Work Text:
“What age can children bathe on their own” was not a search that 007n7 ever envisioned himself looking up. In the past, he would have snickered at the mere thought of such searches cluttering his digital footprint, unless, of course, he had taken up babysitting. Who would entrust such a responsibility to him? Yet, the nearing four years spent raising his- this red child had rewritten that narrative entirely.
Amongst the countless searches made in the depths of his Internet history were odd questions like, “Red skin on baby meaning”, “best food for pill babies ranked”, and “How to get child to stop crying after three days”. These were just snippets of the overwhelming sea of questions that had defined his parenting (could it even be called that?) journey.
The Internet had provided him a rough guideline: children could typically handle a bath solo around six or eight years old. He knew it was wrong, but after running on 'E' for several days 07's tired brain could barely wait for those years to arrive. The thought alone prompted a resigned sigh from him as he adjusted his glasses and swept a hand through his dusty brown hair. Four years. I've been at this for four years. 07 rose from the couch and glanced over at the muddy red child who was currently gnawing on his hair, having presumably taken one of his pigtails out.
To 007n7, c00lkidd was like a sort of curious housecat—small, yet remarkably apt at steering his surroundings. Alive , if he could put it. At just two years old, c00lkidd was already showing a fierce desire for independence. He had already learned how to walk without 07's help, now his features had sprouted remarkably, (“is rapid growth normal for babies?” “ are horns normal for children?”), and the phrase “I can do it myself!” had become a frequent phrase for the 'kidd. Yet, amidst this growing independence, or growing in general , there was an undeniable swell of pride within 07 whenever c00lkidd would pause, seeking his help with wide, expectant eyes.
Parenting, if 07 could even call it that, felt like just another addition to his balancing act of life—one that forced him to juggle the demands of a child, the admin hunts, the ongoing search for employment, and his exploiting gig lingering in the shadows. One element of this chaotic dance would have to give. Was surrendering his hacks dear sleep really an option?
A deep breath accompanied by a brief shake of his head forced his racing thoughts to the background. It was time to refocus on the matter at hand: tackling the task of washing this little red demon. Or did he truly need to?
“Think you can handle bath time by yourself, ‘kidd? That mud’s not going to wash out on its own.” C00lkidd stopped his playful chewing and looked up with pitch-black eyes, piercing through 07's momentary hesitation. But the radiant grin that spread across c00lkidd’s face melted away any lingering doubt.
“I can do it, papa!” He beamed with a gap-toothed smile, shooting up from the floor and darting towards the bathroom. While bath time was usually one of his less favored activities, the chance of getting to do it all by himself outweighed that entirely. Giggling to himself, he slammed the door behind him, an echoing sound that filled 07 with a rush of temporary regret.
“It’s fine, he can handle it on his own,” 07 reassured himself, leaning back against the couch as the muffled sound of rushing water enveloped him. Drowsiness began to creep in once more, tugging at his eyelids. Five minutes, five minutes and I'll be back... one-hundred percent...
Meanwhile, in the bathroom, c00lkidd’s tail flicked playfully side to side as he rummaged through the cabinet beneath the sink. His small clawed fingers searched eagerly for the vibrant blue bubbly soap that his dad always used. A wicked laugh escaped him as he discovered it. Gonna add extra this time! He snickered to himself, twisting open the cap and flipping the bottle upside down, an overflow of delightful soapy liquid pouring into the tub. He tossed in his favorite bath toy as well, a spunky yellow rubber ducky with the paint coming off.
As c00lkidd went to swish his hands in the bubbly water, it's icy chill shot up his limbs, sending sickening shivers up his arms. Twitching with discomfort, he shook his claws off as much as he could with disgusted chitters. He glanced at the other, warmer faucet, realizing it was just out of reach and would need him to step fully into the bathtub—an idea he found less than appealing. With a grumble, he put on a brave face and stretched his little body as far as it would go, fingers brushing the cold porcelain edge.
07 was jolted awake by the sound of c00lkidd’s distorted shriek, a surge of dread making his heart plummet. Bleary-eyed, his mind still fogged by sleep, he leapt off the couch—more like fell —and scrambled for his glasses.
“C00LKIDD! Are you okay?!”
“Uhh, yeah, papa!” c00lkidd's little voice rang out. At the sound of his son’s the child's reassurance 07 could finally breathe again, an instant wave of relief crashing over him. He let out a sharp breath, his body settling back into the worn cushions of the old couch and feeling himself sink once more.
“Great… let m’ know if you need anyth’n, ‘kidd.”
With the now scalding hot water, c00lkidd couldn't hide his mischievous look behind bubbles. The Jaws theme played in his imagination as he rose from the soapy depths with a playful roar, eyes zeroing in on the rubber ducky that barely floated.
“I’m gonna eat you!!” he grinned, pouncing on the rubber ducky and swishing it through the water as soon as it surfaced. Mimicking the sound of his favorite creature, the Drakobloxxer, he splashed around the (possibly overflowing) tub, accidentally tossing water out and onto the tiled floor.
The second time 007n7 awoke from his nap was the last. A dull throb pulsed through his head alongside the lingering feeling of close hands that were never really there. With a weary stretch, he reached for his glasses resting on the coffee table. 07 adjusted them carefully on his face, squinting slightly as the light flooded back into his vision, gradually remembering the time that passed since he had checked on c00lkidd. Too much time.
Slumping his shoulders, he let the weight of the moment wash over him. The incessant sound of flowing water interrupted the silence of the room, an irritating reminder that something still needed attention. Why is the faucet still running...? His thoughts trailed off as realization dawned on him. Oh. Shit.
07 wouldn’t claim he sprinted to the bathroom door, but he certainly arrived there faster than he ever did in his college days. The new soggy feeling in his socks almost made him recoil before he lifted a hand to knock on the door.
“Hey, c00lkidd?” he called out, “you done in there yet?”
Panic surged through c00lkidd’s mind as he shivered anxiously, the close echo of his dad's voice snapping him out of his play mode. He quickly slinked out of the bathtub, heart racing as he realized the mess unfolding around him. The faucet continued to run, completely ignored in the child's frantic state. His hair was soaked and only adding onto the way-more-than-a-puddle on the floor.
“Nonononono! Oh, he’s gonna be so mad at meee!!” he whimpered. Eyes darting around the room, he snatched a towel from the nearest rack and tossed it onto the floor, desperately hoping it would soak up at least some of the water. The thought of facing his dad’s disappointed glare filled him with dread as he scrambled to contain the mess.
“I’m coming in, okay?”
“NO, DON’T!!” Opening the door was a move that both 007n7 and c00lkidd would come to regret, as a wave of water and frothy bubbles surged forth and flooded whatever surface it could cover. They both stood frozen in shock, the wooden floors—already damaged from previous tenants—was a new disaster that 07 could not afford to fix anytime soon.
07 gripped at his hair and mouth in one swift motion, spinning around to stifle the curses that threatened to spill from him. With a heavy sigh, he glanced back, locking eyes with c00lkidd, pale brown meeting teary-filled black.
"...c00lkidd."
“I’M SORRYYYYYYYYYY!”
“Hey, 'kidd I’m not mad–”
“YES YOU AREEE!!” A groan.
10:26PM, the child was tucked in bed hours ago and sleeping soundly, 007n7 lazily typed into the computer’s blue internet screen.
“Will water damage affect my rent”
A tired sigh.