Work Text:
Steel Samurai Pilot Script
Establishing.
EXT. A COURTYARD DOJO ON A MOUNTAIN OVERLOOKING NEO-OLDE TOKYO - SUNRISE
There’s a clash of steel on steel as we see the end of a fight. THE STEEL SAMURAI wields his spear defensively, blocking an onslaught of hits from his opponent’s Tantō Dagger. Pan to his opponent, THE QUARTZ QUEEN, his mentor. Suddenly he feigns, making an opening and taking it he knocks her onto the floor. A beat, she stands and they bow to each other.
QUARTZ QUEEN
You’ve improved a lot.
STEEL SAMURAI
Thank you master, I owe it all to you.
QUARTZ QUEEN
That’s not true, you’re the one who did all the hard work. Three years time and you’ll be unbeatable but until then I’m glad to have you as my student. Do you feel like that title fits a bit better yet?
The Steel Samurai looks away, flustered.
STEEL SAMURAI
I don’t know, The Steel Samurai is just so noble. How did you get used to The Quartz Queen?
Now the Quartz Queen looks away more rueful and secretive.
QUARTZ QUEEN
Time mostly. It shouldn’t be as hard for you as it was for me though… But I did always know I was going to be a Metalman when I grew up. Perks of a family line I suppose.
STEEL SAMURAI
I wouldn’t know.
QUARTZ QUEEN
You never did tell me why you wanted to become one actually…
The Steel Samurai remains silent.
QUARTZ QUEEN
You know, that’s where most people would provide an answer.
STEEL SAMURAI
It’s a long story…
QUARTZ QUEEN
Then I’ll cut you a deal. I’ll take you out for dinner, at say seven, and you’ll tell me the whole story.
STEEL SAMURAI
Alright.
QUARTZ QUEEN
Perfect, I'll meet you right here.
EXT. THE PATH TO THE DOJO- NIGHT
The Steel Samurai is running through the streets, he looks to the moon and shakes his head.
STEEL SAMURAI
(muttering)
I’m so late.
Steel rushes up the steps to the dojo and bursts in.
INT. DOJO
STEEL SAMURAI
Quartz, sorry I’m late. I lost track of time.
Silence, then the swoosh of a blade cutting through air. Steel hears and runs to the courtyard
EXT. DOJO
Steel halts and we see a mysterious figure jump out of the courtyard leaving the Quartz Queen in a heap on the floor, Steel rushes over to her, cradling her in his arms.
STEEL SAMURAI
Quartz, you’re okay, you’ll be fine. We’ll get you to a Serviceman and you’ll be perfectly fine.
The Quartz Queen shakes her head.
Quartz Queen
Listen, to me Steel. I believe in you, just remember-
The Quartz Queen dies before she can finish.
STEEL SAMURAI
No no no no, three years. You promised me three more years. Please Quartz please. This is all my fault, isn’t it? I let this happen.
The Steel Samurai gently lowers the Quartz Queen down and gingerly takes her dagger out of her hand. He uses his spear to steady himself as he stands up.
STEEL SAMURAI
I swear to you Quartz I will not let this go unpunished. I WILL find the one who killed you and enact justice.
The Steel Samurai bows to his master for the final time and leaves the dojo.
EXT. NEO-OLDE TOKYO ROOFTOPS - THE NEXT DAY
The Steel Samurai looks out over the edge of the rooftops, trying to find signs of who could’ve killed his master. In Neo-Olde Tokyo trouble is never too far away. From the opposite direction there’s a scream then cackling.
PURPLE PAIN
Finally I will have revenge on all those who looked down on me!
The Steel Samurai leaps into action and sees THE PURPLE PAIN, he’s a Metalman clad in metallic purple, his armour is worn and cheap and his voice is screechy. Between his brows is a dent. He is terrorizing a handful of citizens.
STEEL SAMURAI
Stop villain!
PURPLE PAIN
What the? Who are you?
STEEL SAMURAI
I am the Steel Samurai and you won’t get away with these foul deeds.
The Steel Samurai raises his spear towards the Purple Pain.
PURPLE PAIN
Hah! Pathetic, I’ve never seen you around before. Are you new?
STEEL SAMURAI
What does that matter, I’ll stop you just the same!
PURPLE PAIN
Oh I’m shaking in my boots, NOT! I know you’re new because you’ve clearly never heard of me, the Purple Pain! I’m known for taking rookies down around these parts, but if you don’t believe me I’m happy to give a more practical demonstration.
STEEL SAMURAI
Do your worst!
PURPLE PAIN
Oh I intend to.
The Purple Pain lets out a savage cry and runs at the Steel Samurai at full speed. He starts to attack the Steel Samurai with a jagged club. The Steel Samurai manages to dodge a couple hits before the Purple Pain lands one on his shoulder.
PURPLE PAIN
This will be easier than I thought!
STEEL SAMURAI
You haven’t won yet!
