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The red haired erythrocyte was walking around, doing her deliveries like any other day in the body. The continuous cycle of walking, receipts, stamps and walking had tired her out. And it wasn't exactly peachy that she had a terrible sense of direction. She sighed after giving a box of oxygen to a Hepatocyte, finally getting a break. She then sat down on a nearby bench, and closed her eyes. Her body was tired, sore and frustrated. Her job was getting harder with time, but she just dismissed it as ageing.
Ageing.... didn't all cells go through it? Sure, she had seen a few cells pass away here and there, but it had never occurred to her that her companions, the cells whom she cared about the most, would also be swept away by the sands of time. Her seniors, her juniors, everyone she would talk to. As she pondered upon this, her thoughts were interrupted by a gentle male voice.
"Miss Red Blood Cell?"
She immediately looked at the source of the sound, and realised that someone was talking to her. A cell whom she really cared about. U-1146. The white blood cell who was a dear friend of hers. Her lips then curved into a smile as she waved towards the leukocyte.
"Oh hey there Mr White Blood Cell! I didn't see you there."
He looked at the small erythrocyte, his expression slightly puzzled. He was confused as to why she seemed so quiet and distracted, usually the cell would be energetic and you could practically hear her thoughts whizzing throughout the chains of haemoglobin within her cell membrane. She was never this quiet. But he couldn't think about his suspicions while she was waving at her, so he gave her a brisk wave and sat beside her.
"Would you like a cup of tea, Miss Red Blood Cell?"
He said, trying to understand what was wrong with her. He didn't understand why she was so quiet and his mind couldn't properly decipher her body language. He had very rudimentary social skills, and most of them came into existence when he had started talking to the sunny erythrocyte. The smaller cell looked at him, and nodded. She got up, and walked to a nearby vending machine to buy a cup of tea for her companion and herself. The immune cell was now even more confused. He had asked her whether she wanted a cup of tea, he hadn't asked her to get him a cup of tea. Her behavior made no sense to him.
As she returned with two cups of steaming liquid, he decided to question her again. "Miss Red Blood Cell." He briskly said, while accepting the cup she held in her hand. She hummed to indicate her attention was on what he was about to say to her. He took a deep breath. In all honesty, he never had any idea about what to say to her. She would always fill the silence which isolated him from others with her cheery voice and excited demeanor. So all he ever did was nod and smile to encourage her story, whether it were interesting or not.
"...Is something wrong? I mean, you've been awfully quiet today. Usually you seem all vivid and energetic, but it seems as if clouds have obscured your sunny demeanor." After recognising her expression as bemused, he immediately looked away, covering his eyes with his cap. She looked rather taken aback by his statement. It was strangely poetic, as if he had been observing her demeanor through the little knowledge about socializing he had. The erythrocyte kept looking at him, her brows furrowed in a mixture of awe and puzzlement.
"...Forgive me for asking, but... what was that supposed to mean, Mr. White Blood Cell?"
His pale features were now red in embarrassment, as he meekly tried to answer her question. 'Of course she was wondering what you said, you idiot. Who says things like clouds have obscured your sunny demeanor in the 21st century? Get a grip on yourself!' He internally scolded himself.
"...N-nothing really, I was just asking you about why you're so quiet."
His voice came out in the form of a meek whisper, not at all the pronounced and stoic voice which he usually possessed while talking to other cells.
"Oh."
They both sat in silence, as the erythrocyte contemplated about whether she should answer her companion's question truthfully. She didn't know how he would react, as she had not asked too many questions to him throughout their friendship. She eventually realised that it would be for the best if she wanted to know how it was going to end. She may have been a little air-headed, but even she knew that everything with a beginning has to have an end. She heaved a heavy sigh and looked into his eyes.
"...H-how long is your lifespan, exactly?"
