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He has been living in El Paso for a few months and he hates it, not all of it obviously, things with Christoper are going great, they have been going to therapy together, to help process Shannon’s death.
He also gets to see Abuela and his sisters, but he misses his job, his fire family and he misses Buck, even if they talk everyday.
He is also starting to regret getting a fixer upper; even if that’s the only thing he could afford, it has been hard doing it alone, he wishes he had a support system like in LA, but here he can’t, specially with his noisy parents, that seem to think asking for help is a sign of weakness or something.
He is in his backyard, watching Chris’s play with his cousins and aunts, he has been video calling with Buck for a while when he hears the alarm and he has to hang up.
Adriana leaves the group to sit beside him, grabbing a water bottle from the backyard cooler.
“They have so much energy goodness!” She laughs, drinking half of the water bottle in one sitting.
“Yeah and this heat does not help”
“You will get use to it again” she says, event though she does not sound certain. “So… who where you talking to?” she ask’s with a weird smile on her face. And it has been a while since they have seen each other, so he is not sure how to read it.
“Just Buck, but he had to run, got a call at work”
“You guys are pretty close”
“Yeah, I mean he is my best friend” he says a bit defensive.
“I am just saying, you guys talk like a lot.”
He is not sure how to answer that, and he does not have to, because Sofi decides to sit on his other side and say “So… are we talking about the Buck crush?” and his brain just shuts down for a minute.
“Sofia! I was trying to be subtle, look at him you broke him!” And he does not feel broken but is like his world has been put on pause even if he can still see Chris playing and his sister talking over each other.
“What are you two on about?” He asks, because he doesn’t know what else to say.
“Eddie, give me your phone” Sofia has his phone in her hand before she finishes the sentence, and put his password in.
“How do you even know my password?” Sofi ignores him, but Adri says “It’s obviously Chris birthday, you are such an old man.”
“Fuck off” he says with no heat, pushing her to the side.
“OMG what is this Edmundo? Were you on a call for 8 hours? It’s worse than I thought” Sofia she says, looking at Adri.
“hahaha no way, what were you even doing?”
“Barbacoa”
They both laugh at him “is it what they call it these days?” Sofia manages to say between laughs.
“You guys are gross”
“And you are such an innocent baby, how are you our big brother again?” He ignores them.
“Ok, sorry sorry, it’s just… you guys talk like every day, and not just call, but face time for hours, and I know you miss LA, but I think you miss more than that, you just haven’t looked at it because everything else with Chris’s and the move.” Adri says, with a sad smile.
“We just want you to be happy brother”
“I don’t, I…” but he has no words, one thing his sisters are right about is that he has not stopped to think, not beyond getting Christoper back, but if he thinks about it, even tough Chris’s lives with him now, he still feels something is missing, their house does not feel like a home, and maybe is not because they are not in LA, but because someone is missing from it. And not even hours of video calls end up feeling that void.
“Fuck” he feels like crying, scratch that, he is crying. His sisters don’t say anything else, just hug him. He is not sad, just confused, hopeful, scared. He left, and even if something were to happen between them he is not sure he can go back, not without Chris. But he can’t deny the void, now that he knows what it means.
“How am I even going to talk to him again? I can't keep secrets from him, he is my best friend, oh God.” He rubs one of his hands on his forehead.
“Dad?” He looks up to see a confused Chris. “Are you ok? Do you want to talk about it?” He as tentatively.
And he cannot lie to his son anymore, but he also can´t tell him, his brain has too many thoughts.
“I will be ok, and we will talk about it but just not right now, I don’t think I am ready is that ok?”
“Yeah Dad, we can talk later” he says with a smile, he does not know what he did to deserve such a great kid.
“Do you guys want to come inside?” Adri asks “we can cut some fruit and I can make limonada so you guys don’t get dehydrated”
“Sure, thanks tía” his sisters stand up to enter the house, Chris grabs his arm “I love you Dad” he sounds apologetic as if the reason he was crying is because of him. “I love you too mijo, this has nothing to do with you”.
“Ok Dad” he goes inside the house with the rest of the kids. Adri and Sofi take over the conversation, maintaining the kids entertained before they leave them in the living room to watch a movie.
