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Gemini loves Fourth. Gemini is head over heels for Fourth, and he has been like that for a long time. Every time, when Fourth publicly proposes to him to start dating, Gemini's heart skips a beat, but he knows that it’s just a joke. Fourth never took him seriously. They are, of course, close, really close, but Fourth Nattawat just is the way he is — easy-going, friendly, flirting with everyone. And Gemini too just the way he is — unrequitedly, deeply, and secretly in love with Fourth.
"There’s only one person in my heart. It’s... Phuwin," Fourth joked playfully, as always, in front of the audience, and Gemini tiredly leaned back in his chair and twirled his fingers at his temples. He knew, he knew, that these words were just for fun, nothing more, but it hurt him like hell to hear this.
Gemini just wants to scream out of hopelessness. Everyone around jokes that they are a couple, everyone ships them, but this isn't funny anymore for Gemini at all. He is torn apart, his soul is in agony, and tears form in the corners of his eyes with each such joke, because he is probably the only one who sincerely wishes for this to be true.
"But Fourth shouldn't know. Fourth must never know," Gemini said with a sad smile to himself, lying on his bed, hands behind his head. His life felt like a damn drama, sadder than any series he’d been in. All he could do was putting his feelings into music to simply vent these complicated emotions.
"The more I get closer,
You seem to float away further.
If one day I can’t hold it in,
Don’t be mad if I catch feelings for you"
Gemini sang this lyrics with all the tenderness. And he wanted to shout these words to the whole world, he wanted them to be imprinted inside of Fourth’s mind and heart, so that he would think the same way.
Gemini genuinely loves touching Fourth, he loves it when Nattawat automatically intertwines his fingers with his. He loves how Fourth rests his head on Gemini's shoulder from exhaustion when they are alone. In those moments Fourth looks like a cuddly cat hungry for affection. And Gemini starts to feel like this kind of Fourth is meant only for him. These tender moments even make him to think that maybe, maybe... if he waits a little bit longer, he will be able to make Fourth his.
But disappointment comes every time Gemini sees Fourth among their Phi and friends. "I’m not special..." Gemini thinks tiredly, watching Fourth embrace other actors.
Sometimes, Gemini even feels like Fourth suspects something, and it scares him genuinely. Once, Mark asked Fourth at event: "What will you do if Gemini really falls in love with you?". And Fourth just like usual himself just waved it off, but a hint of fear flickering in his eyes. At that moment, Gemini went through an emotional rollercoaster: first, there was a fear that he'd been exposed, then he felt an impatient anticipation, and finally - quiet sadness and understanding that things would never be the way he wanted them to be.
Sometimes, Gemini felt like he'd absorbed the emotions of his character Tinn along with the hours spent on set. Sometimes, it even felt like these weren't his feelings at all, that he made it all up, that it was all the shippers’ fault, not his.
And then, Fourth opens a bottle of water for him again, asks how he feels after shooting with genuine caring, and... smiles. And Gemini wants to glue that damn smile of him to his forehead so that it stays with him forever, he wants to engrave Fourth’s name under his skin (though it’s already there). He wants to make Fourth only his, to make his brightness, warmth, and light only for him.
But all Gemini could do was writing lyrics about his absorbing love, joking with the y-girls and sadly gazing at the stars in the sky with a dream that someday in the night eternal canvas would appear a star with their mutual love written on it.
***
"I've tried to resist, to resist. But it’s not easy, not a bit, not a bit. I wanna be just a friend...", Gemini softly hummed to himself as they were heading to their hotel in Japan. Honestly, Gemini was simply scared. Three nights in the same room alone with Fourth... How he even would handle it?
It was becoming harder and harder for Gemini to hide his feelings day by day. No matter how much he tried, he couldn’t hide them deep in his heart. They were absorbing him, sinking so deep inside of his gut. The more solid a dam he tried to build in his soul, the stronger the flow of his secret feelings broke through.
