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‘’What’s your name, little boy?’’
Scrawny, small, and thin, the boy looks up at the man who appeared in his forest.
He doesn’t consider the forest as his own, actually. But it’s the only place he knows, the only place he has been since he has memory.
‘’You don’t know?’’
The boy denies. With his friends, he doesn’t need a name. The only things that matter are playing, exploring, and finding food and warmth when winter comes.
Nothing else.
‘’You’ll be N, then. Natural Harmonia.’’
The boy looks at the man. He resembles him slightly, but he doesn’t recognize the look in the other’s eyes.
Much later, he’ll know that it’s greed.
Zorua appears from nowhere.
N lives in a castle now. He doesn’t know exactly where it is, but Ghetsis assured him that this is the best place for him to be. The man provides him with food and a warm room, so he still says nothing.
The worst thing is that he doesn’t get to meet his friends, because the man doesn’t let them enter the castle.
N is sad, but he guesses it’s only temporary. At least, that’s what Ghetsis told him.
‘’Who are you?’’
N barely uses his voice. He didn’t need to, back then, in the forest. And now, with solitude surrounding every corner of his room, he still doesn’t need to.
But after having dinner, he goes back to his room and there’s a little Pokémon in his bed, sleeping.
It’s like a fox, with dark and shiny fur all over it. N approaches it, letting it sniff his hand before touching it. Its eyes glow when they look at him, and N smiles after a long time.
‘’You’re so cute.’’ N mutters to himself, and warmth envelops him. ‘’What’s your name?’’
The Pokémon yawns, stretching before jumping to lie on N’s shoulder.
‘’Zorua, right?’’
The Pokémon makes a tiny sound, and that’s it. N already knows.
He’s back at being with his friends.
Ghetsis doesn’t know about Zorua. At least, that’s what N thinks.
The man never sets a foot in his room, but two little girls begin to be around him. They help him understand how to communicate with humans, they help him learn how to understand the big, vast world that surrounds them.
‘’What are your friends called?’’
Curious little N never stops exploring. He’s always eager to know more about everything. Let it be Pokémon or humans, he’s always asking.
‘’She’s Gothorita, N.’’ Anthea replies, smiling fondly at her friend. ‘’She’s always with me.’’
‘’And mine’s Kirlia.’’ Concordia adds. Kirlia looks up at N, and he embraces the peaceful feeling that being with Pokémon again gives him.
Zorua is resting in his bed as the kids play in N’s room, but he’s not sleeping. Since he appeared, N stopped having nightmares, and he’s grateful for that.
He doesn’t even know why he started having them, because back in the forest, he didn’t. Maybe he’s nervous because he’s in a new environment, and if that’s the case, he tries to pull through. He wants to become a hero, save every Pokémon, and he wants to meet even more new friends.
So he has to be brave and not be scared of the nightmares. He has to do as Guetsis says, and as he says, he’ll be a hero.
N hasn't been touched, never.
Sure, back at the forest, he slept surrounded by Pokémon, but humans have never touched him. Concordia and Anthea hug all the time, and they even hug their friends, but he has never been hugged, nor touched.
He doesn’t know if he prefers that over having Ghetsis slapping him on the cheek.
It happens on a random day (he doesn’t know if it’s Monday or Friday, days just pass by). Ghetsis was explaining something to him, mythology, N recalls. Something about the legendary Pokémon in the Unova region, but he doesn’t remember that well.
He let his mind wander as Ghetsis was explaining that to him; he couldn’t really concentrate. Last night, Zorua wasn’t with him, and he had a nightmare again.
‘’Are you listening?’’
He doesn’t get to answer; a slap shuts him up before he does.
‘’I expect respect, little boy. I put a roof over your head, you know?’’
N’s mind is quiet. He can’t say anything, his mouth dry.
‘’Do you understand?’’
N nods, and the day goes by after that. His cheek stings, but he doesn’t register the pain.
N doesn’t know how old he is. He grows up, and his bones hurt from it. He gains some centimeters, and little by little, he doesn’t have to look up that much to look at Ghetsis.