The Steel Samurai takes the Purple Pain’s moment of cockiness and uses it to his advantage, poking an opening around the club with the samurai spear and landing a wound to the Purple Pain’s bicep.
PURPLE PAIN
You’ll pay for that!
The Purple Pain moves with a renewed vigor but with his arm injured the fight is much more even now. They clash for a few beats.
PURPLE PAIN
What on earth is that?
The Purple Pain points at nothing and the Steel Samurai turns to see. While he’s not looking the Purple Pain lands a devastating blow to his side knocking him to the ground.
PURPLE PAIN
Oh I guess it was nothing heh heh.
STEEL SAMURAI
You have no honor.
PURPLE PAIN
I never claimed to kid.
The Purple Pain readies his final blow straight for the Steel Samurai’s head, at the very last second the Steel Samurai rolls out of the way. The Purple Pain doesn’t have time to stop the swing and in the moment it takes for him to raise the club again the Steel Samurai sweeps his leg with the spear. The Steel Samurai gets up and points the end of his spear to the Purple Pain’s throat.
PURPLE PAIN
(with cowardly desperation)
Wait wait wait I yield I yield.
STEEL SAMURAI
You are a pathetic coward, but fortunately you’re of more use to me alive for now.
PURPLE PAIN
So you’ll spare me?
STEEL SAMURAI
If you give me the information I need, yes.
PURPLE PAIN
I’ll tell you anything, anything at all!
STEEL SAMURAI
What do you know about the Quartz Queen?
PURPLE PAIN
Ugh that old biddy?
The Steel Samurai lowers his spear so it’s a bit closer to the Purple Pain’s neck.
PURPLE PAIN
I mean that wonderful and young maiden.
STEEL SAMURAI
That’s more like it. Who would want her gone?
PURPLE PAIN
Wait, is she dead? Dang well there’s a lot of Metalmen who she’s thwarted over the years. But if they actually managed to kill her, that would be a whole other class. All I can really think of is CLAN RETRIBUTION.
STEEL SAMURAI
Clan Retribution? What’s that?
PURPLE PAIN
You mean who’s that. They’re an insufferable group of Metalmen, we’re from similar offshoots you see, but they think that they’re so great because they maintain the balance of power by whatever means necessary. I don’t really get it.
STEEL SAMURAI
How does that relate to the Quartz Queen?
PURPLE PAIN
Well she was always getting in the way you know. Defending innocents they thought threatened the balance, fighting them off if necessary. If I were you I’d be picking a fight with THE EVIL MAGISTRATE right now. But then again if I were you Evil Magistrate would completely clobber me.
A moment of silence as the Steel Samurai ponders.
PURPLE PAIN
Eh heh heh… can I get up now?
The Steel Samurai withdraws his spear.
PURPLE PAIN
Thank you, thank you!
The Steel Samurai turns his back to the Purple Pain and begins to walk away.
STEEL SAMURAI
Your title’s not a lie, you are a real pain. Best get to a Serviceman soon for that cut on your arm.
The Purple Pain scurries away to follow the Steel Samurai’s advice when the crowd that the Purple pain was just terrorizing starts to cheer for the Steel Samurai. One brave man comes up to the front of the group and begins to shake the Steel Samurai’s hand.
CIVILIAN
Oh thank you, thank you sir. What did you say your title was? The Steel Samurai?
STEEL SAMURAI
Um yes, that’s me.
The crowd cheers for him once again, this time using his title.
CIVILIAN
We can never thank you enough for keeping us safe. You said you were going to take on the Evil Magistrate next?
STEEL SAMURAI
Well, that is what makes the most sense.
CIVILIAN
You are a wonder sir. You’re like the people’s warrior, stepping in to save us from the corrupt Metalmen. Everyone gave it up for the Steel Samurai: Warrior of Neo-Olde Tokyo!
The crowd cheers for their newfound hero.
Cut to End Credits.
“Alright the first episode of the Steel Samurai, we’re fresh off a rewatch and I even got the original script from one of my contacts!” Maya chirped into her microphone.
“Doubtless he will remain nameless so as to not get him into any undue trouble.” Edgeworth responded.
How Maya Fey had managed to get him to record a Steel Samurai retrospective podcast with her would remain forever a mystery to him. But he had agreed and he was not one to back out at the last moment.
“Uh duh Edgeworth, that’s why I didn’t say his name.”
“Verily.”
“Anyways we should jump straight in! I think this is a really good introduction to the Steel Samurai! We see a lot of little character details that make Steel feel so much more fleshed out than most characters in their pilot appearance.”
“I agree wholeheartedly. We see from the very first scene Steel is both humble and furtive, avoiding the Quartz Queen’s questions about his motives. He also uses his signature feinting technique in the very first fight.”
Maya waves her hands excitedly.
“Yes like people say when he shows up in Nickel Samurai he’s out of character for refusing to tell Nickel what happened since his last appearance but like he’s always been like that. Oh and that feigning is such a fun part of his character it's like bluffing but in a real battle.”