When actors arrived at the hotel after their walk, the mutual decision was to have a drink before bed. Of course, they couldn’t get too drunk, since tomorrow would bring the first performances, including Gemini’s, but youth is youth. When else would they have a chance to let loose in Japan, if not now?
The street was already covered by the quiet night. The world seemed to frozen with this soft darkness. But in the huge room, actors were far from quiet, loudly discussing something and sipping beer. Fourth’s cheeks were already flushed and his eyes were full of joy with a slight intoxication. He murmured something in Phuwin’s ear, then both of them laughed loudly and playfully shoved each other. Judging by the way they acted, both of them felt shy and amused by this joke.
Gemini shot them a tense glance and quickly drained his glass. He was trying to control himself, of course. He also wasn’t a fool, it was obvious that Fourth was just messing around with Phuwin, and Phuwin, in turn, wasn’t taking it seriously. But it was still his Fourth. His tipsy, red-cheeked, messy-haired Fourth, smiling with that damn drunk and slightly lewd smile at everyone around (except Gemini of course).
Gemini couldn’t stand watching it anymore. He trembled with anger and quiet sadness, his jaw clenched, and his fists were tight. He suddenly stood up, nonchalantly threw out, "I’m going to the bathroom," and then quickly left the room.
Norawit hurriedly went downstairs without even grabbing his jacket and sat down on a bench in the yard. He rested his hand under his cheek and looked up at the moon, exhaling puffs of breath. The air was cold and tickled Gemini’s throat. He shifted in place to warm up a bit, but he still felt good that he had refreshed himself and cleared his thoughts even slightly.
Suddenly, Gemini felt a warm touch on his shoulder, making him flinch and quickly turn his head to the right. Fourth was sitting next to him in a denim jacket. At first, he frowned, but then, catching Gemini's gaze, he smiled faintly.
"What are you doing here? Why aren't you with the others?" Gemini hoarsely said, his teeth chattering from the cold.
"Let's go back, your teeth are already chattering," Fourth said with genuine concern in his eyes, tightening his grip on Gemini’s shoulder. "And actually, I should be asking you what you’re doing out here alone in the cold. I happened to see you through the window. Why are you sitting out here by yourself? Are you feeling sick?"
Gemini winced. Not again... Why did Fourth act like this with him? Why did he look at him with such care in his big dark eyes? Why didn't he just leave him alone?
"It’s nothing..." Gemini muttered to himself. "Go back, I wanna be alone."
"No way," Fourth shook his head. "If I leave you here, you’ll get sick. You’ve got a performance tomorrow, don’t you remember?"
"I want to be alone," Gemini enunciated each word with clear irritation in his voice and turned away because he couldn’t stand the deep concerned look in Fourth’s eyes anymore.
"What’s wrong, Gem?" Fourth asked softly and quietly, unlike his usual self. "What’s bothering you? You know, you can share with me anything."
"It’s nothing," Gemini replied calmly, trying to hide the bitterness in his voice. "Nothing, really."
"Gem, we've known each other for years, look at me."
Gemini obediently turned his head to Fourth. He could never resist him. He wanted to cry at the look in Fourth’s eyes because he seemed so genuinely worried. When Fourth acted like this, when he wasn’t joking or messing around, Gemini wanted to hide somewhere, just to not be under the gaze of his eyes.
"Gem, I can see something's bothering you. You can share it with me," Fourth repeated his previous words softly. "I know you're the type of guy who keeps everything to himself, but we’re friends and partners for God knows how long. Just trust me," Fourth placed his hand on Gemini’s knee and squeezed it slightly.
Gemini felt the skin under his touch heat up with fire. Fourth's touch made his stomach twist and his heart race. Norawit didn’t even know how to respond.
"Unfortunately, not everything I can tell you, Fourth," Gemini said with a sad smile.
"Why?" Fourth asked sincerely surprised, tightening his grip on Gemini’s knee. "You know I won’t judge you."