‘’Are you like my dad?’’
N doesn’t know what a dad is, but Anthea and Concordia had told him a couple of things about families. How they protect and care for each other, even when times are tough. He doesn’t know if families also hit each other, because he doesn’t want to ask, but he’d never hit a Pokémon.
Maybe that’s how he is.
‘’Why are you asking?’’ Ghetsis doesn’t look up from his documents on the table. He’s frowning, trying to understand something that N doesn’t know.
N keeps quiet, looking at him. His ribs hurt, but when he’s with Ghetsis, he doesn’t like showing pain because he doesn’t want him getting angrier.
‘’Do you think I could ever be your dad?’’
Ghetsis' voice has an edge to it, something dangerous. N doesn’t know what to answer. The man frowns again, finally looking up from the documents and studying N, who’s fidgeting with his fingers.
‘’Yeah, you could say I’m your dad.’’ He finally answers, returning to the papers.
N doesn’t know if he likes the answer or not.
When he returns to his room, Zorua is sleeping. But when N closes the door, it opens its eyes.
‘’Hi, friend.’’ N greets it, softly. ‘’Do you have a dad?’’
The Pokémon looks at him confused, but the feeling it emanates is still warm, so N smiles.
‘’We’re family, then.’’ N answers, looking at Zorua. The Pokémon seems happy with the answer. ‘’We’re going to be a family, and we’re going to love each other.’’
N doesn’t know what love feels like, but he knows what the feeling is because he has read about it in some books in the library. He doesn’t know if it’s the warmth when he looks at Pokémon, or the feeling Anthea and Concordia share.
He still doesn’t know, but if what he has read is true, he can’t wait to feel it.
N is older. At least, that’s what he thinks. He doesn’t need to look up at Ghetsis anymore to look into his eyes.
And, as time passes, Ghetsis gets more and more infatuated with the legendary Unova Pokémon. Reshiram and Zekrom are like the gods of the region, and although N isn’t convinced that they exist, the images he sees in books are powerful. He doesn’t get any feeling from looking at them, but he thinks that if he were to be in front of them someday, he’d feel something different than what he has felt his entire life.
Zorua is acting strange, but N doesn’t know what’s happening. The little Pokémon sneaks out at night, leaving him alone in his room, but N doesn’t get nightmares anymore. Instead, he has these weird dreams in which he meets Reshiram.
When he awakens, he feels empty. Emptiness isn’t something new to him, but every time it happens, Zorua is already in the room.
N doesn’t know how he sneaks out, because his room doesn’t have any windows, but he doesn’t want to take away Zorua’s freedom to wander the world. If something, he sometimes feels envy, because he wants to be able to do just as Zorua does.
‘’Reshiram has to awaken.’’ Ghetsis begins explaining. The classroom isn’t even a classroom; he just cleared up a table in the library and that’s it. ‘’The hero will awaken it, and that’s why you were chosen, N.’’
Him? Awaken a legendary Pokémon? The thought almost makes him laugh. But, deep inside him, he wants to. He wants to be in front of Reshiram and Zekrom, and ask them the questions he has harbored inside for a long time.
‘’In a year from now, you’ll awaken them. And the world will change. We’ll create the perfect world, my son.’’
My son . These words disgust N to no end, but he doesn’t know why. Aren’t families supposed to love each other unconditionally?
Will he awaken the Pokémon? If he does, maybe he’ll learn how to love.
‘’Anthea, do you love Concordia?’’
They’re at the top of the castle. It’s a windy day, and Gothitelle and Gardevodoir are next to them, guarding. They evolved some time ago. Maybe people evolve, too. Maybe growing up is the human way of evolving.
‘’Yeah, we love each other.’’ Concordia answers for Anthea, smiling a bit. ‘’Do you love us, N?’’
N still doesn’t know what love is. Is it the feeling of wanting to protect them? The warmth that emanates from their friends as they grow up? He doesn’t know if what he feels is love.
‘’I think so.’’ N finally answers, but he’s unsure of his answer. The girls must feel it too, because they smile.
