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The lounge was too quiet.
Luis’s fingers fidgeted anxiously against his knee, the finger tap-tap-tapping on its own accord. His knuckles on the other hand were busy being wedged between his teeth. The padding sound was nearly impossible to hear, but the rhythm, even if imagined, was at least something Luis could hang on to.
The window overlooking the airport runway was dark, the strips of lights illuminating the pavement disappearing further into the distance than Luis could track with his glasses folded in his lap. The lights seemed to twist, bending this way and that… He blinked, clearing the vertigo from his eyes. It did little to clear his vision. He didn’t have any tears left in his system, but his eyes still burned and stubbornly stayed unfocused like more motion might pour out of him any second.
He was in hell.
A hand reached over and squeezed Luis’s knee, dragging him from his thoughts. Luis glanced over. Jill didn’t met his eye, staring straight at a screen hanging over the lobby.
“Plane’s landing.” She said.
Sniffing, Luis nodded.
Jill wasn’t the first person he would have liked to call in this situation. Hell, Jill certainly didn’t love being here. She wasn’t exactly the comforting cry on my shoulder type. But she was the only person around that knew Leon, and….
Luis stilled as another rush of despair swelled in his chest.
And he couldn’t stand to be alone right now.
It was an eternity watching the plane land, though most likely it was just a matter of minutes. Time had been hard ever since he got that call Hunnigan. The call he’d been dreading for the last eight years.
Luis blinked. Somehow, there were more tears threatening to spill out of him.
“Fuck.” Luis swore under his shaky breath, wiping the butt of his palm into his eye. “I—I can ‘t do this.”
“It’ll be quick.” Jill promised. Her hand patted once on his back shoulder then quickly retreated. “Just a look and its over.”
He had to repress the urge to chuckle, as dry as it might have been. Jill was so much like Leon, pulling away the second she offered any affection. Sweet, in her own gruff, not so good at showing it way. Her hand worked uselessly in her fist, her stare still locked awkwardly up at the television screen over the lobby. Physically too now, Luis thought guiltily. Her roots shown blonde under the peak of her cap and her skin stubbornly switched between bleached pale or wickedly sunburned… Luis chewed on his bottom lip in a vain attempt to stop the rising sob as the similarities between the two continued to pile up. When her eye glanced his way, he offered her a smile, as lifeless as it felt.
Jill looked away from the screen as the door connecting the plane to to lobby opened. She didn’t offer Luis a smile, but she at least managed to hold his gaze as she nodded toward the gate. “Come on.”
It’d been 36 hours since Luis received word that Leon had died.
The worst part was that Leon wasn’t even in the field. He was working security on some silly parading event at a college campus of all things. It was supposed to be a single evening. Then Leon was supposed to be home just a little later than he usually was. It was nothing. An errand for an easy extra paycheck Leon was going to make up for taking by treating them both to dinner later that night. Luis was washing up for the date—even if it was cheap, late night diner food, when Leon’s handler called his phone for the first time.
Luis let himself be lead numbly to the gate, putting on his glasses in a rehearsed motion like moving through a dream.
The last day had been a blur. People from the government kept coming to his door, checking Leon’s stuff and asking questions Luis couldn’t answer and others he wouldn’t. Jill had swept in sometime around noon, barely put together herself. And the two spent the afternoon…. It was fuzzy. There were phone calls, car rides, stints of silence and unanswered questions that all blurred together until he found himself here, at the plane Hunnigan texted—texted, of all things, to tell him not miss.
Leon had been working just an hour north of here. What the hell was his body doing on a plane back from Hong Kong?
A few late night passengers shambled out of the plane, looking jet lagged and tired. They paid him and Jill little mind, some meeting family in the lobby, most stumbling toward the luggage bay. After a few minutes of silence, Luis turned toward Jill.
“Do they—do they just wheel the body out?” Luis asked, his voice catching over body. “He couldn’t have been infected with anything if its public air, right?”