“I am sorry if we were too forward” Adri starts, handling him a beer “we just want to see you happy brother, you always made sure we were when we were kids, we just want the same for you” he hugs her.
“I am glad I got to see you guys again, we should hang out more often” at that moment Sofi decides to bear hug them, almost making them all fall. “I love you guys too, don’t keep me out!” They laugh.
The afternoon goes on like that, is easy to not thinking about stuff you don’t what to think about, he is pretty good at repressing his feelings apparently.
⋆⋅☆⋅⋆
“I talked to Buck” Chis says out of nowhere, he has been trying to fix a door all afternoon with little success “Don’t be mad”
Eddie looks at him confused “Why will I be mad? It’s Buck”
“Mmm I asked him… hypothetically” Eddie nods, encouraging him to continue “if we decided to move back to LA soon, if he would let us stay with him at our old house”
“Oh” this is the last thing he expected “you want to go back?”
“Aren’t you curios what buck said?” Chis ask smiling, Eddie smiles back “I mean Chris, I don’t think Buck is able to say no to you, specially since he misses you so much”
“He misses you too Dad”
“I know mijo, I miss him too”
“So you think we could do it? Go back? I am sorry you came here for me I know you miss your friends and being a firefighter” Chis is avoiding his eyes,
“Hey Chris no, no, look at me” he grabs him by the shoulders “I love you so much, being with you is worth everything, no matter were we are as long as we are together ok?”
“I know, I love you Dad” Chis hugs him, and God he is so tall now. “I love you too” he says, kissing the top of his head.
“Is this really something you want?, I would have to sell this house, and we will be tight on money, and we can’s stay with Buck forever”
“Why not?” Chis ask’s and it sounds so innocent for a 14 year old, Eddies heart starts beating faster, he wishes it could be like that, but he is pretty sure things will change when they talk about Eddie’s feelings, in what direction he has no idea. He must have been stuck on his reverie because Chris says “Dad?”
He might as well tell him now “lets go to the sofa” they sit facing each other.
“Remember the other day when your tías came to visit?, that you saw me crying” he nods.”Well they helped me realize something, I mm….” God he is nervous “I am in love with Buck” Chis just stares at him for a while, no surprise or annoyance or anger. He gives him a minute to process.
“Does he know?” he finally asks
“No, I haven’t talk to him about that”
“But you guys talk a lot” Eddie laughs.
“yeah, I have been told that”
“Why haven’t you?”
“I want to have the conversation in person”
“That makes sense”
“Are you ok with this?”
“Will you get married again?” the question takes him by surprise “I don’t even know if he likes me back mijo” Chris just gives him a look.
“Hypothetically, if he says yes”
“I would think so yeah, I know he wants to get married and have kids”
“I will have a brother or sister?” his eyes light up and then adds “Hypothetically of course” Eddie smiles “Yes, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves ok?, If you are sure about going back to LA there’s lots of things to be done, and your grandparent might not be happy about it”
“I don’t care what they think, I am sure Dad, I miss LA, I want to go back home”
“I will figure it out then”
⋆⋅☆⋅⋆
He is nervous, he has managed to act normal when they FaceTime, but he feels like he is going to crumble when they finally met in person again, Chris just looks at him with a hopeful smile.
“Come on Dad! Buck is waiting we can unpack later” and so they get out of the car, Eddie has keys for the house, Buck insisted for him to keep them and he told them they could use it to let themselves in.
He opens the door and Chris pushes him aside to enter, he knows that they have been in contact without him, but he is happy to see how exited his son is to see Buck again. Chris goes to the kitchen where they can hear faint music.
By the time he enters the kitchen Buck has Chris in his arms, lifting him from the ground with the force of it. They are both smiling and Eddie’s heart has never beaten so fast or felt so full. He is probably smiling like an idiot in love.
Buck looks at him with a radiant smile, and he is not sure how is he still standing, his knees feel weak. He manages to smile back. After Buck puts Chris down he goes to him and hugs him too, and it feels surreal to finally hold each other after months of talking through a screen, Buck smells nice, and his shirt is so soft, God he is a goner, how is he going to survive the night?
They let go, Buck goes back to the food, Eddie starts setting up the table, and just like that they are back on their old routine.
⋆⋅☆⋅⋆
“So what’s with you?” Buck asks, once they have finished dinner and Chris has gone to his room.