‘’It’s fine if you don’t know, N.’’ Anthea answers warmly. ‘’We’re sure that you’ll do a great job with Reshiram and Zekrom.’’
Is he the hero? He doesn’t believe in himself. But if everyone around him says so, then it must be the truth.
‘’Of course.’’ He answers, looking at the clouds. The sky is grayish, a storm is coming. ‘’I’ll create the perfect world.’’
In a year, the castle is in flames.
Reshiram awakened in fury, and its flames are eating up everything around them. Ghetsis is furious, and N can’t do anything but stare at the Pokémon.
‘’Do you know the truth?’’ He asks in the middle of the flames, his throat scratchy from the screaming. ‘’Tell me! Am I the hero you’re looking for?’’
Reshiram screams, and the feelings N gets from it are far from what love is supposed to feel like. Why is it furious? N is doing everything Ghetsis said.
An explosion blows up the tower, and all the torches extinguish. It’s dark, and the flames cast shadows around Reshiram.
‘’I don’t know what went wrong.’’ Ghetsis mutters. He doesn’t dare to leave just yet. ‘’N, talk to him. Make him understand.’’
But N already tried. He tried, but Reshiram won’t listen.
He isn’t the hero Unova needs.
In a whim, he takes one last look at Reshiram and jumps from the tower, climbing with agility to the door that leads to the corridor. When he arrives at his room, it’s empty. Zorua isn’t there.
‘’Zorua!’’ N screams. It’s the second time in his life he’s screaming, and his voice sounds strange even for him. ‘’Where are you?’’
Nothing. It’s not silent, but he doesn’t hear his friend.
The fire is eating the corridors when he leaves his room, and he runs to the stairs. He doesn’t really want to escape, because he doesn’t know what’s beyond the big doors.
But if he wants to survive, he needs to.
The door is scalding hot when he tries to open it, and he ignores the pain in his palms as he tries to escape.
The bridge that connects the castle with the forest is burnt. The only way he can escape is by jumping, but he can’t. It’s too much distance. He falls to his knees, looking up as Reshiram approaches, flying toward where he is.
Kill me , he thinks. I’m not the hero you’re looking for. I’m of no use anymore to anyone.
But Reshiram lands softly at his side. Even though everything is burning around them, N doesn’t feel scared. He looks at Reshiram with tears blurring his vision, and its blue eyes look back at him.
Reshiram, then, makes him feel something different, far greater than what he has ever felt.
‘’You…’’’ N mutters, tears falling down his cheeks.
He doesn’t elaborate. He lets Reshiram take him away, flying above the river that surrounds the castle.
They fly for a short time, and when N is starting to calm down, Reshiram lets him down in the forest. At least, somewhere that N is familiar with.
Reshiram lands softly on the grass, and with its snout, it pushes N.
‘’Where are you going?’’ N asks, but it’s in vain. Reshiram looks at him as if it understands, and looks at its side.
Then, a Pokémon that N is familiar with appears.
‘’Zorua…?’’
But it’s not Zorua. He kind of looks like it, and the vibe is familiar to N.
‘’No, Zoroark.’’ N corrects himself, smiling at his friend. ‘’You came back.’’
The Pokémon approaches him and looks at Reshiram. N doesn’t know if they’re communicating, but from the looks of it, at least they understand each other.
Reshiram then spreads its wings, and with one last look at N, it flies away.
N looks at how his new friend disappears on the horizon, and then looks at Zoroark.
‘’It’s you and me again, my friend.’’ N says. ‘’Shall we start over?’’
Love is something that N is starting to understand.
He begins his own journey with Zoroark. He meets trainers who insist on battling with him, but he always declines. He doesn’t want his friend getting hurt, so he just doesn’t get involved in battles.
Ghetsis disappeared, and with that, he feels like he can breathe. His ribs don’t hurt anymore, and his cheek doesn’t sting.
Instead, he walks and walks, meeting new friends, exploring different cities, trying new dishes, sleeping outside, with the stars as the only witnesses.
