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One day, Rafael had been prosecuting Margarett Scott, a 52 year old witch with white hair adorned by multi-colored strands, for swapping people's bodies without their consent. Evidence was irrefutable and no matter how hard the defense tried, the final verdict was guilty on all counts .
Mrs. Scott had been dragged out of the courtroom, thrashing and screaming on her way out with her eyes glowing a dangerous red.
“You will pay for this Mr. Barba! You’ll regret this, I promise you! All of you will pay.”
Rafael had shared an amused look with Olivia, Carisi and Rollins, who were sitting in the front row and enjoyed every bit of the trial. Their testimonies had been crucial to nail her to cross. If Mrs Scott had committed to using her powers with willing participants instead of forcing several married couples into a weird-swinging situation, they wouldn’t have been there in the first place.
Rafael was getting kind of tired of bringing magic users to trial for not knowing when and where to use their abilities. He missed the days where he’d been unaware of their existence, there weren’t any wizards or witches in his family leaving him painfully boring and normal.
Until his lunches began to mysteriously vanish from his lunch box at school even though he carried it with him all day and his bike always had a damn flat tire. Sometimes, he’d wake up with his hair dyed green and go crying to his abuelita thinking it was the broccoli’s fault.
After that, his mother and abuelita sat down with him on the couch for over an hour explaining in detail how there were people with abilities from beyond the earthly plane.
“Demonic activities, Rafi. You have to be careful.” His abuelita had warned as she clenched her rosary tighter to her chest.
Eddie and Alex had helped take the target off his back for a while because there was no way he could get into a non-magic users only school. Despite his family’s warnings, he’d gone down the rabbit hole - full with a wand and hat - reading every book about the subject at the public library and keeping detailed notes to never be taken by surprise.
Graduating from magic law school had taught him to always expect the craziest. And lately, magical sex-related crimes had increased, and with it, his ability to look at wacky stuff and not be surprised.
So, after Mrs. Scott's voice died down, lost behind brown doors, he gathered his things from the sturdy wood desk to head to Forlini’s for a few celebratory drinks with Liv and Amanda to put the whole case behind them. What was one more threat? He had a dozen letters collecting dust in a bottom drawer and countless numbers blocked from contacting him.
Just another day in the office.
Rafael should start taking threats against his life more seriously.
Rafael stood in front of a king-sized bed that definitely wasn't his, looking at the expanse of Sonny Carisi's pale skin and perky ass exposed to the crisp fall air seeping through the half-open window.
His head pounded slightly, the ground still wobbly underneath him. He hadn't had that much to drink, Rafael vividly remembered stopping after 4 drinks and going home, leaving a slightly more intoxicated Amanda and Liv behind. He even texted Carisi - who had returned to the precinct to finish off some paperwork - to pick up his wife after overhearing slurred plans of heading to Liv’s for a nightcap.
Rafael stood for longer than he should’ve had, scanning from the man’s shoulders down to his long legs. Last night was a big blank in his brain but he was sure he didn’t come home to the Carisis, and he definitely didn’t sleep with someone else's husband.
No. No fucking way. No. Rafael fled to the bathroom, hoping that if he splashed water to his face, it would wake him up from the dream. Because that's what it was, right?
When he turned the lights on, Rafael saw a pair of boobs and blonde hair that also weren’t his.
What the fuck?
“No, no, no, you’ve got to be kidding me,” Rafael rushed out in a high-pitched and feminine voice. Amanda’s voice . And that was Amanda Rollins in the mirror staring back horrified. Rafael closed his eyes, not wanting to look at his friend/coworker’s body more than necessary. He turned his back to the mirror, trying to get his breathing back in control.
There were no supplies in prison for the spell body-swapping required, so it couldn’t have been the lady he put there despite her threats. It didn’t make sense. Maybe a family member? No, she was a widower and had no family ties, which made her lonely and bitter enough to pull that shit with happily married people.
Rafael reached for a towel and wrapped it around himself, herself? No, himself. Whatever. He stumbled back to the bedroom, bile rising in his throat while he tried his best to keep it down. He was due in court, and if he was in Amanda’s body, then she was in his.
Fuck. That was not good.
