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Sirius dumped his baby brother in his best friend’s lap, completely fed up.
“Alright, Moony, he’s your problem now.”
“Hey!” Regulus protested, limbs flailing to find his balance without tumbling off the werewolf and the couch. He found purchase by wrapping his arms loosely around Remus’ neck. “I resent that.”
Remus chuckled softly at the brothers’ antics, adjusting Regulus’ coltish legs over his lap while the boy slid off his thigh into the narrow space between Remus and the arm of the couch, with his back to the arm.
“I’ll keep an eye on baby Black.,” Remus promised, his arm hanging casually across those long legs clad tightly in charcoal denim (a gift from Sirius).
Regulus turned offended silver eyes to amused amber irises. “I do not need a babysitter ,” he seethed.
“Of course not, love,” Remus assured, hiding his grin in black curls. He missed the light blush that bloomed on Regulus’ pale cheeks, but knew it was there. No matter how many times he used the pet name, it always flustered Regulus -partly why Remus kept using it.
Sirius waved as he backed away, “Make sure he doesn’t run off. He has to stay ‘til midnight. That was our deal.” He sent Regulus a pointed glare and then turned on his heel to return to the center of the party around them and the arms of his boyfriend, kissing James on the lips in greeting.
The two boys watched him go, one amused and one chagrined, until finally Regulus looked away with a huff, folding his arms awkwardly in front of his chest. Neither of them thought to pull away from each other. Regulus didn’t even consider taking his own spot on the couch and Remus didn’t think to push him off. This type of seating arrangement between the two of them was long since acceptable in private circumstances, when it was just them or their close circle of friends -both Remus’ and Regulus’. It had started slowly, timidly, neither wanting to push the other’s boundaries, but the more time and space and conversation they shared, the more Remus realized that though Regulus was particular about who touched him (especially in public), in private he was altogether far more touch starved and desperate for affection by those he deemed acceptable and worthy of his person.
“I didn’t even do anything,” the boy muttered insistently.
Remus hummed, settling his chin on a fist propped up on the arm of the couch. “I’m sure.”
Regulus had to tilt his head back in order to glare properly. “I don’t even want to be here.”
A sliver of worry worked through the humor, tightening Remus’ chest in a different way than it did having the pretty boy sprawled over his lap. A cold that stole the tingling warmth from before. “ Here being… at this party? Specifically?” he clarified. “Or at the Potter’s in general?”
“What?” The glare gave way to pinched brows, freckled nose wrinkling up in confusion. “At this party, obviously.” Regulus looked down at his nervous, twisting fingers. “I’d much rather spend the holiday with the Potter’s than go back to my parents. And what they have planned for me.”
The silence shared between them spoke of punishment, dark ink on pale forearms, and gilded cages disguising indentured servitude as opportunity. All of this narrowly missed by an unlikely friendship between the two of them, Remus being the only person who had been able to convince Regulus not to return home for the winter hols, and instead defy his parents outwardly for the first time by joining the Marauders for their yearly crashing at the Potter’s New Year’s Eve party. It wasn’t a permanent solution, but Remus was confident he could wear down the younger Black to leave home for good before the end of term.
To distract them both from the heavy thoughts, Remus toyed with the curls at the back of Regulus’ neck with scarred fingers, providing comfort in the only way he knew how. “Do you think you can last-” he glanced at the enchanted clock on the mantle, “45 more minutes?”
Regulus sighed, dipping his head back further into Remus’ touch, eyelashes fluttering as his eyelids drooped. “If I must. I’ve made it this long.”
“What’s this deal you made with Sirius?” Remus asked as he wrapped a curl around one finger and tugged on it, just to pull it free and wrap a different curl around the same finger, giving it similar treatment. His fingertips brushed against the tender skin at the back of the younger boy’s neck, and if it made the boy shudder? Well, Remus pretended not to notice.
“He promised to leave me alone for the rest of the holiday before we go back to school, and for the first half of the summer hols.”
“And all you have to do is make it until midnight?”