"Fourth..." Gemini exhaled, "Stop... this." He shifted his gaze to his knee, where Fourth’s hand rested.
"What ‘this’?" Fourth asked, catching Gemini’s gaze, his voice suddenly hoarse.
Gemini was about to scream. He was running out of strength, he wasn't the strongest soldier after all. What game was Fourth playing?
"It’s nothing," Gemini lowered his voice. "It’s nothing..."
"What are you thinking about, Gemini?" Fourth’s voice was too languorous, too personal, as if he was trying to convey something through it.
"Do you really want to know?" Gemini asked, nervously smiling.
"Yes," Fourth nodded and looked intently at him.
Gemini leaned his face closer to Fourth's and didn’t look away from his deep dark eyes, which seemed to be even darker than night itself. He tried to say everything that had been building up inside him with just his gaze. He tried to finally pour out his feelings, to explain to Fourth what he felt for him just by looking at his eyes. He felt then Fourth’s uneven breath on his cheeks, and Fourth looked at him with squinted eyes, thinking about something of his own, something he couldn’t bring himself to say.
"Don’t you understand?" Gemini whispered, afraid of ruining the moment between them with the loud voice.
"Gem, I..." Fourth murmured back, "I..."
Abruptly, Fourth touched Gemini’s lips with his thumb, tracing their outline, and stared at them. What was he even thinking about? He had seen these lips a thousand times before and even kissed them during filming. But now... now everything seemed different. Suddenly, Fourth closed the distance between them, and with his eyes closed, touched Gemini’s lips with his own. It was just a quick and soft peck which, however, made everything inside of Gemini turned inside out, and his heart almost stopped racing. Then, as if burned, Fourth pulled back, jumped up, and quickly ran off somewhere.
That night Fourth didn't return to their room.
***
Gemini opened his eyes and tried to focus his vision. The coldness of the hotel room surrounded him and he quickly turned his head to the right. The opposite bed was unmade and empty. He gently pressed his fingertips to his lips. "I-it was just a dream, right? Or did I imagine it because of the alcohol?" he thought anxiously. "But if is it so, why isn’t Fourth here?"
A light blush appeared on his cheeks, and he suddenly felt very warm. He still felt the faint touch of Fourth's lips on his, and they burned, while a real fire raged in his chest.
Gemini hugged his knees and rocked back and forth, trying to make sense of where the boundary between reality and his dreams lay. However, everything that had happened was so vivid in his mind that it didn’t feel like a dream at all. "Maybe he is... too...?" — the thought hung in the air, and Gemini couldn’t bring himself to finish it.
He was scared, truly scared, to look at Fourth's eyes again. He couldn’t imagine how he would behave with him now. Friends don’t do things like this. Friends can’t be this close.
Gemini had a concert scheduled for the day, so he tried to pull himself together, piece by piece. "At least I won’t see him until the evening," he exhaled quietly to himself. He was overwhelmed with so many feelings at once: confusion, hope, quiet sadness, and embarrassment.
But Gemini Norawit was a professional after all, so he hurried to wash up and get ready for soundcheck. Honestly, though, Gemini desperately wanted to see Fourth — to look into his big, beautiful eyes, to see his bright, supportive smile, and most importantly, to understand what Fourth really felt for him.
The day passed quickly. Gemini became so absorbed in the concert that he nearly forgot about all his troubling thoughts. He felt a little sad that Fourth wasn’t with him, but he tried not to dwell on it for too long, allowing himself to just live in the moment.
But as the evening approached, their Phi invited everyone to go out together, and Gemini didn’t want to decline. Still, he knew he would have to face his fear head-on. More specifically, he would face Fourth. His palms began to sweat, his hands trembled, and his throat dried up just thinking about it.