The statement came out meeker than she wanted it, but maybe it was for the best. She was sure if it were louder, the leukocyte would have probably gone into spontaneous apoptosis. The neutrophil looked rather appalled and nervous. He didn't seem like he wanted to answer AE's question. She gulped, feeling guilty.
"Y-you don't have to answer it if you aren't comforta-"
"Approximately 2 weeks."
The neutrophil sharply interrupted her incoherent and nervous mumbling, possibly too sharply for his liking as he immediately tried to apologise but was cut by an even more meek word which she uttered.
"...oh."
She quavered, her lips shaking slightly as she processed the information which was given to her. The neutrophil felt terrible. He had never meant to hurt her. He wasn't supposed to hurt her, he was supposed to protect her. He was supposed to protect her, right? "...I didn't mean to..." He began to say, but paused. He didn't mean to what? Tell her the truth?
A few moments of silence were observed between the two cells, neither knowing what to say to eachother. Finally, after the erythrocyte had finished her tea, she clutched the neutrophil's arm, still unsure about what to say. As he looked at her, he noticed how deep her irises were. They seemed to go on forever. He didn't recognise anything that lay in the depths of her golden eyes, but he could recognise a few things. The pain. The uncertainty. The fear. The sadness. As always, he felt as if he could almost see her thoughts whizzing through the chains of her haemoglobin, but looking into her eyes... he realised that he never understood what she felt. What he assumed she was feeling, was always what she wanted him to assume that she was feeling. She was a master of disguise, much stronger and much... kinder than he was. He always knew that one day, some day this conversation was going to happen, it was a canon event, something which was carved in stone.
So then why couldn't he say it out loud? 'I'm going to die, and so are you. We all have to die someday so that the body can get through another one. We are all replaceable.' That's all that he believed he needed to say. But it was much more complicated than that. He wanted to hide the truth, he wanted to shelter her from the world, isolate her from the rest of the world so that her smile could stay. Yes, she was naive, and didn't know much about how the world worked. That you had to let go of people, say goodbye. He didn't think she was ready for that. Little did he know how wrong his assumptions were. His thoughts were soon interrupted by her voice.
"A-are you about to die, then?"
Her voice seemed to be breaking, and as her eyes stared into his, he felt her emotions flowing freely around them, binding them together. He couldn't let go of her or create an excuse and leave this situation. He knew he had to face this someday. He took a deep breath, but couldn't get himself to speak, so he nodded. Her fingers twitched around his arm as her mind registered his inaudible response. She looked away, unsure about how to accept this fact. She felt her heart rate slowly quicken, as her grip on the neutrophil's arm tightened. Her jaw tensed, and her face seemed pallid. The neutrophil noticed her discomfort, and tried to caress her face in an attempt to calm her down. That did not help. She again looked him in the eye, her eyes filled with frustration and anger along with the fear and sadness this time.
"Why didn't you tell me sooner? Were you even planning on telling me?"
He felt as if he had lock-jaw. He couldn't speak. He didn't want to speak. He thought that she'd never forgive him if he did.
"...I wasn't. I wasn't planning on telling you. I never wanted to tell you about this. I...I thought that I would just leave silently, and that you would forget about me."
The neutrophil said in the most normal tone he could muster at the moment while she was practically mincing his elbow with her nails. The expression on the erythrocyte's heart-shaped face was nauseating. She was angry, upset, frustrated, confused, terrified... The neutrophil tried very hard to identify her emotions, but he could only tell that she was upset. This was the first time she had not masked her true feelings, and the leukocyte didn't know how to feel.
"Why? Am I of such less importance that it never crossed your mind that I care? Am I that much of a burden to you that you refuse to even tell me about your-"
She paused mid sentence, her heart catching in her throat. Yes, she was angry, but she was also scared. He meant a lot to her. But did he even know that? She couldn't say it. She didn't know how to say it. He meant so much to her, that she didn't even know what he was to her. She looked at her shoes, refusing to look at her companion. The neutrophil knew that he had messed up.
