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In the grand Kagamine estate, where chandeliers sparkled like constellations and the gardens stretched wider than a kingdom, two tyrants ruled. These were not kings, nor lords, but twins—Kagamine Rin and Kagamine Len.
Born into wealth and privilege, they had everything at their fingertips. What they lacked, however, was parental supervision.
Their mother and father, who were off attending international galas and shaking hands with powerful figures, were nothing more than distant names in the newspapers.
Thus, the mansion and its many unfortunate staff belonged to the twins. And what did they do with such power?
They waged war.
Not a war of swords or guns—no, their battles were fought with wit, manipulation, and absolute pettiness .
~
It began, as it often did, with something completely stupid.
“JAMES! JAAAAAMES! ” Rin’s voice rang through the marble halls. Her short golden hair, which had been tied into a small ponytail, bounced as she stomped into the dining hall, throwing a royal tantrum. “I demand more pudding. Immediately.”
James, the ever-patient head butler, merely sighed as he finished setting the silverware.
“Lady Rin, you’ve already had four servings this morning—”
“Then make it five! It’s called an imperial decree! Ever heard of one?” she huffed, arms crossed like a petulant queen.
Before James could reply, a slow clap echoed from the doorway.
“Oh, dear sister,” Len drawled, stepping in with the smug air of someone who lived to cause trouble. His short blond hair was messy in a way that somehow still looked effortlessly cool, and he leaned against the doorframe like a drama protagonist. “Still stuffing your face like a pig at a trough?”
Rin gasped as if she had been personally stabbed.
“You—! You take that back, you walking, talking mop-head! ”
Len smirked. “Ah, insults. The last resort of someone with zero charisma.”
“I have plenty of charisma! At least I don’t suck up to the staff to make myself look better.”
“Oh? James, who do you like better, Rin or me?” Len asked, turning to the butler with a dazzling, 100% rehearsed smile.
James, having dealt with these two for over a decade, simply turned and walked out of the room without a word.
The twins turned back to each other.
“Would you look at that, he had to simply walk away to spare you the embarrassment,” Len grinned. “Face it, Rin, you’ll never beat me.”
Rin’s eye twitched.
“Oh, please ,” she snapped. “He didn’t even give you an answer! We clearly know that I’ll always be superior to people like you .”
~
With James unwilling to declare a victor, the twins set their sights on a new battlefield: the maid staff.
The mansion had a rotating group of housekeepers, and to the twins, they were more than just people who cleaned up their messes—they were a voting body. If they could get the maids to favor one twin over the other, it would be a social victory.
Rin was the first to strike.
Dressed in a frilly, unnecessarily extravagant yellow dress, she waltzed into the main hall, where the maids were busy dusting chandeliers and organizing books.
“ Ladies!~ ” she sang, clapping her hands together. “I must say, you all work so hard. It must be exhausting having to deal with my lazy brother.” She sighed dramatically, placing a delicate hand to her forehead. “Just completely inconsiderate, isn’t he?”
The maids giggled. It was true.
Rin smirked. Victory was imminent.
And then—
“Oh no,” Len’s voice cut through the air like a blade. “Has my poor sister finally realized she has no real personality beyond being loud?”
The maids giggled again.
Rin twitched.
“You wanna go?” she hissed.
“Oh no, I feel so threatened.”
What followed was an exchange of insults so fast and sharp that the maids could barely keep up:
“You’re just mad because I’m older!”
“You’re just mad because I’m prettier!”
“Your singing sounds like a cat being strangled!”
“Your cooking could be used as poison!”
“You have zero fashion sense!”
“You have zero brain cells!”
By the time they were done, the maids had already left the room to avoid being caught in the crossfire.
“Great, you scared them off,” Len scoffed, flicking a strand of hair out of his face.
“I scared them off?” Rin shot back. “You’re the one who barged in like some kind of attention-starved prince!”
Len grinned. “And yet, I still look cooler than you.”
Rin had to physically restrain herself from throwing a chair.
~
By this point, the Kagamine mansion had seen its fair share of destruction. Expensive vases had been shattered, the dining hall had been turned into a battleground of food, and the staff had learned to duck at the sound of Rin and Len's war criesechoing down the halls.
But this? This was different.
This wasn’t just a petty squabble over who could get more pudding. This wasn’t just a simple battle of wits. This was war.
And neither twin was going to lose.
Len struck first.
He knew Rin was not a morning person. If anything, she was a vicious demon when woken up too early. So, naturally, at precisely 3:00 AM, Len set off a series of makeshift alarms in her bedroom.
It started with her actual alarm clock, which continued to ring no matter how hard she banged on it to stop.
Then, the church bells started to ring about 4 hours earlier than they should have. (Which was not a result of Len bribing the church staff to ring the bells at the asscrack of dawn, why would it be that)
And just when she groggily staggered out of bed, thinking it was over—
BANG.
