Chapter Text
“The mind is its own place, and in itself
Can make a Heav'n of Hell, a Hell of Heav'n.
What matter where, if I still be the same”
-Paradise Lost
~~~~~~~~~~
I slowly came out of the depths of darkness, my head pounding, a slow throb behind my eyes. I tried to pry them open, but light pierced through them like a dagger the second my lids began to open. I let out a sound of discomfort. Was I… hung over? What had happened?
I spent several seconds trying to figure out what had even woken me up; there was a nagging in the back of my mind, something telling me I shouldn’t be asleep right now…
My alarm?
I groped for my phone, and my hand finally came into contact with it. I tapped it clumsily several times and finally my finger hit the button to make the sound stop.
I slumped back into the pillows as a tinny voice started to sound out, confusing me.
Wait…was that a call instead of my alarm?
I groaned as I grabbed the phone again, bringing it to my ear. “…’llo?”
“Ari? Are you there?”
It took me a moment to place the voice but then his face came into my mind putting two and two together. “Zayne?”
A relived sigh came over the line. “Yes, I was worried sick after you didn’t show up to the meeting spot last night. The phone lines had been down until a couple hours ago. What happened?”
Meeting spot? Zayne? Where the hell was I…
Memories started to flood in, making me even more dizzy as I tried to sit up. The lost boy hiding away in a secret protofield, Caleb disappearing for a mission, getting caught in the rain and catching a cold. Taking the medicine Caleb gave me…
A horrible feeling suddenly overcame me and I broke out into a cold sweat. I pried my eyes open and squinted at the clock.
“Ariadne? Are you alright?” Zayne’s voice came over the phone again.
“Zayne…” I choked out. “I don’t…I don’t feel good.”
“What’s wrong? Ari, where are you right now? Can you tell me?”
The world spun. I tried to speak, but all I could get out was, “Caleb—” before I slumped back against the bed, oblivion washing over me once again.
~~~~~~
The next time I woke, everything was in less of a jumble. I could feel the presence of someone close by, hear a soft voice speaking on the phone. It was familiar, though at the moment I couldn’t quite place it.
I forced my eyes open and glanced over to see the back of a dark-haired figure.
My stomach clenched involuntarily as brief images of Caleb handing me pills and locking the bedroom door came back to me.
“I understand that the situation is delicate,” came the soft, monotone voice. “But if there’s anything you can do…”
The figure turned and I felt relief instantly wash over me as I saw Zayne’s face. His eyes met mine, widening slightly as he saw I was awake.
“Alright, I have to go now, but I’ll call you back later.”
He ended the call and came over to me, sitting on the side of the bed. “How do you feel?”
I didn’t know what to say. I looked around, taking in my surroundings. I was still in Caleb’s apartment, lying in the bed in the room he said was his. I felt a prick in my hand as I shifted it over the sheets and looked down, slightly surprised to see an IV drip leading to a bag attached in a makeshift way to the headboard.
“How…did you find me?” I asked Zayne when I found my voice.
He placed his fingers against my cheek, urging me to tilt my head toward him as he examined my eyes and their reactivity. “It seems we never turned the gps tracking feature off on our phones after that last mission we went on together,” he said. “I’m glad we didn’t now.”
He reached for my wrist and took my pulse against his watch.
I watched the worried clench of his jaw before I said. “About last night…I don’t…”
“You were drugged,” Zayne said simply.
I swallow hard. I had assumed, but knowing for a fact that Caleb had seen it necessary to drug me…had he known my plans the whole time? And if so, what was his point in stopping me? Was it just in some deluded reasoning to keep me safe or…
“The IV has vitamin B in it; it will help flush the rest of it out of your system,” Zayne said. “I’ll also make you some coffee soon.”
“What happened to Kevi?” I asked shakily.
Zayne looked grim. “It appears he was rescued by members of the Fleet last night,” he said with a pointed bite.
My heart dropped in my stomach. “What?”
