Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Haven't I given enough, given enough?
Haven't I given enough, given enough?

Always the fool with the slowest heart
But I know you'll take me with you
We'll live in spaces between walls

Gilded Lily-Cults

They were at the fair in Kalhn. This event only happened once a year, and the girls were extremely eager to attend. Naturally, their master could not refuse, especially since it was Coco’s first fair and would be an opportunity for her to meet with Tartah. They seemed to be getting close lately. The four girls had decided to explore on their own, and since three of them were already familiar with the city, Qifrey reluctantly agreed to let them go without him, provided they stayed together. Olruggio and Qifrey found themselves alone, something that rarely happened. Most of the time, they were with the girls from dawn until dusk, especially Qifrey. Olruggio often worked in his atelier at night. Occasionally, they had matters to attend to, in which case they would usually leave the house under each other's care. Within the daily routine they had created for themselves, they were always together, but never truly together. Now that they were alone, they found themselves unsure of what to do.

“Would you like to visit the town ?” Qifrey asked, almost cheerfully.

“Well, we already know this town…”

Qifrey hits him gently with the back of his hand, his eyebrows forming a frown as if to say, ‘Are you playing dumb or what ?’.

“It’s fair day, silly. We might come across some interesting spells. I say we look at the shops! We’ll start from the opposite side of the city so the girls don’t feel like we are following them.”

Qifrey was already heading down the street with his long legs, looking back every ten steps to check if Olly was still behind him.

“Why did you even ask me ?” Olruggio mutters, not without a discreet smile, before following Qifrey’s steps.

They start their visit across the city. Everything is so colourful. Whenever they raised their eyes, they could see pennant garlands and decorations. Instruments were playing by themselves at each corner. The atmosphere was hectic. However, despite their whereabouts and their joyful conversation, both of them were starting to feel overwhelmed by the crowd. Qifrey was pulling the fabric of his turtleneck, meaning that he was too hot, and Olruggio just gave his coldest stare to a man who accidentally shoved him. Olruggio breathes deeply, and the slight anger in his eyes fades. Qifrey grabs Olruggio’s thick cloak.

“Do you remember the nice park from last year? It was quite calm. Would you mind going there while we wait for the time to join the girls ?”

“Brilliant idea. I’ll follow you.”

They headed towards the west of the city, walking along the fortified edges of the island. They eventually ended up in a large park. The grass was bright green thanks to the fountain in the middle. It was more crowded than last year, but at least they could stretch their arms here. They looked for a place to sit. The area around the fountain was clear, but simply because of the droplets of water it was releasing. Since Qifrey didn't like to get wet, it wasn’t the perfect place. They didn't even need to speak to think of these things. Olly just knew. This thought brings a smile to Qifrey’s face. Being so close to someone that you eventually start thinking the same way was truly a comforting feeling. Nothing surprising, however, considering the amount of time they spent together. Olruggio notices a couple leaving their bench. He nudges Qifrey and points at the bench with his head.

“You sit, and I'll fetch us something to eat, alright? I’ll be back in fifteen minutes,” suggests Olruggio.

Qifrey nods and sits down. Indeed, all the shops on the street near them were packed with people, hence the wait. Qifrey doesn’t mind, he is a patient man. He takes off his cloak, but that doesn't make him feel much cooler since the sun now hits directly on his black turtleneck. He could use magic, but this feeling is part of the summer experience, so he doesn’t want to get rid of it. From one of his pockets, he takes a book covered in brown leather and starts reading. He feels so comfortable here. The birds are singing from the tree behind him, summer is on its way, and Olruggio will soon be back. He even lets out a sigh of contentment.

“May I sit with you ?”

Qiefrey’s eye widened. He knows that voice. But from where? He closes his book as the woman sits, without waiting for an answer. She sat at his right, so he had to turn his head completely to see her properly.

“Isaia…What are you doing here?”

“I always perform at the fair. Even if I do not live here, my group is here.”

Qifrey nods. He is not at ease anymore. He barely remembers her. What group is she even talking about? He made sure to choose someone from far away so that they don’t interfere with his life. Obviously, he did not do enough research here. His muscles are tense. Olruggio must not see her.

“And there you are, reading alone, bathing in sunlight. I thought I had to say hello.”

“That’s very kind of you, Isaia.”

“Indeed indeed indeed…Do you know what is not kind? Disappearing into the night without saying goodnight to the woman you just slept with !”

She slaps him, and his glasses fall off his nose and fly off into the distance. Immediately, the sun attacks his retina. Pain makes him wince. He protects his eye with his hand, squinting to find his glasses on the grass. Isaia has the decency to give them back to him. Miraculously, very few people were paying attention to them. They were hidden behind a high bush, and besides an old lady staring from the entrance of the park, everyone was focused on their own conversation.

“You came to see me in my city every week for two entire months. No one puts so much effort into a one-night stand! And after that, nothing! Did you even receive my letters? Or have you given me a false address ?”

“I am afraid I did.”

After this confession, her shoulders drop. She sits again. Her anger has been replaced by disappointment.

“I see. So for you it was clear from the very beginning.”

Qifrey nodded, trying discreetly to make sure that Olruggio was nowhere to be seen.

“I was starting to like you.”

“That’s exactly why I left.”

“How magnanimous”

They both lightly smile, out of shame and embarrassment for Qifrey, out of nostalgia for Isaia. Out of nowhere, she cups his face and kisses him. The kiss is long, not bad, but Qifrey is not exactly pleased to do it. He doesn't reject her because he feels like he owes it to her. She releases him and picks up her bag.

“Goodbye, Qifrey.”

She leaves the park, and the old woman gazes at her as she walks by, definitely surprised by the odd course of events. He waits for her to leave his sight before wiping his mouth with his wrist. Olruggio arrives only a few minutes later. Qifrey silently thanks his lucky star. That was close.

*********

Olruggio reviews the purchases in his hands. He bought each of them a fruit skewer covered in chocolate because Qifrey loves it. For the main course, he chose sandwiches. For some reason, the man who made them put tiny windmills on top. A small seal was maintaining the movement. Why? These are sandwiches. This product is not specifically made for kids. Usually, this type of windmill can be found next to the sea, where there is actual wind. But Kalhn was just a small island in the middle of a river. There is no wind here. It does not make any sen-
Olruggio’s train of thought is abruptly halted when he turns to enter the park. His heart sinks deep, while his stomach lifts in horror. He feels suddenly sick, afraid he will fall to his knees. He does not want to witness this. Olruggio steps back into the street. He yearns to return to that sweet moment three seconds ago when he still had hope that maybe, eventually, his feelings were mutual. He realizes that he has stopped breathing. He tries to inhale, but now it feels like there is too much air. He is in such a state that he doesn’t even notice that the woman passing in front of him, adjusting her purple pointy hat, is the one Qifrey was kissing. Otherwise, he certainly would have asked her questions. Who is she? Why now, here? How long has this been going on? Why on earth had Qifrey never mentioned her? Does Qifrey like women? This last question felt like swallowing a brick. He had never even considered the idea. For years, when their fingers brushed, he had the sense that Qifrey was feeling butterflies in his stomach, just like him. All those knowing looks… Had he been imagining all of this? Despite his efforts not to show it, he was an optimist. Although this was a level of delusion to which he was not accustomed. He closes his eyes, trying to think rationally. He should not even be mad at Qifrey. He is his best friend. He never told him how he felt. He has no right to feel this frustrated. Qifrey is entitled to have relationships like this. What hurts the most is the necessity to do it behind his back. Once again, Olruggio breathes deeply. He should give him a chance. There is no way he could act completely normal two minutes after kissing someone. He will talk to him. Of course, he will. Olruggio recovers his composure, slightly counting on Qifrey’s poor eyesight to hide any flaws in his mask. He joins Qifrey, forcing himself to walk nonchalantly. He sits at his left, as usual.

“I took us some sandwiches and fruits for dessert”

“That's perfect my dear, thank you.”

Qifrey puts his book back in his pocket and grabs the sandwich Olruggio gives to him. Olly places the skewer between them, carefully wrapped in paper.

“It truly looks great for a sandwich.”

“Of course it does. I would have taken something different otherwise.”

Indeed, the food was surprisingly colourful. The sandwich was made out of brown seed bread. The salad was green and crunchy, the bacon was crispy, and the tomato juicy. Qifrey took a large bite. His eyes sparkled with contentment. He realised how hungry he had been. Olruggio felt sick. If Qifrey was able to be this natural right after such an event, how many other times had he missed a lie? Olruggio wanted to wait. Qifrey would open up eventually.

“Who was this woman ?”

Qifrey froze. The question had slipped between Olruggio’s teeth. He didn’t want to ask, but apparently, his brain would have exploded if he had not. The white witch finished chewing slowly, buying himself some time. He wouldn’t dare to pretend he did not know what Olruggio was talking about. It would be insulting his best friend's intelligence. He swallowed with great difficulty. He thought about erasing Olruggio’s memory, almost as a reflex, but he dismissed the idea immediately. The place was too crowded, it was too risky. He couldn't avoid this conversation, and even once they would be back home, it would be too late since he would be forced to make him forget an entire part of the day. The girls might find it suspicious. His silence seemed to be stretching forever.

“She is a former friend of mine,” he finally said

“What a special way to greet a friend !”

A headache of shame was forming around Qifrey’s head, from his forehead to the back of his neck. He forced himself to look Olruggio in the eyes.

“Well, since you seem so eager to know the details, I slept with this friend once.”

“I don’t want any details. I am simply stunned by the fact that you would not even tell me about her. I would certainly tell you if I was seeing someone.”

Even though it’s quite unlikely, Olruggio thought.

“I am not seeing her.”

Olruggio frowned with incomprehension. Qifrey bit his tongue when he understood that his friend was either too candid or thought too highly of him to understand the nature of this relationship. He was forced to explain.

“We met at the Great Hall. I had to buy a specific ink that old Nolnoa did not have. I thought she was pretty; we talked, and it turned out she was only passing by too. We met a few times in her town down south, and it happened eventually… It’s nothing serious, really. It’s the first time we saw each other since that night. And we’re done. She wanted to kiss me goodbye.”

He could feel his entire face going red. It was difficult reading Olruggio’s face.

“Is this a habit of yours or-”

“Heavens no !”

“Was it the night you told me you were going to see the doctor for your fear of water? The night you got stuck there because of the snow ?”

It was the only night Qifrey had spent far from him during these last months.

“Well, it really was snowing.”

Qifrey couldn't dare to look him in the eyes anymore.

“Are you even still seeing this doctor ?”

“I stopped going a few months ago,” lied Qifrey.

He never went. He was somehow disturbed by Olruggio’s reaction. He would have expected an outburst of anger, but he was very calm. Olruggio sighs, scratching his neck.

“I hate the idea of you lying to me so naturally. We are raising kids together, that’s not nothing. What on Earth am I supposed to do to be worthy of your trust, Qifrey ?”

“You’re the person I trust the most !”

“Obviously, still not enough.”

Qifrey opens his mouth to answer, but no sound comes out. He doesn’t know how to respond to that. Their conversation is interrupted by the girls at the entrance of the park. Agott is supported by crutches. They both immediately stand up and run towards her. Tetia is holding a guidance orb with one of Olruggio's snugstones in it.

“What happened ?” Qifrey asks, looking worried.

“Agott tripped because of a broken cobble. She hurt her ankle, and since we were right next to the hospital…” Tetia justifies

“That was a smart move, girls. But still, one of you should have come and fetched us !” Olruggio says

“You said we were supposed to stay together,” Riche answers

“We did say that yes,” Qifrey admits

“Come on, let's get everyone back home. It’s been a long day for all of us.”

Olruggio kneels to reach Agott’s height and lifts her frail body with so much simplicity that she could have weighed nothing at all. He gives the crutches to Qifrey without even looking at him. The girls are following them, worried for their friend. Tetia is the only one to take note of the last sentence. She gazes at Qifrey, looking for answers, but his look is even more secret than usual. She never knows what her professor is thinking. And that bugs her because she always knows what everyone else is thinking. Or at least has a vague idea. She can just feel it. She feels that Master Olly is upset, but she also knows that the other side of the story is locked in Professor Qifrey’s eye, and she can’t access it. She joins Agott and decides not to search any further, afraid that Professor Qifrey might sense her stare. Their professor is always reluctant to share anything. She doesn't know what he likes to eat because he always cooks their favourite meals. She doesn’t know which colour he likes, because when she arrived, the atelier was still being built and he always asked Olruggio or her for decoration advice. He never - not a single time - showed any disagreement with their opinion. He never really gave his either, now that Tetia was thinking about it. It made you wonder if he even knew what he was feeling. Of course he had to know, Tetia thought. Everyone has preferences.

“Is everything alright, love ?”

Tetia is suddenly drawn from her thoughts. She looks up to Qifrey. Everyone has passed the windoway except her. He reaches out to her. She takes his hand and crosses the windoway. Whatever her professor thinks, it can’t be too bad. He’s always so good to them. He can keep his secrets. She hopes that Olruggio thinks the same way.

Chapter Text

Do you know I could break beneath the weight
Of the goodness, love, I still carry for you?
That I'd walk so far just to take
The injury of finally knowin' you?

Unknown/Nth - Hozier

“I’m gonna bring Agott a tray.”

Olruggio poured some stew in Agott’s favourite bowl. She never explicitly said it was her favourite, but it was always the one she took when given a choice. Olruggio thought the border’s fire dragon decorations held a clue. He grabbed a wooden spoon from the drawer and tore off a large piece of bread.

“I’ll come with you!” Coco said, hopping from her chair.

“Olly, would you mind giving me a hand when you’re done? The seal in the fireplace is fading. I could do it myself, but you’re the expert…” Qifrey asked almost hesitantly, while putting the dishes in a water bubble.

“Sorry, but it’ll have to wait. I have a contraption to submit tomorrow morning at the Great Hall, and I am not quite done yet. I wanna finish this tonight.”

“Of course, nothing urgent…”

Olruggio left with Coco to join Agott. Richeh yawned loudly.

“Your hand, Richeh!”

“So what? Everyone knows I have a mouth; I don’t see why I should hide it.”

Qifrey rolled his eye, yet he was smiling. He could have scolded her for her cheek, but he chose not to. It amuses him, really. She wouldn’t be herself without this spark of impudence.

“I’m gonna sleep. Are you comin’ Tetia?”

“In a minute. I want to help Professor Qifrey with the dishes”

Richeh nodded and got out of the dining room. Tetia loved to draw this wind spell, so she always helped with the dishes. It was her chore. She pulled her palm quire out of her pocket and started drawing with precise gestures. Qifrey looked at her with pride in the eye. She took a spoon from the water bubble, passed it above her spell to dry, before handing it to her professor, so that he could put it in the drawer. Their little human chain was operating well until Tetia broke the silence between them with her hesitating voice.

“Master Olly never refuses when you ask him something, no matter how busy he is. Is he all right?”

“Very thoughtful of you to notice. However, he’s certainly all right. Don’t worry too much. Even sweet as he is, he has the right to say no a few times.”

“You did not argue, right?”

Qifrey’s look briefly shifted, as if he saw her as a threat for an instant. He smiled, kind as ever.

“Of course not. Now, everyone else has gone to sleep. You should join them. Otherwise, you’ll be tired tomorrow.”

Tetia nodded, handing him the last bowl.

“Good night, Professor.”

“Good night, Tetia.”

Tetia left the room, and Qifrey sighed deeply, both hands on the kitchen table. Tetia was so sensitive and aware; it was almost scary.