It’s a long journey, he supposes. He doesn’t know what he’s looking for, but he knows that he hasn’t found it yet. Zoroark is by his side, and he isn’t scared anymore. He’s a little sad because he doesn’t know what happened with Anthea and Concordia, but a part of him is relieved to leave the past behind.
Maybe he should change his name, his identity. Maybe then he could detach from anything that ties him to his past.
But isn’t my past what made me who I am?
There are a lot of questions inside his head, and unfortunately, not a single soul he can tell about. He sometimes talks to Zoroark, and although he knows he’s listening, he still doesn’t get an answer with words.
He senses the appreciation his friend feels towards him, though. And that’s something that N is grateful for.
His journey started when Reshiram rescued him from the castle, but once again, he feels as if he’s starting again.
Accumula Town is one of the first places he visits, and his blood goes cold in his veins when he sees Ghetsis again.
His speech about Pokémon liberation isn’t new –if N’s being honest, he kind of agrees with the motives, but he has known Ghetsis for long enough to know that his intentions are never clear as he wants them to believe–, and the feeling of disgust isn’t new either.
If Ghetsis sees him, he doesn’t show it. Instead, he finishes his speech and leaves. N stands there alone, but when he turns his head to the side, he sees a girl looking at the same place Ghetsis was standing a while ago.
‘’What does your team think about you?’’
The girl doesn’t get startled. Instead, she pulls out his poke ball and lets out an Oshawott and Pidove, who happily stand by her side.
The feeling N gets from her Pokémon is something completely new. The bond he senses is one that, although it seems new, it’s strong enough that her partners trust in her.
‘’I see…’’ N mutters, looking at the girl in her eyes. ‘’I’m N, and I’m happy to say that your Pokémon trust you.’’
The girl scoffs, looking adoringly at her partners.
‘’I’m Hilda.’’ She says, giving him her hand to shake.
He accepts the handshake.
He doesn’t know why, but it feels like a dangerous promise.
It’s one of the first times he gets to know a new person who isn’t involved with his past, and the feeling is weird, but not bad per se.
He doesn’t get to see Hilda again for a couple of weeks, during which he still gets to discover new Pokémon, following Team Plasma’s plans. He still hasn’t bumped into Ghetsis again, and as time passes, his ideology about Pokémon begins to shake.
It’s true, he has never liked to fight with them. Combats seem like a waste of time, because he doesn’t want his friends getting hurt.
But I’m still Team Plasma’s king , he thinks. And it’s the truth. Should he get back to Ghetsis? Back to something he knows, something he sides with.
But then, he remembers the hits, and he isn’t so sure anymore. Zoroark must think the same as him, because it pushes his hand with its snout.
‘’I know.’’ N sighs, petting Zoroark’s head. ‘’I know we shouldn’t but… if we come back, maybe we can prevent awakening the dragons once again.’’
When Reshiram helped him escape, he didn’t understand what it said to him, but now he does. And all his friend wanted was for Ghetsis to stop his plans, because the world was already in harmony.
But what if he’s really the chosen one to stop all of that?
Nacrene City is where he meets with Hilda again. It’s not much of a coincidence, really, because he sensed that she was after the gym badges. So he encounters her there, and he challenges her. Not with Zoroark, because he doesn’t want to put his best friend through that, but with a new team he wants to liberate after the challenge.
He loses, but he expected it. She’s strong, and with a new evolved Dewott, the fight is over in little time. Her team has improved a lot, but he isn’t sad that he lost.
His curiosity towards the girl and her team only grows.
‘’If you’re so good, why do you capture the Pokémon and make them fight?’’
Hilda stays silent for some seconds, looking at Dewott. The Pokémon looks at her with curiosity, standing in front of her in case N makes a wrong move.
N admires that.
‘’I don’t make them fight.’’ She ends up saying. ‘’And they come with me because they want. I rarely have them in their poke balls, so they can choose to run away.’’
‘’But they don’t.’’ N adds, nodding to himself.
She nods too, and Tranquill flies down at that moment, resting at her side.
‘’They trust you that much.’’ N says, and Hilda doesn’t answer.
Her eyes show determination and confidence in her ability.