“That’s what he said.” Regulus shrugged. “Though I’m expecting him to do something stupid to embarrass me.” He glanced over at Remus, a light pout on his lips. “He won’t even let me take a break, though.”
“Caught you sneaking off, did he?”
Regulus scoffed. “I wasn’t sneaking off. I just needed a break from,” he gestured to the filled room, “all of this. But he said that would break our deal. And he didn’t trust me to come back if I locked myself in the room, so.”
Remus could sympathize with that. Even after all of these years, sometimes Remus just needed a minute to himself. Times around the full moon were worse, both before and after, and he often took little pockets of time and space to recenter himself before returning to the chaos of his little found family. But Remus knew Regulus just as well as Sirius did, and also did not trust Regulus to show himself again if he were to slip away ‘just for a moment.’ So Remus came up with a compromise.
“Would it be better if I dampened the sound of the room? Just around us?” Remus offered. “Maybe then it won’t be so overwhelming.”
Regulus seemed to ponder that, worrying the corner of his lip with his teeth, avoiding his gaze. “I don’t know if it will be enough,” he finally said, softly. As if worried about being too much trouble and being found unworthy of the effort.
Little did Regulus know the lengths Remus would go to in order to comfort him. “Will you let me try?”
Shoulders stiffened in hesitation, but then the tiniest of nods gave his permission. Remus regrettably disentangled his fingers from raven locks and reached for his wand sitting next to him on the end table. A quick flick and a muttered word lowered the sharp roar of voices to a soft hum of intelligible sound, as if someone had turned down the volume of the tele and moved it into the next room over. Still there, still persistent, but much more manageable. Or at least, Remus hoped.
And Regulus visibly relaxed, shoulders drooping and the tightness around his eyes and mouth smoothing out. “Yeah, that’s better, thanks,” he said on an exhale, a breath that seemed to have been stuck in his chest previously.
Returning the wand to the end table, Remus wound his fingers in ebony tresses once more. He gave the dark fox in his lap the opportunity to find his breath, grounding him with touch and silence, keeping the weight of his attention on anything and everything else. Regulus had admitted to him previously (in a hidden nook of the library, quiet and ashamed) that even being perceived too intently was enough to make him crumble sometimes, and while Remus didn’t necessarily understand the sentiment, he could respect it.
Therefore he watched idly while James and Sirius spoke spiritedly with the Prewitt twins -undoubtedly quidditch related. He followed Peter’s movements as he moved around the room from one conversation to another, quietly following the gossip wherever it led him. Monty twirled Effie in his arms in time to the music, the both of them grinning infectiously at each other. Other adults milled around the room, friends of the Potters.
No one paid them any mind.
After some time, eventually the boy tucked his cheek into the crook of Remus’ shoulder, nose pressing into his collar and breathing in. Remus lasted only a moment before he gave into the temptation to circle his arm protectively around him and card his fingers through his bangs, sweeping them out of starlit eyes. As if he could shield Regulus from view. His other hand stroked the curve of his calf, back and forth, thumb tracing occasional circles up near his knee.
The fingers that Regulus had twisted tightly in his lap unfolded, and while he kept one arm curled up close to his chest, the other palm slowly smoothed up the front of Remus’ jumper. Fingers tapped a constant beat - one, two, three, four, five - from pinky to thumb in the middle of his sternum. Over and over until Remus lost count of how many sets Regulus had played.
Finally, those fingers stilled, rubbing absently at the spot they had been tapping as if soothing any irritation they might have caused. Regulus worried about that kind of thing -leaving marks behind, invisible or otherwise.
Remus wished he would mark him up further.
He determinedly pushed that thought down.
Instead, he felt it safe to turn his head towards the boy curled up against him, so close that those curls teased his lips and he had to press in deeper against the top of his head to stifle the tickling sensation. Not a kiss, just a bit of pressure. That’s all it was.
“Better?” Remus queried, voice soft and gentle.
Regulus hummed a positive note in response, but didn’t move away or say anything else, so Remus didn’t either. His patience was rewarded not long after. “I’m sorry for being such a mess.”