********

Four days. It had been four days since their visit to Kalhn. Olruggio had almost not talked to him ever since. He always had an excuse for missing meals. Qifrey had tried to set him up. The fireplace seal was just an excuse; it wasn’t that worn, but he had noticed that Olruggio had redrawn it overnight anyway. The girls were asking questions, and he simply missed his friend. What was so frustrating was his determination to avoid him. About once a day, he would glimpse Olruggio’s cloak at the turn of a corridor or when getting out of the kitchen, but he just felt so distant…

But now was the moment. He had made two cups of their favourite tea. He crossed the bridge between their residences and knocked at the door, struggling to balance the tray with his other hand. No response. He whispered something to himself, annoyed, before starting to yell, loud enough to be heard from the other side of the door but low enough not to wake up the girls.

“Come on, Olly, I know you’re in here. Stop sulking!”

“Actually, I am not.”

Qifrey turned around, spilling a bit of tea on the wooden tray. Olruggio was walking toward him from the other side of the corridor. His hair was wet and messy. He had just trimmed his beard and was still holding his toothbrush in his hand. Olruggio was only wearing his white shirt, untucked, and his black skirt. He used the towel on his shoulder to wipe a drop of water on the back of his neck that was dripping from his hair, which was a marvelous excuse to look away and not directly at Qifrey. The professor hated that.

Look at me! He screamed deep down.

When Olruggio finally reached him, he simply took his cup from the tray.

“Don’t shout. You’ll wake them up.”

“You always wash in the morning.”

Olruggio shrugged, opening his door.

“I was in town all day; I felt like it.”

Something stung in Qifrey’s heart when he realised that Olruggio was out all day long. They saw each other so little recently that he didn’t even notice; he had told himself that his friend was still avoiding him. Olruggio unlocked his door.

“There really is no need for that tone.”

Qifrey had barely muttered, but inside the room, Olruggio frowned for an instant.

“Come in, will ya’?”

Qifrey nodded and entered the room. Olruggio rarely invited him here. He had seen it while decorating a few years ago, and another time when Olruggio was working on a project and needed his opinion on a seal so big he couldn’t carry the paper outside of the room. Also, he had brought him dinner a few times. That was about it. Olruggio hadn’t changed a single thing: the thick, red velvet curtains were still hiding the only window, so that Olruggio was not disturbed by dusk while he was working late. The room was a mess because of the paper, the tools, the ingredients for the ink, and wood chips from the contraptions. He had drafts of seals covering his desk, with his many wands hanging in a pencil pot. The entire place was warm, lit by floating orbs of dim light. Finally, a small stone tower led to his round bed in the back of the room. From where he was, Qifrey could see that the burgundy pillows and blankets were untidy. Olruggio closed the door behind Qifrey and locked a flat latch, assembling a complicated seal. Qifrey squinted at it.

“Why do you even have that?” he asked, pointing at the silence seal

“Last summer, I tried to learn the harp. Since I wasn’t any good, I didn’t want to disturb the entire house. I abandoned the idea quite quickly.”

Qifrey nodded appreciatively before putting the tray on a small wooden table. Olruggio tasted his tea and winced. He drew a seal on a sheet of paper with his usual dexterity before putting his cup on top of it for a few seconds. He always liked his tea almost boiling hot.

“Tell me, to what do I owe the honour of this visit?”

Qifrey swallowed with great difficulty, fidgeting.

“Well, you and I have barely talked since Kalhn.”

“Do you think there’s a lot left to say?” Olruggio took a sip while resting on his desk.

“There must be. Otherwise, you wouldn’t try to run away from this discussion, which is really unlike you, I might add.” Qifrey had spoken extremely low, looking down at his nervous hands to avoid Olruggio’s gaze.

The silence was deafening. It stretched for so long that Qifrey eventually gave up and looked at his friend, anxious for an answer. Olruggio was looking at him but not really paying attention, carefully choosing his words. He was now completely sitting on the desk, his feet above the ground.

“I needed to think. The thing is, Qifrey, every time you lie, it hurts. I built everything around you. I live under your roof, with your apprentices-”

“This is your house, you know that.”

Olruggio faintly smiles but stops Qifrey with a hand gesture.

“Let me finish, please. When you lie to me, I can’t help but think that I built my life on shifting sands. Our lives are intertwined. When your obsession with the brimmed hats takes over, it affects me. When you lie to sneak out, I’m the one who stays here, worrying for you because of the weather, while you-”

This time, Olruggio interrupted himself. The words got lost in the way. He cleared his throat to resume, but Qifrey spoke before him.

“I might be giving myself an importance I don’t have, but is this more about the lying or the fact that I slept with someone?”

Surprised by so much bluntness, the fire witch had to force himself not to gasp. He was clinging to his cup so hard that his joints were almost white.

“Why would I be upset about that? You sleep with whomever you like. It’s simply that I trusted you so much that I can’t comprehend how it is possible for you not to trust me in return.”

“I did not keep this from you because of a lack of trust-”

“Why, then!”

“Because I didn’t want you to know that I was sick of waiting!”

Qifrey looked almost as shocked as Olruggio. He started to pace the room, trying to justify the last sentence with large gestures.

“We’ve known each other forever. You’re my dearest friend, and I dare to assume that I’m yours. But I guess I wanted to prove to myself that I could be loved differently. I didn’t want you to believe that you were not enough. I know that’s how you work.”

“How else am I supposed to feel, then? ”

Olruggio puts down his cup on the desk, apparently done hiding behind it.

“I- I don't know! I just wanted to try something new without hurting you.”

“My question is: why were you so certain that it would hurt me ?”

Qifrey breaks eye contact. He knew that this discussion was long overdue, they could have had the same one ten years ago. Qifrey takes off his glasses and wipes the clear lens with a strip of his shirt, as if the gesture could clear his mind at the same time. He only allowed himself to do this in front of Olruggio.

“Because we love each other, don’t we ?”

Qifrey had never seen Olruggio so confused. His face went from choc to embarrassment, and then from embarrassment to anger. He got off the desk completely and walked to him slowly. The possibility of Olruggio kissing him occurred to Qifrey.

“So you’re telling me you knew, and you did it anyway ?”

“I wasn’t sure-”

“That’s not something you do to someone you love! ‘Sick of waiting,’ you say? You gave me nothing to work with, always hiding in your secrets, lying shamelessly. Is that what should have made me realise you were so madly in love? Sorry for not getting the hint! And you, selfish jerk-”

Olruggio backed up his last few words by pushing Qifrey by the shoulder a little more violently each time. He never touched his injured arm. Qifrey was dumbfounded both by his friend’s reaction and by his own naivety. Olruggio was angry, a rare thing, and he was right to be. How could he have imagined that this declaration would cancel out all his previous sins? Qifrey felt extremely stupid for an instant.

“I spent the last days filled with guilt, ashamed of feeling the way I felt, trying to convince myself that you had every right to be with someone else.”

“Is that really the part you want to hold on to? Olly, I’m sorry but...”

“Don’t ‘Olly’ me. You knew it would hurt me, and you still did it! All those years, you could have made a move instead of ‘waiting’. You knew how I felt, which makes you much more of a coward than I a- What are you…”

Qifrey hated this turn of events. Olruggio was getting angrier, while they were supposed to smoothen things out tonight. He could barely justify himself. Olruggio knew he loved him, and instead of being glad or moved, he was feeling more betrayed than ever. Of course, it was Qifrey’s fault; Olruggio’s feelings were understandable. However, Qifrey regretted his words, his outspokenness. He should try differently tomorrow. Olruggio was particularly tired because of his day outside with his clients. He should have been more patient. He took off his hat, unclipped the front part, and put it on his best friend’s head. Olruggio harshly pushed him back with a strength none of them knew he had. Qifrey felt his heart shatter as he fell on the ground, surprised, breaking the small wooden table and spilling his tea. Fortunately, it had cooled down. Olruggio had never laid a hand on him, ever. But, most importantly, he did not have the time to close the seal.

“Are you alright?”

Olruggio lifted the hat on his head to check the damage. He had not meant to be this brutal. Qifrey didn’t answer, looking at his feet. Olruggio knew that look. Embarrassment. He looked at the pointy hat in his hand and recognised the seal. His anger faded slowly, and his shoulders hunched. His other hand clutched his shirt on his chest, as if it could slow down his heartbeats. Qifrey slowly got back to his feet, unfolding his long legs.

“Have you ever used this on me before? ”

Qifrey’s first instinct was to lie. But lying to Olruggio hadn’t really worked out so far.

“Twice.”

Olruggio nodded, and Qifrey saw his eyes get watery. He expected questions about which memories he had erased, but instead, Olruggio silently walked to the door and opened it wide.

“Get out.”

Qifrey walked slowly to the door. Olruggio returned his hat to him as he passed.

“Will you forgive me? ”

“Do you deserve it?”

Olruggio slapped the door on Qifrey’s back as soon as he stepped out. Qifrey felt nauseous suddenly.

“Professor?”

Coco was at the other side of the corridor, a glass of water in her hand.

“You should go back to bed Coco. You’ll catch a cold without your slippers.”

Qifrey smiled at her gently, putting his mask back on.

Hidin' all of our sins from the daylight
From the daylight, runnin' from the daylight
From the daylight, runnin' from the daylight
Oh, I love it and I hate it at the same time

Tellin' myself it's the last time
Can you spare any mercy that you might find
If I'm down on my knees again

Daylight-David Kushner

Chapter Text

Abuse  those I love
While  I ostracise the ones who love me back

On  the path of least resistance
I find myself salting the earth
Every time that I miss you
I feel the way you hurt
And  I don't deserve you
You deserve the world
Though it feels like we were built from the same dirt

Oh, I hate to say it but your sister was right
[...]
I'm nothing but a problem, leave you crying overnight
And I hate to say it but your sister was right
I can't focus on the future, only my short sight.

Your Sister Was Right-Wilbur Soot

“I hope Master Olly joins us today. It’s been a while since we haven’t seen him.” Richeh closes the door of her room as she leaves, repressing a yawn with the back of her hand.

“I miss him too. Professor Qifrey claims they aren't crossed with each other, but I’m not sure I believe him. Anyway, I glimpsed Master Olruggio yesterday morning, and he said he was done with his contraption. He should be free today.” Tetia adds as they make their way down the stairs.

“I doubt he will join us. He wasn’t feeling very well last evening. Nothing too worrying, though.”

Tetia’s shoulders tensed when she recognised her professor’s voice from behind her, he was coming from the second floor. Her failure to hear him approach mortified her, considering what she'd just said.

“Good morning Professor !” Richeh greeted while trying to distract him, to save Tetia from embarrassment. “Did you sleep well ?”

They both turned to face him, and Richeh realised the stupidity of her question. Their professor looked like he hadn’t slept a wink all night. Like every day, he dressed neatly, but his hair was pointing in every direction, and a dark circle had grown under his eye.

“Perfectly well, thank you for asking.” he lied.

“What are we going to learn today?” Richeh asked, still trying to muddy the waters.

“I hope you ‌believe me when I say that today’s lesson will be a lot of fun. However, I’ll tell you after breakfast, when the four of you are together.”

He had given a sly look to Tetia and chosen his words carefully. The girls knew he had heard them earlier. He put his hand on their shoulders, encouraging them to continue their way to the kitchen without further comment.

When they arrived in the kitchen, Coco and Agott were already there. Coco was struggling to peel a mountain apple, while Agott was cutting quarters in an already peeled one. She was sitting at the kitchen table. Her ankle still hurt, but she could already walk slowly, as long as she wasn’t standing for too long. What was much more surprising was Olruggio’s presence. He was pouring hot chocolate into six cups. Tetia ran to hug him.

“Master Olly! You’re eating with us, right? It’s been a while!”

“Are you finally done with your work?” Richeh asks, more calmly.

“Yes, yes, but let go of me. I don’t want you to get burned.”

Olruggio was surprised by Tetia’s embrace and was struggling to keep the heavy hot pot far from her head. Qifrey didn’t know how to react. After their conversation, he thought Olruggio would hide in his workshop for another week, for sure. But here he was, playing with the kids casually.

“Hand me that, Coco, you’ll cut yourself.” Qifrey said, taking the peeler from his student’s hands.

“Coco was managing just fine, she already peeled the other ones…” Agott retorted. Coco shook her head to show Agott that it wasn’t worth it.

“Better safe than sorry.”

The room became silent for a moment. Qifrey had not even greeted Olruggio, nor looked at him. The girls found it odd. The two men were always glad to share a meal or a conversation. Qifrey usually complained first when Olruggio overworked, neglecting time with others. Their silence was very unusual. Olruggio wanted to curse with every fiber of his body. He had recently became well aware that Qifrey was good at lying and hiding his feelings. So why was he unable to act normally now, with the girls in front of them? Olruggio swallowed, coming to the conclusion that today’s breakfast was going to be rather unpleasant because of his presence. Qifrey couldn’t leave his students, but he could. Jaw clenched, he left the empty pot in the vapor bubble and took his cup. He wasn’t planning to eat with them in the first place. After a long night of self pitying and questioning his life, he had craved hot chocolate. Chocolate usually soothed his soul and helped him fall asleep. It’s only when he arrived in the empty kitchen that he looked at the clock and realised the girls would soon be up. The hours had passed without him really noticing. He started cooking when Coco and Agott arrived and had been gladly stuck with them since.

“Sorry, I just remembered that I forgot to write back to one of my clients. She doesn’t have a telescriber so I better send the letter early…See you later.”

Olruggio left the room and four accusatory pairs of eyes turned to Qifrey. A deadpan expression was on his face but he was more cutting than peeling the mountain apple in his hands.

“Do you want us to go outside so that you two can talk or…” Agott tried.

Defeated, Qifrey let go of the peeler on the wooden cutting board.

“No, thank you Agott, we already did. I’m sorry about the atmosphere, but don’t worry girls, things will settle down eventually.”

Or so Qifrey hoped.

***********************

“Who are you writing to?”

Olruggio jumped when hearing Richeh just behind him. He took the page of the telescriber he had just written on and crumpled it in his hand before putting it in his pocket. He delicately let his feather onto the table next to the inkwell. For once, it was classic ink.

“A friend at the Great Hall.”

Richeh looked suspiciously at Olruggio’s pocket, but eventually decided that she wasn’t interested enough to risk meddling with her teacher’s private business.

“What are you doing here, anyway?” Olruggio asked, kneeling to face her.

They were in a small room in the cave, right next to the windoway. Their principal source of light was the telescriber, magically luminescent.

“I was looking for you, actually. I wanted to show you my new seal.”

“I’m glad you found me then! Qifrey’s busy?”

“No, I already showed him. But I want your opinion as a professional.”

Olruggio cannot suppress a smile. As Richeh took her palm quire out of her pocket, he felt his heart ache. His certainties were shaking dangerously. Richeh closed her seal and a silent, colourful firework appeared. It was shiny and beautiful, exactly what Richeh liked to draw.

“I know it’s not exactly useful but…” she said, as she realised she was talking to a contraption maker, someone who dedicated his life to making useful spells.

“Of course it is. Magic brings joy to our world. This brings me great joy and I’m sure others would feel the same way. With a bit of work, you could turn it into a toy for children. A mobile in a baby’s room, for example, or even a night light.”

Richeh’s face lit up.

“Would you help me make it?”

“I would love to. However, I’m not gonna lie to you dear, this spell still needs some work. It needs to be safer, because fireworks could burn a child as they are now, yourself included, so don’t try this again without Qifrey or me. We also ought to think about durability, a way for the seal to be discreet and last for at least a few years. You got the idea, but you’ll have to be patient and wait for your skills to follow the pace of your mind. I don’t want to spoil it for you by giving away the answers. Otherwise, it won’t be entirely your work. You’re talented, you’ll make a fine contraption maker one day.”

Olruggio patted her head, trying to make her disappointed expression vanish. She closed her palm quire.

“You’re not saying no because you’re still mad from last week, right ?”

Olruggio is so surprised that his eyebrows almost reunite with his hairline.

“Mad at you? Never. Why would I be ?”

“I’m not sure. It’s just that you don’t want to spend time with us anymore, so I wondered if that was because-”

Olruggio’s large hands wrapped around Richeh’s ink-stained fingers.

