Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It had been the same for years now, with Eddward’s household; once his parents knew he could take care of himself, and he proved it, they were more happier to focus more on their jobs. Eddward didn’t see his parents much, sometimes not even when they were home. They one of them would stop by long enough to leave notes, or gifts, maybe cook. He may have been in the bed sleep, or out and about with his friends, or in school. He was pretty much self-sufficient, and was simply used to it. The other kids dealt with almost similar, except their parents were around more, even the Kankers mom didn’t have the same absence record, and to him, that was saying something.

It wasn’t all bad, for in various degrees, the other parents saw the cul-de-sac as a community and didn’t care too much of whatever feud, or dislikes, the kids may or may not have, that kids will be kids, whatever issue will be gone by tomorrow, like any other soap opera, for there were nobody else to really speak of, in what of the fairly new subdivision was finished. Lucky for Eddward, that meant, that in a way, there was some kind of parental figures for him, and not every night was dinner alone. He had learned new things, either completely, or how to physically do something he had only book knowledge of. Like vehicular repairs from Eddy and Kevin’s fathers, or cooking advice from the mothers. Sometimes if his parents were away on holiday, he would cook something for them. If they were to be there, they would partake, or he could send it through mail. Doing things for the other parents, also helped him keep money, especially the things the other kids wouldn’t do. He of course wouldn’t tell Eddy this.

Sometimes his parents weren’t able to get groceries, or have them delivered, he often hoped for the times they miscalculated the cost—which was rare, so he would have the money left over. Dinner with the other families was something he soon decided to put his pride aside for. All of this slowly wore on him. He wasn’t aware of how much, because it was just his life. Until he decided to further dig into psychology as his next hyper focused interest.

“Still waiting on the grocery order… or the money and list to fetch it myself,” Edd said with a sigh, as he ate some of the last of the breakfast foods. “It appears there’s three more mornings worth of breakfast materials.”

Eddward already planned to supplement his breakfast with the schools. He readied himself for school and thought about how he used to love getting up in the morning for another day of learning, and what happened to that feeling. A banging on his front door disturbed the silence.

“Double Dee, I know you’re up! C’mon man!”

Eddward closed his eyes and took a deep breath. The banging continued.

He flung the door open. “Stop it, Eddy,” he hissed in his face.

“Geez! What’s wrong with you, Sockhead?”

“Morning, Double Dee,” Ed greeted.

“Good morning Ed,” he responded in a nicer tone, as he diverted his eyes from Eddy.

“Okay, let’s get this school crap over with!”

“Let me guess… you have some sort of scam you can’t wait to do, hmmm?”

“He sure does,” Ed answered with a chuckle.

“Have you not learned anything from your past mistakes, Eddy?”

“Yeah, yeah… repeating history, damnation, or whatever. Listen this is sure fire.”

Eddward rolled his eyes. “I’m sure I am in some sort of damnation.”

The two stopped as he walked past them a few feet, and turned back to their shocked faces.

“What?”

“Double Dee said a cuss word,” Ed barely whispered to Eddy.

“Yeah, I heard. Now get outta my face and stop brushing your teeth with tuna!”

“I did, didn’t I? Well shame on me.” Edd’s voice dripped with sarcasm.

They watched him continue to walk, and rushed to catch up to him.

“So do you wanna hear the plan, or not?”

“The ‘not’, is the option I choose. For the most part… the others have been slowly coming to accept us, and every harebrained scheme you come up with, despite the infrequency, seems to not only backfire, but sets back acceptance. You might not care—which is odd, since it’s contrary to that part of your ego that seeks admiration, I however, do not enjoy being disliked, or attacked by an angry mob of our peers. These days our only antagonist are the Kanker sisters. I’d like to at least keep it that way. So no; I do not care, I do not want to help.”

“What crawled up your ass?”

“Common sense and a photographic memory of your track record of failure.”

Once in school, Eddward took straight to the cafeteria. Quietly Eddy told Ed the plan, he knew it wouldn’t work, he knew Eddy wouldn’t believe him.

“We’ll give Double Dee time to get his act together, so he’ll help with his brains, Lumpy.”

Eddward finished his breakfast, and walked over to another table.

“Excuse me gentlemen.”

“Whassup Double Dee,” Kevin asked.

“I came to inform you that Eddy is planning another scam, and to make you aware that I want nothing to do with it.”

“Seller of snake oil, Ed boy is at it again, eh,” Rolf asked.

“It’s like the moment we start thinking he’s not all that bad, he tries something stupid,” Kevin stated.

“That’s precisely what I tried to point out. I’m honestly getting fed up.”

“Plank sez; he doesn’t blame you, always getting forced into Eddy’s crazy antics,” Jonny said.

Eddward understood Jonny a bit more than he used to, that he used Plank as his voice, for reasons he’s still not too sure of, and still figuring out, since his parents explained that he was autistic, everything was clearer with dealing of the quandary of Jonny. It made him wonder if Ed was, as well.

Eddward had his first smile of the morning. “I appreciate that you understand, Plank. Thank you.”

“We’ll let the others know,” Kevin stated.

“You ready to help with my plan, yet,” Eddy asked after first period.

“I told you already. I refuse to be a part of your follies, from here on out.”

“Look man—”

“Hiya boys,” the Kanker sisters greeted together.

“K-K-Kankers,” Ed hollered.

“Run away!”

“We seem to be surrounded, Eddy,” Edd said nervously.

They closed in on them.

“Look at that hunk of burnin’ love,” May said.

“Growth spurts doing you good, Short Stop.”

“More like hunk of burning garbage! Now my Double Dee here, there’s a real man!”

“Then stop calling me Shortstop,” Eddy demanded.

Or course once puberty hit fully, the three, as most of the now full fledged teens grew in many ways.

“Make me.” Lee was eye to eye with him. “Want me to shut my trap, then pucker up, Short Stop.”

Eddy always hated people making fun of his height, and that superiority complex hasn’t left, since he’s still shorter than Kevin, Rolf, and the other two Eds.

“I’d rather kiss Ed’s armpit!”

“Too bad.” Lee grabbed his shirt and pushed him against the locker.

“We missed our morning smooches,” May said as she climbed up a frozen Ed.

“Must we do this every day,” Edd asked.

“One day you’ll be begging for it, Oven Mitt,” Marie spoke demurely.

“I b-beg to differ.”

“Look how sexy we’re gettin’! Well me ‘n May. You couldn’t hang your hat on Lee’s tits,” she said with a snicker.

“Watch it, Marie!”

“There’s not much to watch, though,” May added.

Marie laughed. “Good one!”

“I got a good one for ya!”

Lee let go of Eddy, grabbed Marie, and used her to knock May off of Ed.

“At least I didn’t just get fatter, May!”

“At least it’s in all the right places! Where’s your bucket, I heard the janitor needs you to clean up puke!”

“That’s it!”

Lee didn’t like that her younger sisters were developing more than she was; May always had thick thighs and a fat butt, her chest wasn’t too far behind, While Marie’s body seemed to be mostly invested in placing most stats in her chest, Lee was tall and lean, though she had breast, they were enough to shake and bounce, just not enough to compare to them.

Lee attacked May, Marie jumped in.

“I say we make a hasty retreat while they’re distracted,” Edd stated.

“Run away,” Ed yelled.

“Stop, they’re getting away,” Marie said.

May was under Lee, and pushed her hands in her face, wile she grabbed her breast as if she was trying to rip them off, while Marie had her in a headlock. They quickly jumped up and tackled the Ed’s and pinned them down.

“It’s not gentleman like to leave your ladies without a goodbye kiss,” Lee said.

“What ladies‽” Eddy retorted.

The sisters then started to kiss them all over their faces with their weight focused on holding the Eds arms over their heads.

“Please… we’re going to be late for class,” Edd yelled. “Was that your tongue‽”

“See ya later boys,” Marie said when they were done.

“Dirty Kankers,” Eddy screamed.

“I, for one, am getting tired of their antics,” Edd admitted and handed out moist towelettes.

“Finally we agree on something,” Eddy replied.

Eddward was getting tired of everything. He started to see things he never noticed, realized over the years of being forced out of his bubble that his parents placed him in, being made to force the things that made him anxious, like Ed’s room, started to see his own instilled troubles. And he didn’t like it one bit.

He was smart enough that his thoughts were not much of a distraction, paired with his habit of  looking into the curriculum out of preparation. Things are getting old and he’s getting fed up. Suddenly he was passed a note and the scent of it revealed who it was from; Crankshaft number five, Marie.

He simply balled it up, and walked it to the trashcan. “If you would focus more on your education, than my admiration, then you could apply yourself and make something out of your life,” he said as he sat down.

Some other kids laughed at her before the teacher had to get control of the class. They had never heard Eddward talk that way to anybody, in such a mean manner. Marie was embarrassed.

Rolf came up to him after class. “You really inspected the bowels of the blue haired demon Kanker,” he said with a laugh.

“It wasn’t my intention, but I suppose I did do that. I’m growing weary of dealing with them.”

“Hey Double Dee!”

“Oh, speak of the devil,” Rolf said.

“Indeed.” Eddward scowled.

“That was pretty mean, what you did back there!”

“Where you embarrassed?”

“Yeah, it’s like you called me stupid,” she yelled in his face.

He did his best to drive back his fear.

“It wasn’t my intentions to embarrass you, I can promise you that. However you perceiving my words as uncouth; you and your siblings are nothing but. If you don’t like being treated that way, then maybe not treat others in the manner you personally dislike. Now I never directly or indirectly labeled you as stupid, but…” He shrugged and walked away.

She stood there dumbfounded, still processing his words.

Before lunch he heard laughter in the hall, rounded the corner and saw the focus. Ed hung by his underwear with something squirming in his coat.

“Hello Ed.”

“Hi Double Dee!”

“Doesn’t that hurt, Ed,” Edd asked, confused at his chipper mood.

“Excruciating! But Eddy’s face is tickling my armpit.”

“I see the scam backfired, hmmm?”

“And how.”

“Why do you do it? Why Ed? Do you like not being liked, or being used by Eddy? I know you have developmental issues, but come on, man! You should be better than this!”

“Ummm… I just like hanging with my friends.”

“Ed… you can’t live your entire life like this, as you are. Please… as your friend, I really care about you, try to be better. That’s Eddy in your coat, isn’t it?”

“Sure is. They tapped him to me.” Ed managed to pull his coat open.

Eddy was flailing and made muffled screams as he tried to pull his head free from Eds armpit.

“Could you at least free his head,” Edd asked, annoyed.

“Oh yeah!”

Ed ripped the tape away and Eddy screamed.

“Fucking hell, god damn it! Air! Air!” Eddy took a deep breath and saw Eddward.

“Double Dees here, Eddy.”

“Why did it take you so long to do that, ya big idiot‽ Double Dee, get us down!”

“How long have you been up there?*

“I don’t know! Time works differently when your face is shoved in his armpit, breathing in poisonous funk!”

“The scam failed as I predicted.”

“We’ve been here since after that,” Ed explained.

“So like fifteen minutes, I guess. Now get us down, Sockhead!”

“Given the structural integrity of Ed’s underwear… that I’m actually baffled held up this long, I’d say, you’ll be free in three, two…”

Suddenly the waistband snapped and they crashed to the ground. Eddy’s face ended up in his armpit again, he kicked and flailed, and screamed. Ed stood up and pulled at the rest of the tape. Once Eddy could tear the rest away, he shoved Ed down and ran to the trash can and puked.

Eddward couldn’t help but laugh.

“It’s not funny. None of this would’ve happened if you helped!”

“It would have. It always does, Eddy.”

“There may have been a chance if you didn’t tell anybody,” he screamed in his face. “And you! Learn what soap and water is, damn it!”

“Soap bad! Soap is evil, Eddy!”

“No it’s not! Everybody takes a shower! You smell like a garbage pile, man!”

“Okay Eddy… calm down, now,” Edd tried to diffuse the situation.

“I don’t even wanna hear it from you! You’re a traitor!”

“A traitor? Come now. High schools around the corner, it’s time to grow up and leave that childish ideology behind.”

Eddy grabbed Eddward and shoved his face in Ed’s armpit. “How’s that for childish‽”

Eddward pulled out, gasped and coughed for air. “Heavens!”

“No, it’s the other one,” Eddy said as he walked away.

“Are you okay, Double Dee?”

“I think I’m going to be sick! Eddy’s right… you’re disgusting! Get it together… please. Even Rolf showers, Ed.”

Eddward made the best of what was left of lunch when Kevin called him over.

“Hey Double Dee, thanks for the heads up with that scam.”

“I do try to be a good person.”

“My dads making steak tonight, if you wanna come over.”

Eddward mulled it over. “If my situation with the groceries hasn’t changed, I’ll take you up on that offer.”

“Cool.”

“You’re lucky you’re late! We heard about what you said to Marie, and the three of them are out for blood,” Jimmy explained.

Edd sighed. “See… every little thing sets them off. That’s one of many of their problems. How long are we supposed to endure their crude and garish ways? I refuse to stand for it anymore!”

“Dude, are you okay,” Nazz asked.

“I’m fine, thank you for asking.”

“If you need somebody to talk to, we’re here.”

“Even though sometimes you’re as confusing as Rolf to talk to.” Kevin chuckled.

“How? I speak clear and concise.”

“It’s not that we’re stupid, we just don’t always understand those big words. Dude, we get it, you’re smart, you don’t need to prove it all the time. If your vocabulary is so large… can’t you just use regular people words,” Nazz explained.

“It does come off a bit hoity-toity. No offense,” Jimmy said.

“If we don’t understand every word, there’s no way in hell my idiot brother knows what language you’re speaking,” Sarah added.

“Well… I suppose I could try.”

“It’s all we’re asking. We love that you’re a genius, you’re a great guy…,” Nazz trailed off.

“Just be a bit more down to earth. You’re still one of us, right,” Kevin asked.

Edd simply nodded. “Duly noted. I will do my best to not use such verbose language.”

They just stared at him and he gave an embarrassed smile.

“Sorry.”

“There he is! I don’t have anything to do with that! I don’t even have that class!” Eddy cried.

Lee looked to see Eddward walk up to his locker.

“I wish I was… it was probably funny,” Eddy stated.

Lee belted him in the stomach.

“What did Eddy do now?”

“Nothing, jus’ felt like it,” she said with a shrug.

“Then it was unnecessary, now excuse me, I need to get to my locker.”

“No you don’t! You’re the problem here, you hurt Marie’s feelings,” May snapped.

“We’re here lookin’ for you.” Lee poked him in the chest. “You owe her an apology!”

“I didn’t do anything wrong, now please respect my personal space, and move aside.”

“Is this guy real,” Lee asked Marie.

“Do you know who you’re talkin’ to‽”

“Lee, May, and Marie Kanker. I do have an excellent memory.”

“The  you remember calling her stupid, huh?”

“No… I don’t recall, because I never did that.”

“Yes you did!”

“No I did not. If I remember; it was you who made that claim, I told you I did no such thing. Now that that’s settled, please allow me access to my locker.”

“Either way, you were being a jerk,” May said.

“I simply told her, after I threw her note away, that if she would focus on school, and not me, that she would actually be able to make something of herself. That goes for all of you.”

“Double Dee… are you crazy‽ Your gonna piss’em off even more,” Eddy gasped, still recovering.

“One more nasty thing comes out of your mouth, and I’m gonna put my fist in it,” Lee threatened.

Ed popped out of a trashcan. “Run Double Dee!”

“Nasty… being a jerk…” Edd closed his eyes and his body shook.

“That’s right. Just because you’re the smartest kid in school, and have rich scientist parents, doesn’t mean ya get to be an asshole!”

“Right,” Marie added.

“Looks like hat full of brains ed-boy has gotten in trouble with the Kankers,” Rolf stated.

“Looks like it. Hey Nat! Get a load of the massacre that’s about to happen,” Kevin said.

“That’s all you three are,” Edd spoke low.

“Excuse me? What was that,” May asked.

Edds eyes were full of rage. “Jerks! You’re nothing but jerks… and I’m sick and tired of it! You don’t know anything about my life, despite your inane infatuation. And I know little of yours… but what I do know, is your living situation is no… no… no damn excuse to be assholes yourselves!”

At the sound of profanity from Eddward, Ed ducked in the trashcan and peered out of it.

“Holy shit,” Kevin exclaimed.

“See… I told you something was off about Double Dee,” Nat said.

“That’s why nobody likes you! Despite how abrasive Kevin can be; he’s far more tolerable a person!”

“Tell us how you really feel,” May retorted.

“Oh… that’s exactly what I intend to do. For starters; you need to leave Ed alone in the remedial class, he has enough trouble learning without you making it worse!”

“Is that Double Dee yelling,” Jonny asked with Sarah and Jimmy.

“I’m telling you that you’ve finally raised my ire. We don’t like you three, and before you jump to the assumption of it being in the trailer park, or something else idiotic—it’s you we don’t like. Even if there was the slightest of possibility, your track record has eliminated every chance of repentance! You will not take no for an answer and I think I speak for all of us, when I say that your method doesn’t work! But you keep trying the same thing over and over. That’s the definition of insanity—you’d know that if you did your school work, but I’ll add that it’s also stupidity—yes, now I’m calling you stupid!”

The girls gasped with everybody else.

“You May; I have seen promise in you, you can be nice, but your sisters are making you a horrible person. Be better. Marie; you’re rude, snarky, cruel… unacceptable! I don’t like girls like you and I’m surprised you’re not in Juvie. Even Sarah can be kind. And Lee… Lee, Lee, Lee…”

“You tell’em Double Dee,” Eddy yelled.

“Oh I’m frankly tired of you too, Eddy. I’d keep quiet if I were you. Now…”

“You were getting to me,” Lee said, fuming.

“Ah yes, thank you. You’re cruel, selfish, unfeeling, nasty, toxic. All of you are toxic, but you’re the worst!  You’re such a shitty person that even your sisters can’t escape your tyranny. You’re sinister, Lee… sinister. The worst of society.”

“I’ve never heard him talk like that,” Jimmy exclaimed.

“Dude, What’s going on?” Nazz walked up.

“Double Dee has been ripping the Kankers a new one, and I got it all on video,” Nat explained.

“I really don’t like you, Lee. I’m tired of wasting my kindness.  You’re honestly not too different than Eddy. Both of you are toxic and would actually be perfect for each other, if not for the clashing of your undeserved, overinflated egos and more arrogance than anybody else. I’ll give you one thing, Lee; at least you can back up that big, fat mouth of yours. Both you and Eddy are tactless and have no decorum.”

“You’re throwing me under the bus‽”

“Indeed. The four of you are far more childish, than Sarah and Jimmy. In case none of this made it into those willfully moronic brains, allow me to simplify it for you, because I am trying to better myself; I hate you girls, you’re disgusting sub humans, who will amount to nothing in life, short of a prison sentence,  you present nothing of value to the world. Your personalities are best described as the psychological equal to Ed’s hygiene! Now please step aside, for you have made me late… again.”

They stepped out of his way in shock, he went in his locker to exchange books. While Lee was still rather mad, Marie and May were not only shocked, but visibly hurt.

“I oughta pound you,” Lee growled.

“Why… for telling the truth‽ See, you’re just proving me right. Honestly, if I had the unnatural strength of Ed, Rolf, or even Sarah; I would probably forget I was a gentleman. Just because you’re of the female gender doesn’t make the choices you make right.”

“My fist is itchin’ too, Lee,” Marie growled.

“I might not be the best fighter, but I can get you back in ways you can’t imagine.”

They all watched him walk away.

“Double Dee, I didn’t know you had that in you,” Nazz said.

“Well it’s been a long time coming, since somebody said or did anything about that filth.”

“That was awesome!”

“Why thank you Jonny.”

“It was most impressive Ed of the two dee’s.”

“Double Dee, way to go,” Sarah said.

“Thank you all. And you Sarah…”

“Yeah?” She smiled.

“You’re not too far off from the Kankers, with the way you treat Ed. Your folks have spoiled you to the point of being a brat. It’s probably one reason he is the way he is. If you don’t straighten up now, they’re going to be your very near future.”

There seemed to be a weird vibe to the school, the rest of the day, until it let out. Ed and Eddy ran up to Eddward on his way home.

“Double Dee… you didn’t mean what you said about me, did you,” Eddy asked.

“Have you known me to lie?”

“That was mean, though.”

“And it was the truth. I’m tired of your self-serving nature. Your parents aren’t even that bad.”

“Umm… Double Dee…?”

“Yes Ed?”

“Are you going to still help me with my homework?”

“Why yes, as long as you apply yourself and try to do the work.”

“I will, I’ll try.” Ed was still thinking about how Eddward went off, how he had never seen him that angry.

“Good, because you won’t make it out of middle school if you don’t. Life is not all about monster movies, comic books, and gravy. Life is already going to be hard for you, the least you could do, is not make it any harder. You understand, right?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Monobrow’s a lost cause in the brains department,” Eddy stated.

“No he is not! And that’s not helping!”

Ed jumped at his outburst.

“How can you even consider yourself a good friend, as brash as you are?”

“Please… he’s my best friend, but he’s stupid, I’m not even sure he knows how to think!”

“Eddy! I’ve seen his grades, and he’s not doing too bad, actually. As a matter of fact… if you don’t focus a bit more; your grades aren’t too far off.”

“Does that mean I can be smart, Double Dee?”

Edd looked at him and smiled. “Of course, Ed. A healthy mind is a smart mind. For starters, you need to stop eating things that are past expired and moldy.”

“But I like that stuff!”

“I know, I know. It’s like this, Ed… remember that movie, The Brain Mushrooms From Mars Marsh?”

Ed giggled. “That’s a good one.”

“Ehh… but how the mushrooms used their spores to mind control people until they turned into fungus drones?”

“Yeah?”

Mushrooms are a type of fungus.”

“Pffft everybody knows that, Double Dee.”

“So is mold, Ed. Fungus has many forms it can take, like those shelf looking things on that tree, and lichens.”

What are you getting at?”

“He’s saying that all the old moldy crap you have, makes ya stupid,” Eddy shouted.

Edd sighed. “He’s not wrong. Just like those mushrooms in that movie, all that moldy food you eat, is putting spores in your brain.”

“But I haven’t turned into a fungus drone, yet!”

“No, no, Ed. Your mold doesn’t have that kinda power, but what it will do is send spores to your brain, that make you… not smart. Once your smarts are gone… then they take your memories—you like remembering all the fun times we’ve had, right?”

“I do! I do,” Ed started to panic.

“There you go Ed. Then once those are gone, you won’t be smart enough to remember who you are, so then the mold spores will grow and eat your brain! Then and only then, will they make you a fungus drone.”

“No! Get’em out, get’em out!”

Eddy laughed.

“We can’t. You know what fights evil, Ed, the opposing force?”

“Good must defeat evil!”

“So what’s the good of evil, moldy food?”

“Umm… healthier… food…?”

“Good job, Ed! All the stuff in good food will rise up against the evil tyrannical forces of evil food mold! It will be a long battle, but you can help by eating better, then they’ll be out numbered and weak… their forces will dwindle until the last scaredy pants spore is left defenseless! Then the good food will rebuild and make your brain stronger.”

“I need good food, quick! Wait… you’re not lying are you?” Ed grew skeptical.

“Ed, who knows more about biology and plants that you know of?”

“Nobody more than you.”

“And have I ever lied to you?”

“Nope.”

“And who cares more about you than anybody, even May?”

“Okay, you are always a good friend to Ed,” he said with resolve.

“I would be very sad if you were turned into a fungus drone… you seen what happened to those poor people.”

“We need to destroy the mold spores,” he cheered.

Eddy leaned in to Edd. “you think that’ll even work?”

“One can only hope.” He turned to Ed. “Ed… I need to stop at home, and I’ll be right over.”

“Okey-dokey!”

“Remember, Ed… kill the evil spores.”

Eddward stopped at home, found no new news of the groceries, and grew even more frustrated at his home life, compared to others.  He wonders how some can have such immaterial wealth, yet still be cruel. He went to fetch small spy cameras, he wanted to help Ed, he wants Ed, as well as others to prosper and be their best self, as he thrived to be, that his parents want him to be, or so they claim.

He went to Ed’s and knocked on the door, Sarah answered, still not too pleased with him.

“What do you want?”

“I’m here to help Ed with his work.”

She glared a moment and walked away to the basement door.

“Ed! Your rude friend is here!”

While she did that, Eddward found a good spot to place the spy cam in the living room, then went to move to the kitchen.

“Hello Jimmy.”

“Hi Double Dee. You really gave it to the Kankers today, I hope you’re okay, such stress can be bad for your skin.”

“I appreciate the concern, I’m quite alright.”

“No need to bother us, the dummy’s in his room, you can go now,” Sarah rudely spoke.

“That was rather rude, Sarah,” Jimmy stated.

“Whatever, let’s get back to work.”

Eddward placed the second one in the kitchen while they weren’t paying attention, then started to the basement.

“You didn’t hafta talk to him that way.”

“Did you hear what he said about me? Screw him.”

“Really? He’s not that wrong, and with Marie out of the way; play your cards right, and you might have a chance…”

Their voices faded away as he descended further down. There was music playing, and Ed was scratching his head as he looked over school work.

“I see you’re ready to get started, Ed.”

“Sure am, Double Dee! We must help defeat the mold spores!”

“Let’s get started, then.” He smiled.

An hour had passed and Eddward saw promise and progress. There was a bit of ruckus upstairs that started to upset Ed.

“What in heavens are those two doing up there‽”

“Don’t you worry, professor! I’ll take care of it.”

Ed stood and marched up the steps. Eddward took that chance to find a spot for the last spy camera.

“Shut up! Ed is getting smart,” he bellowed and shook the house.

Eddward heard what he assumed was the basement door slam. He was worried about what Sarah might do to him, until he came back down in pride.

“Back to the grindstone!”

He sighed with relief. “Let’s get to it.”

Chapter Text

It seemed that the session with Ed was prosperous, he returned home to do his own homework and work on a project of his. From the garage, he heard somebody bang on the front door.

“No need to bang on my door like that, Eddy.”

“So did you manage to teach Ed anything?”

“Yes I did, and I hope it sticks.”

“What’s with the hazmat suit?”

“I’m working on a little project, some security for when the Kankers retaliate.” He revealed a small bottle.

“What are you making them.. perfume to bribe them into not beating you into a pulp,” he asked and burst out laughing.

“Of course not. Remember that stink bomb we made years ago?”

Eddy stopped laughing. “Th-the one with.. Ed’s sock…?”

“The very same.”

“You said you’d never do that again, are you nuts?”

“Clearly it’s not a bomb. I imagine the essence of Ed is even more potent, since puberty. I took that and asked Rolf for one of his peppers, and horseradish… and Voila; the most lethal, nonlethal mace known to man!”

“Holy shit!”

“Care to test it out,” Edd asked menacingly.

“Oh hell no! Keep that thing away from me! I thought I was going to need to burn my skin off, the first time, to get the smell away!”

“I suggest you mind your manners, then, Eddy.”

“Yeah, sure, sure.” He held his hands up. “So, do you… umm… know what Sarah and fluffy were arguing over?”

“Haven’t the foggiest.” He ushered him out of the garage. “It does seem that Sarah still has a crush on me, however.”

“Like anybody would wanna date her. Besides, she’s with Jimmy, anyway… the poor sap.”

Eddward laughed.

“What’s so funny‽”

“They aren’t dating. Wow… you don’t know.”

