Work Text:
Here's a step by step guide from IGN* on how to Romance Charon from Fallout 3:
*ᴺᵒᵗ ᴵᴳᴺ
Step 1: Obtain the freak
You're the lone Wanderer. The air is cold as you walk into a large building known as the Museum of History. Inside you find a large sign over twin doors that reads "The Underworld". Entering it you find yourself a minority, just as the ghoul outside said; this is a ghoul settlement. Tucked away from the Brotherhood, and unbothered by super mutants, they use the war grounds of the DC Ruins between factions to build a safe place from judgement, slavery, or persecution from the populus within the Capital Wasteland. Turns out it's not all rainbows and sunshine, inside there is still unrest. Ghouls aren't as kind to themselves as the regular smooth-skins are, and you're about acquainted with your newest soon-to-be lover.
His name is Charon. He didn't say that much to you. You learned that from his "employer", Ahzrukhal. But there's something about that freakishly tall and muscular Ghoul just in the corner that intrigued you. You work up the nerve to ask who and what that man is doing in the corner grumbling to himself for. He's the bodyguard of Ahzrukhal, and he's a damn good one, but you also learn he's pretty much a slave to Ahzrukhal. His life was signed away a long long time ago, and Ahzrukhal says this was the work of an organization that may have brainwashed him into being unwavering in his loyalty to the contract, he could never disobey it. That sounds like slavery to me, you think again because damn that really does be some evil shit. 1000 caps he says and the contract is yours. The flinch was underwhelming. 1000 caps for a single soul. You made those kinds of caps in your sleep. But you were also given the option to kill a woman named Greta. With her dead you'd be getting the contract as a reward for your efforts. Whatever you chose to do, lets hope you made the right one or else that might come up to haunt you later.
With that, you now own Charon's contract. You read it over thoroughly, it's pretty horrific. The contract is blatant in its desire to own the person who signs it. Complete and total control is in the position of the contract owner— which is now you. You decide to tell your new partner that you are now his contract holder. This seems to be very good news to Charon. So much so he blows up Ahzrukhal's fucking brains like it's a Fiesta party and he's the drunk uncle with far too much aggression all bundled up into one very firm wack on the Piñata. Instead of candy you're now covered in shitty Ghouls brains. Congratulations, you now have the best companion in all of Fallout. Go fuck yourself Dogmeat, you've got a new and improved loyal dog by your side.
Step 2: Have a heart, damn you!
After a while of trying to just get to know your new companion, it's met with grunts and looks of stern disapproval. You're not quite sure but you're starting to feel like you've felt this disapproval from somewhere else before— something about a father...? Actually It's not really important. I'm sure that has nothing to do with what this man makes you feel at all. Just don't think too hard about it. So you are shooting the shit and you gave a homeless man a water bottle since it was taking up room in your inventory anyways, but that seemed to strike a chord with the ghoul behind you. He liked that, it seems. But when you try to talk to him you're met with the same indifference. Seems like doing good things for decent folk might be your ticket to getting him to open up. You already did something pretty good for Gob by shooting Moriarty in the Goddamn head while he was sleeping. That's what we all do right? You certainly did and I'm not giving you an option this time in the matter. This story seems to please Charon. You could almost see him make an emotion. That's progress!
You continue to help Ghouls in the Wasteland, and hunt slavers like it's a sport. Suddenly, one night when you tried to sleep in some nasty, crusty, mold filled, human or animal fluid covered, mattress you found in a raider camp on the crusty dusty floor— you're stopped by Charon. He says you're alright for a weird smooth-skin. You sure hope so. That fuckers carrying all your damn stimpacks and he uses them like a junky because he just loves to stand infront of Super mutant masters spraying bullets into his fucking chest, but you're not going to tell him what to do. Have you seen that guy? He can do what he wants. In fact... shouldn't he always have that ability to just do what he wants? The idea both terrifies you and hits that good cookie vibe you go for. You saw what that man did to his last employer, right? You are going to imagine he's going to be that nice to you when you decide to destroy his contract? I didn't think so. For now you accept that he's just going to have to trust that you've got his best interests at heart. You keep being kind to others and him. Yes that means stuffing his pockets full of cram and radroach meat. You're doing God's work here after all.
