Work Text:
It’s as Aha’ri’s body is burning that Alma makes the decision. The right decision. The one she should’ve made years ago when the Kame’tire refused to hand over their children, when John thought slaughtering the Sarentu was better than receiving another no. It is a decision she is making eight years too late but if she doesn’t make the choice now she’ll never make it. She’ll continue to excuse John’s actions, continue to excuse Harding’s brutality, continue to turn a blind eye to broken bones and bruised bodies, and eyes that are too old for the young faces they stare at her from.
She has to wait a week, a full human week considering the lights in TAP and the quarters for both staff and the children follow a twenty-four hour cycle and not a seventy two hour cycle like the moon itself experiences. The children involved with the escape attempt had been punished severely, John even going so far as to ban them from classes. Yuayt had been praised in front of them before they were taken for punishment, given extra rations and a new set of clothing. John had even deigned to wrap an arm around the nine year old’s shoulders, nine in human years because nothing here was measured by the Na’vi’s sense of time. Even as John praised the boy, even as he spoke ill of those who attempted to leave, Alma had seen the way his ears had pinned back, his tail had lashed behind him, and his fingers had curled into fist. The very next day had been the first time the boy had refused an order and had his back lashed for his troubles.
The children who attempted to leave take a human week to heal, Yuayt heals slightly quicker, though each day he becomes more and more ragged looking thanks to the Yefti, Telisi, and Okni icing him out of their social circle. John doesn’t even notice the dissent growing amongst them. Of course, how could he? He never visits the children unless he has to. The actions of the children only convince her that she’s finally making the right decision, eight years too late, a week too late, but the right decision nonetheless. When she lays the avatar body down in its bunk for the night she whispers to herself, “For the good of the children.” A hollow echo of the words she spoke so long ago, a lie she told herself when she saw the mass of soldiers joining them to ‘speak’ to the Sarentu. She can lie to herself all she wants, say she had no idea what John was planning, but deep down she always did.
It takes a week for the children to heal but in that time Alma has set her human body up in a link shack off TAP grounds, claiming that her teaching credentials don’t discredit her original job with the RDA as a xeno-anthropologist. She’s in a field lab that’s close to an Aranahe camp, not their Hometree but still close enough to Na’vi that the lie that she’s putting feelers out with local hunting parties and gathering groups on rumors about the Sarentu is believable enough. She’s had years of practice lying to herself, lying to John is much easier.
There’s a link shack at the field lab, she can still access her avatar to teach classes during the day to a group of four instead of a group of nine, but at night she’s doing everything she can to prepare for the fallout of her plan. The Aranahe are wary of Avatar drivers, the Zeswa too far to reach in a timely manner and more aggressive than the Aranahe, and the Kame’tire are out of the question entirely. Of the twenty Avatar drivers sent to Pandora only three had been sent to the Western Frontier to work with John Mercer and of them Alma was the only one left. The other two had quickly put in transfer requests to return to the quote unquote mainland of Pandora, fleeing the madman and his rabid guard dog Harding. There were scientists here but the majority were xeno-biologists involved in a program centered around Pandora’s more aggressive wildlife, that even Alma didn’t have the credentials to access or they were involved in xeno-botany, geology or some other field of study that she didn’t have the mind to grasp. She was the only anthropologist on the Western Frontier among the scientists and soldiers.
The sheer number of soldiers present throughout her time on Pandora should’ve been the first clue that there was never going to be peaceful contact with the Na’vi. TAP’s Ambassador program was a lie, they weren’t training Ambassadors, they were creating soldiers to fight their war for them. She knew that a few of the soldiers were sympathetic to the children when they were younger, smaller. Their sympathies had waned though as the children got older, bigger, and began talking back more often. Aha’ri at only fourteen had already been taller and stronger than John and that fear of being overpowered had brought forth the institution of a ‘No Touching’ rule. Na’vi were not allowed to touch humans on base, and minimal contact was to be maintained between the children and Avatar drivers. Humans could lay their hands on the Na’vi though, soldiers could break their fingers around guns that they refused to grip, scientists could poke and prod and beat the children for not complying with their medical exams, but the children could not touch them back.
