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I love him , his soul sings. As sure as the sun that rises upon the restaurant, as easy as a knife in his practiced calloused hand, as constant as the way he’s known Kaoru since before he comprehends the presence of time. Like it’s always been him, that pink haired fucker who threw him off the swing 23 years ago and has been messing with him ever since, in more ways than one. And he wouldn’t have it any other way, as said menace seated peacefully on his usual spot, scorn in his face as he nurses the wine like it had killed his entire bloodline. Kojiro doesn’t dare say what the thrums of his soul wanted to. So instead he says,
“What, the wine wasn’t expensive enough for you, your highness?” as he put the plate of his love’s favorite dish down. A creamy, golden plateful of spicy carbonara — which despite being one of the favorite menu in Sia La Luce, it was created to cater his best friend’s tongue that somehow became a self-proclaimed representation of how authentic Italian food should be made for the entire Okinawa’s local tongue — now sits between Kaoru’s graceful sage clad elbow.
“I said I want red,” he then pauses. “And guess I shouldn’t trust a brainless ape like you, because this is cherry wine,” the calligrapher scowls, his peach tinted brows almost collided as one on his forehead.
“Oh , deal with it. I’m running out. I have a restaurant to run, you know? My winery isn't exclusively for your freeloading needs.” Kojiro spoils him too much these days, his more expensive stocks are currently running thin so he hopes his haughty mess of a friend can handle cheaper fruit wine for now. When Kaoru just stares at him unimpressed, he carries on.
“I mean,” Kojiro snatches another glass, takes the bottle from inside the bar and sits on the chair next to his dear rival, pouring it halfway to the top. “It is red, right? Or is your screentime from programming all night long has been catching up to you? Oh right, sorry big bro, I forgot you’re the old man.”
“I’m only three months- it’s not what red wine means, you imbecile!” Seriously, Kojiro can picture huffs of smoke coming out of his nose at this point. It’s fun to mess with him sometimes — well, all the time.
The thing is, despite appearing somewhat mysterious and sharp to other people — scary and cold to those who have witnessed his casual wrath like those skateboarding kids — Kaoru is an open book to Kojiro. He wouldn’t admit it, but for the longest time, his soul bared itself open for Kojiro to build dictionaries of every clues, corners, and turns of his whole being. Well if that’s too dramatic, it’s probably just because Kojiro had known him for too long. With that in mind, Kojiro notes how his — beautiful, sexy, alluring, juicy- fuck — lips is casting a bit lower than his usual frown, his eyes doesn’t light up as much as he usually does when he finally gets a taste of his favorite food after a long day, and he doesn’t often make that much of a fuss about what kind of wine Kojiro generously served him. Booze is booze, even though he has his own preference. Which kind of makes Kojiro worry.
“Think of it as a little surprise,” the chef winks, carefully arranging his words so he can be at the same level of cautiousness as Kaoru. “What’s with the commotion anyway? You don’t usually care that much of what kind of drinks I give you. For free, at that. Also, eat your food by the way, I’m not going to hear you complaining about how it’s gotten stale and cold.”
“Fuck off,” Kaoru swears once more before going head first in the carbonara. Ah, of course he refused to tell him what’s wrong. Classic. This is page number one with red bold letters on Kojiro’s ongoing dictionary of Kaoru.
“Careful idiot, your hair’s going to put my spaghetti to shame,” Kojiro chuckles as he takes a stray of pink that hovered over the plate to the back of his ears.
My god I fucking love him, his traitorous head speaks again. An angel — or perhaps the devil — on his shoulder rolls their metaphorical eyes as to metaphorically say ‘shut the fuck up, simpleton’ . Though that angel sounds too similar to the pink guy who is now inhaling his carbonara.
“What did I tell you about staring at people when they eat, dimwit? Go checklist your inventory or something. Stop blabbering all over me.”
Yup, something’s definitely up with him. On normal days, he wouldn’t even let Kojiro back to the kitchen easily with all his talks and bickering. For someone so reserved, Kaoru — at least with Kojiro — is quite chatty. Now he’s kicking Kojiro out of his own dining room? Talk about being mysterious and unreadable.