Gemini was walking with the older members when he bumped into the rest of the group, and there was Fourth among them. Gemini awkwardly cleared his throat and looked directly at him. Nattawat, as always, flashed a bright, sunny smile and laughed. It didn’t seem like he was worried at all.
"Hey… Fourth," Gemini greeted, nervously waving his hand.
"Hi, Gemini! How was the concert?" Fourth asked casually, smiling.
"It… it was good," Gemini replied awkwardly, quickly averting his gaze.
However, Fourth didn’t linger on him and soon turned to one of the Phi, discussing their performances. Gemini was hit by a whole cocktail of emotions — he simmered with anger and helplessness, sadness engulfed him, but at the same time, he somehow felt something like relief. "Did it mean nothing to him? So, things like this are just normal for him? Or was he too drunk to even remember?" Gemini's mind was filled with anxious thoughts. He lowered his gaze, his expression heavy with confusion.
"Gemini, are you okay?" Force called from behind, looking at him intently.
"Yeah, I’m fine, Phi', just a little tired after the performance," Gemini waved his hands awkwardly, to which Force simply nodded understandingly and went over to join the others.
Gemini exhaled in relief, grateful to have avoided unnecessary questions. But it seemed like he needed some time alone to think things through. So, he said his goodbyes and returned to his hotel room, picked up his guitar, and began pouring his stormy emotions into rhymes. He scribbled quickly and urgently across the paper, as though possessed by inner demons, while the room was filled with melancholy melodies.
It was already past 1 AM, but Fourth still hadn’t returned. Gemini restlessly spread out his bed and lay down, overwhelmed by a million thoughts. He couldn’t fall asleep for a long time, until finally, exhaustion led him into a restless, fragmented sleep.
The next day was a day off for both him and Fourth, but the latter still hadn’t reached out, until Joong invited them both to eat with the other actors.
To be honest, Gemini felt a little hurt by Fourth. After all, it wasn’t Gemini who made the first move to kiss. So he still couldn't understand. Could friends really be this close? Was it normal to spend all day together, constantly communicating with each other's families, hugging warmly, having meals together, and even kissing? Did Fourth do all this with everyone?
When Gemini arrived at the cozy Japanese café with its beautiful neat furniture, most of the group had already arrived and was looking over the menu. Fourth was sitting at the end, explaining something to Joong while pointing at the menu. The only available seat was next to Fourth, and Gemini, cursing every god he could think of, nervously sat next to him, offering a small wave to everyone.
"Gemini, why did you leave so early yesterday?" Fourth suddenly turned to him with a focused gaze, and frowned a little.
"Tired," Gemini replied curtly, reaching for the menu, eager to look anywhere but at Fourth’s slightly sleep-rumpled face and his still-drowsy eyes.
"Did something happen, Gem?" Fourth lowered his tone, concern evident in his voice. And for a moment, Gemini just wanted to pounce on him (with hugs or to strangle, you decide).
"Really, did something happen?" Gemini thought ironically and bitterly in his head, but he simply shook his head in response to Fourth and continued to study the menu.
Fourth placed his hand on Gemini’s knee, as he usually did when he wanted to offer his support, and silently observed Gemini’s profile.
What on earth was he thinking in that moment?
And damn this Fourth Nattawat, it was too hard for Gemini to cope with. He was too close, too close for Gemini to handle these feelings.
Then, the whole day, Fourth didn’t leave his side, behaving like a lost puppy or his little shadow, constantly trying to hug him, teasing him with little near-kisses, stroking Gemini’s hair, as if to say, “It’s okay, everything’s fine, nothing happened.”
At that moment, Gemini made a decision, though. He decided that he would act like he always had before. After all, he never planned to confess his feelings. He just wanted to be there for Fourth, to be his support and his rock. He wanted Nattawat to love him, even in different from his way, it didn’t matter how. Norawit didn’t need much, he just wanted his friend and working partner to be happy.