He swallowed the lump in his throat. That’s how Leon wanted to go. Something normal, something that wouldn’t leave him mutated or in a state to hurt others. But the thought of Leon going so normally, in some way that was certainly preventable…. It was almost worse than him getting infected.
“I’m sure we’ll meet somebody here.” Jill muttered, though her own gaze betrayed her own uncertainty.
Given their occupations, they’d both been called in to identify bodies before, even if Jill’s job called for it more often. But every aspect of Leon’s death was wrong. The job, lack of information, the people at the house…. And being sent here set off every damn nerve Luis had. Something was wrong and he was in no state to figure out what it was.
The minutes continued to pass.
Jill set her jaw, turning to the front desk. “Can we just step onto the plane?”
The man at the gate was about to open his mouth when Luis’s attention was pulled away by a muffled, but familiar voice.
“Let’s get the fuck out of here, huh?”
The voice was quiet and exhausted, no doubt not intending to travel as far as it had, but his husband had a tendency to speak louder than he should when he was a certain level of exhausted.
Luis took a step forward, his knee nearly buckling with the shaking move. “...Leon?”
“I never even want to look at a plane again,” A woman’s voice bemoaned, equally muffled by distance, as a pair of footsteps began padding down the hall connecting the plane to the lobby.
A grim chuckled followed, “Just don’t look out the window when we get off.”
Luis’s chest tightened when once again Leon’s voice responded.
He was walking toward the gate before Luis realized his legs were moving. “Leon?” Luis rounded the corner into the thin corridor.
Beaten and bruised, Leon stood at the end of the hall, leaning on a battered woman for support just as much as she leaned on him.
Leon’s face bloomed as Luis stumbled into view, his brow dipping in confusion.
“Luis?” Leon smiled, rushing forward to meet. “What are you doing here?”
His eyes looked Luis up and down.
“Jesus,” Leon said more quietly, “Are you okay? You look…”
Like shit? Leon’s eyed Luis’s sweatpants and hoodie with the same concern as if he’d found Luis nude as the day he was born in the airport. When he gazed onto Luis and met glasses, not contacts, his hand wrapped protectively behind Luis’s waist. “...You’re dressed down.”
If his brain was working properly, Luis might have laughed at the blatant attempt to be polite.
Luis nearly feel into Leon tripping as he stumbled forward and cupping Leon’s face in his hands. Leon’s warm body pressed against his. He nearly gasped as Leon’s steady presence held, catching Luis as they awkwardly embraced with the woman still leaning on Leon for support.
“Luis?”
He didn’t bother to stop the choked sob that rose out of his throat.
Real. Leon was real.
“Oh my god.” Luis surged forward, wrapping his arms around Leon. Leon flinched, the woman grunting as Luis snaked his way between them.
“Ow.” Leon groaned.
Luis pulled back, glancing Leon up and down. There were bandages under his eye and bruises along his neck. A gnarly yellow mark was forming under one of his eyes, but most importantly, Leon was here. He was alive.
Leon’s expression deepened, his brow dipping lower. “Luis? What’s wrong?”
“How?” Luis shook his head. He pulled Leon closer, pressing Leon’s forehead to his own. Leon reeked of sanitizer and cheap shampoo but it didn’t matter. Luis pulled him closer. “I thought you were dead.”
“What? I’m not—” Leon’s arm tightened around Luis’s waist. His mouth feel open and snapped shut. “I didn’t die. Sweetheart, I’m not dead.”
The woman beside Leon stilled. She leaned forward, glancing at Leon’s squashed face between Luis’s hands. Her eye caught the silver ring on his hand.
“You’re married?” She gruffed out.
“Yeah?” Leon muttered, his other arm going up to cup Luis’s neck. “Does it matter?”
Luis grip tightened despite himself. “What do you mean ‘does it matter?’”
“I don’t mean it like that.” Leon whispered softly, shooting an annoyed glance at the woman.
