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Penelope Featherington was terrified…and felt silly for being terrified. She was twenty-eight years old, for god’s sake, she should not be shaking like a leaf. She was smart, well-read, and, statistically, she knew she had no reason to be this terrified. This happened every day – she was hardly the first.
But here she stood, trying not to look as if her friends were going to have to forcefully pull her out her front door…and failing miserably she suspected based off Eloise’s hands planting firmly on her hips.
“Pen, it’s a tonsillectomy, not the gallows.” She said plaintively. “You are a strong, independent woman.”
Penelope knew that, but she wasn’t feeling much like a strong, independent woman…she wanted to be unreasonable and nervous. It was a surgery…surely, she had that right.
“Leave her alone, El. You’re not in Pen’s head and you’ve never had an adult tonsillectomy or any other medical procedure to be able to empathize. It may feel like the gallows to her.” Colin defended loyally.
“Thank you, Colin.” Penelope said with a smile and reached out to pat his hand.
“You’re going to be fine, Pen. We’ll stay with you at the hospital until they take you back, and we’ll be waiting for you in the recovery room when they bring you back out. I’ve stocked your freezer with as much ice cream as you can eat…and I can help you eat. We are here to be at your beck and call. I will stay with you during the days and El stay with you during the nights until you’re recovered. You can nap as much as you want to and live in your pajamas on your sofa. We’ll watch bad reality shows, and I’ll read to you. We won’t let anything happen to you. Think how much better you’ll feel without the recurring tonsillitis.”
Dear, sweet Colin always knew exactly what to say to calm her. It was exactly why she had been in love with him for almost fifteen years – in a long, loving relationship that filled her every emotional need…unrequitedly to be sure, because he was certainly not as equally in love with her…they were friends, best of. But because this was a one sided in love relationship her physical needs…well, she was nearly always a burning torrent of desire ready to burst into flames at nothing more than his charming smile…which he gave her just now making her melt and marginally relax a bit with his words.
“How are you making this sound like a peaceful vacation and an exciting event?” Penelope laughed, gazing into the most beautiful and remarkable shade of cobalt blue eyes that she was sure existed.
“There’s nothing to worry about. We’ve got you in the best hospital in the city, of course, booked with the best doctor on their staff.” Colin assured her.
“A benefit of knowing the Bridgertons…and getting it done so quickly too, nearing emergency level attention.” Penelope nodded.
“Come on, Pen. We have to go, or we’ll be late.” Eloise said, grabbing her hand to pull her to the door.
“Wait, I need my purse.” Penelope protested.
“Got it.” Colin said and grabbed her bright yellow bag to hand off to her.
The ride to the hospital was entirely too short and her nerves had ratcheted up so high that her voice shook when she spoke trying to check herself in. Colin had placed a supportive hand on the small of her back and taken over her check in process for her then dipped his head to whisper in her ear.
“Pen, you have to relax. I feel the tension rolling off of you. All will be well, I’m sure of it. Give me your hand…let me absorb some of your stress.”
He didn’t even wait for an answer, grabbing her hand and pressing his palm to hers, then wrapping his other hand on top of hers and stroking his thumb soothingly across her knuckles.
“Nice job, Pen. Breathe. Good. Focus on me. Another deep breath.”
Colin continued calming her while Eloise took over the checking in from Colin and nearly the moment Eloise had finished, they were calling her back. Penelope reached for Eloise’s hand with her other so that they were both supporting her and they walked back with her.
“If they hurt you, Pen…they’ll have hell to pay and then they’ll pay for your reanimation.” Eloise promised her, making Penelope chuckle.
She ducked into the bathroom attached to her room to change into her hideous orange hospital gown then climbed into her bed, Colin taking his place on her left and Eloise taking her place on her right, both resuming their tight holds on her hand until a nurse came in to hook her up to her IV and pushed them to the far sides of her room while she mercilessly jabbed Penelope with a needle trying to find her vein.
Once that was done the anesthesiologist quickly entered to administer the anesthesia into Penelope’s tubing, trying to jovially chatter with her and put her at ease – he had done the best job so far and Penelope found herself wishing for him instead of the overwrought nurse.
“Start a count down from one hundred aloud for me, Miss Feathers.” The nurse said.
“Featherington.” Colin corrected.