“Don’t know what? Tell me.”

“You don’t even know,” he said with a chuckle.

“Well tell me then!”

“And you call Ed, dumb. Jimmy’s gay.”

“What‽”

“Everybody but you knew it.”

“Since when‽”

“Probably always. We all kind of knew in the back of our heads, I suppose. It’s not like he hides it well. Cheerleading, dance team.”

“Hmmm… yeah, it all makes sense. So are you back to normal, yet? We need to talk about you ruining my scam and getting you back in the program.”

“Don’t make me mace you,” Edd threatened. “It’s time to grow up and leave these childish ways. I’ll ruin any scam, they’re selfish and bring nothing positive or betterment to society.”

“I’m just trying to get mine.”

“Then do so without total exploitation of others.”

“Yeah, yeah, okay mister humanitarian. Anyway, what were the twerps arguing about?”

“I don’t know, I told you. I was tutoring Ed. The only thing I know is; they were arguing and Ed told them to quiet down, and shut the door.”

“I just heard Jimmy going on how Sarah was this and that, and that you were right. Sarah was pissed.”

Edd chuckled. “Who couldn’t see she’s on the same path? She treats her brother like shit… like Lee. She’s not always as nice to Jimmy, he’s starting to get the same treatment the rest of us are subjected to, if we just annoy her slightly—oh, I did overhear that she still has a crush on me. Still? I mean, she’s treated me fairly poorly to have any true infatuation.”

“I guess you think you’re better than everybody?”

“Me? No. I have my faults, I try to accept others differences, especially when I know them well enough. I just don’t like cruelty for the simple sake of it.”

“I’ve known you long enough that I know you hold stuff about you in high regard, and you look down on a lot.”

“Because I’m not perfect… and I try to improve myself.”

“What about your germaphobe crap, or all that OCD shit?”

“Knowing Ed has quelled the former, for the most part. I don’t like those aspects about me.”

“I guess if you grew up like a regular kid…”

“But I didn’t. My parents raised me like that, and it was good knowledge, like keeping the house clean.”

“The house is always spotless, but why work so hard if they’re never here? They’re not going to know.”

Eddward just stared at him.

“Do they even appreciate it? Why do you care? Do they pay you?It might as well be your name on the deed, if you’re doing all the work.”

Eddward went to speak, but couldn’t form the words.

“Do they care, or do they just expect everything out of you? What do they do other than the bare minimum, and expect you to do the most.”

“They… they, would punish me.”

“How? When‽”

“Well…”

“Seriously! What are they going to do, when they’re never even here. Remember when the Kankers destroyed everybody’s house over that stupid ship? What happened, other than some stupid sticky note about how disappointed they were, that you let the house get fucked up?  I know my parents don’t really talk to them… they’re like… strangers! They don’t really know anybody, nobody knows them. And I’ll betcha ten bucks, they don’t even know you. I will literally give you ten dollars, no tricks.”

Eddy walked to the kitchen and Eddward followed. He could see how Eddy made sense, and wondered how he didn’t really see it, himself.

“They barely keep you fed. I know they’re supposed to be great, or whatever… but they’re not great parents. My dad can be a big asshole… but he’s there, and he’s some kinda parent.” Eddy opened the refrigerator. “That at least keeps food in the house.”

Edd took it all in. “I’ve been so angry… and I think you just found the real source, Eddy. It isn’t fair! It’s not right what they do to me… what they did. It can’t be the money… they’re excellent with finances. We could afford to live in a better place than here, but it was reasonably affordable, and taxes are relatively low.”

“I really don’t blame you.”

“I’ve been looking more into psychology, these days. I may have displaced some anger, but I still feel the way I feel.”

“Who doesn’t get sick and tired,” Eddy asked with a shrug.

“It seems that I’ll be taking Kevin’s dinner offer, after all. As much as I do appreciate everybody caring about me—”

“You don’t like being a burden. I don’t know if anybody has an issue, and if they do, it’s probably with your folks. It should be, anyway.”

After Eddward left Kevin’s for dinner, he had a talk with Kevin.

“I was wondering if you could help me acquire parts for a bike?”

“Sure, I might even have some stuff. I didn’t know you could even ride one.”

“My parents thought I should know for the experience, then used those lessons to show how dangerous it could be, and how I should never ride one.”

“That’s… weird,” Kevin said confused.

“Right.”

“Even though I’m sure the Kankers are gonna break your knees the next time they see you, what kinda bike are you looking into?”

“You might think they’re dorky, but I like those single speed, fixie bikes.”

“Nah, man! I’ve seen people do rad shit on those things. I think it’ll suite you, and you got a knack for mechanics.”

“As far as the Kankers are concerned…” He pulled out the small spray bottle. “I have this.”

“What’s that?”

“Ohhh…. Remember those really spicy horseradish’s and peppers, Rolf grows?”

“Oh yeah.”

“I not only distilled one of each for the oils that make them spicy, but in this solution, I also distilled one of Ed’s socks.”

Kevin’s face went pale.

“I may not have muscles like you, but the brain is the most powerful muscle, and I intend to get my point across, one way, or the other,” he said with a mild chuckle.

“They’re bitches, but don’t kill’em, Double Dee.”

“I won’t, I assure you.  There’s also a bit of alcohol for better skin absorbency. I tell you Kevin, if this doesn’t get them to straighten up… I don’t know what will.”

“Be ready to use that, I guess.”

“Have a goodnight, I’ll see you tomorrow,” Edd said as he went home.

“Yep.”

Eddward stepped inside and discovered a new sticky note, then another. He rushed to the kitchen and found that food had been bought, the fruit bowl replenished, he opened the fridge and saw it full. He was so furious that he slammed the door.

“They were here while I was at Kevin’s,” he growled.

Eddward was fuming. He knew if there were new sticky notes, then they had been there. He took a deep breath and screamed as loud as he could.

“I can’t believe it, but I am certain that Eddy is right! What have you done to me‽ I can’t stand it anymore!”

He flipped the kitchen table.

“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! God damned fuck! And I am not cleaning it up!”

He went into the living room, and threw the rocking chair. There was a knock on the door.

“What is it,” he snapped when he flung the door open.

“Are you okay, Double Dee,” Nazz asked.

“Oh. Nazz…” His demeanor rapidly changed.

“I could hear you… I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“No. I’m… I’m not.”

“Do you wanna talk about it, or just want a little company? Be left alone?”

“You… you c-can come in.”

Nazz walked in and he shut the door behind her.

“I haven’t been feeling much like myself, lately.”

“You just sit down and I’ll get you something to drink.”

He started to protest, but she had already went in the kitchen. He could hear her fixing the things he knocked over. A few moments later, she came back with a cup of tea.

“You have been a bit off, dude,” she said and sat down next to him.

“Yes. I am just fed up with several things… I… I… I’m angry at my parents. I feel like I don’t know who I am.”

“I saw them earlier. You’re not alone Double Dee.”

“I am thankful for you all, but I am alone. At least in some ways.” He took a drink. “I wonder if my parents actually care. What is… me, and what are the things they wanted me to be? Do they want me like them; cold… unfeeling?”

“I know… well I get it. I’m not as dumb as I look.”

“You are very bright.”

“Thanks. But I know I’m just a regular person… average. Not like you. Even if you can be kinda odd.”

“I don’t like parts of myself, Nazz. I feel like so many things… so many faults were fabricated by my parents. My fear of germs; well thanks to Ed, I have more of a tolerance. But other things, like my OCD… anxiety over every little thing. Why do that to a child‽”

Nazz rested a hand on his thigh.

“I can tell you that just because your parents are some kinda geniuses doesn’t mean they’re doing the right things.”

“I just want to be normal. When you all told me about how I sound when I speak the way I do; I was raised like that. It’s not arrogance… I don’t think it is… unless I just don’t see it because of my upbringing.”

Nazz took his glass and sat it on the table. She pulled him in a hug and held him.

“I can’t imagine how you grew up. I do know that with all the shit that you and the other Ed’s have done… good or bad, had to have some kinda impact with your… umm… eccentrics. Maybe out of all the things they’ve done, the best was moving you here, with all of us normal suburb kids.”

“I never really fit in.”

“We all always liked you the most. I don’t know how you never noticed. You’re a good guy. Everything you’ve done, how much of it was something you were scared of? Even if we messed you all up pretty good, was it as bad as you thought it’d be?”

“No. Not all of it.”

“See?”

“I believe so.”

“Dude… hold me. I trust you.”

Eddward slowly hugged her back.

“Isn’t that better?”

“Actually it is.”

“You’re just realizing stuff you didn’t see before. You’re finding yourself, like we are, you’re just a bit of a late bloomer, I guess.”

“Maybe my parents are responsible for it.”

“Could be, man.”

The two cuddled for a few more minutes, it felt a lot longer to him, but he pulled himself away.

“I rather enjoyed this, Nazz.”

“Yeah… I did too.” She smiled.

“As much as I did, it’s getting late. And please don’t get the wrong idea.”

“I know, you would never be that kinda guy, that’s why I trust you.” She stood up. “Once you get all of this figured out, some girl might be lucky to have you.”

“And Kevin should be lucky to have you. Although—this is no offense to you; Marie does seem rather suited for him… more than I for her.”

“Yeah, it does seem like that. I just wish he wouldn’t act like, so high and mighty because I picked him over everybody else. I really like Kev, and I hope it doesn’t turn out to be a mistake.”

Eddward walked her to the door and opened it.

“Thank you for coming over, Nazz. I really needed that, before I really lost it.”

Nazz sighed and stepped on to the porch and held her arms out.

“It’s no problem.”

Eddward gave her one last hug. She looked up at him with a warm smile.

“I can’t recall the last time I ever… received aff—gotten a hug from my parents.”

“I know you have food now, but if you wanna have dinner at my place tomorrow, you can, so you’re not alone.”

“I may take you up on that.”

“Cool. G’night Double Dee.” She waved and walked back home.

“What was all of that about,” Sarah asked from her window. “I know those two aren’t having a thing. Better not be. Here I am single, looking good, and he still goes after her. Idiot.”

Eddward was glad to have had a decent breakfast, and that time with Nazz really helped him out. He made sure have his experimental mace on him before he left the house. Whatever was on the sticky notes were ignored.

“Walk me to school, Ed!”

Edd heard Sarah demand, when he stepped outside.

“Me‽”

“Yeah, you, doofus!”

“I thought you and Jimmy walked to school, why aren’t you going with him,” Eddy complained.

“None of your damn business, is why!”

“Ed, when are you going to grow a back bone and stand up to this Brat‽  You’re the older one, you should be calling the shots! Walk by yourself, you little bitch!”

“I got your bitch!” Sarah grabbed him by his neck and grabbed his backpack.

“Hey! Stop!”

Eddward cringed as he watched Sarah stuff Eddy in his own backpack and place kick him a few blocks away. He tried to pretend he didn’t see them, when Jimmy greeted him.

“Good morning, Double Dee.”

“Oh… good morning, Jimmy.”

Sarah’s growl got their attention and they saw her shooting daggers at both of them, before dragging Ed away.

“Well she’s in a foul mood. Might I ask why you two aren’t walking together?”

“We had a falling out. Those things you said about her; I realized that it was true,” Jimmy started walking.

“You did? Was this when I was tutoring Ed?”

“Mm-hmm.  She was mad because of what you said, that’s why she was rude to you. I tried to explain that if she would be nicer, then maybe she would have a better chance than Marie with you. I don’t assume you feel the same, it was just a bit of hope.”

“I understand. You’re not one to just presume things.”

“Right. She went off how you said that she was just like Lee, and she kept ranting. I was trying to calm her down, but I said you weren’t too far off. I also started losing my temper. That’s when Ed yelled at us to shut up. It just got bad from there.”

“Well if you’d rather not keep talking about it, that’s fine, I won’t pry.”

“It’s fine. I need to get it off my chest, anyway. It’s not the first time she’s taken her anger out on me. I think she might have a problem.”

“One her parents exacerbate, no doubt.”

“No doubt here.”

Jimmy continued to talk all the way to school.

“She’s my best friend, even if I did benefit from it, even I can see it’s not all right, and she sometimes turns on me.”

“Ones own mental health is important. I think her parents need to see who she really is.”

“How could we do that?”

Edd held the door for him and shot him a smile.

“That looks like Eddy’s smile… you did something, didn’t you?”

“I did. That night. There are cameras placed around their house.”

Jimmy giggled.

“It’s really for Ed’s sake.”

Eddward skipped school breakfast and used that time to study before first period. On his way, it seemed to be safe and Kanker free, but he was still cautious.

“Why are you taking it out on us‽”

“Because somebody needs to pay, and a message needs to be delivered,” Lee growled and punched him in the face.

“Yeah!  Now hold’em, May,” Marie ordered while she took several shots at Ed.

“This ain’t fair,” Eddy cried out.

“Life ain’t fair,” Lee replied.

Eddward was watching from around the corner. He watched May and Marie run Ed into a wall, like a battering ram, Lee kick Eddy in the crotch.

“Nobody talks to us like that!”

“It’s fucking true,” Eddy whimpered.

“And how much does the truth hurt, Eddy,” May snapped.

“We expect a fucking apology from all of you. C’mon girls.”

“We don’t owe you shit! Double Dee is right; you’re nothin’ but animals! I’d rather die, than ever be with a woma—thing, like you,” Eddy yelled as they walked away.

“Don’t Eddy,” Ed said with a grunt. “They’ll come back.”

“Shut yer yap,” Lee turned and said. “We’ll be waiting for that apology, and it better come with some romancin’!”

“In hell!”

“Doesn’t matter where, just do it.”

“Fuck you!”

“That’s what I’m countin’ on!”

“Eddy stop!”

“Why didn’t you do anything‽”

“You didn’t do anything either,” Ed said and gathered him and Eddy up.

Eddy smacked his hand away. “You got all the muscle, and you’re nothing but a useless coward! A dumb, idiotic coward! I’m tired of them… sick and tired. And I’m getting tired of you!”

Eddward made himself scarce, as Eddy came his way. He was fuming as he went to class.

“Hey… are you okay,” Nazz asked when he sat down.

“No. I just saw the Kankers assault my friends over what I said. It makes me so mad that they just do things, and nobody stops them. We out number them!” He slammed his fist on his desk and drew other peoples attention. “It’s not right!  Somebody needs to put them in their place, and I guess it’s up to me.”

“Dude, you can’t hit a girl.”

“I understand, and reject the social implications and politics. It is perfectly legal to defend oneself, why should any girl get an exception?”

“Buddy, it sounds like you’re treading in dangerous territory,” Nat said.

“I’m not saying I’m going to go out of my way. That’s rather uncouth, and I do not support senseless violence. I’ll propose a question to you, Nazz; knowing that boys are typically stronger, why would you willingly be the aggressor and attack the likes of Ed, Rolf, or Kevin… or even Eddy or Jonny, knowing the risk if they decided to fight back, which within reason, they have every right to do?”

“Because it’s wrong, and I’m ashamed you would even say such a thing, Eddward,” the teacher spoke.

“It isn’t wrong to defend oneself. I shouldn’t be beaten to a pulp, just because my attacker is a female. I understand the senseless violence, and am aware that the staff here turns a blind eye. All the female students are aware that they can get away with assaulting any male student, for even the slightest of transgression. That isn’t a good thing to teach students in preparation in life, that there’s no consequences for degeneracy just because some of us can take it, doesn’t mean we should. Not to mention the mental anguish one can suffer, because society expects us to be a punching bag. I’m not a fighter, I bruise easily, I do not have the greatest of pain tolerance. Why should I—as weak as I am, be subjected to beatings just because I’m a boy?”

The teacher was speechless.

Nazz got Eddward’s attention after class.

“Hey Double Dee. What you said makes sense. Ya know… you’d probably be real good at some martial arts. Most of them you don’t need to be really strong to use, like some even use physics.”

“I don’t like violence.”

“It’s not about that. It’s about self defense. Sometimes you can’t talk your way out, or walk away. It’s good exercise, and good for mental stuff.”

“Hmmm… I may look into it. From my experience with everybody in the cul-de-sac, talking and running away seemed to never be an option.”

They walked down the hall, turned the corner and heard a ruckus. The Kankers are forcing themselves through the crowd.

“Outta the way,” Marie yelled.

“He can’t hide forever,” May yelled.

“Oh dear,” Edd nervously said.

“Double Dee, let’s go this way.”

Nazz took his hand and went to go down another hall, they ran into Sarah who was coming from that way. She looked at them holding hands, her neutral face grew jealous, she glanced at the Kankers approach, and back at them with a smile.

“Hi Double jerk. Lee! Here’s Double Dee,” Sarah said as loud as she could.

“Sarah,” he said with a gasp. “Why would y—”

“Not cool, Sarah,” Nazz scolded.

Students were nearly knocked over like bowling pins as the rushed over.

“Dude, run!” Nazz pushed him away.

Sarah stuck her foot out and tripped him. “You’re lookin’ for him!”

Lee walked up. “We sure are… good job.”

“Move!” Marie shoved Nazz down and picked Eddward up.

“You owe us an apology,” May yelled.

“I won’t apologize for the truth!”

Marie slammed him against the wall. “Look Oven Mitt… I really like you, so I’m giving you a chance to make things right. Please don’t make me mess you up.”

“If you liked me, then you should’ve took my words in consideration, instead, you just further prove my criticisms and grievances.”

“Grievin’s what you’re about to be doing.” Lee slapped him across the face. “Say you’re sorry!”

“Be better,” he said staunchly.

“Handle your man, Marie!”

Marie punched him in the stomach. “Take it all back!”

“No! It’s the damn truth. Everybody knows it.”

“Let him go,” Nazz and Eddy demanded.

“You two are gonna get it again, fer not delivering my message,” Lee threatened.

“Back up and mind your business!” May squared up with Nazz.

“Take it back!”

“No!”

Marie kneed him hard in the stomach, Lee hit him in the eye when he tried to double over.

“Double Dee!” Nazz tried to step in.

“I got this, deal with the nerd,” Sarah told May. “Back off, Blondie!”

May reared back and kicked Eddward in the shin, he cried out.

“Come on big man, they’re gonna murder him, and get us next,” Eddy told Ed.

“Kankers scary, Eddy!”

“Sarah, what the fuck‽ Why are you helping them,” Nazz asked.

“Because he said mean things about me, and caused me and Jimmy to get in a fight!”

“You got some balls, Double Dee,” Lee growled. “Ya won’t even listen to your girl.”

“She’s not my girlfriend, this is not how you get what you want. I don’t want to be… associated with people like you,” he strained.

“Your funeral,” Lee sighed.

“N-Nazz… see what… what I was—”

Lee and Marie hit him in the stomach and side, Marie took another shot at his face.

“No more! This ain’t right,” Nazz said and went to step in.

May hit him in the face and turned to her. Sarah stepped in and pushed her back.

“He’s telling the truth. You’re all horrible people,” Nazz said and twisted Sarah’s arm behind her back and shoved her away.

When all three sisters looked at her, Eddward pulled out the mace he made.

“I’m so sick of you Kankers,” Eddy screamed.

Eddward broke free of Maries grip and lost his balance.

“We’re not done,” Marie yelled.

Eddward sprayed the neon green mist right in her eyes, there was fine drops that tinted her face slightly green. The sting was instant, she could feel it feel it in her nose and sinuses. She gasped and hollered. Lee and May turned around.

“The hell did you do‽”

“This.”

He swept the mace across their faces. Marie backed up into the frame of the fire doors while holding her face. May screamed and rubbed firmly at her eyes, Lee tried to cope, but it quickly got to her, she grimaced and grit her teeth as she grabbed Eddward, tears and snot started to run down, her face twitched. Marie bumped into May, who was flailing her head. Lee started to shake.

“Fucking shit,” Lee yelled and let him go.

Lee pulled at her hair and backed into her sisters. Eddy took his backpack off and swung.

“Sick of you bitches!”

“Make it stop,” May yelled before she was knocked down with a hit to the face.

“It burns… it stinks,” Marie yelled.

“I can fucking taste it,” Lee screamed.

“Taste this,” Eddy screamed.

He hit Marie in the face with his heavy backpack.

“We don’t want you freaks! You’re monsters.”

Eddy swung at Lee.

“And you! We are never going to happen!”

Eddy hit her several times in the head before she fell.

Nazz ran to Eddward. “Dude, are you okay‽”

“I’m a little better… after that.”

The Kankers were screaming and yelling on the ground.

“What did you do to them,” Sarah demanded.

“Let’s get you to the nurses office,” Nazz said and brushed past Sarah.

“See that‽ That’s how you handle business,” Eddy said to Ed.

“But you hit a girl!”

“Ed… they beat the shit outta us an hour ago! So what‽ I’m tired of it. It shouldn’t matter what they are, when they’re ramming your empty head into a brick wall!”

Nazz walked Eddward to the nurses office, and everything started to set in.

“I… I did it. I-I… I… I did it! I’ve never used violence before, I abhor violence! I just… I was scared… it was wrong—maybe I shouldn’t have done it…”

“It was self-defense, Double Dee. What else were you supposed to do, you were getting jumped,” Nazz explained.

“I stooped so low… I’m no better than they are. I maced them… th-they stopped. It… it fe-felt… it felt good, it was a rush!”

“That’s just the adrenalin kicking in. They were about to pound you real good, and you won. It’s an adrenalin rush, and you’re starting to crash.”

“Yes, you’re right. I’ve never experienced something this intense. Oh… oh no… they’re really going to be mad. I think I’m in danger.”

“Just keep that mace on you at all times. I was going to help… I don’t know how many I could take on, but I had to deal with Sarah and she’s almost as strong as Ed.”

“What am I going to do‽ They’ll be ferocious… they won’t stop.”

“Keep that mace on you. What kinda mace is that, anyway?”

“I made it… out of anger. It’s made from one of Rolf’s horseradish, pepper, and one of Ed’s socks.”

“Oh my god. The Geneva convention might wanna have a word with you.”

Eddward gave a light chuckle.

“What do you think the shelf life is?”

“I don’t know. It might even grow potent with age.”

“C-can I have one? My mom, too.”

“I’ll see what I can do. I had enough to make about a liter of it—I even watered it down some, to get that much.”

Nazz brought him to the nurses office and explained the situation to her. After looking at what was done to him, she was furious, she phoned his parents, and then the assistant principal to deal with the sisters.

Chapter Text

Eddward was in pain, and sore all over, carried his messenger bag with some difficulty. Word spread fast.  The Kankers ended up at the nurses office, escorted by some teachers because they could barely see. They were all baffled by what he actually used. The gym teacher thought it smelled oddly like Ed. The sisters were sent home and their mother was mad she had to leave work to pick them up. Ed and Sarah’s parents were informed of her involvement.

“Dude… Ed… you need to get your sister in check, it wasn’t cool how she helped the Kankers,” Nazz scolded.

“What‽ She helped them,” Eddy and Nat exclaimed.

“Yeah! She stopped me and Double Dee from getting away, when they were bulldozing students down the hall, and called them to us!”

“My precious Sarah wouldn’t do that!”

“Yeah she would, chinless wonder,” Eddy said.

“She’s a little hell raiser… sure she can be nice, but Double Dee is right…”

Eddward happened to limp up to the conversation.

“…she’s a brat and she’s starting to get out of control.”

“Hey, how ya doing.” Nat looked up at Eddward.

“I’ve been better.”

“Double Dee!” Ed rushed to hug him.

Eddward flinched and the others jumped to stop him.

“He’s hurt, Ed! He doesn’t need your bear trap hug making shit worse,” Eddy yelled.

“But friend hurt!”

“You’re just gonna hurt him more, man,” Nat said concerned.

“Sarah’s part responsible for this!” Eddy pointed to Eddward. “Because you and your parents don’t keep her in check! See! This is the shit I was telling you about! Your sister helped your best friend get hurt!”

“Ed… Sarah’s demeanor… the way she acts, that is to say, is the very reason why Jimmy is not her friend anymore. You know in your heart she is not a very good person,” Edd explained.

“But Double Dee,” Ed begged.

“Please Ed. We’re telling the truth. I’m not in a condition to handle your painful hugs.”

“I swear somethings wrong with your whole family and I’m sick of it!” Eddy walked away.

“I wonder if the Kankers will get expelled,” Nat asked.

“Probably not,” Nazz answered.

“I’m honestly surprised they survived that mace you made,” Nat said.

“Double Dee! Are you okay‽” Jimmy ran up.

“I’ve been better, Jimmy.”

“I heard all about it. Lemme help you to class before you’re late.”

“Good heavens, you’re right. We’ll talk later… and thank you Nazz, you’ve been a pleasure.”

Jimmy eased his backpack off, and helped him to class.

“Thank you for your help, Jimmy.”

“You’ve always been a good friend to me, I can’t not help.”

“I appreciate it, I really do.”

“We might not be that much different… on some things. We care about being clean, and some sort of order in chaos, we’re not interested in sports—I don’t want to play them, anyway.”

“All true.”

“We even care about our appearance, and fashion, although your fashion sense is a bit contemporary, but it suits you, and you understand dressing for the occasion,” he went on.

“Jimmy… are you trying to tell me something?”

“Me‽ Oh no, just making conversation.”

“I am a good confidant, you know. If somebody confides in me, I don’t feel it’s my place to tell some one else’s business, that isn’t mine to tell.”

“It’s nothing that serious.” He laughed it off.

“So it is something, then?”

Jimmy grimaced at how his choice of words worked against him.

“You don’t have to say anything, but I’ll be all ears if you do.”

Jimmy stopped walking.

“Jimmy?” Edd stopped and turned around.

“It’s just… I don’t trust anybody to say it. I… I wanted to… tell Sarah, but… I don’t think she would be okay, it feels like she knows, and kinda not all that okay with it.”

“With what, Jimmy?”

He walked up to Eddward and leaned in close to whisper.

“I think I’m gay… and I’m scared.”

Eddward gave it a thought before speaking.

“Jimmy… I can understand the fear, I might not be able to relate, but… I can understand the anguish you may be dealing with. Neither of us fit the standard—and albeit generic role of what a male is to be. I’m not the expert on LGBT lifestyles.”

“Oh.”

“But I will help with what I can. I personally do not think anybody will be surprised. And the only other person I know you should be able to talk to, is Nat—everybody knows he’s bisexual. Nazz might be receptive and empathetic, as well.”

“I bet you think you got me in trouble, huh, Double Dweeb,” Sarah snapped at Edd.

“Well I would hope so, as your actions have been unacceptable.”

“So what‽ I should beat you up, myself!”

“That’s exactly the anti-social behavior I’m talking about! People like you drag society down. And much like Marie; I’m aware of your crush, and it baffles me why either of you would have the gall to think I would want a girlfriend such as you two, that have no concern for others.”

“Well… you don’t have to worry about that, anymore!”

“I never was… good day.”

She fumed as he walked away.

Edd turned back. “It’s not a bad thing, or unhealthy to be a kind person, to at least consider the repercussions of your actions. Ask your self why you should deserve human decency and respect, when you don’t display those things to the very people you demand it from? It’ll all come to light, soon enough.” He continued about his way.

After school Eddward wondered how he was going to get home, in his current state, it would be slower moving than usual.

“No Ed! I’m tired of you,” Eddy yelled and ran by.

Ed stopped and looked at Eddward and they stared at each other for a moment.

“Double Dee,” he shouted. “You shouldn’t be walking in your condition!”

“It’s not the best situation, but I’ll manage just—”

“Oh no sir, mister sir! Ed will be your legs.”