Alma knew she had no allies among the workers of TAP, and if there were workers that shared her sympathies toward the Sarentu children then they were well hidden. She was entirely alone on the Western Frontier but that was fine because she had a week after Aha’ri’s death to prepare her plan. She sets the field lab up with temporary hammocks, she stocks as much food as she can that she knows is safe for the children to eat, hoards RDA rations as if her life depends on it and…it really does, doesn’t it? She won’t be able to return to TAP after this, her life’s work, her project that she built from the ground up. John might lead the program but that’s because he was from the business side of things, Alma worked for SciOps which was only a subsection of the RDA and not technically “full” employees of the corporation. Funding was something they argued about constantly, results would have awarded TAP more funding but Aha’ri and Nor were resistant to RDA teachings, Okni was sickly, not to mention the way Satxu'li looked up to their sister.
None of that would matter soon though, she was getting them out. She was leaving TAP behind and striking out on her own with them. She had no allies in the Western Frontier but she’d find allies where she could. Her thoughts strayed for a moment toward Grace, Dr. Augustine at Hell’s Gate, but she shook it away. The woman would be a last resort, someone to turn to if she couldn’t manage on her own. Grace…Alma wouldn’t be able to bear the look the woman would give her if she knew the things that she had done. The sins she had committed, how darkly her hands were stained with innocent blood.
It isn’t hard to get her Avatar access to the children’s sleeping quarters. There are soldiers stationed there but to their knowledge she’s as much their boss as John or Harding is and she’s never been more glad for their ignorance than now. Before she heads inside though she dismisses them for the night, lying to their faces about a late night expedition to get the children used to navigating the wilderness that sprawls across Pandora. There’s a fueling station not far from TAP, they’ll hike down that way and be back before morning.
It’s not quite ‘night’ yet for Pandora but already TAP’s lights are drifting into their nighttime mode, an attempt to keep the humans here on Earth time and to force the children to adjust as well. Even if the night cycle isn’t real the soldiers’ circadian rhythms respond to it all the same and are grateful for the excuse to head to bed early. There didn’t used to be a guard rotation at night, but that changed after the escape attempt. After Aha’ri’s death. Alma doesn’t think it necessary, after all the children had just seen one of their own killed and the rest beaten for their attempt to leave. Why would they attempt anything now? She’ll have to be careful not to alert any of the heightened security as she guides the children out of the facility.
Alma knows how to be careful.
Already she’s discarded her shoes, she’s wearing clothes that are short and tight fitting and she has more “natural” style clothes stashed at the field lab. She doesn’t have a lot of clothes stored for the kids but that’s fine, she’s sure if she appears with the kids the Aranahe will take at least a little pity on the way they look. There’s an outfit for each of them at least, even if she had to approximate their sizes and bastardize what was left of the artifacts taken from the Sarentu Moot. God even just thinking about that place makes her want to cry, even if it is not her grief to feel. The children have more right to tears than she does.
The air in their quarters is still and stagnant when she enters, something she has tried over the years to change. It is, in her belief, one of the factors that keeps Okni so sickly but she can never convince John to change the setup of the room. There are too many bunk beds first of all, for just nine children- eight now. They’ll outgrow the beds in a few years anyhow and need to be replaced anyway. It seems a waste to have all these beds knowing that they’ll be useless soon. One of the main reasons the Avatar bunkhouse had hammocks instead, even if Alma is the only one to sleep there now.
Okni is in the bottom bunk closest to the door, Satxu'li on the bed above her. Teylan and Nor are next, Ri’nela is curled into a ball on her bottom bunk, the one above her empty and made with military precision, Yefti and Telisi are the very last ones. On the left wall there are multiple empty bunks but directly in the middle is Yuayt all alone, no bunk mate and no neighbors. The social isolation extends into the bunkhouse even with the bed above Ri’nela empty now.
