Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Dying was weird, but living was even more so. 

Maybe weird wasn't the right word.
Painful would be a more commonly used term. Or even otherworldly, given how I had literally watched my body being carried away and cried over at my own funeral. 

It's not like it wasn't painful — to see my mother cry over me while my little sister held her to comfort was a heart-wrenching sight. It ached me, tore me to pieces to watch my family perform the last of my rites while refusing to believe I was actually gone. 

On the same note, it was surprising too, since I never thought anyone would ever cry over my death.

…that didn't sound quite right. 

What I meant to say was that I was a sickly and frail child. My health was always a question that could never be answered and hospital visits were a weekly thing I was used to since my toddler years. 

People knew I was weak and could die easily. 
That's why I never thought anyone would really mourn when I die. 

To see people coming to my funeral to give a final farewell and even cry over my body…

It was jarringly unexpected. 

I hated how much pain I left behind. 
As if my life wasn't painful and costly enough for my family. 

…maybe I really should've ended it back then if I had to die at 25 anyway—

“Good morning, my baby! How was your sleep today, hm?” a soft, sweet voice interrupted my self-deprecating thoughts (memories?) before picking me off my bed. 

I blinked at the soft pink silhouette that picked me, knowing instinctively this was my new mother. Why she was completely pink, I didn't know, and my eyesight definitely wasn't developed enough to give me the answers either. 

“Koray? You okay, sweetie?” 

I babbled to appease her, knowing damn well she'd start worrying if I didn't and run off to my yellow blob of a father. Or at least, I guess it was a father since I hadn't ever heard them speak. 

But to conceive, they'll need two people of opposite sexes, right? 

But, then again, I wasn't sure we were human either, given how my new mother was pink and my skin felt scratchier than normal human skin. 

…was I isekai-ed? 
But I didn't get off-ed by truck-kun? 
Or did I watch too much anime? 

Eh, oh well.
It is what it is. How bad can it be anyway?

Chapter Text

I jinxed myself. 
Because I'm a monster.

And no, not the metaphorical kind either.

“Oh, you awake, sweetie?” My mother called out as she noticed me staring at the ceiling, her pink scaly skin was the first thing I always noticed as she bent down to book my nose (snout?).

“Aboo!” I look at her with mock-offence, her resulting giggles making me giggle too, “Mm… Ah!” 

“Oh? Trying to call me so early?” Her tone was teasing but her eyes glittered with excitement, “That excited to say ‘mama’, huh?” 

“Mmhm!” 

“Aww, you're growing so fast, Koray sweetie,” she took me into her arms, smooching the hell out of my face, “Don't grow up so fast! Your mommy and daddy still ain't satisfied with your round little chubby face!” 

“Uwaaaah!” 

“Hehe, are you offended I called you round? But they're adorable too!” 

“Uwuuuu…” 
I whined as my (new) mother giggled again and cried me outside in her arms. 

It gave me a prime view of her scaly face, reminding me how inhumane she actually looked. As far as I could tell, she had a lizard-like bone and skin structure, making her look like a dragon more than anything. 

And I fucking loved dragons. 

I still do, in fact. 
That's why I was really excited to see how I might look, given that now my eyesight is relatively clearer than before. 

Unfortunately, it wasn’t as clear as I would like — only allowing me to see things in higher definition if I lean in enough. Though, most of the time, that was enough if nothing else. 

Putting my baby sight aside, the other thing I was still getting used to was my drinking habit. 

No, I didn't mean the adult kind but I didn't mean the baby kind either. 

I sure wasn't drinking milk, seeing how it was yellow, of all things. It wasn't even the off-white colour I knew some new mothers produced — it was full-on glowing yellow. 

Glowing. Like those cheap glowsticks you brought for One Direction concerts. 

Though, I thought as I chucked the said glowing liquid, it at least tasted good. Like strawberry jam. 

“I'm happy to see her eat well,” my yellow blob — er, my new father praised me as I sucked on my bottle, his beak moving in a strange way when he spoke. Yep, he was a bird. A yellow bird with soft enough feathers to make me insanely jealous. 

And cuddly too ‘cause he was the best to sleep on. 

I hummed as he picked me up, caressing my head softly as I leaned on him with my now-empty bottle. Mother took it off my hand soon enough before adding something to it and…

Wait a second. 
Was that… water? And she added the yellow glow? From her hand? What?? 

“Here's your new bottle, sweetie!” 

“Aboo?” I grabbed the bottle with both my hands, staring at it in astonishment as I questioned my sanity. 

