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Parrot wasn’t sure when it started, something just felt off. He couldn’t explain the feeling though, not even if he tried. It was like his brain telling him that something was wrong but then not saying what the problem was. He has been staring at this goddamn mirror for far too long that he thinks his reflection might actually jump out at him.
Now that he thinks about it, it has been like this since he was a kid. The feeling like he was born into the wrong body, like he was meant to be someone else. He always opted for the option of ignoring it, even if it’s slowly gnawing him alive. After all, there is simply nothing he could possibly do about it, and it’s not like he could tell others and expect them to understand.
Okay, move away from the mirror and do something else. A distraction, literally anything else will be great for him right now.
He gets up from where he was and walks to his desk, immediately sighing upon seeing the large amounts of homework he had to do. He’d procrastinate but chances are he’ll end up going into another spiral again. Parrot picks up his pen and gets himself started.
Surprisingly, doing homework actually helped him, maybe it was because he was thinking of how to solve a math problem rather than how he can’t look at his own body for more than 10 seconds without internally cringing.
Okay, stop. Just don’t think about it. It’s probably nothing anyway.
It wasn’t long until he finished his work, quicker than he expected actually. There wasn’t really anything else for him to do, he sure as hell wasn’t going to study, he didn’t feel like it nor did he have the energy to. Whatever, why not go on his phone and check his text messages, it has been buzzing for a bit now. He sometimes has a tendency to ignore notifications and not read messages for hours causing some of his friends to get annoyed at him. He really needs to get rid of that habit doesn’t he?
He couldn’t help but smile upon seeing it was a message from his group chat with Derapchu and Wifies.
derap + smart ppl !!!
derap: u two r good at math
derap: can u send answers to the hw plss
wifies: do it yourself
derap: @parrot
derap: my dearly beloved pretty bird
derap: would u be kind and send me the answers to the math hw!!!
parrot: lmao
parrot: nah
derap: so mean :(
derap: if i beg really nicely would u change ur mind
wifies: the hw is not that hard
wifies: you’ll be fine
derap: thats bc ur a nerd
—
He contemplated whether he should take a photo of the work he had just done but ultimately decided against it. He wasn’t about to give Derap free answers when he had to spend time calculating them. No way.
He glanced at the clock and realised it was only 9pm, way too early for him to go to bed. Perhaps, he should do a bit of scrolling before he goes to sleep.
That’s how he ended up here, looking at skirts and dresses on some random clothing website. Wait actually, no, he doesn’t know how he ended up here. He just saw a cute ruffled skirt and went down some rabbit hole, it was like something had possessed him. He couldn’t put the feeling into words, he just felt weirdly drawn to those types of clothing.
He wouldn’t say it was a new thing for him though. He remembers when he was young, he’d often wander off to the feminine section whenever he went shopping with his mom. His eyes sparkling as he saw all the pretty dresses, part of him wanted to ask his mom if she could buy him one but he felt too awkward to do so.
He also recalled this one time where he took some of his mom’s makeup to try on, however, he looked like a clown afterwards due to the fact he didn’t know what he was doing. When his mother found out, she was barely able to contain her laughter as she wiped the makeup off him.
He gazed at the clock again, it was now 11pm. Two hours had passed and he didn’t even notice. He thought about buying one with his pocket money but ended up changing his mind. If this package arrived, he wasn’t sure how he could explain himself to his mom. Maybe, he should actually go to bed now considering he had school the next day.
He should just forget about it.
—
Parrot breathed a sigh of relief when he was finally able to walk out of that English class. That lesson always felt like it’d last for an eternity with how utterly boring the teacher was. He usually tries his best to pay attention in class but just trying to stay awake takes up all his energy. If it wasn’t for Spoke’s and Mapicc’s dumb antics bringing him some sense of entertainment, Parrot’s convinced that he’d fall asleep on the spot.
Spoke and Mapicc waved him goodbye then proceeded to sprint to the cafeteria. Honestly, the food could not be this good for them to be running like that. Not that Parrot would know anyway, he always brought his own lunch instead of touching whatever the hell they were serving there.
Parrot went outside to his favourite picnic bench under the tree, his usual spot. The sky was blue and clear and the sun shone nicely on him. He sets his lunch box on the table and uncovers the lid.
He hoped that one of his friends would find him and join him. Being alone would only mean he stuck with his thoughts that he rather not have to deal with. Especially not at school, definitely not.
“Parrot! What food did you bring today?” Parrot suddenly heard a voice behind him, it nearly made him jump out his seat.
He turned around and saw four of his friends, Wifies, Derapchu, Rekrap and Jumper. Oh thank god he’s not by himself. Wifies immediately moved to sit down next to him and Derap sat on Parrot’s other side. Rek and Jumper chose to sit across from them.
Derap’s hand slowly reached for a sushi roll in Parrot’s lunch box, making sure he didn’t make a noise so the other wouldn’t notice. Wifies quickly caught on and glared at him with a grin.
“Hey Derap, why are you stealing Parrot’s lunch? You have your own.” Wifies accuses, his tone smug as he ruins Derapchu’s plans.
Derapchu shoots him an annoyed expression, he was about to open his mouth to say something but closed it at the last second.
Parrot turns his head to the lunch thief almost instantly and gives him a look. Then, he hands him one of the sushi rolls from the box.
“Bro, you could’ve just asked me for one.”
Derapchu takes the food and smiles brightly at him. “Thank you Parrot! This is why you're my favourite bird.”
His tone changes when he starts speaking to the guy who told on him “Also, you are such a snitch, you know that?”
Wifies only shrugged in return, he tried.
“Oh yeah, are any of you guys down to hangout at my house after school? We can even have a sleepover since it’s friday. I don’t think my parents would mind considering they’re not going to be home for a couple of days.” Jumper asked the group.