“I’m sorry,” Zayne said. “Due to the lockdowns last night, I wasn’t able to leave the hospital without suspicion. The Fleet had it locked down outside of emergencies and were asking for written passes to leave the premises. When I never got your call…I assumed something in the plans changed, or you hadn’t been able to get to him again. It wasn’t until I saw the news report this morning that I began to realize something might have happened to you.”
“But…that can’t be good. Kevi said that his parents told him not to go with the Fleet. There had to be a reason for that!”
“There is undoubtedly a reason for that,” Zayne said grimly. “However, right now, I’m not sure there’s anything we can do about it.”
“But the protocore fragment! Zayne, if they—”
“Calm down,” Zayne said, catching my shoulder before I could sit up. “Don’t overexert yourself right now. The whole situation leaves a pit in my stomach as well, but in the end, there was nothing we could do. I just tried to find out where Kevi was taken, but there’s no news as of yet. As much as I hate it, it’s out of our hands, Ari.”
I clenched my fists in my lap, before I realized that there was something important that I failed to tell Zayne when I first met up with him in Skyhaven.
“Zayne…there’s something I need to tell you. I…I didn’t know how to say it before but…”
He sighed and took off his glasses. “That Caleb is alive?”
I froze. “How did you—?”
“He was in the reports—the Farspace Colonel responsible for saving the missing boy. It didn’t take me long to put things together and realize where you were likely staying.”
I was silent for a long moment. “He’s not…” I hesitated, clenching my hands tighter, still trying to make sense of everything myself. “Zayne, he’s not the Caleb we used to know. Something…something’s different.”
Zayne frowned but didn’t comment. He simply leaned over me to check the IV. “He drugged you, Ari. He’s obviously not the same.”
Something ached deep in my chest as the rot I had been trying to cover up began to stink, making itself impossible to ignore any longer. Because Zayne was right. I had never felt unsafe with Caleb in the past. He had always been my protector—sometimes to a fault—but now when I looked at him, I could look him straight in the eye and I couldn’t trust what he told me. It was my trust that had made me take those pills thinking they were just for my cold. I had so blindly trusted him, but that had been my sentimentality hoping that the Caleb I knew and loved was really back from the dead.
But nothing could ever be that simple, could it?
Zayne looked like he was going to say something when his phone rang again.
He answered it, standing up. “Ah, Dr. Jones, I’m sorry, I had a bit of an emergency…what?”
I watched Zayne’s shoulders stiffen with shock as he stood still with the phone pressed to his ear.
“How did it happen?”
My heart pounded in my chest as anxiety built and built, listening to Zayne’s one-sided conversation before he ended the call and turned around. His face was pale, eyes distant.
“Zayne? What happened?” I demanded, terrified of his answer.
He hesitated a moment. “It’s…Mia. She… passed away this morning.”
“What?!” I demanded, shocked, thinking of the little girl I had met only days before. She had been injured, sure, but she had seemed so full of life. “What happened?”
“The report says she died of sepsis. However, none of her tests showed any infections yesterday.”
“You think…you think that…” I couldn’t get the words out. Everything was happening at once and I no longer had the energy to process it. I doubled over with my face in my hands, tears leaking down my cheeks. I hadn’t felt this helpless since the explosion.
I felt Zayne sit on the side of the bed before gathering me into his arms. He held me like that for a long time, rocking me gently. I could feel his own grief and confusion in the tightness of his arms around me.
There was some catharsis in crying that helped to clear my head, either that or the IV was doing its job, because as I pulled away to wipe my eyes, I felt some clarity again. Zayne handed me a tissue.
“You should go before Caleb gets back,” I said, blowing my nose. “I don’t know what he might do if he finds you here.”
Zayne sighed, but he nodded reluctantly. “I’ll leave, but I don’t want you to stay much longer. You need to leave Skyhaven today. Whatever excuse you have to give Caleb, do it. I’m leaving on the 2 o’clock train. I’ll meet you at the station then. In the meantime, I will try to find out anything I can about Mia’s death and where Kevi might be.”