“Well if you stop fuming around for no reason I’m not going to bother you at all, four eyes,” Kojiro rolls his eyes and tries again. More direct this time. All their raucousness aside, when one starts to get serious, the other will take it seriously no matter what. “What’s going on, Kaoru? You’re pissy as hell. More than usual,” which says a lot he wants to continue. But again this is a serious Kaoru-Kojiro talk so he puts that aside for now and pours himself more wine instead.
Kaoru sighs before answering. “It’s just today’s exhibition. The venue that the sponsor arranged is outdoor in the worst heat possible. Carla’s projector was barely able to function perfectly before she overheated and I was sweating bricks . The free calligraphy give outs they made me do for the charity campaign is overloaded with nagging ass old- you were there!” he snaps, all while gripping his fork so hard he could bend it if he wanted to.
Now that Kojiro thinks about it, he did see the calligrapher’s exhibition today. It was meant to be a charity event for one of his client’s company programs. During the one hour break the chef had before preparing dinner service, he made some time to have a little hang out with two girls from the mainland he casually hooked up with some time ago. They were in town and would like some company, they said. Though on the way to the cafe they were heading, he saw Kaoru’s exhibition. He remembers how the girls was curious to check it out, but Kojiro took a quick look at the impending long queue and Kaoru’s slight furrow he could only interpret as irritation — the heat, he was sure — and told the girls they wouldn’t have time to hang out if they’re waiting on the line. Not to mention dealing with the sponsor’s donation procedure. They had agreed, but Kojiro mostly did it just so he didn’t add more work for Kaoru’s tired hands. Though it’s not the first time his entourages got interested in Kaoru's exhibitions when they passed it, he decided to skip it for now. Turns out the pink haired man saw him from afar, afterall.
“Oh you did see me. The girls actually wanted to see your work but the line’s too long so we dipped,” Kojiro shrugs. When it comes to inconveniences like this — even with the most insufferable client — Kaoru’s mood usually lightens up by the time he’s able to relax, put the resting bitch face back on to his face, and eat his favorite carbonara. But it seems like the more Kojiro pushes about it, the more prickly he becomes. There’s something still troubling him that he’s not telling Kojiro. And he probably knew that Kojiro knows that, but still pretends like it’s nothing anyway.
“Of course you didn’t, horny gorilla. Bet your dick’s too eager to wait in a fucking line. Useless ape,” Kaoru mutters under his breath as he finishes the last of his pasta, though he doesn’t look much interested in it anymore. It’s too muffled for Kojiro to catch clearly, but he can pick up the familiar insults.
“What’s that?”
“Nothing.”
“Something’s still bothering you, I’m just saying,” he knows it won’t work as easy as that, so he downs the rest of the wine and pours the last batch into both his and Kaoru’s glass. Kaoru keeps his mouth shut, opting to calmly sip on his second glass in an aloof tension.
“Well, thank you for the meal,” Kaoru says sternly with a shrug all of the sudden, as he gulps the last sip of his wine before turning around to leave with urgency in his steps. Ever so problem avoidant Kaoru. Like it’d kill him if he just stayed a little and let Kojiro ease him a bit more.
He was about to unplug the Carla board when Kojiro — frowning with a head clouded with don’t leave, please don’t leave yet. Tell me more of what’s bothering you, let me in, make me understand, let me— stands up, creeking the chair foot as he turned and grabbed Kaoru’s sharp wrist.
“What now, clingy gorilla?!” Kaoru frantically tries to pry his hand away from said gorilla but as strong as his punches had gotten over the years, his grip can not compete with Kojiro’s, ever. “Let go of me I’m-”
As he blabbers in irritation, Kojiro takes a step forward until the space between them is almost nonexistent. Then with his big, big arms he carefully wraps his arm around the other’s waist and tugs. The sheer strength throws Kaoru back and lands him on the absolute brick wall of a chest that is his long-live rival. “W-what the fuck?” He hisses, splotches of pink blooms on his ears and neck.
“No,” Kojiro says, trying to be stern for no fucking reason. The hand on the other’s wrist is now placed on the shoulder. Though firm, he keeps his touch light. Like he would let Kaoru run if he really wanted to.
