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The little gold doorbell rang as a couple of kids ran in, shaking out the cold water from their hair. They were probably trying to hide from the rain that was pouring outside, the dirty little diner a last attempt at staying at least somewhat dry before they had to head home to their disgruntled parents. It wasn’t often that such a downpour graced LA, at least judging by the short months Lizzy had spent here so far.
The weather was nauseating; the sick mix of an unexpected temperature drop and cold drizzle were sure to have her down with a cold in a couple of days. Lizzy sighed as she looked at the raindrops sliding down the diner windows, stiffly wiping down a tabletop with a cloth that was far from clean. Indiana was never like this, and from what she knew, LA wasn’t supposed to be, either.
Finally recovered from the high speed chase forced by the rain, the kids had a chance to look around. The diner hardly looked inviting, especially at this time of day; the yellow lamps at the tables gave the place an ill look, the oily counter was mismatched from the cheap bar stools stood next to it, and the sleazy pictures of coquettish girls on the walls gave off a tasteless feel. Besides, it was almost the end of the day shift, so the only customers left were either asleep with their heads on their arms or too drunk to stand up and walk out.
Lizzy gave the children a small smile and an almost imperceptible nod. She wished she could be more welcoming, maybe offer them each a cup of hot cocoa to warm up, but the nightshift barista was running late again and Lizzy couldn’t afford any more little favors to be taken out of her paycheck. Her and Axl were already barely scraping by as they were.
One of the girls gave a shy wave in return before smiling guiltily and turning to walk out of the diner. The rest of the kids followed her, deciding to brave the rain that by now had turned into a timid sprinkle. The storm dissipated just as quickly as it had come, leaving LA streets wet and empty, ready for the rowdy crowds to return with the cover of night. For now, though, it was eerily quiet, the only disturbances to the silence being the final ring of the diner doorbell and the hushed laughter of the children who were now sprinting down the deserted street.
Giving her watch a glance, Lizzy hurried into the kitchen, depositing the washcloth into the sink and shrugging off her apron. The watch was an old thing, a 12th birthday gift Axl had somehow scraped up enough for at the time. A small smile graced Lizzy’s lips at the thought of her brother, anticipating another quiet night in.
After his most recent fight with Jeff, Axl had been relatively mellow, pridefully rejecting their mutual friends’ invitations to go out. Instead, he spent his evenings stewing in his anger in their small flat, furiously scribbling song lyrics in his scruffy notebook and devouring the leftovers Lizzy brought home from the diner. He lost another job (a bus boy position this time) a couple weeks ago and with nothing else to do, pestered his little sister for that reason or another whenever she wasn’t picking up an extra shift.
Selfishly, Lizzy was glad Axl had a falling out with his LA friends; she missed spending time with him, even if it was sitting in silence in front of their old TV set, her too exhausted from work and him too moody to talk. It was almost like they were back in Indiana, except this time she felt safe and they didn’t have to rush to turn the TV off whenever they heard footsteps. It was familiar, and yet so much better.
Hurrying out of the kitchen, Lizzy sighed in relief as she saw Barb, her nightshift replacement, dashing through the door. She was clearly out of breath, her chest heaving and her hair falling haphazardly down the back of her drenched trench coat. She attempted shaking the rainwater out of her curls, almost like a dog, before giving Lizzy a pained look and heading towards the counter.
“Hey,” Lizzy snickered, giving Barb a familiar smile and following her into the back room. “Long day?” She asked, closing the door behind them and fetching her light blue cardigan from one of the hooks on the wall.
“You have no idea!” Exclaimed Barb, now fighting to get her apron on, struggling to tie the laces behind her back. “First thing in the morning, my mom calls, asking me if I’m coming home for Thanksgiving, which I’m obviously not. I had to sit there for half an hour, trying to explain to her that I’m not in college, and it’s not like I can ask for a week off here just to go to visit her and dad in Phoenix. I don’t think I’ll be able to pay my phone bill this month, I swear.”
Lizzy hummed in agreement before stepping behind Barb and helping her tie her apron on. Her friend flashed her a grateful smile over the shoulder before running to try and fix her hair in front of a dingy wall mirror.
“And then this weather. Tell me, have you seen anything this bad in LA? Because I sure as shit haven’t.” Barb huffed, trying to wrestle her curls into a neat braid. Lizzy wanted to agree that no, she hasn’t seen weather this bad in LA, at least since August, but was interrupted before she could. “I’m telling you, it’s like we’re being punished. And if that dick Jasper shows up again tonight, I’m going to seriously lose it. This day is shitty enough already.”
