Archive of Our Own

JANUARY 2008

Seunghyun was being ghosted, or at least that’s what it felt like. You’d think a boy would get a better chance of earning a call from at least one of them when all three friends were training under the same label and thus lived in the same building. It wasn’t for Seunghyun’s case, he tried calling them on weekends like they preferred ‘cause then they would be free from schedules. 

It was January 2008, and no one called Seunghyun in the first week.

It was a snowy, cold Saturday evening when he was on his way to the DVD palace to buy a new movie. His dad finally had a satisfactory job, and with his mom, they bought a new laptop for him with a disc player for Christmas. Truthfully, Seunghyun wouldn’t buy a new one, if it weren’t for the fact that they didn’t call him.

At the brick-walled entrance stairs was Hyorin, dressed in white and pink floral winter clothing, talking to someone on her Samsung keypad. He gave her a small smile as Hyorin’s eyes wandered to look at him, returned the smile and then frowned as she turned her back on him, continuing to speak to whoever she was speaking to on the phone.

It was ironic that Seunghyun had lived his whole life in town and had not seen or heard of Hyorin until she was hanging out with Youngbae. By then, he barely had any encounters with her outside of school, but ever since his friends had all left, he was sure that he’d seen Hyorin more times than Daesung, Youngbae, and Jiyong combined in a year.

Seunghyun welcomed himself inside the DVD palace and beelined for the action aisle. The DVD palace was known for its diversity of physical copies of movies, meaning that Seunghyun was unlikely to run out of options before he decided to switch genres. His eyes were skimming through the titles of mainstream and Korean action films, debating whether or not he should buy “Joint Security Area” starring his favorite artist, Lee Byung Hun, or “Charlie’s Angels”. “Charlie’s Angels” was much cheaper than “Joint Security Area” since the movie was 6 years old and had less demand, that was why he considered it.

He picked “Charlie’s Angels” from the shelf, limped to the counter, placed it on the wooden countertop, and reached inside his pocket to fish out money. He gave the exact amount to one of Jiyong’s previous colleagues, a guy named Si-Woo, but for some reason called him “Skip”.

“Why ‘Skip’?” Seughyun remembered asking one time on a Sunday afternoon in his bedroom. Jiyong hummed, “Well, I didn’t ask- I’ll try to ask him if I remember. It’s cool though, you have to admit,” he said with a breathy laugh.

His chest ached at the memory of how his eyes brightened when he laughed.

Skip was humming to one of the songs playing lowly on the speakers of the building. Seunghyun wanted to ask the reason why but dismissed the idea after realizing it was such a Jiyong thing to do. After his DVD was put inside a green plastic bag along with the receipt and then given to him, he walked out the glass doors of the shop, shivering at the sudden cold breeze that went past him. He was about to continue his walk home before he spotted Hyorin’s figure sitting on the final step of the brick staircase, entrancing the DVD palace, surprised at how she was not physically shivering.

Seunghyun leaned over to take a proper glance at the girl. “Yo… you good?” he asked with genuine concern as Hyorin lifted her head slowly. Her eyes were glossy with tears about to stream down her cheeks, and her face scrunched up in helpless sadness. “Woah, what the hell? Are you okay?” Seunghyun frantically rambled as he sat next to her on the cold steps, placing his cane beside him. Hyorin uncontrollably sobbed into her pink-gloved hands.

Seunghyun had never really hung out with a girl before, let alone seeing one cry (unless his mother would be counted). So he was at a loss for what to do. Seunghyun reluctantly grabbed her shoulder and started rubbing it awkwardly. “Hey… um, could you at least tell me what’s going on? What is it?” Seunghyun asked in a gentle voice, careful not to step on a nerve that he was unaware of. Hyorin sniffled, wiping her tears with the back of her hand.

She looked up at Seunghyun with cold-bitten cheeks and trembling lips. “Sorry- it’s just, it’s-” Whatever it was, she didn’t have enough strength within herself to say it completely. Seunghyun instinctively patted her on the back, encouraging her, “Hey, Youngbae would kill me if I didn’t ask you what’s wrong, alright?” he said lightheartedly, attempting to joke.

Hyorin’s eyes were brimming with tears once again, her lips trembling even more as a tear slipped down her pink cheeks. 

Seunghyun frowned at her reaction, slowly piecing together an assumption. “Hyorin… what’d he do?’ he whispered the question as the girl beside him sniffled, making quiet whines from trying not to sob hysterically.

After taking long and deep breaths, she finally exhaled shakily and looked down at her lap. “He broke up with me,” she admitted.

Seunghyun widened his eyes as he fished his keypad from his jeans pocket, about to dial Youngbae’s number before Hyorin fiercely grabbed his wrist. “No, Seunghyun, just… just don’t,” she mumbled as she slowly stood up, wiping the snow from her pants.

Seunghyun grabbed his cane, helping himself up, still holding the plastic bag and the phone in one hand. “Hyorin, listen-” he was about to comfort her with his words, but Hyorin shook her head repeatedly. “No, it’s fine, I’ll… I’ll handle it, thanks,” Hyorin mumbled as she started to walk oppositely from Seunghyun. 

Seunghyun had no choice but to walk home, attempting to dial Jiyong from his keypad.

All 9 calls were declined.

────────────

Seunghyun was on his desk at midnight, staring at the playing copy of “Charlie’s Angels” on his laptop screen. His chin was resting on his palm, elbow propped on the wooden table. He figured the plot was satisfactory, so he should be focused on the movie. Instead of following along on the investigators' action-packed mission, he was thinking of Jiyong.

He wasn’t a stranger to Jiyong declining his calls; he was used to it, at best, but only if Jiyong followed up with an explanation through text. He called at least fifteen- heck, maybe even fifty times today; he either declined or left Seunghyun on voicemail. No text with an explanation, nothing .

Seunghyun’s brain was sensitive to over-exhausting mental activity, such as overthinking and unnecessary thoughts about himself or his friendship with his friends. Usually, he was good at keeping his feelings at bay, whether it be through music, art, or watching movies. He had many ways to control his emotions and keep himself grounded.

But right now, Charlie’s Angels” wasn’t cutting it.

He pressed the space bar on his laptop to pause the movie, hands carding through his hair as the doomed thoughts of Jiyong forever abandoning him without explanation clouded his mind.

Seunghyun felt something lumped inside his throat as his eyes pricked with tears, threatening to spill out. He huffed as he stood up from his chair, its wooden legs scratching against the wooden floor. He turned to his bed, where he wanted to sink into and forget that he had ever existed. 

