Chapter Text
Yoo Jaeyi let out a sharp scoff as the call failed to connect…again. The words "Call Failed" seared into her vision like a personal insult. She had tried countless times, each attempt met with the same infuriating silence.
Her grip tightened around the phone, knuckles turning white as frustration twisted into something heavier… something dangerously close to fear. With a sharp inhale, she tossed the device onto the passenger seat, her patience fraying.
Pinching the bridge of her nose, she squeezed her eyes shut. Stay calm. But the calm wasn’t coming. Unease settled in her gut like lead, growing heavier with every passing second. A muscle in her jaw ticked.
Then, without warning, she slammed her hands against the steering wheel. The impact echoed through the confined space of the car.
“Damn it!” she hissed, her voice laced with barely restrained panic.
The ringing in her ears drowned out everything else. Her breath came in shallow, uneven gasps, and her fingers clenched around the wheel until they ached. She had spent the last hour calling over and over… only to be met with nothing. No answer. No texts. Just dead air and a mounting sense of dread.
Then, her phone rang.
The sharp sound shattered the tense silence, sending her heart lurching into her throat. She lunged for it, snatching it off the passenger seat in a heartbeat.
"Seulgi?" Her voice came out raw, thick with urgency.
But instead of the familiar voice she longed to hear, loud, chaotic music blasted through the speaker. Drunken laughter. Voices overlapping, slurred, and careless.
Then a stranger’s voice. Male. Slightly unsteady.
"Hey, are you Seulgi’s friend?"
Jaeyi’s entire body went rigid. Her pulse thundered, fingers gripping the phone like a lifeline.
"Who are you?" she snapped, her voice sharp as a blade. "Where is she?"
A brief pause. Hesitation.
"She’s… she’s pretty wasted," the guy admitted, sounding uncertain. "And she keeps asking for you."
Jaeyi’s breath hitched. Fear coiled, ice-cold, in her veins.
Her other hand was already moving, shoving the key into the ignition before the call even ended. The engine roared to life, headlights slicing through the darkness.
"Where is she?" she demanded, voice steel and fire.
The voice rattled off an address. Jaeyi barely registered it over the deafening rush of blood in her ears.
It didn’t matter.
She was already on her way.
****************
Jaeyi arrived at the nightclub, fingers tightening around the steering wheel before she killed the engine. The moment she stepped inside, the thick scent of alcohol and sweat hit her, neon lights flashing erratically across the dimly lit space. Her breath came uneven, her heart pounding so fast it almost hurt. Her vision blurred with desperation as she scanned the room.
This was supposed to be a short gathering, a casual celebration with Seulgi’s friends after exams. Seulgi had invited her too, but Jaeyi had been buried in work and declined. She hadn’t thought much of it at the time. She trusted Seulgi.
But then Seulgi never came home.
Midnight had bled into 2 a.m., then 3, and now 4, with no response to any of her calls. Dread coiled in her gut like a vice.
Shoving past the crowd, she forced herself deeper into the chaos. The music throbbed in her skull, the flashing lights distorting everything around her. Then, her eyes locked onto something familiar.
Seulgi’s coat.
Draped over the back of a chair in a secluded booth, discarded carelessly, like an afterthought.
Jaeyi’s stomach dropped.
She pushed forward, grabbing the coat with trembling fingers. The fabric was unmistakable… this was Seulgi’s.
But Seulgi wasn’t there.
Instead, a man lounged lazily in the booth, swirling an empty glass in his hand. His gaze flicked up at Jaeyi, a slow smirk tugging at his lips. He tilted his glass in her direction, amusement glinting in his dark eyes.
“Looking for someone?”
Jaeyi’s blood ran cold. Her grip on the coat tightened.
The man let the silence stretch before nodding toward the back of the club. His voice was casual, almost indifferent.
“If you’re looking for the coat’s owner… check back there.”
Jaeyi didn’t wait for further explanation. She was already moving.
Shoving past the bodies in her way, she followed the dimly lit path toward the back. The pounding bass of the music throbbed against her skull, but all she could hear was the frantic beating of her own heart.
At the very end of the hallway, she spotted a restroom. The heavy door swung slightly ajar as someone stumbled out, the acrid stench of alcohol and vomit clinging to the air. Jaeyi barely hesitated before pushing inside.
