Chapter Text
I look down at my fingers, freshly painted a crimson hue. I don't feel bad, but on the other hand, I don't feel too good either. I laugh. She looks the best she had in years, maybe even her whole life. I'm kneeled over her corpse, her head propped up against the bloodstained couch. It was old anyways. Her body is horribly dismembered, her internal organs on full display. I try to pipe down the feelings of pride bubbling up in my chest. I am terrible. Do I care? I don't know.
I stand up and realize how messy I'd gotten. My clothes are soaked in the mixture of our blood from the neck down. She put up a fight, that's for sure. I squint to make sure she isn't breathing and decide to deliver a final few stomps to her skull. I raise my foot above her face and slam down, feeling the satisfying crunch of what I assume is her nose shattering on impact with my boot. I raise my foot again. There isn't a nice sound this time, I'm mildly disappointed. I muster a final pound and take a few steps to really see my work. I'm like some high-end artist in a way. I think about this for a moment. No, I'm not, fuck that.
Feeling a little chilly, I decide its best to put on the gloves and oversized parka I'd dropped by the entrance before I leave the shitty trailer. I open the door and am met with the almost overwhelming sound of silence. My mother had been living just a mile off the nearest neighborhood in the mobile trailer she'd dumped in a clearer part of the woods. No one should have heard her struggle, I'll be okay. I tighten my ponytail before stuffing my hands into my pockets and taking the long route back to my place, praying less people will see me that way. My gloved fingers wrap around a scrap of paper I'd written my plans on before this whole situation. I don't think I'll be getting to the second half of the plan any time soon, no one really knew my mother anyways; she didn't have friends or go to work everyday. Hell, her coworkers will probably assume she'd quit or taken another job that required less effort. I won't be killing myself just yet, not until the cops catch on. I don't think I could take going to jail, they'd probably make me cut my hair. I instinctively fix my bangs before shoving my hands back in my pockets
My eyes land back on the trailer one last time before leaving the clearing. I don't remember where we'd been living before we moved to this bum-fuck town in Colorado. She'd took me away after my father decided 5 years too late that he didn't want kids and ran off to live with "some slut", as my mother called her. She could be funny sometimes, I think. I rub my nose; it's exceptionally cold out tonight and I made the smart decision not to check the weather before I left to do my business. I stuff my hair in the back of my parka and pull my hood over my head, which makes it basically impossible for me to see anything that isn't eye-level, but less likely to freeze to death. The woods aren't too dark yet. I'll probably be able to get back to my place safe and sound without anyone noticing.
Its one of those limbo times; the times where everyone had already gotten back from work and only stragglers and folks working late shifts were still out and about. I tug my hood down a little more after the wind decides to slap me in the face with a gust of freezing air. I start to see streetlights shining through the foliage and as I walk closer and closer I realize I've found myself at the gas station a few blocks from my place. I try to stay behind the trees; what if they have cameras and catch my ratty looking ass sneaking out from the woods? That would not look good on my part whatsoever. After making it closer to the neighborhood I shuffle out from behind the trees and make the quick walk to where I've been staying for the past year and a half. I can't believe I am almost twenty, it feels like just yesterday when I had met this nervous young man who had asked me for directions to the nearest convenience store.
I've been paying to live in Lennon's spare room ever since my mother decided it was "time for me to become an adult" and kicked me off her couch. Lennon is a nice guy, his parents had saved up money for college since he'd been a baby, so he's been going off to some relatively good university about 20 minutes away during the day. I pull my spare key out from under a rock and get in as quietly as I can. I push the door shut and take off my boots before padding off to my room with them in hand. The house is quaint, much better than the trailer. Two bedrooms, one bathroom, nothing special. I make sure to close my door before flicking on the lights and peeling off all my sullied clothes.
"Shit," I groan quietly. "I'm gonna have to toss these..."
I inspect the inside of my parka before deciding it's clean enough to keep and putting it on my bed. The rest of them though? For sure in the trash. I might try to wash up the boots if I have the time, but the rest is done for. I put the dirty clothes in a plastic bag from the market and push it off to the side for tomorrow. For now, all I care about is putting on some clothes and going to bed.