"...I'm sorry. I really am, Miss Red Blood Cell. Would you allow me to explain my actions?"
The neutrophil turned to face his companion. Her expression was enough to send his lysosomes tingling uncomfortably. He hated that he had made her feel this way and he wished that he could take back everything that he had said. The erythrocyte nodded, not wanting to end their relationship on a bad note.
"...What I meant to say was that... I was not planning on telling you about this because I wanted to protect you. From... from the truth. That our friendship was meant to end in tears. And... I can't bear to see you in pain. I really cannot. You mean a lot to me and... and I don't want to hurt you in any way. That is why I was thinking about leaving silently, without a trace. And one day, you'd forget about me. A-and... I was okay with that. I still am okay with you forgetting me and moving on to other cells, living your life because... because I know that I was never meant to be a big part of it. I don't just want to protect you, I want to protect your innocence, I want to protect your cheery nature, I want to protect your smile. Because it makes my day. Its all that I live for."
The neutrophil paused to look at his companion's reaction to his speech, and she was in tears. Her amber eyes were sparkling and she looked at him with a expression he could not gauge. After all this time, he still could not decipher the erythrocyte's emotions.
"...Do you accept my apology, Miss Red Blood Cell?"
He spoke in a gentle tone during which his voice wavered slightly due to his emotions. The erythrocyte looked at him, her amber eyes still naive and impressionable to the cruel world. She didn't ever know how much she meant to him and if her company was what he looked forward to the most... that made her feel special. Out of all the 37.2 trillion cells in the body, she was the one whom he cared about, whom he would die for.
"Was... was there ever a point to our friendship? Did... did it even matter?" The erythrocyte asked, her voice unusually soft.
"It mattered to me."
"Are you just going to... leave without a trace?" Her voice became softer, a loud whisper, to be precise.
"Yes."
"Why...why does it have to end like this?" Her voice was now laced with desperation, as she interrogated the neutrophil.
"...I don't know."
"Isn't there another way?" Her voice was softer, but you could still hear the frustration present.
"I wish."
"...Are... are you going to forget about me?" Her voice was now barely audible, merely coming out as a low whisper. She seemed scared, disappointed and confused. The neutrophil then cupped her face and tilted it upwards, so that he could look into her eyes.
"I couldn't."
The erythrocyte's lips were parted, her hand held the hand which was cupping her cheek, and her attention was entirely on the neutrophil's demeanor. He sounded earnest, and as she looked into his visible eye, she could see the honesty in the dark depths. He was never hard to read, and she was rather experienced at deciphering a person's true motives. She seemed distressed by the information he had just given her about his unavoidable demise. He didn't know what to do. As he watched her silently, he decided that he should ask her a question.
"...Why... why does my death affect you, Miss Red Blood Cell?"
The erythrocyte looked at the neutrophil, appalled as to why he would ever ask her something like that. "W-why wouldn't it? I.. You're a good friend of mine a-and... I... I can never imagine a world without you... how could I? A-and... are you just... just going to... leave?" She managed to respond, but her voice was shaky and she could barely control herself. She felt as if she was breaking apart, and she didn't know what to do. The leukocyte looked at her with an emotion so faint that even a therapist couldn't identify.
"Is there anything in this world which is permanent, Miss Red Blood Cell? From the leaves on the trees to the stars which keep us alive, nothing remains for eternity."
"...W-what can I do about that, then?"
The leukocyte then flashed a rare smile, and pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket. It was folded, and seemed heavily thumbed. He turned towards the erythrocyte, and gently held her face in his hand. He felt her lingering breath in between his fingers and the feeling was overwhelming. He had never been so close to her, so true to his own feelings, never in his entire lifespan.. She clumsily held the hand which caressed her face, and he intertwined his fingers in between hers. It was an odd feeling which made them both feel numb and warm at the same time, but they welcomed it. He then let go of her hand, and then unfolded the piece of paper he held in his free hand.