A tear trickled down his cheek as he caught the landscape of Seoul staring right back at him, the artwork that was supposed to hook Jiyong home, to him- silently taunting him. 

His fingers trembled with annoyance as his hand moved without thought, ripping the glued-together mosaic on his wall, leaving tears of paper still glued to the painted concrete.

Seunghyun’s quiet sobs filled the room as he tore apart the papers on the wall, silencing the voices in his head the more he shredded his work with his bare hands. 

The shredded bits of paper sat at the edge of his bed, the space where Jiyong had grown fond of after many visits to his house. Seunghyun let himself sink onto his bed, curling up on his mattress, arms hugging himself to feel a familiar warmth he longed for.

He sobbed quietly into his pillow, rubbing his palms on his shoulders. No warmth, no Jiyong.

Even though Seunghyun’s eyes were shut, he saw Jiyong lying in front of him, telling him that he was handsome and that he was sorry for not calling back. He opened his eyes, looking at the space of his bed, where Jiyong once used to lay, staring right back at him with playful, gorgeous eyes.

His heart clenched at the thought that he was going insane . Seunghyun brought his hands up to his face to wipe his tears, pulling himself together. It’s okay, it’s going to be fine . 

He felt the cold silver against his cheek as he wiped away his cold tears. Seunghyun brought his hand away to look at the thumb ring. 

  “ See? We match,”

Seunghyun couldn’t help but choke out the sob that erupted from his mouth, more tears streaming down his cheeks as he took off the ring from his thumb and gripped it tightly in his palm, eyes tightly shut and breath labored from all of his weeping.

Seunghyun stayed in that position the whole night, hoping that maybe the more he held onto the ring, the sooner he would be by Jiyong’s side. That was all that comprised most of Seunghyun’s nights ever since his friends had gone to the city for their dreams: resentment, sadness, and longing. Seunghyun could gaslight himself over and over again that he felt fine about his friends leaving him, but no one would be his biggest critic other than himself to object and say that he wanted to be with them, he wanted to be right beside Jiyong, singing, dancing- whatever he had to do, he just wanted his friends back, his Jiyong back.

────────────

Seunghyun was walking with his mom from the hospital right after an extensive therapy session for his leg, his physical therapy sessions were all paid for by his dad because it was in his best interest that Seunghyun’s leg would be back to normal. Even though Seunghyun had said time and time again that he was fine living with a limp his whole life. His dad stubbornly refused.

“I don’t understand, dad sometimes,” Seunghyun mumbled as they waited for a taxi to come by. “He doesn’t like spending money, but he’s willing to throw away money for physical therapy?” He added, annoyedly as his mother laughed. “It’s not just physical therapy he’s paying for; it’s for your wellbeing,” she replied amusedly. Seunghyun nodded with a heavy sigh. “I told him I could live with a limp my entire life,” he reminded her.

“Seunghyun-ah, he saw how much you were struggling with your friends going to Seoul. That’s why he’s doing this for you. Can’t you just be grateful?” She attempted to persuade light-heartedly. Seunghyun huffed. “I just hate feeling like a charity case, that’s it,” he murmured as his mom pinched his ear, earning a yelp from him as she pulled him down to her height.

“Listen, your father has done everything he could to make us whole again, alright? I want you to say thank you to him when he gets home later after work,” she scolded in a low voice through gritted teeth. Seunghyun whined from the sharp pain in his ear. “Yes, alright, alright!” he exclaimed in surrender.

As soon as they went home, his cell started ringing inside his pocket. He flipped the phone open to answer the unsaved contact. He brought it up to his ear. “Hello?” he said to the phone. “Is this Seunghyun, Choi Seunghyun…?” It was Hyorin’s familiar voice that stunned him into silence, jaw hanging open. 

“Umm, hello?” Hyorin called his attention, making him snap back to reality. “Hey, yeah, it’s me- sorry,” he replied frantically. “I’m gonna get him back,” she said determinedly while Seunghyun’s eyebrows knitted together. “I’m sorry, get who back?” he asked as he walked over to sit down on the couch. He could hear Hyorin sigh impatiently on the other end. “Youngbae, I’m talking about Youngbae- that’s why I’m calling you,” Hyorin ranted. 

“How did you even get my number?” Seunghyun wondered, “Youngbae gave it to me a while back in case I needed help, and right now- I need it, Seunghyun,” she said desperately. “Hyorin, you do know that he’s in Seoul, right?” Seunghyun muttered to her on the phone, “Yes, I know- but I have a plan, Can we meet up?” Hyorin requested straightforwardly, 

“Woah, hold on- what does this have to do with me? What makes you think I would agree with whatever you’ve got planned?” Seunghyun bargained, and Hyorin laughed sarcastically on the other end. 

“Because you miss them,” She replied simply. Seunghyun’s chest tightened anxiously. “I know you do, especially Jiyong- you miss him the most, don’t you?” Seunghyun’s cheeks flushed as if he just got found out about a secret. It was a secret, but he didn’t expect Hyorin, out of all people, could sense it even if they weren’t close. Was it normal to miss hanging out with your lifeline? Miss kissing him?

Hyorin chuckles at his silence. “Silence means yes, besides this plan will work for the both of us, not just me- okay? I know you’re lame about girls, but I know you’d do anything to meet them again.” Seunghyun frowned at the last part of her sentence, “Hey-”

“So, are you good to meet up at the DVD palace at 2 P.M. tomorrow?” 

“Fine,” Seunghyun grumbled,

────────────

“We leave for Seoul as soon as we can,” Hyorin said determinedly, eyes brightening with ambition and lips thinned in a serious expression. Seunghyuyn crossed his arms, “And what exactly do you plan to do in Seoul? Get a job and then what? We can’t survive out there. I only have a high school diploma; it’s not enough to be employed there,” He pointed out pessimistically. Hyorin tutted as she leaned against the brick wall near the entrance to the DVD palace. “Bro, that’s why it’s gonna take us at least four years, maybe even more, so that we’ll have enough money,” she explained patiently. 

“I’m gonna go to college while you work and save some money for us.” Seunghyun frowned, still extremely puzzled about the half-assed plan. “How is going to Seoul gonna get Youngbae and Jiyong back…?” he asked as Hyorin huffed, her breath visible from the cold. “We become famous and be at the same level as them, that way they’ll see us as more than the loved ones they left here,” she elaborated seriously, Seunghyun’s frown deepened as he let out a sarcastic laugh, “Hyorin- you’re betting on our lives for fame so that we can get your ex and my friends back?” Seunghyun summarized in disbelief.