And so, little by little, everything was back to normal. They even did an IG live together with Phuwin. And the next day, Gemini showed up at Fourth’s concert because he simply couldn’t miss it. He wanted to swallow Fourth whole when he saw him in that outfit, looking like a marshmallow. Especially when Fourth sang "Candidate" with his velvety honey-like voice and rhythmically and perfectly honed choreography. Norawit even filmed that moment for himself, which led to widespread discussions in their fandom, comparing him to Tinn, Gemini’s character.
Yet, even on the last night, Fourth never came to sleep with him. What was he even so afraid of?
And so everything went on, as usual, until the press conference for the release of "Too close to handle", where Gemini revealed for the first time that he had a secret crush for someone.
***
After that live broadcast where Gemini confessed he was secretly in love with someone, Fourth started behaving very strangely.
They were sitting together before the GMMTV live house, and Fourth kept shifting back and forth in his chair, nervously shaking his leg. Gemini sat a little further away from him, not moving, almost not blinking, staring at one spot. Then, he noticed out of the corner of his eye a lot of movement on the right sight from him and turned his head towards Fourth. Nattawat, who had been carefully observing Gemini before, quickly looked away as soon as their eyes met. Gemini opened his mouth in surprise and tilted his head a little.
"Fourth, are you okay? Are you nervous?" Gemini asked with concern, moving closer to him.
Fourth, as if burned, jumped up and almost fell, catching himself by bracing his hands on the floor. He nervously returned to his position and sat back, straightening his back and brushing his hands off as if shaking off dust.
"I'm fine," Nattawat nodded nonchalantly, "Just... I'm curious... who do you..."
When Gemini gave him a questioning look, he abruptly stopped mid-sentence, pressing his lips together tightly.
"Who do I what?" Norawit asked, confused, tilting his head slightly again.
"Nothing, never mind, forget it," Fourth shook his head and rocked back and forth in his chair.
As soon as the live broadcast started, Fourth immediately transformed, there was no trace of nervousness left on his face, but he still occasionally threw suspicious glances at Gemini.
And they seemed to act like usual, sending each other air kisses, fooling around, competing. It seemed like nothing had changed. But when it came time to perform "Too close to handle", Gemini noticed the tension in Fourth's gaze.
Throughout the entire song, it seemed like Nattawat couldn’t stop being nervous. He gripped the microphone tightly, holding it near his mouth to avoid missing his part. He kept throwing quick glances at Gemini, then hurriedly looked away. At the end, he once again sang, "Don’t be mad if I can’t hold back my feelings for Gem." Norawit knew that it was all just for the fans and not that serious, but he couldn’t stop smiling when he heard it. After all, he’d always dreamed that Fourth would say something like that to him.
Before they performed "Candidate", Fourth said, "I presented this song for someone who is still searching for their love, who is trying to approach someone. And for that person there will be many options to choose from." While saying these words Fourth couldn’t stop looking at Gemini. The latter even blushed a little at the intensity of his partner’s gaze, trying to understand what Fourth was trying to tell him.
After the live show, Fourth returned to his usual state, never mentioning what he had wanted to ask about before. Gemini still couldn’t figure out what was troubling Nattawat, what mixed signals he was constantly trying to send him.
However, something had changed in Fourth's behavior. He started promoting the hashtag #PhuwinFourth and this ghost-ship in general. Gemini genuinely didn’t understand why Fourth had suddenly decided to do that. It wasn’t that it seemed wrong to him, but to be honest, he was clearly jealous.
Gemini tried not to show it. After all, they were professionals, and surely Fourth didn’t mean anything by it. Phuwin was a good friend of his, they spent time together with Fourth (sadly, more often than Gemini would have liked). Sometimes, Gemini would unknowingly show his jealousy. For instance, when he wanted to take a picture with Fourth similar to one he had with Phuwin, because seeing #PhuwinFourth trending was starting to hurt him a little. After all, their official ship was almost the only one thing where Fourth truly belonged to him, Gemini. And Norawit didn’t want to lose that.