I nodded, feeling a little better with a plan ahead of us. Zayne removed the IV and left me with some breakfast and coffee before he headed back to the hospital.
I ate the breakfast without any appetite because I knew it would help counter the drugs even more, but as soon as I was done, I called the Association and made my report to Captain Jenna.
I felt like a failure, but she told me that I had done what I could and that I should come back home. I could hear a hint of concern in her voice and promised that I was planning on returning to Linkon that afternoon.
As soon as I ended the call, I heard the front door to the apartment open and close. I jumped, trying to think about what to do before I simply took a deep breath and headed out the door to greet Caleb.
He was still in his uniform, a weary look in his eye and the scent of blood and death tinting his presence. I pretended to ignore it and forced a smile on my face. “Hey, you’re back.”
A smile just as forced found its way to his lips. “Hey, pip-squeak. You feeling better?”
“Yeah…I…got some pretty good sleep last night.”
“Good.”
I watched his eyes for any sign of guilt but there was no tell at all. It was like when we were kids and he acted like I couldn’t accuse him of something because he thought he hadn’t done any wrong. My heart sank further.
“Listen,” I said, holding up the phone. “My captain called me this morning. There’s something urgent that just came up and I’m gonna need to head back to Linkon today.”
“Something urgent?” Caleb frowned, heading toward me. “What’s going on?”
“I’m not at liberty to discuss that,” I said, trying to put on a teasing voice.
He smirked, but there was annoyance glinting in his eyes. “Not even with me?”
“Especially not with you, Colonel,” I reached up to flick the brim of his hat. “Sorry I have to leave so soon but…I’ll come back to visit again sometime.”
“Yeah, sure,” he said, sounding unconvinced. He glanced at the clock and took his hat off. “Look, I’m gonna take a shower. Don’t go anywhere until I’m done, okay? I’ll drive you to the station later.”
I hesitated, but nodded. “Okay.”
It might have been a bad idea, but I couldn’t help but see how he would react to my next question. “Caleb, I saw on the news that you found Kevi.”
“We did,” Caleb said shortly.
“Can I see him? I mean…I want to make sure he’s doing okay and—”
“That won’t be possible, I’m afraid,” Caleb told me.
Worry and suspicion started to gnaw at me. “Why not?”
“He’s already been appointed a new guardian—a professor—who will be taking care of him now.” He smiled but the expression didn’t reach his eyes. “Don’t worry, Ari, he’s gonna be well looked after.”
Something told me I shouldn’t be reassured by that. “But after what happened to his sister…”
Caleb suddenly frowned. “Wait…how did you know about that? She literally just passed away this morning; it was after all the news coverage.”
I opened my mouth. “Ah…one of the nurses at the hospital called me. She saw how invested I was with Mia the other day and…she thought I should know.”
Caleb watched me for a moment before he sighed and reached out to squeeze my shoulder. “I’m sorry about the girl, Ari. The doctors were surprised she lived as long as she did with her wounds.”
Yes, because Zayne and the other doctors seemed so concerned about her recovery when I was there visiting. “At least she knew her brother was safe before then,” I said.
“Yes. At least she had that,” Caleb smiled slightly, and reached up to start unbuttoning his coat. “But like I said, I’ve had a long night. When I get out of the shower, though, we can hang out until it’s time to take you to the station. When do you have to leave?”
“Oh, on the 2 o’clock train, I already bought my ticket,” I lied.
He nodded and disappeared down the hall and into the bathroom.
As soon as I heard the water go on, I dashed to gather my things, throwing everything haphazardly into my bag.
As I zipped it up, I remembered the necklace under my shirt that I had yet to give back to Caleb. I felt torn. The logical part of me knew that Caleb was lying to my face and that I needed to get out of Skyhaven before I may not have the chance to do so. But I also felt a tinge of guilt and regret running off after saying I would wait for Caleb.
I took the necklace off and placed it on the side table. Regardless, it belonged with Caleb.
