Archive of Our Own

It was lunch break, just after homeroom on the first day of the new school year. Rui and Tsukasa were basking on the rooftop.

“Oh, you brought your own lunch today, Rui!”

Rui smiled, opening his lunchbox. “I figured it would be safer for now so I can survey the new cafeteria menu.” Tsukasa’s eyes narrowed. “You're just trying to avoid the vegetables.” Rui chuckled, “You have a keen eye, Tsukasa-kun.” Tsukasa sighed but commented no further.

Tsukasa looked to the sky, closing his eyes and enjoying the gentle breeze flicking his hair out of his face. Meanwhile, Rui was replaying what happened in class earlier this morning. Ah, right, Tsukasa volunteered to become a hall monitor. Specifically to monitor… him? What an interesting reason. Per current state, Rui doubted that Tsukasa would fully avoid partaking in his fun little school experiments. Rui couldn't help but snicker at the thought. If he could get hall monitor Tsukasa to be on his si– “What's got you laughing all of a sudden?” 

Rui turned to face him and leaned closer. “Speaking of having a keen eye, how exactly are you going to ‘watch me closely’, hall monitor?” Surprise crossed Tsukasa's face. “That..” He furrowed his brows, pausing for a moment. “..will be a surprise! I shall not divulge my methods to you, or it's not going to work!”

Rui hummed, “Sure, whatever you say, dear star. Ah, there's this swimming robot I'm thinking of…” As they continued the conversation, Rui pondered what these ‘methods’ could be. Would Tsukasa keep track of his daydreaming in class? Rui couldn’t help it, and he was performing nicely in academics, so that would be an easy deflection. Then would he just look at Rui, watching his every move? Rui thought of those red eyes boring into his own. The bell rang and hit refresh on his brain. Tsukasa got up and gestured for Rui to do the same. The two walked together to class, rambling on about shows and upcoming practice.

The next day, Rui found Tsukasa with students in the hallways. “GOOOOOOOD MOOOORNIIIING!!!!! Please tie your tie properly! And you, keep your shirt tucked in! Wear your socks and shoes!” Tsukasa really did immerse himself in his shiny new role. Rui supposed he had to be more careful now. In the case he gets caught, being yelled at by Tsukasa would not be too bad of a prospect anyway. Tsukasa continued ushering rulebreakers, so Rui turned to walk towards his class. He would let Tsukasa adjust to his role, for now.

“...ui! RUI!”

Rui stopped and turned around to see a Tsukasa half–sprinting towards him. “Hey Rui! Did you see how I was advising those students? Not even a loose tie escapes me!” Rui nodded, “I see you are hard at work, Tsukasa-kun. Quite thoroughly at that.” Tsukasa puffed his chest, his face adorning a small grin. He looked at Rui up and down, his eyes fixated on the area just below the neck—but then he stopped. “Let's get to class, we shouldn't be late this early in the school year!”

Rui pretended to cough, “By the way, aren’t you missing someone?” Tsukasa tilted his head. “What do you mean?” Rui pointed at his own tie. “I have a loose tie, you know.” Tsukasa frowned and folded his hands. “Uh, I did not forget that, of course! I was going to tell you later.” Rui raised his eyebrows, but left the topic behind. A lenience? It was probably a coincidence. Rui's heart nagged, hoping that perhaps Tsukasa had given him special treatment. 

Rui was feeling calm and content. He and Tsukasa were strolling around the mall, window shopping for clothes and bags, eating free food samples, visiting confectionary stores, and going to eat at an all-you-can-eat hotpot. Tsukasa proposed the idea of eating at the hotpot, but was unsure after seeing the prices. Rui’s mind flashed sudden images. Eating hotpot with just Tsukasa, Tsukasa cooking for him, Tsukasa feeding him- Rui fiddled with the hem of his shirt and looked at the price, then at Tsukasa. “Hey, Tsukasa-kun…”

After a back and forth with a concerned Tsukasa, Rui convinced him that it was okay to indulge once in a while. Tsukasa sighed, “Okay, fine. Well, now that we made this commitment, you better eat well!” Rui nodded. “Of course. You have my word~”

The two started ordering their dishes. Somehow, their order turned out to have more barbecue than actual hotpot. “Tsukasa-kun, you can eat the meat too, you know.” Tsukasa looked up to him, mouth still chewing on rice and napa cabbage. He swallowed and wiped his mouth with the napkin. “I am feeling like eating a lot of vegetables today, don’t you worry, Rui!” Rui gave him a confused smile. “Hmm… I’m not really convinced, but I won’t turn that down. Thanks, Tsukasa-kun.” Tsukasa gestured for Rui to continue eating, and he busied himself with more cooking.