Carisi was awake, frowning and patting the empty side of the bed, in search of Amanda, wedding ring reflecting the morning light. Right, they’re married. And they’re naked because they probably had sex at some point in the evening. His morning kept getting better and better.
“‘’Manda?” Carisi mumbled, his voice low and husky with sleep. His hair stuck up in all directions, free from the ridiculous amount of gel Carisi used sometimes. He looked adorable, and hot and— Wait.
Rafael became too aware of his increasingly pathetic crush. He would be lying if he said he hadn’t thought about this moment at some point in the last two years, of waking up next to Carisi and being the one he hugged in the middle of the night.
But Carisi was painfully straight and married, and he was not in the business of being a homewrecker. When Carisi had asked if Rafael could help him study for the bar, of course he’d said yes, despite his better judgment.
He had kept his crush in check, taking the small camaraderie moments in the middle of the night in his office for what they were, tampering down his jealousy whenever Amanda arrived and wrapped her arms around Carisi to walk out together.
He had managed well, though. Sometimes forgetting about it if his day was good enough. But this? Being in Amanda’s body, the wife of the man he had secretly desired for months? It was divine punishment. Maybe the universe was laughing at his face, amused by its cruel joke.
“I’m here,” Rafael replied, grimacing at the sound of Amanda’s voice, too weirded out to not make a face. “Good morning, Ca-Sonny.”
“Good morning,” Carisi replied, pulling him down on the bed for a lazy, sleepy morning kiss.
Rafael didn't reciprocate at first, his brain short-circuited. Technically Carisi wasn't kissing him, it was wrong, and there was a disconnect between the body he was in and his brain. But Carisi’s hands went down, tracing his skin at his sides, lips trailing down to his neck and — the act made a mini-Rafael spin and jump around inside his head, elated by the situation.
“Everything ok?” Carisi spoke again, his voice still heavy but laced with concern.
Rafael gazed into his beautiful baby blue eyes, which he never thought he'd get a chance to see this close, then he said, “Yeah, just tired and hungover.”
“Mhm, good thing we have today off then.”
Carisi went back to kissing around his chin, mouthing carefully before fully getting on top of him. Carisi undid the towel he had previously wrapped around his body with his free hand, trailing between his breast, the other holding himself up. Carisi’s morning wood pressed down against his thigh.
No. No. That was also fucking wrong and even if he wanted to he was pretty sure there was a thin line of consent being crossed. Rafael recognized how quickly this would turn into a morning-quickie situation, fighting against the arousal at the prospect, even if he wanted to, that was not the way. He wouldn’t want to deceive Carisi like that.
“Wait, wait—” Rafael urged, taking a deep breath when Carisi pulled back with a puzzled expression. “I need a shower first.”
Carisi groaned, but obliged, flopping on his side of the bed, the sheets doing very little to cover anything. Rafael averted his eyes. How the fuck was he supposed to handle this an entire day? And also, there was the matter of court and Amanda being way out of her depth. Christ. One thing at a time.
“I’ll be right back.”
Carisi gave a low hum, one arm thrown over his face. Rafael took the opportunity to check the two phones on the nightstand, he would text Amanda and get this fixed, there had to be a way. Rafael unlocked the right one with face-recognition and fled to the bathroom again, locking it in case Carisi had any ideas of moving his horniness to the shower.
There was already a series of texts from himself waiting on the notification panel.
“Call me.”
“You better fix this or I swear —”
“Barba, this is serious. Call me.”
“Why do you have so many ties? This is ridiculous.”
Rafael dialed his own number, leaning against the countertop, his feet tapping on the tiles. After two beats, Rafael almost threw up at hearing his own voice through the phone.
“You better know how to reverse this in the next 30 minutes.” Amanda said over the buzzing and grinding in the background.
“Rollins, what are you doing to my espresso machine?”
“Nothing!”
More high-pitched wheezing followed.
“That doesn’t sound like nothing . She sounds in pain, leave it alone!”
“She?”
“Not the point,” Rafael grimaced, his baby sounded like it would start crying from misuse at any second. “Stop it, get some coffee from the cart outside the courthouse.”