A thought tickled the back of my mind as I remembered the tiny tracking device I had been given to use on the mission if needed. I felt gross doing it, but there were too many questions I had about the Farspace Fleet and their dealings. If I could keep track of Caleb, it might shed some light on everything.
I didn’t think too hard and simply attached the tracker to the back of the necklace.
Then I grabbed my bag and left the apartment. I should have just enough time to get to the station and get on the early train to Linkon before Caleb could follow me.
As I hailed a cab, I called Zayne again.
“What is it?” he asked instantly upon answering.
“Caleb came back,” I said quickly, hurrying toward the cab as it stopped for me. “I’m going to take the early train back instead. I’m afraid he might find a way to stop me if I don’t.”
“Alright,” Zayne replied. “Please call me when you get back to Linkon, Ari.”
I promised to do so and ended the call, telling the driver to take me to the train station.
I rushed to the ticket booth and then hurried out to the platform with a few minutes to spare. I breathed a sigh of relief as I handed my ticket over and the attendant took my luggage for me.
I found my seat and sat down, watching the station hustle and bustle, people arriving late and hurrying to get on the train in time. I glanced at my watch, nervously counting down the minutes.
I didn’t relax until I heard the announcement that the train would be departing. As it started moving, I finally felt the tension leave me. I still felt the heaviness of my failed mission on my shoulders and worry for Kevi gnawed at me, but at least I was putting distance between myself and Skyhaven. I would figure out how to get him somewhere safe later when I wasn’t in danger myself.
I took out my phone and sent Zayne a quick text.
Just leaving the station now. I’ll see you when you get back to Linkon.
I glanced out the window, watching the scenery flow past when—
“I thought you said you weren’t leaving until this afternoon.”
I froze in place as a figure sat next to me. I turned to see Caleb watching me, his dark eyes carefully calculating.
“What are you doing here?”
“I could ask the same question,” he said flatly. “Did another ‘urgent mission’ come up, or were you just that eager to get away from me?”
I didn’t know what to say but some instinct told me I had to be very careful. “I’m sorry. I thought it would be better to leave early.”
“No.” Caleb shook his head, shifting so that his hand rested on the seats in front of us, blocking me in. “You chose to leave without telling me, Ari. Why? What are you keeping from me?”
“What are you keeping from me, Caleb?” I demanded, unable to stop myself. “All you have done since I’ve gotten here is lie!” I leaned in, meeting his eyes. “And I know what you did last night. You drugged me.”
“You had a fever,” he said. “It was just cold medicine.”
“You and I both know that’s not true,” I said, then put my hand over Caleb’s where he pressed it against the back of the seat. I felt him tense. “Caleb…I don’t know what’s been going on with you and I understand if you can’t tell me everything, but I want you to be up front with me. You never even told me how you’re still actually alive after the explosion.”
His eyes flashed and suddenly he grabbed ahold of my wrist, pushing me back into my seat. I let out a sharp exhale, struggling instinctively as he leaned closer.
“It doesn’t matter. I’m back. And you’re with me. That’s what I’ve wanted this whole time, Ari.”
His hand trailed up to touch my cheek briefly. It was cold and I flinched. He pulled it back as if burned, but still didn’t release my wrist.
“Let me go.”
“Will you promise not to run away if I do?” he asked.
I shook my head, looking at him incredulously. “Caleb, what are you doing? You know I have to go back to Linkon, to my job! Don’t you need to be back in Skyhaven? To the base?”
“It doesn’t matter,” he snapped. “Don’t you get it, Ariadne?”
I stared at him. “Get what, Caleb? You’re not making any sense.”
His jaw tightened and he just barely managed to keep his voice low enough not to alert the other passengers. “Don’t you get how much danger you’re in? Going to Skyhaven was a mistake. People are looking for you now.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m just trying to keep you safe,” he insisted, still avoiding my questions.
I shook my head. “I’m not a kid anymore, Caleb. My job puts me in the line of fire all the time. You have to stop this.” You’re scaring me. I can’t say it out loud, but I fear that it’s in my eyes.