‘’You’re going far, kid.’’ N mutters, casting down his glance.
He gets her mentality about Pokémon, but he isn’t sure if he shares it yet.
N continues travelling, but when he arrives at Nimbasa City, he can’t escape his fate anymore. When he sets foot in the city, a team Plasma member spots him and approaches him before N can ignore him.
‘’King! Ghetsis told me you’d arrive today.’’ The member says, and N feels himself grow pale.
How did Ghetsis know that I would be here?
Upon seeing that N doesn’t answer, the member continues.
‘’That damn kid is here, too.’’
That picks up N’s interest.
‘’Where is she?’’
‘’She’s going towards the amusement park.’’
Without any more words, N starts walking.
‘’I’m the king of Team Plasma.’’
N can’t escape his fate. That’s what he learnt all of his life, and it’s the thing that Reshiram confirmed to him back when his friend rescued him from the castle.
Pokémon lives are precious, and if to save them he needs to follow Ghetsis; that’s what he’ll do.
‘’I work with Ghetsis to help the Pokémon.’’
But I understand if you don’t share my motives, he thinks. Hilda is silent beside him, looking at the horizon. They’re at the highest point of the Ferris wheel, and the sun is setting for the day.
The orange light illuminates the cabin, and when they start the descent, Hilda talks.
‘’I don’t think you really believe in all that crap.’’ She says, finally looking at him. For once, her Pokémon aren’t with her. It’s only them. ‘’But if you’re following Ghetsis, it means you’re my enemy. Team Plasma only wants to use Pokémon to follow their ideals. What about what Pokémon want?’’
‘’You can be smart, Hilda.’’ N only says, taking a seat.
In a couple of minutes, they’ll be on the floor again, and their paths will be different. But, for these couple of minutes, N will try.
‘’If what Ghetsis wants is to bring back the legendary dragons, I’ll stop him. And if I have to fight you, then that’s what I’ll do.’’
N can see that all that isn’t what Hilda wants to say; he sees in her eyes that there are many words more that want to escape.
‘’If that’s what you want, I’ll do it.’’
But that’s not what N wants. He wishes that Hilda would understand, but she doesn’t. Are his motives bad? That’s what he has believed all his life. He indeed doubts Ghetsis sometimes, but he kind of agrees that Pokémon should be free of humans.
What he knows for sure is that he’ll finish his journey. And maybe once he does, he’ll see everything clearer.
‘’You freak!’’
His words don’t hurt anymore. Back when he was a child, he felt like a freak only because he could communicate with Pokémon. Besides Anthea and Concordia, he didn’t have any more human friends.
‘’No one with a human heart can communicate with Pokémon.’’
I know, father, he wants to say, because that’s what he has felt all his life. For the longest time, he didn’t think he was human at all. But what he doesn’t doubt now is that being able to communicate with Pokémon is a blessing, because that’s what made him who he is.
Reshiram is at his side, looking weary at Ghetsis. Hydreigon is at his side, ready to strike, but a buzz in the cavern makes both N and Ghetsis look at the entrance, right when Zekrom makes an appearance.
‘’You!...’’
It’s the third time in his life that N screams, and he thinks he’ll never get used to it. Hilda gets down off Zekrom and stays by N's side, looking at him with a grin.
‘’I knew you didn’t believe in all that crap.’’ It’s all she says, and N smiles.
He doesn’t want to say that sometimes he even doubts himself, that he still doesn’t know what love feels like –even though he believes he’s close to it– and that, maybe, he isn’t a good person.
But all his doubts evaporate as Zekrom strikes along Reshiram to attack Hydreigon, and in the middle of the battle, the only thing he has in mind is that maybe, all of his doubts are normal.
That being a good or bad person is a subjective fact, that maybe, he’s gray, because not everything has to be black and white. That the love he has been trying so hard to understand is what guides him to protect all of his friends, and that even if he’s his father’s son, he doesn’t have to end up like him.
‘’Let’s do this, N.’’ Hilda says without a trace of doubt in his voice.
In that cavern, he finally understands.
‘’Let’s do this.’’