Work Text:
Hua Cheng didn't remember be this unlucky for centuries. Maybe, for a life; and that was a lot, taking into consideration that he was born behind a really bad star.
He was acting weird, he knew that, but, what else could he do? He never had been known for being good at pretending.
They were there. A place he didn't think he would return, or at least, not in that conditions. That was the cave of Ten Thousand Gods, or, better said, the cave of his only god. The martial god that was right by his side. The god he needed to lie to.
He knew that place like the palm of his hand, and while His Highness was unconscious, he got the time to cover the faces of the majority of the statues and to left the annoying pair of Dianxia servants in a pit, tied with silk. It was a shame the time was against him.
He really, really, really wanted to go out there as fast as possible. It was not only Bai Wuxian what he was scared for. Maybe, the fear couldn't be compared.
And it was all the fault of that two martial gods. He felt furious about them at that moment for causing the avalanche with their stupid and endless discussions, and also to say that kind of things, but, he knew they were important to Dianxia as well, much to his regret. His intention was not to hurt them, but to make the things easier to, actually, flee out of that place.
But, Dianxia was really smart. This was one of the things that made he fell in love with him, but now it felt like some type of nightmare. It was worse knowing how deductive could be His Highness, he knows so far that he suspected something already just by talking a little since he woke up and knowing it couldn't calm him down.
Hua Cheng would've rather that Dianxia would never find that place, with old and badly handcraft statues that Misfortune made in the past. If Dianxia wanted, he could sculpt an exquisite statue, but the ones there, his firsts tryings, were not good enough to be seen for his muse. It can be an insult, although he knew in his heart that Dianxia would appreciate that. It could never be as bad as his calligraphy anyways.
The two of them walked, and for probably the first time, it wasn't Xie Lian who was leading the way. Hua Cheng explained it with the luck, but, even himself couldn't believe that. Maybe for the sake of his face, Dianxia just let it go.
He felt so nervous, but that just get worse when Xie Lian heard some voices and run away letting him behind, right in the direction of the pit where Nan Feng and Fu Yao —did he need to still pretending they weren't Mu Qing and Feng Xin yet?— were tied by the silk.
Maybe he could take advantage of that and cover some more statues and paintings. Oh god, they were a lot.
He could think about going for Dianxia to get out of there but, now he just discovered the annoying pair, that would be useless, he would be taking them with him anyways.
That really felt like some type of disaster. At that moment, he really could try to roll his dices and he could believe they would show other numbers instead of the usual sixes.
He commanded his phantom butterflies to cover all the statues faces; saw them do their job using his right eye, and also could watch the scene with His Highness and his pair of servants.
He laughed under his breath looking how stupid they were to reveal their dumb excuse of pretending —he wasn't who to criticize, but, hey, that was funny— in front of Xie Lian. Heh, he had discovered that a lot of time ago.
That realization made him feel a little frightened. Could he know by now about his true feelings? Did he notice something? They were so close now, maybe more than Hua Cheng could ever dreamed before. But, he wouldn't think about being another kind of close to His Highness, like, never. Although it's true that he never tried seriously to conceal what he felt, or, maybe, to somehow make the way into the heart of his love.
But if Xie Lian discover the statues that he made too, the nature of his feelings would be exposed. And, what did Xie Lian would think about? He could live just like they were right now, he could gladly give his life for Xie Lian one, two, three times, everytime. But, if Xie Lian reject him, what he could do then?
In the past, he could had lived for hundreds of years while not knowing what means to having a home. To be so happy. To finally be capable and strong enough to protect the person he loves and give him all he can to make him live better. But now...
The fear, a feeling he didn't remembered, go through him like an icy spear. He really needed to take them outside as far as possible.
He walked, but immediately he ran, while hearing the conversation.
"You trust him that much? Will he come?".
"He will come".
The certainty in his voice made Hua Cheng smile. Until they began to talk about the red line that tied their hands. Oh god, was Xie Lian pretending not to understand even when the pair were showing him how suspicious was that? Or maybe he didn't really care?
That was so confusing but he didn't need to think about that for so long. They needed to go out the grotto.
"Gege? Are you down there?".
"San Lang! I'm here!".
That would've so easy if they were just the two of them. But, obviously Xie Lian couldn't left Feng Xin and Mu Qing behind, even when Hua Cheng was feeling nervous that they were with him and suspecting the things he didn't want them to know.
The tense atmosphere just got worse when Feng Xin tried to touch one of the statues. How troublesome could they be? His patient had a limit and they were surpassing it time by time. The discussion went into a death point, and they walked over.
Until the annoying pair really managed a way to separate him from Xie Lian.
