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“You want to go in, too, don’t you?”
Izuru stares at the cradles. He was born from something like these. His was a lot more extravagant, though. And a lot more painful. He doesn’t remember much from before his birth, but he remembers the pain. “That won’t be necessary.”
“I…I wasn’t asking if it was necessary.” Chihiro’s voice softens, and he taps his fingers together. “I wanted to know if you wanted to. Everyone else is going, and it’ll be lonely out here alone.”
“Not everyone else.”
Izuru is no fool. He’s aware that Enoshima’s sister has been masquerading as her for who knows how long, and he’s equally aware that Enoshima hasn’t felt that she personally has been invited. He’s unsure if Matsuda has told her to stay away – if he had, she would jump in just to cause them trouble – or if he’s simply chosen not to bring it up at all. The latter would be the better decision. Neither of them tend to make better decisions.
Chihiro’s brow furrows. “I thought everyone was….” His face scrunches up, and his head tilts to one side as he considers it. Izuru can see him counting through their classmates, mentally ticking them off as he tries to figure out who isn’t joining them. “Yasuke and Miaya aren’t, but they’re alumni, so—”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“But—” Chihiro sighs, and he looks up. The gears in his brain turn and shift, and he returns to the original topic, as expected. “I’m sure the others would love for you to join us.”
“They won’t notice my absence.”
“I will.”
Izuru glances down just enough to meet Chihiro’s eyes. He considers it for a moment. “I’m not sure your creation would bring me into the program. It might bring the boy I was before. That would be confusing for everyone.” He sets his hands in his pockets. "So, as I said before, it won’t be necessary.”
“I’ll just make some adjustments.” Chihiro turns away from Izuru and immediately begins typing notes onto the nearest computer. “Yasuke knows a lot more about memory than I do, so he’ll be able to—”
“It isn’t important.” Izuru places his hand over Chihiro’s, pausing him. “I won’t go. I don’t mind.”
Chihiro looks up at him. “I mind. It isn’t fair if you don’t go because you can’t go.”
“You’re insistent about this.”
Chihiro nods. “Everyone should be able to come if they want. If you don’t want to come, then…then that’s different. But you should have the option to come. If you want.”
Izuru meets his eyes. Big. Round. Innocent. Like a lamb’s, perhaps. (Tanaka would not appreciate that comparison. Chihiro likely wouldn’t either.) “I do not want anything.”
“Then you should come.” Chihiro offers him a small smile. “I’m sure someone will be able to teach you how to want something. Maybe Celestia! She’s very good about wanting.” His gaze shifts. “Although I don’t think you’ll want the same things.”
izuru doesn’t laugh, and he doesn’t smile. He doesn’t feel warmer or colder. In point of fact, he doesn’t feel much of anything.
But this time, he doesn’t say no – or that it isn’t necessary or not important – and he lets it be.