“What?” She asked in irritation.
“Her name is Miss Featherington and she’s here for a tonsillectomy.”
“Yes, of course Mr. Featherington. We have that in her chart. We will not take out her appendix instead.” The nurse replied with thinly veiled irritation.
“See that you don’t. And that’s Bridgerton. Mr. Bridgerton….as in Bridgerton Memorial Hospital…where you seem to be currently employed.” Eloise snapped back, far less patient than Colin.
“Alright, then. Miss Featherington, countdown from one hundred aloud. I’ll be right back for you.” The nurse said far more kindly and tolerantly before she hurried out of the room and Colin and Eloise quickly took their places at Penelope’s side again.
“Well, you have sufficiently threatened her, El. I have always been resistant to medications…I hope they’ve given me enough. I don’t want to be awake for this!” Penelope said.
Eloise nodded for her sympathetically, Penelope had had her wisdom teeth out three years ago and had woken up in the middle of it…another reason she was so anxious about this.
“Count with me, Pen.” Eloise said, tightening her hold on her hand.
Penelope turned to look into Eloise’s grey eyes as she started her count then shifted her gaze to the other side of the bed to meet Colin’s kind eyes.
“One hundred, ninety-nine, ninety-eight, ninety-seven, ninety-six, ninety-five, ninety-four, ninety-three, ninety-two, ninety-one, Cookie Monster, monster cookie, Colin, puppy, eleventy-eight, blue-nine...” Penelope said trailing off as her eyes started to droop.
Then she jerked suddenly and looked at him very concerned. “The tree went to Bath?”
“Yes, Pen. It’s right where you meant it to be. I’ll double check for you while you’re gone just to be sure.” Colin assured her. “Keep counting for us.”
“Colinty-three, Bridgy-two, sweetie-one…” Penelope continued to murmur.
Eloise and Colin looked at each with amusement and both squeezed Penelope’s hands reassuringly.
“Doing perfectly, Pen. Sleep, sleep. We’ll be here when you wake up.” Colin said to her comfortingly.
Eloise leaned forward and kissed Penelope’s cheek.
“We’ll wait right here.” Eloise said.
“Love you, Ellie, El, El.” Penelope said in a sleepy singsong voice.
Colin cupped Penelope’s cheek and stroked his thumb over her high cheekbone.
The nurse came bustling back in that she was ready to take Penelope back to the operating room.
“Handsome, sweet, kind, Colin. Mine.” Penelope whispered, turning her head to press a soft kiss to the tip of his thumb as her hazy eyes continued to stare at him. “I’ve always loved…
Colin’s breath caught in his lungs and his heart threatened to pound out of his chest…was she going to say it? Did she feel it?
“…Thumbs.” Penelope finished.
Then she was out. Her breathing was deep and even and her hands went slack in Colin and Eloise’s and the nurse was pushing her away from a flabbergasted Colin.
Thumbs? Surely that was not what she was going to say!
“Well, you heard it here first, Colin. Penelope has always loved thumbs. I always suspected it – from nearly the first moment I met her I said that there is a thumb lover.” Eloise laughed.
“You don’t think that was what she meant to say, do you?” Colin asked incredulously.
“Pen? Pen? Wake up! What do you love?” He said, starting to chase after the nurse.
“Colin, for god’s sake! She's anesthetized! She’s not going to wake up! Leave her be. Of course she doesn’t love your thumbs. Unfathomably, she loves you, dummy.” Eloise said with a roll of her eyes as she dragged him back into the room in surprise.
“What?”
Eloise slapped her hand over her mouth, her eyes went wide, and she shook her head rapidly as if she were trying to convince herself that she had not just said that.
“What do you mean by that, El?” Colin demanded, moving toward her with his eyes wide.
“As a friend of course! You know how many holidays she’s spent with us. We’re like family. She loves us all! All the Bridgertons. Ant, Ben, Daph, Frannie, Greg, Hy, mum, dad…you heard her, she loves me, so of course she loves you too. Anyone with the last name Bridgerton…which is you…Colin Christopher Bridgerton.” Eloise rambled away.
She ripped her phone out of her pocket and faked a phone call as her escape. “Oh, I have to take this. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
Then Eloise scurried out of the room as if she were on fire, leaving Colin to stand there with his mouth hanging open.