Lizzy laughed, with her full chest this time, patting Barb on the back and depositing her name tag into a small cardboard box near the mirror. It had been almost 2 weeks since Barb dumped Jasper in quite a public manner after hearing of him making less than chivalrous advances towards one of Barb’s many friends, but the poor guy kept showing up with that hopeful look in his eyes. Lizzy offered Barb to switch shifts so that Jasper wouldn’t be able to catch her, at least at work, but her friend refused, mumbling something about the convenience of a night shift.
Lizzy didn’t judge; if Barb wanted to revel in Jasper’s pitifulness for a bit longer, so be it. She deserved at least that much.
Lizzy hurried out of the back room, followed closely by Barb. Clocking out, she absentmindedly gave her friend a side hug, wishing her a good night and promising to call her in the morning, as per their ritual.
“Oh! And I almost forgot.” Barb shrieked as her lips melted into a cheeky smile. She grabbed Lizzy by the arm, then leaned down to her ear to whisper conspiratorially. “Someone’s waiting for you.”
Lizzy gave her a confused look before twisting around to face the large windows. There, by the door, leaning against a lamppost, stood Jeff. Lizzy immediately turned back around, eyes wide and panicked, to face Barb and her devious laugh. Slowly, as if scared that he’d see her, Lizzy turned back around.
Lizzy hadn’t seen Jeff since he and Axl fought a week ago. And while that didn’t seem like a long time, it sure felt like it; Lizzy just managed to get back into her old rhythm with her brother and Jeff, and now she felt like she lost her footing with him again. She didn’t know the exact reason for the drift, but assumed it was because of a girl. A lot of things have been about girls lately.
Jeff’s hands were in his jacket pockets, and there was that permanent cigarette hanging from his mouth. Wet black hair framed his tired face, messy bangs covering his eyes. He was dressed in all black, of course, the top couple buttons of his dark shirt undone to show off a collection of mismatched necklaces. Lazily, he puffed on the cigarette, tilting his head back to look at the night sky. He looked exhausted.
With shaking hands, Lizzy grabbed her bag from behind the counter and shot Barb a warning look. Her friend looked a little too excited.
Without another word, Lizzy heaved a deep sigh, turned around and headed towards the front door.
“Have fun!” Yelled Barb before the door closed behind Lizzy’s back, her friend’s boisterous laughter still audible from the street.
The air was still humid, Lizzy immediately noticed, and it was still raining, albeit only a little compared to the downpour from before. Jeff, hearing the bell, lowered his head to look Lizzy straight in the eyes. She felt a shiver run down her spine.
“Jeff,” Lizzy felt she had to break the silence first, “what are you doing here?”
A ghost of a smile graced Jeff’s lips before his face assumed its usual detached expression.
“Saw it was raining, thought you’d need someone to walk you home.” Jeff said, voice deep and scratchy. “And it’s Izzy now, remember?”
“Oh…” Lizzy whispered, cheeks red from embarrassment. “Izzy. Of course.”
Jeff - no, Izzy - took one final drag before throwing the cigarette somewhere to the side and pushing off the lamppost. He looked at Lizzy expectantly, and after she realized what he was waiting for and hurried towards him, cheeks still red, began to lead her down the street.
"So, um…” Lizzy began, squirming as the silence stretched on. “Why’d you come out here? I know you and Axl aren’t exactly.. talking. Right now.” She pulled the sleeves of her cardigan over her hands, shivering from the cold and the occasional raindrop that landed on the exposed skin of her collarbones.
Wordlessly, Izzy shrugged off his jacket and draped it over Lizzy’s shoulders, carefully fixing the collar so that it protected her neck against the cold water. Lizzy muttered a quiet thanks, clutching at the lapels to pull the fabric tighter around her. She let her hair fall from behind her ears to cover the raging blush that now danced across her face.
“Well, you know Axl. Everything’s always real fuckin’ serious with him.” Izzy chuckled, pulling out another cigarette and cupping his mouth to light it. He took a long drag, twisting his head slightly to the side to blow the smoke out in the opposite direction. Lizzy smiled. Izzy, despite his aloofness, always managed to stay considerate. “Just have to let it pass. Let him get over it.”
“Yeah. I guess.” Lizzy said, at a loss for a more lengthy reply. Izzy knew Axl since they were kids, and Lizzy knew him her whole life, at least before he ran away to LA. He was her brother, for god’s sake, and Izzy’s brother, in some sense, too. They both understood when to give Axl his space and let him fight his own internal battles. Sometimes it just wasn’t worth it to reach out first; Axl always seemed to come around if given his time, despite being one prideful motherfucker. But disturb him before he’s ready and… well. Izzy had sported enough bruises over the years to let them tell the story for him.
