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Newt surveyed the maze doors as Minho entered the Glade, doubling over and panting. Thomas followed him a few moments after and helped him up, continuing his run towards the map room. Newt followed them with his eyes until they were out of sight.
A small spike of jealousy lit up inside of him. How he wished to have a normal job, a track-hoe, a builder, something with less stress. Ever since Alby got stung, he had taken charge of the Glade and stepped up as the role of leader. At the time, it seemed like the only reasonable idea but now, the weight of responsibility crushed him, forcing his shoulders down.
All day, every day, he had to sort out petty problems. An argument over sleeping arrangements, questions about medical supplies, an injured builder. He also had to deal with Alby and the girl too. Moments where he could just sit down and breathe were rare and hard to come by.
Right now, hidden away under the shade of a tree, Newt laid back and closed his eyes. Over the three years he had spent trapped, the Glade had worn him down. It wasn’t like being stressed and exhausted was a new thing, Newt had struggled far more than any of the other Gladers since the beginning.
Newt winced as he moved his bum leg, the scarred flesh and the phantom pains were an endless reminder of what he had failed to do. He was lost in a whirl of dark thoughts when someone broke the fragile silence.
“Newt?”
Thomas was standing a few metres away looking awkward with his hands fidgeting with the hem of his shirt.
Newt opened one of his eyes lazily.
“What do you want?” His voice came out harsher than he intended but he wasn’t pleased that his tranquil moment had been shattered. However, deep down, he was slightly grateful for the intrusion. It was often hard for him to pull himself out of his melancholy thoughts alone.
Thomas flinched at the rough words but kept his composure.
“Just wondering if you needed company?”
Thomas’s voice was small, as if worried that he’d annoyed Newt.
“But I can go if you don’t-“
“Sure.” Newt hummed and shut his eyes again.
He heard soft footsteps and the rustling of grass as Thomas crept towards him. He felt the soft, casual brush of a hand as Thomas sat down beside him, close. There was a lot of space in the shade around them but Thomas had chosen to sit directly newt to Newt, their skin against each others. Newt didn’t mind.
If anything, he was glad. Half of him was expecting that Thomas would start spewing out radical ideas on how to escape the Maze or a worried question about the girl, but he was silent.
“How’s your day been?” Newt eventually murmured. Thomas was caught off guard by the question but shrugged.
“Alright. Shucking tired though.” He groaned and stretched his arms out. Newt squinted and looked at Thomas amusedly.
“Getting used to the Glader slang then eh?”
Thomas turned to him with a small smile,
“I guess. How’s your day?”
Newt hummed thoughtfully.
“Okay. It’s irritating though, having to act like a strong leader that everyone’s supposed to look up to, not my strong suit.”
Thomas frowned lightly,
“You lead so naturally though. People listen when you talk, they respect you, I wish I had that kind of effect.”
Thomas looked at the ground solemnly but Newt just scoffed.
“Tommy, even though they don’t act like it, a lot of the people here would follow you anywhere. I know I would.”
Newt looked up at the tree above them but but his lip. He hadn’t meant to say the last line out loud. Luckily, Thomas didn’t seem to notice.
“They’d follow you too.”
Newt sighed, rubbing the back of his head,
“But it’s different with me, you know that.” He paused, grappling with what to say.
“They’ve known me longer. I’ve been here from the start. Ably, who is an influential and strong leader, chose me as his second. That’s why people look up at me.”
He turned to Thomas with a small smile.
“And you? Shuck it. You are the newest Greenie and yet you’ve changed so much about our life, you’ve sparked hope in us. You hearing me? You’ve given us hope Tommy. That’s more than enough to keep us going.”
Thomas’s eyes widened at the speech.
“I’m not really the newest anymore.” Was all he could respond with.
Newt chuckled quietly,
“I suppose not.”
They went back to silence but all tension between them had disappeared. The sound of distant chatter and the leaves above them rustling, the synchronised, even breaths they were both taking, everything was peaceful.
Sadly, their shared moment was interrupted by Clint, a medjack, who looked as if he had seen a ghost.
“Newt?”
“Bloody hell,”
Newt jumped, spooked by the sudden intrusion,
“what is it?”
“Alby. He’s asking for you. And…”
Clint’s voice trailed off but his eyes darted to Thomas and Newt felt a lump form in his throat.
“Right, we’re coming.”
Clint darted off and Newt stood, stretching, then helped Thomas to his feet. Together, they rushed towards the Homestead. Inside, the sounds of yells echoed through the walls.
Newt pushed Thomas up the stairs first then stumbled after him. When they arrived in the medical wing, the chaos had died down slightly. Jeff was panting, holding Alby’s arms firmly against his chest, Cliff was rummaging through medicines and Alby was grunting angrily.
Slowly, Alby’s bloodshot eyes fixated on Thomas and he emitted a low growl,
“You.”
Newt felt a sudden urge of defensiveness wash over him and he took a step forwards, shielding Thomas with his arm.
“Alby what’s going on?”
Alby didn’t look away from Thomas but his breathing calmed down.