A bucket of ice water dumped from above, soaking her completely.
Her scream could be heard all throughout the mansion.
“Oh my god, LEN!!! ” she shrieked, flailing in her soaked pajamas. “YOU’RE DEAD. YOU’RE SO DEAD. ”
Len, watching safely from his hiding spot, simply sipped his morning tea. “I see my plan was a success,” he mused, barely dodging a hairbrush that Rin hurled at his head.
Rin, shivering, seethed.
Fine. If he wanted war, he was going to get war.
~
Len had humiliated her. Publicly. Okay, maybe not publicly… but it sure as hell felt like it!
This meant one thing and one thing only—Rin needed to utterly destroy him.
But Rin was smart. She didn’t just want revenge—she wanted to ruin his reputation.
And what better way to do that than to become him?
It took some effort, but with the right amount of styling, a stolen outfit, and Len’s signature smug smirk, Rin transformed herself into a perfect replica of her twin.
By morning, she was ready.
The first victims were the kitchen staff.
Strutting into the dining hall, Rin (dressed as Len) grabbed a slice of toast and loudly spat it out.
“Ugh! Is this what you call food?” she sneered, dramatically flipping her fake Len bangs. “I’ve had better bread served to me in the slums. I demand freshly baked croissants from France—IMMEDIATELY.”
The chefs, used to Len being relatively normal, stared in shock and horror.
Next was James.
“James, I just wanted to say,” Rin started, dropping her voice into Len’s most arrogant tone, “I think you should start addressing me as ‘Master Len, Ruler of All.’ ”
James blinked slowly. “...I beg your pardon?”
“You heard me,” Rin sniffed, tossing her bangs. “Oh, and I expect my golden throne to be installed in the main hall by next week.”
James stared at her for a long moment.
Then, he sighed deeply. “Lord Len, have you perhaps hit your head this morning?”
“No, but I have hit a new level of superiority.”
The third and final strike came when she found one of the maids dusting the library.
“Oh my gosh,” Rin gasped, clutching her chest as if struck by a dramatic revelation. “You’re, like, so cute.”
The poor maid nearly dropped her feather duster.
“W-What? L-Lord Len—”
Rin winked. “We should totally get married. Right now.”
By the time the real Len woke up and strolled downstairs, still half-asleep, the entire staff was glaring at him.
“…What?” he mumbled, rubbing his eyes.
The head chef crossed his arms. “Lord Len, if you hate our cooking, you are free to hire OTHER cooks that suit your impossible food choices.”
The maid from earlier peeked out from behind a door, blushing furiously. “I—I—I’m not ready for marriage!”
James pinched the bridge of his nose. “Master Len, your throne is not arriving next week.”
Len blinked.
Then he saw himself.
Or rather—Rin, still wearing his outfit, standing off to the side with the biggest, most evil grin.
“…You. Absolute. Goblin . ”
“Good morning, brother,” Rin purred. “Slept well?”
Len’s entire soul left his body.
“HOW MANY PEOPLE DID YOU TALK TO?!”
“Oh, you know. Everyone.”
Len screamed.
~
From that moment on, the mansion became a battlefield
The staff was in full retreat. Maids and butlers alike learned to walk the long way around when they saw the twins approaching.
But the breaking point came when—
BOOM.
The kitchen exploded.
Not literally, but close enough.
Len, in a desperate bid for victory, had set up an elaborate baking trap—flour, eggs, and way too much butter—all rigged to fall onto Rin the second she opened the fridge.
Unfortunately, Rin—having anticipated his trap—simply made sure to push Len into it instead.
The result?
Len completely covered in batter, eggshells in his hair, and a defeated look on his face.
“…This is fine,” he muttered, standing in the mess like a tragic hero.
Rin, cackling like an evil queen, pointed dramatically. “I WIN! ”
But before she could celebrate any further—
A deep, tired sigh echoed from behind them.
When James stepped into the kitchen, he was met with a scene that could only be described as chaos.
Flour was everywhere, syrup was dripping down the cabinets, and overturned chairs lay scattered like the aftermath of a battle. But to Rin and Len, it was just a small, temporary inconvenience.
The twins were still catching their breath by the counter, clearly unbothered by the devastation they’d caused.
Their eyes barely flickered toward the door as James entered, his presence barely registering in their minds.
James took a deep breath as he surveyed the mess. He exhaled slowly, trying to remain calm.
“Lord Len, Lady Rin,” he began, his voice tight with frustration. “Do you both know what this is?”
Rin, who was flicking a strand of hair over her shoulder, didn’t even glance at the mess. “It’s a mess, obviously. So what?” she said nonchalantly. “Not like we haven’t had messes before.”
