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He wishes he'd been born with a different gift... maybe even without one. He knows there are people who would kill for a power like his, but Kaminari is willing to trade it for any of them.
He doesn't really mean it; he knows he can only be a hero because of his gift; he's too stupid to be anyone in the world without it. But his childhood could have been different if everyone he knows hadn't avoided touching him for fear of being electrocuted.
When his gift awakened, there wasn't praise or excitement, awe or admiration. There was fear. The first thing they told him was that it was dangerous and could kill someone. They drummed that into his head until he was afraid to use it at all... it only took a small touch to kill someone, right?
The first time he accidentally activated it, he had a panic attack. It wasn't the last time... it kept happening, but Kaminari knew well the pain his gift could cause. He felt it every time he went too long without discharging something. The electricity stored in his young body tore him apart from the inside. It never reached the outside, so there were no marks left behind. His parents tried to take him to the doctor when that happened, but they stopped when the electrical medical equipment fried when touched. They didn't take him back after a doctor suffered a minor shock when some of the electricity traveled through the stethoscope he used.
He didn't change when he grew up. His parents avoided touching him so as not to take risks. They never moved from their neighborhood, so his classmates were always the same as those from kindergarten, unless someone left. He didn't really have any friends, but they didn't dare bully him either. No one in their right mind would touch an electric fence. When a new student arrived, they warned him not to get too close because it was dangerous.
His parents never had any more children. They didn't want to risk creating another walking danger.
When he entered UA, he thought he'd demonstrated enough control to receive at least a spanking. This wasn't the case. His parents boasted that their son had gotten into the most prestigious hero school in the country. When he applied, they told him to back off because his quirk was only good for harming, but they didn't even touch him.
Denki's love language was touch, and although his parents deprived him of that, he knows they did it so he wouldn't hurt anyone. He was able to compensate for his hunger for affection at UA, where he could act as cheerful and outgoing as he wanted. His parents were afraid he'd get too excited and accidentally activate his quirk, but this was UA, and he couldn't hurt anyone here.
Over time, his control improved, and although his parents still avoided touching him, he had enough with his friends.
Until the war started, of course. He got his first scars when they organized that first ambush, when Midnight-sensei died. It was assumed that as long as he got adequate rest, they would disappear, but they couldn't afford a break after so many professionals announced their retirement.
He won't lie, he holds a grudge against them. They had been in the field for years, but now they were backing down out of fear. They preferred to hide as civilians and let a bunch of teenagers go to the front and clean up the mess.
The reconstruction after the battle was worse than the battle itself. With such a lack of manpower, they need anyone who can help. He knows that the support course is working to turn the UA into a fortress where evacuees can take refuge.
He knows that most of his class has to patrol the most devastated areas to search for survivors among the rubble. Some simply report it so someone can come and rescue them and continue searching. Others with more offensive gifts were assigned to search for criminals in the area. Then there are those like him who must use their gifts to make it easier to treat or transport civilians.
Denki must power hospitals that are still standing long enough to treat some. He must concentrate to maintain a steady flow of energy, or he could kill someone in urgent surgery.
He must keep it that way while simultaneously charging the emergency generators Yaomomo creates. When he's finished, the hospital can do without him. Instead, Kaminari also transmits electricity to the antennas, which his classmate leaves next to the generators, so that the affected area can be contacted and request supplies.
Then he goes to the next hospital or failing that, medical tent, he almost never manages to take a look at any of his kind and the few times he does he regrets it, at first glance he realizes that Yaoyorozu does not eat enough to compensate for the use of her gift, she looks like Uraraka only she usually vomits because of the excess of her gift, she refuses to recognizeKnowing that most of that vomiting must be due to what she finds, she's in charge of clearing away the rubble whenever they find someone, alive or dead.
This is already the fifth time Kaminari has replayed his life story to stay focused. He passed out before a generator had enough power to keep the medical tent running. Three people died in the middle of surgery, and five others who were on standby while he slept. They managed to wake him up after a couple of hours and didn't want him to know, but he realized when he saw more body bags than he remembered.
It happened a few more times. When he couldn't keep the electricity flowing, someone died. Kaminari was killing people for being incompetent. He only slept when he finished charging a generator, and never for more than three or four hours. He also made the most of the time he was being transported to another hospital or store. The streets were so destroyed that some other hero or student-hero had to carry him from one point to another. If he weren't so exhausted, he would have been embarrassed or made a joke.
With his gift in constant use, the litchengerb figures became a permanent fixture, covering the right half of his entire body down to his knees, though he found it curious and amusing how they lit up every time he kept it activated.
He was rarely sent on patrol, either because he was too tired or because his electricity was indispensable. Once, he was able to sleep for a day and a half thanks to the fact that there was nothing urgent to supply power to. When he awoke, he was sent to patrol the areas where criminals had been seen. With his pointers, he managed to bury them in a dome of electricity until they surrendered and immobilized them with a loose cable or thick rope if they found one. There weren't enough handcuffs for everyone, so they made do with what they had.
