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Buck put Tommy’s comments about Eddie being competition to the back of his mind.
It was stupid, to be honest. Tommy was an insecure asshole, and Buck was still pretty pissed off with his comments and assumptions. He didn’t call him, like he’d told Maddie, he didn’t really feel the need to apologise. Could he have made his point a little more eloquently? Sure, but he’d meant what he’d said, and he wasn’t going to apologise for that.
What he did do was call Eddie.
He purposely hadn’t called Eddie for the first two weeks after he’d left, partly to give Eddie time to adjust to life in El Paso, and partly because Buck had done a lot of moping around and hadn’t wanted his friend to hear how upset he was. He hadn’t realised just how good it would be to hear Eddie’s voice though.
Eddie had been ecstatic when Buck had called. He’d filled him in on what was happening in Texas, not much as it turned out, but Eddie was cautiously optimistic because at least Christopher wasn’t leaving the room when Eddie walked in, and Eddie had managed to get a few words out of him. In return, Buck had told Eddie about LA and how much everyone missed him. He left out the part about sleeping with Tommy. He didn’t need Eddie to know about his moment of weakness and even the thought of telling him made Buck’s stomach churn.
When that first call ended Buck had felt that familiar feeling of loneliness starting to seep back in. It had felt so good to hear Eddie’s voice but now he was here, in Eddie’s house, while his friend was hundreds of miles away. It didn’t feel great.
He’d started looking forward to those calls, which quickly moved from voice calls to FaceTime’s after they both realised they felt better when they could see each other’s faces. Buck had spoken to Eddie every day.
Which led to Buck standing in the kitchen at the station one week later, listening as Eddie told him about how he didn’t get the job with the fire station in El Paso because of a hiring freeze.
“Why the hell didn’t he mention that before the interview?” Buck asked, pissed off that Eddie had had to go through the whole interview process before being blown off. Eddie had been nervous but quietly confident and Buck had already resigned himself to the fact that Eddie would soon be getting a new partner who’d be watching his back now that Buck couldn’t.
Eddie sighed, leaning back in his chair. “I think they froze up after we talked.”
“So how long until they thaw?” Buck asked. Surely it couldn’t be that long? Stations were always in need of new hires.
“Could be anywhere from two months to a year” Eddie shrugged. Buck dropped the knife he was holding, lunch now forgotten.
“A year?” He repeated. A year wouldn’t work, Eddie needed money now. The house in El Paso had been more than Eddie could really afford; he’d been so desperate to find something that he’d paid the down payment without a second thought.
“I spent every penny to my name on a down payment for this house” Eddie said, echoing Buck’s thoughts, “I can’t go another six weeks much less six months without a pay check.”
“So, what are you going to do?” Buck asked.
Eddie hesitated, looking thoughtful. “Bobby told this Captain I’d always have a job at the 118. Think that’s true?”
Buck’s heart gave an involuntary leap. Yes! he wanted to scream, come back now, the 118 is your home, but that would be so unfair to Eddie who’d given up so much and made the most difficult decisions all for Christopher. Buck had to put his feelings aside and be a good friend. “What about Christopher?” He asked.
“I need to support him” Eddie told him. “At least when I was there, I could send him some money, and be a firefighter, which is the only thing I know he’s proud of me for.”
God, Buck hated this whole situation. Eddie had made one terrible, grief induced mistake and all the progress he’d made on his self-worth had taken several steps back. “That’s not true” he told Eddie.
“I just can’t bear the thought of seeing his face when he finds out I’ve failed” Eddie said miserably.
“You didn’t fail, Eddie” Buck said firmly. He wasn’t sure how Eddie hadn’t realised by now that Chris wasn’t proud of Eddie because of his job, he was always proud of who he was.
“I didn’t come out here to be an Uber driver, Buck-”
“Or a firefighter” Buck reminded him. “You went out there to be Christopher’s Dad.” He took a deep breath, “you can’t come back.” The words physically hurt to say, but Chris was the priority now, Buck would never put his own needs over Chris’s.
“What am I going to do, Buck?” Eddie asked quietly.
Buck had no clue, he felt helpless as he looked at his friend who looked totally lost and miserable. As he opened his mouth to try and comfort Eddie, the bell rang and Buck groaned, the timing couldn’t have been worse.