Oh god, they really knew how to made him go above to furious. He really knew —at least in a rational way— that they were important to His Highness. But for now, in that precise moment, he really wanted to hurt them, to get them out of the way, to kill them. It was his bad to just being thinking about leave that grotto, and to underestimate the two martial gods, maybe, but he never thought they were going to do such a thing that could put them in that risk.
Despite everything, he took them to that cave for save them to be buried alive by the avalanche. It felt a little unfair, taking into consideration he, technically, save them, and as a paid, they were causing as much trouble they could.
He hit the rocks with his scimitar while he tried his best to think on cold mind. Maybe they run, getting more and more into the cave. What a mess. He used the butterflies to find them, and with some more hits the rocks fell and he could pass through.
He was so furious and desperate that those charms wouldn't be a thing to stop him.
E-Ming returned to his waist, and was trembling like crazy, maybe for rage, maybe for fear, maybe for both.
He was going to arrive too late. He knew and he felt devastated by the realization. While he ran, he couldn't watch more. Not like he couldn't, more like he didn't want to see the rejection, the disgust in the face of the person he loves the most when he discovered the truth.
He ran, feeling again like a lost child, the son even his parents didn't want, the phenomenon, the unwanted monster.
The silk could not stop them to see the statues and the murals. He questioned himself why he didn't destroyed that entire mountain before, before this time. Maybe he didn't really think he could be so unlucky until it was so late to do a thing.
He just walked into the grotto, his mind in chaos, but looking nonchalantly like always.
"Didn't I say before, when you're in someone else's territory, don't touch things?".
The three of them froze. Maybe he arrived to fast to them, but it was to late for him.
Xie Lian said that he wanted to see the murals, the pair of gods were stopping him, and, at least that was something he couldn't argue. But the disgust and rejection just revealed that they already knew the truth of his past, and of course, the nature of his feelings.
Could be possible that Xie Lian didn't know already what was going on? He just could doubt that.
He haunted them, like the phantom of the past he really was. It didn't matter how fast they ran, or how much did they fight, he could catch them.
Xie Lian didn't say nothing. And Hua Cheng wasn't able to see at Dianxia, maybe he wasn't worthy for him, not with the truth behind his actions finally unveiled.
The two martial gods wanted to keep away Hua Cheng from Xie Lian. And the Crown Prince didn't say a thing. It was something weird in that situation, but, did it really care at this point? Hua Cheng really wished for take Xie Lian out of that place, and stay like nothing of that had happened ever.
"Don't come over!".
He could have laughed. He could've took that nonchalantly and answer something very acid. But this time, it hit different. Knowing that he was disgusting, and maybe disgusting for Dianxia, was really hurtful. He stopped his tracks and replied, calmly.
"What do you two mean by this?".
"You don't need to pretend anymore. This is your lair. We've already seen what's going on with these statues of Gods. Also, we've seen all of your paintings!".
After Feng Xin said that, Hua Cheng felt afraid for the confirmation. His voice lowered, he couldn't help but to ask for the answer he really didn't want to hear.
"Your Highness, you also saw it?".
The answer didn't arrive. That was strange, as strange as not calling him Gege as usual, but he, feeling the way he was feeling, could not stop for thinking the worst.
Feng Xin gave him an ultimatum, to keep away of the Crown Prince. He didn't care.
A fight started, the child that born under the star of Misfortune, the one that fell and ruined the festival, the youngster that went to war and die for Dianxia like that was his greatest honor; versus the general that expulsed him of the army and the loyal servant of the Crown Prince of Xian Le.
However, Hua Cheng felt like all the power he had, all the things he had done, all of that was useless in that situation. He could win the battle, but the war was lost already.
He was furious, frustrated, a devastated Devastation, but never resignation. He could only discharge himself with his punches just because he would not wanted to kill them, they could never get him apart from Xie Lian. Xie Lian was the only that could decide that.
He punched Mu Qing face until he bleed, but his hand froze midair when Mu Qing said why he expulsed him of the military camp.
"... Too disgusting!".
He didn't want that matter to be discussed just in front of Xie Lian, the things were wrong enough to let them get worse, so he asked about what were they saidthat caused the avalanche.
Mu Qing shouted to Xie Lian, order him to run, then the truth of the unnatural behavior of Xie Lian got exposed. Xie Lian never has been the kind of person that would run of a situation like that just because someone ordered him to do so. Oh god, it was all the opposite.
But he was, running away, letting behind his friends when they had been defeated.
He fell, because the cocoon silk tied him. But, that was strange for him not to be able enough to land in a better way. The sound of his fall resonate in the cave.