“You’re not a mess, love,” Remus murmured fondly. “No more than the rest of us, at least.”
“I can’t even handle four hours at a party without being coddled .” Bitterness dripped from his words like venom from fangs, but the only one Regulus was poisoning was himself.
“And Sirius still sneaks food from the table to stash in our dorm, even though he knows he will have access to a verifiable feast at the next mealtime,” Remus said. “Just because your response to your home life is different doesn’t make it any less valid, or less palatable to the rest of us.”
Those words drew more of a response. He lifted his head and met Remus’ eyes, astonishment softening his features. “I didn’t know Sirius still did that,” he whispered.
Remus’ hand had slid back with Regulus’ movement and dropped to his shoulder, and he instinctively held him closer. Though that seemed impossible with what little space was between them.
“He puts on a good front most of the time,” Remus said. “And it’s genuine, for the most part. But some things stick around awhile, and some things may never go away completely. Sirius might always sneak food from the table, and you may always feel a little overwhelmed in group settings. Maybe your quirks originate from something a little more sinister than some other people, but that doesn’t make them wrong or you weak. It’s just how you navigate life, something we are all trying our best to do.”
“I hate it.” Regulus spat, but Remus knew his vitriol wasn’t directed towards him.
“I know,” he replied simply.
Regulus glared at him with mock annoyance. “Stop being so agreeable.”
Remus smirked. “Never.”
The corner of Regulus’ mouth twitched up briefly, but he stifled his smile, pretending to be petulant. “What usually happens at these parties to ring in the new year?” he asked, obviously changing the subject. Remus allowed it.
Tipping his head back, Remus looked up at the ceiling, pondering the question. He didn’t even notice when his own fingers started combing through the locks again and scratched lightly at Regulus’ scalp, though he couldn’t miss the satisfied hum that purred in Regulus’ chest.
“Oh, it’s different every year.”
The werewolf told him about years past, the parties and the pranks. He told him of botched firework spells and singed carpets. He told him about spiked drinks that caused the drinker’s hair to change color. He told him of dancing to David Bowie records and converting new followers to the gospel of Ziggy Stardust. He told him of concealed flasks of firewhiskey, and that one time Sirius imbibed just a little too much, and how Remus and James took turns holding his hair back while he was sick because Effie refused to give him a sobering potion to end his misery.
“‘If you’re going to drink like adults, then you can suffer the consequences like one,’ she had said,” Remus chuckled.
Regulus scoffed. “I doubt any adult actually suffers through hangovers.”
“Maybe not,” Remus admitted. “But now we never drink without brewing sobering potions for each of us beforehand.”
“Huh,” Regulus mused thoughtfully. “I’m guessing that wasn’t Sirius or James’ idea. Let me guess -Peter?”
“Ahh, you know us too well.”
Regulus’ long fingers traced patterns on Remus’ chest, plucking at the fabric of his jumper when it bunched up in a way that was offensive. “What do you have planned for this year?”
“I don’t think I’m supposed to say…”
“Why not?”
“Sirius has been working really hard to make this a surprise for you, so-”
Regulus rolled his eyes. “Of course he is. But I hate surprises.”
Remus petted his hair consolingly. “I promise it isn’t anything bad. You’ll like it.”
Had it been anyone else, he knew Regulus would have pushed the issue. He really did despise surprises -being caught unaware and, consequently, being made a fool of. So he would have fought the issue, pressed and prodded and poked until he had pried the secrets from their reluctant lips. But Remus knew and respected his hard limits, and wouldn’t force him into an uncomfortable situation. Well, not any more uncomfortable than he could handle. So if Remus said it would be okay, then Regulus would believe him.
For now.
“Alright,” he relented, “but if I’m going to suffer through it, then you better share your alcohol. I’m not doing this sober.”
Huffing out an amused breath, Remus shifted until he could get to the small flask in his back pocket, careful not to jostle Regulus in the process. “Not too much,” Remus warned. “We didn’t brew you a sobering potion this year.”
Regulus unscrewed the cap deftly. “I’ll just steal Siri’s.”