“Isn’t your mum's magic pretty, Koray?” My father asked, his beak gently rubbing against my head, “Eat well and grow up to be as strong as her!” 

Magic? I was drinking fucking magic?! 

What? Where? How?! 
What fucking universe was I in to even…

I closed my eyes instinctively as the bottle was gently pressed against my lips, making me suckle on it without a second thought.

Huh. 
Magic was real. So were monsters. 

A universe where monsters could do magic? 
Ugh, there were too many that I knew with that plot. 

I turned in to tuck myself deeper into my father's feathers. 

Let's organise my thoughts once. 
I know a lot of anime but monsters were rarely a focus in them. Same with any books, movies, series or even games I played. Monsters were either NPCs, background characters or creatures to be killed. 

With how sentient I and my parents are, I don't think I'm in the ‘to kill’ category yet. Unless it's like Undertale. That's the only one I remember covering magic and sentient monsters. 

But there were no pink dragons there. Or yellow birds, except maybe a small one that helped cross a waterfall or something? 

God, I don't even remember it much, that's how long it's been since I watched the playthrough of it. And that's worse than playing it since at least playing it would've helped me remember shit but oh well. 

If I take anime, monsterkind was always targeted to be killed and was hardly sentient enough to be considered a beast. Except maybe in Hunter x Hunter but it had different circumstances and I don't think I'm born in the dark continent or whatever it was called. It's too peaceful for that.

I don't think it's Spirited Away either… or Blood-C or Fairy Tail or Yu Yu Hakusho. God, I would've loved it if it were Yu Yu Hakusho but I don't think they had the concept of monsters. Demons, yes, but not monsters… even in the spirit world. I think. 

What are the chances that if I pray enough that I'll be able to see Kurama? 

I snorted into my now (again) empty bottle. My father petted my head before taking the bottle and depositing me on his shoulder to caress my back gently. 

It made me sleepy, especially after eating so much like this.

Hm, what about a series? Supernatural? Eh, weren’t the monsters there humanoid? Besides, I never really got to finish it’s first season either, so I’m screwed if that’s the universe fate decided to dump me in.

Maybe I was in a manhwa? Or a book? But I don't quite remember reading any with monsters as the focus. And even the ones I read had monsters as canon fodder rather than anything, like Solo Levelling, Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint or even S-classes I raised. 

My thoughts screeched to a halt as it occurred to me — Cale.

Shit, was I in his book? 
Wait, I don't even remember what the name was of that one — Hero's Journey? No, trash something? Trash of Duke? Shit. I don't even remember the title, let alone the content. 

They had monsters, didn't they? Beast people and demons and… monsters? Maybe? But were they anthropomorphic like this?? 

Why the hell didn't I read properly when I had the time?! 

A yawn escaped my lips as I was deposited on my bed, the gentle, feathery hand over me lulling me more and more into sleep. 

Nooooooooo! 
I needed to think! Narrow down my options! I've been sleeping way too much anyway! 

“Shh, my little star,” the hand on my head slowly rubbed my stomach, “Go to sleep, come on. You need to grow into a strong monster with a lot of HP, right? So, go to sleep, okay? Listen to your Papa.” 

Oh shit. 

Chapter Text

HP. HP.

I. Was. In. Fucking. Undertale. 

Fuck.
Fuckity fuck fuck! 

…heh, that came out funny. 

Wait, stop! Concentrate! 
We're in a game! A fucking video game that is meta as shit with 80% of the timelines being less than good! 

Only like, one is the good ending in it and even then that comes after that child-whose-name-I-forgot had fought that homicidal goat/flower boy. And even that was after what? Taking everyone's souls??? 

Fuck, and I'm born as a monster. 
A purebred monster with monster parents who can be the target of those homicidal little shits given which round we go by. 

There's also the question of timelines and resets and — wait, when was I born? Or rather, where in the whole timeline am I?? How can I even check that?! 

“Koray? Are you alright, sweetie?” 

“Mmhm!” I loudly hummed back to my lizard mother, her pink scaly skin gleaming beautifully under the candle, “‘m just thinkhing, ‘umma!” 

She giggled at my still childish pronunciation, her yellow eyes glittering with mirth. God, she was one beautiful monster. 

My father was really a lucky one. 

“Whatcha thinking, little star?” Father asked as he came from the kitchen with another lamp, his hand carrying a plate that he immediately handed to mother, “Anything serious?”

I hummed, wondering how to answer them before tilting my head, “Ya!” I grinned as I thought of the most devious thing I could pull off, “Where do babies come from, Papa?” 

The way both my parents froze made my lips twitch into a wider grin. 

