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“On one condition. Leave the city. Tonight."
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People, Raphael has come to realize, underestimate Magnus Bane.
When people see Magnus, they see a party beast. A superficial, selfish, material man of hollowed core. They see him as the sort of entity that glides through life, martini in hand, glittering away. They don't think him capable of letting go of his lifestyle─ the raves, the luxury, the drama, the glitter.
They are all wrong.
Raphael has known Magnus for decades. Since the moment he was turned. And he knows exactly what sort of person Magnus is.
Yes, Magnus Bane is selfish. Yes, he is a material person. He collects books, and antiques ─but more importantly, he collects people.
The thing is, that once you get close to his orbit, like gravity, he doesn't let you go. He pulls you in, and in, and in. Until you are caught in the eternal loop that is his life.
In hindsight, Raphael should have known better.
He had come with a purpose—to confess, to say sorry, and to say goodbye. Naïvely, he had hoped that things would turn out his way. That he would have a clean goodbye, and that Magnus would let him go.
So when Raphael tells him what he did to Heidi─the torture, the experiments, his errors... when he can't keep the tears out of his voice─even though he is a monster─as he tells him that he needs to go away, alone.
He shouldn't have been as surprised as he was by the look on Magnus' face.
Because instead of looking at him with repulsion. He looked at him with conviction.
Because Magnus Bane is a gravitational orbit, and he doesn't let things go.
The thing about him, the thing people forget, is that Magnus Bane has lived four lifetimes. He's seen his most beloved die, and be bad, and be good. He's seen them rise, and he will still be there when they inevitably fall.
Magnus Bane knows that morality only comes in shades of gray.
But also, people forget that attachment comes with age. Attachment to the vase, and that couch, and that one broken necklace you have kept the pearls of in a box.
So when he sees Raphael─ hurt, and scared, and so, so sad—for Magnus, that's almost worse than whatever sin he could have committed. It makes his blood boil and curdles a sick, twisted feeling in his gut.
Because Raphael is one of those people Magnus collected. Since the moment he was turned, Raphael was his. Magnus' son.
Su hijo.
To him, his son comes first ─before whatever shade of dark gray line they are walking.
He knows he is wrong to think like that. Bad actions need to be punished. But when he sees Raphael, turned so young ─still so young─ not even a century old, lips trembling, eyes puffy—he can only see his darling boy. His to protect. His to raise. His to love.
Raphael may want repentance, a punishment for his sins. He has always cast himself a monster. May think he deserves exile.
But Magnus?
Magnus thinks exile is too cruel, too drastic, no matter how fair. To leave Raphael alone,after his relapse, after he was tortured, after his sister just died? He thinks not.
Magnus knows, of course that what he did to that poor girl was wrong. It should be unforgivable.
It really should be.
But he saw Raphael's leg after he tried to hide it.
He saw the fear in his eyes when he told him what happened on the rooftop.
And if he’s being honest with himself—completely, painfully honest— he sympathizes with Heidi, yes. He understands her hatred, her thirst for vengeance.
But Magnus is too selfish not to hate her a little—a lot—for what she did to his son.
Because Magnus knows Raphael; has known him for a long, long time. People see a cold hearted-demon, but he has met the really sweet boy that lays beneath his sarcastic and better-than-thou façade.
Face of an angel, soul of the crankiest person alive.
But the heart?
Heart of saint.
And saints always martyr themselves.
Raphael lied to him—about the tranquilizer. But Magnus saw his eyes, and they hadn’t lied.
Rosa’s nearing demise had weighed heavy on him. And Magnus knows that pain. He knows exactly what kind of pain comes when you realize you will find yourself truly alone. How it suffocates you, maddens you, makes you feel useless and out of control.
And Raphael—Raphael has never been able to let himself be without control.
Not even when he was first turned.
It doesn't justify what Raphael did. Magnus knows that.
But it explains it. And life is, after all, made of shades of gray.
So even before his boy finishes speaking. Magnus has already made up his mind.
But it's not until Magnus is almost kneeling before him ─hands steady on Raphael's face, eyes filled with something raw and unmovable─ the weight of inevitability dawns on Raphael.
He knows, before Magnus speaks, that whatever he says next will destroy him.