He put it to his lips, but it was taken from him before he could tip it back. Regulus glared up at Remus, who had a stern expression on his face. “No, absolutely not. He’s the one who will need it the most. And I’m not going to be the one to let you get pissed for the first time -in front of adults, no less. At least wait until we get back to school.”
“Hypocrite,” Regulus muttered, but relented quickly. “Fine, I won’t get drunk. Just a couple of sips.”
Remus regarded him carefully before nodding and returning the flask. Grinning sharply, Regulus threw back the flask, taking a hearty swallow. He tried to hide the wince from the burn as the liquid slid down his throat, but didn’t cough or splutter so Remus figured this wasn’t his first time. Remus looked at him suspiciously, but wisely chose not to say anything. Regulus stole one more, smaller, sip before handing it back to the werewolf, who promptly took his own swig.
They sat in companionable silence for a moment, reveling in the warmth from the alcohol as it coursed through their systems.
“So that’s it, then?” Regulus mused, fingers once again twisting in the fabric of Remus’ jumper. Occasionally a fingertip slipped past the collar, brushed against skin, causing flesh to prickle and a shiver to run down Remus’ spine. “Some stupid pranks and drinking? That’s what I’m being forced to participate in?”
Remus handed him the flask, if only to give the boy’s hands something else to do other than drive him crazy. “Well, there’s also the New Year’s kiss,” Remus said thoughtlessly, just as Regulus went for another pull.
Regulus choked as he swallowed. He coughed into his arm, though the soothing circles Remus rubbed into his back likely did very little to assuage the discomfort. He took back the flask and held it at a safe distance while Regulus forcefully dispelled liquid from his lungs. Taking an unsteady inhale, Regulus wheezed, “WHAT?”
Remus continued rubbing at his back, bringing up his other hand to wipe away the stray tears on Regulus’ cheeks with his thumb. “You know, the New Year’s kiss?” Remus was a little uncertain that Regulus didn’t know what he was talking about, and now felt foolish for bringing it up at all.
“Is that some muggle tradition? There’s nothing like that in the wizarding world,” Regulus stated, still valiantly trying to compose himself again.
“No, no. I’m sure it is. Even James and Peter and some of the other purebloods at school knew about it,” Remus insisted, capping the flask and setting it aside. He paused, thinking. “Though Sirius didn’t know about it, either, thinking back on it. Maybe it’s just something that your family doesn’t practice.”
“Shocking,” Regulus drawled sarcastically, though his words came out a bit strained. “You’d think it would fit in perfectly with all of the other family customs.”
Remus smirked, trying to mask his nervousness with an air of confidence and playfulness. “The kiss is supposed to be a token of good luck. You can always start this year.” And if that playfulness came across as a little flirtatious, where was the harm in that?
But Regulus looked up into Remus’ mirth-filled eyes skeptically. “And who, pray tell, would accept a “good luck kiss” from me? I am the unluckiest person I know.”
Remus hummed. “You truly think so?”
The corner of Regulus’ lip twitched upwards again, but just like earlier he fought back his small smile. “I’m here, aren’t I? Traded one form of torture for another.”
“Oh, well if I’m just a personal hell for you-” In mock offense, Remus pushed Regulus’ legs off of his own lap. He moved to stand up, but didn’t make it far before an arm looped around his elbow and a hand gripped the back of his neck.
“No, wait- I didn’t mean you specifically.” Regulus pulled Remus back to his side, a little put out at his own desperation. “Don’t leave me here by myself.”
Remus tried not to feel too satisfied at being begged to stay, eyes trailing from anxious mercury irises to pouting lips. “I thought you didn’t need a babysitter?”
Regulus growled. “I don’t. ” He pushed Remus back into the cushions none too gently, swinging his legs back over his lap. “But if you leave, then I’ll have to socialize with someone else and you are the most tolerable of my brother’s friends. And if I have to sit in agony, then so do you.”
Regulus still had his grip on Remus’ elbow and the back of his neck, pulling the older boy closer than he had been previously. Remus wasn’t sure if the heat licking at Regulus’ cheeks was from the proximity or the spirits, but figured that regardless it was a good look on him.