》:✦:《

Huh, so the birds and the bees talk really was different for monsters. I think I should've guessed, given we are made up of magic, dust and compassion. 

Though, meshing each other's souls together to make babies was not what I expected. 

I still didn't understand it much, quite honestly, but, eh, it was better than nothing. Honestly, it was also better than human sex, especially since I still remember the few stray Undertale smuts that appeared on my Tumblr feed and I accidentally read on like an idiot since there was no concept of disclaimer back in the glory days. Or at least, for some members there wasn't. 

God, that was a learning experience. 

I shook my head as I focused back on the book in my hand, pretending to read again. 

I can't believe my parents straight up gave me Sex-Ed without a second thought when I was barely… what? 3 years? Almost 4 years old? They sure have a lot of trust in my intellectual capacity to think I'd understand what they're talking about. 

I mean, yes, I did but that wasn't the point. 

I looked up when the kids around me suddenly quietened down, making me look towards the teacher who finally came into the room. 

Yep, I was in a school. A monster school with other kids in my grades who were all wearing different types of stripes — something apparently kids need to wear to differentiate from the adults. 

While that shouldn't make sense, it did. Given how one of my classmates already looked 5 feet tall while being barely 5 years old! 
And I'm still teeny! Barely 2 feet! What the fu—?! 

I jolted back from my thoughts as my name was called for the roll call, making me sit up straight and reply back to confirm my presence. 

Other than my own, I don't recognise anyone else's name or even face — even with the limited knowledge that I have. Another thing that I noticed was that no one quite had a last name, which was to be expected given how there were so few of us. 

Even the class I currently sat in had like barely 10 students. 
It was the smallest class I'd ever been in.

Let's see how the classes hold up.
And if I can somehow maybe convince my parents to let me skip grades. 

That'd be way better than torturing myself to go through nursery and elementary again. 

》:✦:《

“Howdy! How are you doing, young one?” 

I stared at the giant goatman (mon?) in front of me wordlessly. 

Huh. Maybe skipping grades wasn't a wise idea after all.

“Hellu, yo’r Majesty,” I greeted back politely but carefully with a quick bow, grinning at him like the child I was supposed to be. 

“Ah,” he seemed to be taken by surprise, “Hello there, young Koray. It's okay, you don't have to be so formal with me…” 

“But yo'r the King?” I tilted my head in an exaggerated show of my ‘naivety’, “King shoul’ be resepe—” I scrunched my nose at my own pronunciation, “Respected.” 

“That he should be,” father replied from behind me, his hand gently petting my head as always. 

“You don’t need formalities to show respect,” Asgore answered gently, his golden hair having an absolutely gorgeous contrast against his white fur, “You don't need to bow to me, alright?” 

I silently nodded, wondering why I was here — or rather, why we were called here. 

Honestly speaking, I knew it was most likely because of my grades skipping, given how I was apparently tested to be of much higher intelligence than all my classmates. Maybe a little too high too, since the school principal asked us to give them a few days to arrange for the results, which they conveniently didn't tell us. 

Instead, we got a summons from the King himself, who was all jolly and smiles despite the heavy look under his eyes and forced cheerfulness. 

Well, at least I knew I was somewhere after his children's death, timeline-wise. 

That thought sobered me up as I looked at the monster in front of me. His stature was regal and absolutely humongous but somehow… still weakened. As if broken underneath the surface, that comes to light only under close inspection. 

“You seem to have very perceptive eyes, my child.” His words made me stiffen as he smiled down at me, “Tell me, what did you notice about me?” 

I hesitated before answering honestly, “You look ve'y tired, yo'r Ma'sty.” I tilted my head as I mused what else to say without giving away my foreknowledge, “As if, as if yo'v lost more than just sleep.” 

My words made Asgore laugh out in astonishment — something that I immediately took pride in. Of course, not visibly so but, eh. 

“Very perceptive, indeed,” Asgore kneeled down on one knee in front of me, making my heart leap as I stepped back towards my father's legs, “You're quite a bright star, young Koray. Do you know why?” I shook my head, making his smile widen, “Because of how carefully you see the world. Do you know how high your teachers spoke of you? They told me how well-read you were, with knowledge beyond your years. They said how your eyes noticed more than just shown and how observant you are.” 

My heart skipped as I met his maroon eyes, “What do you feel about it, young one?” 

“Um,” I flushed under everyone's gazes in the room, given how it was the royal council that wasn't even mentioned in the canon game, “I, I thin’ they're too kind…” 

The symphony of laughter that echoed after my words made me feel very shy as I hid behind my father further. 

