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Sirius smoothed his hands down his front as he surveyed his reflection. As usual, he looked fantastic. His good genes never allowed for anything as mundane as a bad hair day and his figure was kept in good condition. The smart dress shirt he wore revealed his toned form but not in an overly revealing way. He wanted to convey a sense of self-confidence in both appearance and skill, but too much would tip the scales into arrogance; No matter how talented one was, nobody wanted to deal with a man who thought too highly of himself.
“How do I look?” The question was punctuated with a dazzling grin as he turned to look at his little family.
Immediately, James wolf-whistled, Effie cooed, and Fleamont cried, “Sensational!”
Pleased with the response, Sirius went back to checking his appearance. They still had at least twenty minutes before he was due to leave but Sirius planned to get there nice and early. Again, not too early, but he would not be simply on time.
“I was unsure about this tie but I think the blue suits my eyes.” Sirius straightened the deep navy tie he knotted with the precision on a person who grew up under the sharp eye of a cruel woman who was literally impossible to please.
“You look great,” James said once the fervour died down. “When are we going? I want to bring my angel his favourite chocolates as a treat.”
“You mean bribe,” Effie said with a grin.
“Please. Sirius has this in the bag even without my input.”
“Oh, certainly.” Her voice turned sly. “I am sure your personal relationship with his new boss has no influence on the man’s willingness to hire someone with such limited practical experience in the field.”
Sirius sniffed. “That hurts my feelings, Effie. And James, you are not driving me.”
“Why not?” James demanded unhappily although a demand from James always came across as more of a petulantly whiny question.
“I need my interviewer to be at his best. If you are there, he’ll be distracted.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. My sweetlove is the epitome of professionalism.”
Effie giggled. “Why do I sense that your ‘sweetlove’ despises those sappy names?”
“If he hates pet names then he needs to run while still can,” Monty said, grinning.
Sirius made an impatient noise. “Not before hiring me, please. I need the money.”
Collectively, the Potters laughed. Unfair. Just because he was rich did not mean he wanted to lounge about doing nothing but pining over his soulmate all day like James seemed content to do ever since meeting the elusive soulmate he rewrote his life for.
“I have to admit I’m jealous,” Monty said after a beat. “Sirius will get to meet this young man before us.”
“Why have we yet to meet the man whom you already professed your intent to marry?” Effie asked.
Sirius whirled around. “He did what?”
“Oh, it was adorable. I heard him cooing on the phone to his much shyer half. From what I could hear from the other end, he seems absolutely darling and completely smitten with James,” she revealed with a fond smile aimed towards her son.
James covered his face in mortification. “Mama, why were you listening to my private conversation?”
“You speak very loudly, cariño.”
Accepting defeat, James turned to Sirius. “Let me drive you.”
“No.”
“Please.”
If becoming this pathetic was an inevitability of meeting one’s soulmate, Sirius hoped he never met the prick who marked him with such miserable words.
After looking into James’ sad eyes, Sirius relented. “If I let you drop me off, you have to promise not to come inside. I meant it when I said I want your boyfriend to have his wits about him.”
Perking up, James nodded enthusiastically. “As you command, my liege!”
“Let’s get started on dinner. We need to have a bountiful spread to celebrate my little boy finally putting his degree to use,” Effie said, patting his cheek.
Sirius’ face warmed. “Thank you for your confidence, Effie.”
“Confidence is key!” Monty boomed. “You walk in that building and you keep your head up high.”
“And even if it does not work out how you hoped, at least you tried,” James said with a shrug. “It can’t go any worse than our last job.”
Sirius snorted to himself. “Thanks.”
“He will be fine. Besides, you both know you always have a position in my company,” Monty said proudly.
“You are retired,” Effie said.
“I still know people.”
Sirius smiled at his reflection. This lovely little family had done him a great service by letting him join them. Initially he felt like a parasite latching onto them at the fringes but the Potters were skilled in making him feel like he belonged.
Now, he just did.
Leaving James in the car was more troubling than he thought. Not because his best friend tried to come with him—although he did do that several times—but because Sirius found he wanted James by his side. There was a comfort there, an old habit of leaning on James and taking some of his natural light for his own.
But Sirius was an adult now, not an attention-starved teenager. He could do this alone.
So, with the sort of reckless confidence he manufactured from a young age out of necessity, he walked into the veterinary clinic where James had been spending most of his free time lately with his head held high.
The first part of the practice was a waiting room. A large, wide room with plenty of chairs and a stack of different pet crates and cages in one corner. One older woman sitting in a chair near the far window held a shivering little chihuahua in her lap. Across from them was a young couple and a small child, a heavy rottweiler dozing on the floor beneath the little girl’s feet. The only other ‘patient’ he saw was a man with salt and pepper hair, a carrier by his side with a curious rabbit sniffling at the bars.
Something loosened in his chest when he looked at the animals. At least this was familiar. He might have given up a career in veterinary medicine to follow James’ dream of finding his soulmate but he loved animals. He loved helping people. He loved seeing families made whole again.
Approaching the desk, Sirius saw a young woman with thick glasses and fast fingers typing something into the computer. The woman glanced up at him and smiled. “Hello and welcome to Canis Veterinary Clinic, my name is Amelia, how may I assist you today?”
“Hi, I’m here for an interview. I believe I’m supposed to be meeting someone called Dorcas?”