His smirk deepening, Remus pulled Regulus further onto his lap by his hips, knees spreading to make room for him, and draped both of Regulus’ legs on his other side. The boy yelped in surprise, gripping the front of Remus’ jumper with one hand, the other curving up the back of his head to fist Remus’ own tawney waves.
Remus leaned in closer, until his lips were a breath away from the shell of Regulus’ ear, and murmured, “What makes you think I’m suffering with you? For your information, I’m quite enjoying myself.”
Grimacing, Regulus pushed back and glared up at Remus with rising panic in his eyes and a blush staining his cheeks. “Lupin, I swear to Merlin-”
“It’s Lupin , now, is it?” Remus taunted. “And here I thought we were friends.”
“My arse is in your lap . I believe this takes us beyond friends,” Regulus deadpanned.
Remus couldn’t hold back his laughter, ducking his head and giggling into Regulus’ shoulder, but Regulus shoved him.
“Arsehole,” Regulus muttered, his voice a little too soft for his insult to be taken seriously.
Giggles still spilling from his lips, Remus gazed at him fondly. “You are full of mean words tonight, love. Would it kill you to say one nice thing?”
“It might,” Regulus grumbled, the color in his cheeks deepening delightfully at the endearment, but Remus caught the movement at the corner of Regulus’ mouth.
“Go on. Say one nice thing.”
Regulus cleared his throat. “If you remember correctly, I did already say you were the most tolerable of my brother’s friends. I think that fills my quota for nice things to say.”
“That’s not even a full complement. That’s a half’a one, at best.”
Regulus huffed, eyes settling everywhere except Remus. “I think that’s all I’m capable of.”
Remus pinched that sharp chin between his thumb and forefinger, forcing the star to meet his gaze. “Maybe I should show you how it’s done.” He watched in fascination as the flush crept down his exposed, pale throat and reached up to his hairline. “Do you need a lesson, Reg?”
With how flustered Regulus seemed, Remus did not expect him to lean forward, bringing his face closer, enough to smell the whiskey on his breath and feel the heat of it as it blew against his lips. His heart stuttered in his chest, breath catching in his throat when long fingers trailed along his waist, reaching behind him and snatching up the flask.
“I know how to be nice. I just choose not to be. For my own self preservation.” And with that, he took two large swigs of whiskey.
Remus watched, entranced at the way his Adam’s apple bobbed, how his pink tongue darted out and licked the excess droplets from his wet lips. Remus just barely held himself back from digging his fingers into Regulus’ tiny waist and whimpering pathetically. It suddenly didn’t seem like such a good idea to have this vixen in a precarious place such as his lap. Though that didn’t stop him from wondering how firewhiskey tasted from Regulus’ mouth…
Regulus held the flask out to Remus, and the werewolf snapped out of his musings, mentally berating himself. This was not the time to be lusting for his best friend’s baby brother -though Regulus was far from the wide-eyed, innocent and lost first year just trying to keep up with his older brother that he had met so many years ago. He truly had grown up, filling out his school uniform with muscles honed from quidditch. Filling out the old band T-shirt Sirius had leant him for the night, still slightly too big but showing the promise of more to come in future years…
Nope. Not thinking about it .
Alcohol burned his throat when he swallowed on autopilot, not realizing he had taken the offering and brought it to his lips. With the second swallow, Remus hoped the fire in the whiskey would burn away the feelings that had not only lingered, but grown over the years.
As he capped the lid and returned it to its spot behind his hip, the burn faded, but the feelings remained. He bit his lip in frustration.
And Remus found he wasn’t the only one staring as he licked over the sting of his own bite. Pupils blown wide, Regulus’ darkened gaze fixated on Remus swiping his tongue over his lip, a little too intense to be passed off as casual. Remus’ heart rate picked up slightly, adding that to his mental tally of times he’d caught Regulus staring.