“Hey, Eddie, I’ve gotta go”
He watched Eddie’s shoulders slump. “Yeah, I know. Go, go.”
“I’ll call you later” Buck promised quickly and hung up so he could tear his apron off and race down the stairs to the engine.
He took his seat next to Ravi and met Hen’s eyes across the engine. “How’s Eddie?” she asked knowingly.
Buck sighed, slumping down in his seat. “Not great” he said, “he didn’t get the job. Apparently there’s a hiring freeze.”
“That’s a shame” Bobby said, twisting round to look at Buck. “Captain Morales was excited to hear more about him. Not much he can do though, unfortunately, whole country’s having to deal with budget cuts.”
“I know” Buck grumbled. “I’m just worried about him; he seemed so dejected. He loves being a firefighter, I think knowing he was going to keep doing the job he loved was making El Paso a bit more bearable.”
“He’ll bounce back” Chim reassured him. “It’s Eddie, it sucks but he’s with Christopher and that’s what matters right?”
Buck nodded but he itched to take his phone out and text Eddie to continue their conversation. He hated that he’d had to rush off. All he wanted was to give Eddie a hug, he knew he probably needed one right now as well as a few kind words.
As soon as they got back to the station, after an interesting call which resulted in free pizza, Buck sat in the locker room texting Eddie, promising once again that he’d call as soon as he could and reminding him that he was an amazing dad. Someone cleared their throat and Buck looked up to see Ravi standing in front of him looking nervous.
“Everything ok, Ravi?” Buck asked.
“Yeah” Ravi said, “just, uh, I realised I never apologised for last week.”
Buck frowned. He didn’t have a clue what Ravi was talking about. “Why do you need to apologise?”
Ravi rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “For leaving you with Tommy. That was a dick move. I know you had a shitty breakup, and I shouldn’t have just brought him over without checking first.”
“Oh” Buck said, surprised. It had never even crossed his mind to hold a grudge against Ravi for that, he and Tommy were two grown men who worked in the same field- they were bound to bump into each other. “You really don’t need to apologise. I don’t blame you for wanting to escape, I did force you out drinking with me and then just talked about myself all evening.”
“Actually, you mainly talked about Eddie” Ravi corrected. Buck felt his cheeks heat up. God, had he really? That was embarrassing. “I guess I got a little sick of all the Eddie talk” Ravi continued. “I love the guy but with Cap constantly calling me Eddie, and then you mentioning him in every sentence, I’d had enough. Doesn’t mean what I did was right though. I know you and Eddie have this whole thing going on and you must really miss him-”
“Hold on” Buck said, interrupting Ravi’s tangent, “what whole thing with me and Eddie?”
“Uh, your relationship?” Ravi frowned. “I mean I can never tell if you guys are broken up or back together but every time I’m put back on A Shift I think, man, those guys are so obviously in love.”
Buck forgot how to breathe. Ravi thought he was in love with Eddie too? What the hell was going on? How had he given off this vibe to so many people that he was in love with his best friend? His straight best friend!
Ravi didn’t seem to be aware of the massive bombshell he’d just dropped on Buck, and carried on speaking. “Anyway, I’m sorry. I’d like to start over, if that’s ok with you?”
“Yeah, man” Buck managed to croak out. “Water under the bridge. We’re cool, and I’m sorry too.”
Ravi beamed at him. “Great, we should go out again sometime. Maybe less of the drinking games next time though.”
“Good idea” Buck said, forcing a smile. Ravi clapped him on the shoulder and left the locker room, leaving Buck sitting there with his head spinning. He rubbed his hand over his face and shook himself, it didn’t matter what other people thought, Eddie was Buck’s best friend and that was it.
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He threw himself into work over the next few days to stop himself from overthinking everything. He kept checking in with Eddie who had sold his truck, bought a Prius, and registered as an Uber driver. He seemed more upbeat which Buck was relieved about. Their calls were filled with stories from Eddie about his passengers and how he’d learnt to provide what they needed from a driver. “They don’t like me talking” he said with a laugh. Buck had thought that that was their loss, he’d happily listen to Eddie talk all day. He loved when Eddie was really passionate about something and his face lit up, Buck was pretty sure it made him as happy as it made Eddie.