Amanda huffed, then a few seconds later the noises stopped. “I will never understand why people buy these things, stick to a simple coffee maker, it tastes the same.”
Rafael rolled his eyes and replied, “Of course you’d say that.”
“Whatever, so, how do we fix this?”
Rafael blanked, that was the real question. One he had no idea what the answer was. “You wouldn't happen to have a witch in the family, would you?”
“No. You?”
“If I had, do you think I’d be asking?”
They both groaned, Rafael turned around, stumbling back when once again he saw Amanda’s exasperated expression in the mirror.
“Listen, Barba, apparently you have court today and unless you want to lose your job, we need to figure something out.”
“I know, I know, just, I’ll meet you there, okay? I have to figure out a way to stop your husband from wanting to fuck me- you? Whatever, how do you get him to fall asleep again?”
Amanda giggled over the line, not bothered by Rafael’s statement in the slightest. That was…something. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to ask or not but he was missing something.
“Don’t worry about it, just take a little longer in the shower, he should be dead to the world again by the time you come out.”
“Alright, thanks,” Rafael said, scratching his face. “Try not to make me look too bad, I have a reputation to maintain.”
“I’ll try.”
Rafael hung up. He wasn’t sure how long Amanda took in the shower, so he kept it at 30 minutes just to be safe. Her lavender body wash and exfoliant combination was pretty nice. Rafael kept the brand in the back of his mind for future research. Then, he threw Carisi’s gel in the trash, letting his impulses win. Honestly, he was doing the world a favor. Maybe he’d trade it for some pomade instead. Yeah.
Rafael stepped outside and found Carisi sleeping soundly. He smiled, and tiptoed around the room to get dressed, trying to keep it simple but similar to what he’d seen Amanda wearing before without making a mess of their closet. He only wished Amanda would keep the same courtesy towards his wardrobe.
Traffic was a mess. Rafael made it to the courtroom way too late, rushing past the people who walked too slowly and the people who didn’t understand the courtesy of standing to the side and not in the middle of the goddamn hallways.
Rafael slipped in quietly, just in time to hear himself speak.
“Oh, come on, this is ridiculous. Did you fail third grade? How long does it take you to finish ten pages? This is a delaying tactic thing—”
“Mr. Barba, please,” Judge Barth chided, signaling back to Buchanan so he could speak. Rafael had to suppress a chuckle, it’s not like he hadn’t thought the same thing a few times over the years.
“Like I was saying, we need more time to review it. We have a private lab doing test and—”
“Your Honor, who gives a fuck, really?” Amanda stood up, interrupting Buchanan again.
Rafael saw his career’s death flash before his eyes.
“Mr. Barba! Behave or I will hold you in contempt, this is your last warning.”
“Sorry, your honor.” Amanda dropped back on the chair, shooting Buchanan a dirty look.
“We request a continuance, your honor. I’m only trying to get my client a fair trial.”
Judge Barth looked down at her paperwork with a thoughtful expression, finally she looked between both lawyers and said, “Does the prosecution agree?”
“Sure,” Amanda said in the most boring tone he’d ever heard, one leg crossed over the other. “Whatever, fine, the prosecution agrees.”
Judge Barth gave a silent judgmental look before giving her final ruling, “I'm granting the defense’s request for a continuance, the trial is rescheduled a week from now.”
Rafael sighed in relief, that gave him a week to either find a way to solve the whole body-swap thing or to at least give Amanda a crash course of magical law. Amanda gathered the briefcase and headed outside.
Rafael tried not to cringe too hard at the mismatch between the pocket square and tie, not even an ounce of similar colors there. Just a speck would've been enough. Come on.
“Are you freaking crazy?” Rafael said once they were both in the hallway, trying not to raise his voice too much.
“Me? How am I supposed to know what—”
“You should've told Carmen you were sick or something.”
“You should’ve been here on time!” Amanda’s voice raised, one hand on her hip as a couple of eyes settled on them. That wouldn’t do. There were ears everywhere in that damn building.
“Let’s talk somewhere else, come on,” Rafael said, pulling Amanda towards one of the rooms, ushering the one person to fuck off and vacate it.
“Okay so, what do we know?” Rafael asked, leaning to place both hands on the table. Expecting the detective to do her job and solve their case.