Her panic drove her forward. She didn’t think, just acted. Her trembling fingers shoved open each stall door, one after another, her breath catching in her throat every time she found them empty.
Then, at the very last cubicle, she froze.
Seulgi was on the floor.
Bent over the toilet bowl, she was heaving, her entire body trembling as she threw up. Strands of dark hair clung to her sweat-dampened face, her normally bright eyes glazed over, barely registering the presence beside her.
Jaeyi’s breath hitched. Seulgi looked utterly wrecked, intoxicated beyond reason. Her limbs were limp, her skin clammy. She swayed slightly, struggling to keep herself upright.
Jaeyi dropped to her knees instantly.
“Seulgi,” she breathed, voice thick with worry.
Seulgi blinked sluggishly, her head lolling to the side as she tried to focus on the familiar voice. It took a few seconds before recognition flickered in her dazed eyes.
“Jae…” Seulgi mumbled weakly, barely above a whisper. Her lips parted as if she wanted to say more, but another wave of nausea hit her, and she hunched forward again dry heaving.
Jaeyi held Seulgi around the waist, steadying her trembling body. Carefully, she pulled her up, adjusting her grip as Seulgi swayed unsteadily.
“Come on, I’ve got you,” Jaeyi murmured, her voice softer now, but firm.
Seulgi barely responded, her weight pressing heavily against Jaeyi as she weakly slung an arm over her shoulder. Each step forward was slow and unsteady, but Jaeyi held on, refusing to let her fall.
The restroom door swung open as they stepped out, the suffocating heat of the club hitting them instantly. The pounding bass, the flashing lights, the sea of bodies… it all blurred into meaningless noise.
Someone called her name. Another tried to grab her attention. Jaeyi barely registered any of it.
Her focus was singular.
Woo Seulgi.
Nothing else mattered.
Jaw tight, she pushed forward, weaving through the crowd with unwavering determination.
She was getting Seulgi out of here. No matter what.
*******************
They finally made it home after what felt like an eternity. Seulgi had thrown up multiple times on the way, her body weak and uncooperative, and Jaeyi had to half-carry her through the door. The entire car ride had been spent with Seulgi slumped against the window, mumbling things Jaeyi couldn’t make out, her breath reeking of alcohol and exhaustion.
Jaeyi struggled to unlock the apartment door, her fingers trembling slightly, not from exertion, but from the lingering adrenaline that still pulsed through her veins. The panic from earlier hadn’t fully left her. It clung to her skin like a second layer, making it hard to think beyond the single, urgent thought: Get Seulgi home. Get her safe.
The door finally gave way, and Jaeyi guided her girlfriend inside, careful yet firm as she led her toward the couch. Seulgi barely had the strength to stand on her own, her legs weak beneath her. As soon as Jaeyi eased her down onto the cushions, she sank into them without protest.
A heavy sigh escaped Jaeyi’s lips. She took a step back, her gaze never leaving Seulgi. The girl shifted slightly, scrunching her nose, trying to find a comfortable position on the small couch. She curled up instinctively, the way she always did when she was exhausted, knees tucked close, fingers loosely gripping the fabric of Jaeyi’s sleeve as if afraid to let go.
Jaeyi almost smiled. Almost.
If it weren’t for the awful circumstances leading up to this, she might’ve found this moment cute. The way Seulgi grumbled something incoherent, her brows furrowed in frustration, the way she nestled deeper into the cushions like a sleepy kitten. But tonight, there was no warmth in the sight. Only worry.
Because this wasn’t like Seulgi.
Seulgi barely drank. Her alcohol tolerance was ridiculously low, Jaeyi knew that better than anyone. In all the time they had been together, Seulgi had always been careful, always mindful of her limits. She never let herself get reckless like this.
So why tonight?
Jaeyi swallowed hard, her chest tightening with something she couldn’t quite name. The rational part of her brain tried to reason it out, maybe Seulgi had just gotten carried away, maybe her friends had pressured her, maybe she hadn’t eaten enough before drinking.
But the panic in Jaeyi’s gut refused to settle.
She had spent years convincing herself that she could handle loss, that she was prepared for it. It was a belief she carried like armor… be ready, always expect the worst, never get too attached.
But standing here, watching Seulgi’s vulnerable form curled up on the couch, her normally bright eyes dulled by exhaustion and intoxication, Jaeyi realized something terrifying.
