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Samarie has always been strange.
Well, outside of the stalking and the hyper obsession with me, I mean more of a general strange.
Maybe it's because she grew up in what I presume to be literal hell, but from my understanding of what she's shared about the little childhood she got to have she's always been... What some might consider weird.
She's never had friends until recent, not out of choice. She was always awkward, Gods especially during the festival. To be fair the threat of dying loomed over all of us, but watching her attempt small talk was definitely poor. Half the time she would just leave mid conversation, though it never seemed out of purposely mean intent. It didn't seem to be anxiety neither, which I thought it was at first. But, she still does this now, even with people she's perfectly comfortable around. She's better at not just up and leaving while talking with someone but sometimes she still will wander off, either literally or in her own mind.
Though it's a different story whenever certain subjects get brought up. I remember one date, while we were at a coffee shop, I noticed a tiny moth on the table. I've always known she likes moths so I pointed the bug out to her. Which lead her to ramble and rant about different species of moths for about three hours straight. I have no idea how she managed to even remember this much information, I know she's read a plethora of books, but managing to maintain that much information and those many facts is honestly impressive. Dare I say I found it rather cute. She just went on and on, and I would've let her continue as long as she would've liked had I not had work that night! It's not just moths she's this interested by, neither. Despite her sickening past with it, she still finds the Gods fascinating. She'll study bibles and books, and we'll sometimes even stop by landmarks from decades ago while on vacations or trips. There's been times too where she'll read a book, typically romance more often than not, and obsess over it. The plot, the characters, and on rare occasions the author. She'll research it for hours, coming up with her own ideas at times, even to the point where she puts Karin to shame with her book critiquing. Granted Karin is more focused on books based off fact and reality, not so much vampire romance or forbidden love.
She'll also do these weird, repetitive motions. I noticed this especially when she's nervous, which is... Literally ninety percent of the time. She'll twiddle her hands together, folding the fingers back and forth, moving her palms up and down. Or she'll start twirling her hair, or more unfortunately pulling on it. I've been trying to tell her to stop that, and she's been doing good, but it seems like an unconscious thing. She doesn't realize she's doing it. It's not necessarily harming her, but when she's really upset she'll start subconsciously ripping chunks of her hair out or scratching at her arms. Not as punishment to herself, but.. Like she's trying to get an uncomfortable itch out. At least that's how she described it to me. I noticed these types of breakdowns mostly happen when we're outside the house too, the worst of them being if we're somewhere loud and bright. She told me she can't stand the lights and noise, it feels like every single part of her body will burst, and that the world starts caving in on her. I've tried to help her get over it like you would with someone who's shy or has a phobia, but I realized it was doing more harm to her than good so I stopped. Now we have a system where she'll tell me if she needs to leave or step out somewhere calm for a while, but again she slips up sometimes. I don't blame her, afterall she's only human. I don't expect her to be perfect, fucking hell it's far from the most bizarre actions she's done. I'm also not concerned for her mental well-being as again she doesn't do this kind of harm to herself on purpose. All I can do is calm her down if it does start happening, and that helps well enough.
These repetitive motions aren't all bad. Whenever she's really excited she'll do this thing where she flaps her hands. I never pointed this out to her out of fear. I don't want her to get embarrassed and stop, it's charming! One of my favorites of these repetitive motions, however, is when she does them using me. Sometimes while we're cuddling she'll take a curl of my hair and gently twirl it around. Or sometimes she'll just start feeling my skin. At first I thought she was coming on to me, which made me a bit alert for a second. But before I said anything, I came to realize it wasn't a sexual act. She just seems to like the feel of my skin, which is honestly kind of sweet. Despite weirding me the hell our at first.
As much as I love her, and as smart as she is, she doesn't understand most things. Not at first. She's a bit of a slow learner with certain things. Cooking and art she picked up super quickly! Yet she doesn't seem to understand how paying for bills and such works, though who can blame her. She's still barely learning how to drive, and with her physical condition she scares the crap out of me sometimes, but I stay quiet so I don't discourage her. She barely even understands how registers work. She gets nervous walking up to them, and whenever she is working on the rare occasion she's told me she's panicked multiple times over not knowing how it functions. None of this makes her any less smart, and I remind her of that. I mean for Alll-mer's sake she knows certain spells that haven't been used in centuries! She just learns differently.
For some of these I figured it was her upbringing maybe, but the one odd thing about her that convinced me it might not be is her reactions and thoughts on certain textures. She once had a whole break down because she didn't like how a pair of pants felt on her, claiming it was "itchy" and she couldn't handle it anymore. Or that time she made a bit of a scene because her and Henyrk got into a debate over food. Being a cook, he's very passionate about food, especially well made food. Samarie doesn't give a damn how good it is, if the texture or color is slightly new or different from anything she's tried before she usually won't touch it. The only time she does is if I ask her too, usually in a flirty way to soften her up even more to the idea. She simply can't say no to me, why not have some fun with it? Though, if it's anything she really doesn't trust, she won't even try a bite for me. I can't blame her too much, though, I'm happy she tries what she can. She does seem to really like sweets, though. Anything with cake or ice cream she is far more willing to try. She also really loves toast. Just toast with honey on it. She ate that for almost a week straight and nothing else. The same goes with clothes, she usually wears outfits for days on end. Maybe it's her lack of energy, but even when she's having a great week sometimes she'll just wear the same outfit. Maybe even wash it if she has the energy just to wear it longer.
All of these things are considered weird, maybe even freakish, to certain people. Though honestly, it only makes me more drawn. Even if she's weird as fuck, she's.. Cute. Different. It makes her more understanding too, as admittedly I can occasionally be the same way, just a bit less noticeably so. I'm not sure what it is that makes her odd like this, but I like the way she is. Besides, I like weird girls.