“Ed hold on now!”

Ed picked Eddward up and put him on his shoulders, and made his way to Rathink court.

“I suppose this isn’t so bad. Just please pay attention, Ed.”

“Why would I not?”

“Because you hardly ever do.”

“Gonna keep it on the horizon, like a vee five pen, Double Dee.”

Eddward just rolled his eyes at whatever analogy Ed created. They walked in silence for a while, and Ed kept true to… whatever he was talking about, and avoided any low hanging obstacles.

“Double Dee?”

“Yes Ed?”

“What you did was brave today.”

“I guess. It was out if fear and being tired of them.”

“Hmmph. Everybody’s getting tired of everything, I don’t get it.”

“Well… you see Ed… we’re getting older, things change. And before you say it; you cannot stop change or growing up, regardless of what your comic books, or other media you like, tell you. It’s all fantasy.”

“Maybe I’m tired of change.” Ed huffed.

“Many folks are. Nobody said all change is good. But if you don’t change and grow… you’ll be left behind. Don’t you think the Kanker sisters should change?”

“Maybe.”

“Don’t you think Sarah should change? Or do you like that she’s mean to you and hates you?”

“Sarah doesn’t hate me!”

“Ed. Remember Eddy’s brother and how he treated Eddy?”

Ed rummaged through his brain to that summer.

“Ed remembers.”

“Good. Now do you think Eddy’s brother loves and cares about Eddy with how cruel he was?”

“Oh no, he was a prime cut jerk!”

“Then why do you think Sarah feels love for you, when she treats you the same way he treats Eddy? Would a loving sibling get you in trouble when you did nothing wrong… hmmm? Would she yell at you and call you names, make you do her chores? Does that sound fair?”

Ed didn’t say anything.

“She treats you like shit, Ed. You should be mad.”

Ed didn’t say anything for the rest of the walk. Eddward just wanted the best for his friend, his home life wasn’t that great, and he wondered if some of Ed’s seemingly blissful ignorance and escapism via movies, comic books, and going along with Eddy’s scams, despite the risk, was on purpose, and how perhaps some of those coping mechanisms, if that’s what they are, has stunted him in some ways. What could be a cry for help?

It wasn’t much longer before the cul-de-sac came in view. Ed carried him up to his door, sat him down and walked home.

“I’ll see you later, Ed,” he called out.

Ed said nothing.

“What’s wrong with him?” Eddy walked up.

“He probably has a lot on his mind.”

“That’s not saying much. What, chickens and buttered toast‽” Eddy started laughing.

“Ya know Eddy… you really push your luck, knowing what Ed is capable of. I would hope you don’t underestimate him, for that would prove you’re as dumb as you think he his.”

“Where the hells all that coming from?”

Edd scowled back. “If Ed gets tired of you and you piss him off… that day with the pebble won’t be saying much.  You honestly have too much mouth and attitude for somebody who can’t fight. I know I can’t fight, so I do best to mind my manners… of course… I have more effective ways to fight back, if I were inclined.”

“What‽ I can fight!”

“Really? Hey Jonny, can I ask you a question?”

“Sure, buddy! Shoot!” Jonny walked over.

“Remember that time Plank beat Eddy in a wrestling match?”

Jonny started to laugh. “What a riot that was! Eddy didn’t know what hit him! All that false bravado and Plank took him down in thirty seconds!”

“I rest my case,” Edd said smugly.

“Thanks for reminding me about that!  He even pinned him!” Jonny kept laughing. “What? Oh yeah. Plank wanted to know if you were okay? We heard about what happened. Looks like they really got you.”

“I’m not in as much pain now, thank you for asking.”

“Plank sez time heals all wounds.”

“That’s true.”

“We also heard you pepper sprayed them.”

“That piece of wood cheated,” Eddy yelled.

“I did, I made preparations for when they would come after me. I didn’t expect they would take it out on Eddy and Ed, as well.”

“Somebody said it stained them green, what kinda pepper spray is that?”

“One in which I distilled one of Ed’s gym socks to make.”

“Distilled…? Oh you mean like an essential oil or moonshine,” he asked Plank. “You’re a mad scientist, Double Dee!”

“I guess that does fit my current state of mind. Now I need to soak in the tub.”

“Plank sez to add Epsom salt.”

“That’s a fantastic idea!”

“Okay, we have homework, see ya.” Jonny walked back home.

“Enjoy your day.”

“That wood beat you fair and square,” Edd said with a chuckle.

“I gave all three Kankers a wallop after you maced them!”

“I know you did. I’d expect such a dirty, foul trick from you. If you don’t mind—not that I care if you do… but I have a bath to run. Good day to you.”

“What a jerk!”

“Takes one to know one,” Sarah said to him as she walked by.

“Yeah? And you’re the queen of them, pipsqueak.”

“What‽ Do you want a knuckle sandwich, ‘cause I’m already mad I had detention because of your stupid friend!”

“Yeah, I heard what you did! He’s right; you are a Lee junior.” Eddy went to his house.

“Like you’re one to talk! You’re as bad as I am!”

Eddward just shook his head and shut the door. He checked and found no new sticky notes, so his parents either have not, or not had the time to talk with the school. Upstairs he dropped his messenger bag on the floor. He went to run a bath and saw himself in the mirror as he cautiously stripped down. His eye and parts of his face was swollen, bruises everywhere, big ones on his torso. Embarrassment, anger, shame, washed over him. He remembered the Epsom salt and went to retrieve it before the tub filled.

He paid no attention to the time he spent soaking, that day was just too much for him. When he finally got out, there was a bit of relief. There was a knock on his door, with a grumble, he walked down in a towel to answer it.

“Yes—oh… Ed, I just got out of the bath, what do you need?”

“My parents want you to come over about Sarah.”

“Sarah…?”

“Because of earlier.”

“Come in while I get myself together.”

Ed stood in the living room while Eddward went to his room. Eddward sat out a fresh pair of clothes, found some Bengay to apply to himself with a mild sigh of relief. He remembered the cameras and grabbed his laptop just incase what happened went south for them and Sarah got away with preverbal murder. He heard the doorbell ring.

“Ed, see who that is, please and thank you!”

Ed opened the door to find Nazz.

“Oh! Hi Ed.”

“Hiya, Nazz,” he greeted with a smile.

“I was just coming to see if Double Dee was still joining us for dinner. How’s he doing?”

Ed scratched his head. “Double Dee is… ummm… tired of stuff and angry a lot.”

“Yeah… I feel that. I mean his injuries, though.”

“Oh, I have not asked yet, no time. Can I ask you something?”

“Sure, anything.”

“Double Dee said Sarah’s like Eddy’s brother and like Lee, is… is that true?”

Nazz wasted no time with an answer. “Yeah, dude. She’s probably that bad, and if she’s not; she’s totally on her way there. Your sister is the reason Double Dee is beat up. She stopped us from getting away, pointed us out to them, and stopped me from trying to help him.”

Ed was silent and took it all in.

“You understand me, Ed?”

“Yeah. Double Dee told me how the moldy food I eat is like the fungus drones that take over your body, so I stopped eating that stuff, so I wouldn’t lose my brain. I even showered.”

She was confused assumed whatever it was, it was Eddward trying to help. “Yeah, Ed, Double Dee’s right, and I can tell you’re a little… less… stinky.”

“Ah-ha! So it is working! Take that evil spores!”

“Nazz, good evening,” Edd greeted as he came down the steps.

“Double Dee, you feeling better?”

“For the most part, yes.”

“That’s good. I wanted to know if you were still coming for dinner?”

Eddward shooed them outside, Kevin was taking out the trash.

“Dinner with you—oh yes, I’d love to, but I’m afraid I won’t be able to make it on time.  Ed’s parents asked to discuss Sarah with me.”

“I can tell my mom and she’ll wait.”

“I’m not sure how long it’ll take, and it’s late enough, as is.”

“It’s fine. I’ll tell her what you’re doing. We really enjoy your company, and I also asked her about… you know… that thing we did last night? She said she would join in, if it helps, if you’re not hurting too bad.” Nazz didn’t want Ed to know.

“I suppose we could. You know me, I don’t wanna be a bother.”

“Dude, it’s fine.”

“Last night…? What were they doing last night? The hell,” Kevin asked himself.

“We’re gonna have fun, and you’re gonna feel better. Just knock on the door when you’re done.”

Nazz hugged him and kissed his cheek.

“Well… I might need such services after dealing with whatever I’m walking into.”

“That’s the spirit!”

“What the fuck is going on,” Kevin muttered.

“Shall we, Ed?”

“We shall,” he said with a bow.

Kevin watched the three go to the houses, and Nazz gave one last look in the Ed’s direction before going inside.

“Mom, dad… Double Dee’s here,” Ed called out.

“We’re in the kitchen,” his mom called out.

“Hello, good evening, mister and misses Lanning,” Edd greeted.

Ed’s parents, and Sarah were sitting at the table.

“Have a seat, you two. I’d offer dinner, but we ate earlier.” Ed’s mom said as she gave Ed her seat.

“Right here Double Dee,” Ed’s dad said.

“Thank you for the offer, I had just gotten out of the tub from a long soak, when Ed came over. Nazz and her mom have invited me over tonight.”

“That’s good. Jeeze… your face.” Ed’s mom inspected it.

“Quite the shiner, those Kanker girls did that, eh? How was Sarah here involved,” Ed’s dad asked.

Sarah gave him a nasty glare.

“The sisters were looking for me, after giving Ed and Eddy a beating earlier that day—”

“Son… you didn’t tell us they got you too.” His dad glared.

“Oh… it… umm, wasn’t too bad.”

His dad looked at Eddward and back at him.

“Well, if I may; I was talking with Nazz between classes when the sisters came about, we tried to avoid them, and Sarah called them over and pointed me out, then when Nazz told me to run, Sarah tripped me. From there, once I was… hemmed up… she stopped Nazz from helping me.”

“You’re just lying! You can’t really believe I would do that, right,” Sarah whined

Everybody looked at her.

“That bruise on her arm is from Nazz subduing her, before she could assist me, but I used that distraction to mace the sisters.”

Their parents looked at each other, Ed started to speak but stopped when Sarah shot him a death stare.

“You have something to say, Ed,” his mother asked.

He clammed up at the sight of Sarah.

“Say it, Ed,” his dad demanded.

He looked at Eddward, who seemed to have a concerned look, he looked back at Sarah.

“Ed… what do you know,” his dad asked in a level tone.

“Sarah did those things! I saw them happen!”

“Ed,” Sarah yelled.

“Both line up to what Nazz told us,” Ed’s dad stated.

“What,” Sarah shrieked.

“I was there, Eddy was yelling at me for not helping, she was going to fight Nazz with May! Sarah’s always mean and vile,” Ed yelled as he started to snap.

“None of that is true,” Sarah yelled.

“It is! You lie, Sarah! Evil sister! Evil like Lee, evil!” Ed jumped out of seat.

“Okay, okay! Calm down, you two,” their dad yelled.

 “Ask anybody!”

“Sarah… why would you do those things? Double Dee, Nazz, and Ed said the same thing,” their dad spoke.

“Sarah, you’re usually so well-behaved,” their mom stated. “Is it hormones, are you on your period?”

“Oh dear.” Edd gasped.

“Mom,” Sarah whined.

“Evil!”

“Ed, please,” their mom said.

“He’s not wrong,” Edd said as he calmed down. “We can all attest that her actions are about par for the course. Ed here gets the blunt of it all, but we’ve all in one way, or the other, have suffered her wraith. Especially Eddy, although sometimes he actually deserved it.”

“Sarah,” both parents asked.

“Mm-hmm. She plays a good game, and uses your parenting as an advantage in her favor. Maybe hormones are partly responsible for my new look on life, but I have been fed up with many things lately.”

“We can understand how your home life impacts you,” their mom said.

“Yes.” Edd nodded. “The cruel actions of others is another thing I’ve grown tired of. The other day, the Kankers pushed me to the edge and I went off on them. Sarah was there, and I told her that she would be no better than Lee, on the path she keeps walking.”

“So this really isn’t anything new,” her mom asked and looked at her.

She was quiet.

“I may have physical proof,” Edd explained.

“Jimmy doesn’t even wanna be her friend, because she’s mean to him,” Ed added.

“That’s true. I talked to him,” Edd agreed.

“So where’s this proof,” their dad asked.

“It’s right here in this house. But I must preface this, that I am oh, so terribly sorry for such an intrusion and breach of trust. Ed’s my friend, and I want him to feel safe in his home, as well as prosper academically, as best he can. I’m just looking out for him and his mental wellbeing. I placed cameras strategically around here to catch Sarah being her usual cruel self.”

The family stared dumbfounded.

“I would understand if I’m no longer welcome, or trusted, I’m just so fed up with everything.” He pulled out his laptop.

“You what,” Sarah growled.

“Double Dee… this better be good,” their dad threatened.

“Ed… could you kindly retrieve the camera from your room, it’s mounted by your TV, you can’t miss it.” His tone grew assertive.

“Sure.”

“Where’s the other ones at?” Their dad grew angry.

“There’s one in the living room on the right side, aimed towards the steps, and Misses Lanning, there’s one behind you.”

Their dad got up to find the one in the living room, their mom quickly found the one in the kitchen. Eddward unlocked his laptop and pulled out a USB cable.

Ed came running up the steps. “I found it!”

“Very good, Ed, I’m proud of you.” He took it.

“I found your spy cam.” Their dad slammed it on the table.

Their mom huffed. “If he’s telling the truth… then she gets her anger from you.”

“We’ll start with the kitchen… and I will delete any information not pertaining to Ed and Sarah.

Eddward downloaded the footage one by one from each camera, then placed them in his bag. Their parents crowded around him as he sorted the recording files  and looked at the thumbnails.

“Please… if it looks like something I shouldn’t see, by the thumbnail, please point it out, so I can swiftly delete it.”

“You betcha, we will,” their dad said.

Eddward started with the kitchen camera that shown him placing it down, it played the whole conversation between Jimmy and Sarah. Sarah had jumped up and looked, so did Ed. It ended when Jimmy left, and Sarah went up stairs. Eddward skipped any video that didn’t have them in it. This went on for thirty minutes, before he organized them in chronological order and isolated them from the rest. When they were done, Sarah tried to sneak away, but her mom grabbed her arm.

“Is there a way you can give this to us,” she asked.

“It just so happens that I have a spare flash drive.” Edd reached in his bag.

“I’m still mad, Double Dee… but it seems we have some things to discuss with darling daughter here,” their dad stated.

“I think we owe Ed a big apology,” their mother added. “Get to your damn room, right now! March!”

Sarah ran upstairs. Eddward finished transferring the files.

“Here it all is, mister Lanning. I await your punishment.”

“Dear… don’t be too hard on him.”

“I can’t. He’s not ours. Double Dee, I’m too miffed to think of something right now, please just leave, and we’ll figure it out later.”

“I understand.” Edd nodded. “I shouldn’t have done it, but I thought it was for a good cause. I’m not one for vigilante justice—”

“You’re normally a good, respectful kid, I know. That’s why I need to think. This was a breach of trust, but you’ve  never done anything bad. And looking at you… I don’t blame you for macing them.”

Edd packed his laptop. “I’ll take my leave, I hope you all otherwise have a good night.”

“You take care, sweetheart,” their mom said.

“See ya at school, Double Dee.” Ed went to hug him, but remembered he was hurt.

“Good night, Ed.”

Eddward left the house and went to Nazz’s. Kevin had been staking out the cul-de-sac and spotted him at the door.

“What’s he doing, as late as it is?”

He watched Nazz open the door in her pajamas, hug him, and pull him inside.

“What the fuck‽”

“Again… I’m sorry to have kept you waiting. Things at Ed’s ran later than I had realized.”

“No problem, sugar! I wanted to see how you were doing, Ooo… they got you good, honey. Look… I have a prescription that’ll help,” Nazz’s mom said, with a tinge of the accent from her home country, her grandparents came from.

“Pills? Not prescribed to me?”

“I’ll just give you a few. Enough for a few days. I can’t imagine that’s tolerable.”

“Double Dee, I know how you feel, but, please… I don’t like seeing you hurt.”

“Normally I would decline, but sure, why not?”

“Great! Now you just get comfortable, we were watching TV, so we’ll just eat in here. I hope that’s not too informal for you?”

“Not at all, your house, your rules.”

“That’s right.” She said as she went to the kitchen.

Nazz grabbed his hand, and sat him on the couch.

“My mom wouldn’t give you anything that would actually hurt you.”

“Ya know, Double Dee… I kinda like you more than that Kevin boy!”

“Mom, stop,” Nazz yelled back and blushed a little.

“What‽ I know you like wannabe bad boys, but Double Dee—”

“You’re embarrassing me!”

Eddward chuckled.

“Don’t listen to her, she’s crazy. How did it go at Ed’s?”

“Well, I believe it was a success with showing their parents how Sarah really is.”

“How’d you do it?”

Her mom walked back in with food.

“I umm… placed spy cameras up. I’m not too proud of that, but something needed to be done, and I’ll accept whatever consequences come from it.”

“Aren’t you a brave one!” Her mom sat his plate down, that accent a bit more obvious in her excitement.

“It needed to be done.”

“Nazz,” her mom sang.

“Mom, stop.”

Her mom laughed. “So you maced them? I have a friend that teaches self-defense classes, I can probably get you private training. I know you’re not much of a fighter, but sometimes mace doesn’t always work, or you can’t get to it… forgot it.”

“That mace will probably work on anybody, he juiced one of Ed’s socks for it,” Nazz explained.

“I might rather get shot, than have that boys funk sprayed in my face. Like totally.”

Nazz and Eddward laughed.

“I think I have him convinced to improve his hygiene, so we may not be suffering too much longer. That means the formula won’t last forever. It’s probably the only good thing to come from it.”

Before they started eating, her mom handed him a pill. “Might wanna take this now, and there’s eight more of them. Should hold you over for the worst of it.”

“Thanks miss Von Bartonshmeer.”

Eddward enjoyed his late dinner with them. They were watching a movie on TV, before he knew it, both of them leaned close and cuddled with him, it  was worth the bit of dull pain, the pill was stabbing off. Nazz held his hand, while her mom rested a hand on his thigh. It wasn’t long before he actually dozed off. Her mom took her phone and took a picture of him leaning on Nazz.

“Should we just let him sleep on the couch?”

“No, he might not like that. He’s usually… fickle would be a good word.”

“Doesn’t he look kinda dreamy?”

“He looks like he’s dreaming. Mom please… I’m dating Kev.”

“That’s not gonna last.” She rolled her eyes.

Nazz scoffed and went to gently wake up Eddward. “Double Dee… hey… wake up.”

“Hmm? Nazz?” He stirred.

“You dozed off, dude.”

“Sorry about that. Heavens… it must be late.”

“It’s fine, man.”

“Sure is,” her mom added.

“I’ll walk you home, okay?”

“There’s no need.” He stretched and winced.

“I’m walking you home, dude.”

Nazz grabbed his bag, and her mom helped him up.

“Can’t have you falling asleep on the way. I remember that day you looked like you had narcolepsy.”

Nazz grabbed his hand and walked him to his door.

“It’s already open.”

Nazz opened the door and walked him all the way to his room and sat his bag on the desk.

“Here you are.”

“Thank you, Nazz… you’re too kind.”

“You catch some z’s, Double Dee. I’ll lock up.”

They shared a smile and she quickly left and locked the door behind her.

Chapter Text

 Eddward walked through the school slightly on edge, knowing if the Kankers were there, they would be out for revenge.

“Double Dee!”

He looked and saw Nazz running towards him.

“Dude… you sleep well?”

Kevin came down the hall and saw them talking.

“I slept very well, and I can probably thank your mom and her drug pushing for that.”

Nazz giggled. She stood close to him and to Kevin, it looked like she was flirting.

“I thought you were trying to lighten up?”

“I thought it was funny.”

“That’s it, keep in good spirits.”

“I do feel a tad bad for falling asleep.”

“You needed it.”

“Unlike you, it’ll take many nights of beauty sleep before I’m back to normal.”

Nazz laughed.

“So what’s going on here,” Kevin walked up and asked.

“Nazz was just checking up on me, and we were having a nice talk.”

“Right—oh! I should be going. See ya, babe.” Nazz ran off.

“I as well, Kevin. I’ll see you later.” Edd walked away.

“What?”

“You’re one lucky guy so far,” Nat said, as Eddward sat down.

“How?”

“From what I heard; the Sanderson sisters got suspended.”

“They need more than that, but I suppose that will do.”

“It’ll be a nice break, that’s for sure.”

lWith this new information, other than being sore, his day was much better. He saw Eddy and Ed, and Ed looked annoyed at Eddy’s ranting. Nat, Rolf, and Jonny were talking, there was Kevin and Nazz.

“Hello Ed, how’s things,” Edd greeted.

“Double Dee! Save me from this miscreant!”

“What the hell, Ed‽” Eddy yelled.

“I haven’t seen Sarah today.”

“Oh! My parents took her to a shrink, after going over your spy stuff.”

“Well I hope she gets the help she needs.”

“I know you’re not ignoring me, Sockhead,” Eddy snapped.

Eddward shot him a glare, the moment he went to speak, Jimmy interrupted him.

“Double Dee, thanks for the advice!”

“Hmm?” He turned around.

“About… you know. We talked and I think I’m going to be okay.”

“Okay about what, Fluffy,” Eddy asked.

“Ah yes! That’s good. Make sure when it comes down to it; don’t let anybody stop you from being you, there’s nothing wrong with it.”

“What are you two talking about,” Eddy asked.

“It’s not your business, Eddy,” Edd replied.

“Kevin… please… you’re being kind of a jerk, right now,” Nazz said.

“C’mon babe. All I’m saying is we need to spend more time together. You’ve been spending a lot of time with Double Dee and Soft Serve.”

“Soft—see! That’s what I’m talking about. Jimmy’s my friend, too, and they’re both going through something. That’s why you’re a jerk. It’s been two days, I can’t be attached to your hip all day.” Nazz walked off.

Her sour mood changed quickly when she saw Eddward.

“Hey guys. How ya feeling, Double Dee?”

“Much better, thanks to you and your mother.”

“Hiya Nazz! Sarah’s been had!”

“I heard, Ed.” She smiled.

“She’s seeing a shrink. There was peacetime.”

“She probably needs it. Jimmy, you wanna hang out later—well actually I needed Double Dee’s help with science.”

“Oh, you both are welcome over, I wouldn’t mine the company,” Edd replied.

“Awesome dude. After cheerleading practice, you in Jimmy?”

“Sure. I need to talk to you about something private, anyway. I could use your support, Double Dee.”

“You have my assistance.”

“So how’d your parents take the news,” Nazz asked.

“I’m not sure if they’ve even received it, much less have a decent opinion on it,” he said, and looked away.

“We’re here for you, dude.” She gave him a hug.

Kevin decided he was going to get to the bottom of that issue.

At lunch Eddward made an attempt to sit alone with his thoughts, but he was joined by Ed and Eddy, Ed sat near him.

“C’mon man, when are you gonna lose the attitude and let things go back to normal,” Eddy asked.

“When you stop being an insufferable asshole. I don’t want normal, if that means I must suffer through everybody else’s negativity.”

“Yo, whassup?” Kevin sat down. “You find a bike yet?”

“I may have narrowed a few down.”

“Would be cool to have somebody to ride with.”

Kevin smiled at the idea, but it was quickly erased when Nazz sat next to Eddward.

“Hey guys. It’s been pretty nice without some of the problem kids.”

“I’ll say!” Jonny sat down with Plank.

“What do you thinks gonna happen to’em,” Kevin asked.

“Probably nothing that’ll stick. Some people just can’t be helped,” Edd answered.

“I agree, even when good things finally happen to them, like finally being somewhat popular…” She looked at Eddy. “Or they get the girl.” She looked at Kevin. “Some people just can’t help themselves.”

“One could say it was self-destructive nature,” Edd added.

“You ever notice that sometimes it’s like karma looks past them, or doesn’t do enough,” Jonny asked.

“That’s quite the observation. It does seem that more good deeds don’t go unpunished, or at least, in my experience, receives the backlash.”

“Why don’t we enjoy that they aren’t here,” Ed asked.

“You’re right, Ed. Other than Eddy here, we should enjoy it, think positive thoughts and let’s not let them ruin our day, when they aren’t even here.”

“So… umm Nazz? You wanna do something after practice?”

“I would love to, Kevin.”

He smiled.

“I got something to do right afterwards. I need—”

“That’s fine, it’s whatever.” Kevin got up.

“What got into him,” Jonny asked.

“His idea of doing something, nine times from ten, is making out, and getting touchy feely, anyway,” she said with a pout.

“If you and the Crimson Chin are on the outs, I’m available, Nazz,” Eddy flirted.

“Eddy,” Edd hissed. “That’s exactly what I’m talking about.”

“Right. Kevin’s your friend, dude. Not cool. Besides, you’re just as bad, if not worse. It’ll never fucking happen. What makes you think I would be interested in a guy like you, I mean… Kevin’s lucky, and his luck might be running out.”

“Jeez! A simple no woulda been fine! Stomp my balls, why don’cha!”

“Be gone evilest of the Ed’s!” Ed picked him up and tossed him.

“Would you like me to talk to him,” Edd offered.

“Eddy? Has it ever worked?”

“No, Kevin,” he corrected.

“That probably wouldn’t work either, but I appreciate it.” She sighed and leaned on him. “I wish at least some of you would rub off on him.”

“See? Look Rolf… I just know somethings up between them.”

“Things may be not as they seem, Kevin,” Rolf said.

The rest of school was pretty much uneventful, Eddward walked home with Ed, who prattled on about this and that.

“…and so the king crab succumbed to the fury of the slug men.”

“That’s… interesting,” Edd spoke with uncertainty.

“I hope Sarah’s gonna be okay.”

“It’s just a mental evaluation, Ed. Nothing to worry about. She has anger issues, and they’re trying to find out why.”

“She can be scary sometimes.”

“Yeah. Not as scary as you can be, though.”

“Me?”

“Mmm-hmm. That day you had the pebble in your shoe, for example. That was Sarah levels of outrage, but with… a bit less anger, honestly. I still don’t understand how you let something like that, get you so bothered. You’re insanely, unreasonably strong, and tough. Eddy is right on one thing; as proven that day, you don’t need to be a pushover. If I can defend myself…  me… you can do it too.”

Ed thought about his words, the rest of the walk.

They parted ways, Ed insisted he wanted to try his homework, and see if Sarah was okay. Eddward thought on how much he cared about the little hellion, who didn’t really deserve it. He surveyed his home for anything new.  He hadn’t done anything to the home, the kitchen table, and the items upon it were still as Nazz put them.  He couldn’t find a logical reason to why clean things needed to be cleaned, nearly every day. He was also still rather sore, and was not up to much of any laborious task.

Eddward prepared his homework, and sat fourth to run a bath. For once in his life, he thought about looking into holistic medicine, one of few subjects he thought below a man of science. He wanted to see if there was anything that would help his bruises, and ease his pain—despite the retaliations of days past, by his friends, that were to him, tantamount to lynching, he never suffered such a beating. What he discovered was that most of the herbs were in some of the tea downstairs. With a few bags tossed in, he waited, swirled the water around to mix the teas, then let the water cool some.

“I hope the claimed benefits actually work,” he said to himself as he lowered in the tub.