Rui picked up his chopsticks, but lingered his gaze on Tsukasa. He looked rather cute, Rui admitted. Tsukasa was cooking for him… his eyes trailed on Tsukasas's hands flipping the ingredients, occasionally glancing at his serious face. He must have become deft from cooking for Saki, in his house. Tsukasa could cook for him too—and Rui would come back from work, get greeted sweetly by a Tsukasa dressed in a fluffy sweater and apron, who had just finished placing the last dish on the table. Rui imagined that his food would smell even better than a restaurant's. Rui would offer to wash the dishes and do laundry as part of their silent agreement. And he would put his bag on the couch, come over to Tsukasa to hug him… 

Rui’s mind went blank as he felt a pair of eyes on him.

“...Rui, you're staring.”

Rui forced a blink, two blinks, and he focused his vision, meeting Tsukasa’s sheepish smile. Rui quickly looked down at his food and started picking up the rice. “Sorry, Tsukasa-kun… Ah, do you cook often? I'd like to learn how to cook, too,” His voice wobbled just slightly; he hoped it was a convincing save. Tsukasa squinted at him. Rui's heart was about to drop, but Tsukasa returned to grinning. “Why, yes, I do! I make the best bento boxes for Saki.” Rui released a breath that he didn't realize he was holding. He decided to focus on mostly eating for the rest of the hotpot session.

Tsukasa reached into his satchel. “Thanks for today's outing, Rui! It was really fun.”

“No no, I should be thanking you for spending time with me, Tsukasa-kun. I'm really happy we got to hang out like this.”

Rui felt warm, so warm in his chest. A tiny fluttering threatened to take over, but he forcefully pushed it down. Rui was 120% sure that this was a normal reaction. Maybe this is what close friends feel after they hang out or have a very good time.

Tsukasa walked closer to Rui, and pulled out a canned drink, placing it on Rui's hand. Rui’s eyes widened. “What's this?”

“It's a Star drink special! Sorry, I couldn't get a fancier container for this.”

Rui rolled the can in his palm. “This is for me?”

“Well, yeah, I made this one just for you!”

The fluttering came back to Rui's chest, full force. “...Thank you, Tsukasa-kun. It means a lot to me.” He hoped that his face didn't look suspicious, because it felt increasingly warm. According to the many romance shows and novels he had seen,  this might mean that he was blushing. Rui considered himself pretty open with his emotions, and yet he did not want Tsukasa to see this side of him.

“You're welcome, Rui! Well, I'll see you tomorrow!” Tsukasa waved.

Rui waved back. “See you, Tsukasa-kun.”

Back at home, Rui directed his focus on coding new robot programs. His yellow eyes reflected blue from the busy monitor as he held his chin. “This IMU is having problems…” His hand reached to the side of his desk, coming into contact with various robot parts and paper, until he hit a particularly tall and cold metal. Rui shuddered and looked to the source of the cold sensation, finding the Star drink special being gripped by his hand. Rui brought the can closer, his other hand about to open the lid, but after a solid five seconds, he retracted his fingers. He stood up and walked to put the can in the fridge. Could he ask Tsukasa for another one?

He stood still in front of the fridge. Rui shook his head and took the can out. He had to find out what it tasted like. He opened the can and took a small sip. It tasted sweet, among other tangy and fruity flavors. Somehow, it also tasted like his favorite brand of soda candy. “Tsukasa-kun knows me so well,” Rui chuckled, walking back to his desk. Taking a sip every moment or so, he solved the robot’s problems before midnight.

Rui lied down on his bed, his head hitting soft pillows. “Today was amazing…” Rui had a goofy grin on his face. His eyes gently closed, breathing relaxed. Tsukasa would be so proud of him for sleeping properly today. He imagined a Tsukasa smiling just for him. Rui's grin relaxed and he drifted to sleep. 