Everything was going as usual until Gemini eventually got tired of it all. After all, the image of that disheveled, drunken Fourth, reaching out to kiss him, kept haunting him. Gemini wanted to forget it, but he couldn’t.
Sure, they kissed again during the filming of "My love Mix-up", but it felt completely different, it was just work after all, and Gemini saw himself and Fourth only as characters in that moment.
When Fourth joked during an IG live about how Gemini and Phuwin were competing for his heart, that was the last straw for Norawit.
Gemini hadn’t planned anything for real. They were backstage, as usual, waiting for the event, cheering each other up with warm words, fooling around, but Gemini was internally on edge and couldn’t help it. After Fourth mentioned Phuwin again and then quickly changed the subject, Gemini unexpectedly blurted out, "Fourth, I like you."
Fourth looked at him with pure shock in his eyes and froze. Saying things like that wasn’t unusual for them, but it usually happened in public, in front of the fans. And Nattawat would have turned it into a joke, as usual, if it weren’t for the serious expression on Gemini’s face when he was saying those words. Just four words, "Fourth, I like you." And nothing more. Take it whatever you want.
Fourth had just opened his mouth to say something when a loud call came through that it was time for them to go on stage. Neither of them had a chance to fully process what had just happened.
Throughout the entire event, they both felt incredibly awkward with each other. The usually noisy Fourth, who constantly suggested Gemini to be his boyfriend, fidgeted in his seat, avoided eye contact, and smiled sheepishly. When he had to say the scripted line about how he loved Gemini, he barely managed to get it out, then awkwardly laughed.
When Gemini tried to feed Fourth, his ever-noisy and restless flirtatious his partner, he awkwardly declined, asking him not to be "so obvious," which made Gemini blush just as much as Nattawat did. He knew exactly what Fourth meant by that.
At some point, Fourth even told the audience about what had happened backstage. Gemini was so shocked by this that for a moment he froze, then awkwardly looked around, trying to find somewhere to put his gaze. He also felt a deep sadness as he thought that Fourth for sure must have taken his confession as just another joke.
However, something felt different this time. Fourth smiled shyly, nervously tapping his foot, rocking back and forth as he spoke. His voice was quiet and uncertain. It seemed like, for him, this wasn’t just another joke after all.
***
"Gem, can we talk?"
The Bonchon event had ended, and Gemini was quickly moving forward, but Fourth grabbed his hand. Slowly, like a cautious cat, Gemini turned toward him, lowering his gaze, and then responded, "About what?"
"About what you said to me before the event," Fourth's voice had no trace of a smile. For the first time, it seemed like he wasn't joking at all. "Was you serious about that?"
Gemini was already about to brush it off, to say that he was just playing around, that it was just his mood at the moment, that he only wanted to cheer Fourth up. But something inside of him wouldn’t let him do that. Right now, this was the moment — now or never. This was the moment when Fourth looked at him with those big, concerned eyes, and there was no hint of a joke in them. Gemini couldn't resist that piercing gaze.
"Yes..." he whispered, and didn't say anything more. Inside of him a storm of emotions raged, and he didn't know how to behave around Fourth. So many thoughts swirled chaotically in his head, so much he wanted to say, but the words simply couldn't leave his mouth.
"And how long?" It was hard to tell what Fourth was thinking about. He radiated seriousness, but nothing more. It was even unclear whether this was good news for him or not.
"Long enough..." Gemini didn't want to reveal all the details, all his struggles, all his thoughts. He wanted to remain the eternal proud person, the one who always shut down Fourth's flirtations.
"I see..." Fourth replied quietly, lowering his gaze, then looking back at Gemini. "Gem, listen... right now, I can't give you an answer. It's all so complicated... I want to figure things out for myself first. But I want you to know that you really mean a lot to me. I feel safe with you, and you're always a source of energy for me. Whatever my answer might be in the future, I just don't want you to disappear from life. I want to be with you forever and doesn't matter on which way."
