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Evan Buckley always felt like he was in the shadows of somebody. Maddie’s punk little brother, the boy who couldn’t save Daniel, the screw up child. The disappointment.
He’d given up on trying to be anything great, realizing nothing would ever be good enough. Not to who mattered most, at least. He spent most of his days feeling like an imposter, a stranger in his own skin.
Maddie moved out which is when it all started. Then he had to work hard, to be better. He needed to act like everything was okay and not give his parents a reason to pay extra attention to him. Especially because of how his parents talked about Maddie after she left; trying to get him to side with them like she was some sort of awful person for leaving. Sure, he hated Doug. But he didn’t blame Maddie for wanting out. He didn’t blame her for leaving. He just wished that she would text more. And that he could leave too.
He made it through high school, barely. Maddie wasn’t at graduation. He’d looked for her. He wasn’t surprised. She had started pulling away more the longer she was gone. He didn’t blame her. He wouldn’t want to talk to him either. Part of him was beginning to wonder if it had something to do with Doug. Something was off with that whole situation.
Finding his own place in a world he didn’t fit into was hard. He couldn’t afford his own place, so he was stuck living at home a little longer. He wasn’t sure how much more of this he could take. His parents were either always there or never there. When they were there, they were suffocatingly there. He had troubles being honest with what he wanted. He couldn’t stand up to them without Maddie there.
School was the escape for a bit. Community college wasn’t exactly what Evan Buckley wanted for himself. But it would do the trick while he put off figuring out what he wanted to do with his life. At this point, he was convinced he didn’t have a calling, or a purpose. The universe was screaming at everybody but him and he didn’t understand. School was a good escape until he got kicked out.
He ran. He ran to his sister. He couldn’t stay away any longer. She always knew what to do and he needed to see her. He hadn’t since she moved back.
He went to see her at Hershey General Hospital after he crashed his bike. He asked to stay with her. She declined. He told her how their parents thought he was a loser and that one day he was actually going to be something. She told him of course he would be. He was so sick of being looked at but not seen by people. Maddie was the only one that understood. She was going to help him.
He got home that night just to get yelled at and told how reckless he was. He towered over his parents, but he’d never felt smaller. He wished the ground would swallow him whole. Right as he was about to tell his parents everything he had been avoiding saying, Maddie showed up. He never ran so fast to get into a car.
They made plans to run away together. She gave him her Jeep. He had no idea where he was going to go. Evan knew Maddie wasn’t happy with Doug. She couldn’t hide it from him when she was right in front of him. She was always vague when Doug was brought up. They were really going to do it. They would escape the environment they had been trying to since they were little. The chance for a fresh start and ability to make new memories was there. It was finally happening.
That was until Maddie wouldn’t see him the day they were supposed to leave.
Evan should’ve known it was too good to be true. That stupid note. Stupid Doug. He left anyways. He couldn’t deal with life in Hershey anymore. Even though he didn’t like it, he knew he’d have to leave Maddie behind to do it.
He wasn’t sure what was ahead for him. He just got in the Jeep and drove, going into the real world by himself. For the first time ever, he was going to make something of himself. He would no longer be that kid who was never good enough or Maddie’s brother. He was going to be Evan Buckley with a reputation soon to be made, a clean slate.
He roamed around the East Coast for the first three months, starting off small. None of the jobs lasted more than a few weeks except for one that he didn’t mind. That one lasted a month and a half. The jobs were mostly retail or in a restaurant. Basic starter jobs. He didn’t like those. He didn’t like the repetitive processes it entailed. He wanted, no, he needed to do more. He wanted to do something meaningful, where he could help people like he wanted to. He just wasn’t sure what that meant just yet.
Georgia was the first place he wrote to Maddie from. He stopped being mad at Maddie almost immediately and still wanted to keep her updated. After all, she was the one that raised him. Probably the only person who actually cared about him too.
While in Georgia, he met some cool people at his job. This one was a little more involved than retail. He worked at a window factory and built windows all day. Everybody he met there he quickly became friends with. They would go to the bars together on the weekends. It didn’t matter that he was the youngest, being 21. They all got along really well until Buck decided that even though he enjoyed the work, he still wanted to do more, so after a few months, it was on to the next place.
Virginia Beach was next. He became a mixologist. He wanted to dive deeper into how to make drinks now that he was old enough to go to bars and had been able to try all sorts of drinks. His favorite to make was a Moscow Mule. He wasn’t sure why, though. He just liked how it looked. While there, he got to learn so much about bartending and he got to see the ocean. He’d always wanted to see it. It was such a fascinating place. Plus, learning to surf was awesome. He told Maddie he met a girl who liked to surf, and she taught him how. He didn’t want to mention to Maddie that he had fallen for surfer girl. She didn’t feel the same, but he still liked spending time with her anyways.