The sun was shining. Rui walked on cobblestone, heading to the front porch. Something amazing will happen today. But why? Rui’s train of thought stopped when a balloon dog ran up to him. “Juliet! You're alright!” Some more balloon animals ran up to him. “Yes, I'm doing alright. I wonder if Romeo is doing okay…”

Wait, Romeo? Rui looked down to find himself wearing an elegant dress. And balloon animals running around him in circles. He looked above him and found robotic phoenixes flying close. Rui put out his finger, expecting a phoenix to land, but was interrupted by a sudden shout.

“JULIET!!!” A Tsukasa wearing a prince-like outfit but somewhat battered and ragged appeared before him. “Juliet, I finally found you..!” Romeo-tsukasa grabbed Rui's hand and knelt down. Rui stumbled forward from the sudden tug, falling into Romeo's embrace. He hugged Rui tightly, and Rui hesitantly wrapped his arms around Romeo as well. Romeo let go and offered his hand to help Rui stand up. Rui took his hand, but did not make the effort to stand, so Romeo had to pull him up. Romeo pulled out a needle and thread from his satchel. He made some articulate hand movements, then *Poof!* a star-shaped pillow appeared between the two. Romeo took it and placed a small ring in the middle of the plush. His red eyes sparkled, and his face glowing. 

“Oh Juliet, the sun of my life… Please allow me your fair hand in marriage!”

Rui froze. Romeo is proposing to him? No, rather, he was proposing to his Juliet. And thus, the right reply would be-

“ Tsukasa… then refuse thy name and I shall swear my love!”

“...”

The balloon animals stopped moving to stare at Rui. The robotic phoenixes flew away. The color of the sky disappeared, leaving a mess of grey. And ‘Romeo’…?

Rui could only stare at the silent Tsukasa. His face—it was contorted, a haze and a muddle, and Rui could not make out what expression he was making. Was he confused? Shocked? Disgusted? Wait, why were his palms shaking? “No. No! Listen to me!” Rui grabbed the star pillow and threw himself upon Romeo's dissipating form, only to pass through and hit his head on the hard stone floor. His vision went dark. 

Rui's eyes shot open. He sat up and looked down—ah, he was hugging a normal pillow. That dream… Rui frowned. He buried his head into the pillow as he attempted to replay what had just happened. Where did he go wrong? He shut his eyes, trying to return to that dream, but his racing heart made it difficult. He got up to take his phone and checked the time. 4 a.m. Rui opened his contacts and messaging app. Tsukasa was still there. Rui put his hand over his chest and exhaled. He blinked a couple times, head now clearing from the dream fog. “It's just a dream…” Rui massaged his temple. “How ridiculous.” Ridiculous? The word echoed in his mind. That's… right. It was ridiculous. There was no way he would ask for Tsukasa's hand in marriage. They're friends. Good friends who trust each other with their lives, an actor and director. Nothing more.

A small and curious part of him ponders what it would be like if they were more. 

Rui was lying on his side on the couch, scrolling through his phone. He was browsing for movie and show titles. “There seems to be a lot of romance titles coming out lately,” he murmured to himself. The image of Romeo-Tsukasa popped into his head. That proposal… He knew that it was likely brought from the memory of a play practice they did last year. Rui thought that play was quite entertaining—a horde of Romeos fighting each other for the sake of marrying one Juliet. “Tsukasa-kun really does know how to make people smile.” a smile crept up his face.

Rui got a pop-up notification. A message from Tsukasa. His leg bounced on autopilot as he opened the app.

T: Rui, wanna tag along to the mall?

R: i thought you wanted to save on money

T: I’m not buying anything! Saki wanted to meet up with her band there. It’s a Saturday, so I thought that you might not be busy?

R: if its an invite from tsukasa-kun, count me in

T: OK! I’ll meet you there in two hours. That good?

R: yes

R: [happy cat sticker]

Rui turned off his phone and clutched it on his chest. Two invites in a row! To hang out with his dear and precious Tsukasa. And Tsukasa was the one who invited him. Rui stood up and paced around the couch. This must mean something special, right?

He put on a neat outfit and looked around to grab a comb, smoothing out his stray hairs. Rui sneezed and looked at the comb. “Ah, it’s dusty…” Using his hands instead, he patted his hair and took a final look on his phone camera. 