They continued walking in silence for a while, Izzy smoking his cigarette and Lizzy looking down at her feet. She wasn’t a kid anymore, far from it, but being near Izzy, or Jeff as she better knew him, still made her nervous. Axl and Izzy were always the cool kids to her, her brother a little less so; Izzy was older, more experienced, aloof. He always knew what he wanted to do with his life, always knew when to speak and when to stay silent, always a couple steps ahead of the other kids.
Lizzy still remembered other girls in her year giggling and talking about how Izzy was caught behind the bleachers with a girl; she remembered silently questioning what exactly they did to get them both in detention. It wasn’t the first time, far from it. Izzy had a certain charisma about him, an air of mystery girls seemed to enjoy. Lizzy knew that very well.
And now, walking right next to him, bumping shoulders, she couldn’t help but regress back into the shy kid that used to stutter every time her big brother brought his then new friend home. She knew she grew up, happy to be past that awkward phase when her arms felt too long for her body and her mood changed faster than the weather, but that didn’t stop her from feeling on edge every time Izzy casually leaned in too close or smiled at her too softly.
She was independent now. She left home, lived in the big city, made her own money; even Axl, meeting her at the bus station when she came to join him in LA all those months ago, admitted she had grown up, and noticeably so. And yet, with Izzy, she always fell a couple steps short. Too naive, too immature.
Lizzy braved a glance at him from the corner of her eye. Izzy was always beautiful, both as a boy and as the young man he grew into in LA. His side profile was sharp, the hard line of his nose and the soft curve of his lips glowing amongst the darkness of the dark city. His black hair curved around his ears, giving him that boyish charm, and the way he smoked could only be described as erotic: lazy, unhurried and somehow suggestive.
Lizzy snapped her gaze back forward, wrapping Izzy’s jacket tighter around herself. It smelled like him - cigarette smoke, wood and something faintly metallic. Guitar strings, perhaps.
“So, how’ve you been?” Izzy interrupted her silent spiraling, speaking unhurriedly, letting a little more of his midwestern drawl slither into the conversation. “How’s your writing?”
Lizzy chuckled softly, failing to stop self-deprecation from seeping through.
“Oh, you know how it is. Not much time to write with the diner and Axl and… everything else.” She said, finally braving a longer glance in his direction. He was looking at her intently, waiting for her to finish her thought. “Had another interview on Thursday, but I’m not sure it’ll go anywhere. Didn’t have much to show for myself, the last full piece I did was on that show you and Axl took me to a month ago. So… yeah. It’s going.”
He nodded in understanding, slowing down his step. It was still raining, Lizzy noticed as she looked at a raindrop sliding down his forearm before disappearing behind the sleeve of his loose shirt.
“Shit, aren’t you cold?” Lizzy panicked, trying to twist out of the comfort of the jacket.
Izzy immediately shook his head, gently grabbing her wrists to stop her from forcing the jacket back into his possession. They were stood in the middle of the street now, face to face as Izzy delicately readjusted the fabric, gesturing for her to slip her icy hands into the sleeves. Lizzy gave up fighting, letting her arms fall to her sides and silently staring at the concentrated look on his face as he carefully pulled the zipper all the way up to her chin.
Giving her another nod and looking pleased with the way she seemed to drown in the abundance of leather now enveloping her, Izzy pulled out another cigarette. He really was a chain smoker through and through.
“Nah, you keep it. Knew you wouldn’t have anything warm with you, so I really just brought this for you.” Izzy offered her another small smile before turning around and walking ahead, motioning for her to follow. They fell back into step next to each other. Lizzy was ready to endure another long stretch of silence, not as uncomfortable with the idea anymore, but Izzy had other ideas.
“And about the writing… I get it. I wasn’t able to come up with anything good for weeks before me and Axl fought. And now it’s kinda flowing again.” After blowing another cloud of smoke away from her face, Izzy stretched his hand out to her, offering her the cigarette. Lizzy gratefully accepted, taking a long drag and enjoying the warmth that spread through her body as she inhaled. “It’s really a come and go thing. Don’t beat yourself up over it, something’ll happen soon and you won’t be able to put the pen down.”