“Artic City is beautiful this time of the year”
Magnus says it like it’s nothing. Like it’s normal. he could even be mistaken as bored.
Raphael knows him better, has known him for too long, and he knows that voice. It’s the voice Magnus uses when he’s being subtle. When he’s about to make a stupid, impossibly selfless decision.
And that tone alone terrifies him
"Night lasts up to ten months there. And the booze is really good, I have heard."
And even though Magnus doesn't say anything else, Raphael has known him for long enough that he can read between the lines. He understands everything in what isn’t said.
And what he does understands makes him feel dizzy. Like he is short of breath and the Earth has tilted on its axis. Before he knows it, he is shaking and his hands have taken place on Magnus' lapels, as if the touch of them alone can ground him. The words are there, heavy on his tongue, like sand. But they don't come out.
He is mortified by the fact that he can only stare at Magnus. Horrified. In awe.
"Darling, I hope you knew ─coming here, to me─ that you wouldn't come out alone"
Magnus' voice is unwavering. Calm in that way that Raphael finds so infuriating. For a moment, Raphael wants to grab him by the shoulders and shake him. How could he be so calm when Raphael feels like he’s lost all sense of gravity?
"I raised you, Raphael, and any sin of yours is also mine. So if you have to go away, then so do I."
Magnus cups his face, locking his eyes with him so gently, so fondly . He dries a bloody tear from his eyes, and it's only then Raphael realizes that he is crying.He tries to look away, but he can't.
"You have been living a half life, my darling. You can only enjoy the night, you need to shut yourself away during the day. You have been robbed of so many experiences, Raphael, and not just the sun. No cinemas. No amusement parks. Not even an ice-cream parlor.”
“But there, Raphael─there you could have all that. I could give you all that. Because time doesn't matter to them. They live the same at two in the morning as they do at six in the afternoon. And you can enjoy so much more there. I have wanted to take you there for so long, darling. “
“But I knew you weren't ready. Not with Rosa still alive. But now... now I can give you all those things. Ice cream. Book clubs. Movie theaters. Everything"
Raphael squeezes his eyes shut. He's shaking harder. Magnus is supposed to hate him. That would be easier. That would be fairer. But instead, Magnus is holding him, stroking his hair, and speaking as if Raphael is still someone worth saving.
"So let me give you this. Let me give you this life, Raphael. Please."
Raphael can’t breathe. He is supposed to be alone. He has earned that exile a thousand times over. He doesn’t deserve to have Magnus. Doesn’t deserve to be saved after everything he has done
His lips tremble. He knows he is piercing them with his fangs, but he finds that he can’t stop. Pain is the only thing that feels real right now.
“I’m not sixteen anymore, Magnus,” he snaps, voice raw. “You can’t keep solving my problems for me. What I did was wrong. I need to leave, alone, its only fair. I was thinking of going to Detroit.”
He swallows, trying to get back some of his usual composure.
He couldn’t lose it ─not now. Please, not now.
The need to leave hits him —sharp, overwhelming. It makes his skin itch, it chokes him. He needs to get out. Now. Before he breaks again.
Before Magnus sees right through him. Like an open book written in all capital letters.
He moves to leave—but Magnus catches his arm. Gently closing his hand around his wrist.
The touch is so light yet he can't stop the flinch that courses through his body
“Detroit?” Magnus hums, tilting his head. “Terrible weather. My hair would be a disaster”
Raphael stares at him, as if he’s been struck. And then—he feels his blood boil.
How dare he.
How dare he still joke right now?
He tries to rein it in, “I am serious, Magnus, this not a joke”, but it comes out sharper than he meant it
Magnus smiles, and the light of the spider glints on his beaded necklace
“So am I, sweet boy”
He freezes.
He should have known.
The pull.
Always the damn pull.
“Why? “ His voice shakes—fragile, tired. “Why won’t you hate me? Why do you always try to save me?”
“Well, sweet boy—no. Raphael. That’s because I love you, of course.”
He chokes on a sob, curling in on himself. He has tried so hard to be strong. He just wanted to say goodbye and go away with as much dignity as he could manage─ but Magnus… Magnus has always had a way of twisting Raphael's plans.