In moments like this, he feels like he could die from exhaustion alone. He knows he's not the only one charging back and forth. He's encountered some from Class B who can also provide energy, but Kaminari knows his gift is more powerful. His gift creates electricity in its purest form and is more versatile than any of them. That's why there are days, weeks, where he can only sleep for half an hour before having to force himself to continue.
He knows that some, like Yaoyorozu, are like this too, constantly on the edge of their limits. Gifts like hers are even more necessary than his. There isn't a single time he hasn't seen her creating something, unless she's passed out. She's practically malnourished, and the resources that arrive barely cover what her gift takes.
If their teacher saw them, he would have knocked them out and forced them to stop, but he can't. He's hospitalized while they make him a prosthesis. He's grateful not to be among those who witnessed it. None of them can stand it when the father figure of the class gets hurt.
He knows that Midoriya, Bakugou, Todoroki, and a few others are still hospitalized. At least they can rest. Denki was put back to work as soon as the doctors said it wasn't an urgent case.
He had a brief encounter with Shinso once, and yes, he has a small crush on him, but it's not something he really thinks about now, okay? Shinso is usually sent on patrol at night because that's when things get the most out of control, and now Aizawa's dark circles under his eyes seem like a joke compared to his own.
He knows that Monoma, the guy who always picked fights with his class, isn't doing any better. He's running around copying the most needed gifts to help in every field.
He's currently sitting on the ground, leaning against the remains of some building while he powers up the spare battery that keeps the medical tent's lights on. It's almost four in the morning, and he's still reflecting on his life. He thinks that when this is all over, he'll sleep for a month and won't use his gift for at least another month. Now, he feels a buzzing in his arm and the upper half of his right side. He can feel the vibration of electricity traveling through his body, and it's been a while since he's been on the comfortable side.
He has trouble thinking and feels like he's on the verge of a short circuit. The constant, but low, use of his gift keeps him in an almost drugged state. He can't even imagine doing something complicated like speaking, nor can he remember the last time he did. He just nods or shakes his head whenever someone says something to him. There are times when they come to check his vital signs because it feels as if he's dead, but it would be better if he were.
With the little strength he has, he turns his head towards the sky, the light pollution has reduced in this area and he can see some stars, the clear sky reminds him of the blessing in disguise that rainy days are, there are almost no places where the water does not reach and his dOn becomes a danger to be avoided, so Kaminari can sleep as much as he wants.
Moments like this remind him of the island where they faced Nine and rest was just a fleeting thought. This is the same thing, only on a grander scale, and there won't be heroes coming to get them out so they can go home and rest as much as they want.
He thinks maybe after this he could retire. He doesn't know what he'd do with his life afterward, but his class covered the quota for an entire career as professionals. He prays to any higher being that the war—good God, they're in a damn war—ends soon. His class should automatically graduate when this is over.
He feels a small tear roll down the corner of his eye, but he doesn't dare let any more fall. He can't afford to get dehydrated. At first, he used to cry through the nights like this, working until the sun came up only to have someone take him somewhere else to continue.
The backup generator beeps as it fills up, and Kaminari thinks it's his new favorite sound. He looks around to see if anyone comes over to tell him he still has a job.
A guy in a bathrobe approaches him two minutes later and kneels in front of him. It's an older man who looks at him gently, with a hint of sadness in his eyes. Kaminari has forgotten how old he is. He takes the hand he's holding on to the generator, places it on his lap, and says, "Hey, little hero. I heard from some of my buddies that your name is Chargerbolt. You've already stocked all our generators, and no one in the area is in an emergency. You can rest." He gives him a smile and a pat on the shoulder when the teenager's eyes flash with doubt.
After the man leaves, Kaminari finally allows himself to close his eyes and falls asleep in less than five seconds, reassured because he knows no lives are in danger because of him. He knows that with luck he'll only get six hours of sleep before they wake him up to continue using him, but at least now he can imagine not having to get up again for another decade.
Weeks pass until they manage to establish an electrical grid. When things finally start to calm down a little, Kaminari begins to feel almost like himself again. He knows none of them will ever be the same again. Things really improve after Midoriya wakes up and runs away to keep them safe, but the entire class is plotting to drag him back to UA, so he knows they'll pull through.
Nothing fills his soul as much as seeing Yaoyorozu regain her weight, finding Shinsou sleeping on the couch, or seeing Bakugou cooking like in the old days. It feels like an eternity has passed. He finds it hard to believe he's finally out of the pit they were in, where he felt more like a machine than a person. Sometimes he thinks it's all a hallucination induced by exhaustion, and some nights he allows himself to cry for hours just out of relief that the worst is over and hasn't arrived yet. He often feels like that period was just a horribly realistic nightmare, but none of them will ever forget that stage in their lives.
He knows that everyone will make it through, that sooner rather than later all of this will end. Things will take time to return to normal, but they will, and that's enough. He can sleep peacefully in bed knowing that no one will come to wake him up and spend hours using his quirk. Now he just has to rest because tomorrow they will put their plan to bring his classmate back into action, and he needs all the energy he can muster.