Amelia brightened. “James’ friend! Yes, he told us all about you.”
Sirius smiled. “I’m sure he has. Never knows when to stop talking.”
“Oh, absolutely but he’s very sweet. Always dropping in with flowers and chocolates and pastries for the boss. Or to take him out for lunch. Or just because.”
Sirius shook his head. Of course James had a reputation of being the sappiest hopeless romantic alive.
One of the consulation rooms opened. “Amelia, do you know if— Oh,” a woman with dark skin and long braids said as she came to a stop at the outer edge of the desk. “You must be James’ friend. Nice and early, good.”
Sirius nodded. “That’s me.”
“Good. I’m Dorcas, we spoke on the phone.” She surveyed him. “Hm, well, you certainly do not look like the sort of person who would willingly enter law enforcement.”
“I’m really not.”
“Let’s hope you have more passion for veterinary work, then.”
“I do,” Sirius said hurriedly. “I loved studying it, practicing it… If it weren’t for James I probably would have committed to the job full time.”
Dorcas waved for him to follow her to her treatment room. He caught a glimpse of Amelia shooting him a thumbs up as the door closed behind them. “Do you mind if I ask why you did it, then?”
Sirius knew what she meant. “James has done a lot for me. To tell you the truth, I sort of owe everything to him. He seemed miserable at the prospect of going into it alone and although I loved my work, I love James more.”
Dorcas’ gaze narrowed. “Forgive me if I’m overstepping but I also don’t care if I am, I hope you mean that in a purely platonic way.”
“Oh, definitely,” he spluttered. “James is nothing more than a friend. My best friend. I could never even think of him like that. It would be too weird.”
Dorcas nodded once. “Good.” She moved over to the door at the back of the room which led to the staff areas. “Come on. I’ve had an emergency surgery booked so I’m handing your interview over to someone else. He’s just as qualified as I am and if you get the job he’s the one you will be shadowing for the first few months.”
“Shadowing?”
“You need experience. This isn’t the sort of profession you can learn from a book. You have a surprising level of practical skills from volunteering and work placements while at university but for the past year you have done nothing but police work. We need to ease you back in.” Dorcas said as they navigated the halls, footsteps clicking along the tiled floor.
“I’m just grateful for the opportunity,” he said honestly.
Dorcas hummed as they came to a stop outside of a door. She knocked once before opening the door to a surprisingly large office, one with shelves upon shelves of books and a few framed photographs that had been turned over.
“Interviewee is here,” Dorcas said as they stepped inside.
The man behind the desk stood with a startled smile. “Oh, good. Look, Cas, are you sure—”
“Reg refused on the grounds that it was unethical to interview his soulmate’s friend, Evan is busy, Pandora is off sick…”
“What about—”
“Do you really trust him to interview anyone?”
“Fair enough,” the man said quietly. Sirius tried not to feel offended that the man seemingly did not wish to interview him. He certainly wouldn’t want to be stuck behind a desk looking at job applications all day but surely a one off wasn’t too bad.
“Great. Sirius, this is Remus, he will be conducting the first part of your interview.” Dorcas smiled at the man as he moved to shake Sirius’ hand. “Remus, this is Sirius Block.”
“Black,” he corrected her, letting go of Remus’ pleasantly warm and strong hand.
Dorcas froze. “Sorry?”
“Er, it’s Sirius Black. Strange name, I know.”
Her eyes went wide, jaw lowering as a startled gasp escaped her. “Oh, shit.”
Uncertain, he tried for an awkward laugh. Remus was still standing behind the desk and appeared just as stunned as Dorcas as he stared at Sirius in horror.
“How is this possible?” Dorcas murmured more to herself than anything. “I saw all of your certificates myself.”
“The font they chose is terrible,” Sirius said. “Block, Black, close enough.” A familiar feeling of concern burrowed in his chest. Only one thing would gather such a reaction. “Do you know my family?”
“As in…” Dorcas visibly swallowed. “The Noble and—”
“Most Ancient House of Black,” he finished sourly. “Yeah.”
Remus looked at him in complete disbelief before saying the words Sirius both eagerly anticipated and dreaded in equal measure.
“Oh, no, why did it have to be you?”
Hot shame and indignation burned as it cut through his chest. A flaming heat crept from his sternum, up the length of his neck to settle in his cheeks turning them blotchy and ruddy as he stared at the horribly handsome man across the desk.
In a flash of movement, Sirius picked up the plastic keyboard from the desk and cracked Remus over the head with it. Keys spilled from the broken casing as the keyboard was cleaved in half from the density of the man’s skull. Sirius resisted the urge to jab the prick with the chunk of sharp plastic still clutched in his hand, an urge which deepened when the man had the audacity to look shocked by his attack.
“What the fuck was that about?”
Sirius flung the piece of plastic at his face. Unfortunately, it was too meagre to do any damage but the man still flinched to avoid it anyway.
“You are the single worst soulmate I ever could have asked for!”
Remus’ eyes bulged.
Still standing off to the side, Dorcas gave another breathy gasp, both hands coming up to cover her mouth in shock. “Oh, fuck. Barty is going to love this.”
“You…” Remus trailed off numbly.
Sirius scowled at him. “You wretched bastard. Do you have any idea what it was like walking around with those words on my skin?”