“It’s him. I…I remember him.”
Thomas looked perplexed,
“What?”
Newt glanced between the boys, confused and angry,
“What do you remember about him? Is it bad? It must be because you’re acting like a bloody animal.”
A flash of hurt crossed Alby’s face but his expression turned stone cold.
“I d..don’t know. But he’s bad, he’s bad,” Alby muttered the words as he sunk back into his bed, his eyes flickering shut. Jeff cautiously pulled away from Alby and stared at Newt.
“He just woke up and started yelling for Thomas and you. He said he wanted to tell you something.”
“And that was it?” Newt crossed his arms, irritation evident in his voice.
“I don’t know man. We’re trying our best with him.” Jeff threw his arms up in the air and grumbled. Newt huffed and turned towards the door,
“Tommy.”
He ordered the boy to follow him.
“Thomas.”
A weak voice echoed him. Thomas didn’t move from Alby’s side as the bedridden boy softly called out to him.
“I need to speak with Thomas. Alone.”
Newt could feel Alby’s eyes on him as he said the word alone. Newt grimaced, he didn’t have a good feeling about this.
“Alby you were screaming bloody murder at him a couple seconds ago and now you want a friendly chat?”
He glared at Alby but he held no anger at his friend, just exasperation for his delirious state.
Alby’s tone hardened,
“I said alone. Get out, the lot of you.”
Clint and Jeff did as they were instructed but Newt lingered. He didn’t want to leave Thomas alone with Alby, who was fierce and unpredictable, but a part of him was glad to see Alby acting slightly like his bossy old self again.
“I’ll be outside Tommy.”
Newt backed away and shut the door.
Alby and Thomas spoke quietly so Newt paced the corridor, upset that he couldn’t hear what they were saying. It wasn’t like he was jealous, just that he wanted insight on important matters, especially because he had stepped up as the leader. Every second stretched on for ages and Newt was at his wits end.
Just as he was about to finally sit down, a yelp came from inside the room.
“Newt!”
Thomas’s pained cry shouted for him and Newt flew to the door in an instant. He smashed it open and was shocked to see Alby’s hands gripping Thomas’s collar and choking him. Newt dived forwards and grabbed Thomas’s collar too, ripping away Alby’s shaking hands.
Newt shoved Alby back down in his bed and Thomas clutched Newt’s arm, his breathing ragged. Alby hissed but sanity shone back in his eyes and he frowned, staring at his hands.
“I…”
His eyes widened and his voice trembled,
“I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened-“
“Shut it shank.” Newt groaned and stepped towards the bed, a dark cloud forming over his head. Alby looked terrified and Newt felt a tremor of pity ring through him. Gently, he pulled up the bed covers over Alby’s shoulders and grimaced.
“Sleep.”
Alby nodded and curled up. Looking at him now, you could never of guessed that he had recently tried to strangle someone.
Newt took Thomas’s wrist and dragged him out of the room. Clint and Jeff stood nervously in the doorway but Newt barrelled past them,
“Leave him be.”
Newt pulled Thomas through the homestead until they found a dark corner out of earshot from anybody.
“Speak.”
Thomas looked at the floor.
“He told me to cut my act and that he saw me working for, no, with W.C.K.D.”
Newt paused,
“W.C.K.D? Like the thing that’s stamped on our supply boxes?”
“Yeah. Apparently they sent us here and I was one of them. Am…”
Thomas looked as if he wanted to say more but bit his tongue.
Newt scowled,
“Continue?”
Thomas didn’t dare meet his eyes, finding the wall beside them suddenly very interesting.
“Am I a bad person?”
Well that wasn’t what Newt was expecting. He didn’t respond for a few moments and Thomas’s face scrunched up with hurt.
“No,”
He said gently,
“no, not at all. None of this is your fault so stop being shucking miserable .”
“But Alby, Ben and Gally all-“
“Don’t listen to those slintheads, they are all half klunked out of their minds. You are not a bad person.”
Newt’s voice was stern and commanding but he could tell Thomas still had doubts.
“Remember what I told you? You are our source of hope so don’t mope around as if a Griever just bit your arse and pick yourself up, okay?”
Thomas nodded and Newt patted him on the back,
“Good that.”
Forcing his feet to move, Newt left the Homestead.
For the rest of the day, Newt relented into his duties and assisted the Gladers with their various tasks. Finally, as the moon shone brightly in the sky, he retreated into the Deadheads. The day had been especially busy and he just wanted to cry. He wasn’t sad or hurt, just overwhelmed. How did Alby do it? How could Alby lead well and not him?
Newt forced his tears down and leant against a tree, looking up at the sky. He wasn’t good enough, that was the answer. Alby had been in control of the Glade almost since the start, sorting out every issue no matter how big or small. Now, Alby was unable to work and Newt could barely keep himself together trying to help out.
Footsteps yet again broke his peace and Newt was startled, quickly wiping away any stay tears that might’ve fallen from his eyes as he wallowed in self pity.
“Who is it?”
There was no rushed reply but a voice answered him slowly,
“Thomas.”