“No,” he chokes. “No, no, Magnus, no, please. I can’t—You can’t. Your friends, Madzie and Catarina, and—and your house, you can't leave it. What about Alec? You won't leave him, right? You can't. You love him."
His voice cracks. It startles even him—how desperate he sounds, how small.
He’s grasping at straws, and he knows it.
But he can't seem to stop himself. He knows he must look crazed to Magnus. Magnus has that look on his face. That heartbroken, soft look. And Raphael sees the moment the resolve crumbles. The moment being apart is too much. For both.
And suddenly Magnus has a lapful of a crying vampire. He hushes him softly, leaving kisses on his hair.
"Shh, darling boy, it's okay," he whispers as if Raphael is precious, but he isn't, he isn't.
"I am so, so old, darling, what is a few decades to me? Catarina too, they would understand. I wouldn't be surprised if they moved next door in less than a few years. We are like that. Besides─ portals exist for a reason, you know? It's only a few seconds from one place to another,"
Magnus is rambling now. Scrambling to justify it all. He is trying to think of everything on the spot.
"And Alec, ─Alec will understand."
“What if he doesn’t?” Raphael whispers, voice barely there. “What if he doesn’t understand?”
The question seems to freeze Magnus for a split second. It's just a split second ─but its telling.
Because when Magnus thinks on Alec, his heart hurts.
But when he sees his son─so broken, his heart shatters.
Raphael has a really awful timing. Magnus can't help but think.
Just yesterday, Maryse had thanked him for loving her son. And the thing with the Owl, well… at least he wasn't the High Warlock anymore. That was Lorenzo's mess now.
He takes a deep breath.
He had even asked Alec not to go to Idris—not long before this. Selfishly, he’d asked him to stay. And now, here he is, already halfway to packing his own bags.
He lets out a quiet, self-deprecating laugh. How the wheels have turned.
His arms tighten around Raphael's shaking arm.
He has this wretched feeling that if Raphael walks out of here tonight, Magnus would deeply regret it. That they would never walk the same path again. As if Raphael would slip from his fingers like water─ and he won't be able to get him back.
He is not ready to lose Alec.
But would never forgive himself if he lost Raphael.
Magnus' fingers tremble where they rest against Raphael’s back, but his voice stays steady.
“Then he never loved me the way I loved him. ”
It's a lie. They both know it.
And it's the more devastating for that.
The words stab Raphael in chest. Twisting something deep inside him. Magnus has given up so much already. He doesn’t deserve to lose anything else. He doesn't deserve to lose Alec.
Not Alec who makes him so happy, who has been so good for him, not his friends, not the apartment he has spent so long making his. Not for him, not for Raphael.
He can feel Magnus tremble beside him. He is crying. The realization comes to him so suddenly that Raphael can't cope with it, and is as if a dam broke.
Raphael lets out a wail, sobs wracking his whole body as he clings to Magnus like a lifeline. He whispers desperate, broken apologies but he can’t even make sense of what he is saying. And Magnus, good old Magnus, just holds him tighter against himself until Raphael's voice is too low to be heard.
"I would be fine on my own,” he whispers. “You don't need to come with me,"
But it comes out so broken that even he knows it’s not real. Just one last, weak retort.
Magnus shakes his head, squeezing his arm, and Raphael falls silent. That’s it then.
They stay like that for what feels like infinite eternities. Raphael looks broken in Magnus' lap, eyes puffy and covered in bloody tear tracks. Magnus wonders how he had ever thought that Raphael was old enough not to need him anymore.
In the end, Raphael calms down enough to disentangle himself from Magnus' embrace, rubbing his eyes as if that would hide the fact that he spent the last two hours crying.
"You don't need to do this,” he murmurs “Could you even leave your apartment behind? Every antique in here is almost older than me, and I know you spent so much time making it your home."
''I want to," Magnus kisses the top of his hair. "Besides, who says I can’t take the whole loft with me? I’m a warlock. And it’s not like I’d leave Chairman Meow behind.”
"You are impossible, you know?"
And Magnus feels Raphael finally sink onto the couch beside him.
And somehow─somehow─it feels like things are going to be okay.
"I know."