She wasn’t prepared at all.
Even the idea of losing Seulgi, no matter how small the chance, sent her spiraling. It cracked something deep inside her, a fear she wasn’t ready to face.
Jaeyi exhaled, long and slow, pressing her fingers against her temple in an attempt to steady herself. It wasn’t working. The residual panic from earlier still clawed at her chest, refusing to let go.
But Seulgi was home now. She was safe. That was all that mattered.
That was supposed to be all that mattered.
Letting out another quiet sigh, then her body moving almost mechanically. She made her way to the bathroom, grabbed a clean towel, and soaked it in cool water before retrieving a bottle from the fridge. By the time she returned to the couch, Seulgi hadn’t moved. Her body remained sprawled against the cushions, limbs slack with exhaustion.
Even in the dim glow of their apartment, Jaeyi could see the faint flush still lingering on Seulgi’s cheeks, the telltale sign of too much alcohol in her system. Her usually bright, sharp eyes were hidden beneath heavy lids, her breathing slow and deep. She looked small like this. Fragile, almost.
Jaeyi swallowed against the tightness in her throat and lowered herself onto her knees beside the couch. With careful, practiced movements, she pressed the damp towel to Seulgi’s forehead, dabbing away the sheen of sweat. The coolness must have felt soothing because Seulgi let out a soft, breathy sigh, shifting slightly against the cushions.
Jaeyi paused, watching her for a moment.
Then she set the water bottle aside before carefully unbuttoning the top of Seulgi’s blouse. Just enough to let her breathe easier. Every action was slow, deliberate… done with the quiet tenderness of someone who loved too much to let their concern show.
Her hands moved automatically, wiping the towel gently down Seulgi’s neck, along the curve of her jaw… until her fingers stopped.
Jaeyi stilled.
Her breath hitched.
Her heart, steady and focused only moments ago, slammed against her ribs in a sudden, violent surge.
She blinked, her vision narrowing.
There—
Just beneath Seulgi’s ear, barely visible under the dim lighting was a smudge of red.
Jaeyi’s entire body went rigid.
For a moment, her mind refused to process it.
But then the realization crashed into her, sharp and unforgiving.
Lipstick.
Her breath faltered, turning shallow and uneven.
Her fingers tightened around the damp towel, gripping the fabric with a force she didn’t recognize. Her chest felt too tight, too constricted like something was wrapping around her lungs and squeezing.
The color… deep, bold, not Seulgi’s stood stark against the delicate skin of her neck. It wasn’t an accidental smudge, it wasn't the result of carelessly applied makeup. No… this was placed there. Left there.
And it didn’t belong to her.
Jaeyi’s stomach twisted violently, nausea curling at the edges of her mind.
Someone else had been close enough to leave it. Close enough to lean in, to touch her, to—
She clenched her jaw, an unfamiliar wave of something dark and suffocating rising inside her.
Who?
Who had been close enough to leave their mark?
And why the hell hadn’t Seulgi stopped them?
The thought made Jaeyi sick.
Before she could stop herself, her hand moved, scrubbing at the stain with the towel in frantic, desperate strokes. The red faded almost instantly, disappearing into the fabric as if it had never existed at all.
But it had existed.
And its absence didn’t erase what it meant.
Her breaths came quicker now, shallow and uneven. Her fingers trembled where they gripped the towel, knuckles turning white.
Seulgi stirred slightly, a quiet mumble slipping from her lips… nonsensical, slurred. She shifted against the cushions, curling in on herself, utterly oblivious to the silent storm unraveling just inches away.
Jaeyi barely breathed.
The room suddenly felt too still, too silent, amplifying the deafening thrum of her heartbeat. She could hear it pounding against her ribs, a dull, relentless rhythm that matched the turmoil in her mind.
She should wake Seulgi up.
She should demand answers.
She should ask… no, force her to explain.
But her lips refused to move.
Her body felt cold. Hollow.
A terrible, gnawing feeling had begun to settle in her chest, wrapping around her ribs like something poisonous. It spread through her veins, slow and creeping, feeding off the doubts whispering in the back of her mind.
There had to be an explanation.
There had to be.
But then why couldn’t she bring herself to believe it?
Jaeyi clenched her jaw, her fingers still curled around the damp towel. The lipstick stain was gone now, wiped away in frantic, desperate strokes but the weight of it lingered, heavy and suffocating.
