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It was all fucking pointless.
His stammering heart, his twisting guts, his cheeks blushing like some pathetic schoolgirl.
Completely useless, the way he felt for some random extra in class.
But it was there anyway. And Bakugou had to figure out what to do about it.
On one hand, his ultimate goal was to become the number one hero. No crush would change that, and these feelings had a high possibility of becoming a distraction. He knew that much.
On the other, he was the kinda guy who was willing to do anything to get what he wanted.
And what he wanted, apparently, was Tokoyami.
It made no sense to him. But the feelings were there. So…
Fuck it. He approached him in the gym where no one else would hear above the sound of over a dozen Quirks going off at once.
“Oi, bird brain, my dorm later.”
Tokoyami looked confused and concerned, but he nodded and agreed anyway. At least he had guts, Bakugou gave him that.
After school, Bakugou changed into more comfortable clothing and tried to start on his homework, but most of his time was spent twirling his pencil and considering what to say to him when he came.
But maybe the direct approach would be best. It's not like he'd be writing the guy poems.
Besides, there was a slim chance he'd actually have any feelings in return, anyway. They barely knew each other. The whole point was just to get this off of his chest so he could move on.
Whatever. It's fine.
His nerves spiked as a soft knock came from his door. Bakugou called out, “It's unlocked.” His hands were, for some stupid reason, shaking so hard that if he tried to open the door himself, he was sure he’d fumble with the knob.
The door opened, and there he was. The damn bird that had gotten Bakugou’s attention somehow.
Well, that wasn't true. Bakugou knew exactly how Tokoyami had earned a place in his head. It was just too damn corny to admit it, even to himself.
“Hello, Bakugou.” Tokoyami greeted him with a respectful nod.
And that’s when Bakugou became lost. He sort of planned to just spit it out. But after a moment of hesitation, he realized one flaw in that plan.
Every time he had spoken his true feelings, it had been during a fight. Mostly with Izuku. He had no idea where to even begin without some big, explosive turmoil driving him to pour his damn heart out.
And since he had no desire or reason to fight Tokoyami, he had no idea where to start.
“Bird brain… “ His voice was unsteady, coming out aggressive, almost angry. Shit… Not like this. He clenched his teeth, trying to keep himself calm and plan out his next words.
“Have I done something to upset you? “ Tokoyami asked.
Bakugou grit his teeth together. “No…” Though the way he said it was probably very unconvincing. “Fuck, damn it. Why is talking about shit so hard? “ He groaned, mostly to himself. Though when Tokoyami’s expression turned from confusion to concern, he seemed to consider what he had just grumbled.
Tokoyami’s gaze was intense on him, burning right through his skin. “Perhaps because everything that is worth doing is difficult.” His arms shifted a little, from his sides, to his front and back again almost like he wasn’t sure what to do with his hands.
Obviously, he was growing uncomfortable as Bakugou struggled with his words. But he had a point. It was easy to blast through every obstacle with his Quirk, grind through every physical fitness goal he had, and force his way through life like he always had.
Words, though, would never be easy. A day missed in the gym wasn’t much of a big deal. But a fumbled sentence couldn’t be taken back.
“The Sports Festival…” Bakugou began at the start. Way back before he realized he had been a damn brat most of his life. Way before he stopped looking down on people just to make himself feel like someone worth a damn. But right when Tokoyami had earned his respect. “You knew my quirk was a match from hell. But you tried to beat me anyway.”
“Of course.” Tokoyami said. “A hero must learn to adapt and overcome obstacles, despite the challenges.”
“That took a lot of guts.” Bakugou could at least admit that. “And I’ve seen what you can do without Dark Shadow, too.” He crossed his arms and looked away. “You think things through. Consider the best options for everyone. That’s not a bad strategy when you’re trying to become a top hero. That is what you’re trying to do, isn’t it?”
“It is.” Tokoyami confirmed. “I came to UA in order to learn how to harness Dark Shadow better, so that I may help others. I want to become a hero people can rely on no matter the cost.”
Good. If their goals are aligned to become heroes no matter what it took, and this stupid confession actually went anywhere, whatever was about to happen next might be advantageous.
If Bakugou was going to have a partner, they’d have to be willing to be as motivated as he was. It would be even more ideal to have someone to spar and train with more often, someone who was on the same page as he was when it came to hard work.
“I’m still going to become the number one hero. Nothing will change that. But there’s been somethin’ else on my mind lately. Somethin’ I can’t get out of my damn head.” Bakugou had done his best to push aside his feelings, he really did. But it was impossible to forget how much he respected Tokoyami. How powerful the guy felt, and how all he wanted to do was stand back and watch him get even stronger. It was like he was cheering him on the whole time and didn’t even realize it.