Hyorin remained still and determined. “The plan still works if you won’t go with me. I don’t need doubts- we don’t need doubts when they left us here and broke their- their promises to us,” she went on, voice trickling from determination to desperation, cheeks tinting pink as her eyes become glassy with tears.

Seunghyun clenched his fist as the thoughts rose in his mind. “I’ll help you,” he replied determinedly. Hyorin smiled in relief, a tear trickling down her cheek. “I could hug you right now,” she sighed out, “But I’m saving that for Youngbae,” Hyorin admitted half-heartedly as Seunghyun rolled his eyes. “Fucking widow,” he muttered as Hyorin slapped him on the shoulder. “Language!” she yelped, like instinct.

And just like that, Seunghyun found someone to rely on once again. It may not be Jiyong or Daesung, but he was used to life giving him the most unexpected things. Seunghyun wasted no time and immediately started to look around for jobs the following week. He applied as a bag boy at their local grocery store. His mom wasn’t enthusiastic about the idea, but she supported him, and that was all he needed. Expectedly, his dad wasn’t thrilled but accepted it, as long as Seunghyun would still try physical therapy to get rid of his limp. Hyorin started college as a public relations major, and their plan was set afoot. 

All was well in his life, yet his heart ached, and he longed for his friends in the city. That was enough for a teenager like him to crumble into a child with tears down his cheeks.

AUGUST 2014

Seunghyun was fidgeting with his hands, his leg bouncing anxiously as his eyes were fixated on the entrance of the cafe. He was waiting for the museum owner who had noticed his art online and was coincidentally in town for family matters. He was invited to meet up with her to discuss an opportunity to showcase his art in her museum. 

His mother didn’t need to pester Seunghyun to present himself well. Seunghyun was dressed up in his nicest polo shirt and slacks and had neatly styled hair. Jiyong would’ve never recognized him, thanks to Hyorin’s persistent use of Korean skincare, lathering his face with serums overnight and sunscreen in the daytime. His hair was also trimmed nicely. Needless to say, he was put together and embarrassingly confident.

His posture straightened up once he saw the familiar woman entering the cafe. She was dressed in an expensive red blouse paired with black trousers and heels, her jacket was hung over her arm as she held her black purse.

She smiled warmly at Seunghyun as he got up to bow his head out of respect. She held out her hand for him; he took it gently and shook it. “Choi Seunghyun, ma’am.” The wrinkles beside her eyes creased as she smiled at him, “Call me Mrs. Kang. Thank you for accepting my last-minute invite.”

As they both settled down on their chairs, Seunghyun shook his head frantically. “Ma’am, I would’ve gladly accepted the invite if it was offered fifteen minutes ago,” He joked playfully as Mrs. Kang laughed amusedly. “Oh, finally, a humorous one.”

Only because I’m nervous , his brain supplied for him as he laughed along with her.

“Before we start anything, can I offer you coffee or tea? I’m a usual at this place,” Seunghyun offered politely as the middle-aged woman shook her head. “Oh dear, that won’t be necessary. I have lunch later with my kids, so I’m alright,” Mrs. Kang replied smoothly. Seunghyun smiled as he placed his hands on the table, folding them together. “How sweet. I won’t hold you up long,” he promised as Mrs. Kang chuckled.

“I want to discuss with you my plans for an exhibit filled with your art and hone your skills for future merchandise for my museum,” Mrs. Kang stated straightforwardly. Seunghyun’s eyes widened in surprise. “Mrs. Kang, I don’t mean to doubt you, and you shouldn’t doubt my capacity, but aren’t you a bit hesitant in putting me in charge for all of that?” he asked as the middle-aged woman waved her hand dismissively. 

“Mr. Choi-”

“Seunghyun is just fine.”

Mrs. Kang breathed deeply. “Seunghyun, you have a great talent, and I’ve seen what you can do, and you could do more…” she began to look troubled, eyes downcast and eyebrows furrowed in hesitance. “The museum is facing a lot of financial problems, and I need more attractions to earn the money I need to maintain it,” she explained heavily, as pity overwhelmed his chest. She examined his pitiful expression and then smiled softly, “I understand that you might have a lot going on in your life, considering how young you are. But I want you to think this can open many doors to your career, I have many art collector friends in case you don’t want to work with me,” she said heavily as Seunghyun shook his head frantically.

“Mrs. Kang, I would be delighted to help you out through my work- my only issue is the housing and the support that I would need at Seoul,” her eyes gleamed with hope at his response. Seunghyun scratched his nape. “The truth is, I have been planning to go to Seoul for a while with a friend, and our budget that we’ve saved up isn’t generous enough for the both of us,” he explained gravely as the woman nodded as she hummed in thought. “I could find a small apartment for the both of you, and I’ll pay the rent for the first few months just until the both of you can settle down and slowly pay off the bills.” Mrs. Kang offered as Seunghyun blushed in embarrassment, “Oh, but I wouldn’t want to trouble you-” the woman surprisingly shushed him fiercely.

“Seunghyun, I hope I’ve made it clear that my museum matters so much to me. I mean that in a way that I will help you if you help me out too, is that clear?” Seunghyun sighed softly as he nodded. “Yes, of course, Mrs. Kang,” she smiled gratefully. “Thank you. Now I advise you to fly to Seoul next month. I don’t have an exact date, but since I already have your contact information I will give you more details,” Mrs. Kang explained as she stood up, bowing politely to him as Seunghyun did the same.

“I expect you to be cooperative, Mr. Choi,” Mrs. Kang said seriously as Seunghyun nodded with a tight-lipped expression. “Don’t worry, Mrs Kang, I’ll take this opportunity seriously,” he promised in a determined voice as she nodded. 

“I’ll be off then, thank you.”

Seunghyun didn’t sit down once the woman was out of the cafe. He sighed a long breath that he had been holding for the past minutes that they were discussing, then picked up his phone to call Hyorin over the cafe.

“Damn she offered that?” Hyorin exclaimed after she took a long sip of her salted caramel latte. Seunghyun smiled, “She did. She said she’ll contact me for further details,” he went on as Hyorin grinned in excitement as she stood up and shook Seunghyun back and forth. “It’s happening, it’s happening, it’s happening!” she squealed, practically hopping in place. Seunghyun looked around at the people starting to gawk at them because of her sudden excitement. In turn, Hyorin looked at the customers, bowing profusely and muttering an apology.

Seunghyun laughed at her as she finally settled down in her seat. “This is so great; we can finally leave!” she said dreamily, sipping on her straw. Seunghyun sliced a piece of cheesecake and slid it into his mouth. “You need to land yourself a gig soon, though. Mrs. Kang would only pay off our rent for a few months ‘time till we can pull ourselves together,” he mentioned as Hyorin smiled gleefully.

