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He wishes he can blame Odasaku for leaving so suddenly, for being so goddam selfish. He supposes he can't be too hard on him. With him, he finally had some stable times.
Oda is always on his mind, thinking about how he's missing everything Dazai has done and all he'll ever do. That's one of the things that cut so deep into his heart. A strange raw feeling cutting him up inside, laughing at him for forever to come. Oda was his home.
OR- dazai has never gotten over odas death.
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