Buck was just hanging around the house on his day off when Eddie FaceTimed him. Buck’s heart dropped when he his friend sitting in his car looking like he was on the verge of a panic attack.
“Eddie?” Buck asked, feeling more than a little panicked himself. “What’s going on?”
“I just had a booking” Eddie said dully, “picked up a kid and his friend. The friend was Chris.”
Ah. Eddie had decided not to tell Chris that he currently wasn’t a firefighter which Buck knew wasn’t going to last. It was hard to keep a whole career change secret from your teenage son, particularly when you wanted him to live with you again.
“So, what happened?” Buck asked gently. “I’m guessing neither of you acknowledged the other one’s existence.”
Eddie sighed. “I mean, we said hi, but we led on like we didn’t know each other.”
“How did Christopher look?”
“Shocked” Eddie said, “with a hint of disappointment and pity.”
“Ouch” Buck winced. That was the last thing Eddie needed when he was trying so hard to repair things with Chris.
“I know I should’ve told him the truth” Eddie continued, “but I just couldn’t bring myself to burst the firefighter bubble.”
“It’s probably burst now” Buck pointed out.
“Thanks for that, Buck” Eddie said flatly.
Yeah, that might not have been the most helpful thing to say. “Sorry” Buck apologised. “What did you say to him afterwards?”
“Nothing. We haven’t spoken yet.”
“Eddie!” Buck groaned.
“I dropped him at his friend’s place!” Eddie said defensively.
“His head’s probably spinning” Buck told him, he knew both Diaz boys well enough to know that they both thought the worst and were reluctant to talk.
“I know mine is” Eddie said.
“You’ve got to call him” Buck urged, “text him! Kids are never too busy to text.”
“You’re right” Eddie said quietly. He groaned and hit the steering wheel in frustration. “I can’t believe I did it again! I got caught in another lie, my worst nightmare came true.” His mouth twisted the way it did when he was trying not to cry, and Buck was so close to booking the next flight to El Paso just to make sure Eddie wasn’t alone.
“No” Buck said, desperately trying to reassure Eddie, “your worst nightmare already came true. Chris left; this time you have a chance to face the consequences.” Chris didn’t have anywhere left to run but Buck wasn’t going to say that.
“I appreciate you, Buck” Eddie said softly. He hung up and left Buck staring at the black screen.
Despite the heaviness of the conversation, Eddie’s final words had left Buck feeling a warmth that he didn’t know how to explain. Just hearing Eddie say that he appreciated him made Buck’s heart beat a little faster, his stomach swooping in a not entirely unpleasant way. It was almost like having a crush, except he couldn’t, could he? He could not have feelings for Eddie. He sat down and let his head thump forward onto the kitchen table with a groan. He needed to talk to someone.
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Buck felt a little guilty as he rang the doorbell of the Han residence. His sister had been through a lot over the last few weeks, being kidnapped and having her throat slashed, putting her unborn baby’s life in danger as well as her own. Not to mention the fact that the ptsd had caused her to lose her voice and she’d only just got it back. Buck wouldn’t usually bother her, but he was spiralling, and Maddie was the only person he could talk to.
“I’d know if I was in love with Eddie” Buck said as soon as Maddie opened the door.
She stood and blinked at him for a moment before sighing. “Hi Buck” she said, “I’m great, thanks for asking. Why don’t you come in?”
“Sorry” Buck said, kissing the top of her head as he stepped into the house, “but seriously, Mads, I’d know, wouldn’t I? Like I’ve been friends with Eddie for seven years, I’d know if I was in love with him.”
Maddie walked towards the kitchen and Buck trailed after her. “I mean, would you?” she asked, opening the fridge and taking out a pitcher of lemonade. “You went on a date with Tommy and you were still calling yourself an ally. You thought checking out a hot guy’s ass was totally normal for a straight man.”
“That’s different” Buck argued, “that was me figuring out my sexuality. This is about me having feelings for my best friend.”
Maddie passed him a glass of lemonade. “Why are you suddenly so focused on this?” she asked. “Last week you were furious at Tommy and me for even suggesting it.”
“I was talking to Eddie earlier and afterwards I had some feelings that were maybe more than what you’d feel for a friend” Buck said carefully, “but I don’t know if it’s just because I’m missing him or if it’s something more.”