“I will not mess this up.”

Rui spotted Tsukasa and Saki in front of the mall’s gate. He waved at the two, “Tsukasa-kun, Saki-kun, good evening~” The Tenma siblings looked like two little suns and they whipped their heads to the direction of the voice.

“Ohh, Rui-san! Long time no see!” Saki beamed. Tsukasa followed suit, “Rui! Glad to see that you made it!”

“Hehe, thank you for the warm welcome. So, shall we go?”

Saki giggled, “Actually, Rui-san, I’m going to hang out with my friends, so take care of my brother!” She walked off and gave the two a big wave.

Rui waved back and turned to face Tsukasa. “So, do you have any plans on where to go?”

“You look particularly neat today, Rui! And yes, I would like to go to see the department store.”

Rui flushed. “O-oh, thank you, Tsukasa-kun.” He was glad that they were still outside under the sunset. He cleared his throat. “Let’s go~”

Throughout the walk, Rui noticed that it was warmer than usual. He glanced at Tsukasa—their hands were almost touching. So close! Rui swung his arm at a slightly different angle, hand now occasionally brushing with Tsukasa’s. Strangely enough, he did not seem to notice, so Rui kept doing it until they stopped before the store.

“Alright! Rui, feel free to have a look around. I’ll be looking at some lamps and decor.”

“Mhm. I’ll come look for you when I’m done, too.”

If Rui were being honest, he did not really need to buy anything right now. So, he just wandered aimlessly through the store’s aisles. Lightbulbs, lamps, taller lamps, couches, beds, pillows… Rui yawned. He wanted to meet Tsukasa again now. He looked around and one particular pillow caught his eye. As he approached, he realized that it was in the shape of a star. The star pillow, just like what Romeo Tsukasa wanted to give him! He caressed the fabric gently. The pillow was soft and mildly cold, so Rui picked it up and gave it a small squeeze. “It’s so soft…” He hugged it even tighter. The texture was addicting. He never wanted to let the star go. 

After what felt like a whole minute, Rui found himself walking to the cashier. He purchased the pillow and returned to hugging it on his way out. “Now, I can have Tsukasa-kun wherever I go, hehe. This must be a sign—”

“Hey Rui! I… wait, what are you doing?” Tsukasa’s voice and footsteps were closing in and fast.

Any movement that he would make would probably make him look more suspicious, so Rui just held his current pose, his back facing Tsukasa.

He felt Tsukasa’s breath near his neck. Wow. If Rui wasn’t blushing then, he definitely was now. He was frozen.

“Rui? Earth to Rui!” Tsukasa walked around him, now looking at Rui’s front. He looked at his flustered face and a… pillow? That was being clutched on for dear life. “What do you have there?”

Rui jumped. Wow, great going on trying to be subtle, he thought. “It’s a pillow for… a show…” He relented and uncovered the poorly concealed star pillow. “It might be good for when you need a landing pad?” Rui forced his eyes to make contact with Tsukasa, who was keeping a safe distance from him.

“You have been acting a little strange, Rui. Did something happen?”

“No. nothing of note,” he replied a little too quickly. He could not tell Tsukasa about this—the mall date had only started. Wait, date?! Hold on. How did it get to this? Did he like Tsukasa in that way? No, no no…

His mind flashed to hall monitor Tsukasa. Then the hotpot outing and his imaginary househusband Tsukasa. And then to dream-Tsukasa, who was kneeling and professing his love in earnest with his classic grin and intense brows.

Rui’s hand shot up to cover his mouth. Of all the times to have a first crush, why must it be Tsukasa?

Rui did not want what they had to change.

“...”

Tsukasa frowned. Rui really did not look well. His body looked stiff and his hands were shaking the slightest. He rarely got physical ailments despite his habits, so it was probably something related to his emotions, Tsukasa racked in his mind. Tsukasa suspected that it might have something to do with him, but he wasn’t confident with this conclusion as these reactions have been pretty recent. In any case, he thought that he should comfort Rui in some way.

“Hey. Rui, look at me.” Tsukasa took a step closer. Rui’s other hand was clutching the star, but it was trembling. Tsukasa laid his hand on the pillow, then looked up at Rui.