Step 3: It's time for a quest, strap in
You've had a lot of fun times with Charon, you managed to spend far too many hours with this guy, and your options were an asshole mercenary, your childhood bully, a super mutant, and some dog I have literally never found??? Guess you could say it was fate that compelled you to buy Charon's contract. But now he's starting to open up. His words of warning every single time you entered a building and his grumbles inside your ear were just the beginning of his growing affection for you. Today when you were staring at a wall for nearly 20 minutes he asked if you could talk. When you stop watching some video on the effects “Stroads” have on culture and city infrastructure, you wipe the Cheeto dust off your fingers and agree to listen. Seems like he's been taking notes of your good deeds and has offered you a quest to gain his full trust. He wants you to find a man who used to work with Ahzrukhal many many years ago and kill him. He assures you that this guy is a piece of shit and deserves every ounce of lead put into him but when you try to pry into it, he doesn't seem to budge on the details. You agree to help him, of course you do. Let's be honest, the second he gets aggro on anything you shoot at it's over for their potato looking-ass heads. He marks the area on your map.
You find yourself in front of the doors of a very damaged building, per Charon's instructions. When you look back at him to survey his reaction, he seems to look at the place with a menacing scowl. Not that it's new for him to make that kind of face at everything, however you can sense he has some sort of history with the place. Venturing inside the building you're immediately hit with a wretched smell that invades your nostrils worse than a 2 week old mirelurk under the sun. You recognise the smell as rotting feral ghoul flesh, it's distinctive and repulsive. The worst part is that the worse the smell is, the more ferals are to be found as a result. Charon takes the lead on this walk through the crumbling halls. You know better than to ask this man if he knows where he's going, he walks with purpose. His thick army boots stomp through debris and his long legs reach over rubble and help you up and over with his big strong arms. That's definitely giving you some motivation to carry on, isn't it?
After Charon make's quick work of the ferals in the building and carving a path for you both, you and him stop just a few feet from a locked Iron door. Charon has a look of deep frustration, and grabs the nearest piece of rubble and throws it at the door but crumbles against the iron plates. You offer your help by walking over to the terminal next to the door. Guess he must have missed that. Charon waits patiently for you to do what you need to do. The terminal doesn't seem to have a password embedded, it's a service card reader terminal. You tell Charon to his dismay, he isn't sure he knows there is one to be found in the building under all this rubble. How the hell does this place even have electricity? you wonder silently in the back of your mind. You decide to help Charon find a service card. He leads you further into the basement of the compound. The place starts to become a bit more comprehensive in its design as you notice chemical labs, testing chambers, and many army level equipment. Charon's body language is more tense than it's ever been. Something about this area of the building is making him jumpy. Before you can realise it, Charon stops suddenly, you bump into his hulking frame and he growls a bit at you for the clumsy stepping. When you look past Charon you can see a feral ghoul inside one of the testing chambers, she has on a hospital gown but there's something off about her. She looked up slowly at Charon, her movements were slow, stiff, and shaky. The feral then rips her flesh from the floor like she'd melted into the concrete, and from her shifting, a lanyard around her neck reveals a service card, as well as tubes strapped to her back and into an assisted living apparatus plugged into the wall. Just what they need, however the problem is getting inside. Charon's eyes seem to be locked onto her but he speaks with conviction when he tells you that you need to get the door open so he can grab the card. He's never spoken to you with such authority before.