Fourth smiled gently and widely, releasing Norawit's hand, which he had been holding all this time. Gemini merely nodded politely and walked away. He needed time to process that had happened. Had he really confessed? Norawit hadn't planned on this at all, he hadn't even thought about it. He had just caught the moment once, and then again... Yet now, something faint, like a flicker of hope, began to grow in his heart. After all, Fourth hadn't said "no", he had only said he needed to think. And who better than Gemini could give him that time? Honestly, Norawit could wait forever. After all, he hadn't expected anything from the start, but now... now everything was different.
The following day, they had an event at Chula University, and everything proceeded as usual. An elusive, unspoken tension hung in the air between them, but it was so subtle that they didn’t pay it much attention until April 1, 2024, arrived.
"I'm dating Gemini," Fourth announced on Twitter.
Gemini sat frozen before his phone screen, cursed by the moment, refreshing Fourth’s Twitter feed over and over, reading the line countless times. Shock flooded him. No, Norawit, of course, remembered what day it was, but considering everything that had happened between them, it sounded so...
The fanbases and their Phi were already joking along with Fourth. Some other actors even posted similar things. Twitter was filled with jokes, but Gemini didn’t find any of it funny. He sat there, nervously shaking his leg, trying to make sense of what was going on in Fourth’s mind. Gemini didn’t ask him about it, he wasn’t even sure if he wanted to know. Instead, he just went to bed.
The next morning, Norawit logged into Twitter and, as usual, started reading comments. His heart sank and he almost cried. They were tearing Fourth apart — his Fourth, caring, sunny, the kindest one, accusing him of queerbaiting, calling him the worst names, and wishing him death because of the simple joke which seemed even for him like the most harmless.
Okay, maybe that joke wasn’t entirely harmless to Gemini, considering their situation, but it was their business. It was only between him and Fourth, and honestly, Gemini felt a strange sense of warmth from that joke when he saw it yesterday, even if it was never meant to be serious. Norawit’s fingers trembled as he dialed Fourth’s number in a pure panic.
"Hello?" A hoarse, exhausted voice came through the phone. Gemini’s heart nearly stopped at the tone. He was already ready to run out of his condo to Fourth's place just to comfort him.
"Fourth... are you okay?" Norawit asked, with voice full of concern, biting his lip.
"I... I didn’t mean to," Fourth said quietly, sniffing softly. "I just... Gem, I'm sorry, I..."
"You don’t need to apologize to me. It didn’t hurt me," Gemini said, his heart breaking at the sound of Fourth’s voice. "What worries me is only you. Do you want me to come over?"
"I’ll be okay. Really," Fourth replied, his voice still cracked. But toward the end of the sentence, it sounded as if he tried to force a smile. "I just... I was scared that you would hate me too."
"I would never hate you," Gemini said seriously. "You know, whatever happens, I’ll always love you, no matter what kind of love it is."
"Gem... I love you too," Fourth whispered, and Gemini's heart skipped a beat. But then he continued, "Sorry, I just... I’m still not sure in which way, but I know that I want to be with you."
"Listen, Fourth. I’ll always be by your side despite anything. No matter what the fans, Phi, haters or anyone else says, even if the whole world turns against you, I’ll always be by your side." Gemini replied, his voice softening and the light smile wearing his lips. Oh, how much he wanted to pat Fourth's hair now.
"Thank you..." Fourth said hoarsely.
"Let’s figure out how to handle this, okay? Don’t worry, this hate won’t last long. Give it a day or two, and they’ll forget about it," Gemini said after Fourth nervously exhaled into the phone.
"I’m so embarrassed... I never thought it would turn out like this," Fourth replied quietly. "But I don’t think I did anything wrong or said anything bad. And even though things between you and me aren’t clear yet, you know... I don’t exclude the possibility of us... you know," He paused for a moment and then continued. "Well, I’m just really sorry that I didn’t think about the consequences, but I won’t take back what I said."
