Chapter Text
It was a normal day in liyue. I was working as a pharmacist, just doing normal pharmacist things…until I overheard some of my co-workers talking shit about me. Like how weak, and pathetic Chou is, and that I probably wouldn't last a day in the fatui. And man, that angered me, like I swear I could feel my blood boiling.
Anyway, here's the thing about me, I'm really petty, so I did what any sane person would do and joined the fatui.
It was the best plan I ever came up with. Oh, and yes, I'm talking to you, reader. Never thought i'll break the 4th wall, did ya. Anyway, back to what I was talking about, after joining the fatui just to prove a point, I had to train for 5 FREAKING MONTHS! And finally, I got promoted and was now working for one of the fatui harbinger.
I was so happy I proved my previous co-workers wrong. But I also regretted it as I was placed under the fatui harbinger Scaramouche. One of the most annoying, angry bitches, I have ever talked to.
I was in the camp moving crates doing my job until. “Kid! What the hell are you doing!” someone yelled at me from behind.
I immediately knew who it was because the only one who calls a 26 year old a kid is scaramouche. I turned around to face him and frowned as he stomped over to me, looking like an angry short kid, about to throw a tantrum. He then started to yell at me for not doing my job correctly when I was pretty sure I was the only one actually doing it correctly.
He yelled repeatedly at me like some child. Just then without thinking i chuckle, when i realized it was too late an- SLAP! I fell to the ground and looked up at him. “You DARE look at ME and laugh!” Scaramouche yelled.
This fucking twink just slapped ME! You know what that means. Time to write a long list of jokes. about him just so we're clear.
“Sorry my lord, it won't happen again” I said, putting on my best acting skills.
“It better not! you're lucky I'm feeling merciful today. Filthy mordel.” Scaramouche sighed, looking down at me with disgust. After a few minutes of silence and unbreaking eye contact, he walks past me saying his final words. “Next time do your job right.” He gave me a stern look and left.
After Scaramouche left, this random girl rushed over to me and helped me up. “Are you ok!” the random girl shouted.
“If I'm not ok I'll be crying, but I'm not crying, so i'm ok.” the girl gave me a confused look as I got up from the ground.
“ You should be more careful around him. He has a short temper, you know.” She then gave me a concerned look.
“My name is Anastasia, by the way.” She smiled brightly.
“Mines Chou” I said a bit awkwardly.
Well shit what now. Do I say something, if yes then what? This silence is unbearable. I need to break it but how?
Anastasia thankfully broke the silence “hey do you think you could help bring some crates to the storage room”.
YES! Finally something to do “yeah sure i'll help” i smiled widely.
“Great!” she clapped her hands together and smiled.
Me and Anastasia then started to carry the crates into the Zapolyarny Palace, finally out of the cold, and once we were inside we headed straight for the storage room. When we arrived I noticed how big the storage room was, I actually thought it of been smaller.
We walked over to put the crates down and someone caught my eye. A tall man with light blue hair.
A mischievous smirk then appeared on my face and I started to walk over to him. Anastasia then gave me a horrified look but I don't see what the big deal is, I mean it's just a guy.
I then approached him “ What's up, your average everyday super villain?” I smirked
He crossed his arms and gave me an annoyed and confused look before answering “what did you just call me?”
“Let's not focus on that, shall we? Anyway, do you wanna hear a bunch of jokes I made about Scaramouche or not?”
The man blinked a few times “if I say yes would you go away after?”
I smiled and nodded, the man shrugged “then fine, but if he hears you making jokes about him the your on your own”
“fine with me, Scaramouche will always be angry because he can never reach happiness, life is short, so is Scaramouche.” I then continued to tell my jokes.
Scaramouche pov
Scaramouche walks through the door and is immediately caught by the sound of laughter. He turns his head and sees Chou and Dottore laughing their ass's off.
Why the hell is dottore laughing and with her of all people? He then stormed over to them angry burning in his guts.
“What's going on over here!” He yelled.
Dottore and Chou stop and look at Scaramouche and then each other and burst out laughing.
Scaramouche blinked with confusion and then anger “what's so Goddamn funny!" he yelled.
Dottore then looked at him still laughing “she has a whole list of jokes about you! And they're funny as heck!”
His head snapped to look at Chou steam coming out of his head.
Chou then immediately looked at Dottore with betrayal all over her face.“You snitch!” she then bolted out of the storage room dottore laughing behind her.
He then chased after her, how dare she! He was going to kill her!
After Scaramouche chased me for an hour, he finally gave up…for now. After running i then headed to the sleeping quarters and saw Anastasia.
Anastasia ran up to me with a worried look on her face.”you were gone for and hour where were you!?”
“I'm been busy trying not to die by Scaramouche” I sighed.
“he's been chasing you for an hour!” She was shocked “How did you escape?”
“He gave up on chasing me.” I shrugged.
She looked confused “He gave up on chasing you just like that?”
“Yup, what can I say I'm fast.” I lifted my head up proudly.
“Well, Good night.” Anastasia turned to go to bed but then said “don't die.” she smiled and closed the door behind her.
“Good night and don't die too.” I then shut the door and flopped on my bed, not bothering to change into my pajamas.
I then blew out my candle and fell asleep.