Hua Cheng felt guilty about that. It doesn't matter how, he would never permit Xie Lian to get hurt, and to cause him any pain, even accidentally, was something unforgivable.
He walked towards Dianxia. He wasn't able to see him at his eyes, even touch him felt like some type of sacrilege.
"You... you let His Highness go! He's already very miserable. You, don't do this to him... ".
«Do what?» thought Hua Cheng while carried Xie Lian into the grotto; he could think what they were afraid for, but he would never, in any way, do something Xie Lian didn't want. He just needed to take care of the injuries he caused to Dianxia.
When he left him in the stone bed, immediately he felt worse, if that could be possible. Nothing were the same anymore.
"Did they cast a curse on you?".
The response didn't arrive. Hua Cheng sighed and look his back to finally find the seal.
"Your Highness, don't worry. I won't kill those two trash for the time being. Even though I really want to kill them".
He was about to take off the seal of his back, but when he was at half, he doubted, what will be Xie Lian's reaction about the things that had just happened? He still needed to do something that felt almost illegal as well.
It would be fast, it would be harmless, however, he can't heal the injuries without treating the hurt skin. He untie the belt of his waist.
But then he almost die again when Xie Lian started to move and shouted.
"Ah!".
Hua Cheng froze and retracted his hand.
"I won't!".
He felt disgust towards himself, even when he knows that his intention was to help, not to doing something bad for Xie Lian. He stepped back for a moment, scared of scare him, and said in a deep voice.
"Your Highness I won't do anything, You... don't be afraid".
He didn't wait for an answer, although he was afraid of one.
"Your Highness, trust me".
There were not the usual confidence. Actually, Hua Cheng himself didn't know how he didn't had started to cry yet.
When Xie Lian keep still, he finished to take off the clothes, making all the effort to not touching his skin. That situation made him remember something, some sort of Deja Vu. But, the same way he was as respectful as he could almost eight hundred years ago, he was never going to cross the line, unable to see him for more than it was necessary.
With his butterflies he healed the frostbite. He felt like he would never wanted to see Xie Lian being extremely cold and hurt and do nothing to help, but, would that be the last time he could help him like that?
Before he could think something more, a voice came across, yelling at them.
"Hua Cheng! You lunatic, what do you want to do to His Highness the Crown Prince?! This is too disgusting!".
There were something strange about Mu Qing and Feng Xin; Hua Cheng knew there was a very terrible scene, but he was calm because he knew the truth wasn't as terrible as it seemed. However, just by looking with his right eye, there was something off and it wasn't Xie Lian or he himself.
They were talking vicious things like they weren't defeated by him just some moments ago. Like they were wanting to enrage him.
At least, he could discharge some rage, then.
"Since you're courting death...".
Xie Lian tried to stop him, but it was too late, the scimitar was unsheathed and with a fatal light flashed past.
The two troublesome were chopped in half, spurting blood in a really disgusting scene to look at, although it was nothing he didn't wanted to really do anyways. He just walk through the pool of blood, walking towards Xie Lian, that was stunned in the stone bed.
"How can I let go...".
He carried Xie Lian, but he left him near the pair of corpses when the effect of the Life Obeying Talisman stopped. Feng Xin, at the edge of the death, still grabbed his hand and let out his last words.
"Be careful... Hua Cheng... Don't go near him ... He... He's a monster!".
"Monster?".
Xie Lian stood on and said "I'm very curious. Is he as strange as you?".
And he just pierced the chest of Feng Xin with his sword.
Hua Cheng could not stop thinking that was rather a satisfying scene. But now they were in a very difficult situation, when "Mu Qing" laughed like a lunatic and their corpses boiling into two puddles of pus and blood that fused together.
Hua Cheng stood in front of Xie Lian, on guard. The boiling amorphous mass soon got a human shape, of a youngster that wore a mask, half smiling, half crying. He just warmly said.
"Hello, Xie Lian".
Hua Cheng felt a wave of anger towards Bai Wuxian. All the things he'd done to Xie Lian, the fall, the suffering, the madness, the loneliness; he had seen it all, unable to do a thing to help his god. Now, he would stood in front of him, and be capable and strong enough to protect the person he loves the most.
The Calamity in White dodge his attack and appeared behind Hua Cheng, his arm extended like he wanted to reach the face of Xie Lian.
"Take your filthy hand away".
A silver light flashed, and Hua Cheng returned to his place in front of Xie Lian, while he managed to cut off the hand of Bai Wuxian. The Calamity in White wasn't bothered about that, just grew up another hand and like a claw he directly reached towards Hua Cheng's right eye.
Even when he dodged incredibly quickly, Bai Wuxian left some bloody marks in the right side of Hua Cheng's face.