A comfortable silence took over the both of them as Hyorin smiled into space, zoning out. Seunghyun broke the silence by laughing at her expression, She frowned at him, “What’s up?” she threatened as Seunghyun shook his head, taking another bite off of the cheesecake with his fork. “You’re just goofy-looking,” he teased as Hyorin rolled her eyes, folding her arms. “Oh, shut up, lover boy,” she tutted. 

Seunghyun’s eyes gleamed with mischief. “Oh, you wanna go there? Mrs “I swear I’ve moved on,” but then can’t handle it when you see him in a magazine or online!” he teased as Hyorin huffed, flicking her long hair with her hand. “Excuse me, but this Seoul thing is for me and me only. I’m not going to let Taeyang walk into my life like nothing happened,” she replied fiercely, sipping from her half-finished latte. 

During their many years of friendship, Seunghyun had witnessed Hyorin cry, gush, and sob over Youngbae again on many nights when they hung out. Ever since the day that Seunghyun discovered their break up, neither Youngbae, Daesung nor Jiyong had called them again.

So while Hyorin was in college, trying to detach from the thought of Youngbae, Seunghyun was still reminiscing of stargazing with Jiyong under the sky, and he never forgot his eyes as he went to bed.

Many times he had cried about him, but the most was dreaming of him and treating him like he was a made-up friend that had kept him company throughout his childhood. Jiyong was a fantasy to Seunghyun; G-Dragon was a product of their separation.

But hey, at least his star is shining, right?

Hyorin suddenly pointed a finger at him accusingly, “And you shouldn’t let Jiyong in so easily either,” Hyorin demanded as Seunghyun scoffed. “Yes, well, as much as I’d want to, I doubt I would give him a hard time,” he admitted as Hyorin laughed.

────────────

OCTOBER 2014

“Have you gotten all your stuff?” His mother pestered worriedly, grabbing his shoulder to snatch his attention from zoning out. “Yes, mom- I got it, don’t worry,” he reassured her with a soft smile as he was engulfed in a tight hug by the short woman. “Mom- please, I’ll be back by New Year’s Eve. Don’t worry too much,” Seunghyun said as he eyed his dad, who had been anything but worried; instead, he was quiet and reserved. 

He flashed his old man a smile. “You ain’t gonna miss me, dad?” he asked softly as his father reluctantly wrapped his arms around him. “Of course I’m gonna miss you a lot, Seunghyun-ah,” he whispered into his ear with a shaky voice. Seunghyun frowned as he pulled away. “No way- dad, are you crying?!” he exclaimed as his mother slapped him on the shoulder before patting his dad’s shoulder as the man crumbled into his own hands.


“Will you stop bullying your dad?”

“I was not!”


Seunghyun laughed as the three of them huddled together in a bear hug. “I love you, son. Come back if it gets tough. We’ll work something out for your talent, alright?” his dad said in a shaky voice as Seunghyun felt the urge to cry alongside him as well, but he knew it wouldn’t do much for his mother, who was also holding back tears. “I love you both, okay? Take care of each other and try not to rip each other's head off,” he joked as he kissed the head of his mom before pulling away and gripping the handle of his luggage. 

Seunghyun joined Hyorin with his luggage and backpack slung over his shoulders as she waited for him by the entrance of the train. They both walked inside the train together, holding each other’s determined gaze. Knowing that this was it . Whether Seunghyun was doing it for himself or Jiyong, or if Hyorin was doing it for her career or to get back with Youngbae, they knew that there was no turning back but another journey ahead. 

The train ride was only three and a half hours long, and Seunghyun was already asleep by the second hour. He was in a deep sleep until Hyorin harshly tugged and poked at him with her hands. “Seunghyun!” she hissed at him as his head turned to her, and he frowned. “God, Hyorin- what is it?!” he exclaimed as Hyorin shoved her phone to his face. It was a post on Instagram, featuring a video of Seunghyun’s seventeen-year-old self singing the infamous No Diggity by Blackstreet and Dr. Dre.

Seunghyun’s back straightened, and he frowned at the phone, recognizing the memory and hearing Youngbae’s adlibs as he sang. He faintly remembered recording the cover in the music room right before graduation practices. “What- what the hell?!” he exclaimed, causing heads to turn throughout the train. Hyorin glared at him. “This is you, isn’t it?!” she whispered hastily as Seunghyun’s eyes widened at the number of likes it had. Over five thousand. 

Seunghyun shook his head, “It’ll die down, whoever posted that- it only got five thousand likes. I don’t think that their fans are gonna hunt me down,” he said dismissively as Hyorin’s face twisted in disagreement. “Seunghyun, what if-”

“Don’t Hyorin,” he scoffed,

Hyorin huffed in exasperation, “What? It’s a possibility that they’re looking for another member and want you to fill in the spot- what then?!” she argued as Seunghyun glared at her fiercely. “Hyorin, you think after more than five years, I would ditch you for some dirty fame and a chance at a singing career alongside them? I won’t, I will never,” Seunghyun assured her as Hyorin’s eyes dulled in hesitation.

“We will make something out of ourselves. I won’t let a stupid video get in the way of me and the museum opportunity,” Seunghyun promised as Hyorin looked at him with a troubled expression. He leaned towards Hyorin with a determined look, pointing a finger at himself, “I know I sacrificed so much for this, Hyorin. I’m not gonna ditch my only friend after they decided that they wanted nothing to do with me,” he clarified before leaning back onto his seat. Hyorin sank into her seat, her phone turned off on her lap, and she looked dumbfounded.

“Now, get some rest before we arrive, yeah?” he encouraged, ignoring the hammering of his heartbeat. Reminding him of the feeling when Jiyong would be inches away from kissing him or when he held him so carefully.

Once they stepped out of the train station, Seunghyun and Hyorin weren’t met with the sight of the usual greenery at Gangwon. Seoul was a city of tall buildings, electric towers, and roads neither Hyorin nor Seunghyun knew where they led. Thankfully, it wasn’t difficult to hail a cab and just state the address of their apartment, which was where Mrs. Kang would be waiting for them. Hyorin’s mouth dropped at the sight of a GPS on the taxi’s dashboard; that’s how oblivious they were to the progression of the country’s capital.

With sluggish and tired muscles, Seunghyun helped Hyorin drag her sling bags towards their apartment, which was located at the very end of the third-floor hallway. His shoulders stung, having his backpack and two of her slingbags around his shoulders but his gait was still direct and rushed, wanting this day to be over with.