Memories of his childhood came back with the force of a rubber mallet to the skull. All those times Mother taunted him with the words carved into his skin, the look on Father’s face when he saw them for the first time, the way his sweet baby sibling would sniffle and try to cover them with tiny hands covered in bloody bandages—how those small hands would write compliments on his arms in felt tip with a simple ‘I love you, Siri, always’.
A sob hitched in his chest as he finally looked into the eyes of the man who broke his heart before they ever even met.
“You are perfect,” Remus breathed.
“You have some nerve!” Sirius snapped. “What do you take me for? Some simpering little twit that will fall in your arms after one pathetically weak attempt at flattery?”
“Oh my god, they’re exactly the same,” Dorcas said.
“I suddenly feel really bad for my future health,” Remus said softly, once again insulting Sirius by smiling at him.
Sirius wanted to lunge across the desk and strangle him. Why did he seem so amused? Why was he not filled with rage just like Sirius? At the very least he could start blubbering apologies but no, instead he was just gazing at Sirius in mild awe, like a man finally seeing a sunset and realising it was beautiful but nothing special.
Story of Sirius’ life.
Beautiful but not as beautiful as his mother. Handsome but not as handsome as his father. Talented but not as talented as his cousins. Clever but not as clever as his sibling. Brilliant but not as brilliant as his sibling. Good but never good enough, not like his sibling.
“I'll leave you two alone,” Dorcas said in a rush before practically flying out of the room. The door shut behind her with a surprisingly gentle click.
Sirius gazed at Remus thoughtfully. For years, he learned to roll with the punches. Terrible words aside, this was his soulmate. The fates or the gods or whoever decided this man was it for him. His one. If James were to be believed, a soulmate was the single greatest thing on Earth. Effie and Monty felt the same.
Inhaling slowly, Sirius said, “Why were those your first words to me?”
“Sorry?”
“Oh, so you do know that word.”
Remus grimaced. “Sorry. Shit, I really am sorry. I can’t even imagine… I mean, when mine came in I was sure I’d been given the finger by the soulmate gods or whatever but when I showed my mam she said it seemed more like a response to whatever I said or did.” Remus ducked his head shyly. “I’ve always tried to mind my tongue, particularly around strangers. I was just…surprised.”
“Yes, you said.” Sirius waved towards the door. “Why were the two of you acting so weird? Please tell me she is not your ex or something. I don’t like to toot my own horn but I was definitely picking up a lesbian vibe from her and if I’m wrong I’ll be even more upset.”
Remus laughed. “Yeah, no, definitely not an ex.”
“Well?” For some reason, Remus continued to hesitate. “Fine, we will get back to that later.” Both a threat and a promise. “Am I getting this job or not because frankly I think it’s the least you could do.”
“Oh, definitely,” Remus said, nodding rapidly. “You were hired before you walked in that door. Our boss made it clear that unless you were a complete prat, the position was yours.”
Folding his arms, Sirius snorted. “Let me guess, it has something to do with my soppy git of a best friend?”
Remus grinned. “Yeah. You should see the two of them together.”
“I intend to. I need to know if this mystery man is good enough for James.”
“Harsh sentiment towards your new boss.”
“I’ve never been good at listening to authority.”
“You probably aren’t supposed to say that at a job interview.”
“Thought the job was mine.”
Remus shook his head with a smile. “I can tell you are going to be very interesting.”
“Professionally or personally?”
“Both.”
A smirk curled Sirius’ lips. “Considering you were too slow to stop me clocking you over the head, I think you might struggle to keep up with me.”
“Oh, I have no doubt about that, gorgeous, but I’m very good at making others slow down and listen.”
Sirius repressed a shudder. Maybe there was something to this soulmate business after all. “Might not work with me. I’ve been told I’m very disobedient.”
Remus only smirked as he gestured to the name badge pinned to his chest. “Don’t worry, I’m good at wrangling naughty pups.”
Heat flared in Sirius’ cheeks for a different reason than earlier. He tried to grasp some of his former rage and found the pieces crumbled in his hands.
Knocking on the door snapped Sirius from his musings. Seconds after the first knock, the door opened several inches and James stuck his head in. “Hello. I just received a very strange phone call from Dorcas insisting I come down here as soon as possible.”
Something like panic clouded Remus’ previously relaxed features. “Oh, fuck, right.”
James cast a glance at Sirius, surveying him for a second as he asked, “Where’s Reg?”
“How did you get here so fast?” Sirius said suspiciously.
Caught out, James sent him a guilty smile.
“You’ve been sitting outside the building this whole time, haven’t you?”
Still looking awkward, James nodded.
Sirius rolled his eyes but he could not deny the happiness bubbling in his chest. His best friend was here! “Guess what just happened?”
“You got the job?”
“Better.” Sirius pointed at Remus. “I got him!”
Back in school, people used to think James was stupid since he hated studying and wouldn’t have been caught dead with a textbook in his hand.
In reality, James was anything but stupid.
“Remus is your soulmate?” James said shrewdly. A frown carved its way through James’ usually genial expression. “Why would you say something so cruel to Sirius?”
Remus grimaced. “A misunderstanding, I swear. Everything will make sense in a bit but I think it’s best if the two of you leave before—”
“James?”