Newt stopped wiping his face and looked up at his friend.
Thomas looked concerned and he crouched down slowly in front of Newt.
“Is everything alright?”
Newt ignored him, staring at the floor angrily.
“Newt?”
“I’m fine. Go away.”
Thomas didn’t listen.
“Are you okay?”
Newt reached his snapping point.
“Do I look okay to you? Of course I bloody don’t. You got your answer now leave.”
“No.”
“..Huh?”
Newt was taken aback by Thomas’s plain answer. A smile tugged at Thomas’s lips and he shrugged,
“No.”
Newt groaned, pulling his knees up to his chest and hanging his head. Thomas sat down and crossed his legs, staring at Newt expectantly.
“You ask another shucking question and I’ll strangle you.” He huffed.
Thomas smirked in response,
“Don’t threaten me with a good time.”
However, his demeanour changed when he thought back to Alby’s outburst.
“Though I’d rather you didn’t.”
Newt laughed softly and Thomas watched him intently.
“What’s upsetting you?”
“I told you no questions.”
Newt glared at Thomas but his gaze softened.
“Stress.”
Thomas hummed and nodded slowly.
The boys sat facing each other, an unspoken comfort setting over them. It wasn’t common that they shared a moment alone but they had been lucky enough to enjoy each other’s presence without immediate interference twice in a day. Newt secretly cherished these moments. Thomas suddenly looked down at his hands with a frown.
“What is it?”
Newt asked, reading Thomas as if he was an open book.
“Something Alby said.”
Thomas’s brows creased,
“He told me that it was better to sit here and die than leave the Maze. Apparently, there’s not a nice welcome party waiting for us at the exit.”
Newt’s heart momentarily stopped beating and he rubbed his shin absentmindedly.
“That’s not new news.”
Newt whispered. Thomas caught the words and glanced at Newt warily.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Newt didn’t answer him and continued rubbing his leg with a troubled face.
“Newt.”
“Did I ever tell you…how I broke my leg?”
Thomas shook his head,
“You haven’t, no.”
“Hm.” Newt stopped and leant his head back against the tree behind him, not daring to meet Thomas’s gaze.
“It was back when I first arrived here..”
Memories flashed past Newt’s eyes in a haze.
“Me and a few of the guys woke up here, no clue who we were, no clue where we were,”
Thomas nodded along,
“but I felt so…empty. I understand that I wasn’t the only one but the feeling of missing something I couldn’t place, it was undeniable.”
“I was in a dark place Tommy.”
Newt choked back a sob and steadied his breathing,
“I decided to join the runners, I wanted to get out of here fast. But time passed and we had no answers. The feeling of emptiness just kept growing.”
Newt looked Thomas dead in the eyes,
“So one day, I woke up early, before anyone else, and ran into the maze as soon as it opened. I ran and ran until I found the tallest wall around. Then, I began to climb.”
A bitter taste filled Thomas’s mouth as he remembered what he had said to Newt before.
“Why don’t you just climb up the walls?”
And Newt’s response,
“Tried that.”
Newt continued even though Thomas already knew where the story was going.
“I got as far as I could but noticed a buggin’ Beetle Blade had followed me up.”
“The thing was a reminder of my prison so I talked to it, some stupid final words, then I jumped.”
A silence fell upon the boys.
“Of course I got tangled up in the ivy like a proper shank,”
Newt chuckled,
“snapped my leg in three different places. But then, Minho found me.”
Thomas could only imagine what Minho felt like, seeing Newt crumpled up on the floor in agony,
“He carried me back here before the walls closed and covered for me, but I think Alby knew the truth. He’s always been able to see through people.”
Thomas looked at the scars on Newt’s leg, a new understanding of his friend’s predicament filling his brain.
“Ever since then, Alby looked after me I guess. Gave me the job of second in command and his assistant. Seeing him in pain hurts me deeply Tommy. And what he said to you…yeah.”
Newt didn’t have to finish his sentence for Thomas to understand him.
“Back to my original point,”
Newt sat up straight,
“we’ve all thought of getting out of here one way or another. It’s just, not that easy, you get it?”
Instead of answering with words, Thomas smiled softly.
Carefully, he reached his hand out and wiped away the tears that were rolling down Newt’s face that he had been oblivious to. Newt froze due to the unexpected contact but laughed quietly.
“I’m pathetic.”
“You’re really not.”
Thomas kept his hand on Newt’s cheek for a little longer before reluctantly pulling away.
Newt sorely missed the small act of affection but didn’t mention it.
“So now you know, I’m not your ‘noble’ and ‘strong’ leader that you thought I was.”
“I still think you are. Hell, you’re stronger than all of us combined.”
Thomas grinned and Newt felt his pulse quicken. Something about Thomas always made him feel nervous, but not in a scared way.
He felt butterflies in his stomach- was that normal? He didn’t feel like that when Minho or Alby smiled at him, just Thomas. Newt returned the expression and he saw Thomas’s eyes light up.
“Glad to see you looking happier.”
“You’re an idiot.”