And sweet, beautiful Kaoru, even scowling and complaining, doesn’t move an inch. The fact makes Kojiro smile discreetly. Though the thought of if someone were to see them from behind Kojiro, they would probably not see Kaoru due to their difference in…volumes — despite Kaoru not being small like at all — is making Kojiro dizzier than any amount of wine.
“Are you fucking drunk?! What the hell?” With this position, Kaoru’s yell kind of roars right next to Kojiro’s ear and he flinches a little, but this is nothing strange, just the wine making it a little..headach-y.
Well, Kojiro has to admit he did pour himself a little more wine than he did to Kaoru. In his defense, today’s dinner service was a bit more hectic than usual. Then he’s faced with the most beautiful creature on earth scowling and frowning while he has to keep his overfilled feelings at bay. So yes he deserved that. But he’s not drunk, it would take him a lot more than that. He’s just a little dumb when faced with Kaoru, as always. Most times it’s just picking stupid fights but something in his guts tells him to push this time.
“No. Stay.”
“What do you mean no?! I-”
“Stay. Tell me.”
“Tell you what?!”
“Tell me what’s bothering you-”
“It’s nothing! I said before already-”
“Would you please just let me-!” A skip in his heartbeat, a hitch on his breath. It feels like his body’s about to burst out of its cage just to latch himself on Kaoru like this forever. God, what is wrong with him? “Kaoru, please, let me help.” Let me in.
The thing is, as stated before, Kojiro loves Kaoru like fucking breathing. But ever so generous Kojiro is always too scared of his affection becoming something that suffocates Kaoru. That man already has too much on his plate, too many things that restricts his lungs. Kojiro would instead use the unforgivable amount of love one could ever have for their best friend to make his heart beat a little calmer, to make his breaths come out as easy as adoring him.
He can’t say all that, so he just drops his heavy head on his love’s shoulder like he always does whenever one of them gets too overwhelmed to go on. Old habits die hard, even all of their acts of antagonizing each other. He can feel Kaoru’s tense shoulders sagging against his broad chest but he can’t see how his ears get even redder before a minute that feels too short passes and Kaoru grows taut again. While Kojiro’s taken aback by the sudden movement, his back straightens and with fist clenched on the Carla board he speaks up with wavering composure.
“It’s- no. I’m tired, Kojiro. Let me go home,” Kaoru huffs, somehow his face gets redder as he keeps his head down so the other can’t see. Kojiro would kill — he has a name in mind — to know what’s on his best friend’s stupid head, but he doesn’t want to push him if he doesn't want to. He knows Kaoru always has his own limits. Though it was unusual for Kojiro to not know what’s bothering the other and it kind of bothers him that he doesn't but he’d let Kaoru go.
“Alright, alright. Sorry, I was…um,” now that he reluctantly unhands Kaoru, he realizes how fucking pathetic and absurd his spontaneous act is. They fight, that’s how they express an ‘I’m okay, we’re okay’, and they talk about worries when they’re not. A few hugs and head on shoulders won’t hurt but possessive, demanding arms around one’s — sinfully slim — waist is not on the table. It’s quite out of hand, even Kojiro’s ‘brute’-ness and expressive way to show affection. But Kaoru with his sour mood surprisingly doesn’t mind. Or at least if he does, he doesn’t show.
“It’s fine, I’m going now. Goodnight, Kojiro.”
“Yeah, goodnight four-eyes…”
Then there he goes again, dumbfounded as Kaoru walks away. The cogs of his brain whirring tirelessly as he watches the other’s back before blurting out,
“Wait. Let me clean up, a bit,”
“And what does that gotta do with me, stupid? Do your thing.”
Kaoru is halfway out the door when Kojiro finally says, “No, actually, let’s head back together. Just, wait a minute.”
“I am not riding anywhere on your horrendous old thing of a bike,” Kojiro is anything but believing its bite. He knows Kaoru’s feet’s probably sore — though not as much as Kojiro’s — from today and his cheapskate ass can not pass a free ride even if it means hopping on the backseat of the bike Kojiro’s been using since high school.
“Don’t be a dick now that you have Carla. You used to have a similar one back then,” it’s true though. Before he even came close to making Carla, a similar old motorbike originally owned by Mr. Sakurayashiki used to park next to Kojiro’s everywhere. “Besides, you wouldn’t survive running late to school without that bad boy picking you up.”