He made to keep an eye on the time, because Nazz and Jimmy were going to come over after cheerleading practice, and he wanted to at least get some of his homework done before they arrived. When he got out, there was no noticeable change, other than being relaxed. The bruises were still there, still looked rather fresh, but he knew things took time. With his hair dried, he put his robe on, and slippers, went and started his homework.

“He won’t be expecting us to pay him a visit,” Lee said as they cut across to the cul-de-sac.

“My hairs still green,” May growled.

“It looks like an improvement,” Marie said with a chuckle.

“Fuck you!”

“Quiet you idiots! Focus! Save your beatings until after we beat up the sock puppet.”

“He’ll be begging for my love, after I show him how much hate and fear he’ll get.”

Cheerleading practice ended before football practice, Nazz and Jimmy walked together.

“I can’t wait until I can drive,” Nazz complained.

“You said it, sister. I want a Miata,” he replied.

“Oh, that does sound nice. Was it me, or did Kevin seem real brutal at football practice?”

“Those hormones really are raging. Watching them practice was kinda… distracting.”

“I noticed. You almost dropped Gwen.”

“I said I was sorry. Wait. Why don’t you ride your bike?”

“Kevin’s supposed to be fixing it. What about you?”

“Kevin won’t fix it. And I don’t have a lock.”

“Lemme guess… too girly, or something?”

“Sometimes he’s such a jerk, I don’t know what you see in him—no offense.”

“None taken.”

“I mean… I know he’s tough, a jock, has those… muscles. A lean bad boy machine—”

“Jimmy?” Nazz gave him a puzzled look.

He blinked a few times. “I’m sorry, what?”

“Are you—”

“I’m fine, I just—never mind, I must be tired.”

She gave him a weird look.

pEddward heard his doorbell ring.

“This is gonna be great,” Marie cheered.

“Shut up,” Lee hissed.

“That must be Nazz and Jimmy. Ha-hang on!”

Eddward went down the steps, and for the door.

“I was in the middle of homework, sorry I didn’t have refresh—,” he said as he opened the door. “Ments.”

His eyes were wide as he realized it was the Kanker sisters.

“Hiya, dreamboat. We need to have a chat,” Marie said.

“We have nothing to talk about, Marie. Now if you please, I’m expecting company.”

“Tell’em to take a number. Look here numbnuts… we don’t appreciate your chemical warfare—that’s a cheap shot, and getting us suspended,” Lee shouted.

“Yes, well… actions have consequences. You would not have been maced, suspended, or smacked in the face with a backpack, if you refrained from being violent because you don’t get your way.”

“Oh yeah‽ Now we’re going to get even more violent,” Lee argued back.

“Do you not learn anything‽ Allow me to put it in words you’ll understand; do stupid, criminal shit… win stupid, criminal prizes!”

“Hey, I understood that part,” May replied.

Marie smacked her up side the head.

“See‽ That was uncalled for! You didn’t need to hit her for that!”

“Don’t tell us how to treat her,” Lee yelled and hit May again.

“That wasn’t nice,” May yelled and hit them both back.

“If she can see how wrong it is, then why can’t you? Now I’m done with this foolish conversation.”

“So are we,” Lee agreed.

“Good. Now kindly get the fuck off of my premises. Enjoy the rest of your day.” Edd went to shut the door.

Lee stuck her foot in the door. “I’m about to enjoy beating the shit out of you, and making an example. Girls!”

The three of them pulled out a miniature Louisville Slugger bats. Lee grabbed him.

“Now unhand me!”

Lee tossed him in his yard.

“Now this is what happens when you mess with the Kankers,” Lee bellowed.

“You’re all crazy! There’s no reasoning with you!”

Marie grabbed his robe tie. “Ya know… I always wondered what you were packing.”

“Stop that!” He reached to slap her hand away.

Marie hit his hand with her bat. “Aht aht!”

May grabbed his robe, as he scrambled to back away. Lee hit him in one of his knees.

“You ain’t in charge here,” Lee snapped.

“That hurt!”

“S’possed to. It’s an ass whuppin’!”

Marie untied and yanked his robe tie.

“Oh, that’ll be good for later,” May said.

“My thought, exactly,” Marie replied.

Jonny and Eddy looked out their doors.

“Oh shit, what are they doing here,” Eddy asked.

“Looks like they want revenge on Double Dee, Plank.”

“I’m going to be exposed! Please!”

“You ain’t goin’ nowhere!” Lee grabbed his feet when he tried to crawl away.

May hit him in the back. Nazz and Jimmy walked around the corner.

“Let me see it,” Marie screeched as she hit him after each word in the back.

“Oh my goodness! Double Dee,” Jimmy shouted.

Nazz gasped. “Not again!”

Eddward kicked out of Lee’s grip and landed one to her stomach.

“Serves you right, for being a dick, lately,” Eddy yelled.

Nazz ran up and pushed May down, and tackled Lee. “Run, Double Dee!”

“Back off, bimbo,” Lee growled and threw her off.

“It’s this bitch again,” Marie exclaimed.

Eddward took her distraction to get up and run.

“No you don’t!” Marie snatched his robe.

He desperately slipped out of it. May jumped up and tackled him back down.

“Gotcha!”

“Hey, I got first dibs! You two can fight over my sloppy seconds!”

Nazz wrestled with Lee, Jimmy stood helpless out of the way.

“We should spank him for running away,” May suggested.

“Good idea!”

May moved and Marie hit him on the butt with her bat, followed by May. He cried out and flailed.

“Be still, or I’ll stick it somewhere else,” Marie threatened.

“Somebody help,” he cried out.

Lee was on top of Nazz and choked her. “I’ll be right there!”

“No, you won’t,” Nazz gasped.

She wrapped her legs around Lee and punched her in the face, spread her arms away from her elbows and tossed her away.  She got up and snatched up May by her hair, kneed her in the stomach, a palm strike to the nose and May screamed.

“You think you’re tough, huh?” Marie stood.

Nazz took a judo pose. “Bring it!”

Marie rushed her and swung her bat, Nazz dodged her and used an opening to punch her in the jaw, while she was briefly dazed, she gave her a sweep kick. Eddward ran off.

“You get’em, girlfriend,” Jimmy cheered.

“You can get some, too, ya faggot,” Lee sneered.

“Wow! Look at him go… naked,” Jonny blurted.

Lee stomped up to Nazz. “That karate shit won’t work on me!”

Eddward ran to his shed and grabbed a hockey stick. As hurt and afraid as he was, he was furious.

Chapter Text

Lee went to throw a punch, Nazz blocked it, but she quickly followed up with another one and landed square in her mouth. Nazz staggered back and Lee smirked. Nazz jumped up with a spin kick, that hit Lee in the side of the head, just as Marie grabbed her. Lee was dazed, she stumbled some, but came back and punched Nazz in the eye. Nazz stomped on Maries foot and head-butted her, then flipped her over her, into Lee.

“Holy shit… Nazz really can fight!” Eddy watched in awe.

Eddward came back with a scream, wildly swinging the hockey stick. Eddy laughed. Lee yanked Marie up, May stood and dodged his swing, blood ran from her nose, and tripped him. Marie and Lee laughed.

“Now don’t go anywhere,” May growled.

The sisters turned to Nazz to gang up on her, she did her best to block their punches, dodge what she could and took a few hits. She caught one of Lee’s punches and used her as a shield for one of May’s kicks, Marie grabbed her hair, Nazz closed the gap with a jump, wrapped her legs around her and initiated a back flip toss, that landed both of them flat on their backs. Eddward saw as the other two went to kick her, he grabbed the hockey stick and swung it at May’s ankles, then on the back swing, as Lee kicked Nazz, landed hard on the back of hers. Nazz coughed hard.

“Still thinkin’ yer tough, huh,” Lee growled.

She grabbed the hockey stick from him and went to swing it down on him. Nazz and Marie scrambled up, Nazz grabbed the stick and kicked Marie in the chin.

“I’m fucking sick of getting kicked and tossed!”

Lee turned around. “Let… go!”

They fought over it, Eddward grabbed Lee’s leg and bit her, she cried out and kicked his shoulder. Nazz spun and broke Lee’s grip.

“Fine. I’ll just kick your asses with this!”

Jonny ran up to Jimmy.

“What do we do,” Jimmy asked.

Jonny thought for a moment. “Great! Plank sez to get Ed.” They both ran to Ed’s and kicked at one of the basement windows.

“Ed’s working hard, right now,” he opened the window and yelled.

“Ed help,” Jimmy yelled.

“Nazz and Double Dee are getting beat up by the Kankers! You gotta help, big guy,” Jonny explained.

“Oh no! Stand back!”

Both quickly stepped back, Ed stuck an arm out the window and pushed against the basement ceiling. They watched as the house tilted open, Ed crawled out and let the house drop back down.

“Tally-ho,” he yelled and ran.

Nazz flourished the hockey stick.

“Fancy, is that one of your cheerleading moves,” Marie taunted.

“Come find out! Ya know… I’m tired of how you treat Double Dee, if you really liked him, you wouldn’t be such a cunt!” Nazz stepped and swung.

Marie ducked, but Nazz followed up and cracked her in the shoulder. Rammed in in Lee’s stomach, when she pounced, side stepped and swung back at Marie in a spin, with a hit up side her head.

Ed stopped in his tracks and assessed what was going on, spotted Eddward on the ground and ran to him.

“Somebody stop tall, stupid, and stinky over there,” Lee wheezed.

“I guess you all want an ass kickin’,” May yelled.

Marie managed to get away from Nazz and pounce on Ed with May. They both kicked him over and over.

“Back off,” he yelled at the top of his lungs.

He grabbed Maries leg, used her as a bat and smacked May away.

“Hey! Leggo!”

Then he threw her back towards Lee, who was getting smacked around by Nazz. Marie watched her sister get hit in the side of the face, across the knees, in the arms, she leapt up to grab the thing from her, as she jabbed Lee in the chest, but Nazz spun it and smacked her in the back of the head with the other end, and sent her stumbling into Lee.

“Get off my porch, May,” Eddy yelled.

Nazz jabbed Marie in the face several times. Lee could barely stand.

Eddy picked May up and kicked her back towards her sisters. Nazz was furious and her adrenalin had taken over. She readied herself for a swing. Ed got up. Marie held her head and stared daggers at Nazz.

“I’ll fuck you up all day,” Nazz growled.

Lee was barely standing.

“Leave Ed’s friends alone,” he bellowed.

Lee and Marie turned to see him fuming.

“Double Dee is right! You’re evil, sinister… bitches!”

“Go Ed,” Eddy cheered.

“Aww man,” Jonny exclaimed.

Jimmy just gasped and covered his mouth.

“Stay away!”

Rolf and Kevin came around the corner from football practice, just as Ed grabbed both sisters and tossed them towards the junkyard.

“Have my eyes deceived me, or is that a flying Kanker,” Rolf asked.

“A what‽”

“There!” He pointed to Marie soaring in the sky.

“What the hell…? What the hell‽”

Ed flung May. Kevin was in shock of what he was seeing. Nazz dropped the hockey stick and ran to Eddward.

“What party did we miss,” Rolf wondered.

“Fuck… are you okay, Double Dee? Here… let me help.”

“I didn’t take too much damage compared to the other day.”

“Good, good.” She grabbed his robe and covered him up with it, and held him.

“What in the hell happened here,” Kevin asked.

“Kevin! You missed it. The Kankers showed up and attacked Double Dee, then Nazz came in to save the day! They really had him this time—they beat him with those bats,” Jonny explained.

“We got Ed before things got worse,” Jimmy added.

“Nazz beat the shit outta them, with that hockey stick!”

“Ed, let’s get him inside,” Nazz said.

“Dude! They had him naked and everything,” Jonny exclaimed.

“Yo Nazz, wait a minute!”

“Not now, Kev,” she snapped. “You coming Jimmy?”

“Oh yeah!” Jimmy ran over.

 “Damn it, Nazz,” Kevin yelled.

“Whatever it is, it can wait, Kevin.”

Ed picked Eddward up in his arms and carried him in his house with Nazz and Jimmy in tow.

“Sounds like Nazz really does have more moves than the leading of the cheers, and the go-go dancing,” Rolf stated.

“Shut up, Rolf,” Kevin said and went home.

Ed sat Eddward on the couch, Eddward groaned.

“Oh my god, those girls are impossible. I’ve been wanting to do that for a long time. If it weren’t for you, Double Dee, I might still be scared to fight them.”

“You did a better job… than me,” he replied and winced at the pain.

“We need to look at the damages,” Nazz said.

“Nazz… please,” he begged.

“I know, Double Dee… if it wasn’t important, I wouldn’t ask.”

He sighed and nodded.

“Guys, turn around,” Nazz instructed.

“N-nobody knows more first aid, than I do,” Jimmy stated.

Ed turned around and covered his eyes. “Please be okay, Double Dee.”

Eddward slowly lowered the bathrobe down, Nazz and Jimmy gasped.

“It’s bad, isn’t it?”

“It’s just… I really hate that this happened to you,” Nazz said and fought back tears.

Jimmy looked him over. “Do you mind if I…?”

“Go ahead, Jimmy.”

Jimmy felt around. “Nothings broken. Your fingers aren’t, so that’s good. We may wanna put them in a splint, anyway, just incase they’re fractured.”

“I still have that x-ray machine in the garage.”

“Looks like you were right, they didn’t do too much to you,” Nazz stated.

“Are you okay, Nazz,” he asked.

“I’ll… I’ll  be fine. I’m just—I’m so sorry this happened to you! It breaks my heart, Double Dee!”

Tears fell down her face.

“It is all unprecedented, yes.”

Jimmy gave her a hug.

“I’ll tell you one thing, after all of this; I think I will take you up on that offer for self-defense classes.”

“You and your sardonic sense of humor,” she said and repressed a laugh. “You can’t do it now.”

Eddward covered himself back up.

“If I knew I stood a chance, I’d have knocked them silly,” Jimmy said.

“I appreciate the thought, Jimmy,” Edd replied with a weak smile. “The world isn’t kind to people such as us, maybe we both should take that class. For now, let’s see if that old x-ray machine works.”

After the machine was up and ran, his fingers were found fine, they moved back in the living room.

“I wanted to talk to the both of you, but, we may not have time, I know you still have dinner after homework,” Jimmy stated while getting homework out.

“I don’t understand what any of that has to do with your important discussion,” Edd asked.

“Umm… well you always have a schedule, and it’s getting late.”

“Oh, the hell with it, Jimmy. I’ll even order a pizza. I think your issue is more important than some arbitrary curfew.” Edd picked up the phone.

“Do you know what it is, Double Dee?”

“I do, Nazz, but it isn’t mine to tell.”

“Is it some deep dark secret,” Ed asked.

“I don’t think it’s dark—or it shouldn’t be,” Jimmy stated.

“Mums the word,” Ed said with a giggle.

“Jimmy, do you think Ed should be present for this,” Edd asked.

Jimmy looked at him, and gave it some thought. “As long as he doesn’t spill the beans.”

“Ed… how about you fetch my homework from upstairs, and we can at least focus on that, until you get the nerve to discus it. I have my faith, that Nazz will have no problems… she really is sweet, kind,  and I dare say; cool.”

“Awe… Double Dee!” She blushed.

“I’m on it, Double Dee,” Ed announced and ran up stairs.

“The pizza won’t take long. Besides, after all that stress, it would be nice to relax with friends. I believe this is one of those times, I need to learn how to turn my brain off.”

“It has an off button,” Nazz asked.

He just chuckled at her.

Eddward finished his homework, and helped Nazz with her science homework, while Jimmy worked on his, and Ed watched TV.  It wasn’t long before the pizzas arrived. Eddward paid the man and sat them on the coffee table, once Jimmy cleared it off.

“Don’t forget to turn your brain off,” Nazz joked as she looked for a movie on a streaming service.

“I bet that’s one thing Ed could teach us,” Jimmy said with a giggle.

Nazz and Eddward laughed with him. It took Ed a minute to figure out the dig at his expense.

“Hey,” he cried out.

“Oh come on, big guy, it’s like your specialty. Double Dee’s all brain, you’re all muscle,” Jimmy replied.

“What would that make Eddy,” Edd wondered.

“Brains… brawn… hmm… misogynist, creep face,” Nazz deduced.

Edd laughed, then winced from the pain.

Nazz picked Baby Driver for them to watch. They enjoyed themselves, even Eddward, who was impressed by the drivers skills, despite his hearing issues. It was towards the end, when Jimmy spoke up.

“Okay, so, I think I’m ready.”

“Are you sure,” Edd asked.

He nodded. “I’ve thought about it, I want the right people to know. Nazz… you’re my friend, I like spending time with you. Maybe I’m… I’m being paranoid…”

Nazz tilted her head, but gave full attention.

“You’re probably real perceptive and don’t care, but ya can’t be too safe these days… people turn on people.”

“I won’t turn on you, dude. It’s not like you killed kittens, or something, right?”

“Oh god no!” He took a deep breath.

“Whatever it is, Jimmy is still my friend,” Ed added.

“I’d hope so.  This is still hard, and I’ve said it twice already.”

“Double Dee doesn’t think anything different of you, so it can’t be that bad. Just spit it out.”

“I’m try—”

“Go Jimmy, you can do it! Let it out,” she cheered.

“I’m gay!”

Nazz got quiet, Ed was a bit surprised.

“I’m gay… I umm… realized it not too long ago,” he explained with an edge of nervousness from the looks the two gave him. “I hope this doesn’t change our friendship.”

Nazz blinked and shook her head. “Of course not, dude. Why would it? At least it’s not something crazy, like knocking up Sarah.”

“Eww. Hell no.”

Nazz guffawed. “Now it makes sense about how you were talking about Kevin, earlier.”

“It doesn’t matter to you?”

“Fuck no… now I just got somebody I can gush on boys with!”

“I told you she would be fine with it. I never thought she had much hatred in her heart,” Edd explained.

“What about you, Ed? How do you feel about it,” Nazz asked.

They all turned to him.

He shrugged. “Gay Jimmy makes sense to me.”

“That’s great, thanks Ed!”

“No problem, Jimmy,” Ed said with his trademark goofy grin.

“And your secrets safe with us. Who else did you tell, exactly,” Nazz wondered.

‘I talked to Nat.”

“Please tell me that went well, and he didn’t try to get in your pants?” Nazz grew concerned.

“No, he took it pretty seriously and was pretty helpful to boot.”

“That’s good.”

“Does being gay feel different,” Ed asked.

Jimmy thought about it. “Kinda? I still feel like me. I don’t know how to explain it.”

“Don’t look at me. I turned my brain off.”

“I’m still just Jimmy, I know that much.”

“S’long’s you’re happy, I’m happy.”

“Thanks Ed,” Jimmy smiled.

The whole ordeal turned out better than he expected it, Nazz really was the friend he thought she was. They moved on as if the topic was unimportant, which put him at ease. For once in a while Eddward felt normal, no schemes, nothing crazy, just teens being teens.

“…and he’s been a jerk more than usual,” Nazz finished.

“You’d think all this time chasing you, he’d be appreciative,” Jimmy stated.

“Just earlier, after the fight, he was acting like whatever he wanted was more important than helping Double Dee.”

“He may have just been curious, and wondering if you were okay. I wouldn’t be surprised if he saw you dispatching the Kankers with my hockey stick.”

“Then don’t you think he’d have came by, by now? If he saw that, then he saw everything,” Jimmy replied.

“I suppose so.”

“He’s just jealous I’m spending time with somebody that isn’t him,” Nazz said with a huff.

“Maybe. But he did try to get your attention the other day, and you ran off. Have you two spent any time together, lately?”

“Not… really? Between cheerleading practice, some babysitting gigs… you… and you, especially since you and Sarah fell out,” she listed.

“Perhaps he might be a bit jealous, sure. But he might be a bit upset about not having time—this is Kevin we’re talking about. He’s not really known for having emotions, or at least using the ones not anger.”

“Always gotta be the tough guy, edge lord,” Jimmy sang.

“You live across the street, though,” Ed added. “How can you not see him?”

“Good point, Ed. I’ll tall to him tomorrow at school.”

“Once everything’s understood, Kevin should be fine. Me on the other hand… I don’t know what’s worse; getting beat up again… or the fact that everybody has seen me naked.” Edd grimaced.

“Sarah didn’t!”

Edd scoffed. “We can’t just leave her out, now can we? Might as well get her over here, so she can see, too.”

“Umm… okay. I’ll go get her.” Ed jumped up and went for the door.

“Wait, Ed,” Nazz called out.

Jimmy had a look of horror.

“I’ll be right back so you can show off your birthday suit. Two shakes of a lamb’s tail.”

“For fucks sake, Ed! I was being sarcastic!”

Ed turned around confused. “Wait. You don’t—”

“No,” the three yelled.

“For as long as you’ve known me, Ed; why would I want anybody to see me naked‽”

“Oh. My bad,” he said quietly.

He sat back down in the chair, unsure what to do.

“Look Ed… I didn’t mean to yell… it’s just been quite the day today. I shouldn’t have gotten mad at you.”

“Ed gets confused and doesn’t understand all the time.”

“We know, Ed. We know you mean well,” Nazz said.

“I’m trying!”

“Yes, we can see that.”

“Where has Sarah been today,” Nazz wondered.

“Oh! My parents took her to a shrink! They said she had… what was it again? Brain something or other.”

“I hope she gets the help she needs. She can be impossible to deal with, sometimes.”

“Preaching to the choir, sister,” Jimmy said. “She can be quite the berserker

“That’s our Scottish heritage,” Ed said with a chuckle.

“That… kinda makes sense. Must be why Rolf has a similar inhuman strength,” Edd theorized.

“Europe must’ve been a tough place back then,” Nazz said in awe.

Eddward just smiled for a moment, taking it all in.

“What’re you smiling about,” Jimmy asked.

“Just… enjoying myself. It’s nice hanging out, not worried about my parents strict regulations, Eddy’s foolishness, other than the Kankers, it’s been a nice change.”

“It has been rather nice.” Jimmy smiled back.

Chapter Text

As sore as his hand was, he managed to get himself to school, and noticed Kevin gave him a look before he rode off. He thought it might be wise to tend to himself, but Nazz insisted to help him, he said it might be better if Jimmy would help, given Kevin’s sour mood.

“Hey, asshole,” somebody yelled out.

“There goes another morning delight,” Edd said with an eye roll.

“Never mind, Sarah, just keep going,” Jimmy replied just as annoyed.

“You hear me! You and that little bitch!”

Jimmy growled and turned around. “Look. We don’t have time to deal with you, so stow it! Whatever it is, whatever little trivial thing, got you all pissed off; get over it. We’re late.”

With that, Jimmy strutted off with Eddward, with no concern.

“Well said, Jimmy,” Edd spoke.

“Thanks. You were right, it was a nice day yesterday. I don’t miss her.”

After class, Edd made an effort to hopefully avoid Sarah. It was somewhat of a success until he felt himself yank backwards and pushed into a locker.

“What is this propensity to keep pushing me into lockers‽ Some infantile fad‽”

“Are you calling me an infant‽”

“No, but in the ways it fits, feel free to wear it,” he snapped.

“That stunt you pulled got me in a lot of trouble!” Sarah poked him in the chest.

“Yeah? That’s called consequences. It’s your own fault, not mine.”

“I got spanked!”

“And I’m sure that was long past due, Sarah. You’re quite the spoiled, insufferable brat!”

“And now I need to see a shrink! Do you know how embarrassing that is?”

“Oh I’m sure if it was, you wouldn’t have just yelled it to everybody in the school. But I bet it really is, now.” He gave her a smug smile.

She just realized what happened, and heard people saying how she was seeing a psychiatrist, that she was crazy, how it was about time. She was upset and Eddward knew that well enough, when her embarrassment comes from her own self, she gets madder than usual.

“Look what you did!”

“Tut-tut. You did that. Learn to accept responsibility for your own actions. See where blind anger gets you?”

Sarah growled, he knew what was going to happen, her face went red as a tomato. She went to throw a punch, he dodged and her punch went right through the locker.

“I repeat; see where blind anger gets you?”  He chuckled and moved from her reach. “I hope you get the help you need, Sarah, along with not resorting to violence at every little thing.”

Sarah grew even more embarrassed after she got the worse end of that exchange, and screamed as her fist was stuck.

“Double Dee, I need to talk to you,” Kevin ordered as he caught him on the way to lunch.

“If we can skip the locker shoving, then fine. I’m guessing by your tone, this has something to do with Nazz?”

“Yeah… what’s up with that, man?”

“Nothings up, I promise,” he said and went to walk away.

“No, no, you two have been real close… too close.” He grabbed him. “Inviting you to dinner, spending all night at your place. Then I see her fighting for you, while you’re naked. Dude, just tell the truth!”

“I am. And everybody invites me to dinner”

“Nuh-uh. Are you going behind my back? Is Nazz cheating on me with you‽ She keeps ditching me for you!”

“Kevin…” Edd started, grew annoyed. “Nothing is go—”

“Kevin! What the hell are you doing,” Nazz yelled as she walked up.

“Nazz!  We’re just talking.”

“Looks like more than talking, to me.”

“I’m just trying to figure out what’s going on between you two.”

“He thinks we’re having an affair,” Edd added.

“A what‽ Kevin! Seriously‽ What is with you?”

“You’re spending all this time with him!”

“He’s my friend. He’s going through a rough time.”

“Yeah, and I’m having a rough time without my girlfriend, while she’s spending all her time with some other guy.”

“I’m not just spending all my time with him. I have other things to do!”

“Every time I turn around, if you’re not ditching me for him, you’re already with him. Come off it!”

“I don’t think it’s really like that, Kevin. Nazz—”

“Dude, shut up. She got her ass kicked for you. I’ve never seen her fight anybody, much less fight for anybody.”

“They were gonna—ya know what, I think I see why my mom doesn’t like you. Am I supposed to be glued to your hip unless I have cheerleading? I’m not fucking cheating on you! We even talked about this last night, when he pointed it out.”

“So you’re talking about our relationship with him, too? These are the signs! I see it!”

“It doesn’t matter. I was hoping we could have some us time, today. He made me realize I kept brushing you off… ya know… looking out for his friend. But no. I already know what you were about to do to him, instead of not being a meathead asshole. I’m tired of all of it.”

They watched her walk away in a huff.

“Dang. This is your fault.”

Eddward just looked at him.

“What‽”

“You know that’s not true. Sorry Kevin.” He walked away.

“It seems like you’re upsetting the order of things… trying to make chaos.”

“It was already chaos, Nat.”

“At least things got more interesting.”

“That’s because there’s more drama for your entertainment.”

“Yeah. But you snatching Nazz right from under Kevin? Man… seems to be the opposite of all that… lack of tact, you’ve ranted about.”

“Nazz really is a nice girl, but I didn’t do that, and wouldn’t do that. Kevin is a friend… or was. I’m almost ashamed to say this about Nazz…”

“D-Double Dee, I uh wouldn’t,” Nat nervously spoke.

“Oh it’s nothing bad… maybe a bit selfish. I am curious what it would be like to date her.”

“Nah, man. You don’t want that.”

“If the situation arose, kinda like this one, and there was an opportunity, probably like this one.”

“Dude!”

“I know, right! It’d probably be like our friendship now.” He grew excited. “The thing i—”

Nat grabbed him and pulled him into his embrace, as he heard a loud crash.

“I fucking knew it,” Kevin growled.

“Kevin‽”

“Yeah, Double Dickhead! So that was your plan, huh?”