Remus’ vaguely panicked words had muffled the sharp snap of shoes against tiled flooring. From where James was standing in front of the doorway, Sirius could barely make out a small figure just behind his best friend. When James whirled around to look at the man, a breath was punched out of Sirius’ lungs.
“Baby!” James wrapped his arms around the ghost and squeezed firmly.
Not a ghost. Not a hallucination. James would not be able to interact with either.
With a ring binder held in one hand, they shoved James back. “Now really, this is incredibly unprofessional. Who let you in the building? I gave the others strict instructions to forbid you access no matter how much you begged or pouted—”
”I only beg for you, baby.”
Remus began flapping his hands wildly as he slotted into place in front of Sirius, blocking his view of the apparition. “Reg! Lovely to see you. Why don’t you take James to your office and have this discussion there?”
A pause. “Why are you being so weird?”
“What? I’m not being—”
“You are acting like you always do when you are hiding something. The last time you flapped around like this it was because you were hiding my birthday present behind your back.”
“What?” Remus dragged the vowel out. “I would never do such a thing.”
“You think just because you are tall that you take up as much space as James. I can see my new employee standing behind you. Move aside so I can assure him my best nurse has not gone insane.”
“I’m your best nurse?” Remus asked, awed.
“Unless you want to be out of the job, I suggest you step aside.”
Legs weak, Sirius shuffled to the side, steadying his nerves as he let himself be seen. This was clearly a misunderstanding on his part. There was no possible way for the person he thought he had seen to be standing right there in front of him.
And then…
A gasp.
“Siri?”
That voice.
More than the voice, it was the tone. The soft, uncertain whisper he heard more often than not back at Grimmauld because to be loud was to invoke punishment. Loud was all Sirius knew how to be. When the alternative was letting Mother’s sharp eyes stray towards that tiny, vulnerable little person clinging to Sirius’ side, loud was Sirius’ best defence while he was too small to fight her physically.
When he grew, that changed. So did everything else. Some for the better, some for the worst.
And this, well, this was the worst.
“You know each other?” James asked, mouth pouted in confusion as he tilted his head. A familiar yet new gesture on him. One he picked up from his soulmate who always cocked his head to the side like a twitchy bird listening for any approaching predators or a curious cat analysing their prey.
Context mattered. It used to be solely the former, then over time…
“How is this happening?” Sirius found himself muttering.
The person across from him—the person he still did not believe existed before him—stayed firmly in place. “James, is this the friend you were telling me about?”
“Of course! Love, this is Padfoot. Sirius, this is Regulus.”
Regulus.
“Heart of the lion,” he said quietly. Was the room spinning?
“Padfoot?” Regulus said with distaste.
“A joke from school,” James clarified. He looked between them uncertainly. “Er, have I missed something?”
Remus cleared his throat. “James, do you know Regulus’ full name?”
“Sure.”
Remus exhaled sharply. “Do you seriously think Black is a common surname among Korean immigrants?”
James frowned. And this was why people thought he was stupid. He really wasn’t, but sometimes he missed the most obvious signs to the detriment of himself and those around him.
Suddenly, James gasped. His eyes locked on Sirius, understanding passing between them. “Your little…brother?”
The urge to crumble to the ground and scream was strong but Sirius kept his eyes forward.
Physical similarities could be faked. With enough surgery and makeup, anyone could be made to look like someone they were not. There were differences. Carefully chosen. A sharper jaw, shorter hair. Although, the similarities were plentiful. And painful. Sloping cheekbones were no longer cushioned by baby fat, freckles still dusted across a small nose, a singular, darker mole sat underneath the outer corner of his left eye.
Eyes.
Those were the only part that one could not alter, not easily or safely. Not to this extent. The shape, the dark green hue of the iris—a peculiarity even in House Black—were exactly the same.
Worse, they still looked at him the same, with nothing but disdain and disappointment, because Sirius was never good enough, not even for the person he bled himself empty for.
“I suppose I should have known,” Regulus said with frightening calm, a trait he inherited from Mother at her worst and Father at his best.
Sirius scoffed. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“You know exactly what it means,” Regulus hissed. “You never could stand to let me have anything.”
“Excuse me?”
“You heard!”
“Woah, what is happening?” James raised his arms placatingly.
“What is happening, James, is you brought my disloyal brother to my practice and asked me to give him a job,” Regulus spat.
“Disloyal?” Sirius repeated sharply. Of everything Regulus could call him, somehow that felt like one of the cruellest insults. “You are going to call me disloyal? What’s that saying about the pots and kettles?”
Regulus folded his arms, tucking the ring binder against his chest like a plastic shield. “Always rewriting history.”
Sirius mirrored his posture. “Always acting like a stuck up little brat.”
“Always playing the victim.”
“Always—”
“Okay, okay, stop,” Remus said hurriedly. “Regulus, Sirius, I get that there is obviously…a lot of history between the two of you.”
In unison, Sirius and Regulus snorted then shot each other equally foul glares.
“Right, but, whether you like it or not, the two of you are going to be in each other’s lives. James and Regulus are soulmates, then there’s us.” He gestured between himself and Sirius, unknowingly making Sirius’ stomach twist with pleasant surprise. Remus…wanted him?
Sharp as ever, Regulus whipped his head around to pin Remus in place. “Are you suggesting the two of you are…”
“Soulmates, yeah.”
In a million lifetimes, Sirius could never have guessed what happened next.