Luis glanced over. Leon was never one to socialize with his coworkers, but Luis was sure he’d seen this woman before during one of his expeditions to bother Leon at the office. Sure was a young thing. A bit prickly, but most people in bioweapon security tended to be. Helena, he thought her name was.
“You told Hunnigan to fake our deaths!” Helena hissed. “Of course she called next of kin.”
The relief quickly drained from Luis’s system.
“You what.”
“To the government!” Leon said. “Hunnigan didn’t tell you that I died, did she?”
Luis lowered his hands, stepping back. Leon’s hands gripped at his waist but they fell as Luis retreated.
Leon’s face fell. “Luis. Ingrid didn’t tell you I died, right?”
“Luis?” Jill called.
Luis couldn’t bring himself to turn as Jill entered the corridor, his eyes locked on Leon. Breathing. Scratched up. Barely managing to stand.
“...Leon?” Jill asked. “You’re alive?”
Luis felt his jaw lock in place. “He is.”
Leon’s face paled. “Oh god.”
The next few minutes were a blur as they moved somewhere more private. It wasn’t hard at this hour, the airport being mostly empty.
Luis stayed at the front of the group, nimbly avoiding Leon’s grasp with an energy he frankly hadn’t had just minutes ago.
“I’m sorry.” Leon repeated as they rounded into a darkened alcove, an abandoned lobby not used for some time by unpowered screens hanging above the dusty chairs.
Luis spun on his heel, nearly bringing his nose to Leon’s. “You let me think you were dead!” Luis hissed. He gawked as Leon grabbed at his wrist, scrambling back like an angry child. If he wasn’t so furious, so tired, maybe he would have pulled away with more grace, but with his throat still raw from weeping over the dead man that was very much not currentlytrying to grab hold of him, Luis found himself caring very little how he looked at the moment.
“I didn’t think Hunnigan would take it that far!” Leon said, not getting the hint and going for Luis’s wrist once more. Luis grunted as he was pulled back into Leon’s arm but still turned his face defiantly to the side, denying Leon eye contact.
“It was for the best.” Helena said, half in explanation to Jill, half in defense of Leon. “I, uh, dragged Leon into a bit of trouble.”
“Dragged?” Luis huffed. “Leon finds trouble. I doubt you did anything he wouldn’t have involved himself in anyway.”
By the way Leon’s jaw clenched, Luis knew he’d struck a nerve too close to the truth.
“It was to protect you.” Leon said.
“Bull!” Luis turned to meet Leon’s gaze. “That’s an after thought and you know it!”
Leon flinched, just barely. “...Did they come to the house?”
Luis felt his face grow hotter. “Yes.”
Leon didn’t answer, looking away.
“What were you two doing?” Jill asked coldly. Despite being the odd one out, she still matched the groups barely put together appearance, looking just a touch more held together than Luis purely by the virtue of her wearing real pants along side her ratty sweatshirt and mess of a hair covering cap.
Helena and Leon took their time explaining their escapades. Escaping a Bioweapon attack at the college and the plot they’d uncovered by a some big name in the government Luis should have recognized but didn’t. His heart twisted when Helena glazed over her own sister’s recent death, giving Leon only the slightest look. His own personal heartache had been relieved, at least. The poor woman continued, explaining their travels to China and the bio attack they had managed to curb the worst of.
Luis’s own frazzled nerves were beginning to sooth when Leon opened his stupid mouth.
“That’s when Chris confronted Ada.” Leon added on to Helena’s story.
Jill’s head snapped up.
“You saw Chris?”
Leon cocked his head as if Jill’s sudden interest were baffling. “Yeah?”
“He was in Hong Kong?” Jill repeated. When Leon nodded his head, she surged forward, grabbing Leon by either side of his jacket. Helena and Luis both stumbled aside.
Leon let out a strangled grunt as he was lifted and pulled forcefully up to Jill’s face. “And you let him leave?”