“Right, well. We know the couples returned to their bodies shortly after, so the spell isn’t long-lasting.”
“Or maybe she didn’t want to make it long-lasting even though she knew how on purpose?”
“Fair point. But can you at least be a bit positive about it?”
“Sorry, okay, go on.”
“She could’ve tortured any of the couples for a long time, but she either didn’t know or didn’t want to. By her testimony, I’m pretty sure she’s not all that powerful.”
“So we wait it out then?” Rafael hissed, hating the idea already.
“Pretty much.”
“Fine, but tell Carmen you feel sick, stomach bug or something, she’ll reschedule the meetings I have. I don’t want you to make me lose my job.”
“Oh come on!” Rafael shot a "do you seriously want me to prove you wrong” look and Amanda rolled her eyes. “Whatever. It’s not like I wanna play lawyer for the day, it works for me.”
“What about Carisi?”
“What about him?”
“You’re supposed to have the day off, I can’t spend the day with him.”
“Sure you can, just,” Amanda waved her hands around, which meant absolutely nothing.
“What? Have sex all day like rabbits? Is that what you two do on your days off?”
“Not all the time, but yeah.” Rafael wanted the floor to open up and swallow him down all the way to the center of the earth.
“I’m not doing that—”
“I didn’t say you have to , just, keep him entertained.”
“I’m not babysitting.”
“It’s more like pet-sitting if you think about it.”
Rafael shook his head, ignoring the image of Carisi and a golden retriever emerging in his brain.
“We could just explain it to him, I’m pretty sure he’ll understand.”
“I’m not having that conversation with him, y’know what he’s like,” Amanda said, but he could see the worry and uncertainty in the words. “If this only lasts one day, I’m sure we can manage.”
“What if it doesn’t?”
“Fuck, Barba—” Amanda suddenly gasped, one hand going up to cover her mouth.
“What?”
“We have that thing at Dodds’ today.”
“What thing ? What are you talking about?”
“He invited us all to have dinner at his place, team bonding or some shit apparently. You’re on the list too.”
Rafael did not remember that. At all.
“Any way you can skip this thing?” Rafael suggested, more than willing to pretend to have food poisoning.
“I don’t think Sonny wants to,” Amanda replied. “Fuck! This is the worst timing ever. Why do you have to piss off the witches?”
“By doing my job?”
“By being a smug-asshole about it.”
Rafael chuckled, reaching for his briefcase on instinct before realizing he hadn’t even brought a purse out of Rollin’s collection to tie the outfit together.
“We have to tell him then.” Rafael replied, giving Amanda a stern look, hoping she would finally stop being stubborn about it.
“Fine. But you’re coming with me.”
“What the fuck?” Sonny practically yelled, staring in horror between the two of them. “Wait, wait, so last night—?”
“No, no, last night it was still me, I promise,” Amanda interjected, hoping to calm the horror going through her husband’s brain. She reached out to touch his shoulder before remembering it wasn’t her hand and she wasn’t sure how Sonny would react to it.
“So he doesn’t know about…?” Sonny whispered as if Rafael weren’t standing less than five feet away.
“Not unless you open your big mouth right now and incriminate yourself.” Amanda warned, eyes wide that said ‘shut the fuck up’.
Rafael looked between the two, eyes narrowed and suspicious but didn’t ask. Sonny slumped back on the couch, rubbing a hand over his forehead, shaking his head every so often.
“Listen, we’re not happy about it either, ok? And I’m going to visit Mrs Scott tomorrow to get this sorted out.” Rafael interjected.
“Who?” Sonny replied.
“The witch”
“Right, that bitch.” Sonny huffed, crossing his arms over his chest.
“I’m sorry, Sonny.” Amanda said, sitting next to him.
“Why? It’s not like you guys did this on purpose.” Sonny countered, sitting up straight. “It’s just so weird. I had an easier time wrapping my head around the Holy Trinity.”
“Tell me about something weird.” Rafael snorted. “I had to wake up to your pale ass today.”
“You say it like it’s a bad thing.” Sonny replied. “My ass is fantastic, thank you very much.”
That shut Rafael up.