You have a thorough look around the area surrounding the chamber since you'd rather not test that man during his emotional quest to put his big thick shotgun right into another man's mouth. You could be a little jealous if you wanted to be. But of course you didn't invest enough into your science skill to access the security terminal. Great. Well what you did invest in was your lock picking. Finding a bobby pin you manage to unlock a desk drawer with a password for the security terminal. Got to love how google password saver was not a thing back in whatever 50's hellscape happened in the 2100's and they were relying on only post-it notes to keep their security information safe. Makes your job as a glorified looter far easier. Getting the chamber unlocked Charon enters and you see him rip the lanyard from the ferals neck. Charon stands there for a moment longer than he anticipated, looking down at the helpless feral. But something within the system malfunctioned unexpectedly. The door to the chamber closes on Charon and he bangs on the door over and over, demanding you get him out. A panic comes over you as you try to override the system security terminal but it locks you out. He growls and yells profanity at the situation with great rage. The feral in the chamber seemed to be perturbed by Charon's rage and coward in fear. He instantly realised her discomfort and stopped. When you walk over to the glass he speaks calmer, trying his best to figure out the next move with you. You seem to make the connection between the power and the security measure, so if you can find a way to turn off the power, the security system will be able to reset and release Charon. But to your surprise he refused the idea, stating it was too risky and that he couldn't keep you safe if you went too far away. The look in his eyes seemed desperate and afraid for once. You knew he wasn't being truthful with that, he was hiding something from you. Since he seemed to be in a vulnerable state, you finally ask him why he's going through the trouble of finding some man in a clearly dilapidated building. He really didn't want to tell you anything but with a sigh he finally spoke up. He was once like the girl at his feet. A test dummy for a super soldier in the war, of course he did it willingly as he was a rather blank slate with little in terms of family or friends outside the army. They tested the effects of radiation on him and he turned into a ghoul before the bombs even dropped. He was stronger and faster than ever before, he even grew larger in size, but the drugs they had him take made him disobedient and unruly, refusing tests after a certain time, and trying to opt out of the experiments. He asked them to kill him but they decided to keep him alive against his will and obey the contract he signed when he first started the experiments. He then underwent many surgeries that altered his brain in ways he never thought possible. When he woke up on a surgery table they had finally made an obedient soldier, and he found himself unable to refuse. A man who he knows as Dr. Halenkov was the man who used him like a pet, making him do humiliating tasks for what he was told were tests but were actually just sick and cruel displays of authority. This woman at his feet was another test subject that had far less ability to adapt to the ghoulification. Her family threatened to sue the company if she wasn't returned to them, they had no idea she had already turned feral. But in a twist of fate, they never got to see a single legal document as the bombs fell before it was even possible. She's likely been rotting in here ever since, not quite alive, not quite dead, not so far off from what Charon had been experiencing for the past 200 years, just in two different types of hell.
That was a lot of heavy exposition and totally not an excuse to not animate a more dramatic sequence. We don't cut corners here because it just works, baby.
You try a few methods of hacking the terminals but you're just far too much of a novice to figure out the codes. Not even a computer magazine would save you. You even tried to brute force your way in by smashing a few things against the glass with no success. You're running out of options quickly. That's you boo in there! Charon seems to admire your conviction to release him. But he finally gives up. He tells you to go and reset the power. You offer a few more choices but he knows nothing will come of it. He knows it will kill the feral beside him. It's the reason he wanted to avoid turning off the power. The weight of this task is heavy on your shoulders. Promising to make it quick, you rush through the hallways looking for a breaker. Charon stood before the Feral, his eyes unmoving. Kneeling before the feral he pulled her into an embrace, it was confused and didn't understand what was happening. Then the power suddenly shut off. The light all went out. The machine keeping the feral alive beeps loudly as the feral struggles to breathe. Charon keeps embracing her until invariably she passes in his arms. A mercy he wished he had all those years ago. The light flickers back on as the power flows back into the building. Charon pulls away from the feral and tunes off the machine. The door to the chamber then opens. He quickly moves out, not wanting it to close once more on him. You made it back to see Charon solemnly, but his hands tight to his shotgun. He seems more determined than ever to put an end to his past.
With that, Charon and you make your way back to those same iron doors, and you let Charon swipe the card on the terminal. A flash of red over the door turns green and a buzz is heard before a latch clicks within the mechanics of the door. Opening to see a dark room. When you both walk, light flickers on as the motion captured illuminates the floor. There were hundreds of dead Ghouls inside this place. You could not describe the stench. It was near immediate that you gagged hard. It was even hard for the man with no nose to stomach. Seems like the company had a purge of their subjects before the bombs could drop. All but Charon. You put on a mask or 2 and power through. Inside you make your way to an off-coloured red door that details the office belonging to a Dr. Halenkov. Pushing the door open, Charon sees exactly what he wanted. The man who tortured him. Made him suffer hundreds of years of torment from bad man to bad man. It was a skeleton on a chair. A pistol lay on the ground beside him. He took the coward's way out instead of facing his death. It's hard to tell if he did it before or after the bombs, either way, it was over.