“There is no plan! That was just fantasy… guy talk!”

“Not believin’ ya!”

“If you’re going to eavesdrop, at least get the whole conversation!”

“Right! He was going to say, that the thing was; he would be like that, if he didn’t think I was cute,” Nat butted in.

“No he wasn’t!”

“Th-that’s true!”

“Yeah, look!”

Nathan held Eddward’s face, and kissed him deeply. Eddward’s arms flailed, and he found himself pressed against the locker. The kiss was a few seconds, before it broke and both gasped for air, Eddward more than him.

“See? My Double Delicious can’t resist any longer, now fuck off.”

“I’m not stupid! I know he’s straight, and I know what he thinks of you!”

Nathan looked at Eddward.

“Nothing bad, I just agree with some of the grievances others have.”

“Oh that’s fine, sweetie.”

“Tongue, though, Nat?”

“Had to sell it buddy.”

“You know that impulse control problem is something Nazz has a bit of an issue with,” Edd stated.

“Keep poking the bear.”

“Mother fu—” Kevin swung again.

Nathan pulled Eddward back again. Kevin followed with another swing, He backed him up, then leaned him left.

“K-Kevin! Listen!”

“Done talking… some friend you are!”

He went for a straight jab, Nathan dipped him backwards.

“Be reasona—ah!”

Edd caught off guard, threw a leg out, and kicked Kevin square in the crotch, in such a way that his body compressed towards his head. His pupils narrowed to almost nonexistent, eye’s wide as dinner plates. He almost swallowed his own lips. He stood there a moment as if his body was registering and uploading all the pain.

“Whoa,” Nat said in awe.

“I believe when you dipped me, you increased the leverage, thus force of my kick.”

Kevin’s body vibrated right before his lungs released an alto scream that appeared to crack and shatter him like glass.

“We should go,” Nat suggested.

“We should.”

Nathan scooped Eddward in his arms, and ran.

“Thanks, Nat. You saved me from a beating worse than the Kankers.”

“Anytime, cutie.” He gave a flirty smile.

Right before last period, Eddward overheard Eddy talk to Rolf, he laughed uncontrollably.

“Are you serious‽”

“Very much so, slick, used car salesman, Ed boy.”

“He was still there‽”

Rolf nodded. “Rolf tried to ask what he was doing, but he had the voice of great Nana’s creaky rocking chair.”

Eddy laughed again. “I saw him the period before!”

“I took him to the nurses office, when I found out those…” he grimaced. “Those were not two freshly plucked chickens in his shorts.”

Eddy exploded with laughter.

“I don’t see what’s so funny, that’s the greatest pain a man can experience.”

Some other student explained that he tried to fight Eddward and Nathan, and that Eddward kicked him. Eddy’s eyes went wide, and Eddward made himself scarce, before he was seen. He heard Eddy’s laughter as he rounded a corner and bumped into Sarah.

“Excuse me… I’m terribly sorry!”

“Double Dee,” she growled, whipped around.

He took a step back.

“You’re gonna be sorry! And I heard about what you did before fourth period. You say we’re all out of control‽ Look at what you’ve been doing!”

“That was an accident, with Kevin,” he defended.

“Is stealing Nazz behind his back, an accident? Huh‽”

“That’s—”

“Or spraying my brothers rancid sock juice on the Kankers? What about the hidden cameras in my house? Having Nazz fight your battles?” She poked him in the chest.

Eddward tried to keep his temper in check, being so close to her, he already escaped two beatings, one being from her.

“Now you listen here! I have never lied to you, or anybody… I have always been earnest and respectful. To a damned fault. So when I say Nazz and I ain’t having secret relations—we are not. The way you treat Ed is unacceptable! His mental deficits are no excuse. As I said; I do my best to be respectful, yet the Kankers are cruel, and unreasonable, not too mention abusive.” He was mow leering over her as she shrunk down below him. “Me being pleasant doesn’t work with them, or you, who I and many others must walk on eggshells around. Matter of fact; I never asked Nazz to fight my battles… she simply has the compassion and fucking humanity, you hardly pretend to have, no matter how situational it seems. If you hadn’t helped them—baffles me, because they don’t like you either—she wouldn’t have opposed you… idiot. I have a right to defend myself! If you won’t just stand there and get pummeled, why should I or anybody else?”

“You’re still turning into what you hate. Hypocrite.” Sarah stood straight.

“It’s called standing up for myself, and not being a doormat. I don’t know what mental problems you have, but I hope you find the help you need. I’m not sorry for what I did, as it pertains to your part. I really wish this would all get in your thick skull and stick. Even Ed can learn and grow, be better. The fuck is your excuse?”

Sarah started to lose her temper.

“See‽ You’re just proving me right.”

Sarah went to grab him, but she was grabbed from behind.

“Let me go!”

“No. You’re out of control,” Nazz said with both Sarah’s arms twisted behind her back.

“Bodyguard girlfriend strikes again!”

“We’re not dating.”

“Could’ve fooled me.” Sarah slammed her backwards hard into the locker.

Nazz winced and kicked her away. “I’m done. You’re suspended off the team,” she said coldly.

Sarah’s anger was gone with a gasp. “Why‽”

“Why‽ Dude! Why would I wanna be on a team with you‽ Look how you treat me, do you think it’s okay to treat your captain, your friend, like shit?”

“Wha—I’m not trying to!”

“Really,” Nazz and Edd asked.

“Jen’s doing pretty good. You’re suspended until you get that fucking attitude in check! You’re lucky I’m not straight up kicking you off, and your ass. If you think you can go after Jen over this; I will do both. It’s not her fault she has your spot… it’s your fault.”

“That’s not fair!”

“You’re not fucking fair!”

Sarah started to cry and run off.

“Look… I can explain everything, just allow—”

“What? Our secret affair and you place kicking Kevin in the nuts?”

Eddward nodded nervously.

“Dude… I know you like me. Most guys do. I know it’s not just your awkwardness that stopped you from asking me out, even before Kevin.”

“I appreciate your friendship, and I knew I had no chance.”

“I almost said you should have… but yeah, I like my bad boys—liked.” Nazz smiled. “I love that we’re friends, and I like you too. I think my mom was right. That doesn’t mean I’m going to hang you by my finger, or whatever the expression is. We just shouldn’t, right now.”

“I suppose it would be wise to refrain, for many reasons. I’ve controlled myself so far.”

“And I don’t give a shit what happened between you and Kevin. I’m on your side, dude.” She grabbed his hand. “You should get to class.”

“Right. See you later?”

“Yep.” She slowly let her hand drop.

Jimmy walked up as Eddward walked away.

“You’re making those rumors real convincing.”

Nazz sighed. “I’d care less, if it weren’t for Kevin’s vindictive nature, an jealousy.”

“Oh? You actually like him?”

“Him saying yes, is all the grieving I’d need to forget Kev. I’m over him… I’d forget he existed. Sucks I’m not good enough for him.”

Eddward waited until he knew both Sarah and Kevin was gone, before he left school. It left him by himself. Once he got to the court, he saw Jonny.

“You had a hard day today,” Jonny spoke.

“Hmm? Yes… not one of my favorites at all.”

“I found out about Kevin, and I gotta admit, buddy, it was pretty funny—wouldn’t want that happening to me or Plank!”

“It was seriously an accident. Kevin overheard Nat and I talking about Nazz. Nat  tried to help by convincing Kevin we were dating. When that obviously failed, and Kevin attacked… I gotta admit… Nat has good reflexes. He kept himself and me from getting hit. He caught me off guard with a dip, and I panicked and kicked Kevin in the—jawbreakers, as it were.”

“Yeah, that is crazy, Plank… uh-huh, you think so?”

“What does Plank think, if I may ask?”

“He doesn’t think you and Nat would ship.”

“Ship? You mean…? Plank… you do know I’m not—”

“He knows. But if like… one of your experiments turned you, or something; not Nat. Now Jimmy, I could see working out.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

“So you’re not trying to get with Nazz?”

Eddward looked around. “No I’m not. Nazz is really nice, and granted—I’d better stop talking, lest Kevin gets summoned again.”

Suddenly they heard Rolfs voice, and spotted him with Kevin on his back.

“Hey Kevin,” Jonny called out.

“Jonny, no,” Edd whispered.

“You,” Kevin growled. “You’re gonna pay for this! I’m out of the game on Friday, because of you!”

“Seems like we both learned that violence solves nothing.”

“Yeah? Here, lemme teach you something else about violence!”

“Now, now, Kevin. Wait until we see if Nana has remedy for the butt kicking smarter than average Ed boy gave you,” Rolf interjected.

“What, like pecking out the blood with a Blue jay,” he asked sarcastically.

“No time for such foolery, Kevin.”

“At least his voice doesn’t make dogs bark, anymore,”  Jonny said. “Where is Nazz?”

“I believe cheerleading practice. I forgot about the football game, and pep rally. I was supposed to be on the committee.”

“Life has a way of snatching the wheel, and veering off somewhere else.”

Eddward looked at Jonny with a bit of surprise and the realization he was right. Much like Ed, sometimes Jonny speaks wisdom, and not through Plank, which still catches him off guard here and there.

“You’re right, Jonny, it does do that.”

“Yep.”

“It’s always nice to talk to you, these days. And I would like to thank you again for helping Ed in class.”

“Ed’s a great guy.”

Edd nodded. “True. I should be getting going. I have homework, dinner to prep, pain to dull. I’ll talk to you later.”

“See ya, pal.”

Eddward stepped in his house, the house that for once without strict regiment, actually looked lived in for once, and he couldn’t bring himself to care. He was sore, stressed, curious to who he was going to tick off next, or who was going to come at him with vindication fueled revenge, next. There weren’t any new sticky notes, but there was a letter. A letter from his parents could go either way. The last time he got a letter, he, Ed and Eddy had caused collateral damage to somebody’s house.  There wasn’t much to do, but read it.

Dear Eddward, we have thought things over, after the incident at your school. It seems that despite our teachings, you have been causing trouble, and getting in fights, with female students at that. Along with that, you used your knowledge to create a chemical weapon. We noticed you haven’t been upholding our household standards, either. We are disappointed in you, therefore you are grounded until further notice. In the mean time, you can take this grounding to get the house in order, and reread our books on conflict resolution and anger management. We understand that you’ve entered puberty, and your hormones are out of flux, but please do your best to maintain self-control, these factors are no excuse to act in the way you have been. It’s time to reevaluate yourself so that you cease straying from the right path. Signed Father and Mother.

Chapter Text

Eddward stared at the letter, lost for words, reason, belief. He read it again and again, cross referenced other items they’ve written on, just to make sure his parents left that letter. He stood in the kitchen and pondered how could they assume he was a delinquent. He was present when the nurse contacted them, and explained it all, yet they think he’s the aggressor, these two highly intelligent beings. His eye started to twitch, there was suddenly no pain within his body. Eddward gently placed the letter on the table and he went to his room. He sat and looked at his homework, yet the sudden quandary brought to him, stilted and stalled his mental faculties.

Somehow he lost track of time, certain he didn’t fall asleep at his desk—he didn’t. Eddward realized other than the twitch, he hadn’t blinked, body stiff and in mild pain. Reality rushed back, and dragged a headache with it, he held the side of his head and stood, swiped his schoolwork from his desk, grabbed his ant farm, and flung it at the window. The container shattered it, it boomeranged around and soared towards Eddy’s backyard, where it crashed upon and covered him in ants, as he tanned on the patio. Eddward stumbled to the shelf where Jim sat—out the window, where it hit a tree branch that flung it to a power line, then a second ear shattering scream was heard. Eddward knocked the shelf over. There was a ruckus outside that he was bereft to, with the more pressing matter of a mental breakdown.

“I try to be a good person… adhere to my parents rules and wishes,” he stammered.

Eddward went downstairs, he picked up the letter and read it again.

“Why am I… why must I get punished for that? All I want to do is please and have no drama, no altercations. I don’t understand. I… I do everything right, yet… I—me, of all people… suffer. I’m not Eddy or Sarah… I don’t deserve this.”

He looked at the letter and spat on it, his breath heavy, there was a rage he never felt before. With all the air his lungs could hold, he screamed as loud as he could, grabbed a kitchen chair, and tossed it through one of the living room windows.

“Fuck it all!”

Eddy screamed through the cul-de-sac, Sarah was getting in the car with her mom and absolutely enjoyed the scene of him covered in ants with a cactus on his face. Kevin laughed while he and Rolf watched.

“Help me,” Eddy cried.

Nazz and Jimmy had just got back from cheerleading practice.

“What’s happening,” Jimmy exclaimed.

“Whatever you did, you deserve it,” Sarah yelled.

“See, that attitude of yours is why we’re taking you to a shrink,” her mom scolded.

Suddenly they heard a loud scream, and a chair went crashing through a window, the curtain pulled and lay across the shattered window. Even Eddy calmed down for a moment. Sarah’s mom quickly forced her in the car.

“Jimmy, help Eddy, and I’ll go—,” her words cut short when she saw Kevin’s face. “We’ll help Eddy, right now.”

“I’ve got all we need at my place,” Jimmy replied.

“I’m sick of all of this incessant bullshit! These damned cursed, strict house rules! You’re barely here, why does it matter‽ Fucking  violent, hard-headed, psychopathic, irrational peers of mine! Why am I suffering‽ Where’s the respect and decency‽”

They all stared at the broken window.

“I’ve had it up to here,” he screamed as something crashed. “I’ll be the change I wanna see in the world… that’s the old adage! They all want to attain to be degenerate imbecils; they can do it too each other—won’t be me, anymore!”

“What’s that dork gonna do,” Kevin asked.

“Kevin… he is the smartest kid in school,” Rolf stated. “Certainly sharpest-tool-in-shed Ed-boy could come up with what’s unthinkable to our meager brains.”

Kevin just glared at him.

“Even I know brawn isn’t everything.” Rolf shrugged.

“I’m surprised Nazz isn’t running to see what he’s spazzing about.” Kevin huffed.

“Because Eddy is hurt… dumbass,” Nazz said as they rushed by.

Jimmy led them to the kitchen where his mom kept one of the large first aid kits.

“What happened, Eddy‽”

“How the hell should I know‽”

Nazz grabbed some bug spray. “I’ll take care of the ants!”

“Nazz wait,” they both cried out.

Too late, she sprayed Eddy down with Raid as he flailed, even pulled the waistband to his shorts, and didn’t stop until ants started to fall.

“There,” she said proudly, as the two boys hacked and coughed.

“You ditz,” Eddy yelled.

“You’re welcome, Eddy.”

Jimmy shook his head. “Might as well get this cactus off. Why’s it labeled Jim?”

He pulled it and Eddy screamed.

“It’s okay, Eddy,” Jimmy consoled him and rubbed his thigh.

“Jim,” he repeated as he calmed down. “Th-that’s Double Dees cactus.”

“He’s really losing it, right now,” Jimmy stated.

“What’s he got to be losing it for? He’s got one of the hottest girls in school as a girlfriend.”

“I’m not dating him.”

“That’s what everybody else is saying.”

“Well I’m not.” She leered with a flat tone.

“Let’s cut the drama, and stop spreading rumors,” Jimmy said as he grabbed tweezers. “They aren’t dating.”

“You’d—ow! Be better than Marie. Ouch!”

“Yeah… well…” She turned away.

Jimmy removed all the thorns, they both tended to his wounds.

“Whatever he’s going through… somebody needs to talk to him.”

“His problem is you, and every other asshole around here,” Nazz snapped. “I don’t blame him, either. There’s only so much a person can take. Between his home life—if you can call it that, and your stupid schemes, the Kankers weird obsession with you three, now Kevin taking out his stupidity on him, because I dumped him. The guy needs some damn peace! I try to help him… but… I know it’s not much.”

“What he needs is real friends, like Ed,” Jimmy stated.

“Ed’s brains too smooth to understand.”

Nazz slapped Eddy up side the head.

“Hey, that hurts!”

“Good! That’s the problem, Eddy; that mindset. You’re no different than Sarah! Here I am helping you, and you can’t even be decent about it.”

Eddy thought for a moment. “I guess you’re right. I’m still mad how he told me off! Otherwise I’d help, too—if he wanted it.”

“I don’t think you have the compassion, like we do. We all know how you are—only care about yourself, will sacrifice anybody to save your own ass. I don’t see how you can honestly call anybody a friend,” Jimmy said.

“You two are really making a breakthrough with him, huh? I got hit with ants and a cactus, because he’s so happy!”

“I’m trying,” Nazz shouted. “I want him to be happy, I want him to be himself, not who his parents want him to be, or who everybody else forces him to be.” Her voice wavered; “I want the best for him… I’m not… I don’t…”

“Nazz, it’s okay,” Jimmy said.

“No it’s not. I try so hard, and everybody else fucks it up. Why does he deserve such?”

“You actually have a crush on him, don’cha? He’s had a crush on you, just like the rest of us. Ask him out.”

“That’s not gonna happen.”

“You taking Kevin back, after all that, today?”

“No! I’m finally done with him.”

“Then date Double Dee.”

“I can’t.”

“Sure ya can! Walk up to him and say; will you go out with me? He’s gonna swallow his tongue, and that brains gonna short-circuit, which means yes.”

“That just can’t work.”

“What? Because of Kevin’s jealous bullshit? Th—”

“I don’t care about Kevin and his bullshit!”

“I know it’s not because of Marie.”

Nazz growled in frustration. “Because I’m not good enough! I’m not smart, I’m not as organized, I’m not… a lot of things.”

As the two boys looked at her, she realized what she just did, what she just said.

Eddy stood up. “Nobody’s perfect… not even him. He’s just smart, kind, and… tall. Thanks for the help.”

She watched Eddy leave.

He turned as he opened the door. “And go talk to him. He probably really needs you, before he does something stupid.”

“Didn’t expect that from him, from all people,” Jimmy said.

“Right,” she said with a nervous chuckle.

“You gonna go? You’re really the only thing in your own way.”

“I… I don’t know.” She held her arm and her shoulders up.

“I don’t think you’re gonna be happy, the more you… don’t do it. Maybe just not try and fix his problems, just be there and like… see it through. You said he needs peace—keep being that.”

She didn’t say anything, she only quickly strutted out of his house, and walked over to Eddward’s. It was quiet, the door wasn’t closed completely.

She pushed it open. “Double Dee? Hey dude, ya in here‽”

There was no sound, she went inside and looked around.

“Where is he?”

Eddward firmly knocked on the door to the Kankers trailer. It wasn’t long before he heard somebody move towards the door and opened it. He was ready, incase it was one of the sisters.

“Which one are ya after,” a dirty blonde woman asked.

She stood there in a sports bra and shorts, a look on her face that wasn’t as curious as her question.

“You… actually, miss Kanker.”

She looked him over closer.

“To discuss the actions of your daughters.”

“My sweet, lovely kids?”

He simply rose an eyebrow at her.

“Yeah, that’s a bit of a stretch.”

“Your daughters have been tormenting my friends, and I, since we first met. Often the other kids of the cul-de-sac may be victims of their menacing, and wanton destruction, but mostly us. They claim to be in love with us, and to be curt; have a sick and twisted way of showing it.”

“Guess you all aren’t man enough to handle it, huh?”

“Our masculine capabilities aren’t in question here. My friend would have no trouble juggling three of these trailers. The point is their antics are criminal and unacceptable. There’s no excuse for their cruel ways and abuse. We are not interested in girls who act in such a way, that lack compassion, prefer violence, and refuse to have any decorum, or take a no.”

“Is that so?”

“Surely you’ve some tact, and did not raise them this way.”

“Ehh… they’re a lil… rough around the edges…”

“Roughs putting it lightly.  Abusive ideologies and sexual assault, are not kids just being kids.”

“What’s your name?” She narrowed her eyes.

“Eddward.”

“Eddward? I do recall… May? She’s talked about an Ed, but I don’t think you’re him, he’s supposed to be… an idiot, I think Marie calls him. From how they talk, I assumed there may be more than one guy, but they sound like they’re talking about the same guy, or—I’m often in and out of listenin’ to’em. “

“Ed is another person, yes.”

“So you’re the other Ed; Eddy? I thought you were short and loud?”

“I’m not Eddy. I am the other Ed, they call me Double Dee. I’m the smart one.”

“The three of you sound like characters on a weird TV show.” She put a hand on her hip, and relit the cigarette that hung from her mouth. “You! Oh I remember; you’re the one that sprayed chemicals on my girls!”

“I promise you, despite the ingredients, there was no real dangers—surprisingly.”

“No dang—boy, we thought they were permanently blind, and the smell! What the hell were you thinking‽”

“Thinking?”

She was mad, and his ire started to rise as well.

“I was thinking that I didn’t want to be beaten halfway to death, like they did Ed and Eddy, because they couldn’t find me fast enough to get me first! That I’m oh so very tired of their abuse, stalking, and any other misdemeanors they’ve done.”

She glared at him.

“Despite the fact that the mace I made caused some well deserved pain, they tried to jump me again. Pulled me out of my house, and stripped me naked  in front of everybody. I don’t know what problems they have, but it’s your job to fix them.”

“Just like a man… trying to tell women how to act.” She rolled her eyes and scowled.

“Excuse me? You approve of their actions? I don’t care that you’re a woman, you’re the parent. If one of their fathers answered the door, we would still be having this same discussion.”

“You men.” She scoffed. “You just can’t take what you dish out.”

Edd looked incredulous. “Really? First of all; not all men are like that. I am not whomever your bad attitude and bad choices brought on to you. Look at me… do you think I’m a brute of any kind?”

She looked at him. “You? Yeah, no, I can see why they’d easily beat ya up. My girls ain’t gonna be pushovers. They did come home pretty messed up, and it surely couldn’t have been you.”

“You’re right. Nazz came to my rescue and made near short work of them. By the way; Nazz isn’t a boy.”

“So you’re so weak, a girl had to fight your battles,” she asked with a haughty guffaw.

Eddward just blinked and looked around.

“What a pansy!”

“E-excuse me? You don’t like unsavory men who abuse women, that I can understand, but somehow you don’t like men who also aren’t a physical threat, either?”

“At least one them can be useful. I don’t know what Marie sees in you… if you two were together, she’d be the man of the house.”

“And going by my experience with Marie; she would be the kind of man you hate the most. It’s all making sense now. I’m giving you an ultimative; your daughters are no better than these men you despise… either you fix it, or I will. I am done with being tortured and assaulted, by them and everybody else. I really hate violence, but it seems to be the only way to get my point across.”

She laughed. “What could you possibly do‽”

“I’m the smartest kid in school, and I’m friends with Eddy. I’ll figure something out. Final warning to either straighten them up, or get them to pretend my friends and I don’t exist. Good day to you, ma’am,” he explained before he took his leave.

“Are you threatening my family‽”

Edd briefly looked back. “Oh no… I assure you it’s certainly a premeditated promise!”

Eddward cut back through the junkyard where he heard the sisters doing whatever they were doing. He slipped around them easily through the junk piled and scattered.

“We need to make a plan to get back at that blonde bimbo,” Lee announced.

“Who knew she knew kung fu,” May asked.

“It’s still pissing me off! And she fought dirty with that hockey stick!”

“That’s rich, coming from the group who jumps people,” Edd muttered as he left.

When he arrived in the cul-de-sac and saw the rest out and about.

“Hey Ed-boy, it seems as though you’re having a hard time.”

“I  am, Rolf. I apologize if you witnessed my earlier outburst. I received a letter from my parents.”

“Bad news?”

“They blamed me for everything. It… it doesn’t make sense! They believe I’m out here starting fights and not keeping my chores, because of puberty, and said I was grounded.”

Rolf scratched his chin in thought. “That doesn’t sound right.”

“Exactly! I’m in the wrong? No! And grounded… pffft… the very idea.”

“You reject parental orders?”

“They’re never here, how are they going to know if I adhere to being grounded or not?”

“Good point.” He nodded.

“I’m not going to be falsely accused and imprisoned.”

“Yo Rolf, ya—Double Dickhead.” Kevin walked up.

Eddward narrowed his eyes.

“Ain’t ya satisfied enough that you got my girl, now you want my friend, too?”

“We’re already friends, Kevin,” Rolf said.

“I still need to kick your ass for that.”

“Fine. But know if you do; much like your failed relationship, what happens afterward will be the result of your actions. You know I was behind designing and building most of the things for Eddy’s scams, the mace idea came from making Eddy’s stink bomb. You know what my parents do, and probably have an idea of what we have access to. So go on… beat my ass, and I’ll remind you how scary science can be.”

“Kevin… we’re all supposed to be friends, this is probably all a misunderstanding, no?”

“His jerk ways aside, I consider Kevin a friend. You know I don’t lie, all you had to do was talk to me. I mean honestly, Kevin, who didn’t have a crush on Nazz, but Sarah and Jimmy‽ Yes I still harbor a crush on her.”

“She is a vision of beauty, Kevin. But the kind you don’t take home to Ma-Ma,” Rolf added.

“The truth is; she may like me a bit more than just a friend, yet she was willing to see how far you two would go in your relationship. I told her myself that she shouldn’t put me before you. You fucked it up, not me. You’re your own worst enemy. I don’t know what Nazz is going to do, but there’s no going back to the way things were, that savage, moronic outburst of yours, was her last straw.”

“If she asked you out,” Kevin asked.

“I’ll strongly consider a yes, because she’s really sweet. Even if she wanted to pursue a relationship, she’s probably too afraid of what you’ll do. Honestly Kevin… you and Marie would be better suited for each other. I can’t stand the girl, but even I can’t deny that Marie is just as cute as Nazz.”

“Marie,” Kevin and Rolf exclaimed.

“Dude, really‽”

“One of the witches of the sardine can suburb,” Rolf asked.

Edd shrugged. “If you took the time to know each other, she might grow on you. If you’ll excuse me; I have a house to clean.”

Kevin was speechless, he wanted to pound Eddward. “Hey wait! You can’t just smooth talk your way outta this beating!”

Edd turned around and pulled the small canister of mace from his pocket. “Okay… bring it, tough guy.”

Kevin bit his lower lip and clenched his fist. “Whatever.”

Eddward stood a moment, then turned back towards his house. When he reached the door, he heard noises unfamiliar to him, not only that, but noises that shouldn’t be happening. With his mace ready, he opened the door and stepped in. Rap music played, and two people were talking, there was a familiar smell if cleaning supplies. A look around the living room yielded that his ransacking had been reversed.

“Work it, girlfriend!”

Nazz danced into view, when her and Edds eyes met, she dropped the mop.

“Double Dee!”

Chapter Text

Nazz ran and hugged him. “Sorry I couldn’t be there for you!”

Edd was a bit surprised. “It’s… It’s quite alright, Nazz.”

“No… you were upset. I heard you were freaking out and I wasn’t there, dude.”

“We heard about it when we came back from cheerleading practice. Nazz thought it would be a good idea to help clean up the place, with how your parents get,” Jimmy explained.

“I came over after helping Eddy, and you weren’t here.” Nazz let go.

“I went to talk to miss Kanker about her daughters.”

Nazz gasped.

“Ya know… for somebody who can’t fight, you really are brave,” Jimmy stated.

“Do you know what kinda danger you could’ve put yourself in‽”

“Well I—”

“I don’t wanna see you get hurt again, Eddward,” she said firmly.

Eddward was taken aback.

“You stay away from them, okay?”

“Nazz…”

“Promise me, Eddward. Please.” Tears formed in her eyes.