“Tsukasa-kun?”

“Rui, I don’t know what’s going on for you right now, but you don’t have to answer that question. I’m sorry.”

Rui uncovered his mouth, and raised an eyebrow. His shaking was less apparent now.

“What? Tsukasa-kun, you don’t have anything to apologize for.”

“Eh?”

“...Sorry about that. I think I might have overreacted.” Rui smiled sheepishly.

“Okay…” Tsukasa let go of the pillow. “Well, I think you’ve calmed down a bit, so that’s good. But you know, you could tell me what’s the problem. I’d like to be a better friend!”

“Better friends…” Rui muttered. He fastened a smile. “Of course, Tsukasa-kun. Hehe, you sound a bit like Kaito there.”

Tsukasa could have sworn that he saw Rui’s eyes turn downcast, but only for a moment. He was back to his cat-like smile. “Hm… I can tell that it’s still worrying you, but I won’t probe. And yeah, I guess his words have been rubbing off on me.”

“Tsukasa-kun, your phone is ringing.”

“Ah, you’re right!” He pulled the phone and hit answer. “Mhm. Mhm mhm. Okay, stay safe and take care! Don’t forget to tell Mom and Dad!” Tsukasa slipped his phone in his pocket. “Was that Saki?” Tsukasa nodded. “She said she will be having a sleepover. Ha ha ha! I’m glad she had found a kind girlfriend. Ah yeah, did you want to buy that pillow?” Rui nodded and headed to checkout. Tsukasa trailed behind and waited for him to pay. “Rui, if you’re tired, you should rest. Troupe leader orders!”

“That might be a good idea.” Rui hoped that their trip would be longer, but after that mess, it would probably be safer to heed Tsukasa’s words. For now, at least.

“Well, until we meet again, Tsukasa-kun.”

“Glad that your flair is back. Farewell, Rui!”

Rui placed the star next to his pillows and patted it a couple times. He sighed. Crawling into bed and pulling up his soft blanket, Rui’s brain replayed the mall mess. Now that was a huge fumble. He just wanted to buy a pillow that reminded him of Tsukasa, which was an obviously normal thing to do. They’re friends, right? They’re just friends. Tsukasa himself said so. Does Tsukasa even swing that way? Rui felt a twinge in his chest.

He will sleep now, or he will get more unwanted thoughts. That’s a problem for tomorrow Rui. He turned on a playlist of raining noises. “Tsukasa-kun making me sleep properly twice in a row. Incredible…”

Sunlight rays shone through the school windows, illuminating two boys who were sitting in a warm, yet empty classroom.

Rui pointed to words in the English textbook. “This is an adverb, so you need to write it here. And don’t forget to use the conjunctions.” Tsukasa nodded, “Hm hm. I see! What about this part?” Rui chuckled. “Well, since this is a letter, you need to write it here—it’s similar to Japanese.”

“I’m done! Thanks for teaching me, Rui.” Tsukasa beamed, his cheeks a tint of red. Ah, the sunlight made him look as if he had a halo. “Even like this, Tsukasa-kun is just too cute…”

Luckily, Tsukasa was focused on admiring his Rui-tutored English letter. Rui sat back on his chair and closed his eyes. “It’s really warm and comfortable here, don’t you think?”

“Of course! Because a star radiates warmth!” Tsukasa puffed his chest, his face proud and glowing. “Say, Rui, what kind of letter would you write?”

Rui’s eyes widened. “Me? Well…” He looked down at the paper and took the pen offered by Tsukasa. He clicked the pen open and began scribbling. Rui wasn’t sure what he was writing, but he felt as though his heart was doing it for him. “I’m done,” Rui smiled.

Tsukasa leaned towards him, but Rui speedily yanked the paper off the table and folded it into a paper airplane. He threw the plane behind him. “Hey! Now I can’t read your letter, Rui!” Rui shrugged. “Maybe it’ll come back, who kn–” thwack . 

“OW!” Tsukasa rubbed the back of his head, and his hand caught on paper. It was the paper airplane. “Aha! I guess your letter did want to meet me after all!” He began unfolding the paper but his arm was grabbed. “Rui?! What gives?” Tsukasa has felt Rui’s grip before, but not to this extent. He was gripping with all of his strength this time. Rui attempted to talk, but he could only mouth his ‘No’s—something was clogging his chest and throat, and only muffled noises came out of him.

