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It was rough sometimes. Always being outshadowed by someone else. Never getting to be truly alone.
Sayo hated it. Had since she could remember. But now... it was even worse.
It wasn't long into middle school that Sayo had first started to question her gender. She didn't feel very connected to boyhood like most of the other boys in her grade. So, she went digging and by the time high school was about to start, she knew she was trans
There was nothing wrong on that end. She was content with the answer. The issue with it all came in the form of Hina.
It was bad enough that Hina constantly overshadowed her as it was, but Sayo felt dread at the thought of coming out as a trana girl. Would Hina think she was trying to copy her? Would other people think that? Would this only make everything worse for her?
Those thoughts had kept Sayo silent for the rest of middle school. But, with the looming threat of going to an all boys school, she knew she had to say something. She had to come out if she wanted any peace in the next years of her life.
But, getting the courage to do so was hard. She couldn't stop worrying about what people might think of it.
"Onii-chan? Is something wrong?" Hina approached her one day, seeming concerned.
Sayo let out a sigh. She knew at some point it was inevitable that someone would pick up on this. She couldn't hide her feelings forever. But did it really have to be Hina that was the first to ask?
Hina frowned slightly at her silence and slid into a spot beside her on the couch. "You've been really down recently. Are you okay?"
"I'm fine. Just, thinking about a lot." Sayo replied.
"Are you worried about school? It's weird that we're gonna go separate places now."
Sayo looked down. Did she say it?
"Hina... can you keep a secret?"
"Hmm? Yeah. Of course, onii-chan!"
"I..." Sayo took in a deep breath. "I think I'd rather be a girl than a boy."
"You wanna be a girl?" Hina repeated.
Sayo gave a hesitant nod. "I don't feel happy as a boy. I think I'd be happier as a girl. But, I don't know how to tell mom and dad. Or... how everyone we know will react."
She bit her tongue from adding on her other concern. That was not the thing to say to the person the concern was about. Though, at least Hina was taking it well.
"You think they'd not accept it?" Hina asked.
"I don't know. I don't want to find out the hard way." Sayo replied.
"It's okay! I can help you! I'll make sure everyone treats you well!" Hina smiled at her.
Sayo's eyes widened slightly at the offer. Hina was really going to do all of that for her? Even when she was pretty cold to her on most days?
"You'd do that for me...?" Sayo asked before she could catch herself.
Hina nodded. "Of course, onii- uh, onee-chan. Is that what I should call you now?"
Sayo gave a hesitant nod, a deer-in-headlights look on her face.
After all this worry, the person she worried about the most was the easiest to accept her. Sayo was starting to feel a little bad about how negative she was portraying Hina in her mind. She was being so nice despite it all.
"Come on. We can tell mom and dad tonight when they get home. I'll be there to say something if they get mean about it." Hina said. "Oh, are you gonna try to change what school you go to next year?"
"I... don't know yet. It's a lot to think about." Sayo simply offered. She wasn't ready to bring in that issue yet. She needed to focus on one thing at a time right now.
"Are you gonna grow out your hair? I think you'd look good with long hair. Ah, we should go shopping for new clothes for you the weekend!" Hina continued to talk.
Sayo just nodded along, unsure what else to do. Hina was just overwhelming right now. A little too supportive right off the bat.
But... it was kind of nice in a way.
And if Hina cared this much, then maybe it would be okay. Everyone loved her a lot so if she wasn't budging on this, then everyone should have to accept her now too, right? Sayo hoped so at least.
She didn't exactly want to cause chaos in Hina's life with this. There was no point in both of them suffering from negativity.
Though, Hina probably felt otherwise.