After taking roughly three seconds to process that information, Regulus raised the folder in his hands and whacked Remus over the head with it. Rather than stopping there, he continued to beat at his shoulders and chest as Remus stumbled away in a panic. Pieces of dark green plastic fell with each smack yet Regulus did not relent.
“Regulus!” James gasped but did not intervene.
Remus held his long arms out, managing to halt Regulus’ assault. “What the fuck is wrong with you two? Why is your first instinct to beat me up?”
“Learned behaviour,” Regulus snapped, a look so wrathful on his face that Sirius almost took a step back.
“Why did you hit me? It’s not like you can choose your soulmate!”
Regulus slapped him with the flattened remains of the binder. “I know what his words were, you nasty, inconsiderate, insensitive—”
“Yes, I know, and I feel awful about it already.” Remus glanced at him with a sad smile. “But your brother has already beaten me up for it.”
Regulus’ shoulders shook as he panted. “Is that why my keyboard is broken?”
“He deserved it,” Sirius said uncharitably, once again folding his arms defensively when Regulus turned to him. “Kind of you to come to my defence.”
“I promised you I would,” Regulus said without thinking.
Being stabbed would have hurt less. Sirius remembered all those nights they would hide under his bed together, hoping beyond reason that Mother would be too drunk to bother them. After a particularly cruel morning, when Mother did nothing but insult him and laugh over the cruel words of his soulmate, Regulus swore to be there when the words were spoken. He swore he would give Sirius’ soulmate a lesson on tact.
Violence was a strange way to learn, but befitting of a Black.
“Of course, that was before you decided to abandon me in that mausoleum but I suppose it is not uncommon for there to be a level of disproportion in relationships.”
Sirius reeled back. “Abandon you— Are you sure I am the one rewriting history and not you? Because I distinctly remember you turned your back on me, not the other way around.”
“You left!”
“You refused to come with me!”
Regulus laughed cruelly. “You never asked, did you?”
“Of course I did! We used to talk about it all the time.”
“As children. As a fanciful idea of our future. We never said—” Regulus’ lips twisted. “And then you just left.”
“You saw me leaving! I was waiting for you to come with me and you walked away!”
“How was I supposed to come with you? You gave me no notice, no explanation. One moment I am laying in bed and the next I catch you dragging your suitcase towards the front door.”
“I left a note on your pillow that morning!”
“Liar.”
“I did!” Sirius snapped. “You were showering and I made sure to put it on your bed where you would see it. I put it right on top of your biology textbook.”
Regulus paused. “My biology textbook?”
“Yes. The one written by that McGonagall woman you idolised.”
A chill raked up Sirius’ spine at the look on Regulus’ face. An old instinct flared, one begging for blood and sweat and tears. His mind screamed at his body to move, to shift into his usual place in front of Regulus, arms spread to shield him.
But there was no threat, only them.
“Mother confiscated my textbook that day,” Regulus said breathily, pained understanding lacing every word. “I came out of the shower and she was in my room to take me shopping for new shoes. She said my textbook had been flagged by my tutor as being outdated and full of falsehoods. I never saw it again.”
Sirius blinked. “No…no, I made sure…”
But…
Mother had seen him that morning. Hovering between his and Regulus’ door. She asked what he was doing when he was supposed to be getting ready to accompany Father to a meeting with their accountant—a crucial part in being the heir of the family. Sirius had said something about wanting to see if Regulus was awake first but she had always been able to read him. She must have known something was up. He thought she had gone back downstairs when he told her Regulus was showering but if she had come back… He would not have heard her while he was in the bathroom having his own shower and planning his escape.
Because Sirius had just assumed. Always a step behind him, of course Regulus would be there when he made his escape. He never even thought to ask. To make sure. He just assumed.
“You thought I was leaving without you,” he said, feeling sick to his stomach.
Regulus’ lower lip wobbled. “You did.”
“Because you turned away! I thought— I thought that meant you didn’t want to come with me. I thought you were choosing them.”
“Why would I ever choose them over you if I had a viable alternative?”
“You…” Panic filled his lungs with something prickly and sharp. He could hardly breathe through the pain of it all. “You thought I left.”
“You thought I chose them.”
Sirius covered his face with both hands as his eyes began to burn. “You would have come?”
Regulus’ voice was raw. “Of course I would have. You were my brother.”
“Were?” he whispered, eyes stinging as they watered.
Regulus sniffled.
“Okay, so, this is good progress,” Remus said uncertainly.
In a flash, Regulus turned to smack him over the head again. “Shut up! Shut up, you awful man! Do you have any idea what your words did to him? What they did to us? You have no right to speak to him when you—”
“I have no idea what you’re saying but please stop hitting me.”
“You’re speaking Korean,” Sirius said in kind. “And I think you made your point.”
“I remember how many times you cried over the words on your arm. You used to try and claw them off. You thought it meant you were broken and unworthy—just as Mother said,” Regulus snapped.
Sirius was thankful for the fact that Regulus was still speaking Korean. The last thing he needed was for Remus to realise just how pathetic he had been.
“That was a long time ago,” Sirius said softly.
“Not long enough.”
“I’m touched,” Sirius said, trying for aloof.
Regulus glared. “You can pretend all you like but I know what those words meant to you.”
“What do you want me to do? Keep beating up my soulmate? I’m not Uncle Cygnus.”