Their apartment door was open, Mrs. Kang was waiting for them in their doorway with a warm smile and dressed in a formal attire. “Good afternoon to the both of you,” she greeted kindly, eyes twinkling at the sight of Hyorin. “Oh, you must be Hyorin! It’s very nice to meet you,” the woman said as she bowed toward Hyorin, and the girl returned the respect. “I’m very grateful for your generosity, ma’am. If it weren’t for you, I would hav-”

“Well, all that matters, dear, is that you trusted me with your lives to come all the way here.” Mrs. Kang interjected politely as Seunghyun squeezed his way further into their apartment to be met with a small living room combined with a kitchen and a dining room. He propped his luggage by the TV and dropped the bags around his shoulders on the velvet-colored couch.

He sank onto the couch, muscles finally releasing tension as he ignored Hyorin and Mrs. Kang chatting at the doorway, too tired to socialize and too preoccupied with a hammering headache from the smell of the taxi earlier.

Thirty minutes had passed, and Seunghyun’s head was still rested against the couch as he shut his eyes. He had only bothered to stand up when Mrs. Kang had finally ended the conversation “I have to get going now. I will bother Seunghyun-ah tomorrow. I trust that both of you are quite tired, so… goodbye!” she chirped as she waved at Hyorin and Seunghyun, “Take care, Mrs. Kang,” Seunghyun called after her as Hyorin heaved a deep sigh as the door slammed shut.

“She’s very… eccentric,” she said to Seunghyun as he chuckled dryly. “She is, just like me,” he noted as Hyorin laughed before flicking his forehead as she was on her way to open the door to what she presumed was the bedroom. “Watch it! My head hurts,” he hissed after her.

“Oh. My. Fucking. God,” 

Hyorin’s amused tone turned into dread as she slowly turned around to face Seunghyun on the couch. Seunghyun stood up and walked over to look at the bedroom. Dreadfully enough- it was a king-size bedroom. Which could only mean one thing.

“Does she think we’re a fucking couple?!” she furiously yelled as Seunghyun shook his head, “I- I always referred to you as a friend when we talked over the phone, in person and on text, I don’t know!” Seunghyun exclaimed nervously as Hyorin raked her fingers through her hair.

“It’s ‘cause you don’t look the part, Seunghyun- you-”

“What do you mean, ‘ I don’t look the part’ ?” Seunghyun asked frantically as Hyorin’s fingers pinched the bridge of her nose. “You don’t look like you like men; that’s what I was saying,” she stated bluntly. Seunghyun frowned. “Well- I don’t exactly plan to let everyone know that I am,” he sassed as Hyorin smiled mischievously at him.

“You should, now that we’re practically strangers to everybody in this city and everyone here probably doesn’t give a damn if you were g-”

“Hyorin!”

Hyorin laughed at his flusteredness and slapped him on the shoulder, “Jesus, hyung, you’re really-”

“I told you to stop calling me that,” he muttered, his demeanor completely changed, amusement leaving the crevices of his expression as he stepped away from her. Hyorin hummed as she went inside the bedroom.

“You take the couch, alright, you grump?” 

Seunghyun scoffed, “Just give me a pillow and a blanket, and I’ll be fine.” he sighed as he sat back on the couch, turning on his phone to check his muted notifications. He frowned as he scrolled through the Instagram notifications he had on his lockscreen. 

He remembered the video that Hyorin showed him on the train a few hours ago, and his heart almost leapt from his chest. Seunghyun frowned at his phone as soon as the thought of those likes and follows from strangers came from that video. He huffed as he shut his phone off, putting it down on his lap as he shut his eyes, letting exhaustion embrace him to sleep.

────────────

“Respectfully, Hyunsuk-nim- I can’t bother him now when you’ve-” Jiyong stopped himself as he saw the man before him pacing across his office, aggitatedly. Youngbae ran his hands through his unstyled hair, “You explicitly told us to drop him, to focus on what’s ahead, and now, now you want us to lure him in for an audition!?” he exclaimed in a ridiculed manner.

The brains and strength of the company, Yang Hyunsuk, had stopped pacing and was looking at the three of them with narrowed eyes. “No one can refuse a great opportunity; besides, what could go wrong?” he stated simply as he sat down on his chair. Jiyong tutted tensely, storming out of the room as he could hear Youngbae’s footsteps following behind, voice calling after him.

Jiyong was a person that no one could say no to, but it was then when he set foot in this very building, in the very office he ran out from was when he also found out that he was a person that could say ‘yes’ as long as it satisfied the other party, as long as it also satiated his dreams. 

He said yes to everything he said,

“Leave your hometown to train for at least 2 years.” DONE

“Eat this, don’t eat that, be friends with him, befriend her,” DONE

“Leave your disabled best friend alone, completely in the dark, forever. ” DONE

It wasn’t enough, all the sweat, the struggle, the pain wasn’t enough for him- was it? Youngbae had seen first-hand how everything was set into place when he and Jiyong arrived in Seoul. How Jiyong had let his dreams win, time and time again- thinning him out to almost nothing. Stripping him of what used to be the wonderful, boyish and daredevil Jiyong to a meticulously shaped star, one that would shine without exhaustion, carved with sharp edges with the intent to stun the audience and to say yes to fame, say yes to what he thought he wanted.

Jiyong stopped in the hallway, scaring producers passing nearby once Youngbae screamed his name, echoing in the hollow building. 

“Listen up first, please-” Youngbae groaned as Jiyong slowly turned to him with a frown. “We should do as he says; you know what he’ll do,” he whispered to him in a defeated voice. His friend laughed bitterly at him. “Jiyong, have you forgotten what we did to him? You think that he’ll forgive us all those years ago, huh? Because I know he wouldn’t. I know that he’s still hurting- ”

“You think I don’t know that?” Jiyong yelled, his voice cracking and shaky as Youngbae stood back, startled. Daesung peered at the both of them, silent and watching, just like he always had done. He was at the office earlier with both of them, but he didn’t utter a word once the C.E.O. was speaking to them about his plan on luring their old friend into the company.

“You think I willingly agreed that I’d leave Seunghyun, ghost him, willingly listened to all the voicemails and texts, and willingly declined his calls?!” Jiyong lashed out, ignoring the people surrounding them in the hallway. Anger was the only thing left coursing through his veins; his dream brought happiness and unleashed so much anger, so much hatred to himself that he had never thought would reflect so much in his life to the point he had lost his only anchor, his only love.

“Daesung knows I didn’t. You, out of all people, should know that I didn’t,” he breathed out. “Hyung, I still don’t think we should just easily call him…” Daesung suggested, his voice gentle but distant. This company wasn’t only fucking up everything Jiyong had lost, but also the people who were holding himself together.