“If I may ask, Bakugou,” Tokoyami stepped a little closer to him. “What may that be? What thoughts are clouding your mind?”
Bakugou almost wanted to laugh. Earlier he was saying he wasn’t going to write the guy poems, completely forgetting how poetic Tokoyami himself could be. But he had no room to laugh when he was already full of nerves. “You.” His throat was dry as he said it. “You’ve caught my attention.”
Tokoyami’s eyes widened a bit in surprise. “Is this a challenge? You know fighting outside of school-sanctioned activities is prohibited. I will not be caught in a squabble only to be granted suspension like yourself and Midoriya.”
Bakugou winced at the memory a little. But no… he had no desire to start a fight. A challenge, though? Well, he was always ready for one of those. And like Tokoyami said earlier, everything that’s worth doing is difficult.
But he’d blast through this just like everything else. “Tokoyami,” He pressed on. “I don’t want to fight. You’ve caught my attention because…” He wanted to kick himself a little. Why the hell hadn’t he just ignored his feelings so he didn’t have to make a whole damn speech like this for no reason? This was all pointless! “Because damn it, you’re stronger than you look. And you’re no coward, either. That’s something I like in…” Shit… He hadn’t thought this part through, either! His cheeks were starting to redden and built-in shame started bubbling in his chest.
But fuck that.
He was going to just say it. Just fucking say it no matter the judgmental glare he might get. No matter the whispers in the school halls that might come tomorrow. Who the hell gave a damn about any of that anyway?
“Something I like in guys. That way.” Bakugou finally said it. His heart pounded in his chest, his body almost vibrating with every beat. The only person who knew this about him was Izuku, and that barely counted. The guy wasn’t great at lying, sure, but he knew how to keep that kind of secret, at least.
“I see.” Tokoyami’s expression was too steady. What the hell was the guy thinking? Bakugou held his breath, watching as the guy processed what he had just been told. “What are you trying to tell me, Bakugou? There is little room for misunderstandings in these circumstances. I’d appreciate a direct answer, if you can.”
Bakugou froze up a little at that. Real, unfiltered communication wasn’t something he was used to. There were no double meanings to his words, nothing to extrapolate from tone or verbiage. He kept things simple, which Bakugou was starting to appreciate. It seemed like Tokoyami knew when to be plain-worded and when to be poetic.
So, Bakugou figured he could do the same for him, no matter how much his throat resisted saying it. “I’m gay and… You’ve caught my interest as a potential romantic partner.” Shit, that sounded way too stupid. But maybe sometimes stupid things were also the most real things, too.
Tokoyami’s next words came out as a whisper. “Thank you, Bakugou.” His eyes closed in consideration for just a moment. “Then I shall speak plainly as well. Despite your brashness, or perhaps because of it, you, too, have caught my attention in the same way.” Tokoyami said, “Though I am uncertain how to label my own preferences, I do know that I have had romantic interest in you for a period of time.”
Bakugou had to sit down. He made his way over to the chair at his desk and offered the edge of his bed to Tokoyami.
He didn’t expect this at all. Not that he thought he was unlikable, of course there were reasons someone would be interested in him. But Tokoyami’s interest was not something he expected to catch.
Tokoyami was the first to continue. “Your strength and strong sense of self is something I admire about you, Bakugou.” He leaned forward, barely sitting on the bed, too shy about it to really get comfortable. “You aren’t concerned of other’s judgments, a luxury I have never afforded myself. But perhaps it is something I could learn from you. To keep looking forward rather than back. To learn lessons, yes, but never linger on them for too long. Doing so will only cause one to fall behind.”
“Good to know you understand me, then.” Bakugou looked him up and down. In the bright light of the sunset filtering through his window, he could count each individual feather, their edges nearly glowing. “Seems like you’ve been paying more attention than I thought.”
“Of course I have.” Tokoyami said. “You have many qualities to look up to. And many qualities to learn from. I enjoy times when we are near each other. You are many things I wish I could be.” He asked, “What shall we do now, knowing we have mutual feelings?”
Bakugou knew exactly what he wanted to do. “We’re gonna be more than classmates, that’s for damn sure. I’m not a fan of wasting time. Are you?”
“Time is the one thing we cannot evade.” Tokoyami agreed. “Let us not waste any of it, then.”
This was it, and it was better than anything Bakugou could have expected. Understanding, communication, and all the corniness that came with those things, he would have to get used to it.
But with Tokoyami finally at his side, their feelings both out on the table, it was a fair trade off.
“You and me, then.” Bakugou said.
Tokoyami nodded. “You and me.”