He didn’t believe Eloise’s babbling over-explanation for a moment. Of course, Penelope loved him as a friend…they had been best friends for fifteen years. That wouldn’t have required her slapping her hand over her mouth in a panic and dashing from the room.
Was Penelope in love with him?
Could it be possible that sweet, smart, generous and beautiful Penelope was in love with him?
He’d thought about her so many times over the years – any time he had a relationship end it was because he had compared her to Penelope, and she had come back sorely lacking. But his deep connection and friendship with her had always been so important to him that he hadn’t wanted to rock the boat when he thought Penelope never thought about him like that.
He sank down in the chair near the window and ran his hands through his shaggy brown hair pensively. He wanted to go hunt down Eloise and make her tell him everything, but he knew that:
A - Eloise was hiding in the hospital now and would not be easy to find
B - Eloise would not be returning until Penelope had returned from surgery
C - Eloise would never intentionally betray Penelope’s confidence
D - Trying to force Eloise into conversation would have the opposite effect and shut her down to him entirely
Frustratingly, he had had learned all he would from Eloise and now all he had was fallout from a bombshell to try to sort through. He had only thirty minutes to think about it with Penelope’s short procedure, but that was more than enough time because all he had to ask himself was did he love Penelope?
It was a simple yes. She had the truest heart in the world, and he was in love with her for the better part of a decade he was sure of it – his best friend, the other half of his soul.
Now for the first time she had given him some shred of hope that he could take and run with. They were Pen and Colin. Colin and Pen. It had only ever been them.
“Look who I have here!” A different, and far more cheerful, nurse entered pushing her bed in. “Ms. Featherington did a great job. Are you her boyfriend, husband, family or friend?”
“Husband.” He quickly answered coming to stand by her bed and grabbing her hand, though not sure what possessed him to lie that thoroughly. He could have at least said boyfriend.
“Well, Mr. Featherington, your wife did amazing. She’ll have a few hours in this recovery room and then you can take her home. You are free to stay with her. She’ll probably start coming to in about fifteen minutes and she’s going to be a little foggy and slow for a bit. Best to let her sleep and keep her voice quiet.”
“Of course, thank you so much.” Colin said.
When he was alone with Penelope he gazed down at her affectionately, cupped her jaw tenderly, brushed her hair from her face and dropped a kiss to her cheek before he moved to sit back in his chair to wait for her to wake up, bursting to talk to her.
He watched her sleep, taking deep, even breaths as she occasionally shifted to get more comfortable; his heart squeezed when she sighed softly, and her head tilted towards him.
Colin rang the nurse to bring her some ice chips and his timing was fortunate because she started to stir.
“El?” Penelope scratchily asked, slitting her eyes sleepily to look at him.
“I’m here, Pen. You’re not supposed to talk.” Colin said, rushing to her side to clasp her hand in his.
“I didn’t say anything betraying myself to Colin, did I?”
Colin looked over his shoulder, just to ensure that Eloise had not popped back in the room…she had not. Poor, loopy Penelope thought she was talking to Eloise, not Colin. He wasn’t sure who should be more insulted…him being mistaken for Eloise or Eloise for being mistaken for him. Male vs female, low voice vs high voice, six inches of height difference, four stones…he’d wager…he sure the hell wasn’t asking Eloise that.
He hid his smile. Penelope was still wearing off her anesthesia.
He absolutely should not exploit that fact…and even though he had just told himself that he asked anyway.
“Betray yourself how?”
“You know…the usual. Gorgeous Colin. Sweet Colin. Your soul is beautiful, Colin. Kiss me, Colin. I’m in love you, Colin. Marry me, Colin.” Penelope murmured, her voice dry and cracking. “Where is Colin?”
Colin’s whole mind, body and soul lit up with that. She thought him gorgeous with a beautiful soul. She wanted to kiss him. She loved him. She wanted to marry him. His head began spinning in a million different directions.
Marrying Penelope, having children with Penelope, Christmases with Penelope, starting family traditions with Penelope. How beautiful their life would be together.
Wait, what was her question?
“Errr…no, Pen. You said no such thing before surgery…and he went to go get something to eat from the cafeteria.” Colin said with a shrug, giving the most plausible answer.