"...This is something that doesn't stand the test of time, but it'll last long enough to keep you from being lonely. Do you fancy a guess?"
"I... I don't know. I can't seem to think of anything that could match the description you're giving me. It sounds... fantastical."
He then turned the paper around so she could see the contents on it, and her haemoglobin felt as if it were disintegrating.
"...H-how?... I thought that.... the Dendritic Cells used these as blackmail..."
"Lets just say that I have my ways."
She looked at the neutrophil and his lips were curved in a fond smile, and she felt the love he felt for her ebbing around him. She looked at the piece of paper he had handed her. It was a photograph of them sitting together after the heat stroke incident. Everything about that moment seemed so... perfect to the erythrocyte. The way her companion's eyes were smiling along with his mouth, the way the photo was angled to elevate their expressions, the way he held onto her shoulder, seemingly never letting go, everything. It truly felt as if it were a moment frozen in time, captured onto this tangible piece of paper. She looked at him, and he looked back at her.
"This is for if you ever get home after a tiring day and somehow your thoughts drift back to me. It's to keep you company when I'm gone."
She kept looking at him silently, her eyes filled with emotions she couldn't name.
"And you can keep me inside the pocket of your ripped jeans, and I'll hold you close until our eyes meet, so that you'll never be alone."
Usually, his strangely poetic words would confuse the erythrocyte, but right now, she understood every word that he meant, and it resonated within her soul. She then asked him one final question.
"...How do you feel to be at the end of your lifespan? Do you feel... more knowledgeable and mature?" She asked the neutrophil quietly, looking up at him while fingering the photograph of them which she held in her hand. The neutrophil looked upwards, subconsciously flexing his powerful jaw muscles which were probably yassified due to the constant phagocytosis he had to go through. After pondering upon his companion's question, he looked at her and smiled affectionately.
"I've actually learnt a thing or two about life by now. Would you care to listen to an old man ramble on about the 'kids these days' , Miss Red Blood Cell?"
She looked at him, a little unnerved by the fact that he was acting as if he was just going on vacation. "You're not an old man... but sure." The neutrophil let out a deplorable but warm laugh and crooned, "You praise me too much, Miss Red Blood Cell. I'm at the end of my lifespan, yet you say that I'm not old."
"Well, its because you aren't. You're just old by neutrophil terms. Not in a general way." She huffed, sounding even more perturbed. "Okay, if you insist."
"Life is a mixture of fate and choices. Fate creates situations for you where you get to make a choice. Fate doesn't control your choices, it only lays them out for you, hoping that you'll pick the one which benefits you the most."
"But I thought that it was because of fate that we've been meeting eachother for so long. It's the reason our friendship still exists."
The leukocyte shook his head, "You misunderstood me, Miss Red Blood Cell. Fate only decides one thing. Our life and our death. Sure, we don't get a choice in our purpose, but maybe that's just another fault in this mortal landscape. You made the choice to stand there as the pneumococci were about to kill you. You made the choice to not inform the other red blood cells about the pneumococcus which was attacking you in the alveolus. You made the choice to ask me about whether we would see eachother again. You made the choice to keep on going, even though your kouhai thought that all was lost. I made the choice to hold your hand so that you wouldn't fall out of the wound. I made the choice to... follow you throughout your circulation so that you wouldn't get hurt. I made the choice to never let go of you. We made the choices which led us to our friendship. It... It was not fate that we met. We chose to do the things which led us to meet and have a flourishing friendship. Sure, I'm about to die, but when I look back at what choices I have made to reach to this stage of my life, I... I feel fulfilled. For the most part... I... I still feel terrible about having tried to make the choice to silently disappear from your life. Sometimes I wonder... I wonder if you would have actually been protected from the world's malicious gaze or would my dishonesty have made your life even more miserable."