Alma runs a gentle hand over Okni’s hair, kneeling next to her bed and soothing her awake slowly. Nor is already awake, watching her from the edge of his top bunk and his eyes are far too old for someone so young. He’s a year younger than Aha’ri and now with her gone he’ll be the oldest child. “Ok children, it's time to wake up. Everyone get up and come with me,” She tries to keep her voice calm and steady, already reaching up to wake Satxu'li from their slumber. “Nor, wake Teylan and Ri’nela. Yuayt I know you’re awake get the girls.” She’s trying not to give them orders, she doesn’t want them to think this is forced, but at the same time her plan works on a very tight schedule. Bribes and lies only go so far before whispers reach John and Harding’s ears.
Okni grumbles as she wakes, and Alma feels bad about the late hour but she needs to get them out of here. She’ll carry the girl if she has to but first they need to leave. “Why?” Nor’s voice rings out across the room and there’s distrust clear across his face. Alma knows she deserves it, knows that she’s been convincing herself of a lie all these years and these children have faced the consequences for it instead of her. There’s still bruising around one of his pale yellow eyes after all.
“We’re just…going for a hike. This is a scheduled nighttime expedition to prepare you for the future.” She doesn’t want to lie to them anymore than she has to but for now if they come across any SecOps they will all be able to parrot the same story. A scheduled nighttime expedition that was pushed back by The Incident. That’s how everyone in the facility was referring to the kids’ escape attempt. To Aha’ri’s death. “We’ve already done a few daytime excursions, this is an extension of that.” Her voice is shaking too much but none of the children awake call her on it.
Soft yellow eyes peer at her from Satxu'li’s bed, eyes that have always felt like they know all of Alma’s secrets, even if the person they belong to has always been so, so quiet. “Come on, before it gets too dark outside and we have to cancel.”
The excuse is flimsy but the children listen, climbing out of bed and straightening their clothes, because why would John provide for them beyond one basic set of clothes? It’s another thing she should’ve protested harder on, another wrong that she has a hand in. How many times could she repent these sins? How many times would be enough to absolve her, if ever? At least the lack of changing means she can get the children out of here faster. It only makes her feel worse about the measly amount of clothes she’s managed to gather for them though.
Eight children, one adult. The odds are not in her favor but Alma is willing to ignore that for now. “Okni give me your hand, I want you all to stick very close to me ok? Don’t wander.” Her own eyes scan over the group of children, noting how small they all are. It’s a constant thought in her mind, how young they are, how small they are. John can bitch all he wants about her regarding the Na’vi as pets but she doesn’t, not really. She sees them as children, vulnerable and small and totally reliant on them, on TAP. Every single person in this building has failed them, Alma at the top of that list.
Moving through the facility is easier than she thought it would be and the entire time she thinks that there will be a trap ready for her, waiting to be sprung the moment they leave. That’s how John had gotten the kids last time, but no there’s no group of soldiers waiting to ambush her and the kids. Soon the group is outside, breathing the fresh Pandoran air and still not totally safe. There’s a small courtyard they still have to get through before they’re out in the wilds finally and then they can simply disappear.
Disappear.
Alma can practically taste the word in her mouth, even if she hasn’t said it aloud. She didn’t write her plan down anywhere, didn’t corroborate with anybody, and didn't say a single word about it at all. The only way someone could know about the plan is if they had read her mind and no matter how advanced the RDA was that technology simply wasn’t viable. Hopefully wouldn’t be viable for a good long while yet.
She doesn’t lead the kids out the main gate but a smaller side one, less watched and with only a few lights pointed towards it. She’s sure the older ones are catching on by now, the way their eyes flicker over every inch of the world around them, ears flicking and twitching to catalogue the new sounds, noses twitching with scents on the wind. Their night vision is a little more developed than Alma’s but there’s still some light around to traverse through the forest covered hills and cliffs.