The count wasn’t nearly high enough to hold any sort of candle to the amount of times Remus found himself staring at the younger Black, but never had Regulus been so blatant before. And that? That gave Remus hope. Enough hope to push past the mild flirting and teasing and touching they’d developed slowly over the years. Enough hope to push further tonight and see how Regulus responded. Enough hope to think maybe his advances would be accepted rather than discouraged…
“Maybe if you had a bit more luck , you wouldn’t feel the need to rely on mean words all the time,” Remus said, returning to their previous conversation. At the way Regulus blinked slowly, owlishly, returning his attention to Remus’ eyes rather than his mouth , Remus knew he wasn’t the only one holding onto his sanity barely by a thread. Moving more slowly this time, giving Regulus plenty of opportunity to pull away, Remus cupped his cheek in one large palm, ensuring that he had Regulus’ complete focus as he said his next words. “Maybe a New Year’s kiss would give you the luck you’re looking for.”
Remus watched with glee as Regulus’ breath and brain shuddered to a halt and his whole body stilled, eyes wide and lips slightly parted invitingly. His eyes flicked down and back up again, tongue darting out to swipe across his lower lip. Then he leaned into Remus’ palm, tilting his chin up ever so slightly while Remus leaned in further.
Loud popping sounds broke through their spell, shattering both their moment and the sound dampening barrier Remus had erected earlier. The two of them jumped apart, deeply startled by the sudden cacophony surrounding them. Regulus nearly toppled out of Remus’ lap and tumbled off the couch, but Remus’ quick reflexes prevented him from landing on the floor.
Choruses of “Happy new year!” erupted from all of the party goers, several lifting glasses or applauding, and all of them admiring the little display of magical fireworks Sirius, James, and Peter cast from their wands. Harmless, heatless sparks exploded and fizzled out before they could even fall to the ground, and the three young men laughed and waved their arms around, spreading their efforts around the room.
Midnight. Remus cursed under his breath. They had missed the countdown due to the spell. Shit, the fireworks. The marauders (plus Lily) had spent weeks researching and experimenting during every spare moment not studying for NEWTs so they could successfully pull off the fireworks display they had attempted years ago. Sirius had been so excited to create a grand gesture for Regulus, knowing he would be anxious about disobeying their parents during the Yule season and hoping to distract him with this and bring a smile to his face.
But Remus had been distracting him, instead.
And Sirius was looking over at them fretfully, a forced grin splitting his face.
Shit .
Remus picked up his wand, Regulus having scrambled off of him at this point and his attention locked on the mini fireworks display before him. With a practiced wave, Remus ignited the tip of his own wand and quickly joined the others.
Catching sight of his brother’s attention, Sirius’ smile softened into something more genuine. His lips moved in familiar words, the cascade of sparks emitting from his wand shifting into a different, moving shape. A little lion assembled before their eyes, glittering warmly in shades of red, orange, and yellow. It loped around in a circle, stepping on air as it approached Regulus. Then, with a roar, it exploded into a mess of sparks that rained down and disappeared before touching the ground.
James went next, his spell conjuring a gold, white and brown badger. Simultaneously, Peter cast a snake shimmering in multiple shades of green and silver while Remus cast the preplanned eagle proudly flying in various hues of blue and bronze. The three forms danced around each other, finally bursting as one in a finale as the four of them poured more sparks for the end of their show.
Loud applause and cheers rang in from every corner of the room, but nothing could compare to the beaming smile across Regulus’ face.
Remus felt honored to be part of the reason that put it there.
Sirius closed the distance between him and his brother, throwing his arms around him in a tight embrace. It was clear that both of them were getting a little emotional, and everyone respectfully looked away, turning their attention on the other three boys while the brothers had their moment.
Remus suffered through questions on the spellwork, congratulations and praise at not only the successful magic, but also the study that went into it, as well as a few sarcastic comments from people expressing their gratitude for not being set on fire this time. Remus fielded through all of it, but couldn’t help keeping Regulus at the edge of his attention.