Lizzy nodded in agreement, taking another long drag before passing the cigarette back over. Izzy and Axl had very different ideas when it came to Lizzy coming in contact with the dark underbelly of the LA scene: Axl seemed to be stuck in big brother mode, rushing to protect her form anything indecent that may come her way, while Izzy argued that she was old enough to make her own decisions. It was a point of friction for the two, something that seemed to come up again and again.
Lizzy remembered the first time Izzy offered to take her with him and Axl to a proper show at the Whiskey, to which Axl responded with an immediate and harsh refusal; who knew what kind of weirdos would be there, just waiting to take advantage of his little sister. Lizzy was tempted to point out that Axl didn’t treat girls with much decency either, but was promptly told to stay quiet as Axl described in vivid color to a discouraged Izzy what kind of danger waited for her were she to embrace their sex-drugs-and-rock-n-roll lifestyle.
Since then, it was a sore topic; Lizzy only smoked on her way to and back from the diner and chose not to push her luck whenever her brother agreed to take her out, albeit only to quiet shows in small bars nobody else seemed to really care about.
Lizzy had to agree that she wasn’t living under a dictatorship or anything like that. She came and went from their little apartment as she pleased, went out with the handful of friends she made at the diner and outside of it whenever she felt up for it and even went on a handful of dates. It was just that Axl refused to involve her in ‘band business’ as he called it, turning down any of her attempts to acquaint herself better with the life he built for himself in LA.
Lizzy understood where he was coming from, related to the crushing desire to keep her loved ones safe and away from harm, but it still stung sometimes when Axl came home in the early hours of the morning, telling a tale of another exciting night only to clamp up when Lizzy would shyly ask if she could tag along sometime.
That’s why being with Izzy felt like a breath of fresh air. He never treated her like a child, refusing to talk to her like she was just Axl’s little sister and seeking her input whenever she had something valuable to say. It truly felt like he respected her, in that silent, attentive way of his, taking a step back whenever she had to make a grown-up decision and only offering his advice when he felt it was truly necessary.
Turning her head to look at him, Lizzy encountered an expectant stare, remembering that he was waiting for a response.
“Yeah, but it’s different for musicians. For you, it can be like a… good day, or a high, or a girl. For me, I actually need to see a good show to write about it.” Lizzy offered, gaining courage and reaching over to pluck the cigarette from Izzy’s cold fingers. “And I would go see one, it’s not like I need Axl’s permission, it’s just that there’s been less and less time lately. With the bills, and the diner, and everything in between, it’s like I’m not always up for it. I wish I was, but I’m just not.”
Izzy hummed in pensive agreement, accepting the cigarette Lizzy handed back over. He looked tired but thoughtful, staring down at his feet as he stepped in yet another puddle.
“I could take you sometime. If you want.” Izzy suddenly said, looking at her as if to gauge her reaction.
Lizzy stopped abruptly, leaving them standing under the dim light of a lonely lamppost. She returned his stare, eyes wide in disbelief, looking him up and down again, from the soles of his run-down boots to the hoop earring peeking out from under his hair; trying to find evidence that Izzy had a death wish or was itching for a shiny new black eye.
“I mean-“ Lizzy started, mouth falling shut, analyzing Izzy’s serious yet detached expression. “Are you sure? Even with Axl… being the way he is about this stuff?”
“He doesn’t have to know.” Izzy answered simply, letting a small mischievous smile take over his features.
“But-“ Lizzy tried again, failing to find the right words. Izzy continued observing her, still smiling, still waiting patiently for her to finish her sentence. Lizzy knew that he understood what he was offering; knew that he was aware of just how Axl would react to his best friend, the person he trusted most in this corrupt city, doing the one thing he explicitly forbid him from doing. So why should she bother explaining it to him? “Just… are you sure?”
There was a hint of insecurity in her tone, seeking to make sure that Izzy would really take that kind of risk for her. He owed her nothing. There was little holding them together except for Axl, and even that didn’t matter much now that him and Izzy were fighting.
But going to a show with Izzy… oh, that was a dream come true. Izzy wasn’t particularly boisterous or outgoing, but he knew people. He had connections. And he had taste. If he was taking a girl, or anyone really, to go see a band play, then that band was worth seeing live. Then that band was worth writing about. And he could lead her backstage, maybe arrange for an impromptu interview even, give her the chance she’d been grasping for ever since she left Lafayette for LA in search of better horizons.
Lizzy felt a spark of premature excitement budding somewhere in her chest. This could really be it for her.
“Yeah, I’m sure.” Izzy said with no hesitation, his face returning to that serious expression. “Would I offer to do something if I wasn’t sure I wanted to do it?”