“Listen to me closely, Richeh. I am not angry at you. You girls are not responsible for the atmosphere here. I am terribly sorry that you are stuck between our bickering. I’ll put an end to that. It’s Qifrey I have a problem with, not you, and don’t you dare blame yourself because it makes me feel awfully guilty and you simply have no reason to do so, ok? I do like to spend time with you four, and nothing will ever change that. If the others are also worried, you tell them the same thing.”

Richeh nodded, and a tear rolled on her cheek. Olruggio immediately dried it with his thumb. Once again, his heart ached. He hated to be the source of her sadness. Sometimes they were all so bright, he forgot they were only eleven years old girls, far from their parents.

“Come on, none of that. I just said everything was gonna be alright.”

Richeh hugged him, and he was glad she did because it gave him the perfect solution to hide his own eyes getting watery. He returned her embrace, holding her slightly tighter than usual. It only lasted three seconds, but she needed this and Olruggio used this time to retrieve his composure. He stands back up and gently puts his hand on her head.

“We should head back up, or they’ll look for you.”

Richeh nodded again, and they both went upstairs. They split at the ground floor. From the corridor to his own atelier, Olruggio heard Qifrey.

“Heavens, Richeh! We’ve been looking for you everywhere. Where have you been? Class should have resumed fifteen minutes ago.”

Olruggio smiled faintly and put his forehead against the wooden door. He was holding the crumpled paper in his pocket. Was he making the right decision ?

***********************

Qifrey took a book from Coco’s pile as they were walking. He put it on his own pile of paper and notebooks. They were getting ready for the morning class. The teacher carefully avoided looking at his best friend’s door as they passed next to the corridor leading to Olruggio’s quarters. However, Coco looked. She was eager to catch sight of Master Olruggio. She stopped and frowned.

“Brushbuddy’s acting up.”

“Is he?” Qifrey also stopped and looked in the direction she was pointing at

Brushbuddy was jumping in every direction, hitting his head on the wooden door vigorously.

“What’s up, little guy?”

Qifrey followed Coco in the corridor reluctantly. He didn’t want to approach Olruggio. It was too soon, he was certainly still mad. He put the enormous pile of books he was holding onto the windowsill.

“The door is open.” Coco noticed. As she said that, brushbuddy entered the room uninvited and Coco turned to her teacher, hesitant to follow their pet. Qifrey gathered all his courage to knock.

“Olruggio, are you there? You left the door open.”

No response. Qifrey slipped his head in the doorway to see if Olruggio was present, but the room was unmoving and calm. Someone had extinguished the candles, and the floor was surprisingly tidy. Wood chips had vanished and drafts were neatly stacked on the desk. The curtains were open. Qifrey understood and felt like he swallowed a brick. He turned to Coco.

“Would you mind fetching the others for me, Coco ?”

“Not at all, Professor.”

Coco left the heavy textbooks she was holding directly on the floor, somehow understanding that this was a bit of an emergency. She ran across the corridor. Qifrey entered the room and went directly to the desk. An envelope was on it, all blank parchment, not even sealed. Qifrey opened it.

“I’m not good with words, so I shall be brief.

I entrusted you with my life, and you broke this trust. This is the hardest decision I ever took, but I thought about my vows as a friend and Watchful Eye at length and concluded that in the state we’re in, I’m not properly playing any of these roles. I cannot live with someone who doesn’t trust me and who I don’t trust. That is not why we created this atelier. You obviously cannot go, but I can. The atmosphere is weighing on the girls’ minds and we can’t have that. We need time, or at least, I need time. I wrote to the Great Hall; they will send you a new Watchful Eye next week. I hope this person will know how to pressure you to avoid the Brimmed Hats better than I did.

Take care of yourself and our girls.”

Qifrey felt like an elephant had stepped on his chest. He sniffed and let a tear soak the parchment in his hands. The black ink of Olruggio compact writing spread in the small water stain. Olruggio was a genius but it didn't benefit him. With a new Watchful Eye, he was stuck. Olruggio didn’t want him to investigate ? He had done the best thing he could : another Watchful Eye wouldn’t hesitate to report him to the Knight Moralis. He had distanced himself from him while also making sure he wouldn’t do anything reckless while he was away. Now that he was thinking about it however, Qifrey barely cared about that. He already missed his friend.

He heard quick footsteps approaching. He couldn’t cry now, he had to pretend for the girls. He quickly put the envelope in his sleeve and dried his lens.

“Professor ?” Agott asked while pushing the door hesitantly. They usually couldn't enter this room. She was back on her feet, her ankle had healed.

“Come in.”

The four girls gathered around him and he kneeled to their height. His throat was tight and he knew words wouldn’t come as easily as usual.

“I wanted you all to know at the same time. Em...Olruggio left.”

Qifrey still had his mouth open to continue, but Tetia interrupted him with a slight panic in her voice.

“What do you mean, ‘left’? Where did he go? When is he coming back?”

“I don’t know…He doesn’t say.”

“Oh, so there’s a letter? Can we see it?” Coco asks, as bright as usual.

“No.” Qifrey answers a bit too quickly for his own taste. Coco frowns, slightly confused.

“Will you tell us what this is all about? We didn’t dare to ask before because it was your business, but this quarrel is getting quite serious!” Agott had this light of defiance in her eyes, meaning that she wasn’t gonna give up until satisfaction.

However, Qifrey couldn’t bring himself to admit his betrayal. He had already lost the respect of his friend. He couldn’t bear to lose that of his students. Embarrassed, he broke eye contact and looked at the floor.

“I did something mean to him. He has every right to be mad at me.”

“What did you do?” she insists. Qifrey looks at her seriously.

“No matter what you say, I don’t have to tell you that. You were right earlier. This is none of your business.”

Agott made the same expression as if someone had slammed a door in her face. Silence fell on the room and they all realised that their anger and incomprehension was simply what they were using to mask their sadness. Richeh broke the silence. Her hands were clutching her dress, crumpling the fabric, and she seemed to be making a great deal of effort not to cry.

“He said to me yesterday that he enjoyed spending time with us. He lies, just like you. We’re just children, so we don’t deserve the truth. We’re not equals.”

“Richeh, you already know that’s not how- Richeh, wait !”

Richeh turned around and left, followed by a worried Tetia. Coco and Agott looked at each other before looking anxiously at their teacher. He sighed when contemplating the amount of work that he had to do all over again to regain Richeh’s trust.

“Class is canceled for today. You’re free to go.”

They nodded and left to join their friends. Qifrey knew they would have a long conversation upstairs, but he simply didn’t have the strength at the moment to deal with it. He would face their accusations at dinner tonight. He dreamed of staying curled up in his bed until the end of time, but the girls would eventually be hungry at noon, so he headed to the kitchen to make them sandwiches before going upstairs. He couldn't shake this deep feeling of failure as a teacher, as a friend, as a parental figure...When he crossed the living room, he saw it on a side table beside the couch. On his pointy hat was his old tassel, his yellow pompom. Olruggio had taken his ribbon back. Qifrey put his hand over his mouth to stifle an irrepressible sob. Indeed, Olruggio was not very good with words. His actions, on the other hand, were very clear.

Their promise of friendship was over.

***********************

“Look what I’ve found.”

Agott closes the door of her bedroom behind her. Tetia, Richeh and Coco are already there, sat on the floor.

“You took forever ! We were starting to think you had fallen into the void” said Tetia while lying down on the floor.

“Well, I'm not coming back empty-handed.”

Agott hands them a piece of half-burnt paper. They all successively squint at it.

“That’s Master Olly’s writing !” Tetia yells.

They all shush her even louder, nervously looking at the door.

“Do you think it’s the letter ?” Coco asks.

“I’m positive. I found it in the fireplace. There was a bottle of wine next to it, sad thing to think about, really…”

“I saw him get out of Master Olly’s atelier yesterday morning. I think he sleeps there as long as the replacement hasn’t arrived.” Richeh adds.

“He tries to hide it but he really misses him.” says Tetia, fidgeting. She put the letter on the floor. She suddenly felt like invading her teacher’s private space. Richeh is less remorseful and takes the letter.

“Maybe we can find information about where he is. Send him a letter or go see him.” Richeh says while standing up to get closer to the window and see the paper more clearly.

“To tell him what ? We know nothing of what exactly happened.” stopped Agott.

“To tell him the truth : that we all miss him terribly and that whatever happened, it can’t be worth all this trouble.” Tetia, eternal romantic, rolled on the floor holding a cushion. Coco looked at her almost in admiration of her inability to remain still.

“His writing is terrible. He put much more effort when writing to his clients. I saw one of his letters on the telescriber once. How is it possible to draw so well and still write like that? The burnings also don’t help. I can barely read this.” Richeh sighs, handing the letter to Coco.

“I only spent three years in school. If you can’t read it, I won’t either.” Coco passes the letter to Agott without even looking at it.

Agott squints but starts to speak eventually : “‘I entrusted you…’ When it doesn’t make sense it’s because the paper burned. ‘broke this trust…I thought about my vows as a friend and Watchful Eye…I’m not properly playing any of these roles. I cannot live…” I don’t have the rest of the sentence. ‘...You obviously cannot go, but I can. The atmosphere is weighing on the girls’ minds and we can’t have that…’ Then he stroked something out, I can’t read it because of the soot. The next sentence got burnt and I only have the footer left : ‘Take care of yourself and our girls’.

They all stood silent for a while, the last sentence echoing in their head.

“So professor Qifrey didn’t lie, there really is no indication about where he’s headed.” Richeh thinks out loud.

“Did he evoke any other relation than Qifrey ? Who could he be staying at ?” Tetia tried.

“I did caught him writing to the Great Hall the day before he left. He said it was a friend. But it could also have been him reaching out for a new Watchful Eye. And even if it really was a friend, more than half of the witch’s society lives there so we're no further ahead.” Richeh's voice had dropped in volume as she spoke, along with her hopes.

“Maybe family then?” Coco asked.

“The Torch family is very influential in the North.”

“Is he a noble like you Agott !?” Coco was always so excited for the smallest things.

“I am not- It’s not that simple. There are two types of notorious families. By status or by region. The Arklaum family is notorious because of an important status passed down across generations.”

“Yeah, so : nobility.” Tetia muttered, nudging Richeh.

“On the other hand, other families are notorious not because of talent or function but because of their history with a region. The Torch family has been protecting the area further north than the Dadah Range for centuries. Olruggio of the Torch is actually one of the first to become notorious.”

“We’re losing focus here, The question is : does he still have family there and where exactly ?” Richeh asks impatiently

“I don’t know which branch he is from so I don't have an exact city, no.”

They all look disappointed.

“Well, sorry for not learning by heart the entire family tree of the witch world !”

“At least we have a track.” Tetia concludes. Coco nods energetically.

They were definitely not giving up.

Black is the colour of my true love's hair.
Her lips are like a rose so fair.
She's got the sweetest face and the gentlest hands.
I love the ground whereon she stands.

I love my love and well she knows.
I love the ground whereon she goes.
And how I wish the day would come
when she and I can be as one.

Black is the Colour-Cara Dillon

Chapter Text

Through the storm we reach the shore
You give it all, but I want more
And I'm waiting for you

With or without you
With or without you
I can't live
With or without you

With or without you-U2

“Qifrey, can I ask you a question while we’re alone?”

Qifrey reluctantly took his eye off his book and looked up at Dhyina. Having cleaned her plate, she dried her hands on her green skirt, displaying the embarrassment of someone new to the place. Dhyina was a tiny witch. She was older than Qifrey, but her childish appearance and behaviour betrayed nothing of it. She parted her curly ginger bangs to see him better. Qifrey still found it extremely difficult to get past the fact that she was his senior. She’d been there when he’d arrived under Beldaruit’s protection. In a way, he was lucky to know her. It made the situation less awkward. He didn’t like the idea of living only a corridor away from a complete stranger. She’d been under a different teacher, but they’d seen each other grow up. At least, he’d put on a few centimetres, unlike her.

“Only if I can ask you one, too.”

“What do you want to know?” She was startled. Dhyina felt like she’d been talking only about herself ever since she arrived, more for lack of a response than for narcissism. How could he still have questions ?

“Why did you accept this job? You’re a writer, you should be at the Great Hall, next to your office. And yet, I heard you specifically requested to come here.”

Dhyina looked at the floor, terribly embarrassed.

“For a silly reason, really. I find myself…more and more uncomfortable with crowds. Going to work or simply going out alone was becoming a real challenge. The streets of the Great Hall are a nightmare, I pathetically freak out. The Weekly Witch agreed that I could send them my short stories from the countryside. It’s just…being a Watchful Eye seemed to be a great opportunity to escape and your atelier was the more isolated. You’ll mock me, but even being in the kitchen with the five of you sometimes overwhelms me when the girls are being loud.”

She was fidgeting. Qifrey’s gaze softened, and he kindly smiled.

“Why would I mock you? I left because I couldn’t stand people either.”

The circumstances were different, but that wasn’t the point at the moment. She glanced at him, relieved, before coughing to dismiss her own sentimentality.

“My turn, now.”

Anxiously, she looked at the door, fearing that the girls would slam it open and return early from old Nolnoa’s.

“Did I do something wrong when I first came here?”

Qifrey closed his book, offering her his undivided attention.

“What makes you think you did?”

“I’ve always had a good relationship with children. But I’ve been here for almost two weeks and I feel like your students are avoiding me. I introduced myself, but we’ve barely talked since.”

“Don’t worry too much. Richeh and Agott don’t like change and the other two often listen to the first ones without realising it. Be patient. They truly liked the previous Watchful Eye. They’ll get used to you, eventually.”

“I hope you’re right. By the way, you never answered when I asked, but remind me why Olruggio of the Torch left already?”

Qifrey didn't really want to answer. But he had promised himself not to lie anymore. All the more so as he knew she wasn’t asking to be mean. It was genuine curiosity.

“...We argued.”

“Really? If I remember correctly, you two stuck together like glue back at the Great Hall. I can’t believe it.”

“I know, I was there.”

Qifrey took his cup of tea and his book and went to the door after offering her an awkward smile. She had discovered that Qifrey was a little secretive, so she didn’t insist.

“Oh, one last thing and then I’m out of your hair: where are your seals for heating the house? I doubt the chimney is sufficient to warm the entire atelier. I can redraw them if you want me to. You’re more of a water witch, right? My speciality is light, but it’s quite similar to…Is everything alright ?”

Qifrey snapped out of his deep observation of the floor.

“Yes. What month is it again?”

“Em…September.”

“We usually wait until the very end of October. Brushbuddy doesn’t like being too warm, so we use heat seals with caution.”

“So we’re left to freeze until November because of the pet?”

“Absolutely. The girls worship him.”

He hides by sipping a bit of his tea. He failed miserably and forgot his promise. Here he was, lying and striking her chord to make her wait. The truth is: Olruggio was the one dealing with heat in the house. Qifrey felt uneasy at the idea of letting her do his job. To be even more honest, he was not sure where all the seals were.

“If they asked you, then…”

Qifrey nodded.

“Will that be all?”

They parted, Dhyina in her quarters and Qifrey in his room. He didn’t even try to read again. He lay down in his minimally decorated bedroom and took his glasses off. His eye hurt, but not as much as his heart. The failure was still in here, somewhere, but he felt mostly empty.

He terribly missed having warmth in the house.

*************************

“You put too much direction sigils, Coco. And this one is slightly longer. The more sigils, the more chance to make mistakes. Four at each corner will perfectly do the trick. Well, the corners of a circle are not exactly a thing, but you get the idea.”