Jiyong huffed, “I’ll handle it, don’t worry. I’ll talk to him.” he decided. Youngbae scoffed and angrily stormed past him, bumping his shoulder in the process. Jiyong was used to that- everyone getting angry with him. Whether it was his PR team, the boss himself, or his friends. But it was ridiculous that he could withstand the yelling, the scolding, everything- if only it was coming from his person, Seunghyun.

Daesung’s gaze softened at his decision as he approached him slowly. “If he decides to answer your call, can you tell him that I’m sorry?” he asked gently, his voice soft and fragile. Jiyong’s eye twitched. “We’re all sorry, aren’t we?” he whispered hoarsely as Daesung’s shoulders slumped, and he wrapped his thick arms around Jiyong’s small frame. Back then, Jiyong and Seunghyun were taller than the both of them, but now Daesung and Taeyang practically towered over him ever since they trained together. He wondered if Seunghyun stayed the same height, too.

Tears prickled within Jiyong’s eyes, and a few slid down his pale cheeks and onto Daesung’s shirt. A few employees tried to comfort Jiyong, but he would shrug them off and let Daesung tell them to mind their own business. That their star will be okay.

“It’s gonna be okay, hyung,” Daesung muttered into his scalp, and Jiyong wished it was true.

────────────

“Right over here is a wonderful exhibit of multiple phenomena related to the heavenly bodies,” Mrs. Kang introduced with a lively voice, hand-stretched to the room as the crowd started piling in. Seunghyun watched intently at the crowd talking amongst themselves about the art he had presented around the room. Some were even taking pictures, and his heart practically swirled around inside his chest with delight.

“They’re enjoying your art, Seunghyun-ah!” Mrs. Kang squealed excitedly as she patted him on the shoulder. Seunghyun could feel the blood rushing to his cheeks. “I know,” he breathed out. “Thank you again for this wonderful opportunity,” he thanked her with a genuine smile as Mrs. Kang nodded at him. “It was a delight to have helped you, dear,” she replied smoothly.

Seunghyun had left Mrs. Kang’s side to roam around the exhibit for a while. He made sure he was beyond any crowd to avoid disrupting their analysis or conversations about the art laid out in front of their eyes. Art that was made by his hands and created from his own emotions, whether it was birthed from sadness, longing, or anger- it all made it here, in this room where his dreams came true.

He was zoning out as he looked at his work as a pair of teenage girls approached him excitedly. One had short hair, and the other had longer hair with bangs. “May I help you?” he asked politely as one of the girls nodded. “Are you the boy in the video going around online, the guy who’s friends with Taeyang?” the short-haired one asked excitedly before her enthusiasm was quickly diffused by her friend who bumped her on the rib by the elbow. Seunghyun chuckled at the pair, “She was also wondering if you were the one that made all of this?” she quipped cleverly. 

Seunghyun nodded. “Yes to both questions,” he said honestly.

He watched as both girls’ grins widened. “You’re super talented then, sir, singing, rapping, and art?” the short-haired girl exclaimed excitedly. Seunghyun waved his hand dismissively. “I wouldn’t say super talented, but I’m known to dabble in multiple things; art was just my forte,” he explained to them as the long-haired girl ‘ooh-ed’ in fascination.

“May I ask about the story behind that one, then?” she asked, pointing to one of his works that displayed a crescent moon in a blank canvas. Seunghyun’s chest tightened at the reminder of the emotions behind it. “Why ask me if you could figure a new interpretation for my art yourself?” he offered politely as the girl frowned in turn. “As much as I’d love that, sir, I was sincerely asking your story behind it- if that’s okay,” she explained.

Seunghyun exhaled through his nose. “ ‘Lunar Loneliness’ was a canvas about a time that was difficult for me. As you can see, it’s only a moon on a black and empty canvas right?” he began to explain as the short-haired girl nodded, “I was wondering about that,” she pointed out as she looked over her friend who was too invested in Seunghyun to notice.

It reminded him of how Jiyong used to look at him like that.

“The moon, floating by itself, shows loneliness and isolation to the point that there were no longer stars surround it because it showed stubbornness of wanting to stand alone and shine over Earth as the only source of light during nighttime. It doesn’t show an unwanted loneliness, but a loneliness that was desirable for the moon at the time,” Seunghyun explained gracefully as the girl before him had eyes that twinkled in wonder.

He had never seen such fascination for his art before and his stomach did a flip of excitement. “Woah, you’ve star-struck my friend,” the short-haired girl joked as the other girl slapped her on the shoulder. “God, Ji, why are you so embarrassing?” she whined as she ushered her away while thanking Seunghyun.

What a cruel coincidence that her name, or maybe nickname, had to be Ji as well

Seunghyun went through all kinds of physical training and therapy to get his leg back to normal. He was back to his normal physical wellbeing now, but somehow a fragment of himself was still stuck in that moment. The moment where everything collapsed, where Jiyong’s precious knees were scraped, and where Seunghyun’s love had failed his self. The night he became collateral damage.

Crossing the road was meant to be easy, or at least it was easy back at Gangwon. Seoul traffic was on another level, and Seunghyun hadn’t prepared himself for it. He was holding a canvas under one armpit and a tote bag of materials slung around the other shoulder when ahead of him was a path of white lines. He was just trying to get through the godamn day. Why wasn’t Hyorin beside him now? Because she went back for the callback about the auditions for a movie. The timing could’ve been much better but who was he to curse at time and fate itself when he has been doing that over and over again, but nothing seems to change.

Time and fate didn’t have a caring soul for what was going to happen to Seunghyun at that very moment.

Dread took over him in the form of sweat, beading on his forehead, hands trembling at the sight of the sign lighting up as he scrambled himself together and walked ever so slowly, along with the stampede of people crossing with him. All walking at the fastest pace, but the pink-haired man only walked slowly and cautiously, staring at the cars with a terrified expression.

His heart was drumming frantically in his chest, but before he could break down as the terrified wreck that he is, someone tugged harshly and pulled him by the arm, forcing him to walk quickly with the other. The man pulling him had his hood pulled over his head, and he couldn’t identify the guy. Once they were on the sidewalk, the guy didn’t seem to wait for a thank you from him to leave, already walking the other way. 

“Wait!” Seunghyun found himself yelling as he ran to catch up with the stranger. Seunghyun didn’t know why he had called after him. But he felt an irresistible pull from somewhere towards him, maybe it was his impulsivity acting up again. The stranger didn’t move his head an inch, but despite his speed, Seunghyun was able to catch up with him. “Hey, don’t pretend you’re deaf. I just wanna say thank you,” he said, blocking his path with the canvas in his arm. The man was wearing a black face mask to match his overall aesthetic, which was the color black. “Jeez, you Seoul people have no manners,” he muttered. 