“What do you mean?” He tries to sound normal, but Buck just gives him a look.
“You have been weird for a while, I haven’t been wanting to say anything, Chris told me you weren’t ready to talk about it, and its fine if you still are not… I just wanted to ask.” He says shyly.
They are standing in the middle of the kitchen facing each other the pink light of the afternoon filters through the window and Eddie just stares at Buck, he looks beautiful and knows he won’t be able to keep his feelings inside for long, but he is scared to loose his best friend too, that’s probably the reason he never even considered it, because he can’t lose Buck, he just can’t but he might tonight and that terrifies him.
He must have been quiet for too long because Buck looks at the ground and says “It’s ok Eddie sorry, you just arrived today and I am already bothering you”
“You are not” Buck looks at him “you are never bothering me, it’s just… I don’t know how to say it” Eddie walks towards him, nervous and put his hands on Buck’s shoulders, not loosing eye contact.
“I…” he starts, but his mind is blank, he opens and closes his mouth a few times but nothing comes out. God he can’t do this looking at his eyes, he will see the refusal and break his heart. Buck does not move or say anything his eyes kind, waiting.
So instead he removes his hands from his shoulders and hugs him, a crushing hug, burring his face in Bucks neck, holding him hard, he does not want to let go, ever. Buck just puts his hands on his back, softly, not really hugging him back.
“I missed you” Eddie says softly in Bucks neck “More than I thought I could ever miss someone”
“Eddie…” buck says, Eddie refuses to let go, even if Buck is still unmoving.
“These past few months we have been apart have made me realized how much you mean to me, I… I realized that even though I had Christopher with me there was a part missing, I love you Buck” Eddie hugs him even tighter, he feels the tears fall to buck shirt. “I understand if you don’t feel the same way, and if you don’t want me around, Chris and I can go if you need time-“ he does not get to say more, Bucks arms wrap around him, holding him even closer “You are not going anywhere, you are staying here with me, for as long as you want… forever if you want” he whispers, and he starts to feel Buck tears on his neck “I missed you so much it was driving me insane, I think I drove everyone around me insane too, I could just not shut up about you.”
Eddie laughs in bucks neck and breaths in, he is so happy he could fly. “Yeah, my sisters suffered the same treatment and Chris’s too”
Buck breaks the hug, not pushing him away but enough they can see each other. “Wait, Chris knows?” His eyes look bluer than ever because of the tears, Eddie wipes them with his thumb.
“Yes, he knows”
“Oh, that’s why he was insistent for us to be roommates? And asking me to ask you about the thing”
“Haha that’s what he told you? Mmm the thing? What thing?” Eddie moves his head to one side, smiling, he hasn’t flirted in ages leave him alone.
Buck just rolls his eyes.
“Eddie…” Buck is smiling back, and he is blushing and Eddie is so fucking happy, he grabs Buck’s by the neck with both hands and pull’s him in for a Kiss.
And goodness it’s amazing why haven’t they been doing this for the past seven years? Eddie ends up pushed to the counter, where Buck grabs his tights and pulls him up, and its so hot he can’t stop the moan from escaping. Buck pulls apart while he laughs at him.
“Shut up” He knows his face is flushed red.
“I love you” Bucks says smiling brightly.
“I love you too Buck”
“Dad! Buck!”
Bucks pulls away and Eddie jumps out of the counter in record time before Chris enters the Kitchen.
“Hey buddy what’s up” Buck manages to say, Eddie still needs to catch his breath.
“Is there any desert?”
“Sure, let me check the fridge, I think I have some ice cream”
“Are you ok Dad?” his son eyes him suspiciously.
“Uhmm mmm… yeah, all good Chris”
“WAIT? Did you? Did you?” he looks between Eddie and Buck, who is taking a strawberry cheesecake ice cream from the fridge.
Eddie and Buck look at each other.
“Oh you totally did, does this mean we can stay with Buck? Or Buck can stay with us wherever” Chris says fast.
“Yeah Chris, we will stick together for now on”
Chris goes to Buck to give him a hug and extends his arm so Eddie can join them. And Eddie has never felt this happy, holding his two favorite people and knowing he will be able to keep this family forever. They are finally home.