Coco nodded, noting the advice. Dhyina looked anxiously at Qifrey. She was not quite comfortable yet correcting the girls. He smiled at her and her anxiety faded. She looked at the picture before her. The four students were on the floor, drawing, and Qifrey sat on the couch right next to them. This was lovely, she felt it. Even so, it was five people with her. In the same room. She felt the wave of panic arrive and stood up with as much urge as reluctance. How she would love to stay here with them. It was so simple and pleasant to be with two or three of them at the same time. Why was five so different? What was wrong with her? She started feeling hot and hated herself.

“I-em…need to go do my acts of benevolence. I haven’t been out in a while so…see you later, everyone.”

“Can I come with you?” Agott lifted her head up to her. Dhyina’s eyes shone with excitement for half a second, but she quickly cast a shadow on it.

“I’d rather not, sorry.”

Getting out of the house was already gonna be challenging enough, no need to add the gazing of Qifrey’s student on her nerves. She went to the entrance and put on her bright red cape and hat. She stayed an awfully long time in front of the door, hand on the knob, stuck. Determined, she opened the door and basically teleported outside, as if stopping or slowing down was going to make her give up. The slamming door seemed to wake them all up in their contemplation of her odd little game.

“Whatever she has is not getting better.” Agott said, drawing a flawless circle around her seal without completing it.

“I worry. One second she’s with us and the other, she just seems so…tense.”

They all nodded in agreement with Tetia’s analysis. Qifrey was glad to see the girls not hating Dhyina anymore, simply because she wasn’t Olruggio. This had been a problem in the beginning. However, months had passed and, as he predicted, they ended up liking her. On the other hand, Qifrey was starting to wonder if this was the right place for Dhyina. He sometimes felt like she wasn’t entirely comfortable here. Lost in thought, he noticed the girls gathering around him.

“Professor, we have something important to tell you. We found-”

Tetia and Agott slapped their hands on Richeh’s mouth.

“We don’t trust Richeh’s storytelling skills. She’ll go straight to the point.” Coco explains.

Qifrey was so stunned that he didn’t even defend her. The girl looked deeply offended.

“First of all, we hope our insistence won’t offend you.” Agott started. “We miss Master Olly almost as much as you do. I assume I speak for everyone when I say we like it here. For me at least…”

She swallowed with great difficulty, looking for the right words. “As you know, I don’t exactly get along with my family. Richeh misses her brother. Coco’s mother is out of the picture…Tetia you don’t have any problem with your family, do you ?”

Coco and Richeh were looking down, but Tetia felt called out.

“Do I have to apologise for not being traumatised like y’all ?”

Agott was startled, so Tetia kept going. “Anyway, we found a comfortable place here. We’re family. Olruggio is part of the family and whatever was the reason for your row…Was it truly worth sacrificing what we had? You’re not as cheerful without him, you don’t cook fancy food anymore…”

The students looked stressed. They hadn’t really talked about the situation since the day of Olruggio’s departure almost six months ago. Back then, Qifrey was so lost himself that he pushed them away almost violently. He had been very clear: they were not supposed to stick their noses into the matter. Hunched at the back of the couch, Qifrey rubbed the back of his neck. He had tried so hard to hide his pain from his students. Again, he was a failure. Tetia reflected she had never seen him look so vulnerable before.

“Olly’s departure was his decision. To him, at least, the quarrel was important enough. Don’t get me wrong: he is not overreacting at all. But who am I to deny him the right to leave ?”

“We’re his friends. That’s who. You don’t just leave people who care about you.” A few months ago, Richeh would have said that with watery eyes. At the moment, however, she looked determined.

“So…” Coco started, sensing that the conversation was veering off. “We thought it would be a good idea to try to find him. Thanks to Tartah’s help, we found in old newspapers an article about Master Olly’s sister. Old Nolnoa keeps thirty-five years’ worth of The Daily Hall newspapers in his basement. It wasn’t easy finding this.”

A hint of pride was visible on Coco’s face as she handed him a journal page. They stared at him as he read.

“We are glad to announce the union of the House Delaru and the House of the Torch thanks to the marriage of Regus and Kina. The wedding took place… Blathering… with the presence of famous figures such as Olruggio of the Torch, younger brother of the bride. Yes, I remember that. I was glad she didn’t invite me.”

“So you knew he had a sister?! He never talks about her!” Coco stammered, her proud look turning into disappointment.

“Of course I knew. Olly and I have been talking to each other for fifteen years; what do you think ?”

“And you don’t like her?” Tetia asked, remembering what he had said about his invitation.

“She doesn’t like me, to be more exact.”

They silently commonly agreed not to ask anything else about that. They knew not to push their luck with their teacher.

“Have you tried to reach her? Maybe he’s staying with her!” Richeh asked. Qifrey shook his head.

“I thought about it, but I don’t know where she is and I’m positive she wouldn’t answer if I wrote.”

“Then you gotta try to find her directly. She’s his older sister, she must be the heiress of the family. Usually they don’t leave their hometown. Where did Olruggio grow up ?” Richeh was in a hurry for some reason. This was really unlike her but she had quite a special relationship with Olruggio.

“Now that you’re asking…I have no idea. He used to talk about his hometown by saying “up north” but I can’t recall a specific place he mentioned. Only names of rivers, lakes and mountains.”

“15 years and you never asked?!” Richeh pulled her own hair in frustration. Qifrey smiled at this rare display of emotion.

“That’s not a problem, we’ll find maps and go to every town and every village if we have to.” said Agott, shrugging like she wasn’t talking about a task that could take years.

“Wow. There’s no ‘we’ here girls. The north is the most dangerous area of the Peninsula. I don’t even know if there’s a ‘I’. Suppose he won’t see me when I find him ?”

They all looked at him, almost laughing, as if he’d said the most ridiculous thing.

“We’re talking about Master Olly. He could never turn you down, especially after six months of not seeing you.” Tetia said.

The others visibly agreed. Qifrey couldn’t shake the unpleasant feeling that they wouldn’t be so sure if they knew what he did.

*************************

“Don’t even try to negotiate, especially you, young lady.” Qifrey pointed an accusatory finger at Agott who already had her mouth wide open to protest. “I’m going alone.”

“But-” Richeh started.

“What did he just say ?!” Dhyina interrupted her. She turned to Qifrey, shrunken by his heavy winter coat.“Off you go, you get them excited and they'll be unbearable once you leave.” She shooed him away with a wave of her hand, forcing him down the stairs.

“I can’t believe you’re agreeing with this Dhyina. You do realise you’re helping me putting you out of job ?”

“I do. But this is more important. Go get him. I couldn’t bear to keep you two lovebirds apart.”

Qifrey blushed very hard. He checked if the girls had heard them but they were busy bickering on top of the stairs. Even Dhyina knew and Olruggio wasn’t even here. Was his misery really that obvious? Once he regained a normal colour, he gave her a brief smile.

“Thank you.” He turned to open the windoway.

Dhyina was almost moved. This smile was fragile and was definitely the most sincere one she had seen on his face since her arrival.

“If you’re not back tomorrow evening, I turn you down to the Knights! Don’t die!” She screamed as he was crossing the windoway, not sure if he even heard her.

He had heard. The threat cast a chill on his enthusiasm, which was already extremely limited. He was excited to find Olruggio, but the whereabouts in the north left him less cheerful. In this region, the elements were against you. It was deadly cold during the winters. The fierce wind prevented anyone from flying, and not all the beasts were hibernating. As a result, he went during the summer. Just kidding, of course, it was February. So many destinations within reach, and he chose the most unpleasant one: The Dadah Range. It was the most northerly existing windoway. From here, Qifrey could still fly. He went straight north.
*

Qifrey passed the windoway once again. Coco was waiting for him, sat on the stairs and with one of Dhyina’s glowing orbs to read her book. He shook his head to let the snow fall. His nose, ears, and cheeks were bright red. His glasses were covered in fog. Despite the mittens and the heat seal, he had lost all feelings in his fingers. He muttered angrily.

“It’s March already. Why is the entire world getting warmer for Spring except there! What is wrong with this region?”

“Nothing new, then?” Coco asked.

“No, but I’m almost sure I did all the towns in this area, so from next week, I start a new one. Although I can’t find who I’m looking for, I feel like I’m making progress.” As usual, he looked slightly crazy when he came home. His eyes were still brimming with adrenaline. He undertook the arduous task of removing his winter gear. His boots were filled with melted snow, and Qifrey seemed oddly relieved to dry himself. Noticing that he was taking his time, Coco interrupted him.

“Professor, dinner is ready upstairs. Dhyina is not feeling well. I think she’s waiting for you before retiring to her room. ”

“Is she sick?” Qifrey was living in perpetual fear of giving them a cold.

“I-No, not really. But she needs rest.”

Qifrey frowned, and they both went upstairs. His toes ached from receiving blood again. They entered the kitchen and saw Dhyina at the stove. She was mumbling and shaking while stirring the stew. The kitchen was spotless. Qifrey arrived from behind her. He was still all pink from the cold.

“Good evening. Thank you for making dinner and taking care of the girls once again.”

She jumped because of the surprise and the wooden spoon she was holding did a flip, burning her hand on the way.

“FUU…dge.” She had regained her composure when she saw Coco behind her. She looked around her in slight panic and opened a vapor bubble to put her hand in it. Qifrey pulled his palm quire out of his pocket and drew a seal to chill the water. It transformed into an enormous ball of ice and she fell to her knees, dragged by the sudden weight at the end of her arm.

“Was that absolutely necessary?” she asked.

“I only wanted to cool it down, but my hands are still freezing, so I missed the seal. I’m sorry.” He tried a new seal less quickly and melted the ice. Dhyina pulled her hand out and thanked him with a nod. She stood up and started cleaning the stew that had spilled from the spoon. She was still shaking. Qifrey put his hand on her shoulder to make her stop. She stuttered.

“I-I-I’m sorry, you had a long day outside and I’m making a mess…”

“Everything’s fine Dhyina. Thank you for everything. If I told you that you look a bit tired right now, would you be angry at me ?”

“No, I wouldn’t.” She said, laughing.

“Well, you seem to be at the end of your tether. Go get some rest, and I’ll take care of the girls for now.”

“I’m sorry…”

She slowly got out of the kitchen. Coco and Qifrey poked their heads through the door to watch her leave. Once she was far enough in the corridor, she put her face in her hand and sobbed.

“Have you been that insufferable today?” Qifrey asked with a suspicious look at his student.

“Not more than usual. But we went to Kalhn to do groceries. She hasn’t calmed down since.”

“Why did she do that? I told her I would go.”

Coco shrugged. Qifrey pouted sadly. He was not shivering anymore, and tiredness was creeping into his body at the same time as the heat. He suppressed a yawn.

“Please, go tell the others we’re eating.” Coco nodded, and he promised himself to go see how Dhyina was doing after dinner. Once the dishes were done, he went to her atelier with a tray. He felt awkward as he knocked at the door, having flashbacks of the last time he did that. Suddenly, music started playing. She must have taken off the silence seal Qifrey figured. She half-opened the door, and he saw her raise the tip of what looked like a magical song recorder.

“Oh, it’s only you,” she said, bringing her long pipe to her lips. She must have hid it behind the door in case it was one of the girls knocking.

“Room service.”

She smiled. “That’s very kind of you. Come in. Sorry about the mess.”
She fully opened the door and let him inside. She was so much more relaxed than an hour ago that Qifrey paid great attention to the smell of whatever she was smoking. He was almost surprised to only recognise tobacco. It was colder than in the rest of the house because the window was open.

“Would you like a cup of tea ?”

“Another time, maybe. Today was exhausting, so I won’t be staying for long.”

“Again, sorry for adding to your troubles.”

“Not at all. You watch the girls every week on days off and it’s already more than I should ask of you.” Qifrey tried really hard not to stare at the room. Everything was so different. It was cold and bright, with floating lamps everywhere and green cushions on the chairs. Did she arrive with all of that ?

“Well, I’m glad to. Your students are bright and kind. You can be proud.”

“Oh, I am.” He handed her the tray. She put it on her desk. Now that he was observing more closely, the only common things he could find between Olruggio’s and Dhyina’s decorations were the furniture and the sheets of paper on the floor. Except that hers were covered in words, not with seals.

“They told me you went grocery shopping together today.”

“We did.” Her shoulders tensed.

“It didn’t go well?” She shook her head and sighed.

“I wanted to prove myself that I could still do it. I thought the girls’ presence would force me to behave. It was a mistake, I panicked and apologised to them afterwards.”

“I don’t mind doing it, you know ?”

“That’s not the question.” She started fidgeting, looking down. “I have to think about the after. Even if you don’t find Olruggio, he’ll come back for you, eventually. I’ll have to leave and I won’t be as lucky in another atelier. Watchful Eyes rarely live so close to their atelier, they don’t eat with the students. I can’t go on like this, I need to be independent. Either I get over this…thing that I have, or else I’m doomed to live alone in autarky, eating spaded carrots from my garden because I don’t know how to grow anything else.”

“Have you tried reaching out to the Healing Spire ?”

“I am not going back to the Great Hall.” Qifrey could hear a slight panic in her voice

“Write to them, then. Ask for someone to come here to help you. Anyway, you shouldn’t have gone for such a big step. You barely got out of the atelier these last months. You should have tried the nomads, for example. They’re in small groups, they often need magical help and they stay far from the cities.”
She sighed, rubbing her eyes with the hand that wasn’t holding her pipe.

“You’re making so much sense it’s almost infuriating.” He smiled.

“Well, I’m not making you angry before going to sleep. Have a good night Dhyina.”

She thanked him, and he left, glad to be of any help. Once in his bed, he couldn’t think about anything else. ‘He’ll come back for you eventually’ Why did everyone seem so certain of their attachment except for them ?

*************************

On each day off of the week, he goes up north, blinded by the bright snow. Why couldn’t he fall in love with a man from the southern islands? Qifrey could picture himself easily on a canoe, under the tropical sun, doing the same research while sipping coconut water. He smiled at his own stupidity. He deserved this. These days spent in the cold were his punishment. Qifrey hated the cold. Maybe that was why he loved Olruggio so much. Everything about him was warm, from his magic to his laugh. He missed his laugh terribly. Now that he was thinking about it, he hadn’t heard it for ages. Even before he left, they hadn’t taken the time to sit together, talk, drink, and laugh for a long time. He would never take him for granted ever again. If he accepts to come back his own mind called him to order. He tried to look at his map again. He thanked himself for putting a water repellent seal on it. Qifrey knew he was getting close to the next city, but couldn’t see it yet. He could have tried to fly, but with this much wind, it was dangerous. He struggled for another half hour before reaching the town. Suddenly, the wind stopped and snow started to fall more softly, straight to the ground, without stinging any face on the way down. Qifrey felt like he could breathe again. He looked around him. The trees were still fighting against the wind. He was admirative of the spell responsible for this phenomenon. The town was well protected.

“Oi! Are you lost or something?” A man came to him. He must have been around fifty and was carrying wood on his back. Qifrey’s heart jumped when hearing his accent. His voice was harsh, its r’s were rolled and its ou’s were pronounced like u’s. The memory was distant, but Qifrey was practically certain. Olruggio arrived at the Great Hall with this accent many years ago. He had lost most of it, unfortunately. Although this man’s accent was so thick, he had to focus on understanding everything he was saying.

“Not quite.”

“That is no answer, lad. Either you’re lost or you’re not.” Qifrey was looking for something in his backpack, so the man continued. “You came all this way in March without dogs? Do you wanna die or what? Can I bring you…Oh, you’re a witch!” The man pointed almost frantically at the pointy hat he had just put on his head. He calmed down by himself and frowned, brushing his long beard with his fingers. “Is The Torch sending ya’? You’re not the usual guy.”

Qifrey's geart jumped in his chest one more time. He was getting closer, finally.

“I’m not from the Torch. But I’m looking for them.”

The villager rolled his eyes. “For a minute I thought you were coming to help…Who are you looking for?”

“I’m a Witch. Helping you is our duty and it would be an honour to do so.”

The man seemed surprised and looked at him from head to toe for a while.