There…not technically a lie. This was after surgery she was making her confessions…him being in the cafeteria however…definitely a blatant lie.
“Of course he did…he’s always hungry. While I was under, I was having a dream repeatedly that I said something stupid to him.”
“No, nothing stupid at all and those are beautiful sentiments. You should tell him.” Colin encouraged.
“Har har. You know he doesn’t care for me in that way and his friendship is too important to lose.” Penelope said through a yawn, and though her voice was hoarse, her speech was becoming clearer as the anesthesia wore off.
“Hmm…I think you may be wrong about that. You may be surprised. Rest your voice now, Pen. Sleep. You’re not supposed to be talking.” Colin said, trying to sound bossy like Eloise. “I’m going to go and leave Colin here with you. He’ll see you home safely and take care of you.”
“Ok.” Penelope said agreeably then immediately fell into the deep sleep she had been fighting.
Colin sent Eloise a message that she should go home; Pen was fine, but they needed to talk, and he needed her to not be there…as she was still avoiding him all he got was a thumbs up.
The longest afternoon of his life ensued as he waited for her to not only wake, but to be discharged. Finally the more patient nurse burst back into the room with a smile and told him that he could take her home.
“Ms. Featherington!” She called out loudly and brightly, ensuring it would wake Penelope up. “Welcome back to us this sunny afternoon! Your husband is ready to take you home!”
Colin had the decency to blush – though it was the not first time he had had been mistaken as her husband…it was however the first time he had been called that because he had proclaimed himself to be said husband.
Luckily, it had happened enough times that Penelope just went along with it and nodded.
“Good day, Mr. Featherington. Take good care of her now.” The cheery nurse said and left them.
Penelope smiled at that.
“I’ll go change back into my clothes.” Penelope said, backing up towards the bathroom.
When she emerged, Colin tucked her yellow purse on his shoulder, her hand in the crook of his arm and they made their way to the entrance to catch their ride share.
Thirty minutes later he had her settled in on her sofa, tucked under a blanket and his patience had reached its utmost limits.
He sank down to his knees in front of her while she looked at him in surprise.
“You’re not supposed speak, so you just listen, my sweet Pen.”
Her eyes went wide in shock.
“We had a little mix up at the hospital and you thought I was Eloise where you told me…some things about your feelings...for me.” Colin started and watched her cheeks heat while she tried to look away. “No, don’t be embarrassed. I’m so glad it happened because I’m in love with you, Pen. I have been for an embarrassingly long time. I thought you didn’t return my feelings, and I didn’t want to lose you as a friend. Friend Pen is far better than no Pen at all, so I’ve tamped down my love for years. You are caring, kind, beautiful, brilliant, and funny. I am my true self when I’m with you. I love you. So very much.”
Penelope didn’t respond...was she still asleep? Was she still medicated? Was this a hallucination? Surely, this could not be happening. The man she loved, kneeling before her, proclaiming his love to her was a mirage.
She closed her eyes and counted. “Five, four, three, two, one.”
She opened them again and he was still in front of her.
“Colin?”
“Pen, please. Tell me you love me too. I’m yours and you have my heart. Please tell me the same.” Colin asked.
“I feel like this cannot be real and I am still dreaming” She whispered.
“You are awake and this is real, my love.” He said, caressing her cheek with the tips of his fingers.
“Colin, I have loved you from the moment our eyes first met.” Her voice struggling with all the words and he felt terrible that he hadn’t given her more of a recovery period but having a hard time regretting it because his heart was now soaring. “You captured a piece of my soul that day and you have held it ever since, whether you knew it or not.”
“I want to be your everything – your love, your husband, your partner, the other half of your soul…I want to be your emergency contact – in case of emergency, contact Colin Featherington.”
“What? You’re taking my name?” Penelope asked incredulously.
“According to the nurses at the hospital today, yes.”
Penelope gave a hoarse giggle.
“Mr. Featherington it is then. I love you, Colin.”
“I love you, Pen.”
“I cannot give you a proper kiss in this condition.” Penelope said ruefully.
“I know.” He replied regretfully. “But we’ve already waited all these years, being in love with each other. What’s another few days?” Instead of kissing her lips, he brought the back of her hand to his lips.
“We are so dumb.”
“Very.” Colin, quite smartly, agreed with his wife…err, soon-to-be wife.