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Semi Eita is not numb. He still has feelings, he still has sympathy for himself and other people, he still loathes himself or Shirabu, and he still has an urge to dunk Satori in the snow whenever he initiates snowball fights; Eita is still himself. He hasn't changed or anything.
Though there was an odd feeling in his chest when his last volleyball match in high school happened. He didn't understand how the fallen heroes who rose from the concrete defeated Shiratorizawa. They had no records of ever being a powerhouse school ever since the 'Little Giant' entered college several years ago. If anything, he prefers to be beaten by of all schools, Aoba Johsai. At least Wakatoshi saw potential in their setter, Eita thinks.
There was not much that Eita could do but watch as his opponents cheer after their victory. He felt tears rolling down his cheeks, Eita immediately wiped them off with his sleeve but they kept on coming and coming. Before he knew it, he let out a small whine and started crying.
Even Shirabu was crying; Eita would've laughed if the situation was different, but unfortunately, he couldn't. Not in this situation.
He cradles his face; he was in no place to cry. For one, unlike Shirabu, he didn't get to play any full sets. But why was he crying?
Ah right.
His final year in Shiratorizawa, at least he wouldn't have to see Shirabu again.
He felt a hand on his back, "come on, we have to line up," Wakatoshi says, his voice perfectly composed. Eita nods and follows the rest of his teammates, his head lowered.
After thanking their supporters and shaking hands with Karasuno - more like acknowledging their victory of them and hear baldy and their libero boast -, they began their penalty serves.
By the time they were done; Eita was exhausted. Washijou yelled at him the earlier for the poor excuse of a serve during the game and the penalty. Reon gave him an apologetic smile and offered him carrot juice. Satori ruffles his hair, but Eita wasn't in the mood for it so he grabbed Satori's wrist and licked it. The other screeched in disgust.
"Eita-kun?" he hears Satori call him when Eita reaches the gym door. "You hanging up?" Satori sounded concerned about him. Though Semi had stopped crying since their coach made them do penalty serves.
"Hah?" Eita fakes a smug smile, "aren't you a little too late to ask that, Satori?" Eita hoped Satori didn't see through him.
"You are a horrible liar, Eita-kun."
Dammit.
"Now tell me what's on your mind today," Satori drags him into a quieter spot outside the gym. Eita begrudgingly lets himself be pulled away. "Now that we have privacy, so what's up?"
"We lost to some lowly school."
Satori shook his head, "now, now, don't be like that. Karasuno isn't such a bad school. The players are kinda neat too; did you see the glasses kid? He's a tough cookie. Or that shrimp? Now he's an interesting player," he says. "Even Wakatoshi-kun acknowledges that."
"Hah," Eita breathes out, "I guess they aren't that bad..."
"So, what's up?" Satori asks again.
Eita raises a brow, "didn't I just tell you?"
"Again, you're a horrible liar, Eita!"
Eita sighs, "sometimes I really hate the fact that you're an observant person." He looks at Satori in the eyes; his usual mischievous or menacing look disappears into a concerned face, accompanied with a small smile. It took him a while to realize that Satori was sincere when he said Eita was lying. "Do you...really want to know?"
"Yeah," he replies.
"I'm...jealous of Shirabu."
"Like we all don't know that."
"No! I mean..." Eita bites his lower lip, "today was our last match with each other as a team. Who knows where will we all go once we enter college? I wanted to set for the team...I wanted to have a huge role in our last match as one the only third years left. I felt like that little runt took it away from me. I just thought maybe I could have made the team win against Karasuno."
Satori frowns, somewhat not expecting Eita to actually tell him, "no offense Eita, but our intention in playing against other schools is to win. We don't know if a match could be our last one along the way, don't blame Shirabu for this," Satori says, "but then again, you're much better as a setter than a pinch server."
"Hey."
"Kidding, kidding," Satori giggles, "now if-"
"It doesn't matter that we don't know if it was our last match or not. Ever since that kid got here, coach's attention was all on him and before I knew it, he called me out of the match and he subbed me out. And after that, I was no longer in the starting team. You want honesty? I hate Shirabu! He's got skills yeah, but what made him think he can waltz in and take my-"
Satori interrupts with a kiss. Eita stares blankly until he realizes what was going on and his cheeks went red, but he still manages to shut up unlike usual.
Satori finally pulls away with a smile, Eita looking back at him, embarrassed. "You were talking too much, Eita-kun."
"I..." Eita looks away, "...yeah."
Satori snickers at him, "your face is all red, Eita."
"Sh-Shut up"
Satori leans in closer, "what was that? Didn't hear ya' there," he puts his palm behind his ear. If only it was snowing, Satori's head would be deep in the snow right now.
"Did I stutter?" Eita challenges.
"Actually, you did."
"You're a horrible person, Satori," Eita deadpans.
Satori chuckles and puts his arm around Eita's shoulders, "just promise me that you'll give Shirabu mercy for the rest of our last year. Let him have his time to shine as a captain. The future of Shiratorizawa is going to be okay."
"Would you take the blame when he gets a snowball to his face?"
"Eh. Sure."