Tsukasa looked at the letter from top to bottom.

Rui’s grip grew weak and he let go of Tsukasa’s arm. Tsukasa put the letter on the desk. “Rui, is this a… love letter?”

Rui nodded.

“For who?”

Rui brought up his hand, which pointed to Tsukasa. Rui heard a pop within his body and he hacked until he could feel his airway clear out.

“Ahaha… Looks like the cat’s out of the bag, Tsukasa-kun.”

Tsukasa stared at him, jaws slacked open. He looked a little funny, but Rui suppressed his bubbling laughter. Rui moved the desk to the side and stood up from his chair. He bent down to Tsukasa’s eye level.
“So, the thing is… I’ve been thinking about you a lot, you know? And not just any kind of thinking.” He caressed Tsukasa’s hands. “I thought of what it would be like to have a future together. I’d be able to hold your hand and hug you all I want. I’d have you forever, and we can live happily with each other. I’d like… I would love that. And so,”

Rui leaned in slowly, their faces just a few inches apart. Tsukasa was not backing away, so he closed the gap and pressed his lips against the star’s own. It was a small peck. Rui pulled away, breath ghosting over Tsukasa’s lips.

“...I love you, Tsukasa-kun.”

Rui knelt down and kissed Tsukasa’s knuckles. Well, he was about to, but he felt the hands slowly retract. Rui looked up to meet Tsukasa’s unreadable gaze. Rui could feel his heart pounding in his ears. Rui broke the deafening silence. “Well?”

“...Rui, I knew you were a bold person, but I didn’t expect for you to just kiss me like that!”

Rui tilted his head. It did nothing to clear his headache. “That might have been the boldest bold I’ve ever been.”

“What does this make us, then?”

“Huh?”

Tsukasa cleared his throat. “What do you think this makes us?”

Rui opened his mouth, but no voice came out. His heart was clawing its way out of his throat. “I–”

Tsukasa stood up. “Rui! You need to take responsibility for your feelings!” his voice was irate. “Our feelings towards each other are different now. Did you think of me that way when we hung out? So you thought of me to be that kind of person…”

“!!!”

Tsukasa sighed. “I’m sorry, Rui. It’s just difficult for me to imagine what things would be like now. Would you stare lovingly at me during practice? At school? You know we have responsibilities, and I mean to take mine seriously. Like maintaining our friendship and the theatre troupe.” He turned to look at the window which showed an evening sky. 

“Rui?”

“Yes, Tsukasa-kun…?”

“I’m sorry. Rui, we can’t be friends anymore.”

“...”

“Huh? HUH?!” Rui’s voice was distraught. 

Tsukasa glanced back at him, then turned around to walk towards the classroom door. “Farewell, Rui. This is our last show together.” He shut the door with a quiet ‘click’. Rui stood up and scrambled against the classroom furniture.

“NO! Tsukasa-kun! Come back!” He ran towards the door only to find it locked. He shook and pulled the door handle. The pathway remained closed. He knocked and leaned his forehead against the cold wood.

“Please… come back…”

No answer.

Rui shut his eyes. “I just wanted a little bit of your gaze. Tsukasa-kun? Please look at me. Look at me…” he rasped.

The window showed the night sky, enveloping the classroom with a muddy blue and black. Rui choked on the thickening air.

Rui opened his eyes while gasping harshly. His heart was pounding and his body was sweating. It was dark. Just like the end of the dream he just had.

I’m sorry. Rui, we can’t be friends anymore.

I’m sorry. Rui, we can’t be friends anymore.

…sorry…we can’t be…more.

…

His head hurt and his breath stuttered. Rui reached for the star pillow and hugged it tight. He buried his face into the plush which grew wet as it was stained by tears.

He stayed in that position until he could not feel burning in his chest anymore—but so did the sun begin to rise. 

Rui grimaced. “I just wanted a peaceful sleep…” He kicked away the blanket then stared at the ceiling. Rui grabbed his phone from the desk and brought it to his face. His finger swiped on apps to search for the star’s number—still there. He sighed in relief.