“Ok” Maddie said, “how does he make you feel.”
“Giddy” Buck admitted, “and insanely happy, like I feel like I’m at my happiest when I’m talking to him. He makes me blush, he makes me feel better instantly if I’m even the slightest bit down.”
Maddie raised her eyebrow. “You can hear yourself, right?”
Buck’s shoulders slumped. “He’s my best friend” he said weakly.
“Howie’s my best friend” Maddie smiled, “and I’ll tell you a secret, being in love with your best friend is incredible.”
“I’m not-” Buck sighed, feeling frustrated. “Even if I was in love with Eddie nothing would happen, he’s still straight.”
“You know better than anyone that your sexuality isn’t set in stone” Maddie told him, “I mean, if someone had asked you even two years ago, I bet you’d have said you were straight.”
Buck knew she was right even if he didn’t want to admit it. He was getting more panicked though, if he kept denying it maybe it would go away.
“Would it be so terrible to be in love with Eddie?” Maddie asked softly.
To Buck’s horror, he felt his eyes fill with tears. “It wouldn’t change anything” he said. “Even if I was in love with Eddie, and if he somehow loved me, he’s still in Texas. He left, and it was for a good reason, Christopher is everything, but he still left and I don’t know if he’ll ever come back.”
Maddie looked devastated by his words, and he had to look away, he couldn’t cope with her pity.
The sound of the front door opening made Buck jump from his seat. He wiped hurriedly at his eyes as Chim came into the kitchen, the smile falling from his face as he looked between Buck’s tearstained face and Maddie who was staring worriedly at Buck. “What’s going on?” he asked. “I feel like I’ve interrupted something.”
“I was actually just leaving” Buck said, trying to sound casual.
“No, Evan, stay” Maddie said, reaching out to touch his arm.
Buck shrugged her off and faked a smile. “I`ve got things to do, I’ll see you guys later. Give Jee a kiss from me!” He hurried out before Maddie had a chance to say anything else. He just hoped that she’d keep their conversation a secret from Chim.
He breathed out shakily as he sat in his truck. His phone beeped and he pulled it out expecting a text from Maddie. Instead, there was a photo from Eddie. It was a selfie of him and Chris, Eddie’s arm around Chris’s shoulders, both of them grinning at the camera. Buck laughed, tears spilling down his cheeks as he read the text below.
Eddie:
Turns out texting does work- we’ve had a couple of big conversations and he says he’s proud of me. Thanks for not letting me drown in my own misery. You’re the best.
Buck shook his head fondly. God, he missed them.
Buck:
Glad to see the Diaz boys back together! And hey, this was all you. I’m really proud of you (both of you!) <3
Buck scrolled back up to the selfie and traced Eddie’s face with his thumb. Eddie looked the happiest that Buck had seen him in a long time, and Chris looked so grown up. His boys, his family. Buck looked at Eddie’s beautiful smile and his stomach flipped again.
Yeah, Buck was 100% undeniably in love with Eddie Diaz. He was completely and utterly screwed.
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Buck was struggling. Since he’d accepted that he was in love with Eddie he’d been thinking back over every interaction they’d had in their seven years of friendship. Like, how hot and bothered he’d been when he’d first seen Eddie in the locker room and how he’d thought it was jealousy rather than attraction. And then the whole thing with Tommy. Buck had thought he’d been trying to get Tommy’s attention but now it was so obvious to him that it had been all about Eddie all along, Buck had just wanted Eddie to spend time with him. Tommy must have realised that from the beginning. The whole ‘competition’ comment made a lot of sense now.
If Buck really thought about it, he’d probably been in love with Eddie for years. Maybe since the first day he’d met Chris, after the earthquake, when he’d seen what an incredible, devoted dad Eddie was. He’d definitely been in love with him when the well collapsed. His reaction made a lot more sense to him now, he’d almost lost the love of his life. Now he was dreaming of kissing Eddie, having sex with him, spending the rest of their lives together. He’d wake with his heart pounding, feeling miserable every time he realised it was just a dream.
He knew his friends could tell that something was up. He was moping round the firehouse most shifts and Chim had asked him why he was avoiding Maddie. Buck tried to deny it, but there was some truth in it, he didn’t want to admit to Maddie that she was right.
