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The bright rays of the morning sunlight gently hit Hinata’s skin, the sensation prompting him to squirm around a little bit within the confines of the bed, immediately understanding this was his call to try and wake himself up and greet the day with the same energy as usual even on his day off.
However, something felt off to him; lightly hitting something with one of his hands as he twisted his body around —- which already felt hotter than his usual body temperature around the early hours of the morning, almost making him believe he had fallen asleep inside a furnace if he didn’t know any better.
Even so, as he explored around with his one hand, he felt something…smooth? Maybe more so soft to the touch than anything, almost like he was handling something delicate that he had to be careful not to hurt by applying too much pressure.
Although, if Hinata had to make an educated guess, that was probably where the source of warmth that had been overtaking his body was coming from, leaving him feeling more than a bit tense as he put two and two together on what he had been laying his hands on, promptly opening his eyes to check out whatever was sitting next to him.
…
He blinked one, two—-maybe even three times to make sure he wasn’t just hallucinating things in his head before calling out in a quiet voice.
‘Anzu-...san?’
Well, this was… weird. To say the least.
Their bodies were way too close for Hinata’s description of comfort, being nearly cuddled up to each other in ways that were sure to give anyone the wrong idea of what had transpired here.
Their legs were a complete entangled mess below the sheets, locked in together like a lover trying to hold onto as much of their beloved as possible, with Anzu’s own face in particular being only a few inches away from his chest like she had been trying to reach for a pillow.
Hinata’s own hands were still uncomfortably laying on the exposed parts of her skin that her outfit revealed, forcing him to realize it was perhaps due time he moved them elsewhere, lest he wanted to end up touching things even more inappropriate than he already did.
However, in spite of all this, the girl gave him no reply: still being completely sound asleep, with a look of peacefulness that almost annoyed Hinata from the sheer carelessness she displayed towards her surroundings, considering the extremely awkward situation they were in. Or well, more like he was in as she looked almost completely unbothered in her unconscious state.
If Hinata had to be honest, this had to be a dream—-or a nightmare, really.
There was not a single worldline where finding himself sleeping in the same bed as Anzu, the girl infamously known for always keep her distance from idols, was something he had ever imagined happening in his life, much less ever even considered, contrary to what it may seem—-
It made him feel all kinds of complicated emotions. Namely, confusion as to how this even happened to begin with as he has no recollection of finding himself in the same room as her the night before, otherwise he would have not allowed this to happen even if he had to fight for his life to object to it.
Although, he supposed that one was gonna remain an unsolved mystery. Probably for the best, even, at least if he didn’t want to cause an unnecessary fuss about the situation in his attempt to solve it.
For Anzu’s sake, if she wanted to be let off with her reputation unscathed —- and for his sake, as well, in order to keep working towards his goal, it wasn’t something anyone else had to be aware of.
Hence why he already knew it was sure to be a good idea if he left as soon as possible, pretending this had never happened being the only one who’ll likely even remember, anyway.
Hinata tried to pull himself up, trying to sit up straight on the bed to prepare for his swift departure, being careful as to not make too much noise in order to not wake up Anzu in the process. Well. That was how it should have gone in his mind, at least.
In reality, he could feel a weak grip on his waist, desperately trying to hold him in place despite the clear differences in strength, making him turn his face towards Anzu who was still just sleeping peacefully next to him. It was a completely unconscious movement, perhaps just out of some kind of habit of hers and whatnot, but it was enough to make her look like a spoiled child who wasn’t ready to let go of her toys just yet in Hinata’s eyes.
Toys, huh. He supposed that could’ve been a good way to describe idols. Just mere objects.
However, maybe that wasn’t the time nor place for such thoughts so Hinata merely let out a quiet sigh as he watched her wrap her arms further around him. It was embarrassing to say the least, as much as he hated to acknowledge it, he could feel a small blush making its way across his cheeks at her actions, still unable to make sense of the situation, yet unfortunately realizing he had perhaps missed his chance to escape.
He could only keep lingering on her touch, silently observing her. He wasn’t sure when she would wake up, and he wasn’t sure whether he should wish for it to happen sooner rather than later.
Hinata had always been the one lecturing her on resting properly, not overworking herself unless she wanted to fall sick over and over again. He would always find it just a bit irritating how much she’d be willing to put her life on the line for the sake of her work, how much she’d be willing to draw the line further and further as she pushed everyone away.
Even if it was at the expense of—-whatever this situation was, he couldn’t find it in himself to say no to her.
No matter how awkward things were, no matter how much he had always tried to fight it, in one way or the other, Anzu always managed to find a way to occupy every single one of his thoughts, turning them into a mess that felt very unlike himself. Well, not that he fully understood what was truly “like himself”, anyway.
Although, rare were the times where Hinata could confidently claim to not have control over his own feelings. After all, what had he been all this time if not a calculated display of emotions he showcased at his own convenience? He always had to keep himself in check in order to not lose sight of what was important to him, unless he wanted to be left behind with no means to catch up.
Everything in his life had always been for a bigger purpose, something that went far beyond just himself. He wasn’t sure if anything had any meaning unless those goals occupied the very center of his world and were the sole reason everything kept spinning.
However, she had undoubtedly been very good at turning his whole world upside down.
Even though he had always been aware he should have known better, somehow he was never able to put a stop to her creeping her way up into every single corner of his heart like a parasite, eating more and more away at him the further in she settled inside it.
Although, admitting that was in itself hard enough when he still wasn’t sure he knew exactly what the feelings he held for her were, anyway, in spite of the occasional flutters he felt in his heart even when every single cell in his body was screaming against it.
Well, Hinata wasn’t sure he exactly wanted to give them a name, either. He was fine with being only vaguely aware; any more than this and he would likely be crushed by the overwhelming weight and guilt these feelings carried along with them.
He pushes aside a loose strand of hair that had fallen on her face still in the middle of her sleep, careful to not wake her up as he tucked it back behind her ear while also deeply lost in his own thoughts.
Anzu kept taking slow breaths next to him, still not showing any signs of waking up soon, much less let go of him. The more he watched over her peaceful resting face, the more Hinata could feel as if he could hear a loud sound repeatedly thumping in his ears, putting him even more on edge than he already was.
Ah, this was really unfair.
She was always so blissfully unaware of everything around her. No, maybe intentionally avoiding anything that was inconvenient to her, really. But he couldn’t stand how powerless this made him feel, how aware he was that even in this exact moment, with their bodies so close together it could be considered taboo, he could only feel as if he was watching on from a distance.
It was selfish, but he couldn’t stop himself from occasionally yearning for the closeness they once had in his first year, of the carefree laughter and joy they shared together as they played along to their heart’s content, allowing the other to forget for even just a moment of the heavy responsibilities they each carried with them.
That’s why, even just for this moment, even while having the knowledge burned deep in his brain of how wrong this was—-he couldn’t stop himself from bringing his face closer to hers, stopping right at the spot where his lips brushed against her hair, giving it a quick peck before retreating back to his position with a bittersweet expression, yet hoping this would be enough to placate his feelings.
Even so, for just this moment, where everything sits still in the quiet radiance of the morning light, perhaps it was fine for him to wish things could quietly linger like this for just a bit longer.