The man looked at the ground. “I’m from Gangwon.”

Seunghyun raised his eyebrows in glee. “Hey, really? I’m from Gangwon too, we must be neighbors or something-” he stopped his rambling once he saw green hair peaking out from his hood as the short man lifted his head to face him.

It was the green hair he first saw, but then his eyes landed on the stranger’s set of catlike eyes. His heart dropped at recognizing them as the ones he imagined every night before going to bed. Seunghyun shook his head, assuming he was imagining things. “Well- thank you for, um, helping me out there,” he said with a nervous chuckle as the stranger’s eyes thinned, indicating that he was smiling. “No problem, hyung.” he said.

Because of that one simple line, the dam of unattended memories came crashing down over Seunghyun.

“Great, hyung, that’s good- I missed you.”

“No! Hyung - just say what you want, don’t try to fucking act like the mature one because you always end up just lying to yourself!”

“You’re good-looking, hyung. ”

His eyes widened as his eyebrows furrowed and his jaw opened, stunned at the realization that this was no stranger, but the love of his life. He felt all things coming down at once, there was anger, sadness, and longing. Everything came thrashing around inside of him all at once, he almost made it obvious that he caused a stir in his brain. Longing came first; anger and sadness could come later, he decided, directly disobeying his unspoken promise to Hyorin to not let them in so easily. 

“Jiyong?” Seunghyun managed to whisper, like a myth coming alive. Jiyong didn’t pull his mask down to reveal his face but instead winked at him. Heat overwhelmed his chest at his gesture that signified a part of Jiyong that he missed too much. “Since when did you like pink?” Jiyong asked with a grimace. “Hyorin thought that I should dye my hair for a change. I picked pink,” he told him as he crossed his arms. Jiyong raised a brow with a condescending look. “No way, you’re dating Hyorin,” he stated as Seunghyun shook his head.

“I kissed you during high school after Youngbae’s party. You think I’d date Hyorin?” he stated with a slightly offended tone and Jiyong was stunned by his boldness. “Oh, right,” he muttered.

It’s like he forgot about you , a voice in his head echoed amongst other thoughts.

“Now you decide to show up?” He said, half-heartedly. Half-joking, half-serious. Jiyong didn’t pick up the serious half. “I needed to talk to you,” he said to him with slight urgency. Seunghyun looked around as he fought the urge to argue yet hug Jiyong all at once. “I was just heading home. Let’s talk there,” Seunghyun muttered to him as he started walking.

The walk towards his apartment was quiet, Jiyong looking focused and Seunghyun quietly wondering what might have possessed the man to show up after all these years. What was so necessary to him that he felt the need to appear in his life once again? 

As soon as Seunghyun set down his tote bag by the couch and his canvas near the TV stand, Jiyong slid all of the curtains in the apartment shut, dimming the room further. He raised a brow at him as he slid off his hood and snatched off his face mask, shoving it inside his jean pocket. Seunghyun’s heart throbbed at the sight of him; his face was thinner, and despite looking perfect, he could tell that he was tired.

“Someone could take a picture of me and y’know-” Jiyong muttered pathetically. “Right, you’re famous now,” Seunghyun bristled, shoving the desirable thoughts of Jiyong as the shorter man frowned at his attitude. “You’re sour. I see not much has changed,” he snarked as he sat on the couch, Seunghyun sitting beside him. 

“Fame turned you into an annoying brat,” Seunghyun shot back as Jiyong’s eyes twitched. He sighed heavily, hands fidgeting with each other, and Seunghyun could see the cogs turning and creaking inside his brain. “I’m sorry,” he murmured to him, “I just- we… I let everything get to me. We all did, and that was wrong of us,” Jiyong added sincerely, looking up at Seunghyun and reminding him of how good it felt looking into his eyes. “I need to hear it from them then; don’t speak for them,” he muttered bitterly as Jiyong tilted his head with furrowed brows. 

“Seunghyun, don’t do that,” he sighed as Seunghyun shook his head. “No, Jiyong. Don’t do that,” he said. “The three of you cut me off after promising me that we’d stay friends, that you won’t get carried away with whatever happens here,” he spoke bitterly with a soft voice that cut through Jiyong’s soul like sharp knives. Seunghyun glared at him furiously. “I cried myself every night, hoping, wishing that you’d call, you’d visit- any of the three of you!” he whined in a shaky voice.

Seunghyun huffed as he buried his face in his hands. Jiyong’s trembling hand reached out to his shoulder, instinctively rubbing his hand against it. Seunghyun stood up with tears in his eyes. “What do you want now, huh?” he yelled shakily, tears streaming down his cheeks. “I put my shit together and made it here myself, no thanks to you,” he spat as Jiyong shook his head, lips beginning to tremble as he reached to hold his hand but Seunghyun pulled away from him. “Seunghyun-” he began, but he shoved him roughly, “You left me alone like you never cared. You didn’t , did you?”

Jiyong was now reduced to tears as well, “Hyung, just listen to me, please-”

Seunghyun hated how his heart ached when he called out for him. How his heart yearned for him despite everything he did. 

His chest was heaving up and down frantically, he tried catching his breath while trying not to linger on Jiyong’s crying. “I didn’t want any of it to happen. I just did what everyone was telling me to do to achieve what I had worked so hard for the past few years!” he wept, pointing to himself as the tears slid down his neck.

Jiyong inhaled shakily as he approached Seunghyun. “I’m sorry. I regret everything. I wanted to call you so many times, and I should have ,” he sobbed. Seunghyun watched him as he wiped his tears with his own hands, “I realized how stupid this was because they fucking sent me out to lure you in for an audition,” he chuckled sarcastically as he shook his head, “I won’t convince you, I’m just here to say sorry,” Jiyong croaked out as he heaved a deep sigh.

“What if it costs you everything?” Seunghyun asked in a quiet voice. Jiyong looked at him. “I don’t care, I can find a new label, I can do the same shit I’ve endured for the past few years, just not there anymore,” Jiyong mumbled.

Seunghyun didn’t know what to say because the only thing he had noticed so far from how sincere and desperate he was was that he was so skinny . Seunghyun reflexively grabbed his hand and measured his wrist with his hands. “Did they tell you to eat less, too?” he asked bluntly as Jiyong pulled away, sniffling.