Edgeworth nodded in agreement.
“This episode also does a good job of establishing a motive for him for the rest of this series in finding and getting revenge on the Metalman that killed his mentor.”
Maya pauses, her face all screwed up from trying to stay agreeable.
“Yes Ms. Fey?”
“Ugh I’m sorry I hate the way his motive is treated here.” She deflates. “They totally fridge the Quartz Queen just to give Steel his motivation when in episode six we get a perfectly good alternate explanation. Maybe it would've worked if she was only out cold or she came back in more flashbacks, you know, had some kind of presence but as is, the only girl in this episode dies to further a man’s character arc.”
“I do see how that can be read as problematic nowadays, and likely explains my sister’s complete lack of interest after I showed her this episode. Now that I think about it I really consider the Steel Samurai’s primary motivation to be love, but this reads more as anger or vengeance.”
“Okay and speaking of that scene I also feel like what causes injury to a Metalman is just really poorly established. We don’t get the explanation that the only thing that can harm a Metalman is the weapon of another Metalman until the next episode when the Dark Messenger is introduced. So it’s confusing how the Quartz Queen dies, like instantly and the Purple Pain has a whole thing.”
“Honestly I feel the idea of a Metalman in general could have been expounded upon. I understand they only have eleven minutes at their disposal but still. How hard is it to explain they exist in a state of partial humanity and partial robothood.” Edgeworth agreed.
“At least got the important mechanics down and in a pretty subtle way though. Like the viewer can infer what Servicemen are pretty easily and while nuances of the clan and title systems aren’t gone into detail on they both get a namedrop.”
They hit a lull in conversation before Maya exploded into another thought.
“Oh my god and I LOVE the Purple Pain, he is so funny!”
“Really the Purple Pain?” Edgeworth questioned.
“Uh yes! He starts on top of the world then instantly gets is butt beat by a total rookie and does a total one eighty. When he tells Steel to look at nothing omg it’s so Princess Bride coded, and what a good use of resources he’s wearing the suit of a different villain from one of the older Global Studios shows that was since abused so you get the feeling he’s experienced but not exactly skilled.”
“I think you might be reading too much into a lazy choice Miss Fey.”
“No way, look at the dent in the forehead, it almost looks like a mole and it gives just the perfect vibes.”
“If you insist, I was more impressed by the one off construction of the Quartz Queen’s costume. It’s so detailed for a character we don’t see much of, the ragged edges at her joints are so unique among this entire genre.”
“OH! Do I have a fun fact for you then! Her suit is like that because it was originally made for a gender swapped version of Samurai Summer ! She was going to be the Salt Samurai but then the… incident happened.”
“Where did you find that out? It’s not in any of the production books.”
Maya winked at him.
“You know the listeners can’t hear you winking.” Edgeworth pointed out.
“Maybe that was supposed to be a secret.” Maya pouted. “Anyway my favorite part of Quartz’s design is actually her knife, no spoilers in case someone wants to listen alongside their watching.”
She let out a cough that sounded suspiciously like the word Nick.
“But the Tantō dagger was a blade that was not only used for martial arts but used by women for self defense in some cases.”
“How are you beating me at fun facts?” Edgeworth asked.
“Because your head is filled with dumb stuff like laws and mine is samurai and food all the way down.”
“And girls?” He asked with an arched eyebrow.
“Yes obviously and girls, not that you would know anything about that. Anyway I think that makes Quartz’s death way more interesting even though I have my problems with it.”
“I think there’s only one thing left that I made notes about then.”
“Huh?” Maya cocked her head. “What’s that?”
“Clan Retribution of course.”
“Oh of course, of course you can find a way to work the Evil Magistrate into an episode he’s not even in.”
“I resent that, this is technically our introduction to him as well, and I think it sets up not only his but the entire clan’s motives very well. They want to maintain order and to do that they must maintain their own power. At least that’s how they see it.”
“Oh so that’s why you don’t like the Purple Pain, he’s a goober without a real motivation.”
“Precisely I though I do appreciate him for introducing us to the philosophy of Clan Retribution and the slightly revolutionary themes of this work by extension.”
Maya eyed him suspiciously ensuring he didn’t spoil too much but he seemed to be just vague enough to sate her.
“Alright if that’s it then bye and thank you for listening to Steel Scrutiny: featuring Maya and Miles!”
Maya ended the recording and looked up to see Edgeworth giving her a strange look.
“Uh Edgeworth?”
“Sorry Miss Fey, I’m just not used to hearing you call me by my first name.”
“Oh uh I can retake that outro if that’s not okay, I just figured since we have that alliteration thing going on it would be fun.”
“Oh no don’t worry about it, it just caught me a bit off guard is all.” He spoke awkwardly.
“Alright as long as you’re okay with it… Miles.” She tested.
“Yes it should be perfectly alright.” He said with more confidence.