“What—” Leon struggled, pushing Jill away but failing to free himself. “Chris can take care of himself! What are you—” Leon froze as realization dawned on him for the second time that night.
Jill didn’t give Leon a chance to voice his mistake himself. “He’s been missing for six month you fucking dumbass!” Jill pushed him out of the way, stumbling back as her own chest heaved.
“He was with Piers!” Leon bit back. “I thought he must be fine!” It was unwise to fight back with Jill— her eyes burned, and for a second Luis considered burying his own anger and throwing himself over Leon to protect his battered body from the tackle that was surely coming his way, but Jill caught herself.
“Fine?” Jill huffed. She shoved Leon instead “He’s been missing and concussed for half a year and you thought him showing up in an active bioattack was fine?”
She stepped forward again and this time Luis did step between the two. When Jill’s hand clamped onto Luis’s shoulder, it hurt.
“Claire and Rebecca have been in some backwater overseas city for days looking for him,” Jill’s voice shook as she spoke, the anger at Leon bleeding into her own inability for not yet being cleared to fly to help in the search. “It’s been slow because apparently, Chris hasn’t even been able to tell the locals his name.” Her hand shook as it went to cover the still healing scar on her chest. “And you find out Piers dragged him into the field without telling anyone he’s okay and you just think that’s fine?!”
Leon stepped back, deflating. “I didn’t think—”
“Course you didn’t think!” Jill snapped. “That’s the problem. Nobody fucking thinks. When I get my fucking hands on Piers, I, I….” She shook her head, the frustration stealing her of her words. Luis grunted as he was pushed aside, Jill going out of her way to bump her shoulder into Leon as she strode through the dark hall of the airport. “I have to make a phone call.”
Grunting, Leon rolled his shoulder and returned to the group, no longer having to back away from the angry animal that had been ready to tear his throat out. Luis repressed a growl when Leon saddled next to him instead.
“For what it’s worth, I really didn’t remember.” Leon muttered. “Chris is usually so put together. I saw him and I just assumed….” Leon trailed off with a shrug.
Luis couldn’t bring himself to comfort Leon in the moment, so he just grunted.
Helena rubbed the back of her neck, to her credit staying quiet during Jill’s outburst, but clearly reaching the limit of her patience.
“It’s been a really long day,” Helena said. “I’m going home.”
“Are you sure that’s a good idea? You just lost somebody.” Leon asked, decidedly not using Helena’s sisters name. The sudden shift to concern pulled a string in Luis’s heart. This quiet Leon that rarely made an appearance, so thoughtful and caring towards others, was what made him fall for the man in the first place. He watched as Leon placed a hand on Helena’s back, carefully pulling her close. Not quiet for a hug but a comforting gesture nonetheless. Despite the age difference between the two not being near big enough to be plausable, the pose of was reminiscent of a father curling around a daughter too grown to justify pulling her into his arms any longer. Luis smiled as Helena gave him a weak smile, clearly uncomfortable with receiving comfort but just as unwilling to pull away and end the moment.
Leon would have been about Helena’s age when Raccoon city fell, Luis realized with a stab.
“You shouldn’t be alone after a thing like that.” Leon continued.
Anger flooded back into Luis’s system.
“But I could be?” Luis couldn’t stop the words from spilling out.
Leon recoiled. “Luis, I didn’t—”
“No, take care of Helena.” Luis muttered, reaching into his pocket. With shacking hands, he pulled free a single key from the ring and tossed the car keys in Leon’s general direction. “You’re right, no body should be alone after their loved one passes.” He was nearly choking on his rising voice now, turning away before Leon and Helena could watch the hot tears bubbling at the corners of his vision. “I’ll wait in the car.” His voice cracked.
He was rushing out of the lobby before the keys hit the floor, Leon calling after him as tired, angry sobs racked his chest.
The drivers side door clicked as it opened. Luis didn't look, keeping his gaze steely as he stared out the open passenger window.