“You should tell the Torch, it seems they’re not aware of that. Come with me. I can’t really pay you, but you look like you could use a hot drink. And a hearty meal judging by the state of ya’.” He had grabbed his arm and despite the thick coat, he winced, clearly insinuating that he was scrawny. He let go of him and walked away, expecting Qifrey to follow him. The questions were racing through his mind.

“Is the Torch not taking care of this village properly ?”

“Well, my wife says I am eternally unsatisfied and she might be right. However, they truly are doing the bare minimum. They come once a year to check if the fire and beasts protections are still effective and that’s about it. I am already grateful, of course, but we’ve had better days.”

As they were walking towards the center, everyone was stopping to look at Qifrey. They were curious. Nobody ever visited this place. They arrived at the man’s home.

“I realise now that I forgot to ask your name, sir.” Qifrey asked

“Alar. And my dearest wife, Strega right here.” Alar opened the door and his wife was right behind, sat at the table of the living room, smoking a pipe. It had nothing to do with Dhyina’s. This one was short, deep, and entirely black. She squinted at the Witch.

“I wonder which tree produced this strange wood.”

Alar kissed his wife on the forehead and put the wood next to their fireplace. She stood up to greet the newcomer.

“Nice to meet you, Witch. What can we do for you?”

“Actually, my name is-”

“He needs something hot. I found him at the border. For how long have you been walking like that ?”

“I’d say three to four hours.” Qifrey said, giving up on the idea of being called anything else than ‘Witch’.

“Poor thing, you must be exhausted! Sit down, don’t be shy.” Strega exclaimed, joining her husband in the kitchen to offer their guest a proper meal. The kitchen was only a corner of the living room, not a room in itself. The house was quite small.

“I’m fine, really.” He couldn’t tell them how many heat seals he’d drawn on his clothes. He was getting impatient.

“I said earlier that I was looking for someone. Maybe you could also help me with that ?”

“Do tell us !”

“Do you know where I could find Kina of the Torch ?”

The couple suddenly stopped. Strega turned to her husband but spoke to Qifrey.

“What do you want from her ?”

“I just need to know if she has any news about her brother.”

“This family has suffered enough. You shouldn’t disturb them. They are good people.” her husband says.

“I’m a good friend of Olruggio’s. I don’t want to cause them any trouble, believe me. Are they here?”

Strega shook her head, pouring boiling water into a teapot.

“The children left almost twenty years ago.”
“And with them, the last competent witches in the village.”

“Will you stop complaining?” She gives her husband a tap on the head.

“I was gonna say something nice afterwards! Their branch of the family was good to us. They were really approachable and always ready to help. Alas, their cousin took over the village and they’ve been neglecting us since.”

Strega rolled her eyes and set the table. Her husband was still in the kitchen, stirring something over the oven.

“He doesn’t care about that. He’s looking for the kid.” She looked up at Qifrey. “I think I told you to sit down.” He obeyed to avoid offending her. Strega had a very authoritarian tone. He felt quite uncomfortable in this house that wasn’t his, with complete strangers who obviously wanted to chat. “Anyway…They used to come back frequently after what happened, at least once a year. Although we haven’t seen them in almost a decade.” Qifrey frowned.

“What happened ?”

“Well…Alar was there.”

Alar brought a plate to Qifrey. It was filled with mashed potatoes, cheese, and sausages.

“I don’t want to ruin his appetite.”

“Well, now I’m really curious. And I’m starving if that can reassure you.” To prove his point, Qifrey took a spoon of mash. He almost burnt himself.

“I used to work for Hiugo, Kina and Olruggio’s father. I did a bit of gardening and cleaning around the castle, but mostly babysitting, to be frank.” Indeed, on their way to Alar’s house, they had seen a small grey stone castle. The thing seemed abandoned, as the flags on the towers were completely worn and dirty. When he had walked past it, Qifrey thought it was gloomy. But now that he knew Olruggio had grown up between these walls, he wanted to visit. “I was especially taking care of the young boy since Kina was always shuffled from tutor to tutor and from town to town. Heiress business…I still don’t understand why someone would want to raise siblings so differently.”

“Good thing that’s not what we’re asking of you, then. Will you just tell the damn story? No one cares about the details.” his wife had interrupted him. He gave her a reproachful look because of her swearing, but he kept going. She lifted her pipe to her mouth, unimpressed.

“Where was I? Right, so, their mother died after a long disease and soon after that, maybe two months later, a fire broke out in village nearby. Hiugo wanted to go there to help, and Olruggio insisted on joining him; he wanted to see his father work. He must have been around eleven years old or not much older. Hiugo accepted, but he asked me to keep an eye on his son. We went there with a few other men from the area. We can’t count on anyone here, so we’re all a bit doctors, repairers, soldiers and even firefighters if needed. Halfway through the forest…”

His voice faded. He was at a loss for words, his gaze obstinately turned towards the tiles of the floor. His wife patted his shoulder to give him strength. He cleared his throat.

“Anyway…We were attacked that night. The fire had reached the hunter’s house, and with it the wolf enclosure. The beasts were free, hungry, and terrified. We’re used to living with dogs and wolves, ya’ know. I had never seen such violence and never have since. I’m convinced that beasts can’t be so brutal if treated right and these were not treated correctly. Hiugo paid the price. The pack of wolves fell on us from nowhere, we couldn’t see a thing in the dark. We came prepared to fight a fire, not animals, so we didn’t have any weapons with us. We tried our usual tricks, but they were untrained. We’ve been shredded to pieces. Hiugo saved many of us thanks to his magic. The kid also tried to fight them off. But eventually, one beast attacked Hiugo and tore his entire arm off. I couldn’t think straight, so I just took the kid, and we immediately ran back to the village. Olruggio struggled in my arms as he wanted to stay with his father. He even bit my ear to escape! I still got the scar.”

As he said that, he showed his right ear with an almost proud smile, although his gaze was tinted with sadness. A shadow quickly reappeared on his face, and his smile turned into an embarrassed wince.

“We came back, eventually, followed by what was left of our group. Thankfully, the protections disoriented the beasts, so they didn’t follow us into the town. My friends carried Hiugo but we couldn’t save him. He bled to death in front of his helpless son.”

The silence in the room was almost deafening. They were right, Qifrey hadn’t touched his plate. He knew nothing of Olruggio’s history. When they met, they were fourteen and daring, looking forward to the future. When they talked about the past, it was often about Qifrey’s mysteries. Olruggio had mentioned that his sister was his only family, but he’d said nothing about the traumatic events leading to this situation. Qifrey felt horribly guilty. He had been so focused on his own suffering that he ignored his friend’s for years. Alar cut his train of thoughts by clapping once in order to change the subject.

“Both parents are buried just outside the city. After that, the children went to their uncle in Surëstad, and we haven’t seen them much since.” You say you’re a friend of Olruggio’s, how’s he doing ?”

Alar understood Qifrey would not be eating any more, so he replaced his plate with a mug of beer. Qifrey accepted it gladly and knocked it back a bit too quickly.

“I haven’t seen him in a few months. He’s a brilliant witch, renowned for his work across the entire peninsula. When we parted he was fine, but I’m looking for him to make sure it’s still the case.”

Alar smiled like a proud father.

“I knew he would succeed. His father kept repeating he had a gift, already helping out at nine years old…” He dragged his fingers through his beard, lost in happy memories.

“Well, if you think he’s with his sister, you should go to Surëstad. As the heiress, she must be living there in her old uncle’s castle.” said Strega as she was exhaling a puff of smoke. Alar nodded and Qifrey smiled, grateful and hopeful.

“That’s what I will do then. Would you mind pointing Surëstad on my map ?" He opened his bag and unfolded his old map flat on the table. It was already covered in red crosses, to mark the places he already searched. Alar put a black cross further north from where they were. Qifrey couldn't suppress his smile.

Can I repay you with my services? I understand the town needs a bit of work. Heating, water cleaning, leaky roof, how can I help?” He put the map back in his bag. Their faces lit up.

“Since you’re offering, we do have a few broken tiles on the roof. And the neighbour is pregnant; she said she was struggling to bring water to her house. Although I don’t exactly know what you can do about it…”

“Worry not, magic finds its way.”

Qifrey set about helping everyone in the village. For the first time, he had a clear destination.

Chapter Text

La pire des bénédictions
La plus belle des malédictions
De toi, j'devrais m'éloigner
[...]
C'est quelle émotion, la haine
Ou la douceur, quand j'entends ton prénom?

Je t'avais dit "ne regarde pas en arrière"
Le passé qui te suit te fait la guerre

Mais ma meilleure ennemie c'est toi
Fuis-moi, le pire c'est toi et moi
Mais ma meilleure ennemie c'est toi
Fuis-moi, le pire c'est toi et moi

Je t'aime, je te hais, je t'aime, je te hais

Stromae & Pomme-Ma Meilleure Ennemie

“You’re late, lad. She died almost six months ago. Her family left the city.”

Qifrey’s shoulders dropped, and he almost seemed to shrink. Kina was not a friend, but she was Olruggio’s sister. She did not deserve such a fate. She was only a few years older than they were.

“Too much memories, they said. Nonsense, if you ask me…” the lady kept going, uncaring of Qifrey’s reaction.

He was barely listening. Even if they didn’t see each other a lot, Olruggio was probably distraught about the news. The woman was blabbering about everything that wasn’t important. She was talking about the town’s new witches, the extended family of Kina’s husband, apparently. Indeed, they were in Guhr. Qifrey had visited Surestad to follow Kina’s track. Once he was there, he learnt she had joined her husband in Guhr when she married. Hence his presence in this large city. It was a lot of work to find someone he didn’t like in the slightest. He felt his hopes crumbling. Without Kina, he really had no idea how to find Olruggio. Two questions were burning his tongue, so he interrupted the woman in the middle of her sentence.

“What happened? Does her brother know?”

“He was with her until the very end.” she nodded, “I heard she had been ill for quite some time, so maybe that’s why he came to visit. He was right to, since…well.”

She never finished her sentence, like suddenly realising that she was talking about a family tragedy and not only a town gossip. Qifrey cleared his throat to dismiss his embarrassment. He didn’t want to seem insensitive, but his primary concern was Olruggio. Was he losing track of his best friend for good or getting closer to finding him ?

“You mentioned that her family left. Was her brother with them? I am looking for him. Do you know where they went ?”

“Yeah, they went all together, the husband, the son, and him. You’re lucky to have found me since I’m the one who takes care of the horses of the Delaru family. I saddled the kid’s pony when they left. His father told me they were going to this village down south…I forgot the name…Rapkit! It is Rapkit. It’s in the middle of nowhere, really. That man is always so odd,” she continued, clearly having strong opinions about everyone.

Qifrey stopped listening to her once again. He wanted to fly there as soon as possible. It was the first time in his research that someone mentioned directly seeing Olruggio since he left him. His heart seemed lighter suddenly. Once again, he asked a random stranger to mark the place on his already worn out map. Although the parchment was covered in notes and crosses, it was worth it. For once, his destination was not even further north, which was rare. He thanked her warmly and took off. It was the very beginning of April, the weather was becoming slightly milder so he could finally fly with his sylph shoes, which was much faster than walking through the snow. He had to go straight south, according to the map. After two long hours of flying, he landed at the edge of a pine forest. He was freezing because of the cold air from the heights. His shaking hands drew a simple fire seal, and he sat on a stump, trying to warm his hands up. The sun was beginning to set. Maybe he should stop here for the day and try again from here next week. Tomorrow’s lesson for the girls wasn’t quite ready, and he still had to work. He wasn’t sure to have energy left for that if he kept going today.

“Are you lost, sir ?”

Qifrey suddenly turned around, startled. A man was standing in the forest behind him. He was tall and had an impressive stature. His long red hair was braided with his beard and he was wearing a bow across his shoulder. Two partridges, as well as a few daggers, were hanging from his belt. A hunter. It was a miracle that he had come this close to him without being heard. Qifrey might have felt intimidated if he had not seen his pointy, dark green hat.

“Kind of. But I always find my way in the end.” Qifrey says while putting on his own white hat that he had taken off to fly. He stands up after tearing the paper with the fire seal on it.

“Oh, it is rare to come across a witch I don’t know in the area! Nice to meet you. What brought you to this remote land? The name’s Reggie, by the way.” The man had closed the distance between them in barely a few steps. He was shaking Qifrey’s hand energetically and offering a wide and warm smile. Qifrey was almost blinded by so much radiance. This man’s accent was easier to understand. It was strong but more refined than any of the accents he had heard before. Qifrey wondered if he was nobility.

“I’m Qifrey, it’s a pleasure to meet you too.”

“Qifrey…I heard that name somewhere.” Qifrey had to force himself not to let his own smile drop. He was the found child, the odd one. Many people had heard his story at the Great Hall. Qifrey didn’t miss the wary glances he used to receive as a child, so he did nothing to refresh Reggie’s memory.

“Well, I don’t think I know you…”

“Anyway, join me for a meal! I’m not letting you in the wild like that.”

“It’s very kind of you, but I ought to head back home before dinner.”

“And how are you planning to get home at this hour ?”

“I have a windoway rolled up in my bag.”

“This?” Reggie pointed at the ground behind Qifrey, where he had just sat. Next to his heavy backpack, a rolled parchment was already half burnt because of the fire he had just extinguished. He must have let it fall over when he turned towards the newcomer. Seeing the desperate look on Qifrey’s face, Reggie burst out laughing. “I assume you don’t have enough paper to draw another one, do you ?”

“Indeed, I only have my palmquire.”

“Come with me, then. I’m not very good at big seals, but I can at least give you the paper you need. To repay me, you’ll accept a beer !”

“Well, it is a reasonable price.” Reggie laughed out loud at that once again. Qifrey didn’t think it was so funny, but followed him anyway. They walked for a few minutes deeper into the woods. Qifrey stumbled on a root but stayed on his feet. “Do you live in Rapkit? If I’m correct, the village is not too far from here.”

“I do not.” Reggie answered after checking a rabbit trap. “I yearn for peace and quiet. It makes encounters such as this one even more enjoyable, you see.”

Qifrey found it hard to imagine a man so jovial alone in the woods, but maybe that was the key to his happiness. Qifrey tried to imagine living alone, in the middle of nowhere. The latter was easier to picture, but he was positive that being left alone with his thoughts would drive him crazy. He had to be busy dealing with other people’s problems in order to forget his own.

“May I ask what you do for a living? I’m curious about how you do your acts of benevolence from here.”

“Oh, you may ask. I am the chief administrator of the area. I used to travel a lot to solve problems here and there but... Currently, I am on a break. Don’t worry about my acts of benevolence, I always meet a few outsiders.” Still ahead of Qifrey, Reggie cut a few ferns with his machete to open the way. Night was falling and walking through the dense forest was becoming more and more complicated. Qifrey did not dare to ask when they were arriving, though. A loud laugh broke the silence of the forest. Reggie grinned almost proudly. “That’s my son. We’re almost there.”

Qifrey’s shoulders relaxed. He hadn’t even noticed they were tense before. Following a complete stranger in the forest was not exactly a comfortable situation. Knowing that he was a father-like him he surprised himself thinking-reassured him somehow.

“Oh, so you live with your son !”

“I never said I lived alone.”

They passed a bush and there was Reggie’s house: it was a large colourful yurt, surrounded by paper lanterns. The whole place was well lit: a fire was crackling a few meters from the entrance. Reggie’s son, a young boy who couldn’t be much older than seven years old, was running after a miniature fire dragon whirling in the air.

“Don’t go so fast, you’ll trip !”