“No, you are better,” Regulus said sharply. “You have always been better than those words.”
“He didn’t mean them like that.”
“I don’t care.”
“He’s your friend.”
“And you’re my brother.”
The thorns in Sirius’ chest vanished. “Am I still?”
“Of course you are.” Regulus hunched over slightly as he hugged himself. “Am…I?”
Sirius practically lunged at him. Gripping the tops of Regulus’ arms, he said in a firm, unyielding voice, “You are my brother, Regulus. My little brother.”
Regulus’ forehead creased. “Even though I’m…”
Resting their foreheads together, Sirius said, “Always.”
A soft sob tore through Regulus’ chest as he wrapped his arms around Sirius’ torso. Sirius secured him in his arms tucking Regulus’ head under his chin and squeezing him tightly.
“I thought you left me,” Regulus cried. “I thought you had finally grown tired of protecting me.”
“Never,” Sirius said fiercely. Even if he knew it was how he would meet his end, he would have stayed to shield his brother from anything. Everything. “I thought you wanted to stay. What sort of a life could I have given you? We would have been running from everything, never able to build a life. I figured you thought you were better off with them. Maybe you were.”
“Never say that to me again,” Regulus hissed. “Once you left everything just got worse.”
Fear threatened to choke him. “Worse?” he clarified in English.
“Nothing was ever good enough for Mother.”
“You were.”
“No, I was competition. With you gone, she had nothing but time to nitpick and insult me. Thankfully she grew tired of that after a while. She resorted to locking me in the cellar more.”
“Food?”
Regulus only gave him a pointed look.
Sirius squeezed his eyes shut. He always used to save food for Regulus since Mother allowed him larger portions. He was even allowed to ask for seconds.
A growing boy, Father would say. A real man needs an appropriate amount of fuel.
When he left, he took Regulus’ safety net with him. Regret unlike anything he had ever felt before gouged through his chest, filling his heart until it felt heavy enough to crush his lungs.
“Don’t do that,” Regulus said, tugging his sleeve.
“I should have stayed. I should have been there for you—”
“And then I never would have met Remus at university, or set up my clinic and met James while driving to work which led to you meeting your soulmate at my practice,” Regulus listed off sharply.
“Everything happens for a reason,” Remus said.
“Quiet, you, I’m contemplating firing you for this.”
“I haven’t done anything!”
“You have done enough.” Regulus sniffed. “Go and get me something to eat and perhaps I will not dock your pay.”
Remus only huffed. “Do I get to see my soulmate?”
“No, I am not finished with him.”
“His little star comes first,” James said knowingly. “He was a nightmare in school. I’d want to talk to him about something and he’d just hold a finger up while reading the latest letter from little Regulus. Then he would spend ages writing out a reply. Then he would wander off to send the letter right away—”
“We were hours from London and the postal service was slow!” Sirius defended. “If I didn’t send it off immediately it would take an extra day to get there.”
Regulus’ face was pained. “Little star?”
Sirius wanted to hug him again but he knew too much too soon would only overwhelm his brother. “Yeah. James knows all about you.”
“He never shut up about his perfect little angel of a brother,” James said grandly.
Regulus softened, then he caught sight of Remus. “Why are you still here?”
Remus threw his hands up. “You’re my best friend! Surely you know I wouldn’t hurt him on purpose.”
“Don’t let Barty hear you say that or he’ll carve out your liver.”
“But you must know—”
“Maybe you wouldn’t now that he’s your soulmate but you already—”
“Barty?” Sirius hissed. “Please, please, please tell me you do not mean Crouch.”
“You know Barty?” Remus asked.
Disgusted, Sirius curled his lip. “You still speak to that psychopath?”
James perked up. “Barty is the mean ex boyfriend I told you about. The one that keeps hammering nails in my tyres.”
“You have no proof that is him,” Regulus said plainly.
“I caught him on camera!”
“Photoshop.”
“I have a dozen videos—”
“Artificially generated.”
Sirius shook his head. “Barty fucking Crouch. A pain in my arse even ten years later.”
“Literally—he sat on one of the nails when I was taking them out,” James said for the benefit of the others.
“James!” Sirius shouted.
Remus laughed.
Regulus finally threw the folder at him. “I told you to get out, Lupin!”
“Fine, fine. I’ll go and get you those muffins you like.”
“Get something for James too. And Sirius.”
“Do I get to buy something for myself?”
“It’s your money, do whatever you want with it.”
“Oh, why, thank you.” Remus bowed sarcastically. “James likes chocolate chip because he’s boring but what do you like, gorgeous?”
Sirius’ face felt hot enough to steam. “I can take anything.”
“I’m sure.”
Blushing, Sirius said, “Just get me whatever you’re getting—so long as it doesn’t have strawberries.”
“This is a red fruit free zone,” James said proudly.
Remus sent him a knowing look and ruffled Regulus’ hair as he passed. “As you wish.”
When he was gone, Sirius looked at James. “Are you staying?”
“Do I have to go?” James whined. “This is brilliant. My best friend and my baby—brothers!”
“So gross,” Sirius said.
“Really gross.”
James frowned. “No, this is the best news ever! Seriously, Mama and Papa are already ecstatic.”