Her hands trembled.
She had never been the type to jump to conclusions, never the type to let insecurities take root in her mind. She had always prided herself on being rational, on being able to trust the person she loved.
But trust required certainty.
And right now, certainty felt just out of reach.
She sat there, staring at the space where the stain had been, her pulse ringing in her ears. The weight of an unspoken fear settled deep in her bones, dragging her down like an anchor.
And for the first time in a long, long while…
She was terrified of what had been playing in her mind.
Because once the seed of doubt was planted, it had a way of growing, twisting itself into something cruel and insidious.
And Jaeyi had no idea how to stop it.
*********************
“Miss Jaeyi…”
A voice called out, cutting through the silence.
No response.
Jaeyi remained motionless, her gaze fixed on the paper in front of her. The words on the document blurred together, meaningless lines of text that barely registered in her mind. It was as if she were trapped in a haze, floating somewhere between thought and reality, adrift in a world no one else could reach.
“Miss Jaeyi,” Irene tried again, her tone more insistent this time.
Jaeyi blinked.
Slowly, she turned her head, eyes landing on her assistant. Irene was standing near the desk, watching her with mild concern.
Jaeyi looked awful.
Her face was pale, almost ghostly under the office lights. Dark circles shadowed her eyes, evidence of a sleepless night, and without the usual touch of makeup, she looked… lost. Like someone who had wandered too far from home and forgotten the way back.
Irene hesitated, then pressed on. “Do you want to proceed with the meeting with Mr. Wong this evening?”
Jaeyi stared at her. The words were barely processed, like a distant echo passing through her mind.
Meeting? Mr. Wong?
The name meant nothing to her at this moment.
She was distracted. Her thoughts tangled, looping back to the same gnawing, sickening feeling that had been clawing at her since last night.
“Miss Jaeyi?”
Irene’s voice cut through the fog again. This time, there was a faint edge to it… curiosity, maybe even concern.
Jaeyi exhaled sharply, pressing her fingers against the space between her brows. A dull ache had been building there for hours, frustration and exhaustion intertwining like a vice around her skull.
She gritted her teeth.
“Cancel all my meetings,” she said, voice firm but laced with exhaustion. “Reschedule them for later. And you can leave early today.”
Irene’s brows lifted slightly in surprise, but she didn’t question the order.
Jaeyi leaned back in her chair, fingers tightening into a fist against her lap. “Make sure no one comes in.”
Irene hesitated for a brief moment, as if considering whether to say something. But in the end, she simply gave a small nod, bowing politely before turning on her heel and exiting the office.
The door clicked shut behind her.
Silence.
Jaeyi let out a slow, unsteady breath, her eyes shutting as she leaned back in her chair. She was exhausted… drained in a way that sleep couldn't fix. No matter how hard she tried to shake it, the weight of last night clung to her like a shadow, creeping into the corners of her mind, poisoning every thought.
She sighed, pressing both hands over her face, shutting her eyes tightly. Just breathe. A minute. Just one minute to calm herself, to silence the chaos roaring in her head.
But the image from last night kept replaying, over and over, like a broken record she couldn’t turn off.
That red stain. That damn lipstick mark on Seulgi’s neck.
Her gut twisted. The nausea was instant, curling deep in her stomach like a sickness she couldn’t rid herself of.
Someone had touched her. Someone had leaned in close—
…too close. Close enough to press their lips against Seulgi’s skin.
Something inside Jaeyi curled in on itself, tightening like a fist clenching around her ribs. Her fingers curled around the pen in her hand that she reached on her desk, like a tether.
This wasn’t about trust.
She knew it. She has thought about it.
She had never once doubted Seulgi’s loyalty.
This was something else. Something entirely different.
The problem wasn’t Seulgi.
It was her.
She was terrified of herself.
Her body tensed.
The pen she held felt foreign now, sharp and heavy, a lifeline to the present reality that she couldn’t escape. She tightened her grip, her knuckles going pale, but it was like trying to hold onto something slippery, the pressure making her fingers ache. She was suffocating, caught between the urge to lash out and the terror of losing control.
This was something darker, something deep within her that was clawing its way out. A part of her… one that had been dormant for so long, buried beneath years of calculated indifference and discipline was waking up. She had never been like this. But now, she could feel it, hot and cold in the pit of her chest… a dangerous, possessive pull that seethed with every passing second.
