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They'd been talking and watching a random horror movie Dean had suggested they should watch. But out of nowhere he was struck by a wave of sadness, his chest constricted his breathing while he rubbed the tears forming in his eyes excusing himself towards the bathroom. He walked casually making his way to the bathroom then hurried his steps once he was out of Dean's view.
After agonizing seconds he opened the faucet and he placed his hands underneath the cold water, and splashing some on his face attempting to regain control of his emotions. His hands were shaking and he was unable to understand why.. Except he knew why.
He hadn't known what it was.. This empty feeling that had him prisoner of his own dark thoughts, until one day he'd remembered one of his friends mentioning it. Depression. He wasn't sure if he'd fit in whatever way they could tell you have depression or not, all he knew was that this was a kind of sadness that came to stay and he didn't want to tell anyone in case no one believed him.
And before he could fight them, tears were rolling down his cheeks, getting stuck on his beard as they slid down. He backed to the wall then sat on the floor and allowed himself to hide his face in his hands, soft sobs escaping his throat against his will. He couldn't understand how miserable he felt, how come he's feeling this bad right when everything seems to going great for him? He just couldn't understand. All he wanted to do was stop this, stop feeling lonely and useless over anything, unwanted when his friends went out without him and just commented: "you should've been there!" Along with how good it'd been. He had thought of hurting himself, just a little, to help him cope, but that'd just be too much and everyone would see the pain on his skin.
"Seth?" A voice took him back to reality. "Is everything alright?" He asked.
And that's when he realized the mess he'd become, his shirt was soaked, his eyes were probably bloodshot red and his sobs and whimpers had gone up in volume.
"Shit!" He uttered under his breath. Rising to his feet, fixing his clothes and splashing more water on his tear-stained face.
He coughed a couple of times to make sure his voice wouldn't break when he spoke.
"I'm fine, don't worry. I.." He paused as he thought of a good excuse to his break down and sadly, found none. "I'll be out in a minute, okay?" He spoke again, his voice slightly breaking on the last word.
After a couple of minutes he was back out, and was taken aback by Dean, who seemed like he was waiting for Seth to come out of the bathroom this whole time.
"You do know you can talk to me, right?" Dean said in a low, softened tone.
Seth gave a slight nod, trying to shrug it off but Dean wasn't willing to let it slide, he was genuinely worried about his friend, what if something really bad had happened?
"I'm here for you." He tried again, taking a couple of steps forward.
Seth bit the inside of his cheek, thoughtful. And he just didn't expect for Dean to be hugging him like he was right now, clinging to him like he was to leave him if he let go.
Seth couldn't help but cling back onto him, his grip bruising around Dean's waist and shoulder while he allowed tears to roll down freely down his face.
"I'm tired, Dean." He spoke between breathy whimpers.
"I'm sick of feeling like this. I'm miserable." Seth muttered against his shoulder.
Dean rocked them both slightly while he stroked his back in soft motions while he whispered 'i got you's and 'let it go's.
When he felt Seth calming down on his arms he moved a couple of inches to try to check up on him.
"Feeling better I hope?" He inquired, worried laced in every word. Seth gave a faint nod.
Dean motioned him to sit on his couch while he got him a glass of water. Seth looked a little lost in his thoughts when Dean came back, he thanked him and took several sips until he felt better.
"What happened, Seth?" He asked, sitting on the coffee table and right in front of Seth.
"It's n-" Seth's words were cut off by Dean's slight warning.
"And don't tell me it's nothing because you've been acting weird lately and this is the second time I've seen you breakdown like that."
Seth's gaze dropped to the ground, unable to form a coherent explanation of his feelings to his friend.
"I don't know.." He uttered after long seconds passed by. "I think.." He paused and inhaled deeply. "I think I'm depressed." He confessed, mentally kicking himself for feeling so weak and vulnerable.
Dean made a sound which Seth was unable to identify, and later a hand was laid on his shoulder, he looked up at Dean and found his face a lot closer than it was.
"I'd guessed that. You should've told me earlier, I want to help you." His gaze turning soft and caring while he spoke in a ushered tone, loving. Seth swears he could've never guessed Dean had this side on him.
"I'm not weak." Seth tried to defend himself, but his voice was barely over a whisper.
"I know you're not." Dean assured him, "but this is one fight you can't fight on your own, golden boy."
"I'll take care of you. Even if you don't want me to. Just call me whenever you need me and I'll be at your hotel room before you hang up." Dean promised him, moving his free hand and holding Seth's hand in his, giving it a slight squeeze.
Seth's eyes met with his baby blue ones and all the gentleness he was seeing in them was melting him, warming his cold soul back.
"Thanks." He said, squeezing his hand and actually pulling on it to bring Dean closer for a hug.
Dean was gleefully led forward and wrapped his arms tightly around Seth, and they both let out a freeing breath.
"I don't want to fucking lose you." Dean mumbled, so barely audible that Seth wasn't sure his friend had actually spoke.
"I'm here." He said, bringing Dean even closer.
"Don't keep serious shit like that, asshole." Dean groaned, a serious look on his face.
"I won't." Seth promised, smiling at his friend.