The most important thing was that Buck was trying not to let his newly discovered feelings get in the way of his friendship with Eddie. They had a good thing going at the moment, Chris joined some of their Facetimes when he was with Eddie and Buck got to see his best friend start to relax. Seeing Eddie happy made Buck happy and that was all he needed. His friendship with Eddie was too important to risk. He could get over Eddie, soon he could forget he’d ever been in love with him.
It had been just over a month since Eddie had left, and Buck had a feeling that the progress that Eddie and Chris had been making had stalled which was why Buck wasn’t surprised when Eddie texted him on a Wednesday morning asking for help.
Eddie:
Know any good barbacoa recipes?
Buck chuckled to himself. Eddie’s cooking had improved significantly since Buck had first met him but he still asked Buck for help when it was really important. He had to be cooking for his parents which meant he was going to be stressed.
Buck:
You know I do! Just checking- you have a slow cooker, right?
Incredibly, Eddie did have a slow cooker. The recipe took eight hours and the two of them spent most of that time on Facetime just doing chores around the house and talking while checking on the food every so often. Buck had decided to cook alongside Eddie, and he was glad he did, it was seven and a half hours in and the smell was mouthwatering.
“Man, I really miss your food” Eddie sighed as he cut up a couple of limes for garnish.
Buck laughed. “It’s only been like a month since I last cooked for you” he pointed out.
“Yeah, and it’s been a long month” Eddie said. “Seriously Buck, you know your cooking is incredible. I wish you were here to cook for me.”
Buck ducked his head to hide his blush. “I’m no Bobby” he told Eddie, “anyway, this recipe is foolproof.”
“Just take the compliment, Buckley” Eddie said, rolling his eyes. “Bobby’s great, but so are you.” He checked his watch and swore. “I’m not gonna make it.”
“You are!” Buck promised him.
“The recipe says, ‘perfect slow cooker barbacoa in eight hours’ not seven hours and forty-five minutes!” Eddie said, pacing around his kitchen.
“Recipes are a guideline” Buck reminded him.
“Well to Helena Diaz they’re a gospel” Eddie told him. “The first family dinner in the new house, it better be fork tender.”
Buck’s stomach twisted at how easily Eddie referred to his place as the ‘new house’. He pushed through the feeling and tried to reassure Eddie. “The slow cooker’s never wrong, your mom’s gonna love it.”
“Who cares if she loves it?” Eddie scoffed. “Chris has gotten used to her cooking. I don’t want to give him a reason not to move back in with me.”
Buck perked up, he had no idea that things were going that well. Eddie hadn’t mentioned anything about Chris moving in. Something like that could easily mean they were one step closing to moving back to LA.
“Wait, he’s finally coming to stay?” he asked, unable to keep the excitement from his voice.
“No, just dinner” Eddie said, sighing again. “I don’t want to be heavy handed.”
“Have you asked him?” Buck asked, already knowing the answer.
“No” Eddie said, “I was sort of hoping he’d ask me”. He leant forward and really looked at Buck. “I want it to be his choice.”
“So barbacoa is the trap?” Buck teased.
“And the Mavericks this weekend” Eddie added with a smile.
Buck was vaguely aware that that was a basketball team, after the whole incident during the basketball game with Tommy and Eddie he hated the sport even more if that was possible. “That’s Dallas, right?” he asked, trying his best to sound interested.
“Got us tickets” Eddie said, taking the tickets out of his pocket with a wink which left Buck incredibly hot and flustered. “I’m gonna surprise him with them at dinner.”
“A father-son roadtrip” Buck said. This could be so good for Eddie and Chris, he hoped everything would go Eddie’s way, even though he really didn’t trust his mom. “That’s going to be big!”
He heard the sound of someone knocking on the door on Eddie’s side of the call. “They’re here” Eddie said, looking panicked, “and there’s still eleven minutes left.”
“It’s going to be great” Buck said fondly, he probably shouldn’t find Eddie’s panicking so endearing, but he did. It was cute.
“Bye, Buck” Eddie said quickly before hanging up.
