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Haru,
I’m a coward. The biggest. I guess I really am all talk, since I couldn’t even face you when it actually mattered. Hell, I couldn’t even deliver this to you myself. I had to have fuckin’ Makoto give it to you. This is just like that time when I came back from Australia for break and didn’t even bother contacting you…I just couldn’t face you when I felt worthless to myself. You must think I’m really pathetic…ironic, huh, since all I wanted was for you to see me as someone who was worth walking the same path.
Haru - saying that I just admire you would be the understatement of the century. For all these years, I’ve looked at you in complete awe. I remember that first day I saw you at the swim club like it was yesterday. I could only think to myself ‘who is that? I want to swim just like him and maybe I can fulfill my father’s dream.’ Since that day, the thought of you – and my father – spurred me further to be the best I could be. I thought of quitting so many times – my times weren’t improving and my technique was lackluster. Then, I moved away to a strange country where I knew jack shit of the language. But when I was alone in my room at night, I’d always think of the first time I saw you swim. I’d always wake up with a renewed sense of fervor with the thought that, yes, it was possible to achieve all that I wanted, but I somehow always fell short to the eyes of the world.
When I decided to go to Samezuka, it was with total apprehension. At the time, I knew Iwatobi High didn’t have a swim team, so I knew any chance that I’d run into you would be swim. But, it seems fate was in my favor, and you wouldn’t believe how surprised I was that Nagisa was able to rope you and Makoto into forming one. Every encounter we had was heated, and it was mainly from my own angst and pent up feelings. Something stirred in my every time you came near and instead of speaking from my heart, I’d speak out of my ass and it’d usually end in a fight. But somehow, someway someway we ended up saving each other from our demons.
Haru, just know, no matter what the distance was – emotionally or physically – I thought of you. Must be awkward for an 18-year-old boy saying this right? Shit, I’d even think it would be weird, but here I am, basically giving a roundabout love confession through some half-assed letter. But God, Haru, I really do love you - and I knew it for some time now. When we were kids, I just thought it was some great sense of friendship that made me always want to be around you; but, how could thinking about – wanting to be around – someone all the time be anything but love?
By tomorrow, I’ll be in another country. Back to follow my dream to fulfill my dad’s. If you’ve read this far, then maybe you’re not completely disgusted with me and my feelings. Maybe we’ll even get to talk sometime soon.
Nothing hurts me more than leaving you without a proper goodbye, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to say what I wanted to your face. Regardless of the method, I had to get my feelings across before I boarded the plane. I couldn’t leave Iwatobi with that kind of regret.
Haru, regardless of how you feel, just know I want the best for you always. Keep up with your training, don’t shut out your friends (you know how Makoto gets when you ignore him for more than a day), and for the love of God, eat something other than mackerel.
I love you. So much.
Take Care,
Rin
Haru read the letter and was stock still for what felt like hours. Once he came to, he immediately looked at the clock above his desk.
1:30.
He vaguely recalled Makoto saying Rin’s plane wasn’t set to take off till 2:45. Good. He could still catch Rin if the traffic was good.
After being stuck in the same exact spot for 5 minutes, Haru felt hope slipping through his fingers.
Why is there traffic at goddamn 1:56 PM?
Haru threw his cab fare in the front seat and promptly exited the cab, breaking into a panicked sprint down the sidewalk, earning a few wary glances.
He entered the ticketing area of the airport with time to spare, reading the directory signs to departing flights.
He weaved in and out of the less-than-urgent crowds and finally found the gate he was looking for.
He still couldn’t spot Rin.
“Flight 236 to Sydney, Australia Priority Boarding will start now.”
Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.
If Haru didn't collapse from all the exertion today, then he sure as hell was about to from his heart falling to his feet.
“Haru?”
That voice.
Breathless. Surprised. Relieved.
Haru slowly turned around with baited breath, and his heart really would not be able to handle all this stopping and starting it was going through today.
And finally, finally, after literally running around the city, he met the red eyes he so wanted to see.
Rin looked conflicted on whether he wanted to say something more, but when Haru saw tears start to form, he knew Rin wouldn’t be able to form another coherent word.
“I’m coming with you.”
Blunt. No nonsense.
Haru held up the boarding pass he spent his life savings on as way of evidence.
It really was a spur of the moment decision on Haru’s part, but he knew for damn sure that he would not let Rin leave him behind again.
Rin’s letter stirred up feelings that he suppressed long ago for fear of them being unrequited. But he got the affirmation he needed after reading the words that must’ve been difficult for Rin to write.
‘I really love you.
I love you. So much.’
Idiot, I’ve loved you all this time, too.
The tears were definitely flowing now.
Haru knew there wouldn’t be much talking now since the final call to board echoed over the intercom.
But, now, there’d be all the time in the world for explanations.