Chapter Text
No, truthfully...
I like him.
.
.
.
"You're sleeping, right?" Jigu asked quietly. He gently tapped Yeowoon's shoulder, only to be met with silence. At that moment, he felt as if all kinds of emotions swirled through him.
Lee Yeowoon is strange.
In the beginning, Jigu hated him with every fibre in his body.
So how did it come to this?
He always approached Jigu first, being a nuisance, deliberately choosing to invade his personal space. Yeowoon made it obvious that he liked Jigu, constantly pestering him. And yet, it wasn't the thing that annoyed him the most. He did all that while wearing a pretty, innocent smile that never seemed to falter.
When did his favourite time of the day become seven o'clock in the evening?
When did he start to feel empty when Yeowoon didn't come to the pool?
When did he start feeling hurt when he didn't reply to his messages?
When did he realize his gaze was always glued to the café window, watching whether Yeowoon passed by in the street or not?
When?
He wasn't sure.
This is all Yeowoon's fault.
Jigu had never really given much thought to dating, let alone being together with a guy. These thoughts were merely foreign to him. But yet, some way, somehow, Yeowoon managed to do it.
He effectively seduced him.
He admired Yeowoon's soft, parted lips and the rhytmic rise and fall of his chest as he peacefully slept. Jigu’s heart raced in his chest when he watched over the person he had grown to care for so deeply.
"Hyung, you're really asleep, r-right? You're not messing with me...?"
Jigu hated the idea of spending less time with him.
He really enjoyed the late night strolls they had shared in the past.
Jigu's left hand trembled a little as it hesitantly hovered over Yeowoon's face, his hand grabbing his chin tenderly. He placed his right hand neatly on the couch arm beside him, carefully leaned in and with that...
...He leaned in for the kiss.
The kiss was soft, hesitant, yet it carried the weight of everything Jigu had bottled up. Every little flutter of his heart, every single doubt, every thought he had never dared to say outloud pressed into that fleeting moment.
His mind was clouded by the warm emotion that stirred inside him. It was unfamiliar, unknown, but not unwelcome. His body responded instinctively, moving closer, as though he could somehow anchor himself to the feeling.
Wait.
He pulled away rapidly, a bit breathless. Jigu was blushing a deep red, suddenly very consciouss of his actions.
What did...he just do...?
Then it hit him.
That was a kiss.
Yeowoon just stole his very first kiss.
To Jigu's dismay, while trying to retract his arm that was resting next to Yeowoon, he accidentally lost balance and in an instant, both of them were pressed together. It all happened so quickly, too fast for him to even realize. He tried to process what just happened, when...
Yeowoon's eyes slowly fluttered open.
Jigu felt as if the whole world just stopped.
Oh no...this is bad...
He couldn't move. He wanted to pull away, to prevent Yeowoon from realizing what he just did, but it was too late.
"J...Jigu? What are you..." Yeowoon whispered quietly as he tried to adjust his eyes to the mild darkness.
Thrown into an awkward situation, Jigu tried to desperately come up with a reasonable excuse.
"Hyung!...I was-...er...I was just checking if you were sleeping!!" Jigu stammered, his eyes darting nervously around the dark room, the only light emanating from the television. "I-I mean..who just falls asleep in the middle of a horror movie?!" He added quickly.
...this is really bad...
Yeowoon sleepily blinked a few times, clearly confused, before his gaze dropped down to where their bodies were pressed together.
Jigu just kissed me.
There was a long, painful pause, and Jigu could practically hear his heartbeat ringing in his ears. His thoughts were a chaotic mess, his attempts to save the situation only making it worser.
"...Jigu. Are you sure that was the reason?"
Yeowoon saw right through him.
There's no room for excuses.
"I'm...I..."
Should he tell him?
Should he tell Yeowoon that he's actually Ji9star?
Is this too sudden?
Will it fix everything?
Jigu didn't know.
"Yeowoon...I-I...I have an important confession to make..." Jigu muttered, avoiding eye contact.
This is really sounding like a love confession...
"I'm...Ji9Star." He finally looks up to Yeowoon, shifting slightly.
But it wasn't...?
Yeowoon's eyes widened, clearly taken aback. He had been expecting a love confession from Jigu - something along the lines of "I like you" or "I love you". Not...this.
But now, that Yeowoon thought about it...
...Jigu being Ji9Star made so much sense.
The way he always seemed a little off when the topic of gaming came up, brushing it off, saying he liked dating sims instead.
The way some of the other guild members mentioned Ji9Star's swimming hobby.
He could even recall Jigu's older brother asking him if he still played "that game" while also mentioning his "weird game character", so that's what he was reffering to...?
Who would’ve thought? The person he’d been talking to in person, the quiet, shy and awkward guy...was the same confident, sarcastic and teasing player he’d play together and clear countless dungeons with in Illusion.
What a small, strange world.
"I'm s-sorry for suddenly saying it like this...I wanted to, b-but I didn't know when or how to tell you!!! I couldn't, I just couldn't, without making it feel weird..." Jigu couldn't stop the words that kept on spilling from his mouth.
"Sorry for, um...putting you in this position...sorry f-for kissing y-"
"Jigu." Yeowoon interrupted him, his voice calm yet firm. "You don't have to apologize. It's okay." He carefully patted him on the back.
What?
Yeowoon's fine with it?
"W-why? Aren't you weirded out? B-by me? By everything?"
"No, not weirded out." Yeowoon shook his head, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "Just...it just caught me a bit off guard. That's all."
There's that gentle smile again.
Yeowoon cleared his throat, slightly blushing, looking to the side, before continuing.
"For how long did you know...? That I'm neutaaaa?" Yeowoon asked, a little embarassed.
"About..." Jigu thought for a bit.
"About a year."
"That's a lot." Yeowoon's embarassment grew.
"I know!!!" Jigu replied immediately, then silently scolded himself for acting so hastily.
He could've said so sooner, at the very least.
Yeowoon remembered talking about Ji9Star infront of Jigu, or vice versa on several occassions, which could've been prevented. He pushed those thoughts away in order to save some of is sanity.
"So, I- uhm...I think..."
He realized he should get off of Yeowoon, because they've been in a not so ideal position for the past few minutes.
When Jigu was pulling back, carefully placing his feet back on the floor again, a pair of arms wrapped around his neck.
"Yeowoon?!"