Out of all the responses he’d had expected, Sonny joking so comfortably about it was not one of them. Amanda’s eyes were on him too, waiting for a reply, but his lips were dry and he was so out of his depth and body to say something coherent, naked without his suit or even cufflinks to fiddle with.
“Do we tell anyone else?” Sonny murmured, killing the silence.
“No!” Amanda and Rafael yelled at the same time.
“Okay, jeez, calm down”
“Let’s just get through dinner, pretend things are normal and wait for Rafael to go speak with Mrs Scott before making any harsh choices. Agreed?” Amanda proposed.
Rafael and Sonny shared a look, then at the same time replied, “Agreed.”
If you think your day can’t get worse, oh yes it can. Not worse, worse, just torture designed to remind him of what he couldn’t have.
He had spent the day talking with Sonny, from his law-related questions for the upcoming bar exam to sharing childhood stories he’d never said out loud, delighted when Sonny laughed and shared some of his own.
Sonny had cooked lunch, a rich and creamy risotto he’d devoured down to the last grain of rice.
While he was sprawled on the couch, flipping through the TV channels, Sonny had picked up a guitar, delicate fingers skimming over the strings and soft voice humming an old Beatles tune.
When it was time to get ready for the dreaded dinner, Rafael was ready to give up.
He shared the room with Sonny while they got ready for the party, pretending he wasn’t looking at the same ass he’d dissed earlier or the light hair covering Sonny’s chest or the water running down his back when he came out of the bathroom and —
“Blue or purple?” Sonny asked, standing with his arms crossed over his chest in front of a large - not as big as Rafael’s but an improvement from the early days - selection of shirts.
“What?” Rafael replied, looking up from Amanda’s shoe selection.
“Are we going blue or purple? You know, for our outfits.”
“You guys color match on pur— of course you do,” Rafael shook his head, dismissing the whole thing. But Sonny still looked at him expecting a real reply, growing restless the longer Rafael stayed there saying nothing. In the end, he gave in.
Purple was always a safe choice, bold, royal. Blue matched both Sonny and Amanda’s eyes, different shades but both gorgeous. Rafael walked over to the closet and pulled out a black navy shirt with short sleeves. He held it in front of Sonny as if envisioning how it would look and nodded, handing it over.
Sonny smiled and got going, putting the rest of his outfit together with dark wash jeans and styling his hair while Rafael fiddled and fought with Amanda’s hair straightener.
“How the —?” Rafael huffed in front of the vanity’s mirror, there was the matter of makeup and hair he had ignored in the morning but couldn’t afford now. He had watched a couple of youtube tutorials and combined with his experience helping Rita in college, Rafael managed to apply the base, concealer and lipstick well enough. The mascara was annoying and it made his eyes water, but the eyeshadows were his ultimate enemy. Having to brush and put pressure over his eyelids made him feel queasy.
The hair tho? He’d washed it and dried it, but the whole making it straight part was taking a bit. The damn thing wouldn’t heat up, or he would grab it on the wrong side and almost burn a finger in the process. It was getting on his nerves. He unplugged and plugged the offending hair tool after a few seconds as if that would fix his problem.
“Give me that,” Sonny announced, prying the hair straightener out of his hands. “If you burn it, she’s gonna kill you.”
After applying heat protectant and grabbing a comb, Sonny started doing it like it was second nature, small section after small section, methodical and precise. Rafael wouldn’t stop complaining the entire time, though.
“Ow! You’re burning me—”
“I’m not! I do this all the time.”
“It hurts.”
“Shut up, it’s the steam.”
“Then, why does it smell burnt?”
“Rafael, I swear to god if you keep moving—”
Sonny finished with an oil to the ends, leaving it smooth and silky. “There, you can stop whining like a child now.”
Rafael ran a hand over the blonde locks and Sonny slapped it away.
“What was that for?!”
“You’re going to make it frizzy, leave it alone.” Sonny admonished. “Can we go now? We’re bordering on rudely-late.”
Rafael rolled his eyes and stood up, using Amanda’s perfume for the finishing touch while Sonny did the same, giving one last check to his hair. It was looser than usual without the gel, having to use an old pomade he had as backup that should have always been the first option.