Gemini’s heart skipped a beat again. In that moment, he had so many things, running inside his mind that he wanted to ask Fourth about.
But Norawit understood that this wasn’t the right time, this wasn’t the right moment. For now, he decided, let things to be as they should be. "I’ll put a smile back on his face," Gemini silently promised to himself.
In the end, Fourth apologized on Twitter, but this tweet he remained untouched. To be honest, Gemini no longer wanted to dwell on it or overthink it. What mattered most to him was that he hoped Fourth would feel better with time.
The next day, Fourth posted the lyrics on his Instagram:
"I know that change is just a part of this life
But our love will stand the test of time
'Cause baby, you're my constant, constant
Darlin', you're my constant, constant"
Gemini knew exactly who those words were meant for. He felt warmth in his heart knowing that Fourth wasn’t letting things slip away. It seemed he was truly reflecting on everything that concerned the two of them. Norawit was happy to be that constant for Fourth, he would give anything to make Nattawat feel better. After all, Fourth had become Norawit’s constant as well.
After that, they had a few live sessions and events, but Fourth still seemed to be struggling. Despite smiling often, it was clear he was quieter than usual. The moment he let his guard down even for a second, his smile would fade away. Gemini tried to make the most of every bit of his energy, joking and fooling around as much as possible, just to keep Fourth from retreating into himself. Norawit also made a conscious effort to touch him as often as he could, to show his presence, to remind him that he was by his side, as he had promised.
Fans on Twitter were already making theories about them. Even Gemini himself found it increasingly difficult to deny everything, though he still tried to act as usual with Fourth, pushing him away with skinship jokes, joking about SatangFourth and PhuwinFourth and so on. But something had changed between them. It was now more palpable than before, and Gemini couldn’t hide it anymore. Even their Phi seemed to have figured all out, leaving tweets like, "Hold hands and stay by each other’s side." Gemini didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at this, but this silent support still made him feel warmness inside.
Then came a day full of work with interviews and two live sessions dedicated to the LOL Fanfest. Gemini was deeply worried about Fourth, since he hadn’t yet recovered from the wave of hate that had crashed down on him.
After one of the interviews, they stood outside, ready to head to the venue for the live session. Fourth looked darker than a storm cloud. His cheeks were slightly sunken, and his eyes were dull. When Gemini saw him like this, he almost burst into tears. His chest tightened with pain. He knew asking 'what happened' would be pointless, it was already obvious what had happened.
Norawit stepped closer to Nattawat, who didn’t even react to his approach, still withdrawn and now resembling a silent, sad statue. Gemini gently touched his shoulder with his fingers, then pulled him into an embrace, stroking his head. In that moment, he heard soft sobs from Fourth. Nattawat clung to Gemini as if trying to hold on to the last shred of hope.
"It’s okay, Fourth. I’m here. You can let it all out," Gemini whispered, running one hand through his hair, the other down his back, trying to put in every movement as much tenderness as he could.
Fourth didn’t answer, silently continuing to cry. The stress had soaked every cell of his body, both emotionally and physically. He was so tired. So exhausted...
After some time, the sobs faded. Nattawat lifted his red-rimmed eyes to Norawit, gazing at him intently.
"Gem... let’s... try?"
"What?" Gemini asked, pulling away from the embrace, looking at the guy before him in shock.
"My tweet... the one I posted... let’s make it real?" Fourth’s voice was quiet, almost unsure.
"Do you mean..." Gemini answered with his heart racing so fast.
"Yes," Fourth replied, cutting Gemini off before he could even finish his question.
They didn’t know what would happen to them, didn’t know how they would handle everything, but as long as they were together, they were ready to face whatever came their way. As long as they held hands, as long as they felt each other’s presence, they feared nothing.
"Our boat has motor already, you don’t have to ship anymore"