"I—” Leon trailed off, letting his words die in the empty cab.
Leon sighed when Luis didn’t offer any response other than a hearty, post sob sniff. He started the car without reopening any argument and started the drive home.
Cold wind nipped uncomfortably his cheeks but Luis dared not close the window, lest it be taken as an opportunity to talk, which he wasn't ready for. Instead he exhaled, watching as white smoke from his cigarette disappeared with his breath.
"When did you start smoking again?" Leon asked as they rounded the final turn towards home.
"When I found out my husband died." Luis snapped.
Leon looked back at the road, setting his jaw.
The car pulled into the driveway in silence.
"I'm sure you want to shower," Luis muttered, getting out. Leon grumbled something in agreement but it was lost as Luis excused himself into the house. He was already in the bedroom when he heard Leon make his way inside. The door shut nearly silently. It wasn't until Leon hit the hall did Luis hear Leon rip off his coat and throw it so hard down the hall it hit the wall with an almost frightening thud. The bathroom door slammed and eventually water started to run.
Luis sat on the bed and held his head in his hands.
After a long while, the water stopped. Leon stayed in the bathroom much longer than he usually did. Luis stared down at the hands in his lap, waiting patently.
“Leon?” Luis called after the silence dragged on too long.
Instead of a response, the bathroom door cracked open. The hall went dark after Leon clicked off the light off behind himself and he slowly appeared in the doorway.
His hair was still wet, holding the towel at his hip. Leon blinked slow, his posture terrible and slouched. Luis gave him a sad smile. He looked like he was about to fall over.
“You’ve been crying.” Leon managed.
“Yeah.”
Leon paused for a moment, gauging if it was acceptable to enter their bedroom. Luis opened his arms, making the decision for him, “Let me hold you?”
By the time Leon shuffled over, he nearly collapsed into Luis’s arms.
“Can we good?” Leon muttered, not bothering to lift his face from Luis’s shoulder. “I’m so tired and I—” Leon’s body shifted with a mighty sniff, “I really missed you.”
Luis pulled his legs up onto the bed, curling around Leon’s body in his lap. Leon smelt more like himself, his hair finger combed into its normal style, his skin no longer blemished with stains and grime. Fresh sickly yellow bruises covered his back. Luis pulled him closer. “I suppose.”
Leon moaned but let himself be pulled in.
“What happened?” Luis asked.
Leon shook his head. “It was bad.” His usual bravado faded and Leon sighed too heavily for a man as young as him to sigh. Not that they were young by any means, but the two of them were far from old quiet yet. “It was really bad.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
Luis could have safety bet any amount of money on Leon’s answer but he still had to ask just in case Leon surprised him one day with a ‘yes’. But that day was not today. Leon’s head shook into Luis’s shoulder. “Maybe later.”
The towel was forgotten as Leon repositioned, crawling unashamed into Luis’s lap. Luis held him close.
He’d almost lost this. Luis traced Leon’s ribs, the path along his sides as familiar to him now as his own body. Maybe more so.
A strangled whimper rose out of his throat which he immediately buried by tucking himself over Leon’s body. God, he’d nearly lost his Leon.
“I’m sorry.” Leon whispered.
Luis whimpered, letting his hands trail Leon’s back. Leon shook like he hand when they were first together. Leon’s nightmares had been so bad then. He hadn’t known of course. Not until Leon had fallen asleep during a movie one night and he’d woken crying as the music swelled and an actor from Toronto screamed and fell to her demise. Luis pet the space between Leon’s shoulder blades as he did then, using his other hand to guide Leon’s face into his shoulder.
“You have an impeccable talent for making a mess of things,” Luis managed. He sniffed, rubbing his face into Leon’s crown.
This was real.
Luis screwed shut his eyes, burying himself in Leon’s damp hair. “That’s supposed to be my job, Sancho.”
If he hadn’t been holding Leon so closely, Luis might have missed the weak chuckle that rose out of Leon.