She knows that she should have chosen a field lab further out from TAP but she worries so much about Okni, Teylan, and Yuayt being able to keep up. Okni was older than the two boys but so sickly and she was still recovering from yet another fever. Nor should be fine, Telisi as well but Ri’nela was never made out for physical workouts and Yefti often hesitated to push themself. Satxu'li usually did the bare minimum required of them, going through the motions silently. ‘No fight,’ John often said but Alma knew better. Aha’ri might’ve been the outspoken one but Satxu'li was smart, and observant. She knew the child knew more than they ever let on.
While the main facility was mostly underground, a purposeful tactic to make it harder for Na’vi or predators to find, the courtyard let out on the other side of basin the Aranahe called ‘opinyuä sey, Colorer’s Bowl or Dyer’s Bowl as the cartographers on base had labelled it. The field lab was on a small, naturally occurring island in the delta of the Kinglor Forest. The waters there didn’t have too swift of a current and Alma could swim well enough, even with a passenger.
Okni’s hand was small in hers, the little girl struggling slightly to keep up. Nor had taken to walking slightly ahead of her and when Alma swivelled her head backwards the others had taken to walking in single file. Teylan looked overwhelmed, he kept alternating between tugging the brim of his cap low on his face and covering his ears. Ri’nela was walking next to him, her hands fluttering about his head as if unsure what would make it better or worse. Yefti and Satxu'li were bringing up the rear, the older of the two constantly reaching back to keep the younger from getting side tracked. Telisi appeared to have been tasked with watching Yuayt, though she didn’t look happy about it. It didn’t matter, they were all following her and staying together as much as possible. Alma couldn’t risk losing any of them in the forest, too many predators would love to turn them into a snack.
She had skirted a wide boundary around where she knew the Na’vi staying at the camp usually fanned out to gather and track prey. While yes the Aranahe were not outright hostile toward Avatar drivers she didn’t want to risk them reacting to her with eight, visibly na’vi children. She doesn’t know if the Na’vi understand the concept of kidnapping due to their communal way of living but she also doesn’t want to find out the hard way.
It was fully dark, well as dark as it could be on Pandora, by time they reached the river. She’d spent a few of her human hours searching for a spot that could be waded through but even in her Avatar body she could tell wading just wasn’t possible. There was a point on one bank of the river where she could see the island, and the field lab was just barely beyond it, but still she hesitated. Okni was so small…Teylan had never done well in these types of exercises… There was so much that could go wrong right now.
“We need to cross this river to get to the island on the other side. Okni will cross with me, Teylan I want you with Nor, he’s taller than you and…” Alma cast her gaze across the rest of the children, swallowing around the lump in her throat. She can’t afford to turn back now, she can’t afford to be found out by anyone, Na’vi or RDA, but she doesn’t know how she can do this alone. She didn’t go through the same outdoor training that the biologist and botany avatar drivers did, and even then they were always accompanied by SecOps when they went out into the Pandora wilderness. “Yuayt, girls you all across together you hear me? Satxu'li should be in the middle and you all need to stay close as we cross. Do you understand?”
The water wasn’t shallow enough to wade across but the current wasn’t strong enough to require a good swimming technique. It was certainly weaker than the stimulated current they used in the pool at TAP. When all the children had nodded or agreed to the plan Alma picked Okni up and instructed her to cling to her back. “Ok, Teylan and Nor first, girls and Yuayt next and I’ll come behind you. There’s no reason to be afraid, you can see the island on the other side.” Her words are empty, there to reassure her more than the children and isn’t that just terrible? That she feels the need to reassure herself more than them?
Crossing the river takes longer than she would’ve liked, the kids moving slowly and cautiously through the water, and poor Teylan looks like he’s about to rip Nor’s arm off from how hard he clings to the older boy. The girls and Yuayt keep Satxu'li in the middle of their group just like she told them but Yuayt is still pushed toward the back of their group, given no direct access to the child. She’ll need to get the kids to accept him back into the fold soon though if they’re to survive out here. Keeping Okni on her back is a little harder than expected but the girl clings to her dutifully and eventually the whole group makes it to the other side.