“None of your business,” he muttered,

“It kind of is since I’ve already forgiven you,” Seunghyun tutted as Jiyong’s head shot up from looking at the floor. His tear-stained face glistened with hope. “Seriously?” Jiyong stammered. “Six years, Jiyong. You have to make it up to me for those six years that you’ve left me,” Seunghyun said, retaining his composed expression. 

Jiyong made a relieved sound as he embraced Seunghyun’s torso. Seunghyun forgot how much he had longed for this moment, how much he wanted to feel his arms around him and it made everything inside of him quiet. He wrapped his arms around his shoulders and cradled his head with his hands, fingers raking through his green hair.

“I missed you so much,” Jiyong whined as Seunghyun felt his arms tighten around his torso, planting a kiss on his scalp. “I love you,” he heard himself say. He was about to take it back when he noticed that Jiyong didn’t pull away. Seunghyun leaned back to look at him properly. “Is that okay, me, loving you?” he asked softly, his heart drumming inside his chest in anticipation.

Seunghyun didn’t know why he expected a verbal answer from Jiyong, knowing that he was good at surprising him. Jiyong pressed his lips against him and pulled him closer by the waist. Everything inside Seunghyun stirred in pleasure as his hands cupped his face, tilting his head to deepen the kiss. That was enough reassurance for Seunghyun; Jiyong did love him after all this time. 

Jiyong pulled away, looking into his eyes with sincerity and whispering the next words like a promise that Seunghyun knew he wouldn’t break: “I love you more.”

────────────

DECEMBER 2014

The four friends returned home to Gangwon the week New Year’s Eve would fall. Hyorin and Seunghyun were delighted yet surprised their plan had gone so well that Daesung was convinced Hyorin voodooed fate to their will. 

“Why the hell do you think I can do voodoo?” Hyorin seethed at Daesung playfully as her cheeks glowed bright red from the alcohol, “You just give off the vibe!” Daesung admitted playfully as he shrugged while Youngbae cackled with amusement. “Oh, haha , Taeyang-sshi,” Hyorin retorted as Youngbae drunkenly laughed further at her joke.

Jiyong had rented out a place to celebrate their reunion before they’d celebrate New Year’s Eve with their families. It was small, but it was big enough to fill the place with their drunken laughter and reminiscent conversations. They sat around the dining table where they finished dinner and moved on to alcohol, not wasting the hours of the night.

“Why did you guys have to drink so much?” Jiyong groaned as he pinched his nose. Daesung pointed at him accusingly, “Big words from someone who invited your juniors to a college party!” he sassed back as Jiyong took a sip of his soju. “That was one time!” he replied sassily as Seunghyun laughed, wrapping an arm around Jiyong affectionately. “Jiyong’s right, guys, we should probably wrap up,” he told them as Hyorin abruptly stood up, pointing at Seunghyun with an offended expression.

“Look at you! Being all up and all over Mr. GD over here like you didn’t cry over him for month- YEARS -” Her slurred teasing was interrupted by Youngbae’s hand over her lips. Daesung laughed at them, slapping Jiyong’s shoulder in amusement as the three of them watched Hyorin and Youngbae wrestle each other pathetically. 

Seunghyun looked over at Jiyong; hearing his laugh up close sounded beautiful. He watched as his eyes glistened in joy and his mouth curled up into a grin that showed his teeth. The sight gave him satisfaction as warmth overwhelmed his chest with infatuation. 

Seunghyun finally felt at peace with his star right by his side.

Their night slowly ended with Taeyang and Hyorin passed out on the couch and Daesung retiring to his assigned room. Surprisingly, Jiyong and Seunghyun were the soberest ones in the group, given their history.

Seunghyun had left Jiyong alone in their room as he got ready for bed to accompany Daesung for a while after a nagging feeling at the back of his head that he was feeling left out earlier. He entered the room with a glass of water, Daesung raised a brow at him, “Is something wrong?” he asked as he took the glass of water, taking a sip from it.

Seunghyun shook his head as he sat next to Daesung on his bed. “Nothing, just came to talk,” he replied, and the other nodded with a look that said he wasn’t convinced of Seunghyun.

“Besides Jiyong, I missed you the most, you know?” Seunghyun told him, hoping to convince him as Daesung grinned mischievously. “Yeah, yeah- as if! ” he replied with mockery as Seunghyun laughed and shook his head. “I mean it, dude, you were there for me when they both left, remember?” he tried again, this time Daesung’s gaze softened as he nodded slowly. 

“We were there for each other,” he corrected him comically as Seunghyun wrapped an arm around him and squeezed tightly. “I’m proud of you,” he told him sincerely as Daesung let out a sigh. “I was so scared to reach out to you. I’m surprised Jiyong encouraged us too,” he told Seunghyun honestly, he playfully ruffled the younger man’s hair with his hand, “Asshole move to ghost me though,” he teased, earning a laugh from Daesung.

“I’m proud of you too, hyung,” Daesung said pointedly with a goofy smile. “I always knew you’d follow us,” he joked, and Seunghyun smiled in return. “Thank Hyorin for that,” he said as he crossed his arms. “Believe it or not, the plan was to take the three of you back, but… it became a success-revenge thing,” Seughyun explained with a shrug. Daesung hummed, “That sounds so much like Hyorin,” he pointed out as Seunghyun nodded in agreement.

Jiyong was already half asleep by the time Seunghyun entered their room. He climbed to the mattress next to him and wrapped his arms around the other man’s torso, sleepily pulling him closer. Jiyong turned around to inch his face closer to his neck, softly planting a kiss there.

“You’re still awake?” Seunghyun asked in a low voice.

“A bit,” the other yawned,

Seunghyun let out a deep breath after he inhaled his scent from his scalp. Jiyong softly laughed under his breath. “God, you’re being a creep,” he whispered as Seunghyun hummed amusedly. “Shut up,” he whispered as his hands rubbed his waist comfortingly. There was comfortable silence in the air of their room, sleep taking over Seunghyun in the darkness as Jiyong admired him in the dull room; the curve of his jaw and the outline of his lips and his closed eyelids, embracing the sight of him for the first time in a long time during the quietness of the night. 

“I can finally sleep well,” Seunghyun huffed into his hair. “Why were you gone for so long?” he murmured in his sleep, making Jiyong smile in the dark room. “I’m staying with you now, don’t worry,” he whispered in reply like a promise as Seunghyun shifted in his arms.

Jiyong vowed to himself that very moment that he would never leave Seunghyun again, deciding that there was nothing the universe could give him that was worth more than the moment he was in right now, with Seunghyun around his arms in all his vulnerability and comforted soul. Jiyong realized he never needed fame, never needed a career to shine, all he needed was him.