Kojiro smiles in reminiscence as he collects the dirty plate and glasses on the bar, while Kaoru closes the door while muttering a grumpy ‘fine, be quick’ and sits on the closest dining chair. It doesn’t take long for Kojiro to clean up, thankfully his staff has already got everything done before Kaoru came. So he only has to put the dirty dishes away and exchange his chef attire for a regular biking jacket.
“Alright! Let’s go, Kaoru.”
❀𖤓
The ride is quite placid minus the hassle of getting on the backseat in a yukata, but nothing they’re not used to. Kaoru’s house is a joint building on the back of the calligraphy studio, so a direct entrance to the house means entering the next street down. The studio itself is known to be quite spacious, due to the business’ expanding recruits & apprenticeship, so one can tell how wide the Sakurayashiki residence might be. Fitting in the neighborhood full of traditional leaning houses but standing out due to its bright exterior. Even inherited from his parents, Kaoru’s sure to make his hard earned work shows, adding personal touches to make it his home. Though over the years, in the 10 minutes distance it takes from the restaurant and 6 from Kojiro’s apartment, it has become his home too.
Maybe the fact that there’s Kaoru in it is the main factor, but he’s had enough of lamenting his pathetic heart as of now.
“The exhibition was quite successful, I give you that,” Kojiro says as they round the corner to the destined street. Still testing the waters if Kaoru’s still fuming lava out of his mouth or the night air makes him feel better, only to get an ambiguous hum. Either it’s the ‘it’s alright, I guess’ hum or a ‘I don’t want to fucking talk to you right now’ hum, Kojiro can’t tell exactly though. Hell, maybe his own voice was drowned out by the breeze and engine. So he continues. “How did you see me, though? There were so many people.”
“Yeah you think anyone wouldn’t notice a rock piled of stupid muscles anywhere? That’s why they just came flocking on you like rabbits in heat and you fucking take it like a greedy, cockbrained you are.”
Okay…definitely still fucking pissed. But what’s with the insult? Again, nothing new but that one just seems…personal. Honestly Kojiro just wants to get out of here right now before he dampens the mood even worse but he probably wouldn’t be able to sleep not knowing what’s going on and holding onto every word Kaoru said.
“What- hey, I was just asking, you douche!”
“Well let me fucking stop you right there, moron!”
“Fine! We’re here now! Jesus, what’s gotten into you?” Kojiro, now scowling as well, stops the bike and motions the other to hop off it.
Kaoru scoffs as he struggles to get down. “Well I was about to say what’s gotten into you but i guess i’m not supposed to be surprised with someone who place a brain in his dick-”
“Where the hell does that come from?”
“Your mother’s ass, meathead! And goodnight!” the calligrapher shouts as soon as he gets off the bike, without giving a chance for the other to say anything. Then he mumbles to himself as he walks to the front door. Supposedly to himself and Kojiro aren’t meant to hear it but he does anyway. “Thanks for ruining my day, brainless ape.”
At that, Kojiro — who's supposed to just bolt out of there and save himself — can't help but calls it out. Frustration creeping in his body like a molten flame, it’s one thing for Kaoru to be all prickly and moody and not telling him the problem but making it Kojiro’s fault is another.
“Hey, I heard that! What does that gotta do with me!”
Kojiro doesn’t like being angry, and he especially hates being angry at Kaoru. But he needs to set some things straight, even his heart burns with ache he desperately tries to put out. So he hops off the bike as well and follows Kaoru down the gate. He can tell that Kaoru didn’t mean to say it out loud, he looks surprised himself for slipping up like that. “What’s your problem? You keep on going with the exhibition and me and the girls. Is it the fact that I didn’t come like I usually do even with companies. Am I right? Tell me why you were-”
“No, you imbecile. It’s nothing for your little brain to worry about. Quit humoring me about the exhibition you don’t care about. Good luck for the next date, or something. Now for the last time, goodnight .”