After that, the brothers joined them, and Remus felt destabilized. Everything that had been building between Remus and Regulus seemed to have collapsed underneath them, leaving Remus freefalling, unable to get a grip. Seeking out Regulus provided no comfort. His mask was up and gave no indication of what he was feeling, though the way he avoided Remus’ eyes again spoke volumes.
That’s how they spent the rest of the festivities, orbiting around each other, but just out of reach of the other. Remus couldn’t keep his eyes off of Regulus, and Regulus looked everywhere but at Remus. Eventually, the last of the ‘good nights’ and ‘happy new years’ had been said and all of the guests left one by one.
The boys did their part in cleaning up, and between the six of them they made quick work to put the house in order. Then Effie and Monty sent the boys up to their rooms for the night, retiring themselves, absolutely knackered.
Upstairs, they all muddled through their nighttime routine, changing into pajamas and taking turns brushing their teeth in the shared bathroom. Peter was the first to finish and go to bed, bidding them all a sleepy good night. Based on how the rest of the night had gone, Remus expected Regulus to do the same and slip through his fingers for the final time tonight. Instead, he seemed to be taking his time, painstakingly following each step of his nighttime skin care routine, ignoring every one of Sirius’ sarcastic remarks, even while he did the same with his own potions and lotions.
Remus leant against the door frame with James as they played mediator for the two brothers, though it was hardly necessary. However, Remus couldn’t very well explain to the others why he loitered instead of joining Peter in the room they would share for the night.
Eventually, the two boys finished up and there was nothing left to do. No more reason to stick around and no excuse to keep Regulus in his sight. Something tightened around Remus’ chest, constricting his lungs and clenching his heart. Time had run out, and Remus could not let things be left like this between them.
Reaching out with a tentative hand, he gripped Regulus’ elbow, making him pause in the middle of the hall.
“Wait, can I talk to you?”
“Um,” Regulus glanced at Sirius and James, who had looked back at them and remained ignorant of the tension between the two.
Sirius shrugged, saying “I’ll just go to bed with James.” Like that wasn’t his plan all along.
Regulus turned back to Remus and said, uncertainly, “Sure.”
Remus removed his hand and the two of them stood there in the hallway awkwardly for a moment while James and Sirius disappeared into the bedroom and Remus gathered his thoughts.
“I’m sorry for making you feel uncomfortable,” he said at last. “I shouldn’t have taken it so far.
Regulus said nothing for so long Remus didn’t think he would get an answer. And the longer the silence stretched out, the more certain Remus became that he had pushed him beyond what he could easily mend.
Finally, Regulus said, “It just surprised me, is all. I wasn’t expecting you to tease me like that. It’s something I would’ve expected from Barty because he flirts with everyone, and I know he doesn’t mean it. But you…” Regulus’ voice trailed off, staring at a spot on the ground, and Remus wasn’t sure if the boy couldn’t find the words or simply didn’t want to say them.
“I what?” Remus prodded gently.
Regulus cleared his throat. “I wasn’t sure if you meant it or not.”
“Me kissing you?”
He nodded, still avoiding eye contact.
Remus swallowed tightly, hesitantly asking, “Which would be worse? If I meant it, or if I didn’t?”
“That depends,” Regulus replied, breathy with his exhale. Then he raised his chin and met Remus’ eyes. “Did you mean it or didn’t you?”
And there it was. Asked point-blank with no way to escape. Did Remus mean it when he flirted and teased? Was he genuine with every tender touch? Was he sincere every time he called Regulus a pet name -every time he called him love ? Did he mean it when he said he would kiss Regulus?
Would it mean something if he did?
And Remus didn’t know which answer would fix the tension that strung tight between them, tying them close together, choking them if they pulled too far apart.
So with a shuddering breath, Remus called on every ounce of bravery he could muster in his Gryffindor heart and answered honestly. “I did. I do.”
Those words hung in the air between them, Remus biting his lip, Regulus’ eyes wide. Neither of them breathed.
It only lasted a moment before Regulus became a flurry of movement.
The two steps he took placed him directly in front of Remus, and he fisted the front of his jumper and pulled Remus down to his level. The other hand gripped the back of Remus’ neck.
And then Regulus’ lips were on his.