Eddward looked quizzically at her, at a loss for words.

“She’s been worried about you,” Jimmy said as he paused the music.

“I don’t know what I’d do if they… got to you again.”

“Oh… Nazz. I intend to make sure they don’t mess with me ever again.”

“So will she. They say you’ll do anything to fight for the one you love.” Jimmy quickly covered his mouth.

Eddward looked back at Nazz, who’s face grew bright red. She knew not much gets passed him.

“Like a friend,” Jimmy tried to correct. “She… umm… sorry Nazz.”

“I understand, Jimmy. Thank both of you for helping. I appreciate it.”

“I don’t know if we did a good job, or not. I… I saw the letter… sorry I don’t clean good enough,” she said quietly.

“I’m sure what you’ve done is fine. I don’t care. I mean really… things can only get so clean. When my parents are hardly here, what room do they have to complain? Clearly their judgement is questionable—you read the letter. Let’s have a look.”

Eddward didn’t wait and just casually walked to the kitchen and started inspecting it. Jimmy grabbed the frozen Nazz and led her that way.

“It’s good enough.” He turned to them. “It’s actually a bit less stressful not keeping the place clean, to my parents extreme expectations. Oh and I almost forgot; I came across the Kankers on my way back, I’m afraid they’re going to plan revenge against you, Nazz.”

"Nazz, what are you gonna do? Did you hear him? Nazz.”

“Nazz, are you okay,” Edd asked as he reached out.

She shook her head. ”Not good enough.”

“Pardon?”

“C’mon Nazz… it’s your chance.”

“I can’t.”

“Even Eddy said do it.”

“Do what? Eddy giving sound advice? What did I miss?”

Nazz looked at him. “It doesn’t matter.”

“I’m sure it does, if it bothers you this much.”

“Just come clean, sister!”

“Nazz… you can talk to me about anything, that goes both ways.”

She scrunched her face up and fought back tears. “I like you so much, dude, but I’m not good enough for you.”

“Not good—Nazz, what makes you think that?”

“You’re smarter than me, cleaner than me, you—”

Edd chuckled. “I’m far from perfect, I’m neurotic, weak, athletically stunted. Why would you think that?”

“I’m kinda dumb, a bit messy… I mean… your parents would hate me.”

“I don’t care what they would think. You’re a sweet, kind girl, beautiful, understanding. I-I-I can’t see why somebody wouldn’t like you.”

Nazz looked up at him.

“You and your mother have been so good to me. I think it’d be an honor to have you as my girlfriend.”

“I don’t know why you thought he’d turn you down. Plus he’s kinda cute, right,” Jimmy said.

“Maybe not with all these bruises, I’m not.” He chuckled.

“You are,” Nazz and Jimmy said.

“You’re starting to fill out pretty good,” Nazz said, and blushed again.

“So Double Dee… time for me to play cupid; would you be this hotties boyfriend?”

“Boy—well… you see… I umm… the very idea.” Edd cleared his throat. “When she feels up to asking, the answer is… yes.”

Nazz shrieked out of joy.

“You’ve been a constant rock in my life, and I don’t care who doesn’t like it.”

“What about Kevin,” she asked.

“Hmmm… given the situation, I see how things would turn out, but… hey, it’s me! I will make unspeakable machines of terror for anybody that opposes our coupling,” Edd said with a brave voice, and triumphant pose.

Jimmy and Nazz giggled.

“I never figured that anybody would generally be romantically interested in me.”

“Well I am.” Nazz smiled.

“I would be,” Jimmy said.

“I’m honored, Jimmy.”

“See, Nazz… you were worried for nothing.” Jimmy nudged her.

“Nazz, I’ve long discovered you were more than just a pretty face… the metaphorical girl next door.”

“Awww,” she cooed.

It was Friday, the pep rally before the game, Nazz stood on the field proud, bruises and all. Kevin sat with the team, in his jersey, still recovering from Edds kick. Sarah sat in the stands and scowled at Jennifer in her place, now started her medication. Eddward sat with Ed, and Jonny.

“What are they doing here,” Jonny wondered.

“Who,” Edd asked.

“Kankers,” Ed yelled.

“Is anyone surprised they would sneak in? I’m more surprises they have an ounce of school spirit,” Edd spoke.

“Maybe they’re up to no good,” Jonny suggested.

“Surprising nobody.”

They watched Nazz take off in a run and go into several cartwheels and summersaults, when she stopped, she posed and smiled at Edd, with her arms up, and her breast pushed out, legs together. Kevin thought she looked at him, but the angle of her face made him turn back and see Eddward with a big goofy smile on his face.

“He’s so dead!”

She blew a kiss just before Jimmy did the same thing, grab her and toss her in the air as the rest of the team ran up, tossed their pom-poms and caught her as she fell, tossed her again and she did a full body spin. Once on the ground, they all picked up their pom-poms and went into a cheer number, backed up as Jimmy started the dance number the dance team came up and begun as the band played. The cheerleading squad took their seats and gave the dance team their time.

“You seem to be in a real good mood. Lemme guess; Double Dee been rocking that world,” Jennifer asked Nazz.

“What‽” Nazz guffawed. “No, not yet, and we’re not dating—yet!”

“Hard to tell with how you’ve been flirting with him. And you tried to say the rumors aren’t true.”

“They aren’t true. Well… I guess as Double Dee would say; it would be retroactively true. I did not dump Kevin for him, I didn’t. He is going to be mine, though.”

“He’s a weird one, but at least he’s not an asshole.”

Nazz nodded and tried to look at where he sat.

“But he has been kinda off his rocker, lately.”

“It’s valid, though. He’s fed up with how things are, especially with the Kankers.”

“He’s not gonna… ya know… shoot up the school, or nothin’, right?”

Nazz looked incredulous. “No! I wouldn’t be his eventual girlfriend, if he was one of those incel creeps. I mean… heads up because there’s gonna be turnabout. Honestly I think he has the right to, because he’s nothing but kind and respectful to everybody.”

“And a rules lawyer, and a stickler for just about everything.” Jennifer rolled her eyes.

“He’s lighting up. It’s all his parents fault.”

“How’s Sarah?”

“I haven’t really talked to her,” she said with a shrug.

Eddward had went to the bathroom and on his way out, ran into May on her way to the bathroom.

“You! My mom said you talked to her,” May said in his face.

“I did, because you’re actions are unacceptable, and I wish you would understand that being bullies is not okay. Out of the three of you, I figured you’d be more receptive. I’ve seen you in distress, I’ve seen you look genuinely happy.  Deep down, I know you can be better than your sisters, and you’re not as stupid as they think you are. But damn it, May, if you keep going down this same path; you’ll never truly be happy, or successful.”

“Fancy talk for somebody who threatened my family!”

“If you leave us alone, then you have nothing to worry about. Don’t you think people are tired of your antics? At some point the three of you need to realize that your worst enemies are yourselves, and society doesn’t accept people who act as horrible as you three do… it’s anti-social.”

She just looked at him.

“Think about it. I’m not putting up with it anymore, I shouldn’t have to live my life in this neighborhood in fear of you girls—nobody should. One day you’re gonna want friends outside of your sisters… and there won’t be anybody, due to your reputation. Now excuse me, I need to get back to my seat.”

May continued to look at him. “What could you possibly do‽”

“Oh… May, sweet, sweet May. That mace is only the tip of the ice berg, if you ladies don’t shape up!” He walked back to his seat. L

He couldn’t help but smirk. His brain ran many ideas in his head, as he went back to his seat. If they wanted a war, he would give it to them. He overheard Eddy hitting on some girl, who wasn’t amused with his alleged charm.

The cheerleaders were talking as they were ready to do another cheer, Nazz locked eyes with Eddward, and blushed and giggled when he smiled at her. Jennifer and Jimmy looked up at him.

“Double Dee, I think somebody has an eye for ya,” Jonny exclaimed.

“Oh… maybe. Who knows?”

“It’s Nazz, huh,” Ed asked.

Kevin fumed as she flirted with Eddward

After the pep rally, Nazz Chased Eddward down as everybody went back in, when school let out. Kevin saw her run to him.

“I can’t believe you got your girl stolen by a nerd,” a teammate of his stated.

“The biggest nerd in the school,” another added.

“Yeah, and they said nothing wuz goin’ on. Bullshit! I need answers.”

“You need to put him in his place!”

“Exactly,” Kevin snapped.

“Double Dee! Double Dee!”

“Hmm? Oh, Nazz,” he exclaimed as he turned around and saw Nazz run up in her uniform.

“I know you’re not going to the football game later, but some of us are going to hang out after, and I wanted you to come with me. Please?”

“I suppose I could.”

“You don’t… if you don’t want to. I just want you there.”

“If it’ll make you happy, I’ll gladly accompany you to whatever shindig.”

“Sweet, dude! I can’t wait!” She hugged him.

“I thought you two weren’t dating‽”

“We’re not, Kevin, not that it’s any of your business,” Nazz snapped.

“It doesn’t look like it, with how you were flirting with him.”

“Seriously, Kevin,” Edd said exasperated. “Even if we were—which we are not, it doesn’t matter. You have no authority over her life, nothing she does, or will do, is nothing to concern yourself with.”

“Yeah, dude, this shit is why we aren’t together.”

“I hope you know your not-boyfriend was kissing Nat, the other day!”

“I bet it was hot, too. Bi guys are sexy.”

Kevin looked dumbfounded as Nazz cackled loudly.

“I’d probably pay money to see them kiss again. I’d better go before I need to wash this skirt again. Fuck off somewhere, Kev!”

Nazz grabbed Eddward’s hand and tugged him away.

“He must not know about your yaoi affliction,” Edd said with a chuckle.

“He put barely any interest in what I liked. So I’ll meet you tonight, and we can go together, okay?”

“Sure.”

“Great, and please… no offense, but don’t dress dorky, it’s nothing fancy.”

“Noted. No dorkiness.”

Kevin just watched them both walk away from him.

“So,” one of his teammates walked up and asked.

“They said they weren’t dating.”

“Yeah okay. Even if they aren’t… they will be soon. That’s how this stuff goes. Trust me. We need to make an example out of him.”

“Yeah… we will.”

“Everything I told you is going down.”

“Yeah… you’re right.”

Eddward of course, didn’t go to the football game, but he kept tabs on it, while he sketched out plans to retaliate upon anybody who wanted to start something. He made notes of countermeasures, given what he knew about several people. After a while, he made himself a small meal and took a shower, picked out a decent outfit so he was ready whenever Nazz arrived. He picked baggy jeans, a graphic tee with a button down, and canvas shoes.

Eddward stepped outside when he heard people and cars. Normally he would’ve congratulated Kevin on the win, but not this time. Kevin didn’t even look his way, he seemed tired from the walk, still not able to ride his bike. Nazz’s mom pulled into the cul-de-sac, Nazz and Jimmy loudly got out.

“That was so great,” Jimmy exclaimed.

“We really let’em have it,” Nazz said.

“You two were great, too—the whole team.” Her mom looked towards Eddward. “Oh Nazz, there’s your boyfriend.”

“Ma-om! He’s not!”

“Not yet,” she teased.

“Stop it.” She started to walk over.

“Nazz and Double Dee, sittin’ in a tree,” Jimmy sung as he went home.

“Jimmy!”

He laughed.

“Hey… Double Dee.”

“Hello Nazz.”

“You look good.”

“Why thank you, I was hoping you’d notice the lack of dorkiness, and more C average student.”

Nazz chortled. “I noticed. So… I need to get ready myself. I’ll try not to take long, okay?”

“I’ll… umm… be here.”

She placed a hand on his chest. “I hope you like what I pick out.”

“I’m sure I will.”

“Get a room,” Eddy yelled.

Nazz held up a middle finger without her eyes from Eddward.

“Have you fixed that air leak on your girlfriend, yet,” Edd asked.

“What‽” Eddy chuckled nervously. “What are you talking about?”

“Oh, you know, Eddy; that cheap pleasure device…”

Nazz exploded with laughter, while Eddy looked around.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about! Been hangin’ around Ed for too long!”

They watched him rush to his house.

“Does he really?”

Edd nodded. “Yep. Ed found it one day, and, well… you know how his imagination is.”

Nazz guffawed. “That’s gross.”

“I agree. I can’t imagine being that desperate.”

“I’d better go get ready… hopefully I can shampoo the thought of Eddy and… that from my head, too.”

“If it works, I may need to borrow it. The shampoo, that is.”

She was ready quicker than he thought she would be. Eddward watched some documentary when she knocked on the door. He quickly jumped up, nearly tripped over the coffee table to answer the door. There she was; She was in form fitting khaki flared pants, a baby tee that showed off her stomach, push-up bra, and a pair of tennis shoes. Eddward looked her up and down.

“So… you like?”

Eddward stammered as his face grew red, he pulled at his collar and started to sweat.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” she said with a giggle. “Hey, I’m not that good looking. Are you ready?”

She stepped closer to grab his hand, and the moment her breast pushed against him, he gasped and melted into a puddle on the floor.

“Sssorry Double Dee. Wow… Kevin didn’t even get this excited.”

“So where exactly is this party,” he asked.

“One of the football players houses. It’s kinda like an after party thing for the team, cheerleaders, dance team, band.”

“Is it okay for me to even be there?”

“Yeah, silly! You’re my date.”

“Oh… of course.” He chuckled nervously. “That makes sense.”

“Did I really just call him my date? I mean, yeah, he is my… date. Oh my god, it’s our first date,” she thought.

Her face was bright red at the thought. They walked up on the house; a rather large mcmansion with various bicycles, and other unlicensed transportation in the yard.

“We’re here.”

“Such a large, garish house,” Edd looked on.

“Yeah… it is. It’s gonna be fun, though.”

She led him to the front door and opened it to loud music and people generally enjoying themselves.

“You made it,” Jennifer greeted.

“Took forever to get ready, huh,” Abby asked.

“I didn’t. We had to walk here.”

“So here’s the new boyfriend. Double Dee?”

“Abby,” Nazz yelled and blushed.

“Right‽ The complete opposite of the boys she usually likes,” Jennifer stated.

“Not that I wouldn’t be opposed to the idea; we’re not dating,” Edd corrected.

“Not yet, you’re not,” Jennifer teased.

“I guess we’ll see,” he said with a chuckle.

Chapter Text

Eddward was enjoying himself, he relaxed the best he could. He watched as Nazz slowly drifted away, as she talked to people, he went to find himself something to drink, many people he recognized, but not many he actually interacted with. There were a few football players spotted, some gave him nasty looks, and he hoped that nothing would come from it, and that Kevin wasn’t there. A few people were nice to him, so he had a few decent conversations, and some were interested in what was going on with him and Nazz. He wasn’t really sure of an answer, and was certain they were just good friends. He saw glimpses of her, and after a while, decided to look for her. Eddward crossed through the large den, where she came up behind him and grabbed his hand.

“Heavens!”

“Enjoying yourself?”

“I’m having a pretty decent time.”

She noticed his grip tighten slightly, it was as if energy was transferred, and she felt warmer just from a simple hand hold. They had shared hugs and cuddles, before, but this felt different, as tame as it was. Nazz blushed a little, just a tinge of pink. She beamed a smile at him.

“That’s great!”

“Yes… well… I’m a—uh… enj-joying this t-time with you.”

Eddward felt warmer, himself, the way she looked at him, so happy he was there. Nazz hadn’t made him feel this nervous in a long time. The look on her face, the shimmer in her teal eyes, he never noticed before, the cherry lip gloss glistened. She was standing so close, and her small hand was trapped in his. Her touch did something it had never done.

“I want you to dance with me.”

“D-dance‽”

“Uh-huh. You’re smart enough to dance, right?”

“I’ve never been one for dancing. I suppose I could figure it out for you.” He swallowed.

The excitement on her face, was something else. She pulled him towards where the others were dancing to early nineties style hip-hop. Eddward focused on separate pieces of the song, and glanced at the moves of others, and decided to wing it and let Nazz lead.

“There ya go,” she cheered.

“Way to loosen up some, Double Dee,” somebody said.

“It’s not that bad, and you’re pretty good.”

“I’m okay at it.”

“Nonsense! You’ve got to stop selling yourself short. You’re a great person, I have known you a long time, and gotten even closer to you. I can honestly say that I have no complaints as of yet.”

“Aww… Double Dee!”

“I mean it. You’re turning into a beautiful young woman.”

Kevin was upstairs with a few friends of his, somebody had brought harder stuff to the party. The conversation had moved towards Eddward and Nazz at some point, and Kevin was encouraged to do something about it even more, since he already wanted to, anyway. Kevin and his friends came down the steps to loud cheering in the den. He limped that way, and saw Eddward with his lips on Nazz.

“Mother fucker,” Kevin yelled.

Nazz held Eddward’s face and pressed her lips to his, he let her slip her tongue in his mouth, he could feel her moan of relief.

“It’s q-quite a shame th-that wasn’t m-my f-f-first kiss,” he stammered once their kiss broke.

Nazz giggled. “Not mine either, but… it’s our first kiss.”

“Indeed it is.” He smiled. “And those lips of yours are just divine.”

Nazz’s face grew redder and she cackled embarrassingly. He found it odd that she of all people had gotten embarrassed, it was very cute, to him the way she stammered, as everything that formed words, but the words jumbled from her mouth. Eddward went in for another kiss, and something decided to disturb them.

“Not dating, huh‽” Kevin yanked Edd by his collar.

Edd grimaced. “Yeah well… now we are. Does it really matter?”

“Yeah it fucking matters!”

“Why, Kev? I dumped you, I can be with who I fucking want to! There’s nothing for you to win here, and this isn’t a good look,” Nazz snapped.

“He still deserves a beating for stealing you from me!”

“Excuse me, but I did no such thing! Your situation is your own damned fault, Kevin. I even tried to help you out, and convince Nazz to spend more time with you. No, no… if you put your ego and arrogance to the side, for just a little while, you’ll see this is the discontent, that you sewn all by yourself.”

“Well I’m still fucking pissed, and beating the shit out of you is gonna make me feel better.”

“I suggest you find another healthier, positive way to deal with your emotions… like a poem.”

Eddward went to grab her hand and walk away. Kevin grabbed Eddward’s bicep and yanked him back.

“Nah, dawg. Sometimes you gotta let anger be anger,” Kevin growled.

Eddward quickly maced him in the face.

“You have a point, Kevin,” Edd spoke coldly.

Kevin rubbed at his face and stumbled back, then shrieked in a high pitched manner, repeatedly. His friends grabbed him, Eddward and Nazz just watched.

“What kinda bitch-made move was that,” one guy asked and begun to step forward.

“Bitch-made‽ Sir, when one lacks the muscles and skill to fight, one must do what they need to balance things out, and survive.”

“Still a dirty trick!”

“Tough shit,” Edd snapped and sprayed him, when he got too close.

The football player immediately turned around and puked. Jimmy danced around him and quickly moved to Eddward and Nazz. The crowd already in shock from Eddward winning a fight, nobody else wanted to risk getting a shot to the face, with his quick reflexes.

“Well I heard it all, and, well, since you’re obviously okay; congrats on finally dating,” Jimmy said.

“Thanks, Jimmy,” Nazz said.

Kevin shook his friends off, with heavy breath, tried to fight the pain and go after Eddward.

“I’m not… we’re not… done… yet.”

Eddward turned to see Kevin twitching, and sighed heavy, his vision was blurry and full of stinging tears, everything had a green haze. The potency attacked his sinuses each time he inhaled, burned his face, stung his skin, even his taste buds suffered. Kevin not only could taste the smell, but it mixed with his saliva and made him drool.

“Even you’re not that tough.”

“T-try… me.”

Eddward shrugged and swung at his face, with a hit to an eye. Kevin fell and writhed on the floor.

“If you were thinking straight, instead of being blinded by anger; you’d have known I still carry it… now you’re just blind.”

“Maybe we should go,” Jimmy suggested.

“My thoughts exactly, Jimmy. If Nazz doesn’t mind.”

“Mmm… no. I think I can find something better to do.”

“Or… somebody,” Jimmy teased.

“Jimmy!” Her face was red with embarrassment.

As they walked onto Rathink court, the three started to split up, Nazz led Eddward to her house, and Jimmy went to his.

“Jimmy?”

They looked towards Ed’s house and spotted Sarah on the curb.

“That’s my name.”

“Can we talk?”

“Are you going to yell at me and try to fight me?”

She shook her head. “I realized I don’t have anybody, and these stupid meds are messing with my head.”

“They’re supposed to do that,” he retorted.

“I… I know. I just don’t like it, why do—”

“You’re a terrible person without them… you’re a tyrant, like… like Lee and Eddy combined.”

Nazz and Eddward listen, not too far away.

“That’s not fair for everybody else, Sarah.”

“My parents have really been working with my brother. Ever since Double Dee did what he did, if it even looks like I’m being bad, I get yelled at. I need somebody on my side.”

Jimmy looked at Nazz and Eddward. “I don’t know if I can trust you.”

“I know.”

“And it hasn’t been that long.”

“I’m on really strong stuff… they’re trying to figure out a good dose, and of what.”

“Maybe she should share some with Eddy ,” Edd whispered to Nazz, who giggled.

“You know I’m not a pushover anymore, and knowing you, you’re just going to stop taking them and go back to your old ways.”

“If I do that, then… I want you to drop me forever. I’m starting to get it. It’s like I don’t really feel anything, yet… I feel other things. After a while I was mad at myself for pushing you away. I barely feel sad about it—I barely feel anything. But I remember what I felt, what I’ve done.” Sarah looked to the sky. “I think a lot these days… there’s not much I feel like doing, anyway.”

Jimmy just watched, she seemed to be somber about it all.

“Maybe it’s the drugs talking, but if the real me, with the borderline bipolar personality disorder, is what pushes people away, then I’d rather be like this. I hate being alone—even reached out to Eddy.”

“Eddy,” Edd exclaimed.

“He didn’t want anything to do with me, at first. But he’s alone, too. He gets so mad at the slightest thing—sounds like somebody, huh?” Her mouth almost smiled.

“He’s alone? What about Ed,” Jimmy asked.

“Ed got tired of him treating him like crap. It’s strange… watching Ed lash out, and Eddy backing down for once in his life, since Ed could stomp him to paste, is odd. Maybe he’s backing down to me, too? Or understanding me better? I don’t exactly know what’s going on, but he’s… nice to me, and I like it. I think I like it… I don’t hate him anymore, that’s for sure.”

Eddward and Nazz exchanged glances, then looked at Jimmy, who shrugged.

“We just sit and listen to his record and CD collection, quite a bit. Under all of that… Eddy stuff, he’s not too bad.”

“Well… I might think about it. Night for now.”

“Kay.”

The two watched him go home and watched her; it looked like she wanted to cry, it was in her eyes. It wasn’t too much later that Eddy walked out of his front door and went up to her.

“Ya can’t really blame him, just… give it some time. C’mon.”

They watched Eddy walk her to his house, and they left as well.

“That was… something,” Edd spoke.

“Yeah. Hey, maybe Sarah and Eddy might be a thing?”

“Stranger things have happened,” he said as he sat on her couch.

“I’ll say.” She sat in his lap. “Now I wanna finish what we started at the party.”

“Oh dear… what ever shall I do,” he feigned concern.

“Pucker those lips.”

During their gratuitous make-out session, they didn’t hear the car pull in, or the door open. A smile on her moms face, as she quietly shut the door, silently moved towards them and leaned in.

“How’s it going, kids?”

Their eyes shot open.

“Oh,” Edd shouted as he jumped.

Nazz shrieked and shoved him to the floor, her mom found it hilarious.

“M-m-m-m-miss Von Bartenssschm—Bart… umm… umm. I uh—we, it’s—I c-c-can expla-explain,” Edd stammered.

“Explain that you were making out with my daughter,” she asked with a smirk.

Eddward opened his mouth, but no words escaped, he simply nodded.

“I guess this means you two are going steady, now, huh?” She looked at Nazz, who hid her blushed face in her lap.

Her mom held out a hand, and pulled Eddward off the floor, and into a hug.

“Good. You make her so happy!”

“Y-you’re not angry,” he asked, confused.

“Mad at what, her picking the right boy for once? Oh come on, dude!”

“I’m so sorry, Double Dee! I panicked.”

“I’m well familiar with panic, I understand.”

“So you’re staying for dinner, right, new boyfriend,” her mom asked.

“I suppose that’s the obligation, now.”

“Good.” She sat him back on the couch. “Now… if you’re really sorry… you should kiss him and make it feel better.”

The couple just looked at each other confused.

“Now that you’re gonna be my future son-in-law; we’re really gonna unify that mind and body of yours. It was one thing when you were just a friend in need, in a bad place—,” she started to yell from the kitchen.

“Ugh, mom! We just started dating, like an hour ago!”

"You two have been building such a deep relationship with each other, I think you two just realized you were dating this whole time.”

“May I ask what exactly do you mean by unify, miss—”

“Dude, if you don’t start calling me mom—the gods know I’ve been the better one. You spend so much time working that muscle in your head, you neglected the rest of them. You need something to support that backbone, you’ve been growing,” she said with a laugh.

“I suppose my new annoyance and refusal to keep up with my parents tight and strict schedule, does leave me with more free time,” he mused.

“Yeah, that’s the spirit, son.”

Over the weekend her mom got him started on the basics for muscle memory, and figured out the best way to get him to build some muscle. He was tired, but somehow a kiss from Nazz seemed to supercharge him… and it probably, most certainly helped that he saw her in her workout clothes. The sports bra that revealed her breast were bigger than he thought, spandex shorts that revealed her thighs, and in-between was her toned stomach. Nazz was a barely miniature version of her mom, Eddward looked forward to when she turned into that.

Her mom taught him how to evade street brawlers, how to block, on top of the Tai Chi that she knew. As he was easily able to pick things up, she got excited along with Nazz, her accent was basically out and proud. At some point when they took a break, Eddward had a few questions.

“It seems as though extreme emotion brings her accent out,” he stated.

“It never truly went away, and please… call me Sloan, dear.”

“You should hear her, when she’s really mad,” Nazz added with a smile.

“You would allow me to call you by your name?”

“Sloan, or mom… your choice. You’re not a stranger to this house, you’re my baby’s heart, so you are mine.”

“Oh… okay, if you insist.” He turned to Nazz. “Did you lose the accent, Nazz? From what I recall, you’re third generation here.”

“I worked hard to not have it. When I was younger, I was fat, and with that accent, I wasn’t making any friends.”

“I see.”

“I had to fit in.”

“No, no… I understand. Because of Eddy, as we both know; I never really fit in either. But listening to your mom speak, I think it’s one of the most beautiful European accents, I’ve ever heard. Of course I want nothing for you to be comfortable and happy, I think Rolf has the right idea—to an annoying fault, not to lose or forget who he is, or where he comes from.”

“Aren’t you a sweet one, Double Dee. We haven’t forgotten who we are, we barely speak English in this house, by ourselves,” Sloan explained.

“I would be proud if I had a direct line. According to my research, we’re… mutts.”

Both of them laughed. Her mother spoke something to her in their language, and Nazz nodded.

“If you’d like, we can teach you our language. It’s not too far from Latin, as a man of science, I know you can speak that,” Sloan stated.

“I’d be delighted!”

“Aren’t you curious to what she told me,” Nazz asked.

“A little, but you know I don’t pry in others business.”

“Okay, well, how’s this sound; I drop this surfer girl stuff, because she said you were right, and I should,” she switched to her real voice, “and stop being a poser to fit in. Since you enjoy it, and I want to be good enough for you.”

