Work Text:
"Sena.. Please stay."
His voice was small, in stark contrast with his usual, it was a plea, a whisper, something desperate, but personal, meant only for the person he was reaching for.
Reaching his arms out softly, he tried to grasp his hand, but it was long gone.
Only the air left in his palms and he couldn't help, but curl in on himself, yet his hand remained stretched, in hopes it would end up held, by some sort of miracle.
But there was no miracle. No warmth and nothing else left.
It was but a mirage in front of his eyes, of his beloved Sena. Even if he were to reach him, he'd end up grasping air either way.
He was never there.
Just a hallucination that kept coming back.
Over and over, his mind played the same cruel trick and it ended the same each time.
Cold.
As he desperately clung onto his own shirt with both hands, nails practically digging into himself, he still didn't feel any warmer.
And even the salty tears felt cold ,even though they've just left his eyes a second ago.
Maybe his whole self was cold.
The husk of himself that laid there had nothing left to it.
Nothing to keep it warm.
And he cried, bloodied, pale, empty. But he still cried, as if he refused to just give in to the nothing, he wanted to keep feeling, even if it was only pain.
Maybe then he could..
Yes, he could be useful again.. He'd have a reason for his worthless existence again.
Oh, to make others smile.
Nothing brought him more joy than to help those he loved and see them thrive.
But maybe there was someone who couldn't smile. No matter what, he couldn't make him smile. Yet he was the person he loved with all his heart.
To fail just the person you most adore in the world.
Maybe there was no greater sin.
This was his punishment.
He couldn't make anyone smile anymore, not even himself.
"Forgive me, Sena.."
That's all he could say.
To the nothing, who would not hear it.
And he couldn't even complain, no.. He was the one who left first. Who left him on his own.
He fought, he fought for him for so long and there was no greater pain to know.
He fought for someone who deserved none.
His reward? More fights. More blood. More pain.
Neverending.
All because he couldn't get himself together.
Because he was weak.
He could have stopped it any time, save his beloved Sena.
He didn't, though.
A punishment most just.
To rot here with no warmth.
If only Sena didn't have to suffer the same.
If only he could make him smile, just once.
But God isn't merciful.
And he remains but an illusion that haunts his heart.