The house felt a lot colder once the call had ended. Buck didn’t think he’d ever been on the phone for that length of time but it flown by. He wished he was having dinner with Eddie and Chris now, if only to give Eddie support. He turned off his own slow cooker with a sigh, his appetite suddenly gone. He’d take the leftovers to the station tomorrow, that’s what lonely, single people did, right?
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Buck didn’t get an update from Eddie on how dinner had gone and by the time he was on shift the next morning he had other things to worry about, mainly the fact that they’d all forgotten Hen’s birthday. He didn’t think any of them would be forgiven any time soon, which was completely fair, Hen wouldn’t ever forget any of their birthdays. Buck felt awful which was why he was currently helping Bobby prepare a big birthday lunch for Hen.
“How’s Eddie doing?” Bobby asked as they sorted the ingredients for Bobby’s chicken casserole.
“He’s ok, I think” Buck frowned. “He had this big dinner with his parents and Chris last night, which I actually haven’t heard anything about.” He pulled out his phone, just in case he’d missed something, but there was nothing from Eddie.
“I’m sure everything’s fine” Bobby reassured him. “How are you doing? I know you’ve been struggling a bit without him.”
Buck chewed his bottom lip, wondering if he should confide in Bobby about his feelings for Eddie. He put his knife down and turned to face him. “If you were in love with someone and you knew it wasn’t going to work out, what would you do?”
Bobby stilled for a moment before he continued chopping the carrots. “What makes you think it won’t work out?”
“Bobby” Buck sighed.
“I’m serious” Bobby said, “you and Eddie have an incredible bond that, in my opinion, goes far beyond friendship. If anyone could make a relationship work, it would be the two of you.”
“He doesn’t feel the same way.”
“Have you asked him?” Bobby asked. Buck shook his head. ‘Well, there you go, you don’t know” Bobby turned to Buck and placed his hand on his shoulder. “Buck, you and I know better than anyone about how short life is, you never know when your heart might stop, and we’ve been lucky enough to get a second chance at life. Don’t waste it. If you love Eddie, tell him.”
Sometimes Buck forgot just how wise Bobby was. After the lightning strike Buck had vowed to never take life for granted but he realised now that he’d spent the last couple of years picking the safest options. Maybe he should take a risk every now and then.
“I, uh, think I’ll give Eddie a call” Buck said, “see if he knows what Hen’s favorite pie is.”
‘Sounds like a good idea” Bobby agreed with a smile.
Of course, Eddie knew it was Hen’s birthday because he an old man who still used Facebook.
“I don’t know if a pie can fix that” Eddie laughed when Buck told him that everyone had forgotten.
Buck decided to change the subject. “Are you ready for your big basketball weekend with Christopher?” he asked.
Eddie’s face fell and Buck’s stomach dropped along with it. What the hell had happened at that dinner? He’d thought it had been unusual that Eddie hadn’t texted him immediately afterwards. “Chris and my dad already had plans” Eddie said sullenly.
Buck frowned. “What do you mean? Plans like you’re not invited?”
“Chess tournament” Eddie explained. “My dad’s going with him as his coach.”
“Who cares?” Buck said, unsure why this was even a problem, surely Chris would want people cheering him on? “Just go anyway.”
“It’s not that simple” Eddie told him. “Chris is in a good place and I don’t want to damage that.”
Buck’s heart broke. Oh Eddie. How could he think he was still damaging Chris when everything he had done since Chris had left had been to give him all the time and space and care in the world. “You’re his dad” he said firmly. “He doesn’t have a mom, if you don’t damage him, who will? It’s your job” he knew he sounded harsh but he also knew Eddie wouldn’t take offence, Buck was pulling out the tough love that was at the foundation of their friendship.
“I’d have to kick my dad off the bus” Eddie said.
Buck honestly couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Then take an Uber! You are an Uber, take yourself! Don’t you want to go?”
“Of course I do!” Eddie said.
“So go! No one can stop you. Dad up!”
Eddie cracked a smile, “Dad up? That’s your advice?”
Buck grinned at him. “Yeah” he spotted Chimney sitting at the table, “hey, you tell him” he said, turning the camera round so Eddie could see Chim.
“I hate to say it but Buck’s right” Chim shrugged.
“You heard all of that?” Buck heard Eddie ask.
“Yeah” Chim said, “and why didn’t you remind us it was Hen’s birthday?”
