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For a few minutes, Holland thinks this will be the time they finally move forward, reach the milestone most couples get to.
The television drones in the background but it’s little more than static compared to the thrill of being on his partner’s lap, body warm as hands hold him close. Kissing is strangely pleasant, not demanding the way Holland is used to. Then he shifts position just slightly-
Sharp, hot-white pain bolts down his spine, sparking into his right leg.
“Holland?”
The pain must have shown through. He shakes his head, speaking through gritted teeth. “Fine. Keep going.”
Of course he doesn’t. Vor pulls back, the hand that had been slipping under his shirt withdraws. Once again coddling him when Holland very much did not wish to be coddled.
Mood sufficiently murdered, Holland flops off his lap, back against the couch and glaring at the dull period drama that had been left playing.
Vortalis clears his throat. “If you’re in pain and I can get anything-“
“I don’t need anything.” Holland is used to this. Feeling normal for hours or even days at a time, only to be abruptly reminded of the damage. The pain has muted, now a solid ache down his back with pins and needles along his right leg, something that would get in the way of anything physical.
Nerve damage is a funny thing. Another thing he can blame Athos for. There’s no point in saying any of that. “The discomfort will pass.”
Holland knows what to expect now. Vortalis has been gently pushing for more physical intimacy, something that kept being pushed off due to timing or intervening circumstances. Once again disappointed, he’s going to find an excuse to leave the awkward atmosphere. There’s nothing to gain from staying.
But when he glances over, Vortalis has pulled a blanket over. He pats his lap. “Make yourself comfortable.”
Oh.
In slow, faltering movements, because a part of him can’t help but think it’s some cruel trick, Holland stretches out. Head on his partner’s lap, pillow to support his back.
It’s… comfortable, surprisingly so. It’s enough.