Chapter Text
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She would never forget.
Smoke.
Ringing.
Clamour.
Dizzy.
And most of all,
The sickening blisters and the blinding amount of red that coated her best friend’s body.
Bitter blame would weigh down on Julie for the rest of her days.
“6 injured in what seems to be an act of arson involving LaSalle High School. The building is completely destroyed, the fire leaving nothing behind. Miraculously, staff performed an emergency evacuation before the fire became deadly. County police are actively investigating and searching for the culprit. Further details posted below. If you have any information on the incident or the person responsible, please contact the number below.”
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“Dear Parents and Guardians,
As a result to the tragic events that have occurred involving the school building, the district is working hard to reroute your children to various schools across the community and the city of Montreal. We are very sorry for the inconvenience and we wish the best for your children in their future educational journey.
Respectfully,
Mr. Weathers
Former Principal of LaSalle High School”
Julie’s eyes lingered on the email, a long sigh through her nose before she turned off her phone. So-called “fresh starts” were always all-the-more suffocating.
—
An echo rung in her ears.
“Julie?” A female voice called.
She jolted up, taking in her surroundings. And it felt as if the ground had caved under her feet.
She was back. The painstakingly familiar scent of smoke put its hands around her throat and strangled her. The open door framed the sight of burning hallways. Crackles and screams filled her ears.
Julie abandoned the classroom, ignoring the call of her teacher from behind. She needed to run. Needed to be anywhere else but here. She had no control over her lower body anymore, panting as she stumbled across the halls in desperate need of solitude. Julie’s chest throbbed, from the thickness of the air or of her own fear she couldn’t tell. Her vision blurred, tears on the verge of spilling and imaginary grey tinting the world.
Please not now, she prayed.
Knees quaking, she had reached a bathroom on the other side of the building. She stumbles her way into a stall and closes it behind her, her back against the stall wall as she let herself crumble in private.
How pathetic, she thought to herself. Sprinting to the bathroom because her teacher called her name? She would be teased for days, for sure. (Not like ridicule was irregular, wherever she went nowadays. A british teen in a world full of Canadians, it was like they’d never taken a Social Studies class in their lives.)
Julie Reyes-Lilith was never a vulnerable heart. In fact, some who really knew her would call her confident and witty. Though she avoided social contact with most, it never meant she was timid. She was only careful, cautious of what she would allow spill to even the dearest people she knew. But right now? The defensive walls she’d put up were torn down like ripping paper, and she loathed how naked she felt.
Someone else called for her this time, a different voice, a tone, soft and comforting. Julie tried to recall the familiarity.
The voice approached, words filling the empty space between her and the girl on the other side, something about ‘everything being okay’ and ‘safety.’ Julie’s ears rung too much for her to make the girl’s words eligible, the screech of a fire alarm lingering in her senses. “Get out, p-please..” Julie managed to choke out before her throat betrayed her. She slid down the stall wall, reaching the ground and pulling her knees up to her chin. Dried tears stained her cheeks.
Now she remembered. Kayla was the girl’s name. They were in the same class, the one Julie had walked out of just a few minutes ago. She had a memorable look, with her wavy brown hair and forest-like eyes and freckles that adorned the bridge of her nose.
A shadow and Nikes creeped incredibly slowly to the door, finally stopping at the tiling just before the unlocked door.
“..’m coming in, Julie.”
The hinges creaked as the brunette pushed the door open. Julie didn’t dare look up, afraid of letting Kayla see the rawness that she couldn’t hide anymore. 2 steps before she crouched down and sat next to Julie, mirroring her position.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
Julie stared into the dirty gaps in the tiled floor, looking for some kind of way to escape through them. A hand rested on her shoulder, the sudden burst of heat sending electricity through her bones.
(She didn’t want to acknowledge that the electricity could’ve been charged with something else.)
Julie tended to be incredibly reserved, keeping quiet about anything and everything regarding herself. Shutting people out and shutting down if she shared even a tad too much to her liking. It was a trademark, a trait that most only knew her because of it. So when she felt so drawn to tell this girl she barely knew, what had been plaguing her thoughts for the past what, 2 weeks? It felt so right and so wrong, and Julie was fucking puzzled.
“I thought..” Julie finally started, iterating the words so quietly you would’ve thought any louder and her vocal cords would give out.
“You thought..?” Kayla whispered back, not wanting to push any further. She tilted her head down, emphasizing her stare. Her brows knit together in concern. Kayla noticed the uncomfortable tremble of the raven’s hands, pulling her own off of Julie’s shoulder. (The room suddenly felt a lot colder for Julie.)
The raven stretched her legs across the floor, palms resting on the tiles at her sides. After seconds of silence, Julie sighed shakily, tears threatening to spill once again.
“I thought I was back there. At my old school, in the fire.” She searched Kayla’s widening, dim eyes for judgement, for any kind of negative emotion. Julie ended up with nothing.
Kayla’s eyebrows furrowed, she looked at the ground, lost in thought. Then, they rested above her eyes comfortably. “I know how you feel. I haven’t been in a fire, but I know what it’s like.” A pause. “To feel like everything’s your fault.” Julie’s shoulders loosened at that, she lets out a relieved sigh.
She understands, Julie recognizes.
A soft hum from Julie, not pushing for any details. She would thank Kayla after her emotions were somewhat regular.
Her heart still throbbed, the grazing of her nails over her forearm unable to get rid of the underlying layer of regret under her skin. The scratching slowed to a halt, then her hand rested on her thigh.
“It was like,” The raven paused. “like everything was fine one second then everything came crashing down the next. I was there, it was so real. The smoke, the ringing, the ashes, the yelling, I didn’t- I couldn’t-“
“Julie!”
Julie’s hands practically vibrated as Kayla took hold of them with her own. The former looked up from the intertwining, blurs of tan and brown overwhelming her vision.
“Start from the beginning.”