Thumbs hovered over the keyboard. Should he ask how he’s doing? What has he planned for today? Or ask what his type… Rui shut off his phone. Tsukasa had been consuming all of his braincells lately. He should get up and be productive. They were going to meet later today, anyway.

“Cut! Emu-kun, I think you could use that platform to jump higher. Nene would stand in the middle, and Tsukasa-kun would start his line when Emu lands on the other side. We’ll end practice for today.” Rui clapped his hands.

“YAY! Next time, it’ll be super-duper-even more wonderhoy!” Emu hopped off the stage. Nene walked down the stairs. “Rui, are you going to bring that platform to the real stage? It looks quite heavy.” Rui hummed, “I could bring it there, it shouldn’t be a problem with some robots.”

Tsukasa barged in with his booming voice. “Don’t worry, you guys! I can bring it! The world future star needs to train his mind and muscles, after all.” The other three nodded with varying speeds. Nene smiled, “Well then, make sure to bring it on time.” Emu jumped around. “Thanks, Tsukasa-kun!” “You’re welcome! It’s not a problem for me, of course. Ha ha ha!” Rui chuckled. “If you need help, don’t be afraid to tell us.”

As the sunset painted everything with reds and oranges, the troupe parted ways for the day. Rui stood by the seats, looking at Tsukasa’s back. Should he tell him?

“Hey, Tsukasa-kun.”

Tsukasa whipped his head to the voice. “Wha, Rui?! I thought you headed back too.”

Rui scratched his own neck. “I was, but my legs brought me here.” Rui swore he was standing by the seats just a moment ago. Now that it’s come to this, Rui gathered all of his mental strength. It's now or never. The sooner he gets these thoughts off his chest, the sooner he will stop suffering.

He looked to the side. “Tsukasa-kun, may I ask for… a selfish request?”

“Hm? I don’t know why you’d call it selfish, but let’s hear it! As much as I dread testing your experiments, I know that I can trust you, Rui!”

Rui smiled. “I’m glad. I trust you as well, Tsukasa-kun.” he cleared his throat and looked at Tsukasa. “You know how some things between Wonderlands x Showtime change all the time, including the members. And I think that our… friendship could change as well.” Rui took a deep breath.

Tsukasa pursed his lips. “Our friendship? What do you mean?”

“If something were to happen to us, to either of us…I don’t want what we have right now to change. If we become even closer, closer than just ‘normal friends’...” Rui’s voice grew softer and slower.

“Yes?”

Rui inhaled again. “If that time comes…please don’t leave me?” He looked to the side and to the floor. The pavement was excruciatingly detailed, Rui noted. There were small pebbles and dust.

He heard Tsukasa exhale. And then, a hand on his chest. Rui looked at the hand on his chest—it was placed on his heart. Is Tsukasa doing this on purpose?

“Rui. Look at me, okay?”

Rui looked up to meet his face. He was smiling at him despite his strange request. Tsukasa pulled away and opened his arms. “Are you okay with hugs?”

Rui nodded, perhaps a little too quickly. Tsukasa walked to close the gap, wrapping his arms around Rui’s back. Rui leaned down and snaked his own arms around Tsukasa, before pulling him into a tight embrace. Tears pricked his eyes and he snuggled his face into Tsukasa’s shoulder. He could feel Tsukasa’s hand patting his back.

“Hey, Rui?”

“Mhm…”

“It’s okay if you can’t tell me now. But I know for sure that I won’t leave you, no matter what!”

Rui nodded. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. And, um. If this has anything to do with how you’ve been acting lately… I’ll accept your words no matter what. Because I trust you that you’re you," he squeezed back.

After what felt like forever, the two pulled away from the hug, backs aching because of their height difference. Tsukasa stretched his arms out and put them on his own hips. “To be honest, I had a feeling of what it is, but if you aren’t ready to tell me yet, it’s okay.”

Rui nodded. Tsukasa was smiling, he really was smiling. Rui giggled. “This is so different from the nightmares. I suppose that...things will be okay?”

“Yes. Well, I don’t exactly know what’s going on but I’ll wait for you, for as long as you need,” Tsukasa beamed.

Rui sniffled. His eyes sparkled and his cat-like smile returned. 

“Tsukasa-kun… thank you.”

That night, Rui hugged the star pillow and drifted off into a dreamless sleep.