That was also true. Izzy never gave promises if he didn’t plan to follow through on them, and he rarely went out of his way to do something if the idea was unpleasant to him. He was just like that, straightforward and unapologetic. He rarely had regrets.
“Then.. yeah. Absolutely.” Lizzy breathed, fighting a bubbly look of eagerness off her face. “I’d love that.”
“Great.” Izzy smiled, putting out the butt of the cigarette that had long stopped burning on the lamppost. As he turned to look at her again, Lizzy noted that somehow, he looked even more beautiful then, skin pale and borderline translucent under the fluorescent light. “Then I’ll pick a date and call you. Just make sure Axl doesn’t get to the phone first.”
Lizzy grinned in return, bashful now for some reason. She wanted to thank him somehow, but was at a loss for the right words. Being in the city was difficult sometimes, lonely more often than not; some people were kind, yes, but they felt foreign, and rarely had genuine or good intentions. But now, she felt like she had someone in her corner. Someone on her side.
Wordlessly, they continued walking to her and Axl’s apartment building in shared silence. Lizzy hid a shy smile as she looked down at her feet, burying her nose deeper into the collar of Izzy’s jacket. Sometimes, she gave Izzy timid glances from the corner of her eye, observing his confident step and listening to his steady breathing. It was even more quiet now, the street completely empty except for the two of them.
It only took them a couple of minutes to reach their destination. The building was dark and looming, the only source of light being the rare windows that still emitted a soft glow. Absentmindedly, Lizzy noted that hers and Axl’s wasn’t one often them; either her brother had already gone to bed or finally conceded to his friends’ pleas to come out for the night. Either was fine for her. It was time Axl came out of his funk, anyways.
Lizzy stopped next to the steps leading to the entrance door. Both her and Izzy knew it wasn’t a good idea for him to test his luck and come up; after all, Axl could be at home and still up.
The rain was gaining force again, forcing Lizzy to pull the sleeves of the jacket farther to cover her hands entirely. Izzy stood facing her with his hands in his jeans pockets, eyebrows furrowing as he saw her shivering. Hesitantly, Lizzy took a step closer, having to lean her head back a bit to look Izzy in the eye.
“So… this is me.” She said, smiling softly. “Thanks for walking me home.”
Izzy shrugged, as if to say that it was no big deal, a faint twinkle playing in his eyes. He was entirely drenched, wet shirt sticking to his torso, but no less alluring; if anything, the way his hair now lay flat against his neck gave his face more of an open, earnest look.
Timidly, Lizzy stood up on her tiptoes, leaning in to give Izzy a shy kiss on the cheek. His skin was wet, and the motion was a bit awkward as Lizzy had to tilt her head up to reach him, but Izzy’s cheek was warm and slightly scratchy with unshaven stubble, and that made up for everything.
Standing back on her heels, Lizzy was anxious to see Izzy’s reaction; however, before she could do so, he leaned down and covered her lips with his.
The kiss was soft and languid, dominated by Izzy who moved slowly, tasting the rainwater on her lips. It was unhurried and somewhat bashful as they became acquainted with each other, completely differently this time, sharing warm breathes and soft sighs.
Slowly, Lizzy reached out to ball her hands into the lapels of Izzy’s drenched shirt, brining him closer so that their chests were almost touching. In response, Izzy laid his hands on her waist, pulling her in and closing the distance completely.
They stood like that for a while, kissing next to the door of Lizzy’s apartment building, disregarding the rain and the cold that threatened to seep underneath their clothes and nip at exposed skin. Izzy’s lips were soft, careful as he explored, becoming more and more daring with each press of his lips.
Slowly, they separated, breathing heavily. The kiss wasn’t dirty, it was anything but, and yet Lizzy still felt out of breath, elated. Her cheeks were flaming red despite the biting chill, eyes glazed over.
She let go of his shirt, smoothing out any wrinkles she might have created as he lifted his hands from her waist and let them fall limply at his sides. They stood in silence for a couple of seconds, looking into each other’s eyes, searching for the right words.
“Goodnight, Lizzy,” Izzy whispered, giving her one final smile before taking a step back, “I’ll see you soon.”
“Goodnight.” She muttered in response before he turned around and headed down the street.
She raised two fingers to run over her lips hesitantly, smiling to herself at nothing in particular. Abruptly, she turned, ran up the stairs and pushed at the door before disappearing into the darkness of the parlor.
Next morning, she woke up to find Izzy’s jacket hanging from the back of a chair standing next to her bed. She wasn’t worried, though; she knew there would be an opportunity to return it to its owner. Very soon.