Eventually, he decided it was time to uproot again. Mixology was not his true calling as fun as it was. But it was comforting to know he could have something to fall back on if he couldn’t find anything else he liked to do. Plus, Shay inevitably broke his heart after everything. Evan knew what was going to happen when she decided to try dating him anyways. He got closer to her and wanted to spend more time with her, she got less attached the more they hung out. It didn’t end well.
After realizing he didn’t mind building windows, he went to Florida and became a construction worker. While it wasn’t the most fun he’s ever had at a job, he liked it enough to stay for a while, about eight months. His coworkers were funny, and they didn’t seem to mind having him around. He got to learn how to build houses and what parts were the most important and necessary to make sure they were stable. He found it kind of cool how the process began. But, once again it became too repetitive. He was ready for change after not too long. At least building houses could be crossed off the list.
Evan ended up in Memphis, Tennessee. He was drawn to the music even though he wasn’t much of a music person himself. He somehow wound up there during the week of a big music festival. Something called the Beale St. Music Festival. He ended up getting a job as a driver for a band for about a week, to get them to and from wherever they needed to go while they were in town. They were super nice people, and he actually got invited to hang out with them after he dropped them back off at their hotel one night. He declined because he didn’t want to impose. He hadn’t heard of them before but when he saw them pop up in his feed one day when he was already headed to the next place, he realized they were super famous. How had he never heard of Twenty One Pilots before? He sure did now.
Oklahoma City was the next place on the map for Evan Buckley. He somehow had ended up scoring a job as a window washer for the Oklahoma Tower. He stuck around for about a month, enjoying the thrill of being so high up in the air and getting to do something like that. He was an adrenaline junkie and hadn’t realized how much he missed doing stuff like that. He was supposed to be the window washer for two months, but he got bored in half the time. Luckily it was not a binding contract. The idea that it was his life and that he didn’t necessarily have to do what other people wanted him to do if he didn’t want it was a new concept, but one he was beginning to love.
Climbing was something Evan did in his free time. He used to climb trees when he was little and that slowly evolved into rock climbing. That’s how he landed a job as a climbing instructor at Flagstaff Climbing. He wished he could’ve climbed more while on the job. Helping the people out was still fun, but it wasn’t as hands-on as he had hoped.
Trying to be a Navy SEAL in California was never something Evan imagined for himself. But he always thought those guys were so cool. Plus, he wouldn’t mind doing something that was physically demanding where he would hopefully get to do different missions so it would change every so often. Unfortunately, he didn’t make it through the 8-week training to be one before he dropped that. He didn’t like how they ran things. He did, however, like being close to the ocean again.
He dug into his inner cowboy dreams next. After trying out the SEALs, he decided he wanted to try out something that was less forced order and something more exploratory. He landed in Billings, Montana on a dude ranch. He liked getting to be around the animals and fixing up fences and whatever else needed to be fixed. He really enjoy all of the work he was doing there. Deep inside, he knew Montana wasn’t it for him. He worked there for about eight months before calling it quits. The ocean called to him.
Traveling west again, Evan found himself in Pacific City, Oregon. There, he ended up landing a job as a surf instructor. He was a little rusty at first but was happy to get back on a surfboard. He really enjoyed it. Pacific City was only a two-week stint. People didn’t show up much for lessons with the weather getting colder and the surf shop he worked for closed for the season.
One of his ranch hand buddies told him about Peru. That’s where Evan found himself next. He became a mixologist again. He wasn’t sure how he found himself in a similar situation to when he was in Virginia Beach. First the surfing, and now mixology again. But he wasn’t complaining. He just was determined to not get involved with another surfer girl for fear of that repeating itself too.
Peru was great. The people were great, the food was great. He got to learn a new language, see a new culture, meet all sorts of people. Peru was probably one of his favorite places Evan had visited. As much fun as he was having, something was still missing somehow. He knew he wasn’t living up to his full potential. One day he was talking with this guy from LA who was telling him that he should visit and that he would fit right in. He even said Evan would have a place to stay with them. He had never been to LA before, figured he could give it a shot.
A year later, Evan found himself at a fire academy in LA. He was nervous. This was something he was really interested in. He wasn’t sure why he hadn’t considered being a firefighter before. He loved doing all sorts of adrenaline spiking activities. Being able to help people on top of that? Sold. He couldn’t mess this up. He somehow knew this was what he was meant to do.
The first day of training went okay. It wasn’t as good as he had hoped. Four Evans in one class made it confusing so it got a little chaotic. He would do better tomorrow.
Suddenly, it was six months later, and he had finished his training at the academy. He had excelled and exceeded his own expectations. He’d also received a new name for himself. One that was more… him. Buck was beyond excited to start his probationary period at fire station 118. He could tell this was going to be amazing. He was no longer the nameless kid from Hershey who lived in everyone else’s shadow. He was now Buck Buckley: firefighter. And he was about to make a name for himself.