Qifrey’s eye followed the voice, and he suddenly stopped walking to focus and make sure his mind wasn’t playing tricks on him. Here was Olruggio, pensively smiling while looking at his nephew. Olruggio shook his head, defeated, and put his wand in his pocket before going back to his task. He was cutting wood with an axe. He had rolled up his sleeves, and Qifrey could tell from his sweat and the smoke in his breath that he was out of breath. His hair was longer than ever, he had put it in a small bun carelessly to have it out of sight. Even his goatee had grown. Reggie was talking, but he could barely hear him through the chaos of his own thoughts.

“You’re Regus Delaru.”

Regus stopped, surprised, and dismissed Qifrey with a hand gesture.

“No one ever calls me that. How do you…” Regus suddenly raised his eyebrows. “Oh! You’re Olruggio’s friend! I knew I heard someone talking about a Qifrey. Hey Olruggio, look who I found !”

He had raised his deep voice to reach Olruggio’s ears. The blue witch turned his head towards them and dropped his axe on the floor next to him when he recognized Qifrey. Qifrey stepped forward to join his friend but quickly stepped back, hesitant. Olruggio seemed completely frozen. Regus took his forearm and pulled him towards the yurt, mistaking his behaviour for an excess of politeness.

“Come closer, don’t be shy !”

The kid finally caught the fire dragon and as soon as his hands touched it, the dragon was replaced by a puff of smoke and only a small piece of paper remained. He also looked at the newcomer. Qifrey was surprised by how much the kid resembled Olruggio. His father’s genes didn’t even fight. He had the same black hair as his late mother and the same delicate facial features. From his father, he only had freckles and grey eyes. Regus looked a bit too proud of himself when presenting Qifrey to Olruggio.

“He’s the one you used to live with, right ?”

“How did you find me?” Olruggio asked, almost threatening Qifrey with his glance. Sensing the tension, Regus let go of Qifrey’s arm, looking slightly more worried. Qifrey withstood his gaze.

“I’ve been looking for you for months. I did every city, every village-”

“During winter? Have you lost your mind?” Distrust had left his face, immediately replaced by concern.

“I needed to see you.”

Olruggio opened his mouth, but no sound came out. He rubbed the back of his neck, as he always did when embarrassed. He turned towards Regus.

“Reggie, do you mind cooking while we have a word inside ?”

“Of course we don’t mind.” he said while putting his firm hand on his son’s shoulder.

Olruggio swallowed, obviously uncomfortable, and tilted his head to invite Qifrey to follow him inside. Once they passed the curtain, heat dropped on them. Qifrey felt his heart miss a beat. He had missed Olruggio’s warm and comforting magic. The yurt welcomed them; Olruggio dedicated an entire side of the room to his atelier. Wooden tools seemed to grow on his desk like mushrooms. On the other side, three hammocks were hanging close to the floor next to a coffee table with a board of chess on top of it. Toys were scattered across the room. Now that he was close to him, Qifrey could have a good look at Olruggio despite the dim lighting of the room. He had rarely seen him so exhausted: he had dark circles under his eyes and everything in his behaviour was screaming his tiredness. He almost tripped on the rug. Olruggio interrupted Qifrey in his contemplation. He was well aware of his current state and did not like to be stared at.

“How are the girls ?”

Qifrey smiled faintly. Of course, his first words were about the girls.

“They’re well. They are all making progress and studying seriously. Agott has grown several centimeters in just a few weeks, you could almost see her grow in real time.”

Olruggio nodded, but Qifrey noticed him wince slightly. He did not understand what had upset him in his answer.

“They miss you too, you know.”

Olruggio’s glance became harsher and once again, Qifrey couldn’t quite grasp why his words, that he wanted comforting, were producing such an effect. Olruggio was trying to hide his thoughts, but Qifrey knew him too well. Each fiber of his body wanted to embrace him, but he restrained himself. Olruggio invited him to sit on a cushion at the coffee table. He then sat in front of him, putting the chessboard on the floor without moving the pieces. Qifrey felt like Olruggio was buying time to figure out what to say. He had fantasized about this moment for months, but he never imagined that they would be so embarrassed with each other. They were like strangers. Qifrey hated that.

“I’m sorry about Kina.”

“You don’t have to pretend to like her.”

“I’m not pretending. Kina didn’t like me because my reputation was tarnishing yours at the Great Hall. She was right. She cared deeply about you, which makes her a wonderful sister. It’s really all that matters to me.”

Olruggio looked down at his nervous hands placed on the table. He was avoiding eye contact with Qifrey at all costs.

“It’s just so…unfair. She died just like my mother and her own mother before her: after two months of pointless suffering and agony. And we just stood there, useless…Women seem to be cursed in this family.”

Qifrey felt guilt wrap around his heart. He had left him alone to face this. He hesitantly reached for his hand across the table. Olruggio tensed and finally looked at him for an instant. Qifrey lifted his hand, embarrassed, but Olruggio used his other hand to keep it close. Qifrey struggled to keep his composure.

“I bet you didn’t even cry. You never do.”
Olruggio frowned for a second, then he smiled faintly, still looking away. Qifrey knew him too well. Now that he visited the place of his upbringing, witnessed the harsh elements, the kindness of the people, and the strength needed for survival there, he understood his friend’s personality better than ever.

“Indeed. I don’t have the right to. I must have seen her four times over the last decade. Reggie lost his wife and the mother of his son. He was a mess a few months ago and now he’s just hiding it better. One of us had to stay strong, if only for Ril.”

From context, Qifrey understood that Ril was the kid’s name. He held his hand slightly tighter.

“You’re wrong, Olly.” Olruggio frowned imperceptibly. The message got through. Olruggio was still upset. Maybe it was best to avoid nicknames for the time being. Qifrey was already lucky to be allowed to touch him. “She’s been your sister for twenty-eight years, and you always followed each other’s life. You have every right to be sad.” Olruggio winced before nodding, eventually.

“I just never realized how much she mattered…I’m the only one who remembers our parents now and I already forgot their voices.” Olruggio’s eyes got watery. He was ashamed of how easy it was for Qifrey to expose him. It was only in front of him that he could get in such a state. As for Qifrey, he was moved to hear him talk about his parents. He had asked questions many years ago, but Olruggio had always been evasive in his answers. Despite their row, Qifrey felt like he had rarely felt this close to his best friend.

Someone knocked at the entrance. It was Ril, struggling to balance two cups of tea on a little tray. He had knocked on the wooden frame of the yurt with his boot. Both men pulled back their hands, as if caught doing something improper. Olruggio immediately stood up to help his nephew.

“Father said you might want something to drink with your friend…”

“Brilliant idea, thanks to you both.” Ril smiled and went back outside after doing a head sign in Qifrey’s direction. Olruggio came back to the table and sat, giving a cup to Qifrey. He took a sip before clearing his throat and his mind at the same time. “I assume you didn’t come all this way to hear me talk about that. I have been quite busy lately, and I barely had time to think. Still, I’m interested in what you have to say for yourself.”

Qifrey swallowed with great difficulty. He couldn’t hide by drinking his tea, it was boiling hot. He would have given anything to hold hands with Olruggio again, to give him strength. Qifrey took off his pointy hat and put it on the table between their cups. He unclipped the front part and turned it towards Olruggio. “I removed it. When I used this seal on you, it was because you were getting too close to the Brimmed Hats. As much as I want to, I cannot let go of them, and you know why. I couldn’t bear the idea of you getting hurt because of me. This was my way to protect you,” Olruggio frowned, but Qifrey was too focused inwards to notice. “But it was wrong, terribly wrong, and I felt vile when I did it. It is absolutely no excuse, but I want you to understand that it wasn’t something that I took lightly.” Qifrey seemed to breathe for the first time since he started talking. He had imagined what he was going to say so much that it felt more like reciting a memory. However, noticing the deadpan expression of Olruggio troubled him. His well prepared speech left his mind and suddenly he felt more hesitant. Was he saying the right things? “I am not worthy of either your trust or your loyalty. Although…I think you’ve always known that. You’ve always been with me despite all my antics, my selfishness, and even if it’s unfair, I want you to come back home. I hate living without you.”

Olruggio pinched his lips together, staring at his cup for a while. His silence seemed like an eternity to Qifrey.

“Qifrey, do you understand why I left ?” he seemed surprised by the question but stammered an answer anyway.

“You have been quite explicit in your letter. I betrayed your trust so it became suffocating for you to be around me, which I understand.” Saying that last sentence out loud broke his heart a little more.

“That’s right. But there is more to it. By wiping my memory, you have proven that there are things that you consider more valuable, more important than our relationship. I couldn’t quite grasp the feeling back then but I realise now…You’re the most important person in my life. Despite what you said,” The sentence we love each other, don’t we ? still haunted him. “Your actions tell me that this feeling is not mutual. And it was impossible for me to process that while having you around, clouding my judgement. I needed time to figure out what my life was without you in it.”

A spark of anger hatched in Qifrey’s eye. Of fear, too.

“I did the most horrible thing because I wanted to protect you, don’t you understand ? The way I did it is questionable but I can’t let you say that you don’t matter. Everything I do is because you matter. I want to keep you out of my business because I can’t bear the idea of you getting hurt. The thought of our future is the only thing that gives me the strength to eat. I want to retrieve what the Brimmed Hats took from me, solely because I want to be able to see you grow old. I just spent months looking for you all around the north in the middle of winter. You can accuse me of many things, but not caring about you as much as you do is not one of them. ”

Qifrey was almost out of breath after his monologue. Olruggio’s wince was unreadable, but his ears were bright red.

“Ok, ok, you care. Doesn’t mean you don’t have a strange way to show it.” He had muttered that in his beard, looking down, almost ashamed. Qifrey offered him no break whatsoever.

“Do you find it better?” Olruggio looked up and frowned.

“What?” he asked. All traces of outrage had left Qifrey’s expression. Now he looked almost like he was pleading.

“Life without me.” Qifrey was staring at Olruggio, trying to guess what was happening in his mind. After unclenching his jaw, the fire witch eventually gave an answer.

“What do you think? Do I look like I’ve never been happier?”

“Not exactly..” Qifrey admitted, his eyes lingering once again on Olruggio’s unkept beard. Oddly enough, he wanted to run his hands through it.

“My sister died, and I ended up supporting her husband. I’m glad I did, and I’ll never regret following him through these rough times. He needed to get away from his daily obligations to mourn correctly, so I followed him in this remote place. Even so, it’s far from what I imagined as a break. I wanted to drown my sorrows with you, but you weren’t there. When I’m tired from work, you’re not there to tell me to stop. I lost weight because you’re not there to stuff me anymore. Here, I only have one kid to disturb me instead of five,” This got a smile out of Qifrey. “I barely cook anymore, and I get frustrated with the smallest things…I miss the person I am when you’re around. I don’t regret leaving, but no, I can’t say that I’m enjoying it.” Qifrey should have felt bad, but his shoulders had visibly hunched in relief.

“You’ll come back, then?” Qifrey leaned on the table, craving for proximity.

“I will. But things have to change. No more lies, ever again. If you welcome me back, you’ll accept my help with the Brimmed Hats.” Qifrey’s eye twitched, but he nodded.

"I promise you.” He wouldn’t be able to undergo the misery of having Olruggio far from him for so long a second time. Not knowing if he was safe had been the worst part, he couldn’t go back to such misery. “Can we go now? I hope the girls didn’t wait for me to eat dinner…”

“I can’t just leave right now, silly. I won’t abandon my brother-in-law and nephew. And I have all my stuff to collect.” Qifrey blushed when confronted with his own impatience. He wanted to bring him back home as soon as possible. “Now that you found me, we’ll just get organised through windoways and when Reggie eventually gets sick of me, I’ll come back.”

“It could take ages, you’re very difficult to get sick of.” Qifrey looked genuinely worried, and Olruggio smiled faintly.

“I won’t rush anything. It’s important for me to make things right for them.”

“I’m not asking you to. I know you are a kindhearted and selfless man. That’s why I like you so much.”

“Don’t.” Olruggio swallowed, obviously embarrassed and thinking about what he was going to say. “Don’t say things like that, please.”
That surprised Qifrey. “Why?” It had always been his way of showing affection. Olruggio craved recognition, so he was always helping out, attentive to everyone’s wishes and Qifrey’s words of thanks and praise were the best form of reward. Olruggio finished his cup of tea before mumbling an answer.

“I’ll start to think that you mean it.” Qifrey frowned, as he was not sure to have heard the whole sentence. He was already opening his mouth to ask him to repeat, but Olruggio pulled the rug from under him. “You said the girls were waiting for you. Don’t starve them.” He stood up with difficulty under Qifrey’s worried gaze.

“Does your knee hurt?”

“Yes. It doesn’t like the cold and humidity. Stop making this face, it’ll pass. I’m getting old, that’s all.”

“Please be careful to not strain it.” Olruggio rolled his eyes and then offered Qifrey his hand to help him stand up. Qifrey took it, more because he wanted to hold it than because he needed it. Once he was back on his feet, Olruggio opened his hand, but Qifrey didn’t let go and pulled Olruggio closer. Qifrey’s embrace startled him. He needed to feel him close after being apart for so long. Olruggio hesitantly returned the embrace.

“I chopped wood for an hour, I sweated…” he started to apologise, but Qifrey cut him short.

“I don’t care.” he said, tightening his grasp. He could feel Olruggio’s heart beating against his hands laying on his friend’s back. Qifrey gladly inhaled his friend’s bewitching smell in his neck. He hadn’t even realised that he had missed it. This moment lasted only for a few seconds, but it was enough to start to fill up the pit of despair that had been deepening inside him over those long months. Qifrey had never felt Olruggio so muscular, and he didn’t dislike it. Life in the north was definitely strenuous. Eventually they split. Qifrey was looking down, suddenly ashamed of his burst of sentimentalism.

“Like you said, the girls are waiting. Get your bag, I’ll open a windoway for you.” said Olruggio, rummaging in a chest, looking for paper.
Qifrey nodded, sad to be brushed off. He didn’t say anything, however. Olruggio usually needed time to think, and coming back after the biggest row they ever had was definitely a big decision. Qifrey only hoped that so much thinking wouldn’t change his mind. He went to the door to grab his heavy leather bag. Reggie was carrying a basket filled with nettles. He stopped when he saw him.

“I apologize if I put any or both of you in an embarrassing position. I got a bit too enthusiastic about meeting an acquaintance of Olruggio. I didn’t think.”

“You have nothing to apologise for. Thanks to your hospitality, I found him. I’m glad I came here. Also,” Qifrey put a hand on Reggie’s shoulder. “Thank you for taking care of him.” Reggie opened his eyes wide, astonished.

“He’s the one taking care of us.” he said, almost shamingly. Qifrey opened his mouth to answer back but Olruggio called him from inside the yurt, which cut him short. The windoway was ready. Reggie followed Qifrey inside to say goodbye.

“It’s already finished? You’re skilled, but even you can’t draw such a complicated seal so fast.”

“Well…It was already done. I wanted to have it just in case, to go to the atelier.” Olruggio seemed embarrassed, scratching his nape once again, but the idea filled Qifrey with fondness.

They only exchanged a glance before Qifrey passed through the windoway. Qifrey looked back and Olruggio nodded to reassure him. He wasn’t running away this time, he would stay right there. Once the windoway was closed, Reggie nudged him.

“So…Is he your special somebody ?”

Olruggio almost choked on his own saliva. The type of relationship Regus was referring to was usually quite frowned upon in the north, where people had very traditional values. Hearing such a thing in his brother-in-law’s mouth was simply jarring.

“I beg your pardon ?”

“Am I mistaken? There’s just something about the way he looks at you…”

“Shut up!” Olruggio gave him a tap on the head. Reggie only answered with a wide smile.

“Your answer is yes, then ?”

********************************

When Qifrey climbed the stairs, he was surprised to see the clock. It really was much later than he thought.

“What kept you so long? The girls are already up; I was beginning to worry.” Dhyina was reading in the living room thanks to the light of one of her orbs and the dying fire. She had closed her book when Qifrey entered.

“I found him.”

Dhyina immediately stood up, stomping on her green skirt clumsily.