Parrot thought about it for a second before giving his response. “Sure, I’ll come. However, I probably won’t go right after. I want to go home and do some things first.”
“I’d love to but I think I might be busy.” Derapchu frowns, clearly disappointed.
“I can’t come either. I’m helping Ken and Wato with something after school.” Wifies replies.
Jumper gives them a knowing nod. “Oh it's okay! What about you Rekrap?”
“Yeah, I think I can make it.”
Jumper pulls out her phone and starts typing.
“Here, I just texted you my address.” She puts her phone in front of Parrot and shows it to him.
“Just come over after you’re done doing whatever it is that you need to do.” She adds.
—
Parrot double checked his location on his phone and looked around before knocking on the door. It would be quite embarrassing if he was at some random person’s house. He didn’t wait long until he got a response.
The door opened to Jumper smiling and ushering him in. Her house was nice, it feels cozy to say the least. They walked upstairs to Jumper’s room, they went inside to see Rek sitting on the floor. He looked up at the two and waved at them.
“Do you guys want snacks?” Jumper asks.
“Yeah, I want snacks!” Rek cheerily replies.
“I’ll be right back!” She left the room and went downstairs to the kitchen.
Jumper’s room seems to have a colour scheme of pink and white. Her bed, which was in the corner, had a pink bed frame and blankets, however, the pillows were white. Her desk was across from the side of her bed, it wasn’t big but it was enough to fit quite a few things, such as her laptop, stationary and her makeup bag.
Currently, they were sitting on a wool rug, the fur was soft under them. There is a low round table on the carpet as well. After a short while, Jumper came back with a plate of strawberry jam filled cookies. She set the plate on the table and sat down with them.
While Parrot was waiting, he found himself back on the clothing website he was on last night. He really was unsure how he ended up back there, he just had an urge.
“What are you looking at?” Rek asks, curiously.
Jumper peeked over Parrot’s shoulder. “Oh, that’s a pretty cute skirt.”
Parrot quickly scrambled to put his phone down on the table, he felt his cheeks burn up.
She giggled softly at his reaction.
“No need to be embarrassed about it, I didn’t realise you liked this type of clothing. I actually think it’d suit you.” Jumper paused for a moment. “Wait, I might have a skirt like this in my closet. Hold on, I’ll find it.”
Parrot panicked for a moment, he started tugging at his hoodie sleeve. “No, no it’s fine! I just… I don’t know. It’s hard to explain.”
“Parrot?” Rek was starting to get worried.
Jumper’s expression turned into something softer. “Hey, it’s okay. We won’t judge.”
Rek nodded in agreement. He had put his hand on his friend’s shoulder to reassure him.
Parrot took a deep breath, as he tried to find the right words to use. He hesitated before he decided to speak.
“It’s not exactly a new thing.. I’ve always felt drawn to feminine clothing, even as a kid. It just feels right to me. Sometimes.. I think I was born in the wrong body, I can’t be in front of a mirror for too long without wanting to cry.” His grip on his sleeve tightened. “Sorry, this sounds really stupid doesn’t it?”
“Hey, it’s not stupid if it’s bothering you this much.” Rek gently smiled.
“Yeah, he’s right. I don’t want to push any labels on you but do you think you might be trans? Like, do you think you’d be more comfortable as a girl?”
Parrot went silent, seemingly deep in thought. This wasn’t something that had crossed his mind before, but it seemed plausible. The idea that he’s a girl made sense, for once, it felt like he had an answer as to why he felt like this.
“You don’t have to immediately give me an answer. Just know that me and Rek would support you no matter what.”
Parrot seemed to relax a bit after what Jumper told him.
“I don’t know, I guess I never really thought about it. It feels right though, to call myself a girl. I’m a girl.” He admits. Wait no- she admits.
Jumper grinned at that.
“You are, I’m proud of you. Also, are you sticking with the name Parrot?”
Parrot shakes her head. “Yeah, I like my name.”
Jumper began to dig through her closet, seemingly looking for something. Parrot was confused at first but then, it clicked in her head.
Jumper pulled out a layered white dress with ruffles.
“You know, we should really go shopping for you.” She suggests.
Then, she goes through more of her clothes until she finds a sage green cardigan.
“I feel like this would suit you and I know green is your favourite colour. Also, Rek can you pass me my makeup bag? It’s on my desk.”
Rek takes a cotton candy pink bag and hands it to Jumper. She also takes a desk and places it on the table they were sitting around. She hands the cardigan and dress to Parrot.
“Wanna try it on? You can change in the bathroom.”
Parrot nods and takes the clothes. There was a bathroom near Jumper’s room, so she went into that one. There was a sense of nervousness in her, she had never really worn clothes like this before, and she wasn’t even sure if they’d fit her. After like 30 seconds of having an internal debate, she decides to just try it on.
She finishes buttoning up the cardigan, and looks at herself in the mirror. She doesn’t hate how the clothes look on her at all, in fact she likes it. She leaves the toilet and goes back to Jumper’s.
Her friends looked at her and smiled, Jumper motions for her to sit down.
“Want me to do your makeup?” Jumper asks as she opens the bag.
Parrot agrees to it, and Rek places a headband on her head to keep the bangs out of her face. Jumper starts by preparing Parrot’s face with a moisturiser and primer, then she dots drops of foundation over Parrot’s face before gently blending it with a beauty blender. She moves on to some concealer, then eyeshadow, eyeliner and finally, mascara.
Jumper nudges the mirror in front of Parrot, proud of her work. Parrot stared back at the reflection before her. There was something about this sight that made her feel euphoric. For once in her life, she felt like herself.
Yeah, this feels right.