“Alright, let’s get this over with.” Rafael said, grabbing a red purse from the collection, gearing up for the ultimate test of his acting skills.
The dinner party was in full swing by the time they arrived to the Dodds household. People talking in different corners of the living room over glasses of red wine and good-quality scotch. There was a large table in the middle with a white tablecloth and a centerpiece of fresh white roses in a clear glass vase and candles tying the whole homey and welcoming vibes together.
Rafael snuck towards the cheese board display first after grabbing a drink and leaving Sonny to handle the tedious and almost boring conversation with Dodds Sr and mini-Dodds, while Amanda - wearing one of his more casual blazers - entertained Olivia on the couch. He approved of the choice, safe grey and black combination. Maybe she could’ve added a bit more touch of color or—
“Cheddar!” He mumbled to himself, popping a piece into his mouth, savoring the sharp and slightly earthy flavor. The entire board had a nice selection of brie, muenster, gruyère and cured meats, crackers, breadsticks, even sliced apples, honey, dates and some nuts. Rafael had to force himself to keep a good pace and not stuff himself like an animal that had been starving for hours.
At some point, Sonny returned to his side, hand wrapped around his waist, feeding some cheese cubes directly to his mouth. He knew, he knew it was fine, to everyone else it was the newlyweds being overly cute in front of everyone, but he couldn’t shake the feeling of wrongness. Amanda was watching them from the couch, but not with the annoyed look he expected.
“Hey, are you doing okay?” Sonny whispered right next to his ear, raspy enough to send shivers down his spine.
Rafael gulped, moving the hair away from his face. “Good, I just—I’m nervous.”
“You’re doing fine, though. Mike asked if I pissed you off.”
“What? Why?”
Sonny cocked his head. Yeah. Stupid question. Outside of work, Amanda and Sonny were all over each other, practically unable to keep their hands to themselves. It would be weird to see ‘her’ sniffing an entire cheese board without Sonny.
“Sorry, you said it yourself. It’s weird.”
“Hey, don’t think about it too much. We’re doing what we can to get through dinner, that’s all, okay?”
Rafael looked up, then glanced at Amanda who was once again pouring herself a glass of champagne. He finally sighed, nodding, “Fine. I can do that.”
“Good.” Sonny smiled, then leaned down to peck him.
Godamnit. Rafael couldn’t help it, pulling Sonny’s belt to deepen the kiss, keeping Sonny’s soft lips on him for a while longer, dizzy with the feeling, confused but glad and—
Mike cleared his throat, making them split apart and said, “Dinner’s ready, if you guys wanna sit down with the rest of us…”
Rafael tried not to groan too hard, cheeks burning with desire and embarrassment. Amanda was looking right at them with a cushion over her lap, squirming on the couch before standing up and hurrying to take a seat. Oh. Wait. Wait.
Sonny didn’t seem unaffected, the tint on his cheeks matching the pink of his lips, pulling back reluctantly only to grab his hand and bring them both to the table where most people were sitting and reaching for the wine bottles in the middle.
“Can I get everyone’s attention, please?” Dodds Sr. stood up, clicking a knife against his wine glass until the conversation died now and all eyes were on him. “Before we begin, I want to thank everyone for attending tonight. I know we had a rocky start, but I’m thankful for all your hard work and honestly, the way you all welcomed my son to the squad. This is just a small token of appreciation. Cheers!”
A chorus of ‘cheers’ followed by glasses clicking signaled the beginning of the feast. Rafael tried to keep his eyes down, eat his shrimp pasta and get through it in one piece, scared of meeting Amanda’s gaze from across the table.
Sonny had other ideas, though.
There was a hand planted on his leg, burning, distracting him from his food. Sonny would share pieces from his meal casually while conversation arose amongst everyone, unaware of how much he was suffering everytime Sonny’s hand got closer to his crotch then pulled it away.
Rafael had to drink three more wine glasses just to get through it.No one could honestly tell if the flush down his neck was the wine’s fault or Sonny’s fingers tracing circles on his thigh, but it was there. Amanda and Sonny were sharing looks that bordered on suspicion but he was getting too drunk to dissect fully.