Her voice was like velvet to his ears, and flowed like heavy cream, it sent shivers down his spine, he accidentally let out a moan.

“We sound sexy, yeah,” Sloan asked with her full accent.

Od course he thought so, but his home training wouldn’t let him admit it. He gulped what felt like a lump down.

“I… I…,” he cleared his throat and did his best to calm himself. “You are already good enough, Nazz. If it makes you happy to be more authentic, that is all that matters. I’m aware of school social politics. If you to use that lovely voice of a… a… angel—no! Valkyrie, I’m all for it. I didn’t think you could get any more beautiful.”

That word; beautiful, carried more weight, than the common nouns she hears herself constantly being called; hot, or hottie, bangin’, or other superficial terms. She took in a sharp breath. Sloan said something else in their native tongue. Nazz’s body shivered a little, before she let out an excited shriek and giggle like the school girl she is.

“Don’t just sit there, Double Dee, show her how you really feel.”

“Oh?”

“Give her a kiss.” She waved a hand at him. “Let’s see some of that spine.”

Eddward looked at how red she was, with a big joyful smile. He leaned in and went to kiss her on the cheek.

“Not there, you’re not her friend anymore!”

Nazz grabbed his hands and pushed her lips to his.

“There we go. Aukh, just totally wonderful!” Sloan reached for her phone and took a few pictures. “Wait until the family back home see this.”

When they were done kissing, Edd looked at her and asked; “seeing us kiss doesn’t offend you?”

“Not one bit! Back home, we’re a bit more liberal, than here in America, at least in some ways. You’re lucky your both virgins, although… I don’t think you’d oppose, at least after you spend more time with us.”

“Mom,” Nazz whined, with full knowledge of what Sloan was referring to.

Sloan chuckled. “Okay, I’ll make a nice lunch, and you two get back at it.”

The weekend was hard work for him, but he wanted to prove himself worthy, and he knew that there was nothing wrong with a bit of self-improvement. The first two nights he ended up there on the couch. Sunday, he insisted on returning home. He discovered his parents had not been there, and lack of their strict cleaning regiment had not yet caused a calamity that threatened the integrity of the house, or anything within.

A few days had passed by, he was practically living there after school. The change of scenery and routine did him some good, he felt like some of his issues that he was sure was instilled by his parents, were fading some. They even welcomed Ed over, who joined in on the meditation and Tai Chi, and seemed to calm his full throttle mind along with the changes to his household.

The Kankers were back in school, Kevin was healed up just nice. Eddward and Nazz had no remaining bruises. Kevin grimaced at the blatant sight of the two together. Her real voice was a shock to many.

“Don’t look now, but I think Nazz stole your man,” Lee stated.

“He really is a jerk… I don’t care anymore.”

“Yeah? Can’t handle a little competition, huh?”

“Shut up! Oh they’re still gonna pay for breaking my heart, and disrespecting me!”

“Oh come on guys, just leave them alone,” May blurted.

“What,” both yelled.

“Well… everything he said was true, and… he… he’s never been interested—none of the Ed’s,” her voice grew quieter, as they leered at her.

“Get yer head in the game,” Lee yelled.

“For real, yall!”

“That’s it! Yer benched,” Marie yelled, picked her up and slammed her in a trash can. “Let’s do this.”

Chapter Text

The two sisters walked over to the couple as they talked to Rolf.

“Ah yes! Your country helped mine in the great rutabaga famine! Rolf thought the surname sounded familiar, but I had no clue you were from—”

“We need to talk! What’s this here,” Lee asked.

“Yeah, why do you keep doing this to me, Oven Mitt?”

“If this isn’t enough proof that I do not like you, then I don’t know what to tell you, Marie.”

“I get that!”

“Finally she understands,” Nazz said.

“What’s with your voice,” Lee asked.

“It’s my real voice. Unlike your shrill, Marie, Double Dee finds it sexy.”

“You’re both pissing me off! C’mon Lee, let’s teach them some respect!”

“One would need to know respect, and have the capacity for it, to teach it,” Edd said.

“Oh, Double Dee, I think Eddy might have him a girlfriend,” Nazz cooed.

“What‽ He’d better not be two-timing me!” Lee turned around and saw Eddy with Sarah.

“Lee, that’s not important right now,” Marie whined.

“Shove it up yer ass, Marie! I’m saving mine,” she said as she marched over.

“So… you and what army,” Nazz asked.

“Th-thank you for walking with me again,” Sarah told Eddy.

“It’s no thing, babe. You’re alright these days, kid.”

“Babe? You think I’m a babe?”

“I mean… I guess? No offense, but you’re easier to deal with on the meds.”

“You’re the only person that seems to care about me.”

“Please, I’m sure Jimmy will come around.”

“I’ve never seen this side of you, one that cares, is kind, understanding. You’re everything I saw in Double Dee. Why aren’t you like this more?”

“You know! I can’t let people think I’m weak, or nothin’, or a chump.”

“I don’t see that, and who cares what anybody thinks?”

“Uhh… you do.”

Sarah shook her head. “Only you matter. You’re the only one who hasn’t gave me what I deserve.”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t know why I came to you. I didn’t know who to turn to.”

“You never thought much about me.”

“Double Dee was right about me. I’ve had to face reality at therapy. I’m a bitch, Eddy.”

“Hey, hey… things’ll be fine—fine. You’re really sweet-like.”

“I am?”

“Yeah.”

“Even with my messed up head?”

I guess we can see how all this goes.”

“We? Like… umm,” her voice trailed off and she blushed.

“Did I say we?” Eddy started to blush and scratch his head with a nervous chuckle. “Well… you don’t, uh, cramp my style, I guess?”

“Really?” Her mouth twitched.

“These other girls can’t handle me, anyway.” He chuckled again.

Sarah leaned into him, and he brushed his fingers against hers, and started to intertwine them, until she was snatched away. The sound of her slammed against the locker brought them back to earth.

“I know you’re not after my man, pipsqueak! There’s only one redhead in his life, and that’s me!”

“Lee,” Sarah shrieked.

“Let her go! Back off, Lee,” Eddy yelled.

“I’ll get to you, in a minute.” Lee pulled and pushed Sarah into the locker again. “What’s the big idea, pushin’ up on my man, like that, huh‽”

Sarah was quiet, a mix of vague emotions crossed her face.

“Well‽ Ya got an answer, or do I gotta beat it outta you‽”

“Sarah, do something… fight back,” Eddy said.

“I… can’t.”

“She knows bettah!”

“I can’t get mad enough to fight back.”

Lee chuckled. “Even better.”

“I ain’t forgot about the party, Double Dickhead, my balls… stealing my girl,” Kevin walked up.

“Wait your turn,” Marie snapped.

“I’m not property, Kev!”

“I’m not waiting for shit! He maced me! Shit was like death!” He leered down at Marie.

“Yeah, it sucks ass, right?”

“Yeah… I’m tired of getting my ass kicked by a nerd. Some friend you were!”

“You still neither listen, nor learn,” Edd spoke.

“Go on. Soon as you reach in your pocket, I’m kicking you square in the chest!”

“Can’t wait for round two,” Marie sneered. “None of that kung fu junks gonna help you now.”

“And you don’t have your sisters to help, you’ll be quick work.” Her voice was tough like raw leather.

“You’re doing that voice again‽” Kevin asked, annoyed.

“It’s my natural voice! Double Dee likes it…. he thinks it’s sexy. Dude we’re done, let it go, how many times are you going to end up a fool? And Marie… he doesn’t like you at all! You’re a horrible person.”

“You two should date each other and leave us be, if you can’t stand being alone,” Edd added.

“Her‽”

“Him‽”

 Nazz looked between them when she heard Eddy yell.

“Mind your own business,” Marie snapped.

“We don’t have time for this petty shit. I promise if we fight, you’re still gonna be sad. When we win… you’re just gonna be miserable,” Edd explained.

“Well you’re feeling bold, huh,” Kevin asked.

“She’s gonna know her place, and you already know yours,” Lee growled.

They watched her ball up her fist and punch Sarah right in the stomach. Sarah wheezed deep, and doubled over, Lee caught her and forced her back up.

“We ain’t done until ya learn.”

Eddy only watched in fear, as Lee punched her again.

“Eh… Eddy.” Her voice was choked.

“Don’t call my man!”

“Enough Lee… stop it,” he begged.

“You’re not givin’ orders around hea! Shut yer trap.”

All he could remember was the day they beat him senseless with Ed, and every single time they lost to them, before.

“I’m tired of this shit! I dunno what makes you think you can stand up to me. What makes yall think we’re not the ones you’re supposed to be waitin’ on hand and foot fer.” Lee punched her again. “Think your worth, or deserve anybody else.”

Eddy saw tears fall from Sarah’s eyes. The old Sarah would’ve ripped down a locker and sent Lee down the hall with a line drive. He couldn’t stand the old Sarah. The new Sarah didn’t send him through his bedroom wall, when he lost patience, kept coming back over, she listened to him, she enjoyed his music, he had to get more patience with her when she didn’t function right, had to pay more attention to her muted emotions. She tried to comfort him when his friends abandoned him. She came to him when her family turned on her. She didn’t want the pills, or the therapy, she didn’t want to get sent away either, if she refused.  As much as he knew she deserved what she was getting, it didn’t feel right.

“Ehhh… dee.”

“He’s gonna get his, don’t worry.”

Her voice pulled him from his head. Lee had her pinned by the throat, ready to hit her again.

“Enough!”

“I’ll decide that, Shortstop,” Lee sneered.

“I said enough, Lee,” he growled and grabbed her wrist.

“Cute.” She went to yank free, but his grip didn’t break. “You’re starting to hurt my wrist.”

“Because I’m not some weak lil kid anymore. Let her go… now!”

“No,” she said calmly, and stomped his foot.

Eddy gnashed his teeth and dealt with it.

“You’re really gonna defend this little terrorist?”

Eddy slapped her hand from her throat. “What’s it to ya‽” He stepped between them, he felt her reach for his hand.

“You’re off your rocker! What’s this bravery alluva sudden, huh? You forget who I was‽”

Lee punched him in the face, and he stumbled back.

“Now where we, Sarah?”

“You were fucking off,” Eddy said through gritted teeth. He had never felt so angry. He looked Lee right where her eyes were, gave her one of his trademark shoves that sent her down the hall.

“Edd—”

“Shhh. Save it, Sarah.” He lifted her head to look at him.

Eddy picked her up and ran the other direction.

“May! Stop him,” Lee bellowed.

May popped her head out of the trash can to see Eddy headed her way. “I got’em, Lee!”

“Oops,” Jonny said as he kicked the trash can over.

“Marie, stop Eddy,” May called out.

“What‽” She turned to see Eddy, and went to tackle him.

Nazz tripped her with a hard upswept kick in the shin. Eddy ran across her back.

“Run Eddy,” Edd called out.

“You bitch,” Marie screamed.

“Once Marie gets a hold of Nazz, you’ll be easy picking,” Kevin sneered.

Marie got up and went after Nazz. Kevin threw a punch at Eddward, who dodged it, his brain calculating possible trajectories of Kevin’s punches, and knew from experience that Kevin liked to aim for the face. Nazz and Marie were in a grapple, where she spat in Nazz’s face. Nazz reached for her hair, cursed her out in her native language, then repeatedly punched her in the face. Eddward blocked and deflected Kevin’s punches, knelt down and drove his elbow into his stomach with a follow up square in his chest and pushed him back. Kevin charged at him, Eddward grabbed his arm, and used his momentum to flip him on his back. Nazz spun around, grabbed Marie, and tossed her with a shoulder throw, Marie landed near Kevin.

“I… I did it. Nazz, I did it!”

“I saw it, babe! You were great!”

Nazz embraced him and gave him a kiss.

“I knew you could do it!”

Edd turned to their defeated foes. “You know… they really do make a good couple.”

“A couple of punk ass lames.”

“Honestly, they really should just date each other… it actually might work, if they don’t kill each other, fighting for dominance. Marie and Kevin do have a few things in common,” Edd said as he led her away.

“Like her sisters would stand for her being the only one with a boyfriend. I think Eddy might have a thing for Sarah.”

Eddy ran down another hall, went in a janitors closet and sat her on the sink.

“Sarah… Sarah, are you okay‽”

She just looked at him with a pained look.

“I’m… sorry. I was scared… but I got more scared at how bad she… she would hurt ya. I guess I am just all talk—a sissy. I let her hurt you. Any other time I’d’ve loved it, but… but…”

Sarah grabbed his hand when he looked away in shame.

“Eddy,” she said through labored breath.

He looked at her, and she had a weak smile on her face.

“Thanks.”

“I failed, though.”

She shook her head. “You saved me. You’re there every… every time I need you.”

“I care about ya, kid.”

“I want to keep getting better for you.”

“Come on, Sarah…”

“Be honest for once, Eddy.”

“Fine… be honest.”

“Be better.”

Eddy looked at his shoes, back up at Sarah, and kissed her.

At lunch, Eddward, Nazz, Edward, and Jimmy sat together.

“I heard what happened earlier today,” Jimmy stated.

“Yeah,” Nazz spat.

“They need to understand we’re off limits, and move on with their lives,” Edd added.

“Kev and Marie,” Nat asked as he sat down.

“Mm-hmm,” Jimmy answered.

“And Lee even went after Eddy and Sarah,” Nazz said.

“Yeah… I saw Eddy running down the halls with her over his shoulder, and they hang out a lot,” Nat said.

“That is odd, he hates Sarah as much as Lee. Ed, do you know anything about that?”

Ed thought for a moment, but quicker than usual, had an answer; “he’s been spending more time with Sarah, lately.”

“Are they… are they dating,” Nazz asked.

Ed shrugged. “Ah dunno. We don’t talk. You were right, Double Dee… it was hard, and for a while I missed him, but… my parents have been spending more time with me, and helping with school and smarts stuff.”

“So that’s why you haven’t asked for my help. Well that’s good, Ed. Keep it up, I’m proud of you.”

“Way to go, ya big lug,” Nazz cheered.

“What’s with your voice? Are you sick?”

“No, Ed.” She chuckled. “It’s my real voice. I changed it to sound more American and fit in.”

“I like it. You sound like the reanimated queen of Evil Tim!”

Nazz chuckled.

“Wait, Eddy is hanging out with Sarah, like a lot,” Nat asked.

“Uh-huh. She always goes over his house.”

“What if they were dating,” Nat asked. “I bet they are.”

“Please don’t start that rumor, they’ll both be on a warpath. Especially Sarah,” Jimmy said.

“Nah, Sarah’s meds work too good,” Ed said.

“Ah dunno… I’m watching them, and it looks like it,” Nat sang.

They all looked over to where Eddy sat with Sarah and Jonny.  Eddy had an arm around her that held her close, as they ate.

“He did actually defend her from Lee,” Nazz mused. “Maybe?”

“Lee’s pissed,” Jimmy said.

“So far, May’s the only one who hasn’t done anything, that I know of. What are we gonna do?”

“Don’t worry your precious little head. I warned them all… I already have plans.” Edd smiled devilishly.

“I’m not gonna be made a fool again,” Lee said when she got to her locker.

“Right,” Marie agreed.

“I could’ve helped if somebody didn’t throw me in the trash can!”

“Like you’re actually useful, anyway,” Marie snapped.

“Right.” Lee said, and opened her locker.

Once the door was fully open, there was a slight hiss.

“Huh, what was—”

Pow! A boxing glove crashed into her face. Lee was sent into the other side of the hallway. Her sisters were shocked.

“Holy shit,” Marie exclaimed.

“Hey! There’s a note!” May grabbed it.

“Well read it,” Marie snapped.

“I told you, and I warned you all to leave us alone. My hands been forced, signed Edd.”

“That dirty…” Marie’s voice trailed off as she helped Lee up.

Lee was dazed from the hit, and staggered to her feet.

They walked Lee towards her class, and May stopped at her locker. She was cautious when she opened it, the three girls stood to the side.

“Anything,” May asked.

“Nope. Hey! How come your locker wasn’t sabotaged,” Lee spoke up.

“Ah dunno. There’s a note.” She pulled it down and read; “for your lack of involvement in the altercations, these words of advice will be your final warning. Be better than your sisters, they’ll drag you down. I see promise in you, if you just focus on your work, and not the foolish things your sisters value. Signed Edd.”

“Maybe he just has a thing for blondes,” Lee shrugged.

“I don’t even care, anymore,” Marie snapped.

At Marie’s locker, they were just as cautious. When she opened her locker, nothing initially happened.

“Maybe he hates you th—”

A time delayed fist shot out and hit her square in the face, sent her to the ground, same as Lee.

May pulled the note and read; “clearly you’d be worried when May got nothing, and Lee got it instantly. This is just the tip of the iceberg, I, with science, will make your lives more miserable, than they already are. Final warning.”

“Don’t read another word,” Lee snapped.

“That’s all there was, anyway!”

“Yeah, well… get Marie back on her feet.”

“What was…?”

“A sucker punch, is what. He must not know we don’t back down easily,” Lee stated.

“I know they don’t back down easy, but I’m going to teach them a thing or two, if it’s the last thing I do,” Edd spoke.

“They’re not worth it, Double Dee. Don’t stoop down to their level,” Jimmy said.

“I’d hate to do that, but how far do I have to go, to get them to stop?”

“They’re too stupid to learn,” Eddy said as he walked up.

“Well if it isn’t Eddy.” Jimmy leered.

“What’s it to ya, Fluffy‽”

“I have a few more tricks up my sleeve.  Why did Lee get threatened by Sarah, she knows she can’t stand you.”

“You know how Lee gets.”

“Or at least couldn’t stand you. From what I hear, the two of you are pretty close these days.”

“You gossipin’ now, Double Dee?”

“Not at all. We saw the both of you at lunch.”

“Looking lovey-dovey,” Jimmy added.

“She was just… still shaken up, that’s all.”

“Shaken up? Sarah? And she sought solace with you‽”

“Yeah she did! What are you, jealous? Why shouldn’t she come to me, when nobody else would? I’m a real man! Is she supposed to go to Jimmy? She can’t turn to you or Nazz.” His voice started to waver. “She ain’t… she ain’t got nobody but… me.”

Jimmy and Eddward just looked at him.

“The old Sarah would’ve made short work of her, but she can’t. She’s going through a lot, and, well… maybe she deserves a lot of it. Okay‽ Just not on my watch.”

“It seems you’ve gotten pretty attached to her,” Edd stated.

“A ladies man, like me? Pfft.”

“Uh-huh. Sarah’s the only girl I’ve ever seen you with. All the rest think you’re cheesy, lame, creepy, pathetic, and funny—as in they like to make fun of you. They want nothing to do with you,”  Jimmy stated.

“Yeah, well I got Sarah, and she has me! I don’t see you with any girl… or boy, more likely.  I like spending time with her, okay? I… I like her. Is that what you wanted to hear?”

“I think maybe you needed to say it more than we wanted to hear it,” Jimmy said. “You ain’t no rolling stone, papa, so you better be thankful for any home that wants you.”

Chapter Text

By the time the weekend hit, the school knew well enough that Eddward and Nazz were a couple. What surprised everybody was the awkward relationship between Eddy and Sarah. Being with Nazz had pulled Eddward from his comfort zone, and that was fine with him, he felt happier than he had in a long time. The self-defense training and exercising, were something he found he was just a quick learner to, as academics.

“You’re getting good at this! And I think you’re building some muscle, too. Brains and brawn, oh that’s so hot,” Nazz said, and kissed his lips.

“I didn’t think I had it in me, but you proved otherwise. I still don’t want to play any sports, though.”

“That’s fine, babe. I just want you happy.”

“I am. I truly am, despite the world we’re subjected to.”

“Snacks for my precious ones!” Sloan came in with food.

“Thanks mom,” Nazz said.

“Yeah… umm… mom…?”

Sloan smiled, pulled him into a hug, her breast barely restrained by her sports bra, pressed against his chest. “One day I’m gonna be your mom, tha way things are going. Right?”

“I… honestly hope so.”

She let go.

“I wish my own mother had half of what you have.”

“I’ve seen her, she is lacking in some things, yeah?” Sloan lifted her chest, and rubbed her thighs, with a smack to her butt. “I knew you liked!”

“Oh dear, that’s not—” He pulled his hat over his face.

Sloan guffawed loudly. “I’m just joking, take a chill pill! Yes, she’s rather cold appearing, more a mother out of sense of duty, than the love of it.”

“Mom, please. How is that going, Double Dee?”

“I left them a strongly worded letter that stated how it makes no sense that they want to run my life, and consequently barely pay attention to it, that I realized how sheltered they made me. And how their strict parenting leaves me hardly time for the things I do like. The correspondence has been rather heated.”

“I hope things turn out better for you.”

“That what you want, babe, to get married,” Nazz asked.

“I did basically say that, didn’t I?” He chuckled. “I’d like to see that progression… that’s how I feel, although it may be a tad too soon to think so.”

“I think we might make it.” She hugged him.

“If we keep at it.”

“You do have a smart one,” Sloan said.

To wind down, they decided to go on a walk.

“Another day you put off your homework,” Nazz teased.

“I’ll make short work of it, anyway.”

“How’s things with your parents, really?” She held his hand.

“Not good. Sure I’m still s minor, but I need some agency, you know?”

“Yeah. My moms not the free spirit you think she is.”

“I figured. But she’s still more lenient.”

“Down to earth,” she corrected.

They went down the alley towards the creek and woods.

“The sunsets so pretty,” Nazz said.

“It is.”

They walked towards the direction of the junkyard, and heard voices.

“I know… I’ve never had anybody either, and yes, I wanna do it. I thought you felt the same?”

“I do. I know I do. But mister ladies man, you ain’t making it easier.”

“I’m gonna be honest… I was never a ladies man. I don’t really know what I’m doing.”

“You really had us all fooled.”

“I know that was sarcasm.”

“Is that Sarah,” Nazz asked.

“And Eddy.”

They crept closer and spotted them as they sat on a log.

“I’m just nervous, plus you’re younger’n me.”

“I’m nervous too, sweetie.”

“Yeah but… what if it’s just your meds messin’ with ya? What if once everything’s balanced out… you realize what a big mistake you made, trying to date me?”

“You think it’s my meds? Eddy… you told me you took Double Dees advice. I see how hard you’ve been trying. If there’s a chance that I lose you, if I stopped taking them, you’re just another reason I gotta keep doing it. You care so much about me, and I like that. I’ve never felt this way before. I never knew you would feel the way you do. And so what if I’m younger, it’s just a year and a half.”

“What if I amount to nothing? I know you’re smart.”

Sarah smiled. “You’re not gonna amount to nothing. You could always find a girl better than me… more stable. I’m a wreck, and my brain doesn’t work right. I am so lucky to have you.”

“I got to see the real you… or at least I think so.”

“It kinda is.”

“I don’t want anybody else.” He grabbed her hand. “As long as your sure about this, as I am, I think we’ll be fine.”

“I want to show people we’re dating. It’s actually pretty hard for me, and not just ‘cause I’m really nervous, either.”

“Lee doesn’t make shit easier,” he spoke with an edge to his voice.

“She’s not gonna make me leave you, either.”

Sarah moved into his lap, and they shared a kiss.

“That’s actually kinda sweet,” Nazz said.

“Well, well, well!”

“Uh-oh,” Nazz and Edd spoke.

“Look at the two love birds.”

“Trying to be all romantic like.”

“Kankers,” Eddy spat.

“You’re interrupting something important,” Sarah spoke.

“No duh,” Marie teased.

“We’re gonna settle this. You don’t just get to walk away from this, Shortstop,” Lee explained.

“What‽ We never had anything! And stop calling me that, I’m taller than you.”

“Not when I’m done with ya. You two handle the mental patient, but leave me some.”

“Why don’t you just move on, and get a life? Ya know… Double Dees right; you’re your own worst enemy. I never wanted you, I don’t like you. There’s no point in this!”

Lee chuckled. “It’ll make me feel better. Get her.”

May and Marie went to snatch Sarah from him, he held on to her.

“No, stop! Eddy don’t let go!”

May kicked him in his shin, as hard as she could. He sucked in air and still held her. May kicked him again, and Marie bit Sarah’s arm.

“If there’s one thing I can do, is take a beating!”

“Just let us be happy,” she cried.

Marie got one of her arms loose, and Eddy couldn’t bare the pain anymore. Their grip waned and the girls yanked her to the ground. Lee grabbed Eddy by the collar.

“No,” Nazz gasped.

“Please stop,” Sarah begged.

Nazz ran towards them, with Eddward not too far behind.

“Screw me, save Sarah,” Eddy cried out.

“Round two, bitch,” Marie yelled.

Nazz jumped and sent her knees right into Maries chest. She rolled when they both hit the ground, and stood up. Marie gasped for air.

“Fight back, Sarah,” Nazz spoke.

“I can’t. May… please don’t hurt me.”

“Why shouldn’t I?”

“Fuck her up, May!  Now, you, Casanova…”

“May, I don’t wanna be hurt.”

“Come now, May, have some mercy. She’s done nothing to you, and it’s not even your fight. You’re just enabling her jealousy,” Edd explained.

Lee kneed Eddy in the stomach and dug her nails into his cheek and pinched.

“Stop, don’t,” Sarah cried out.

Eddy grabbed Lees wrist, she head-butted him.

“Put yourself in their situation, May. Would you want this to happen to you?”

“Eddy,” Sarah said with a tinge of panic.

She grabbed May and slammed her down as momentum to get up. Sarah ran up to Lee and yanked her by her hair.

“Wait yer turn!”

Lee let go of Eddy and went to punch Sarah, but she caught it in her hand.

“Don’t ever hurt my boyfriend.”

Sarah head-butted her, kicked her in the crotch, lifted Lee over her head and tossed her at May, who just got on her feet, and both hit the ground and tore up the grass, as they slid. Sarah was a bit shocked that her strength briefly returned.

“Sarah,” Eddy grunted.

“I can’t believe I did that—Eddy!” She ran to him. “Are you okay? I was scared she was gonna hurt you, and—”

Eddy picked her up and kissed her.

“Awww,” Nazz cooed.

Marie finally recovered enough to get up, she winced and looked at the two couples.

“Just because the three of you are miserable, doesn’t mean everybody else should be,” Nazz said with a glare.

Lee got up with May, and Sarah cracked her knuckles.

“I warned you three, that your antics are no longer welcome. Now my hands been forced, since you keep hurting me and my friends,” Edd spoke.

“Let’s get outta here,” Lee mumbled.

“Are you two okay,” Nazz asked after the sisters left.

“I’ve had worse… as long as Sarah’s okay,” Eddy groaned.

“I’m fine, thanks to Nazz.”

“So you two are dating now,” Edd asked.

“Is it a problem, Sockhead?”

“No, it’s great you both found each other,” Nazz answered.

“Yeah… it is. Sarah, I thought you couldn’t do that anymore?”

“I… I don’t know. I was just scared you’d be hurt.” Sarah looked at her hands.

“Oh. Maybe we can double date sometime,” Nazz offered.

“Perhaps, Sarah, it’s because you have something you value over yourself, and it’s worth fighting for,” Edd mused.

Later on that evening  Eddward decided on a plan he figured was far enough, they would stop. The two couples, along with Ed, sat at the green pad mounted transformer.

“What brought you two together,” Nazz asked.

“I don’t know… one day she kept pestering me, said she was tired of being alone. I didn’t wanna fool with her.”

