Chapter Text
The afternoon at PK High School drifted by as peacefully as ever—at least for someone like me, Saiki Kusuo, a guy who just wants to live a quiet life, free of drama, with a steady supply of coffee jelly within arm’s reach. The sunlight filtered softly through the classroom windows, birds chirped merrily outside, and the faint aroma of drip coffee wafted up from the cafeteria. It was the perfect day to do absolutely nothing. But life’s never that kind to me, especially when you’re stuck with superpowers and a bunch of weirdo classmates who won’t leave you alone.
While I was busy daydreaming about my next coffee jelly fix, the school’s self-proclaimed “perfect” girl, Teruhashi Kokomi, was clearly up to something—and I already knew what. Today, she was sporting a shiny new hair clip (I couldn’t care less, but the guys in class were oohing and aahing like they’d just struck gold). Her glossy blue hair cascaded down in a way that was “accidentally” oh-so-artistic, and her smile? Bright enough to melt an Antarctic iceberg—or so the drooling idiots around me thought.
I knew exactly what was up. I always do. Reading minds is one of my most annoying powers, and right now, Teruhashi’s head was buzzing with smug confidence:
“Today’s the day I’ll make Saiki-kun gasp ‘Offu!’ at my perfection. No one can resist me!”
I sighed internally. Sorry to break it to you, Teruhashi, but not only can I resist you, I’d happily teleport a few blocks away to avoid you altogether. Of course, I didn’t say that out loud. Talking just invites more trouble.
The day might’ve stayed nice and quiet if it weren’t for Toritsuka Reita—self-styled “spirit medium” and guy who’ll flirt with anything that breathes (and sometimes things that don’t, like ghosts).
Today, during a rare moment when no one else was around, he came bounding over with a goofy grin, clutching something that looked like an ancient, dusty talisman covered in cobwebs. I gave it one glance and turned away. Nope. Not my problem. Leave me alone.
But Toritsuka, whose superpower is apparently annoying people to death, charged right up to me.
“Saiki-san! Check this out—I found something awesome!” he yelled, shoving the talisman in my face like it was some national treasure. “They say it’s an ‘Ancient Charm of Attraction,’ dug up from an abandoned temple. If I activate it, I’ll be a total chick magnet! Help me test it out, come on!”
I stared at him, not even bothering to open my mouth. Help you? For what? So you can harass more innocent girls (or ghosts)? Hard pass. But then a thought hit me: if I don’t deal with this now, he’ll follow me around all day like a lost puppy. Fine. Let’s get this over with so I can have some peace. I reached out, ready to use my powers to figure out if this “charm” was legit or just some random junk Toritsuka picked out of a dumpster.
Right then, Teruhashi—ever the master of “accidental” perfection—sauntered over to me with all the grace of a Hollywood starlet. Her voice chimed like a bell, her eyes sparkling like they’d been CG-polished to death:
“Saiki-kun, could you explain yesterday’s math homework? I’m a little stumped…” Meanwhile, her inner monologue was screaming: “This is my golden ticket to make him notice me!”
I didn’t even get a chance to shut her down before her finger brushed the talisman—same time as mine. Cue a blinding flash of light and a loud zzt like someone just blew a fuse. I squeezed my eyes shut on instinct, and when I opened them…
…Everything had gone completely off the rails.
I glanced down at my hands. Long, dainty fingers, pale as snow, nails trimmed to perfection. A cascade of silky blue hair flopped into my face, so soft it ticked me off. I reached up to touch my head—no glasses, no psychic-control antennas. Instead, I felt skin so smooth it was downright ridiculous. Hold up. This isn’t my body.
I whipped around to see “Saiki Kusuo” standing next to me—or rather, my body, now hijacked by someone else’s soul. “I” was grimacing, running a hand through my messy pink hair and muttering:
“Oh my god! How am I supposed to shine in… this average body? No way, I’ve got to do something!”
I let out a sigh—this time out loud, though it came out in Teruhashi’s annoyingly high-pitched, sugar-sweet voice. Fan-freaking-tastic. Now I’m not just stuck with my powers, but also this attention-grabbing Barbie doll look?
Meanwhile, Teruhashi—in my body—didn’t seem to grasp how deep we were in the muck. She looked shocked for half a second before straightening up, tossing my pink hair with a dramatic flair (which looked dumb as hell in my body), and declaring:
“Don’t worry, Saiki-kun! No matter what body I’m in, I’ll have everyone eating out of my hand! Watch this!”
I stared at her, deadpan. Quick as a flash, I grabbed my psychic limiters and slapped them on her—er, me—just to keep things from going full meltdown. Knock yourself out, princess. But don’t come crying to me when it backfires. Sure enough, as Teruhashi strutted off in my body with her “perfect” vibes, the whole class turned to stare. Not because she was stunning, but because “Saiki Kusuo” now looked like a community theater reject possessed by a diva.
Toritsuka, the genius who’d kicked off this whole mess, stood there gobsmacked, jaw on the floor. “Uh… I think that talisman’s legit. But, uh… my bad?”
I shot him a glare so icy it could’ve frozen lava (though in Teruhashi’s cutesy eyes, it probably just looked adorable). My bad? You’re gonna need more than a sorry to wiggle out of this one.
But before I could cook up a plan to deal with him, Toritsuka’s eyes lit up like a kid on Christmas morning. He zeroed in on me—or rather, Teruhashi’s body that I was trapped in—with a sleazy grin, rubbing his hands together like he’d hit the jackpot.
“Hang on, hang on! If you’re Saiki in Teruhashi’s body… this is my once-in-a-lifetime shot! Let me ‘scope things out’ a little—I’ve never been this close to Teruhashi before!” He leaned in, eyes gleaming with all kinds of bad ideas.
I didn’t even blink twice. Sure, I was in Teruhashi’s dainty little frame, but I still had all my psychic juice—and a truckload of pent-up irritation. I balled up a fist (which looked hilarious with her tiny hands), channeled just enough power to avoid breaking his face, and socked him square in the mug.
WHAM! The sound echoed, followed by Toritsuka’s shriek as he flew backward, slamming into the chalkboard. He crumpled to the floor, clutching his face and whining: “Ow… ow! How are you that strong in Teruhashi’s body?!”
I straightened up, dusting off my hands like it was no big deal, though Teruhashi’s syrupy voice coming out of me sounded all kinds of wrong: “Dream on, creep. Next time, I won’t go so easy.”
Toritsuka shriveled up like a scolded puppy, mumbling, “Alright, alright… I’m out…” Meanwhile, Teruhashi (in my body) spun around, eyes wide: “Saiki-kun, did you just defend my honor? Oh, that’s so sweet!”
I sighed again. No, I just wanted him to shut his trap. Don’t read too much into it. But watching “me” (Teruhashi) beam like a ray of sunshine in my body, I knew this day was about to drag on—and get a whole lot messier—than I’d bargained for.
And just like that, my peaceful day went up in smoke. Instead, I was stuck living a nightmare called: Life as Teruhashi Kokomi .
Good grief…