Charon seems to have a moment of seething anger before he just walks out of the room, and leaves towards the exit of the building. He must feel like this was all just a waste of time, however with this, you feel more confident. You know despite his indifference towards everything, he's just someone trying to find purpose in a messed up world. You walk out of the building to the blinding light of the sun and you see Charon standing waiting for you.
"There you are again. Always trailing behind me like a lost puppy. Well kid, you got me. I got nothing else left in me. The last piece of my past died for nothing. She didn't deserve any of that. None of us did. Yet I'm still the only asshole alive to even think about it. I'm tired. I just... I ain't got nothing left..."
Those words hit you like a Deathclaw to the face. How could he think that of himself? His past is embedded into his being but he still has you to right a wrong. So, you do what you should have done from the very beginning. You give Charon a hug. Yeah, the contract will come later, right now he needs someone to just show him they care. He seemed taken back from your hug, staggering backwards a bit. His hand raises a bit before they clasp around you gently. His shoulders relax and he exhales. Hundreds of years of torment feels like a weight lifting off his shoulders with such an act of kindness, and he'll come to see soon, just how far you will go.
Step 4: Wait... there's a flirt option now? After all that? Seriously?
So you're now back to traveling with Charon. Strangely enough, that time in that building didn't seem to change Charon at all. Still his usual old grumpy self. Can you imagine if he changed? This is a Bethesda Game you silly Wanderer, character growth is prohibited here. Now, what we can do for you is have him tell you some more about his deep traumatic past. Let's see how well you fair.
Charon and you just cleared out a Super Mutant camp and you've got your hand really deep inside some nasty blood sac fishing for ammo and caps. ' It's gross, but it's worth it ' you definitely thought to yourself. Then Charon clears his throat, asking if you've got a second. Wiping the blood off a few caps you nod tentatively— a great start really. He tells you that he's been thinking about the time back in the testing facility and about how he woke up in Ahzrukhal's camp not too far from where the building was. Seems like Ahzrukhal must have found Charon inside and took the contract for himself. He was told by Ahzrukhal that he bought the contract from the doctor, making him think all this time the man was alive, when in fact it was always a lie. Guess it was Ahzrukhal's way of keeping Charon, extra obedient to imagine there was someone else out there who knew about Charon's weakness. Charon was no better than a slave, using Charon to mindlessly carry out murders on innocent people, and even do things that made him suffer like starving him and hurting him when he was angry.
This was all a very strange place to be telling you all this, but I guess he was finally letting out his thoughts. But what's this...? A romance option? You choose it, and hope for the best, your charisma points are finally paying off. You tell Charon he is far more than just a contract to you, and that you see him for who he really is, a man with a desire to live and to see a world he never got to experience. This seems to catch him off guard. In truth he'd never once given that thought any merit. Every single day of his life when he turned into a Ghoul has been nothing but misery and torture. His life should have ended a long time ago, yet here he was, standing among a sea of lifeless Super Mutants and a small human with a look of hope in their eyes when they stared up at him. What could they possibly see in a 200 year old used napkin like him. An attack dog? A body guard? He asks you outright, what did you want from him? That question, you answered without hesitation. He was your partner, of course. Where you went he went, and together you both were a well oiled machine when he wasn't already done killing everything in 2 shots. But you appreciate his hard work. Every single day with Charon has filled you with a sense of comfort, and you want him to share that same sentiment with you.
Charon suddenly found it hard to look you in the eyes. He had not felt such warmth from another person in all his years, or maybe he forgot what it felt like. Regardless, you seem to have dug yourself into Charon's uprooted skin.
Step 5: You've taken the next step, finally. But I'm not talking about this specific step in the guide, I'm talking about the relationship with Charon and—
So you've been having little late night giggle sessions with your "partner". I'm kidding of course, I think Charon giggling would cause a nuke to drop on my house. No, but you're having small heart to heart moments with Charon, every so often. He opens up about his time with Ahzrukhal, and the experiments he endured. You were very keen on learning all you can about him. It was very reassuring to see Charon trust in someone with his atomic level of trauma. That was some nuclear Fallout humour. It's funny because it's a big part of his lore and the game itself. It's kind of witty if you think about it—
The day finally came when you sat down with Charon and offered him a lighter. He seemed a bit confused but you stop him before he goes to put it in his backpack with all the stimpacks. You then hand him the contract. His eyes widen at the implication of what's to come. The moment finally came, and you gave Charon an order for the very last time.