“Where? How? How is he?”

“In the middle of a forest with his sister’s husband. He’s alright.”

“Is he coming back?”

“He will, but he has to settle a few things first.”

“Did he say when? Will you tell the girls?” Dhyina was slightly frowning. Qifrey figured she was worried about her position as a Watchful Eye.

“I’ll tell them tomorrow morning. Olruggio didn’t say when he would come back here. But whatever happens, I’m not throwing you out until you have a place to go.” She smiled sadly.

“That’s very kind of you…You must be exhausted after such a long day. The girls were hungry tonight, so they ate everything. I’ll make you a little something.”

“Thank you, but there’s no need. I feel like cooking.”

Je te laisserai des mots
En dessous de ta porte
En dessous de la lune qui chante
Tout près de la place où tes pieds passent
Cachés dans les trous de ton divan
Et quand tu es seule pendant un instant

Embrasse-moi
Quand tu voudras
Embrasse-moi.

Je te laisserai des mots-Patrick Watson

Chapter Text

And I feel so damn lucky
To have you on my arm
And I can’t help but wonder
How we ended up alright
And I love you like no other
Cause this has never felt so right

Yeah you can keep me warm on a cold night
Warm on a cold cold night

HONNE-Warm On a Cold Night

Regus took the pelt off his shoulders and grabbed a basket of clean laundry. The weather was getting hotter each day. Summer was coming. It was Kina’s favourite part of the year, and he would always mock her lectures about nature’s renewal and her other poetic blathering. He felt stupid for mocking her now. After helping his son with an unknown word from his book, he entered the yurt and dropped the heavy basket next to their drawers. Olruggio immediately put his wand aside to join him. Regus sat directly on the floor and started folding a white shirt. The contraption maker lifted his thick magnifying lenses, leaving an empty golden frame on his nose, and brought a stool for himself. He sat on it and also started folding.

“If you sit on the floor, you’ll never stand up again ?” Regus said with a grin, teasingly.

“I’m afraid so. I feel like an old man, I can’t wait for summer already, so this damn knee starts working again.” Regus laughed loudly. It was his only way to laugh, anyway.

“Wait until you’re thirty-two, or thirty-three. That’s when your body will really begin to fail you!” Olruggio struggled to imagine in what ways Regus, such a gigantic and strong man, was declining.

“Great, I have four years ahead of me, what an optimistic perspective.” Olruggio smiled. “Stop talking like an old wise man, you’re still far from being one.”

“Well, I’m fourty. Wisdom will come eventually.” They both smiled and continued their task. After a brief silence, Regus made a suggestion. “Although there is a simple solution for your old injury, other than waiting for summer.”

“I am all ears.” Olruggio said, closing the last drawer.

“Down south, the weather is better.” Olruggio tensed and looked at Regus gravely, taking a long second to respond.

“Are you asking me to leave, Reggie ?”

“I suppose I am.”

“You’re going back to Guhr ?”

“I have to, eventually. I can’t keep hiding here forever. I have a duty of care towards this region and I entrusted it to my brother for far too long already. Ril will have to find a master soon and even for him, it’s better to go back to real life with his friends. It’s obvious that you too must return home. I noticed you’re not receiving as many orders as you used to. I would hate for you to risk your career because of my need for isolation.”

“Don’t worry about that; I’m not risking anything. I’m just not showing up at society events anymore. As soon as I attend again, I’ll sink under the orders.”

“Good to hear. But that’s not my main concern about you, to be honest.” Olruggio frowned. He was not supposed to weigh on his brother-in-law’s mind at all. He already had enough on his plate. “You have people to go back to, people who are waiting for you. I can tell this way of life is straining your health and I would hate to give you back to your girls all broken.”

“But it’s not about me, is it? Are you sure you’ll be able to go back to your daily life? You should take all the time you need.”

“We’ve been there for seven months, Olruggio. I’ll never be able to behave like nothing happened, but I guess…I need to go back to the living world. The three of us need to. Also, Ril and I must find a new balance as a family. Well, a family of two.” Regus’ eyes got watery, and he suddenly looked down, almost ashamed. Olruggio put a comforting hand on his back. It was the first time in months that Regus was breaking, at least in front of him. During the first two months after Kina’s death, Regus cried very often, and when he would run out of tears, he seemed lost in painful thoughts, staring in the distance. The only thing he found the strength to do was comfort his son and as soon as he wasn’t with him, he would collapse again. And one January morning he stopped crying. And Olruggio was not all alone to support them anymore. But Regus’ sudden silence had not exactly been more reassuring. “Of course you’re part of the family too, don’t get me wrong-”

“I know what you meant.”

“Also, no matter what you say, it is about you too. You should be able to grieve your sister without her noisy husband underfoot. I hope we’ll see more of each other in the future though, Ril and I enjoyed your company.”

“Yes, I appreciated getting to know you too. I wish we had done it sooner.”

****************************

“Richeh, I can’t believe you took my ribbons again !”

“I used them to decorate Dhyina’s gift. You agreed, remember ?”

“I did not !”

“You did, I heard you.” Coco corrected, almost apologetically.

Silenced, Tetia settled on sulking alone.

“Why did you need ribbons for, anyway?” Agott asked nonchalantly, turning the page of her book. They were all lying on the floor of Tetia and Richeh’s room. Agott was reading her tales book, only partially paying attention to the conversation of her friends. Tetia was trying to braid her own pink hair in front of a hand mirror held by Coco. Richeh was staring at the ceiling, laid flat on the rug.

“I wanted to put them in our hair. All occasions to dress up are good, and Master Olruggio returning is quite the occasion! How can you all be so calm?” Tetia tried to justify.

“He said he would be here today but never gave the exact time. We can’t just stretch our excitement for hours like you.” Agott winced. While talking, she had lost focus and her line at the same time.

“You are not fun. Not even you, Richeh ?”

“I miss Dhyina.” Richeh answered without even turning her head towards her friend.

“Never satisfied !”

“I miss her too, she was sweet. But at least Master Olruggio is coming back, Professor Qifrey is over the moon and after all, she left for something better.” Coco added. Tetia raised Coco’s wrist as her hand had begun to slowly fall away under the heavy weight of the mirror. Tetia mumbled an apology, one of her braids stuck between her teeth, and promised Coco that she was almost done.

“Did she say if her sister’s baby was a boy or a girl?” Agott asked, closing her book for good and giving up on reading.

“It’s a boy. It’s very kind of her to go help her sister out. I remember that when my little brother arrived, my mom was at the end of her tether for a few months.” Richeh finally turned her head, surprised to learn that Tetia had a brother and never mentioned him. Before she could speak, a few polite knocks on the door cut her off.

“Come in!” Tetia said very loud and enthusiastically. Qifrey cracked the door and poked his head inside. He had given his apprentices a day off for Olruggio’s return and he was glad to see that they were enjoying it. He couldn’t count how many times he had caught Agott working on days or at hours she shouldn’t. Beyond his desire to give them a break, Qifrey also knew that he was in such a state of excitement himself, he wouldn’t have been able to teach them anything today.

“Lunch will be ready in a minute. I’m waiting for you downstairs.” The girls all nodded, already standing up. “Also, since you didn’t set the table, I’m expecting you to help me with the dishes once we’re done. Not only Tetia, all of you.” He gave them a calm smile, displaying his usual angelic innocence, but the girls froze. His annoyance was clear to them all. He could be slightly passive aggressive when he wanted to. Qifrey closed the door behind him and the girls seemed to breathe again.

“What time is it?” Tetia asked, worried. Setting the table was usually their job, but since their schedule had been disturbed for the day, they forgot.

“Obviously later than we thought.” answered Agott in an almost mournful manner.

The students made their way downstairs, and hearing Qifrey humming in the kitchen relaxed them. He wasn’t that crossed. It would have been extremely hard to cross him today, anyway. When they entered the room, he was smiling at the pot of stew. The girls chuckled for an instant, but said nothing more about it. They knew why he was smiling, and now that they were thinking about it, it hadn’t happened in a long time.

****************************

“My back is not made for this anymore.” Olruggio grunted once he finished climbing the stairs from the basement. He let his heavy sack fall on the floor and stretched. Coco beamed at him and ran towards the kitchen, dropping the pencils she was holding.

“Master Olruggio’s back!”

In only a few seconds, the entire house gathered around him. The girls ran in his direction to embrace him and he lifted them effortlessly, turning a deaf ear to his back and knee. When he put them back down, he looked at them, incapable of suppressing the wide smile on his face. He barely dared to blink, too afraid that if he did, he wouldn’t be able to etch this image in his memory. Agott and Tetia were slightly taller, Richeh’s hair was even longer than when he left and Coco had just lost a tooth. He mentally cursed himself for leaving so long.

“I apologise for my tardiness, the goodbyes stretched forever.”

“You’re forgiven.” Qifrey reassured him. The girls started to talk to him, doing their best to be heard in the middle of the hubbub. Olruggio tried to answer all of the questions and paid attention to each of the students. Arduous task. A question stood out, inexplicably louder than the others.

“Master Olruggio, what has happened to your hair?” Tetia asked, genuinely curious. Indeed, Olruggio made the effort to shave, leaving his usual goatee that had been longer than ever before. However, he did nothing to his hair. A string held it carelessly at the back of his head.

“No mirror, I didn’t dare to cut it. I hate it, it gets in the way, it will be gone soon.”

“I can do it for you if you need any help.” Qifrey said, still standing a few meters from the agitation. Their eyes met, and Olruggio was instantly transported back ten years to their teenage days. They always cut each other’s hair. When had they stopped? He silently nodded, slightly embarrassed. With a lingering smile on his face, Qifrey made a step forward and put his hands on Richeh's and Agott’s shoulders. “Come on girls, we don’t want to harass him as soon as he’s back. Let’s go make dinner while he settles in his atelier.”

“I’ll do that later. I wanna help.” Olruggio said hastily. The girls smiled. A return to good habits, finally they could cook together.

****************************

Tetia fell asleep first. After a hearty meal cooked and eaten in good company, she had followed the others into the living room. They all sat, some on the floor and others on the couch and armchairs to catch up. Olruggio told them stories about the north, the plants and animals, and the girls made a few spells to show off their improvement. Qifrey told them everything about his long quest and Olruggio couldn’t help but feel guilty to have put him through so much. Exhausted after a day of excitement and preparations, Tetia barely felt her eyelids close.

Agott pointed it out, Qifrey suggested a sleepover in the living room. Richeh and Coco agreed energetically and Olruggio and Agott agreed less energetically. They went upstairs to fetch blankets and pillows to be comfortable. The silence of the operation was almost comical. They were extremely cautious not to wake Tetia. Once everyone settled in, the conversation continued, and eventually Coco fell asleep.

Richeh followed Coco’s example in the late hours of the night and since she was glued to Olruggio and he wouldn’t dare to move anymore, she took him with her in the realm of dreams. His day had been quite hectic, filled with cleaning and tidying to move out, emotional goodbyes, and then an emotional reunion, followed by an awful lot of chatting, which emptied him of all energy. He usually could stay awake much longer. However, he hadn’t slept so deeply in months. His preoccupations in the forest with his brother-in-law and nephew always prevented him from enjoying a good night’s sleep, and earlier, while in the atelier, the subconscious fear of Qifrey wiping his memory kept him from sleeping soundly.

Agott and Qifrey turned off the lights and settled into their own sleeping bags. Qifrey couldn’t bring himself to take off his glasses. It would have been more comfortable, but he was too afraid to show his scar to his students when they would wake up. He turned around in his bed for long minutes before giving up and laying on his side, looking at Olruggio a few tens of centimeters from him. In the moonlight piercing through the window, he was magnificent. He looked so peaceful that for a moment, Qifrey wished he could still protect him from all his torments. But he wouldn’t do it. Olruggio wanted to follow him in his troubles, he wouldn’t force his refusal upon him again. Phrasing it like that, Qifrey felt even more guilty. What possessed him to betray this kind soul?

“Professor ?”

Qifrey silently started. Agott hadn’t spoken for almost an hour; he was certain she was asleep on the couch behind him.

“Sorry, I thought you were awake…”

“I was, don’t apologise.” He adopted the same muffled tone as her. They were barely muttering, and Qifrey doubted she could even hear him from the couch. He didn’t turn towards her, however, for fear of waking Olruggio in front of him. “You should be asleep; it’s late.”

“I can’t.”

“Is everything alright ?”

“Yes. But I have a question.”

“Tell me.”

“I can’t help but wonder…Master Olruggio seems to like it here. Why did he leave?” Qifrey was glad to be hidden in the darkness of the room, otherwise she would have seen his embarrassed expression. He curled up under his blanket a bit more.

“You’ll never surrender, will you ?”

“It’s literally keeping me awake at night. You know I hate not having the answers to my questions. I give you my word I won’t tell the others if that’s a problem.” Qifrey smiled, cursing his student’s curiosity.

“I would appreciate some secrecy, indeed. I’ll tell you the main part of it, but I can’t explain the rest. Would that satisfy you?” Agott nodded before realising that he couldn’t see her with his back turned.

“Yes. I won’t ask for more details.”

Qifrey sighed, thinking of what to say. “I hope you won’t judge me too harshly…”

“Well, Master Olruggio did not, since he came back.”

“After leaving for months…Anyway, no need to beat around the bush. I…I erased his memory. He learnt it, felt like he couldn’t trust me anymore, so he left.” Once again, he was glad not to face her directly. He imagined a surprised-or horrified face, but little did he know Agott simply nodded, sad for them but satisfied to see all the pieces of the puzzle finally coming together. She understood the situation. Olruggio’s reaction was logical, her professor’s embarrassment, guilt and blatant sadness made sense. Everything was falling into place. After a few seconds in embarrassed silence, Agott spoke again.

“Thank you for telling me. Good night, Professor”

Qifrey couldn’t say anything. He doesn’t exactly know what he was expecting, but certainly not such a lack of reaction. If he had been brave enough, he would have turned around to see her face. He heard Agott stir in her blankets and assumed she was trying to fall asleep, finally content. His gaze landed on Olruggio again. If he could deem him worthy of trust, enough to sleep so peacefully next to him, then maybe Qifrey wasn’t such a horrible person. At least, Agott hadn’t run away from him.

****************************

Olruggio deeply regretted sleeping on the floor. His entire body was stiff despite all the stretches he tried to do.

“You look significantly better than yesterday already. I can tell you slept well.” Qifrey said when he noticed Olruggio’s gaze lingering on the mirror Dhyina had installed on the door of his part of the atelier.

“Oddly enough, I did sleep well.”

“I do worry for your health though, Olly.”

“I know you do. But there’s no need, I can assure you. My knee will appreciate this climate and the bed will certainly suit me better than the hammock. I’m not that old yet !” Olruggio chuckled while taking off the mirror from the main door of the room. Dhyina must have forgotten it, thinking it was already there when she arrived. Nevertheless, Olruggio wouldn’t stand his own reflection every day.

“We’re not twenty anymore though. Did you eat and sleep correctly while you were away ?” A quick look at the fire witch was enough to tell that the answer was ‘no’, and Qifrey had given him more than a quick look. He asked anyway, unboxing a tiny wooden box. The seal was now broken, so two gigantic persian carpets retrieved their initial size. Qifrey vaguely remembered where they were and started arranging them on the floor.

“You’re one to talk…And yes, when I had enough time between orders. .” Which was almost never. Qifrey frowned and promised himself to take good care of him.

“You didn’t stop working ?”

“Of course not. I had a few less orders since I didn’t travel as much as usual but…Why are you so surprised ?”

“Well, considering the amount of letters we received here, I figured you had just paused your business.”

“I warned all of my regular clients that my address was changing for some time.”

“Well you have a lot of irregular clients then.”

“Goodness, where did you put them ? The letters, I mean.” Qifrey instantly regretted telling him.