It was frustrating, being that the first time he couldn't crush his opponent in speed, but it wasn't the right time to feel frustrated. He summoned a lot of Ghost Butterflies, they were thousands of them, countless of silver butterflies wrapped the another ghost into a humanoid cocoon. But it was time to withdrawal and think of a new strategy.
The problem was that, before he could pull Xie Lian up to go, he heard how all his butterflies explode, being reduced into silver powder; he felt hopeless, like he wasn't really strong enough to protect the person he loved.
But, the person he loved was strong too.
It was all in a moment, Bai Wuxian attacked again, trying to reach his right eye, but Dianxia not only cut the arm of that person, he almost slashed half of his body.
Taking the opportunity, Hua Cheng exclaimed.
"Your Highness, let's go!".
The two ran into the pitch-black cave, Hua Cheng leading the way and letting behind obstacles with the ghost butterflies and cocoon silk.
"It's him! He... Really didn't die!" exclaimed Xie Lian while they were running.
"It might be not the original one".
Xie Lian stopped his tracks, thinking out loud about Bai Wuxian and his return. Hua Cheng noticed how much it was really affecting him, he stopped too and turned around to pull him, and said trying to calm him down.
"Your Highness! Don't be afraid. It might not be that he became stronger..."
He was about to tell him the true identity of Bai Wuxian, but stopped his words when he noticed the gaze of Xie Lian in their hands. Just by that moment he had forgotten the things that happened, but now, they were alone, just the two of them. He froze, feeling an inexplicable sensation of emptiness in his chest. He restrained his expression, retracted his hand a turned around to walk forward.
The things were not the same anymore, and he felt hopeless, just begging for all of that affair to be forgotten. He walked, but Xie Lian didn't follow.
It wasn't going to be that easy.
"San Lang".
Hua Cheng stopped, feeling tense and like he didn't have salvation. He didn't turned around, incapable to see Xie Lian at his face.
"Your Highness".
Hua Cheng noticed that Xie Lian walked towards him, and stood just behind his back. He still didn't turned around.
"Just now, a lot of things happened. Everyone was a little flustered".
He was begging with all of his heart not to have that conversation, not to be there, just disappear. But, he knew Xie Lian. He didn't have how to scape.
"Mhm".
His god continued.
"Although we're still very flustered right now, I still want to take this opportunity to ask you a question. I ask that you answer me truthfully and seriously".
It wasn't the way he wanted they have that conversation. It wasn't the way he dreamed for almost eight hundred years to tell him what were his feelings. It wasn't the way he planned since they started to be close to tell him someday how much did he love him. But it couldn't help. The things just went that way.
There was no election.
Despite everything, no matter what, there were no one more sincere than him.
"Alright".
Xie Lian said with a solemnly voice.
"Who is the 'noble, gracious, special someone'?".
That was the end of the road. His hand, the one with the red knot, twitched. He couldn't help, but after a moment of heavy silence, Hua Cheng said slowly.
"Since Your Highness already knows, why ask again?".
Yes, because Xie Lian was smart. And he loved it, but now, he couldn't help to hate it a little.
"So that's how it is. I didn't misunderstand you. It really is like that".
Hua Cheng swallowed hard. He felt the tension abandoning his body, just to leave emptiness and the feeling that all the hope was gone. There was nothing to do about that, just to forget that happened. Until Xie Lian asked in a flat tone.
"You, don't you want to know what I think about this?".
He tilted his head, but he wasn't able to turn around a face Xie Lian. He felt afraid, a real sensation of fear. He felt like he wasn't ready to be rejected. His voice was hoarse when he said.
"Your Highness, can you, not tell me?".
He knew he way he loves wasn't normal, loving a man being him one, and loving him in a devotional and selfless way, even to give his life not only one but two times so far, and to be capable to give it to him every time. To be so selfish to didn't rest in peace even when that could make him suffer if he knew that.
He knew already he did not deserve more than he already got.
"I'm sorry. Something like this has to be said clearly".
Even when he didn't need to breathe for being a ghost, he still took a deep breath, preparing himself for the impact, for the punishment his sick love deserve.
He still smiled, and responded in a gentlemanly way. If that's what his love needed to do, then it will do.
"That's right. That's fine too".
He closed his eye, feeling hopeless, scared and lost. But then he suddenly opened it when he felt two arms that wrapped him in a gently and tightly hug.
Words weren't needed, when Xie Lian buried his face in Hua Cheng's back.
After a long time, His Cheng was brave enough to turn around and face Xie Lian, hugged him tightly like he was scared of him to fade.
"...Your Highness. You really... will be the death of me".