"Burn the contract, Charon."
Might be a little ominous to say it like that, but like, that was the option you got from the dialog tree. He get's it.
Your word rang through his head like an alarm bell. He was to obey, but he hesitated. This was his contract that has been by him all these years, torturing him with commands and demands that made him feel less than human. What was he if not the loyal dog? Who would he be if he didn't have this purpose? The idea of what came after terrified him, immobilizing his hands. You flick on the lighter and you guide his hands. If he could sweat he would definitely be doing it right about now. His hands weren't shaking anymore. He stared into your eyes as the flame moved under the corner of the contract and slowly engulfed the page. His eyes snapped to the contract and he could feel the heat as the flames grew rapidly and devoured the paper in seconds. You pull the paper out of his hand as he just wouldn't let it go even though it began to burn him. Charon had no words, he had no tears, and he had no reason to cling to a piece of paper that no longer existed. Charon watched as every single letter or every single line on that paper vanished into ashe. An unbelievable sight for him. When the entire paper flew through the air like flakes of ember, he slowly turned his gaze to you. You could swear that mother fucker never blinked for a second of all that, and he sure as hell wasn't blinking when he stared at you. His gaze was down right freakish, but you understand he just did something very big.
Suddenly you were no longer his captor. But for some reason nothing changed about you two in terms of feelings. He had no reason to harm you, no reason to doubt your intentions, and you've done nothing but support him when he opened up to you about his past. Food, water, shelter, and a warm bed seemed so small to you, but to him, it was luxury he had not experienced in centuries, yet he had it in abundance with you. Maybe you were the key to his future, if he can scrounge something together from the mess of his existence, maybe he can let this one person be the end all be all for his purpose. You have one last option left, you tell him how you feel.
You chose the romance option guide so like... I'm sorry to break it to you homie, but you're definitely not gonna live down the corpse fucker allegations now.
As the air grew colder from the Wasteland air, and the night skin flickered a billion stars above you both, you say what you'd always thought of Charon.
"Charon, from now on, I want us to have a clean slate. I want you to finally be that man I know you are deep down inside of you. If you want to leave my side and go off into the Wastes on your own, then I won't stop you. But I certainly will lose a part of me. You are my home. Where you are, I know I am right where I need to be. And if you'd let me, I could help you find that purpose and hopefully... also find your heart."
You definitely gag a little in your throat after saying that. How cheesy, you think, but it seems to be just enough of a reason for writer to give a shit. How much do they get paid? Hold on... 42-65k CAN Anually? Yeah, no I get it now. Carry on.
Charon's eyes couldn't get any wider. He feels his chest swell and he gasps a bit with this forgotten feeling of warmth. Can someone like Charon truly ever be worthy of this feeling after all he's done, after all he's been through in his lifetimes? He questions what you could possibly gain from being with someone like him who's so broken. He seemed to shudder, unable to figure out what exactly he should think or feel. But you help him figure out exactly what you mean when you say you want him by your side. You lean up to him, your hands on his thighs as you kiss his rotten and rough lips gently. You did it now. He gets the message loud and clear, and now there's nothing holding him back. He grabs your shoulders tightly and leans you back into the kiss. He crawls over you and kisses you with far more aggression. The feeling is powerful and overwhelming. But he stops himself part way through. You open your eyes to see his face and you nearly gasp when you see Charon smile for the first time.
Wow! You did it. You got the ghoul. Is it everything you ever dreamed? I hope so. You know he will probably never actually bring any of that stuff up ever again and the only difference is that when you talk to him his dialogue will be him calling you "Doll", or "Short Stuff". But it's the price you pay for a shifty looking guide on the internet. Next time just read the manual of the game inside the game box. They still make those things, right? Oh well.
Happy Wandering Vault Dwellers 💖