“Wait, that was your problem, am I right? Well- it wasn't even a date! I didn’t fuck them like you were trying to believe. We were just hanging out like, y’know, people who have friends and connections. Why am I even explaining this? What does that gotta do with you? You didn’t care what I did with my girls anyway. Why now you suddenly making all the fuss like I’m a brainless slut who only thinks with my pants! You know me, Kaoru,” Kojiro exclaims breathlessly, his ever so amiable features twisted into simmering rage. And against his will, really. He hates being like this to Kaoru. Though he tries to catch his breath, putting a break from spilling out things he’s not supposed to say in a fit of rage. Like ‘why won’t you love me?’
Kaoru stares at him in disbelief. Kojiro knows the rigid and ugly thoughts are now creeping all over his mind and Kojiro wishes he didn’t say all that. Now all the rage morphs into a self-loathing landfill that resurfaces sporadically in times like this.
“Kaoru, I’m sorry, I-”
“Yes I do, I really think I know you, but you don’t-” his voice trembles as he interjects Kojiro. Eyes heavy on the other’s, challenging yet cowering like a brave deer upon a wolf. “...know me. You don’t know what it’s like to have an irritating day already then saw someone you really want to see at that point, only for him to fucking leave with girls in his arms like I’m- my exhibition not worth your interest and time you could use on doing god knows what!”
“Kaoru…”
“You brought your…girls…into my exhibitions before. Today you did and decided to walk off anyway, how am I supposed to interpret in any other way?” He hangs his head low now, curtains of pink hair veiling his face away from Kojiro. He fights away the urge to lift that gorgeous face by his chin, instead he puts his mind at work to decode Kaoru’s words.
He’s…what?
“What- how do you even come up with that conclusion?” Kojiro says, trying to be as calm as possible, careful not to make a bigger bridge between him and his best friend. “You said before you were tired at that point and I saw that! I saw the ungodly amount of people waiting for you so when the girls said they were interested I made excuses so we’re- I’m not putting more unnecessary work on you. Hey, I was trying to be nice!”
He can help it. The thought of Kaoru thinking he’s not more important than the people he casually hangs out with puts a bile in his throat. So he barrels on, “I just didn’t think you’d seen me. Didn’t know you wanted to, either. I still don’t,” a glimpse of insecurity oozes out of him and at this point he’s just want to make sure what Kaoru’s been feeling is nothing out of the ordinary and get the fuck out of here, preferably to crawl under the sheets and die. He’s now watching Kaoru taking a counted combination of breaths, a common recurrence when things start to get out of his hands. Kojiro finds himself doing the same. He was about to soothe his best friend when said man chuckles bitterly.
“Oh you big, dumb oaf, of course I see you. I see you fucking everywhere! I see you so much it makes me sick. Hell, I see you even when I’m alone and I think I’m going fucking crazy because even when I can’t see you, this senseless, moronic brain you infected on me just keeps on wishing you were there so I can see you again! How’s that make you feel?” Kaoru doesn’t cry, at least not as easily as he used to be when they were children. But Kojiro can feel a dam’s been broken by his own hand and his best friend is holding a long-suffering repression in between his flaming golden eyes, choking on his breath.
“And…and I hate seeing you not with me. I think- no, that is the worst part because I get it that you set your eyes on so many people. It’s just that…I want you to see me, that’s all. But I know that’s too much to ask for, so-” as if in a great shame, Kaoru holds his head even lower, practically curling into himself in the middle of a quiet street by the entrance of the house. Kojiro desperately tries to read his face but to no avail, the loose ponytail is the only view that he’s allowed to see. In a quieter rumble, the love of Kojiro’s life rambles on.
“The exhibition can fucking burn, the line can stand for a mile but all I need is-” you, I need you. I need to see you. I need you to see me too. This time, Kojiro knows how to decipher the next words Kaoru’s long standing self preservation unable to say. Because Kojiro feels it too- oh.
Oh.
Okay. Kojiro feels like slapping his own face right now to wake himself up, but Kaoru can’t see the breakdown from under his hair so he continues anyway, still trying —and failing— to be somewhat evasive about it.
