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“He’s not so-”
“Yes he is, he’s perfectly fine.”
Natasha gave Pepper an odd look, before turning to see back into the nursery. “Okay, he’s fine. He’s also adorable.”
Pepper nodded. “That I’ll agree with.”
Natasha turned back to the room though, still looking concerned. “He’s just so… quiet now. Maybe we shouldn’t-”
Pepper shook her head firmly, “No, he agreed with this, in both little and big space. He’s just going through an adjustment period-”
“Says the woman who’s not leaking out of her chest at three in the morning.” It came out as a grumble, but Pepper heard the weakness of it. It was Natasha’s idea in the first place after she had heard about it.
Being an Avenger, and in an open relationship with Iron Man and the -occasional- Iron Maiden, made things hard. The three of them couldn’t just settle down like most couples -or triads- and have children. That just didn’t work.
That’s okay, because it turned out, Tony liked being the baby more than he wanted one.
That’s also okay, because Pepper and Natasha wanted him to be their baby more than they wanted one.
But still, sometimes it grated on Natasha’s mind. She knew it wasn’t something that made her bad. It had taken Clint himself years and years to convince her that, but Tony and Pepper had cemented it in her mind.
She didn’t need the ability to have children to make her a mother, and she didn’t need to give up saving lives to be one either.
Of course, it still niggled at her mind sometimes. What if she had wanted one of her own? What if she still did later on.
But Tony… he was hers . Hers and Peppers, and no one was going to take their little boy from them. He helped. He helped a hell of a lot more than Natasha had ever thought an adult wearing nappies and calling her ‘Mama’ would.
She looked back over at Pepper, and suddenly realized she was rubbing at one of her slightly sore breasts, and her ears turned a little red.
She wasn’t as embarrassed at it as she would have been if Steve or Bucky -oh god, Bucky , who had been her partner, back in the Red Room, Bucky, who had seen her at her worst, and now, her best and it made her heart swell up in pride, and want to hide in a closet, all at once- but she still felt odd at it.
The hormones, Tony and Bruce told her. Domperidone.
In the majority of people, it’s sides effects include stomach cramping, and gas issues.
In humans that is. Of course, Natasha wasn’t nearly as much of a super soldier as Bucky was, but she didn’t exactly think of herself as having human pain and hormone reactions by now.
No, no no, Natasha wasn’t cramping up, but she felt all… strange. Her breasts were sore, and she felt the constant urge to need at them. Of course, Tony helped. It was easier when he was in her lap, sleepily suckling. He kneeded at them like Bruce had said was normal for infants.
It didn’t feel weird, it… helped. It helped.
It helped, when she had those big brown eyes focused on her and no one else, but maybe Mommy if she was near by, as she tended to be, but looking up at them like they were his entire world, and sometimes, she believed it. That someone so damn callous, and loud and entirely angry at points, who could turn into the sweetest baby boy in the world, who just wants his mommies love and attention at all times, sometimes, she could believe that this perfect little boy could think of them as his world.
It made things worth it. It made the pain she felt better. Not the sore breasts, that wasn’t pain, that was sucky, but it wasn’t pain. Pain was remembering every action in her life that she regretted, remembering every single time in her life that she wished she could take back.
It made those times worth it, because those were the actions that lead her to now , and here .
Those were the actions that had lead her to her best friend, her wife, and their baby boy, the actions that had lead her to the life with the people that she cherished more than anything.
But still… “He’s so damn quiet. He’s never this quiet, Pep. He’s been so quiet for weeks now though.”
Pepper looked back into the nursery where Tony was sitting on a colourful rug. Clint had been by earlier that morning, and they had built half a city out of legos, but Tony was much more subdued right now, laying back on the rug while he played with a stuffed teddy bear. He was giving a few languid, tired sucks on his paci.
“You want to know what I think?”
Natasha looked over at Pepper with a raised eyebrow. “What’s that?”
Pepper shrugged. “I think he’s littler. I think this is helping him more than years of me and Rhodey trying to encourage a younger headspace with toys and diapers. I think that he’s been littler in these past few weeks than I’ve ever seen him, no matter how much he’s been telling me for years now that he’s wanted to be littler. I think…” She swallowed thickly, cheeks turning pink.” I think I’m a little jealous of the closeness that the two of you have developed over these weeks, but I knew fully well, there would be some jealousy in being in a polyamorous relationship, so I can’t bring myself to actually be upset about it. And, last of all, I… I think this is good. And I think I love you two so damn much, that sometimes it aches in my chest to think of it.”
Pepper looked back at Natasha, and her cheeks pinkened further at the wetness in Natasha’s eyes. Natasha looked for a few seconds like she might cry, before reaching up one hand to rub at them and try to dry them. “Fucking hormones.”
Pepper let out a wet laugh, and for a moment, it was damn near the best moment of Natasha’s life, till they heard a small voice coming from behind them. “Mama?”
They both looked over at Tony, who was sitting up on the floor, rubbing tiredly at one eye while he looked up at them. “Yes, malysh?”
Tony smiled and reached his free hand out towards her, “Mama, I’m hungry.”
Natasha smiled at that, and nodded. “Okay, malysh, on the bed, okay?”
Tony nodded, before pausing, looking at her suspicious. “Not nap time, Mama. Needa snack, but not nap time.”
Natasha nodded solemnly, but her and Pepper both knew that Tony would be out as soon as they were comfortable and he had something in his tummy. “Of course, but the bed is comfy.”
Tony nodded, and let them arrange him in their laps on the bed in the nursery. He slept with them at night, but naps were best done in here. He had his legs across Pepper’s lap, and was nestled into Natasha’s chest. One of the things that Pepper had absolutely loved about the induced breastmilk, was how amazing they were since, really, Tony and Pepper have an entirely new appreciation of breasts now days.
Natasha let out a near moan when Tony latched onto her right nipple. She’d never had much sensitivity in them, but the sudden rush of milk coming from them after a few seconds was enough to make her want to beg him to get the rest out. It wasn’t sexual, but it’s like going from a full bladder to empty, it just felt good , and the breast pump never felt nearly as good as Tony’s mouth.
Natasha looked back down at him when she got over the slight headrush, and couldn’t hold back what she thought of as a stupidly emotional smile, but Tony was just looking up at her with those big brown eyes again… like she and Pepper were his whole world.
She didn’t regret this at all.