Caleb shook his head, and finally released me, sitting back in his chair with a sigh. “Just…let me stay with you for now. That’s all I want.”
I sighed heavily and folded my arms over my chest. “Alright, but you have to go back to Skyhaven as soon as we get off the train in Linkon, got it?”
Caleb gave me a humorless smile. “Sure. I can’t disobey you, can I?”
“Not if you want me to forgive you.” The words as well as my attempted smile fell flat.
This was not the Caleb I grew up with. I didn’t know the man sitting next to me.
I waited a while before I took out my phone, checking to see if Zayne or anyone texted me. My heart picked up as I considered mentioning to Zayne that Caleb got on the train. It might be wise.
I glanced at Caleb, seeing he was watching the rest of the train at the moment and quickly tilted my phone away from him as I typed out a quick message
C got on train. There might be trouble
The phone was yanked from my hands before I could send the message and I looked up to meet Caleb’s dark eyes.
“I tried to be reasonable, but I see that isn’t going to work with you,” he said quietly, his voice cold in the same way he spoke as the Colonel.
“Caleb what—give me my phone back!”
“Zayne was in town, wasn’t he, for the medical conference?” Caleb said as he deleted the message and started going through my phone settings. I saw him turn off the gps tracker that Zayne had used to find me that morning.
“Yeah, so? You should have said hi to him.”
Caleb gave a dry laugh. “I get the feeling he wouldn’t be happy to see me.”
“Why do you say that?” I asked, reaching for my phone again. “Does it have anything to do with Mia?”
He flinched slightly. “I had nothing to do with that.”
“But you know who did,” I stated, perhaps pushing a little more than I should but I wanted to take advantage of it while we were still in a public place. “And I don’t think Kevi is safe right now either, is he?”
“It doesn’t matter anymore! All that matters is that you’re safe and soon to be far away from Skyhaven!” Caleb snapped.
He turned my phone off completely and tucked it into his pocket.
“Give that back.”
“No, you won’t need it.”
I didn’t know what to do. Should I keep calm and wait until we get to the station or should I try to make a scene and have Caleb escorted away? I was afraid he might pull rank if I tried that though. It would be best to wait and get into the city where I could call my fellow Hunters for help if needed. I still had my watch at least.
“I don’t like the way you’re acting right now,” I said simply.
Caleb shrugged. “I’m sorry to hear that it bothers you to know I’m keeping you safe.”
I glanced away, unable to look at him another minute. I felt his eyes on me and heard a small metallic tinkle as he shifted.
“I found your parting gift.”
I couldn’t help myself and looked back at him, seeing him pull the necklace from under his shirt.
“Kinda lame to give the same gift twice,” he said, the teasing bland and without real amusement. “But I guess you did make an addition to it, so…”
My stomach sank. He’d found the tracker. A cold sweat broke out across my back. I began to think that I might actually be in real trouble. The thought occurred to me that Caleb had gone after me under orders from the Fleet—maybe that was the whole reason for his change in behavior and if that was the case I needed to be very careful with how I handled this.
“What’s the matter? You don’t have anything to say for yourself?” he asked.
I stayed silent.
“So, the Hunter’s Association was simply trying to find out the Fleet’s secrets all along, I guess. You were nothing but a mole after all. You were the one using me.”
“It wasn’t my intent,” I gritted out.
“Of course not. You didn’t know I was still alive.”
The train finally reached the Linkon station and I made to stand up but Caleb caught my wrist.
“What’s the hurry?” he said quietly.
I looked around at the other passengers getting up to leave, calculating.
Caleb seemed to see my look because his grip tightened almost painfully.
“Don’t make a scene.”
“You said you would let me go once we got to Linkon.”
“I never promised,” Caleb replied. “I have no intention of going back to Skyhaven yet. In fact…”
He stood, his grip on me tightening even further as he pulled me against his side, moving me into the aisle to follow the other passengers.
“I think we’re going to be spending a lot of quality time together from now on.”