Len lazily leaned against the counter, twirling a spoon between his fingers. “Yeah, honestly, it’s not that bad. You’re overreacting, James. We’ve seen worse.”
James struggled to keep his patience. “This is not a small mess, Lord Len. This is an absolute disaster.”
“Disaster?” Rin said with a bored expression. “Please. It’s just a little flour and syrup. It’s not like the kitchen’s ruined. You’re just being dramatic.”
Len snorted in agreement. “Exactly. It’s not even that bad. We were just expressing our emotions or whatever. You know, the thing you said we should do?”
James pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to suppress the headache that was building. “There are better ways to express one’s feelings, Lord Len. This is a mess. This is unacceptable.”
Rin raised her eyebrows, clearly uninterested in James’s concern. “Unacceptable? Please. You’re acting like we destroyed something important. It’s just food. You can clean it. We don’t need to get dramatic about it.”
“ Exactly, ” Len said, his tone dismissive. “We didn’t break anything. It’s just flour and syrup. The house is still standing. It’s not like we ruined anything.”
James was silent for a moment, his patience fraying. “Fine. You both have one hour to clean this up. I expect it to be spotless when I return.”
Rin and Len exchanged a look, then simultaneously rolled their eyes. “One hour?”
Rin said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “ Why would we be doing something like this?”
“Yeah,” Len chimed in, “Ridiculous. We’re not doing this for you, James.”
“I’m giving you one hour,” James said firmly, his tone leaving no room for argument. “If it’s not cleaned up by then, I’ll inform your parents.”
At the mention of their parents, Rin and Len both froze for a split second, but the shock quickly wore off, replaced by a look of contempt.
“You wouldn’t dare, ” Rin sneered. “You can’t seriously think that would work.”
“Yeah, don’t you have something better to do than tattle?” Len added with a scoff.
“I’ll be back in one hour,” James said, turning to leave. “I expect it to be cleaned.”
Once the door closed behind him, Rin let out a dramatic sigh, crossing her arms. “Can you believe him? It’s like he’s the one who has to clean up after us or something.”
Len smirked and leaned back, looking far too comfortable for someone who had just turned a kitchen into a warzone. “Honestly, it’s not even that bad. I don’t know why he’s so upset. It’s not like the whole house is a mess.”
Rin clicked her tongue and glanced around the room. “I mean, yeah, this is basically nothing compared to what we could’ve done. It’s just a little flour.”
Len nodded. “Exactly. It’s not worth stressing over.”
The twins moved toward the cleaning supplies, but it was clear from the start that their hearts weren’t in it.
Rin lazily grabbed a mop and half-heartedly dragged it across the floor. Len wiped a few surfaces, but he wasn’t doing anything that could be called actual cleaning. They were just going through the motions, but with as little effort as possible.
“You know,” Rin said with a dismissive tone, “I still don’t get why he’s making such a big deal out of this. It’s not like it would’ve taken that long for the staff to clean up.”
Len was already half-checked out, spinning the mop in his hands. “Honestly, we should’ve just left it. I don’t see why anyone else would care.”
Rin shot him a exasperated look. “We’re too important for this.”
The twins continued to half-heartedly clean, exchanging the occasional insult and complaining about how unnecessary it was to clean in the first place. It wasn’t long before they came to a realization: there was no reason why they should have to do all the work themselves.
“Wait,” Rin said, a sly smile creeping onto her face. “We don’t have to clean this up.”
Len raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”
“Why clean when we can just order someone else to do it?” Rin said, her tone suddenly full of mischief. “There are plenty of staff around here. Let’s get someone else to clean. Why should we lower ourselves to mopping the floor when we have perfectly good people to do it for us?”
Len grinned widely. “Maybe you are smart enough to be my sister.”
Without another word, Rin stood up and walked out of the kitchen. A few minutes later, she returned with one of the other servants, a young woman who was known to be eager to please.
The twins exchanged a look and then turned toward the staff member. “Clean this up,” Rin ordered, her voice as cold and commanding as ever.
The servant blinked in surprise. “But… I thought—”
“No. You’re cleaning this. Now,” Len interjected with a bored wave of his hand. “We don’t have the time to deal with this. We have important things to do.”
Rin crossed her arms. “We’ll be in our room. Don’t disturb us. Just… make sure the kitchen looks presentable by the time we’re back.”
With that, the twins turned and exited the kitchen, leaving the servant to handle the mess. As they walked away, they couldn’t help but smile at how easily they had avoided the responsibility.
“Well, that was easy,” Rin said with a grin. “Why clean when we have people to do it for us?”
Len chuckled, clearly pleased with how things had turned out. “Exactly. It’s much more efficient this way.”
They walked off in their usual pompous manner, leaving the kitchen to be cleaned by someone else—because, of course, that was the way it was supposed to be.
In their eyes, the war was over… temporarily .
But for now? The clear winner was…
ME!