“How do you do that?” Regulus murmured when James showed them his phone screen. Sirius’ own phone was turned off for the interview. No doubt he would have lost a leg with all the vibrating from the group chat.
“I was texting them while you guys bickered about who loved who more.”
“We have not ever argued about that,” Regulus snapped.
“We don’t need to,” Sirius said.
“Obviously I love him more.” Their responses overlapped. Immediately, they turned to glare at each other.
“You left me behind. Reasoning aside, you chose to walk away. I never could have walked away from you.”
“Except, that’s exactly what you did,” Sirius reminded him.
“I went back to my room to cry myself to sleep! That is hardly walking away.”
“And I hobbled out of our house with broken ribs! Even if I hadn’t planned to escape, I never could have stayed there.”
“Even if it meant leaving me.”
“Not if I could help it!”
“Just admit it, I loved you more and you got sick of me—”
“We already went over this! I love you, Regulus. I took beatings and punishments for you! I lost teeth, spilled enough blood to fill a swimming pool, broke more bones than I have—”
“Please don’t talk about that so casually,” James said, appearing vaguely nauseous.
Regulus turned to him beseechingly. “James! Tell him I love him more.”
“Er…”
A dark glower clouded Regulus’ expression. “James.”
Hands raised defensively, James said, “Look, I’m just saying that from where I’m standing, Sirius has always done a lot for you. That doesn’t necessarily mean he loves you more but I’ve only really seen things from his perspective—”
“Ha!” Sirius said triumphantly. “Knew you would get it, Prongs.”
Regulus scowled. “You cannot be taking his side.”
“Baby, I never said—”
“So you hate me.”
James sighed. “Baby—”
“You think I’m incapable of love.”
“Regulus.”
“You think I’m ugly.”
“Reg—”
“You want me to die and you won’t even come to my funeral.”
“You wouldn’t even go to his funeral?” Sirius gasped. “How could you do that to him?”
James threw his hands up. “I never said any of that!”
“Well, you didn’t deny it.”
“See? He hates me,” Regulus said.
“Honestly, James.” Sirius shook his head. “What is wrong with you?”
“Two of them,” James murmured. “One wasn’t enough, I had to get two of them.”
“Excuse me?” Regulus gasped.
“Get?” Sirius mocked his voice. “Like I’m some mutt you got lumped with!”
“Or an ugly vase since he obviously thinks we’re ugly and annoying and that we should both die.”
“You should be bloody grateful. Not one Black but two,” Sirius said proudly. “And if I do say so myself, you have the two best Blacks right in front of you and you aren’t even appreciative.”
“The best?” Regulus asked softly.
“Of course, Reg.”
“I suppose the bar is quite low although I thought Andromeda or Alphard would be on that list.”
“Eh, Andromeda would be fourth I guess but she loses points for marrying someone called Tonks.”
“He’s her soulmate.”
“He should have taken her name then.”
“Fair enough. Did you hear they named their daughter Nymphadora?”
Sirius gasped. “No!”
“I know.”
“She always said she liked that name but…”
“I know.”
“Hold on, when did she have a kid?”
“Dora’s about five now, so.”
“I can’t believe I didn’t know that.”
“I can’t believe you are not in contact. I was sure you would have maintained a relationship with her.”
Sirius shrugged. “There was no need to drag her into my mess. I created too many waves when I ran off and she had only just gotten her life together.” And the thought of anything Black threatened to suffocate him—Regulus being the exception even when he thought his brother chose them over him.
“This is a silly argument.” Regulus finally said.
“I agree.”
“Nonsense, really. Our family shows love in strange ways. You bled for me, I turned myself into a mannequin for Mother’s entertainment.”
“Did she still make you try on all those hideous frocks she made herself?”
Regulus groaned. “Yes. I have no idea how a woman who had been sewing her entire life could be so bad at making garments. A dress is one of the simplest things to make and yet she always had me looking like a toddler wearing a table cloth.”
“You were adorable, though.”
“Oh, please. I recall she used to make you try on the few suits she made.”
“You gave her the idea,” Sirius said unhappily. Being Mother’s mannequin had never been fun. It required hours of standing perfectly still while she fluttered around like they were living breathing dolls for her to dress up.
“She was happier that way,” Regulus said quietly. “While she was distracted, she was not angry.”
And when she was not angry, she was not beating them senseless—beating Sirius senseless.
Sirius smiled faintly. They showed it in different ways but the love between them had always been true. “You were right, this is ridiculous. Of course we love each other equally.”
Regulus nodded. “Precisely. I believe we should be arguing over who James loves more.”
“What a brilliant idea!” Sirius brightened. “James, who do you—”
The swinging of the door was all that was left of James’ presence in the room.
“Did he run away?”
“I think so,” Sirius said with a frown.
“What does that mean?”
“He’s an idiot.”
“Yes.”
“And he’s scared.”
“He should be.”
Sirius and Regulus shared an amused look which softened into something more profound. Tutting, Sirius brought him in for another hug. “I hope this will not impact my chances of getting this job.”
“Please, you were hired even before you walked through the door.”
Sirius sent him a fond smile. “You really love James.”
“Obviously.” Regulus averted his gaze, cheeks flaring red. “He is rather charming.”
“He loves you too. It’s a little nauseating—he doesn’t shut up about you.”
Pleased, Regulus fiddled with the cuff of his sleeve. “Good.”