“Give me your hand.” Luis demanded. Used to his games, Leon unwrapped on of his hands from Luis’s shirt and slid it into Luis’s hand. With his free hand, Luis fished into the pocket of his sweatpants. Leon looked up just enough to catch his own wedding band being pulled free.
“Luis—”
“Hush,” Luis took Leon’s hand and slid the ring on. It was a few years old now but Leon’s ring still shined like it was new, in part of how often it sat in their bedside drawer. Luis knew that would be the case when they agreed to wed—a downside of Leon’s occupation, yes, but also because Leon was such a creature of habit that he forgot to put in on save for special events and Luis’ gentle chiming.
“You know, I was almost glad you never wear this when I heard you’d died,” Luis shook as a sob stopped in his throat. Leon rose a hand to comfort him, but Luis shook his head.
Luis stared at the ring, lacing his fingers with Leon’s. The golden ring sat warm on Leon’s finger, contrasting the cold silver ring on Luis’s own hand. He’d planned to give Leon his grandfather’s ring but the stubborn fool insisted on proposing before Luis had a chance to.
Luis let himself cry, bringing his and Leon’s joined hands to his lips. “At least I still had something of you.”
He felt Leon shift in his lap and Leon’s free hand cupped the back of his head.
“It almost makes up for me not wearing, huh?” Leon’s voice curled with apology, which alongside the obvious tears on his cheeks and a stupid, sad little grin on his face were Leon’s saving grace.
“It absolutely does not.” Luis sniffled, grabbing Leon by that rarely seen smile that’d made him swoon in the first place. He’d worked hard to earn every single one of those smiles and Luis knew even now he had to cherish them, lest Leon forget how pretty he was when he let joy grace his features.
He pulled Leon’s face into his own and brought Leon close for a kiss. It was gentle—gentler than most of Leon’s home comings. Those were usually tired and still hot off adrenaline and Luis’s own relief to see Leon home in one piece. They usually led to clashing of teeth and such shortness of breath that it was rare things usually ended with just kisses and sweet nothings. But now, Leon whimpered quietly, returning the kiss with as much slow and careful energy as Luis did.
Luis ran his free hand against Leon’s temple as they parted.
“I’ll just have to keep you around more to make sure you wear it.” Luis said.
Leon’s eyes shut. “Luis—”
“Please,” He couldn’t help it. Desperation flooded into Luis’s voice. “Leon, please. You have to quit. I can’t—” Luis shook his head, pressing his forehead into Leon’s. “Please. I can’t loose you again. You don’t know—I—Leon, I can’t loose you again. I won’t live through it.”
Leon shook his head as the old argument reared it’s ugly head. “Luis, you know why I can’t.” But Leon trailed off, his eyes suddenly going far. His brow furrowed.
Leon slowly leaned into Luis’s chest, letting himself be held once more. His voice suddenly got very quiet.
“I can’t make any promises yet,” Leon whispered. He squeezed Luis’s hand, taking his own turn to bring their joined hands to his lips. Despite the commonplace of the gesture in their home, Luis’s heart fluttered as the kiss to his ring finger parted and Leon brought their intertwined fingers to rest over his heart. “But things changed today. I might actually be able too.”
“You promise?”
Despite everything, Leon shot up an annoyed glance. Luis chuckled, partially at himself for blurting out.
“I’m sorry, sorry,” Luis let himself smile—he’d hadn’t done that very mu c h the last day. “I know, ‘ no promises ’... just... I’m so happy to have you back.”
Leon hummed, squeezing Luis’s hand as fresh tears started down his face.
“It’s okay,” Leon murmured, his thumb rubbing circles over Luis’s own. “You can’t get rid of me that easily.”
There was no telling when the two of them fell alseep—or rather, when the two of them passed out from exhaustion. But when the morning did come, Luis found the man who owned his heart breathing safely in his arms like he thought he’d never get to do again. He held Leon and prayed he would never have to loose him again.