“I’m hanging up” Eddie told them and then he was gone.
“God” Buck groaned, “I can’t believe his parents! They’re trying to ruin his relationship with Chris! How could they do that to their own son?”
“You know as well as I do that some parents don’t give a crap about their kids” Chim said. “Come to think of it, I think having shitty parents is a requirement to work at the 118.”
Buck ignored him. “Do you think he’ll go?”
Chim stood up and stretched. “I think that man would do anything you tell him to” he said matter of factly before walking off leaving Buck gaping after him.
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Buck didn’t hear anything more from Eddie for another twenty-four hours. He hoped that meant that Eddie had taken his advice and was currently watching Chris wipe the floor with everyone at his tournament. When his phone flashed with Eddie’s contact late on Saturday evening, Buck snatched it up.
“Hey” he said as Eddie’s face came into view, “please tell me you went.”
“Oh, I did” Eddie said, he was smiling but his eyes were red and puffy and Buck didn’t know what to think. “It was a good thing I did too, Chris panicked.”
“What?” Buck asked. “Is he ok?”
“Yeah” Eddie said, “he’s good now. He threw up in front of everyone because he was so nervous. Turns out he hates chess and just kept at it because he didn’t want to upset my dad, who incidentally has been telling everyone that he is Christopher’s father.”
“What the hell?” Buck demanded. “What a jerk!”
“That’s one way of putting it” Eddie laughed. “And there’s more, Buck. I told Chris he was coming to live with me, that it wasn’t a choice. Turned out he was fine with that, he just needed me to be his dad.” Buck could see the tears in Eddie’s eyes and it made his own eyes fill out.
“That’s great, Eds” he said, “I’m so proud of you.”
“It’s all because of you, Buck” Eddie said earnestly.
Buck shook his head. “No, Eddie, this is all you.”
“You told me to dad up” Eddie reminded him. “You gave me the kick up the ass that I needed and I’m so incredibly grateful.” His expression was so soft that Buck had to look away. “I wish you understood how incredible you are” Eddie said softly, “I wouldn’t be half the man I am today without you.”
“Right back at you” Buck croaked out.
They stared at each other for a minute before Eddie looked like he wanted to say something, then shook his head. “I better get going” he said reluctantly. “I promised Chris pizza and a movie. We’ll call you tomorrow?”
“Yeah, go and have some bonding time” Buck told him. “Tell Chris I love him and that I’m really proud of him.”
“I will” Eddie said softly. “See you, Buck.” Then he was gone and Buck was left once again staring at the screen, replaying Eddie’s words in his head.
He sat there for a while, lost in his feelings and love for Eddie, thinking back to a few weeks ago when he’d been firmly in denial. He stood up suddenly and grabbed his keys. There was something he needed to do and something he definitely needed to say.
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Tommy definitely looked surprised to find Buck standing on his doorstep. “Evan” he said, blinking at Buck, “I didn’t expect to hear from you. Do you want to come in.”
“No” Buck said, “I won’t be long, I just really needed to make something clear.”
Tommy raised his eyebrow. “Oh?”
“You were wrong” Buck said. “You said Eddie was the competition and he wasn’t, but that’s because no one could compete with Eddie. I’d choose him over you every time.”
Tommy scowled, “what so you thought you’d rub it in my face?”
“I think you’re insecure” Buck told him, “and I think you thought you could be with me and dictate my friendships just because Eddie’s in Texas. I just wanted you to know that there was never any competition, and if that’s how you were feeling then our relationship should’ve ended a long time ago.”
“So what, you’ve finally realised you’re in love with Diaz and think he’s going to feel the same way?” Tommy said with a scoff.
Buck shrugged. “Maybe not, but it wouldn’t change anything. Eddie’s always going to be in my life, no matter what.”
With that Buck turned around and walked back to his truck with a spring in his step. He felt a hundred times lighter after saying his piece. He hadn’t led Tommy on, Tommy had done that to himself. Maybe he should have thanked Tommy for being the catalyst for Buck realising his feelings. He didn’t think Tommy deserved any thanks though.
It was two weeks later when Buck had just got home from the busiest shift they’d had in a long time. He was contemplating whether to cook or just order takeout and veg out in front of the TV when the doorbell rang.