"But you chose to tell me now. These thoughts... they mean nothing, absolutely nothing unless you act upon them. And you have acted upon them, whether you wanted to or not. I... I really appreciate you telling me the truth regarding all of this, Mr. White Blood Cell."
The neutrophil turned to look at his erythrocyte. Even though he had always known that she was much stronger and purer than he was, he was astonished by the fact that she was this understanding and emotionally mature. Just as he was about to say something, his receptor pinged which meant that there was an antigen nearby. As soon as he began to scramble away, the erythrocyte grabbed his wrist. He whirled around to look at her confused as to why she was doing this action. She knew how important his job was and that there could be a serious issue if he didn't complete it. But that didn't matter to her.
"...What's wrong?"
"..I..I know how important your job is... a-and... and that you need to go but...
...Please don't leave me alone."
That one sentence made the neutrophil's whole life flash before his eyes. He felt everything all at once. The way she made him feel was indescribable. Finally, he felt that he could leave in peace, knowing that the most amazing person in the world wanted him to stay by her side. But still, a part of him just wanted to hold his erythrocyte in his arms and never let go. He wanted to reassure her that everything would be okay, and that he would never leave her. But was he capable of doing so? He closed his eyes and sat down beside her, but closer to her this time. He wanted her to feel his presence, but at the same time, he did not want to cross any boundaries which existed between the two cells. She still held his wrist as her embarrassed and hurt expression gave away all her thoughts.
As the leukocyte and erythrocyte sat beside eachother in silence, the leukocyte contemplated on how to respond to her statement. After an eternity of procrastinating, he decides on one thing. He turned towards her and wrapped his arms around her, resting his head on her shoulder.
"...I won't, Miss Red Blood Cell. Not today."
"Please don't leave me alone."
"I promise."
Tears began sparkling in her round eyes, and she began to cry. Her sobs were soft and you could feel the pain dispersing in the air surrounding her. The erythrocyte buried her head in her neutrophil's shoulder, accepting the feeling of his form around her, as she knew that this was something that she would never feel from the leukocyte again.
"I don't want you to go!"
"I'm sorry."
"Why do you have to leave?"
"..."
"Please stay."
"..."
"I need you by my side..."
"..."
"...I-I... I don't want you to go...."
"...I know."
"...I don't want you to go..."
"I know."
The erythrocyte forced herself to look into her neutrophil's eyes one last time. She could see how terrible he felt about all of this, and hated that she had made him this upset about her reaction. He cupped her cheek in his hand and she leaned into his touch as his rough, calloused hands gently caressed her soft skin. Once again she unfolded the photograph of herself and her companion, and she smoothed out the creases. It was a surreal feeling, seeing the both of them together, their faces seemingly unaware of the terrible fate that awaited their relationship. She looked back at her neutrophil, who surprisingly had a smile on his face.
"...Miss Red Blood Cell, you shouldn't worry yourself about what is going to happen. Enjoy these final moments we have with eachother, and when the time comes... I know you'll be ready to let go. You're stronger than I am. You're purer than I am. I sometimes wished that I could be you, blissfully unaware of the cruelty of this world. And even if you aren't ready, just know that I'll wait for you. I'll be waiting for you, no matter how long it takes. Can you j...just do a favor for me?"
"Yeah?"
"Talk to other neutrophils after I'm gone. Make them feel the same way you make me feel. Loved. Make them feel like their efforts to preserve this organism matter."
"...of course."
She rested her forehead against his collarbone, still terrified of losing her neutrophil. She was clutching his jacket sleeve with her small hand and he was moving his fingers through her hair. No matter how many other neutrophils she would meet, he was always special to her. He was the one whom she cared about. He made her feel special and loved, and she wanted to do the same. She wanted to never let go.
The neutrophil himself was tearing up. He closed his eyes and held her close, never letting go. Because when he would be forced to let go of her, he would not be able to see his angel's beautiful smile.
The smile which he was prepared to die for.
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