“But all you do is be nice to me when I- that’s the problem with you. You're too nice to me. Your signature dishes are based on my palate, for fucks sake, you take care of me more than I ever wanted you to. And you keep on giving me these…ambiguous signals. Like earlier. But you never…see me the way I see you.” his voice was so quiet, the cacophony of the wind chime next to the front door almost drowned it. Oh yeah this…this is it? This-
“Hey Kaoru, if I’m not reading this wrong can you please let me in first?”
“What d- I spill all my guts to you and you-!”
“Inside, precious. I’m not feeling like waking the grandma next door tonight.”
“You- why should I let you in?!” Kaoru grumbles, blooming red butchering all of the rage in his beautiful face. God, he’s so cute when he’s mad. Despite the fuss, he commands Carla to unlock the door.
“Because you want to see more of me,” Kojiro teases, quickly following Kaoru to the genkan before he could close the door on his face. He slides the door shut behind him, then faces the completely puzzled expression his love is making. “Isn’t that what you were trying to say, princess?”
“Get out of my house this instant.”
“Wait-”
“If you’re just going to make fun of me-!”
“Okay, okay! I’m sorry, but wait-” he knows that if he continues further, Kaoru’s anxiety will rear its ugly head and take all control against his will. He looks like he’s about to explode if Kojiro doesn’t explain himself in the next second. “Kaoru.”
“What?”
“You think I’m just being nice to you?” Kojiro says, voice as gentle as he can muster. Familiar fond smile crawling across his face.
“You’re a monkey-brained moron but I would be worse if I didn’t know how infuriatingly nice you are. That’s a matter of fact, I’m not in the mood for boosting your ego right now.”
“Well,” with every word he just said, Kojiro takes a step forward and closes the distance between the two of them. Now, inches apart, Kojiro’s calloused hands tucks the fallen pink strand off his best friend’s eloquent, yet confused face. “I am nice to everybody. But I wouldn’t go this far if I’m merely just being nice to you, Kaoru.”
“I just wished one day you would think of me as more than someone who’s nice enough to deal with you.” The hand falls to cradle Kaoru’s jaw, thumb stroking his cheeks just so and now, in the dim light of automated Carla-powered lights, Kojiro can see cherries coloring each speck of his beautiful face. “Please tell me once again, Kaoru. Tell me I’m not reading this wrong.”
“I’m not even sure what page you are on right now, Kojiro.”
“I’m in love with you,” Kojiro says as he tugs his best friend’s face closer, placing his lips on the other’s temple ever so softly. Whispering even though there are only two hearts that witness. “As simple as that, really.”
As he pulls away, he can now see the golden wide eyes behind those glasses, staring at him as if he never considers it a possibility. That Kojiro is ever able to love Kaoru. Well, that’s fair. Kojiro couldn’t even afford to dream of it either.
“Kojiro…”
“Yes?”
“How…long?”
“A long time. Probably highschool. Can’t exactly pinpoint it.”
“Oh you stupid, dumb gorilla!”
“Yeah, whatever- oh.”
Kojiro was so intoxicated by the look on Kaoru’s face that he didn't realize the fist collecting the collar of his shirt until it jerked him forward, colliding their lips in a very eager way that is so Kaoru. Kojiro didn’t dare to imagine how his best friend’s soft lips would feel, slotting against his but he does know now. He tastes as bitter as cherry wines can get, and as sweet as it can be, too. He gets light-headed from thinking how perfectly cherry that is. How good it waters down Kaoru’s whole being into something that melts on his tongue. And how he’s had the same wine but it doesn’t leave the same saccharine. His soft lips presses demandingly on Kojiro, a mixture of passion and longing of two lovers separated by the galaxy and fighting against time, and the gentleness of knowing someone for as long as you can remember. Thin, pale mauve tissues pressing against plump one so flawlessly. Where have we been all these time?
“Kaoru- hey- Kaoru,” Kojiro pants heavily, as he pulls away and watches his best friend — are they still, now? — subconsciously chase his lips, though quickly gains composure as he realizes his inner thoughts speaking too loud. Did he ever say Kaoru looks fucking cute when flustered? He’s making that revelation now. Watching those sinful pairs of skin glassy with spit and puffy from the intensity of the kiss.
“Shut up, dickhead,” says the man whose face looks like it’s about to explode, tucking his face down low as he punches the other’s chest not-so lightly. “Still doesn’t explain why you’re always out and about with everybody but me .”