Maybe they were communicating telepathically or something, but what the hell does he know? Anything was possible in their world.
He couldn’t recall how they ended on the couch, him sitting on Sonny’s lap with Amanda by his side talking to Olivia and mini-Dodds. Laughter bubbled around them between work-related anecdotes and embarrassing rookie stories, but all he could focus on was how nice and sturdy Sonny’s chest felt and how warm his hands felt as they slipped over the skin of his lower back.
He could spend the entire night nestled there, feigning obliviousness with his mind clouded by alcohol and Sonny’s touch, selfishly wishing the spell lasted longer than a day.
Amanda barged into Rafael's office, shooting a quick dismissive glance at some junior ADA that had been pestering him with dumb questions for the last half hour. Rafael was not easily intimidated, but he had always admired Amanda's strong and resilient personality. He could understand why Sonny had fallen in love with her, because he seemed to worship the ground she walked on and do whatever it took to make sure she was happy. However, it was one thing to see the cold, calculating stares directed at criminals and another to be in front of sharp blue eyes. No wonder the guy gathered his things and fled the room almost immediately.
Once the room was clear, she put her hands on her hips and asked, “So, do you like my husband?”
“Excuse me?” Rafael almost choked on the coffee he was sipping, eyes widening.
What was he supposed to respond to that ?
He was grateful to have woken up that morning back in his body with his job intact after giving a flimsy excuse attributing his performance in court as the product of an uncontrollable fever.
The other part of Rafael felt empty after finding the right side vacant, back to perpetual solitude in an apartment that was too big for one. He’d fallen asleep with Sonny’s arms wrapped around him like he’d dreamed about so many nights, now the knowledge of how it felt would haunt him for weeks, maybe years.
It was the perfect torture for a lonely soul.
“I know that look.” Amanda said, sitting across from him.
“I'm not sure what you’re talking about.” Rafael countered, putting the cup down. “Can we not talk about this? We were each other, now we’re not. You can go back and enjoy your life.”
“Barba, come on—”
“No, listen,” Rafael pleaded, desperate to put the matter to rest, talking about it just hurt him more, taunting him for wishing for more knowing he shouldn’t. “We've seen enough of each other. I don’t want to discuss it.”
Amanda leaned back on the chair, clasping her hands together in silence. Rafael hoped she’d give up and leave, he had another trial coming up with a mountain of paperwork to read and motions to file.
“Are you seriously telling me you didn’t enjoy being me for a day?” Amanda suddenly spoke up, with that look that compelled perps to confess their worst crimes.
His was being selfish and gluttonous when he should’ve been thankful for getting a glimpse at what could've happened if he hadn’t been a coward. Fuck, maybe Sonny had rubbed some of his catholic guilt on him.
“Rollins, please, let’s not,” He tried again, hoping to convey his desperation well enough.
“Sonny liked it.”
“What?” Rafael froze, his heartbeat going out of control. Not even his wildest dreams had entertained the idea that Sonny might like him. They were friends, nothing more. “But I was you .”
“I know. It’s mindfuck.” Amanda waved her hands around. “But you’re an interesting man, Rafael. It was you talking to Sonny. And believe it not, he likes it, not just your body. Is that really so hard to believe?”
“But you’re—”
“Married? Yeah.” She deadpanned, then leaned forward, refusing to break eye contact. “We’re also two mature, consenting adults who can express their sexual desires in a healthy conversation.”
“So what you’re saying is—”
“My husband has a big, fat crush on you and if you’re willing and onboard with it…” Amanda’s tone was firm and unwavering, free of any trace of hesitation that could make him believe her words were a joke. “I’d be happy to fulfill one of his fantasies. So, what do you say?”
It would be a bad, terrible, potentially catastrophic idea. He was doing so well until pesky spells and a petty witch interrupted his streak of ignoring his feelings. He knew having full access to Sonny in his own body, even if it was just one night would destroy him.
Rafael should’ve said no. He should’ve really said no and spared himself the pain and yearning that would come after the aftershocks of pleasure had left his brain.
Yet, the word that left his lips sealed a sentence of eternal torture.
“Yes.”
“Perfect.” Amanda grinned, eyes shining with mischief. “So, some ground rules…”