“My, you have changed,” Edd said sarcastically.

“He did,” Sarah spoke up.

“Yeah, I have, man! I realized I felt alone, too. Those brief times, trying to get her to go away, showed me I was alone. So I let her hang, and she just… put up with me. Ah dunno, man… she brought something outta me. Sarah ain’t the same, and I just had this feeling that I couldn’t be the same, if she was gonna stick around.”

“Aww… somebody finally brought the best out of you,” Nazz exclaimed.

Eddy nodded and wrapped an arm around Sarah.

“I’m happy for the both of you.”

“You were right,” they both said.

“I was just another Lee.”

“I’m trying to be better, which means I owe you an apology, Ed.  I see you getting better, keep up the good work.”

“Ed… me too. I’ve been trying to apologize for being a brat.”

“I don’t know,” he said cautiously. “I do know I want the three amigos together again!”

“Waddaya say, Double Dee,” Eddy asked.

“I suppose with the way things are going, it would be nice. I could use some help with one of my hell Mary’s against the Kankers.”

“I’m all ears,” Eddy yelled.

That night, when everything was complete, they snuck down to the trailer park, and enacted the plan. In two strategic locations, after the Kankers were asleep, windows were jimmied open, Sarah and Nazz were slipped in. Eddward then used his portable welder to seal up the stainless steel exits. Nazz and Sarah both silently and discreetly placed two time released stink bombs, and placed a walkie-talkie where they could find it. When they slipped out of the front door, Eddward welded that one shut.

“I can’t wait to see their faces,” Eddy said with a snicker.

“Oh, we will… we will, and we really need Ed for the last part,” Edd explained.

“I’ll be awake, you can count on it!”

The next morning, they were all up early, met up at Eddward’s, then to the trailer park to watch the show. Somebody banged on the front door.

“Why won’t this door open,” the sisters mother barked.

“What do you mean,” Marie asked.

“The door… won’t open! I’m going to be late for work!”

“Is there something in front of it,” May asked.

“Why don’t you open a window, and see!”

May went to open the window in the living room. “The window won’t open, and there’s bars on it!”

“What‽”

“We’ll try another one,” Lee said.

Lee and Marie tried other ones.

“Hey! The kitchen windows are barred and won’t open, either,” Marie cried out.

“Yeah… the one in our bedroom won’t either,” Lee called back.

May noticed the walkie-talkie in the kitchen.

“Are you shitting me‽ We gotta get outta here! Yall got school, and more importantly; I gotta work! Move!” She went to the kitchen and looked at the windows. “What. The. Fuck‽”

“Is there any other way out, mom,” May asked.

Her mother looked at her, then the other two. “Get her away from me.”

“Dumb ditz, sit down somewhere,” Lee snapped. “And what are you playing with, instead of helping?”

“I am trying to help. It’s a walkie-talkie that was taped to the kitchen table.”

“We don’t have any walkie-talkies,” her mom snapped.

“That’s what it is!”

“It was taped to the table? Wait… somethings not right here,” Marie said.

“Yer jus’ figure’n that out? I thought you were one of the smart ones.” Her mom jabbed her in the chest with a finger. “Let’s find something to break these bars, or cut a hole in the wall—something!”

As they went towards their rooms, there was a sudden bang, like a shotgun, greenish fog quickly spread. The group outside were laughing as they heard the family shouting at each other.

“My eyes are burning,” May wheezed.

“To the other side of the trailer,” Lee yelled.

The heavy fog spread through their rooms, and the bathroom. The smell was unbearable, their eyes and lungs stung. It seemed to taper off and slow towards the middle.

“What the fuck is going on,” their mom yelled.

“Good morning and salutations, Kankers,” Edd spoke from the walkie-talkie.

“Double Dee, is that you,” May asked.

“Yes it is, very astute observation. I hope your morning is going smooth.”

“Ehhh… not really. There’s like a poisonous gas, and none of the windows, or door will open.”

Edd chuckled, and she heard other people laugh.

“It’s surprisingly not poisonous.”

“How would you kn—wait a second!”

“He did this, stupid,” Lee socked her in the back.

“How ya like it,” Eddy yelled into the receiver.

“Of course! Double Dees behind this!” Marie ran to a window. “Wait until I get my hands on you!”

“He’s outside,” Lee asked.

“Dur! With his bimbo girlfriend, Eddy, Sarah, and Ed.”

The rest went to the window.

Lee snatched the walkie-talkie. “Get us outta here!”

“No can do, Lee. You must understand this is your punishment for your cruel treatment of me and my friends. You need to understand what it’s like to be on the receiving end.”

“That gas stuff is creeping in here,” Marie said.

“Stay in there and suffer,” Eddy yelled.

“I told your mom that things would get worse, if you three didn’t quit your bullshit.”

Their mom snatched the walkie-talkie. “Now you look here!”

“No, you had your chance.” Edd chuckled. “I warned you, that we won’t tolerate your daughters anymore. I promised you that I would do something about it.”

“We’re tired of them trying to make us their boyfriends,” Ed added.

“And fucking tired of being beat up, every other time,” Eddy added.

“You little bitches! This is all your fault,” their mom shouted.

They heard what sounded like she had hit them with the thing.

“This isn’t even my last resort of a plan. In fact… it’s not even done, yet.”

Another stink bomb went off, and ruined what fresh air they had left. Somebody banged on the door, while they laughed at the ones who desperately fought with the windows.

“Okay Ed… it’s show time. Do your thing,” he said with the talk button held.

Marie and Lee watched in horror as Ed stepped closer to the trailer.

“Whatever you’re about to do, don’t,” Marie yelled, then coughed as she breathed in too much of the fumes.

Once his fingers gripped the side of the trailer, they pressed in the steel, like it were rubber, their mom rushed to the window.

“What’s he doing? Are those his fingers‽”

“Big Ed is really strong,” May sadly answered.

The trailer shook and rocked, they braced themselves as it lifted up. Furniture, knick-knacks, et cetera, fell on them.  Things inside crashed, banged, and thunked. Raised over his head, they lay on the wall and see his big goofy smile, an omen.

“Olly-oop!”

Ed tossed the trailer in the air. Even with the window faced down, they could see the junkyard. Suddenly they floated, just before the fall. They screamed as the ground approached. The cul-de-sac preteens watched and laughed. The Kankers expected to worse.

“Gotcha,” Ed yelled and laughed. “Whoopsie Daisy!”

He tossed them again, this time he added a spin, the family felt like they were in a rock tumbler, they screamed and yelled until they were out of breath, then had to inhale more than they wanted. Each toss, each spin, it felt endless. So many things crashed into them, Ed caught them from his last toss, and casually tossed the trailer upside down on the ground.

From somewhere in the trailer, they heard; “I hope this convinces to leave us alone, now. And if you don’t mind returning my radio at your earliest convenience, thank you.”

Chapter Text

The trailer incident was enough to get the Kankers to leave them alone, whether it was their own choice, or their mothers decision, nobody cared. Eddward kept doing what he was doing, and with his training, took second place in a martial arts tournament. He still had problems with his parents, but his friends, made it hurt less.

“Guess you think you’re so big and bad, since you won some little karate tournament,” Kevin asked and slapped at the medal Eddward proudly displayed around his neck.

“No, I’ve never thought stuff like that, Kevin. You know that. And it wasn’t Karate.”

“I could still pound ya!”

“Yeah, I’m sure you can. It just won’t be as easy as it used to be. If you’ll excuse me, I need to be on my way.”

“Nah, we’re not done here.”

“Kevin, please… I have class. The world doesn’t revolve around you, and you don’t have any authority.”

“Too bad!”

Eddward just glared at him.

“Are you still mad about Nazz? Let it go, man! You’re dating Marie.”

“It’s not about her!”

“Whatever it is, let it go, live your own life, and be happy.”

“I’ll be happy once I beat the shit outta you!”

Kevin grabbed him by the shirt, Edd quickly grabbed both of Kevins thumbs and twisted his hand loose, a quick strike to his chest, then a knee just under his ribcage, that doubled him over.

“Cheap shots,” Kevin groaned.

“I know. Better to quickly get it over with, than play around. Kevin, just take the blessings that you have. You’re a star football player, popular, and despite Marie being a bitch, even I can admit she’s a hottie. Leave me and mine alone, lest I get fed up again. We can be friends, or nobodies.”

“Fine dude… fine…” He nodded. “You were right, though.”

“About?”

“Marie. We do have a lot in common.”

“Yeah.”

Having to deal with Sarah to hang out with his friends, Jimmy eventually saw she was a changed girl, and warmed back up to her.

“I thought we were finally getting somewhere? I’m on good meds, and I ain’t been like I used to be. I… I see how conversations sometimes stop when I show up. I thought everybody trusted me by now?”

“What? Girl, you’re trippin’! Everything’s fine.” Jimmy smiled.

“It isn’t. I feel like everybody is keeping something from me. If I’m doing something wrong, I’d like to know.”

“Is something wrong, Sarah,” Nazz asked as she walked up.

“You’re all keeping things from me. Am I doing something wrong!”

Nazz was surprised, then concerned. “No, you’re fine.”

“Then why do you all get quiet, sometimes? Even Eddy said you all do it.”

Jimmy and Nazz exchanged glances.

“There’s my Firecracker!” Eddy’s smile dropped when he saw her face. “Umm…?”

“I think we should tell them—you should,” Nazz said.

“I knew you were keeping something.”

“I am.” Jimmy grew nervous.

“Dude, we’re supposed to be friends,” Eddy stated.

“I know, I know… I was scared to tell you two.”

“You shouldn’t be afraid to tell your friends anything,” Sarah said.

“So spill it.”

“Fine. Most of it… we were… talkingaboutaguyIlike, becauseI’mgay!”

Sarah and Eddy looked at each other shocked.

“Jimmy, I already knew that,” Sarah said.

“Really‽”

“I thought you were, anyway. Did you really think I’d care about that?”

“I literally have a gay uncle,” Eddy added.

“Can you blame us,” Nazz asked.

The couple shook their heads. “No.”

“I’m sorry, but… you can’t blame me.”

“I’m gonna need to meet this guy, and make sure he’s good enough,” Sarah said. “It’s not Nat, is it?”

“God no!”

Nazz chuckled. “I’ve got news for you, Sarah; since you’re on the right meds, and stuff, you’re back on the squad, if you wanna be.”

“Really‽ Hell yes!” She hugged her.

“Can’t wait to have you back, dude!”

“Now I get to see my hot momma in a cheerleading uniform.”

“Sweetheart… you’ve seen me in it.”

“Yeah, but that was before I was your boyfriend.”

“I’ll be sure to give you a good, close look.” She flirted.

It’s been a year now, last year of middle school. Outside of the continuous issues with his parents, everything else kept him happy, everybody else kept him happy and sane. Ever since the incident with the Kankers, they aren’t sure how they got out of the trailer, or what their mom did to them, nor did they care, but the sisters decided to leave them alone. It was Nat that told Eddward that Marie demanded and begged Kevin to leave them all alone.

“A house full of teens,” Sloan sang. “I feel like the cool mom with the hang out spot.”

“You’re more than cool, miss Von Bartenschmeer,” Eddy said in a flirtatious way, as he eyed her up and down.

Sarah and Nazz both punched him.

“Oh stop! Eddy clearly has good taste in women. I’ve seen your mom, Sarah; you’ll be curvy and busty before you know it. Looks like you’re on your way, now.”

Sarah blushed. “I guess I gotta little something.”

“The pizzas should be on the way. Rolf… how come you don’t have a girlfriend?”

“Rolf? These girls at school confuse me, they know nothing of a son of a shepherd. They’re like dogs playing with donkeys… I feel as I root for truffles in a fresh plowed field.”

Although they’re used to Rolf by now, he still leaves them confused. Sloan chuckled.

“I know exactly what you mean, honey. We’re in America now, time to get with the program… just don’t forget who you are.” She placed a palm on his chest. “Things will be easier for you.”

“Moms pretty wise, Rolf,” Edd said.

“Yes… I’m seeing it now.”

“How about you, Ed? Any girl you got your mind on,” she asked.

“Yeah Ed, who you wanna ride the gravy boat of love with,” Eddy asked.

“I don’t really wanna talk about it.”

“Oh c’mon, who is it,” Eddy asked.

“Do you know, Sarah,” Nazz asked.

“Nuh-uh.” She shook her head.

“Ed, you can tell us. You’re among friends here,” Edd said.

“Yeah, buddy, spill it,” Eddy yelled.

“You guys wouldn’t understand.”

“Oh it can’t be that bad,” Edd said with a chuckle.

“I’m kinda curious, too,” Jimmy stated.

“Yeah, me too,” Sarah agreed.

“If he doesn’t want to—” Sloan started.

“Don’t be a chicken, Ed. Must be a teacher,” Eddy said.

“Not a teacher.”

“Nazz’s mom,” he teased.

“No, that’s your crush!”

“Good one, Ed.” Jimmy laughed.

“Tell us, dude! Maybe we can help out,” Nazz said.

Ed looked at her, and everybody else. “It’s… M-May,” he said barely above a whisper.

“Huh? It’s who,” Nazz asked.

“I don’t think we all caught that, Ed,” Edd said.

“May,” he repeated just as quietly, and played with his hands.

“Who,” Jimmy asked.

“Did you say Wilfred, Ed-boy?”

Eddy laughed.

“I said; May,” he yelled.

“May,” Edd and Eddy exclaimed.

“You actually like May,” Jimmy asked.

“Of all the girls, why her,” Sarah asked.

“She… she’s into comic books, kaiju stuff. I saw her at the comic book store once, and she was at the gotcha machine I was about to use. I think she’s pretty and sweet,” he explained nervously.

“You know the risk of dealing with a Kanker, right,” Rolf asked.

“I just like her, okay‽”

“Well… if you want to take the risk, who are we to judge? Most of us here has taken a risk. And so far?” Edd grabbed Nazz’s hand. “The risk was worth it.”

“It was, wasn’t it,” Eddy asked Sarah.

“Give it a shot, Ed. I’ve got your back,” Jimmy said.

“Same. And if she hurts you,” Nazz started.

“I’ll beat her with her own trailer,” Sarah threatened.

“After everything… what if she sez no?”

There was a knock on Eddward’s door, and voices behind it, before it opened.

“Dude, are you guys ready, yet?”

“I’m just putting the finishing touches on’em, Nazz. And everybody said I had no style. Whoa momma, you look great!”

Nazz giggled. “Thanks Eddy. Wait until you see Sarah. You look quite handsome.”

Eddy let her in the house, and went upstairs to get Eddward, so they can go to their eighth grade dance.

“Wait right there, and gimme a minute.”

“And they say girls take long to get ready,” Nazz joked.

“You do,” he retorted.

“Is that Nazz?”

“Yeah. Let’s get this tie together, and head out, Double Dee.”

Eddy tied the tie to his suit, gave him one last inspection, before sending him off.

“Now presenting; Sir prince Poindexter,” Eddy announced as he led Eddward downstairs.

“Double Dee,” Nazz said with a gasp.

“Why Nazz… you’re a vision of beauty!”

She chortled with embarrassment. When he reached the first floor, she met him with a curtsy, and they shared a kiss.

“You’re… re-really hand—umm… handsome.”

“Yes, Eddy really does know his stuff.”

“You’ve got her tongue tied.” Eddy nudged him.

“He’s just… he looks so good.”

“He does clean up, when he’s not wearing those dork clothes.”

“Shall we?” He held his arm out.

“Yes!” She hooked her arm. “My mom rented a party bus to take us.”

“Sweet,” Eddy exclaimed.

Eddy opened the door for them.

“Our pictures are gonna look like wedding pictures.”

“I bet if we give Rolf an alpaca, he’ll probably marry yall, Nazz,” Eddy joked.

The black bus pulled into the cul-de-sac, and parked in the middle.

“Me and Plank are ready to cut a rug,” Jonny said as he ran up.

“Looking good, Jonny, Plank,” Edd said.

“Plank asked who’s the best man.”

Nazz chortled embarrassingly again.

“Look alive, Eddy!” Jonny pointed to Sarah’s door opening.

Everybody looked that way, and Ed stepped out in a nice tuxedo.

“I do make this suit look good, huh?” He chuckled.

“Yeah. How’s it feel being clean, Lumpy,” Eddy asked. “Where’s Sarah?”

“Oh she’s coming,” Jimmy sang, from behind Ed.

“No peeking, mister!” Ed walked up and covered his eyes.

“Oh come on!”

It wasn’t long before the gasp made him itching to grab Ed’s wrist, and fling him away.

“My heavens,” Edd spoke.

Jonny wolf whistled.

“Surprise Eddy,” Sarah spoke.

Ed uncovered his eyes, and once Eddy laid eyes on her, his jaw hit the ground.

“Please wait for me guys, I gotta get May.” Ed ran off.

“Sarah… you… erm… holy shit!”

“Oh look… Eddy’s actually speechless for once,” Nazz joked.

Ed ran towards Kevin’s house, when Marie came around the back, where the busted fence was, with May in her clutches.

“You’re doing it May! You been dating him for how long, almost the whole school year?”

“I’m too nervous!”

“Hey Ed!”

Ed skidded to a stop.

“Ed?” May looked up.

“Take her before she runs away!”

“May… you’re gorgeous, like the fairy elf queen.”

“I am?”

“I did what I could, with no help from Lee, so thanks Ed. Now I gotta get my own boyfriend.” Marie pushed May towards him.

“I’m not the fairy elf queen.” May blushed.

“Yeah… you’re better.”

May squealed.

Ed held her hand, she walked nervously with him towards the others. Marie watched them, and rolled her eyes.

“May! Oh wow! Look at you, you look great,” Sarah exclaimed.

“If it wasn’t for Maries help, and… Nazz’s mom… with the dress…”

“Okay kids! Picture time,” Eddy’s mom said.

“Where’s your boyfriend,” Sarah asked.

“He’s gonna be a little late, so we’ll meet at the dance,” Jimmy explained.

They all line up in front of the bus.

“Your parents aren’t here, either, huh,” May asked Eddward.

“My parents only care about academics, when it comes to school.”

“I’m sorry, Double Dee.”

“I’ve gotten used to it.”

“Yeah… same.”

“Only four more years. Here’s to tonight, May. It’s time to be joyful and forget about that stuff for a while.”

They all loaded on the bus and went to the school. Eddward had brought a digital camera with him, that ended up passed around the bus. He thought that’s how it should be; good friends having a good time.

They were the only ones who arrived in some sense of style, the rest either made their own way, or were dropped off. The bus got many looks as everyone watched it pull up to the school, and they departed. The group found a table together and chatted, people watched. Nat was doing his fashion show thing. It wasn’t long before the girls dragged them all to the dance floor.

“Let’s get a pic!”

“Huh? You want a pic with me‽”

“Yeah!” Nazz smiled. “Don’t tell me you’re still anxious about us?”

May looked at her shoes.

“Dude! You’ve been with Ed since last fall! If he’s good, we’re good. Now c’mon, my blonde sistah!”

After a while, the girls had their shoes off, from all the fun.

“Now I remember why I hate heels,” Sarah complained.

“That’s why me and Marie wore flats.” May lifted her leg, to show her lo-top Vans.

“Speakin’ of your sisters; I just noticed a bit a go, that Lee’s not here,” Eddy said.

“Yeah, she didn’t wanna come. She couldn’t find a date, and she said she refused to be one of our third wheel. She tried to ban our boyfriends!”

“Umm… how is Marie,” Edd asked.

They all looked at him.

“You really care about your bully and abuser,” Jimmy’s boyfriend asked.

“Right, what gives,” Sarah asked.

“I’m just curious is all.”

“She’s actually pretty happy with Kevin—she even pulled some of that stick outta his ass. She doesn’t gang up on me with Lee anymore, now we’re on the same team!”

“They like to make out in front of Lee,” Ed added.

“That’s kinda funny,” Eddy said.

“I just want to make sure things aren’t too bad for you at home, is all,” Edd explained.

“Ehh… let’s just enjoy ourselves,” May said.

“Right. My feet are killing me, but I’m having too much fun!”

“How about I rub your cute lil feet on the ride back,” Eddy offered.

“Oh! I can rub yours, too, May,” Ed added.

“That sounds great, Sweetheart,” Sarah said.

“My feet don’t hurt, though.”

Jimmy gently kicked her under the table.

“Well… they might end up hurting,” she added.

“You’ll love it, anyway,” Jimmy said in her ear.

“I can’t wait to rub something else,” his boyfriend teased.

“Mmm… me neither.”

“Huh? What are you guys talking about,” May asked.

“Oh wow,” Nazz said with wide eyes, as her head arced in another direction.

“What are they rubbing,” May asked.

“Really‽ You’re the first of us,” Eddy exclaimed.

“The first of what, Eddy,” Ed asked.

“For once I agree with Eddy, well… actually I’m half way surprised he wasn’t the first,” Edd explained.

“What are you guys talking about? What’s so important about a massage,” May asked.

“Oh, it’s the best kinda massage, two people can really get close,” his boyfriend explained.

“What kinda—” Sarah gasped. “Jimmy!”

Eddy laughed. “Took ya long enough, babe!”

Jimmy laughed. “So none of you… ya know?” He twisted his open hand.

“No, I still don’t know,” May shouted.

“Me niether,” Ed spoke.

We’re about to be in high school, by then everybody’s gonna be doing it, anyway. That’s not why I do it. I got curious, we really like each other, and it was worth it,” Jimmy explained.

“Shit! I wanna do it, too! I’ve thought about doing it!”

Sarah pinched his arm, with a look.

“With you, obviously… when you—ya know… wanna do it too. I’m not out there lookin’ for it!”

Nazz leaned to May, and Eddward leaned to Edward to explain what everybody knew. Ed looked like he was shot, May gasped with wide eyes.

“Maybe we will… after graduation, just don’t push me,” Sarah said.

“I mean; no… of course not, I’d never,” Eddy said.

“Sarah no,” Ed shouted.

“Oooh! That kinda massage,” May realized.

Eddward and Nazz laughed.

“Kevin and Marie been doing that.”

“Babe,” Nazz sung. “If you ever wanna, I’d be down. I’ve kinda… wanted to, but rule is not until at least high school. No pressure.”

“I suppose we could give it the ‘ol college try. I gotta admit, Nazz; with some of your outfits… there is indeed quite a pressure.”

All the boys, but Edward, with Nazz, laughed.

“None of that for my baby sister!”

“Oh yeah‽ What about for you, huh,” she snapped.

“Umm… what? Me? I umm,” his voice trailed off and he played with his fingers.

“Since you hafta wait until high school, why don’t we make it a double date,” Eddy asked Nazz and Eddward.

They both stared at him.

He burst out laughing. “I’m kidding! That’s one thing us Ed’s don’t need to do together.”

“Big Ed… I’ll show you what you’re missin’ out on. We can see how big you really are, after the dance,” May flirted.

“If you get to… I get to.” Sarah glared.

Ed scowled. He had never even thought about it before, and now Sarah wants it too.

“I’ll find out, you know I will.”

Ed just sighed.

“Yay,” May and Sarah cheered.

“Gender bias ain’t cool, dude,” Nazz said.

“I know.”

“That’s my jam,” Jimmy yelled and jumped up to the sound of the R&B song.

“Mine too!” Nazz grabbed Eddward.

The way Nazz danced with him, the more he thought to curse her countries traditions.

By the end of eighth grade, the group were all new people, Eddward had really valued where his life had went, with or without his parents approval, he’ll just let them believe it’s all just angsty rebellion, it kinda was, at least a modicum of it. That the life he was headed to grew more and more a distant memory. By the end of summer, and the beginning of ninth grade, the boys felt like men. Eddward was patient, having had no real desire for that specific intimacy, most of his life, he figured what was a few more months?  Respect for Nazz’s ethnic traditions, or her moms wishes, were more important, so being the last, wasn’t a big deal. He could tell that Nazz, herself wanted to, now that she was with somebody that raised her desire, instead of her ire.

“Is that a beard I see coming in,” Nazz asked.

“It is indeed,” he replied as they walked in the hallway.

“Manly!”

“I suppose our hormones have been supercharged, since we’ve begun our… extracurricular activities,” he joked.

Nazz laughed. “That means these should be getting bigger.”

Eddward chuckled.

They made their way to the cafeteria for breakfast, and spoke in her mother tongue, as he was now practically fluent in it. They didn’t mind the stares, it was a way for them to have a private conversation in public, as long as Rolf wasn’t around.

“You two are still on cloud nine, huh?” Jimmy stood in front of them in the cafeteria line.

“I guess the thrill hasn’t worn off yet,” Nazz answered in her own language.

“Not that we’re complaining,” Edd added in her language.

“I’m sorry, what was that? I can’t eavesdrop, if you aren’t speaking English,” Nat said behind them.

“Oh, sorry,” she said with a chuckle. “The thrill hasn’t worn off yet.”

“And we aren’t complaining,” Edd repeated.

“So you two finally…” Nat used a hand motion to symbolize sex.

They looked at each other and gave him a knowing smile.

“I must’ve lost my touch between school years. Congratu-fucking-lations!”

Both blushed.

“There’s the late bloomers,” May joked.

“At least we’ve been humble about it. Now Eddy… how long is he going to strut around, like a cock on the walk,” Edd replied.

“Yeah, and I wasn’t trying to hear all about it,” Ed added.

“Right‽”

They heard a scoff behind them.

“Great, we’re behind them,” Marie complained.

“Oh shut up, Marie!” May turned. “Stop being so petty, we’re in high school now. We’re all just trying to live our lives and be happy. It’s actually nice having friends, and not just the two of you to hang out with all day, every day, or Kevin… who doesn’t even like me. Grow up.”

“Whoa,” was all Kevin said.

“We usually get along, but I’m not gonna keep puttin’ up with you dissing my friends.”

“Fine,” Marie snapped and rolled her eyes with a scoff.

“Unless ya like being stuck with Lee, and her caterwaulin’?”

“Jeez, no. Maybe one of these Lemon Brook kids’ll date her,” Kevin said.

After breakfast, they all made their way to first period.

“I think high school won’t be as tame as middle school, especially with Lemon Brook. We might not be at the top, anymore,” Nazz stated.

Edd looked thoughtfully, and shrugged. “Being the best is overrated. There are far more important things.”

“Hey! Look at that nerd hit on that hot chick,” Somebody yelled.

“Dude really thinks he gotta chance,” another said.

“She’s way outta your league!”

“Dawg, who carries a messenger bag‽”

After looking around, Nazz sighed and rolled her eyes.

“She’s not hearing it, nerd, look at her,” another said.

“Am I out of your league,” Nazz asked and stood with a hand on her hip.

“There’s only one way to find out.”

Eddward pulled her close by the hip, bent down to plant his lips on hers, his hand slipped to her butt, she held his neck, with his free hand on her back, he dipped her. The onlookers grew quiet.

“Oh baby,” Nazz gasped when the kiss was done.

“Excuse the bit of bravado, darling.” He turned to the rest. “Sure I’m a nerd, and she’s a hot cheerleader… but she’s my hot cheerleader. I hope I don’t need to remind you gentlemen a second time.”

“Mmm… babe, it’s fine. That goes for you ladies, too. My man’s off limits. Walk me to class?”

“Certainly.” He smiled. “It may not be tame at all, but they’ll learn.”

“You’re a great teacher.” She giggled.

Eddward took Nazz’s arm, and walked her to class, while the rest were speechless.