“Ohh, is our Cherry jealous?”
“You imbecile-”
“Listen, bean sprouts. If I’ve ever had any idea that you might ever look at me differently I wouldn’t have stuck myself to a habit of casuals. And that’s all about it, casuals. They all know my feelings are off limits, I made sure of that. It’s just that I have my needs and I just…wanted to have fun, I guess,” I had to make up for all the things I want to do to you but can’t, he wanted to continue, but decided not to. Not yet, with the line between them still as fragile as 23 years holding on to a string.
“So you’re just using them for…?”
“No, not like that. God, I’m not an asshole, Kaoru.”
“You are.”
“Fuck you, anyway, my point is that they have needs, I have too. It’s just something that you do while you still can, you know. Live a life to the fullest? Though not expecting your prude ass to understand.”
“Oh you son of a bitch.”
Kojiro laughs. He reminds himself to tell Kaoru about how a lot of people he hooked up with knows how besotted Joe is with his best friend for 20 something years. It’s an open secret, really. But he saves it for another time, for now. If Kaoru gives him another.
“But, now it’s on you, Kaoru. I’m yours if you’re willing to let me be.”
“I see that you can talk big now, idiot. You have no idea how tiring it was standing on the sidelines thinking you’re into everybody but me. How scary to think that one day you’ll go on with your life, settle for one, and outgrow me,” he says shamefully, staring everywhere but the other’s eyes. He’s opened raw, like every thick stitch he had done to protect himself falls apart by a single touch of Kojiro’s hands.
“Oh, Kaoru,” Kojiro cups the other’s cheeks then, forcing their eyes to meet. “I almost have no memories of my life that doesn’t include knowing you, growing with you. Why should I stop, any other time.” The worry lines in Kaoru haven't faded completely, but Kojiro knows now that they’d have a lifetime to fix it. There’s a silent exchange that doesn’t need to be said, a single promise to break off the remnants of another old, dead love spell casted upon his love. I’m not him.
But there’s his gaze, so familiar but so new now that Kojiro knows the meaning. He realizes that between those golden flames that look up at him, there’s an insurmountable affection that matches his own. Open fire that never runs out of its fuel, now blazing brighter as the torches collide. To love is to see, and to be loved is to be seen.
“I- don’t fucking look at me like that, Kojiro!” Kaoru exclaims, cutting himself off with redder cheeks as the other’s arms fall around his cotton clad waist.
“Say it, I dare you,” he coaxes, before earning another punch on his chest but this time the fist relaxes and lingers there. “Just kidding, you don’t have to rush-”
“I love you, you dumbfuck, sweaty, piece of shit!”
“I hate you too, four eyes.”
“Now do you want to continue kissing me or are we just going to stand here all night?!” g ood god, never a boring day with Kaoru, Kojiro thinks as he wraps his hands on his lover’s thigh and kisses him lightly.
“On it, princess,” He can feel Kaoru’s smile as they kiss, sweet as ever as his arms wrap themself around Kojiro’s neck. “Gonna show you what you’ve been missing out on.”
“Oh shut it!”
❀𖤓
“Tell me what was that earlier, in the restaurant,” Kaoru says as he snuggles closer to the other’s bare chest, closing his eyes.
“Oh that’s…um, well. An impulsive decision?”
“Well, your impulses nearly gave me a heart attack, stupid gorilla,” Kojiro can tell he’s rolling his eyes just by his voice alone, even if it’s smothered on skin.
“Says someone who was so jealous he became a sulky cat.”
“Carla, turn off tomorrow’s alarms until 10,” says the sulky cat. Completely ignoring his best friend slash boyfriend as nonchalant as he can with a flushing neck visible from Kojiro’s line of sight.
“Yes, Master,” the AI answers obediently as ever — Kojiro still can’t refer to it as ‘she’ as much as his prissy princess insists — and in response, Kojiro lets out a soft laugh. His arms encircle the other’s bare waist lazily, as much as he wants to now that he can . Even a bonus kiss on the crown of pink won’t hurt.
“I love you, pinky,” his soul sings. Aloud now because he’s allowed to. And he feels another mouth echoing it on his skin as he closes his eyes.