He thought about ignoring it for a moment, he wasn’t expecting anyone and his joints were aching. It rang again though and he groaned, heaving himself off the couch. “Ok, I’m coming” he grumbled as he hobbled towards the door.
He flung the door open and froze. “SURPRISE!” shouted Eddie and Chris, standing on the doorstep with matching grins on their faces.
Buck opened his mouth, but no words came out, he stood and stared and wondered if he was so tired that he was hallucinating.
Chris turned to Eddie, his grin widening even further. “We actually made Buck speechless” he laughed, giving his dad a high five.
“Hey, Buck” Eddie said softly, “you going to let us in?”
Buck blinked, his body unfreezing. “Yeah” he said, clearing his throat, “oh my god, come in.”
Eddie and Chris stepped inside, and Buck took a good look at Chris. “You’ve grown so much” he murmured before he pulled the teenager into a tight hug. He pressed his cheek against Chris’s hair and couldn’t help the tears that rolled down his cheeks. It had been almost six months since he’d seen Chris. It was far too long.
“Buck” Chris whined, obviously embarrassed, but he tightened his arms around Buck anyway before pulling away. “I knew you’d cry.”
Buck laughed, wiping his face. “Sorry, buddy, I just really missed you.”
Chris rolled his eyes but smiled back. “I missed you too, Buck.”
“Sorry for springing this on you” Eddie said, “we just couldn’t resist surprising you. We can get a hotel if you want?”
Buck never wanted either of them to leave his sight ever again. “No way” he said. “This is your house.”
“I think it’s your house” Eddie corrected.
Buck shrugged, “Eh, it will always be the Diaz house to me.” He decided to ask the dreaded question. “So, how long are you staying?”
Eddie and Chris looked at each other again. “Well, forever” Eddie said.
Buck was pretty sure he was going to cry again. “Wait, you’re moving back?”
“We’re moving back” Eddie confirmed. “Our home is in LA, not El Paso.”
“And the 118?” Buck asked.
“Already spoken to Bobby and I’ve got my job back” Eddie said proudly, “asked him to keep it a secret.”
“You and your secrets” Buck sniffed. “So, I guess I should find a new place then?”
“Or you could just stay here?” Eddie blurted out and then blushed furiously.
Buck frowned, “but there’s only two bedrooms.”
Eddie looked at him and it suddenly all clicked into place. “Oh” Buck breathed.
“I’m going to my room to unpack” Chris announced, hoisting a duffle bag onto his shoulder and manoeuvring with his crutches.
“I kept your room as similar as I could to how it used to be” Buck told Chris, sparing a glance at Chris before looking back at Eddie. “I kind of hoped you’d come home.”
“Sweet, thanks, Buck” Chris said before he disappeared down the corridor leaving Buck and Eddie alone.
“So” Buck said nervously.
“So” Eddie echoed, “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and reflecting over the last couple of weeks, and I realised that I’m completely in love with you.”
Buck was pretty sure he’d stopped breathing. “How did you come to that conclusion?” he managed to ask.
Eddie took a step forward. “Well I missed you all the time” he told Buck, “I thought about you every second of every day. Our Facetimes were often the best part of my day, I couldn’t wait to speak to you. Then after the chess tournament, when I’d got Chris back, I realised just how much you do for me, how much you’ve always done, and it hit me that you are so incredible and I’m pretty sure I’ve loved you for years.” He chuckled, “Of course, I panicked, had a couple of emergency debriefs with my sisters. Then I sat Chris down and told him and he just said he knew and gave us his blessing.”
Buck laughed; his eyes blurred with tears. “Of course he did.” He stepped forward and reached out, his hand brushing Eddie’s waist. “I love you too.”
Eddie’s smile was the most beautiful thing Buck had ever seen. “Thank god, that would’ve been awkward if you didn’t.”
Buck wrapped his arms around Eddie’s waist and pulled him close. “Everyone kept telling me I was in love with you, it just took me a while to figure it out.”
“Do you think we’re idiots? Eddie asked.
“Probably” Buck laughed, “but we got there in the end.”
“And now we’re home” Eddie added. “You, me, and Chris.”
Buck closed the gap between them and kissed Eddie softly, the first of many. “Home” he murmured against Eddie’s lips. “I like that.”