The other side, through the underbrush, and to the field lab is perhaps the easiest part of the entire journey. The link shack is just barely visible considering the foliage that Alma, in her human body, has used to cover the too-shiny metal. The field lab itself is already slightly covered from above by tarps, though even those are a bit too colorful for her liking. Bright orange and easily seen from any helicopter which makes her more nervous than anything else. This is the first place they’ll come looking for her, come looking for them.
The children at Grace’s school called her Sa’nok, mother, a title that Alma was not given even with the youngest of the Sarentu children. They did not braid her hair or offer her trinkets as the children who attended Grace’s school did. There were no games to play or songs to sing, there were English lessons yes, and the introduction of human culture but there was no exchange. Humanity stood above the Na’vi and really how could Alma have deluded herself that the Na’vi were inferior to them? Simply because they chose to live simple lives, communal lives? Simply because they believed in a being greater than themselves? Aren’t there still humans who participate in organized religions?
The sight of the temporary shelter she’d set up had never brought her more relief, whether in her human body or her avatar. “Alma?”
She still had Okni on her back and the girl’s soft voice so close to her ear made it twitch. “Yes, Okni?”
Small arms tightened around her shoulders, the girl falling silent for a moment as the entire group came to a stop in front of the field lab. Alma chose to wait for the girl to find her voice again, sometimes it took her a while. “We’re not going back, are we?”
“No, Okni. I’m not taking any of you back if I can help it.” She tried to keep her voice more steady than she actually felt. They could spend the night here but in the morning they would need to leave again, find somewhere else to stay. Would any of the other field labs be safe? Would the Aranahe be safe to approach? She needed a plan that could last more than a single night and right now she just didn’t have that. She had hammocks and a link shack she couldn’t move or hide. Maybe she should’ve brought the kids to one where her human body wasn’t stashed…
Alma shook her head and shifted to put Okni down. “We’re only here for the night, Mercer will send soldiers out to look for me and you by morning I’m sure of it. I need you kids to trust me ok? I need you to trust each other. No more fighting, no more grudges, none of it. Okay? Pandora is dangerous and you are kids, the RDA makes Pandora even more dangerous.” Even for the Na’vi there were dangers, thanators and viper wolves and storm gliders. Even titanothere could prove troublesome. She wasn’t saying this to scare the children, she wasn’t. “But, we’ll discuss that more in the morning. You should all try and get some sleep, Okni I want you in one of the lower hammocks.” She had no proof that being out in Pandora would help the girl and her poorly nature, she would rather the girl be near the floor just in case.
Eight children, eight sets of too old eyes staring at her from too young faces. Green, blue, and golden, like the many colors of Pandora. They were so young, all of them were so young. Alma can’t afford to break down now, not in front of them, but maybe later when she de-linked from her avatar. So many of them were so thin, how could Mercer or Harding look at them and see soldiers? Weapons? Why had it taken her so long to stop seeing them as a project and start seeing them as living beings? As lives?
Aha’ri’s death should never have happened.
The Sarentu Massacre should never have happened.
Alma let these things happen.
Mercer made the call on the Massacre, Mercer pulled the trigger to shoot Aha’ri, but Alma should never have let it get that far in the first place. The very first no from the Kame’tire should’ve opened her eyes to what she was doing was wrong, her method was wrong. Maybe if she had talked to Grace sooner, seen her version of a school sooner, she might not have let things get this far but it was too late now. Aha’ri was dead now. “I’ll wake you all in the morning for breakfast and then we’re going to leave but for now, get some rest. I will see you all in the morning.”
The children hadn’t moved toward the hammocks at all but once she’d spoken they started to move. Slowly and hesitantly, as if this might be a trick or a trap, and it broke her heart that they didn’t trust her even now but one day they would. She swore to herself that one day these children would trust her enough to take her words at face value, the Na’vi had no concept of lies but the humans had taught that to them. The humans had taught them what it was to distrust someone else. TAP had forced these kids to learn of such an unjust practice, and had changed the way they view the world around them permanently. Another sin for her to bear.