Remus had imagined kissing Regulus thousands -millions- of times. Though he tried not to, sometimes his daydreaming got the better of him and he was thinking about it before he could stop himself. Mostly, he imagined it would be timid, soft, and short kisses. Sometimes he thought about long, languid, tender kisses. Briefly he fantasized about imposing passionate kisses on a Regulus slack-jawed and in the throes of pleasure.
Never did he imagine Regulus kissing him like Regulus was the one who owned Remus . Never, in all of his wildest dreams, could he have imagined how good it would feel to submit to a Regulus confident in taking what he wanted. Never did he imagine himself melting under and into Regulus’ strong grip, or that the hands he placed on Regulus’ tiny waist would be to ground and support himself rather than the younger boy.
But fuck , if it wasn’t perfect.
Remus moved his mouth insistently, desperately, opening his mouth when Regulus’ tongue swiped at his lips. That tongue explored the cavern of his mouth, sliding along his own tongue and curling behind his teeth. A moan tumbled out of his mouth, which Regulus promptly swallowed up and seemed to be trying his best to force another out of Remus’ throat. He slid his hands up to Remus’ hair, curled his long fingers in the locks, and tugged.
That ignited something deep and low within Remus, who then used his grip around Regulus’ waist to turn them around and pin Regulus up against the wall with his hips. Regulus gasped from the rough treatment, his own moan spilling from his mouth that was suddenly unoccupied.
Remus made sure to remedy that immediately, this time setting on his own expedition of not only Regulus’ mouth, but the length of his neck, the hollow of his throat, and the curves of his collar bone. His hands skimmed the sides of his thighs, past his hips and up the planes of his stomach underneath that borrowed t-shirt. All the while that body pulsed with heat and want and acquiesced so deliciously to every one of Remus’ touches, elegant fingers still knotted in soft waves.
And oh , a submissive Regulus was even more exquisite than he could have ever imagined. He devoured every moan, inhaled each gasp, soaked in every tremble. He worshiped Regulus in a way his mother could never get him to worship her Catholic god, and Remus couldn’t help but think it was because his religion was found in the stars.
Remus lost track of time. He didn’t know how long he had Regulus pinned against that wall, only that he finally had his dark fox in his arms exactly the way he wanted. Neither of them slowed down, barely allowed each other space to breathe, and only because it was necessary to continue. At some point, Remus became aware of the stiffness between both of their legs, but neither paid their erections any mind, somehow silently knowing and agreeing that that would be too much as of yet. And while Remus’ hands roamed under Regulus’ shirt, as Regulus did to Remus, both stayed firmly clothed.
There would be opportunity for that later, after they had both talked things through. Because they both still had things to say. Things to discuss. Things left in the in-between that needed to be addressed. For now, they lost themselves in the first taste of each other, gorging themselves like two boys starved, unaware they were feeding a hunger that could never be sated.
Yet slowly Remus came to realize this. That he could never kiss his fill of Regulus Black in a million years, let alone a single night. And so he pulled back, granted not very far, and rested his forehead on Regulus’ shoulder. They both struggled for breath as they clung to each other, attempting to gather some semblance of composure.
Regulus was the first to speak. “Don’t go,” he whispered.
Remus warred with himself internally. “We both need to sleep,” he countered, but even he could hear the longing in his voice, making his argument fall flat.
“Then sleep with me tonight.”
Remus let out a breath, coming up with so many reasons why they shouldn’t, and instead settling on, “Just to sleep.”
“Yeah,” Regulus agreed readily. “Just to sleep. As amazing as it is to finally kiss you, I’m exhausted.”
Remus huffed out a laugh. “Me too.”
Then he straightened, taking Regulus’ hand and leading him to the room Regulus was sharing with Sirius during the break. They both crawled into bed and under the covers. Remus laid on his back, an arm around Regulus who curled up into his side, resting his head on Remus’ chest. Remus couldn’t help placing one more kiss on the crown of the boy’s head.
“Good night, love,” he murmured.
He felt Regulus grin against his chest.
“Good night.”