“In a cupboard in the basement, next to the telescribber.” Qifrey admitted reluctantly.

“Show me.”

They left Olruggio’s room and went downstairs without even meeting the girls on their way. They must be too busy reading the book Qifrey told them to read for tomorrow’s class (or so he convinced himself). Once they arrived in the cold basement of the atelier, Qifrey forced himself to open the cupboard with the letters. He knew how Olruggio was going to react and he didn’t want that. As soon as the cupboard was open, Olruggio took an enormous pile of paper in his arm. He tried to count every page but stopped eventually. As he started reading, Qifrey almost saw him age ten years in a few seconds. Some of his hair must have turned grey.

“There are dozens of them…Did you answer ?”

“I only wrote an automatic message saying that you weren’t available at the moment and that their demand shall be met when you come back.”

“How presumptuous of you to assume I was gonna return…” Olruggio said with a sly grin.

“I prefer to say optimistic. And I was right wasn’t I?” Qifrey frowned as he noticed Olruggio’s face crumpling more and more as he flipped the pages. His grin had completely vanished. “Can’t you just decline some of them ?” Olruggio looked at him as if he had insulted his entire bloodline.

“I would never ! These people need my service and it is an honour to be chosen by them. I couldn’t possibly turn anyone down.”

“Come on, it’s impossible to answer all of them !”

“I’ll start by reaching out, maybe some clients found someone else to do the job while I didn’t answer…I have to read them all first to check if there’s anything too urgent…” Olruggio started talking alone, taking the pile of paper with him upstairs. Qifrey followed him back to his atelier. The contraption maker dropped the pile on his desk and started going through it without even taking a seat. Qifrey figured the best thing he could do to help was keep unpacking Olruggio’s stuff. When he heard Olruggio mumble something along the lines of “Fucking tiles again, how many colours did I already make for his fucking floor…”, Qifrey chuckled. Reminded of his presence, Olruggio turned around and his gaze softened. “You don’t have to do this, I’ll unpack everything eventually.”

“I just want to be useful.”

“Well, you helped me a lot already, don’t worry about me.” Qifrey nodded, briefly shifting his weight on his toes from embarrassment. Too focused on his work, Olruggio didn’t notice. However, he realised that he sounded quite dismissive. He tried to soften his words. “I’m not throwing you out, it’s just a bit uncomfortable to have an audience when I’m working, and as you can see, I have a lot on my plate right now-”

“You’ve always let me watch you draw.” Qifrey was looking away and scratching his nape, with on his face a nonchalant expression Olruggio knew was fake. He opened his mouth but struggled to find the right words. The thought that Qifrey simply wanted to be with him crossed his mind but he quickly rejected it. What was this ?

“That is true, but you were usually drawing with me back then. Being stared at will make my hands shake. Also, we’ve been together all day and I’m sure the girls would appreciate your company. They are suspiciously silent.” Qifrey nodded again before turning around and walking away towards the door. Feeling rude again, Olruggio stopped him before he crossed the threshold.

“Would you agree to help me cut my hair tonight ? I should be done with my first order before dinner, so we can do it after.”

Qifrey accepted, the spark in his eye almost returned. Once he was back on his side of the atelier, he felt utterly ridiculous. He shouldn’t be so anxious to leave Olruggio’s side, he was only a corridor away.

****************************

Qifrey lifted Olruggio’s head with his forefinger. Olruggio was scared to be blushing violently. Whatever this was had nothing to do with their previous experiences. This somehow felt like an innermost moment. Qifrey used his other hand to replace his glasses on his nose. He wanted to see him better. Olruggio frowned, although still unable to take his eyes off of Qifrey’s while his gaze was busy somewhere else.

“Be careful. Wouldn’t want to stab your good eye.” Indeed, Qifrey had pushed his glasses with the hand holding the scissors.

“I don’t wanna mess it up” Qifrey replied, uncertain about his eye being that ‘good’.

Olruggio’s hair was just so long. He had never seen him like that. Because of their work, ‘tonight’ became ‘tomorrow’, and soon, ‘tomorrow’ became ‘maybe next week’. Even if Olruggio made it a point of honour to cook and dine every evening with Qifrey and the students, he still spent most of his time locked in his tower, catching up with an impossible amount of work. He returned almost a month ago and they only found time to do this now. A month that Qifrey spent with his stomach twisted into a knot, terrified at the idea of their relationship never quite coming back to normal. Was this Olruggio’s way of avoiding him ? Qifrey was anxious to note that Olruggio's skin was becoming almost sickly white from not seeing the sun. He was so worried after he noticed that Olruggio basically shed and was not putting weight nor was sleeping better. The only improvement was to his knee. At least, his slight limp had vanished and he wasn’t making any pained wince while climbing the stairs anymore. Qifrey still felt awfully helpless. His words were never enough, and he couldn’t exactly watch over his friend day and night to fix his sleep schedule by force. However, today Olruggio woke up early and even had breakfast with them. After chugging a large bowl of black coffee, he solemnly announced that he was done with his work for at least a week and that his activities were returning to normal. Qifrey scolded him for doing so much work in such a short amount of time at the expense of his health, but Olruggio didn’t answer. The sparkle in his eye revealed a hint of pride and relief too blatant to be repressed.

“So you really are free for an entire week ?” Qifrey asked, taking a step back to make sure both sides of his friend’s hair were symmetrical. The hairstyle is really not complicated but he wants to make it look nice anyway.

“Well yes, except for tonight. I have to attend Lady Ventur’s ball. After that, my next commission is not due until three weeks from now, so I still have plenty of time.”

“Good.” Qifrey said, nodding. He replaced his scissors with a comb and started styling Olruggio’s hair. He made a satisfied “hm” before taking a hand mirror to show him the results. “What do you think ?”

“I feel lighter alrea-” Olruggio’s eyes went wide when he saw his reflection. He stammered for a second, his hair falling in soft, curtain bangs that brushed just above his brows, the kind of cut that looked casual, almost accidental. It was longer than his usual bowl cut.

“You don’t like-” They both anxiously started at the same time. Qifrey coughed to hide his embarrassment before talking again. “If you don’t like it, I can still cut it as usual. Nothing is permanent, I let it slightly longer on purpose.”

“Was there anything you didn’t like about my previous hairstyle ?”

“Of course not ! You’ve always been attractive.” Olruggio frowned and pouted, his eyes conveying all of his skepticism. That didn’t stop Qifrey. “But I just thought that such an opportunity wouldn’t reappear any time soon. If I had asked beforehand you would have immediately said no. I’m starting to know you. Now, deliver me from this anxious expectation. Do you like it or not ?”

“Well…I do look a bit younger. I think I like it. Do you ?”

Qifrey rolled his eye. “That’s not the question.”

“Yes it is. You look at me more than I look at myself.”

“You make it sound like I stare!”

“Just tell me what you think!”

“You look good like that.”

“Thank you. You’re forcing me to worm it out of you.” At this point, they were both blushing. Olruggio stood up and put the mirror on the wall before digging up a blade from the bathroom drawer, as well as a brush and some shaving foam. From the corner of his vision, he noticed that Qifrey was sweeping his hair from the floor. Little did he know that it was just the perfect excuse for Qifrey to not look at him and hide the colour of his face. Qifrey almost suggested doing his beard for him, but after one more second of consideration, he realised that having almost no facial hair himself, he wasn’t exactly a professional in the matter. “After that, I would never let you get close to my beard.” suddenly said Olruggio, like reading his thoughts.

“What do you mean ‘after that’ ? I thought you liked your hair!” Qifrey’s expression was scandalised.

“I think I do. But go away and take the scissors with you in case I change my mind. The girls have been too silent; they’re certainly up to no good, you should check on them. I’ll clean the floor myself, thank you Qifrey.”

Qifrey chuckled and obeyed, leaving behind him a smiling Olruggio, with his face already half covered in white foam.

****************************

Olruggio opened the door as quietly as physically possible. He took off his shoes as he crossed the threshold of the atelier, only touching the tiling with his bare feet to make as little noise as possible. The cold sensation revived him. He unclipped his heavy cape and put it on the coat rack.

“You’re coming back later than usual. Did you enjoy yourself ?”

Olruggio sighed and his shoulders relaxed.

“I thought you were in your room. I barely dared to close the door to avoid making the wall shake.”

“How very thoughtful of you.”

“Yes, sorry it’s almost midnight already. I escaped as soon as I could.”

“‘Escaped’ ? Was it so terrible ?”

“No…The wine was good and it was nice to chat with my clients. But Lady Ventur did force my hand into dancing with her, which I didn’t like. And I prefer spending my evenings here anyway.” Olruggio took off his cosmetic mask, revealing his tired gaze and his goatee that was somehow considered unkept by the spell. Qifrey preferred Olruggio without the mask. The smooth chin made his friend look like a teenager. “I came here to grab something to eat, do you want anything?” Olruggio stepped through the corridor and entered the kitchen before Qifrey could say anything. He stopped abruptly as soon as he passed the door and frowned.

“Is that tomorrow’s lunch ?” He turned to face Qifrey, untying the laces of his sleeves distractedly. Qifrey coughed, embarrassed.

“Well, I made it for us. I thought we could celebrate your holiday week but I understand if you’re not hungry at such an hour. Since you usually don’t eat there, I thought we could share a dinner tonight.”

Olruggio’s gaze softened and he felt guilt and affection fight in his chest, both feelings swelling his heart. “Oh, Qifrey. I’m terribly sorry for coming back so late. You shouldn’t have waited for me, you must be starving !” He put his hand on his friend’s arm and felt him shiver at the touch. “You don’t have to do so much for me. I would love to eat with you. Oven dishes always taste better reheated anyway. Are you still hungry ?”

“I am. Aren’t you too tired ?” Olruggio looked at him with a grin and shook his head, almost softened by such naivety.

“I’m a night owl, I’ll be fine.”

****************************

“This is your last drink, Olly.” Qifrey said while pouring a sophisticated willow grape wine in Olruggio’s loop chalice.

“Come on, it’s only the third one ! I am barely tipsy.”

“We both know you’re a lightweight. And you already had a glass earlier at Lady Ventur’s.”

“How dare you !”

Qifrey smiled almost mischievously and poured himself a drink too. Olruggio’s cheeks were already pink.

“Ya know what ? I’m glad you waited for me because the pie was delicious and I’m having a wonderful time.”

“Yes, me too. We should have done this earlier.”

Olruggio looked at his wine swirling in his chalice. He looked almost shameful.

“I apologise for making myself quite unavailable since my return.”

“You had a lot of work to do, so I waited.”

“I must have been a disappointment.”

Qifrey’s mouth fell slightly open. Olruggio was staring into his drink, looking awfully guilty. His friend didn’t know if this glint of melancholy was provoked by the alcohol or only revealed by it. Qifrey took a second to figure out what to say.

“Olly, look at me.” He patiently waited for Olruggio to obey. “I think you do not realise how proud I am of your career. You’re successful and you work hard for it. You might be the most talented contraption maker in the Peninsula.” Once again, Olruggio broke eye contact. Qifrey kept going. “So don’t ever apologise for that.”

“You’ve got your lying face. You’re disappointed.”

“Wha- I’m not lying !”

Olruggio shrugged. “It's kind of you to make me feel better.”

Qifrey didn’t know what to say, so he finished his glass and put the loop of his empty chalice on the table. He looked at Olruggio during a brief moment, thinking of running his hand through his black hair. They had to be soft, they looked soft. He didn’t take the plunge. However, he joined Olruggio and sat beside him on the carpet, back against the seat of the sofa. Their shoulders touched. Qifrey slightly shivered but kept staring at the hearth in front of them.

“I haven’t always been kind to you. I’ll try to be better, I promise. Will you let me ?”

Olruggio frowned a bit and turned his head towards his friend.

“What do you mean?” Qifrey stubbornly kept looking at the fire.

“I’ve been a bad friend. I won’t let it happen again. But I can’t prove to you that I want to change if you won’t let me near you.”

Finally, Qifrey turned his head to see Olruggio’s expression. He wore a half smug, half sad downward smile. “I was right, it did bummed you that I spent a lot of time working.” Qifrey’s ears turned red.

“I mean- yeah I suppose I wanted to see more of you after all that time but it doesn’t- I guess…Just promise me you won’t leave. Never again…” Qifrey was now grabbing his friend’s sleeve, almost helplessly. He was pleading with his gaze. That shook something in Olruggio. For the first time, he was grasping the impact of his departure on his friend. He opened his mouth to answer but Qifrey didn’t stop long enough. “And when you’re there, I can’t stand you avoiding me. I missed you too much while you were away. I missed your smell, your cooking, your warmth, your footsteps around the house…”

With eyes like saucers, Olruggio chuckled. “Are you drunk?”

“Barely tipsy. I’ll feel embarrassed in the morning, it’ll be tomorrow’s problem. But right now, I need you to promise. I’m serious.”

Olruggio nodded, suddenly very serious too. He turned around to grab his hat and unclipped the ribbon. He took Qifrey’s hand in his and tied them both with the black ribbon.

“This is yours, if you accept it. I’m not going anywhere. I promise that I’ll stay by your side for as long as you allow me to.” Olruggio held his hand a bit tighter, their fingers intertwined, and Qifrey felt his eye sting terribly. It wasn’t a headache this time, it was tears threatening to fall. Tears of joy, of excitement, of an outpouring of emotion. He knew very well that he loved this man but it was still a surprise to be able to love him even more.

“I left my hat in the kitchen but you can have my tassel back too. Only if you want it.” The tear left his eye as he chuckled, feeling a bit like an idiot, unable to reciprocate the sweet gesture.

“I do want it. What can I do to make you believe me ?”

“Sorry, I’m just…I hated living without you and I’m absurdly scared-” Qifrey’s breath was taken away by Olruggio’s warm hand on his cheek, cupping one side of his face. He looked straight at him, searching for a hint of approval as he dried Qifrey's tear with his thumb. He found confusion in his eye. Suddenly embarrassed and hesitant, he almost let go of him. Before he got the chance to really pull his hand back, Qifrey closed the distance between them. Their lips tasted like their favourite wine but this kiss was delicious for thousands of other reasons. It was shaky, passionate, also hesitant, freeing : perfect. It felt terribly right. Olruggio wondered why they had never done that before, so much wasted time. Qifrey kissed Olruggio so intensely, they eventually toppled and fell lying on the rug. When they split to breathe, Olruggio put a teasing finger of Qifrey’s nose, right at the brim of his glasses’ frame.

“I want to see you properly. Can I ?” Qifrey nodded, still a little breathless, and Olruggio took his glasses off with a shaky hand. For some reason it felt like an ever more intimate gesture than what they just did. He turned his head and stretched to put the glasses on the coffee table. He didn’t even get to enjoy the view, Qifrey started to kiss his neck. A small moan escaped Olruggio’s mouth when he thought he was only expiring. He turned bright red. Qifrey smiled, hidden in Olruggio’s neck.

“It’s a shame that in order for you to see me, I must lose my sight.”

“If you need your glasses, just ask. Although, you’re not missing much.”

Qifrey frowned. “What do you mean?” In fact, he knew what he meant. He didn’t like it and wanted confirmation.

“Well erm…I’m not exactly charming.”

“This cosmetic mask of yours messed with your head, Olly. I am very charmed.”

“You’re the only person I need to be charming for, anyway.”

“Stop saying things like that. You’re perfect.”

So Olruggio obeyed and kept quiet, still skeptical but willing to enjoy this moment. They had waited years to do this, to touch and feel each other, to trust to such an extent. And now they could. They belonged together. Because they loved each other.

I should've worshipped her sooner
[...]

The only heaven I'll be sent to
Is when I'm alone with you
I was born sick, but I love it
Command me to be well
[...]

Take me to church
I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies
I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife
Offer me that deathless death
Oh, good God, let me give you my life

Hozier-Take Me To Church