The thought of Seulgi being touched by someone else, of someone else’s lips marking her skin, made Jaeyi’s blood turn to fire. Her skin burned with the desire to claim what was hers, to mark her territory in a way that no one could ever challenge.
But it wasn’t just anger. It was fear. Fear of losing Seulgi. Fear of becoming someone else… someone who would destroy everything out of sheer desperation to hold on.
She's one who had never shared. Not in her family, not in her previous relationships, not in her career. Everything in her life had been a competition for the one thing she could control… her success. And now, Seulgi was the one thing she couldn't bear to let go of.
The thought of someone else being with Seulgi… touching her, felt like a betrayal so personal it nearly ripped her apart. Her mind was a battlefield, and the war inside her was one she wasn’t prepared to fight.
The weight of it all… this terrifying, suffocating need was too much.
Jaeyi’s chest heaved, and she let out a low, shaky breath, feeling the edge of panic clawing at her throat. Her eyes, still shut, burned with unshed tears she refused to let fall.
What if Seulgi ever saw her like this? What if Seulgi knew just how much control she was losing? Would she still look at her with that warmth in her eyes, or would the love between them snap, crumbling beneath the weight of Jaeyi’s possessiveness?
Would Seulgi leave her?
Jaeyi opened her eyes slowly, as if seeing the world for the first time through a haze. Her hands were still shaking, the pen still gripped in her fingers, threatening to snap.
She wanted to break something… anything. Something to get rid of this knot in her chest, to escape the madness that was bubbling up inside her.
The urge was there… visceral, ugly, overwhelming.
She wanted to find the person who had touched Seulgi. She wanted to erase them, to make sure they never tried again.
More than that, she wanted to lock Seulgi away. Keep her safe. Keep her close. Keep her... hers.
The thought alone made her sick.
But more than that, she wanted Seulgi… only Seulgi and the thought of losing her made her feel like she was drowning in something too dark, too twisted to escape.
And that terrified her.
The silence around her felt thick and oppressive, the air too heavy to breathe.
She didn’t have answers.
And maybe that was the worst part.
The office around her felt suffocating, too bright, too sterile, too ordinary for the chaos that was consuming her from the inside out. Her chest ached, tight and raw, as if something inside her were clawing to break free, desperate for release.
She stared at the pen in her hand. It was small, insignificant, yet it felt like the only thing anchoring her to any semblance of reality. Its dark ink was like a silent warning, and she couldn't escape its pull.
She should be doing something. Anything. She should think, clear her head, and make sense of the storm inside her. But every time she tried to focus, the memory of Seulgi and the lipstick mark resurfaced, too vivid, too haunting.
That red stain. Too bold. Too permanent.
Her breath quickened, her chest tightening with a hot, blinding anger. How dare they? How dare anyone invade her space, her world, without understanding the consequences?
She closed her eyes, but the image didn’t fade. In fact, it felt like it had become her new reality.
Get a grip, she told herself, trying to calm the chaos. This is crazy. You can’t act like this.
But it was impossible to push the feelings down. They were growing, expanding, consuming her, until there was nothing left but this burning need… this hunger that was primal and fierce, thrumming through her veins like wildfire.
Jaeyi leaned forward, elbows on her knees, hands pressed hard against her face as though she could stop the tremors with sheer force of will. Her mind was a battlefield, logic warring with emotion, but there was no clarity, just this gnawing, desperate hunger she couldn’t suppress.
She didn’t want to hurt Seulgi. She didn’t want to lose her. But deep down, Jaeyi could feel a darker side of herself rising, a side that longed to own, to possess everything about Seulgi, her heart, her mind, her body.
No, she thought, shaking her head, but even that small denial felt weak, like a whisper against the storm that raged within her.
The worst part was that she knew—knew—if Seulgi saw this side of her, this madness brewing inside, she’d never look at her the same way again. Could Seulgi still love her if she knew what Jaeyi was capable of? Could she still want her?
The fear was suffocating, but it only made the desire grow stronger, more insistent. Jaeyi wanted to scream, to tear through the walls of her office, to break something…anything to force the world to stop spinning, to freeze long enough so she could make sense of it all.
But there was no time. No moment to just breathe, to gather herself before the storm hit.
The world was spinning too fast, and she was losing control.