“Have to admit, I am now feeling a little stupid for not realising you two were soulmates. You with your mark, James with his… I should have known.”
“If anyone should be embarrassed it is James. Two Blacks, both with similar backstories, visibly alike—”
“Star names, devilishly good looks,” Sirius finished with a grin. “Effie and Monty are probably giving him shit for it now.”
“His parents,” Regulus said quietly. “You know them?”
“They took me in when I left.”
“Oh.” For a moment, he thought Regulus would be upset but he only smiled weakly. “I am glad you had such lovely people in your life. From what I have heard of them they are wonderful.”
“They are.” Sirius bit his lip. “How did you manage to get out?”
“Saved up money, stole Mother’s jewellery, sold it all and ran away with Barty.”
“With?”
“We fancied ourselves a modern day Bonnie and Clyde. Honestly, I would not have managed to get out if it were not for him.”
Sirius snorted. “Cannot believe I actually have to be thankful to that prick.”
“Surely this childish jealousy is no longer needed.”
“I don’t know. I’ve lost years with you, Reg. I’m a little bitter.”
“Bitterness is the fatal flaw of all Blacks,” Regulus said in warning. “Look at Mother.”
The last thing Sirius wanted was to become anything like Walburga Black but it was hard not to feel cheated. Sure, this way enabled him and his brother to meet their soulmates but there must have been another way, one where it did not require Sirius to lose Regulus first.
“You will drive yourself mad thinking of what could have been,” Regulus said softly.
Sighing, Sirius nodded. “Are you really going to fire Remus?”
“No, I just want to make him sweat a little. He needs to learn to mind his tongue.”
“Such an adorable little brother I have.”
“Shut up.”
“You love me so much.”
“I despise you thoroughly.”
Sirius ruffled his hair, earning himself a smack on the wrist.
“You are going to need to sign your employee contract.”
“You and your love of paperwork,” he said fondly.
“Order is essential in this business. There is a reason I am in charge and not someone like Barty or Pandora.”
“You have a lot of friends.”
“I do. They are…everything.”
Sirius understood. “I’m glad. You were always so lonely as a kid.”
“I had you. And Barty. And Kreacher.”
Groaning, Sirius collapsed on the little sofa on the other side of the room which he now realised was probably Regulus’ office. “Kreacher. That’s a name I haven’t heard in years.”
“He passed away shortly after I left. His niece sent me a letter.”
Resisting the urge to shout ‘YES’, Sirius only hummed. Regulus rolled his eyes at him. How was it that Regulus could still read his mind?
“Alright, up you get. I need to give you the tour then get your measurements for your uniform and a name badge made.”
Sirius grinned. “I’m employed!”
“Nepotism.”
“The best thing in the world when it benefits you,” Sirius said proudly. “Look at this place! My baby brother built this clinic himself!”
“I purchased and renovated it to my specifications with the help of my friends who were kind enough to invest in my business venture.”
“My baby brother,” Sirius repeated, squeezing him into a side hug as they moved out into the hallway. “All grown up and making a name for himself healing all the furry beasts of Rowena.”
“We heal exotic animals too. That is Barty and Evan’s specialty.”
“Does everyone have a specialty here?”
“Pandora is our mixed animal vet and Remus sometimes helps her since he grew up on a farm. Dorcas adores small animals like rodents and rabbits, and she has a particular interest in dentistry. I am our feline specialist. I have a few other nurses who mostly do consultations or help with surgeries but…”
“My training was mostly with dogs,” Sirius said. “I wanted to get the advanced certifications but—”
“We can fund those. One of our newest nurses, Emmeline, was a student nurse we sponsored.”
“I can pay for myself. I just never had the time,” Sirius said honestly. “Are you really okay with me working here?”
Regulus pressed his lips together. “We have a lot to work through but I am pleased for the opportunity to reconcile with you. I am willing to leave the past in the past for now but I would like to discuss some of our grievances.”
“Perhaps over dinner?” Sirius jumped at the chance. “We could go to a restaurant. Somewhere nice and public where neither of us will want to cause a scene.”
“Oh, please. We are Blacks. All we do is cause trouble.”
Sirius grinned. “Together, then? You can throw a drink at me, I’ll flip the table—it’ll be a riot.”
“Tomorrow.” Regulus agreed. “We can go straight after work. You will need the sustenance. I am going to have to change who you are shadowing.”
Sirius whined. “No. I wanted sexy Remus.”
“For at least the first month,” Regulus said firmly. “I will have you on rotation. You can start with Dorcas. She should be in tomorrow and she owes me for not telling me my brother was here.”
“I think she thought my surname was Block.”
“Then she owes me for needing glasses and not informing me.”
Sirius laughed.
And suddenly everything felt a little brighter. He had his brother back in his life, his dopey best friend was happier than ever, he had a new job, and he met his soulmate. A soulmate who did not hate him or think him unworthy—he was merely being a good friend. His words were spoken out of concern for Regulus, not disdain for Sirius.
How could Sirius ever begrudge that?
Three months later
”I just realised something, did you name the surgery after me?”
A beat. “No.”
“‘Canis Veterinary Clinic’.”
“We have many dogs as patients.”
“Oh, I’m sure.”
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“I have the cutest, most adorable, itty bitty, teeny tiny, wittle baby brother in the entire—”
“You’re fired.”