“Such a sweet and smart kid you have, Vode,” another voice said from beside us, making me peek through hesitantly, “I would've been jealous if I didn't have my own sweet and smart one!” 

“There you go bragging about your boy again,” my father joked, his voice still holding a proud edge that made my soul swell, “Give us at least some rest, Gaster. We too would like to brag sometimes.” 

Oh shit. 

I whipped out from behind my father's legs, immediately turning towards the one my father called Gaster. 

He was a skeleton monster (shit) — a very tall one at that, but with no cracks and a notable grin on his face that… made him look more like what I thought Sans would look like. 

“Hey there, kid, like whatcha seeing?” His grin widened when I blinked at him blankly. 

“...maybe,” I answered hesitantly, “Are you a skeleton monster, Mister Ga-aster?” 

His eyelights spread wider in his skull as he turned to me fully now, “Yes, I am. How did you know, hm?” 

“'Cause yo'r white,” was it racist if I said it like that? “Bu-But like, in smooth white sense. It's… it looks like skin but not.” 

“And how's it like skin, hm?” He kneeled down too, reaching his hand out to me as if offering me to inspect it, “Isn't bone different from skin?” 

“Yes, but,” I looked at his hands that were just… God, they looked impossible, being held by magic like that. “It moves an’ fl’xes like skin an’ muscles. It's very, um, me-mellible?” 

“Malleable,” Gaster corrected me, though not unkindly, “Interesting. Very interesting.” He turned to my father, his white eyelights observing him for a moment before turning back to me and doing the same to me.

“You have a very bright daughter, Vode,” Asgore finally said something after observing silently for so long, his eyes still twinkling in interest and mirth, “Very smart and observant.” 

“Not just observant but also a very fast thinker,” Gaster added, his eyelights searching for something in me before looking back to father and Asgore, “Your Majesty, what do you think about placing this one in my son's class?” 

“Isn't your son taking special classes that no one else is?” My father asked, sceptical, “Like, in a homeschool or something?” 

“Nah, I'm teaching him in the labs,” he corrected casually as if he wasn't proving my father right, “I can teach your daughter too and I think it'll be good for the social development of both her and my son, Wingdings.” 

Huh? 

“But isn't Wingdings already 7 years old? Wouldn't my daughter lag behind because of the age and education gap?” 

What???

“I don't think your daughter will,” Gaster grinned, eyelights bright and mischievous, “But my son sure might find a challenge in her. What do you say?” 

No?? Hello???

Chapter Text

The thing about monsters was that no two looked the same, unlike humans. There might be some similarities, but mostly it was because of the species rather than anything else. 

Take me as an example. 
I look like a dragon without the wings and tail — my pink skin colour and yellow eyes came from my mother, while my stature came from my father. 

I looked a lot like how my mother was when she herself was a baby lizard but still looked different enough that no one confused me with her even without the yellow and pink stripes. 

…maybe it was because of the height that I got from my father but who cares.

Anyway, my point was that monsters were vastly different in looks and stature from each other, even when in the same family. That's why it surprised me when I met the skeletons for the first time. 

“You think a lot, Miss Koray.” 

“You can drop the ‘Miss’, Wingdings, it's fine,” I replied offhandedly, my eyes still skimming over the history book I was handed, “I'm almost four years younger than you anyway.” 

“But,” white fuzzy eyelights greeted me with hesitance.

“But?” 

“But dad says you're smarter than me—” 

“He's teasing you, don't listen to him,” I scowl at the reminder of his clown of a father. “Also, it doesn't matter if I'm smarter or not, we both are friends, right? Then drop the formalities and call me by name and sit down. Please.” 

The 8-year-old skeleton monster looked at me with wonder before nodding and following through with what I told him. 

It was weird looking at Wingdings after everything I knew about him from my previous life. 

He was supposed to be a mystery in the game — a character that haunted the narrative in a way that affected and didn't affect the lore of the gameplay at the same time. I remember reading so many theories on him just ‘cause it fascinated me despite hating every fanfic I ever came across on him.

I mean, come on — dividing himself into Sans and Papyrus? Like mitosis? That's not how asexual reproduction was supposed to work. Or any reproduction at all! That was genuinely one of the more ridiculous theories I had ever read about him. 

Even with that not counting, fans made him into such a big deal too — mostly as the father of the two skelebros, who was shown either as a clumsy fool or a heartless experimenting maniac. There was rarely any in-between with the fanon concept about him, except maybe his prowess at science and general magic. 

Even that was because it was supposed to be canon to the game, both his stats and former royal scientist status. 

But with how he was now…

“Mi— uh, Ko-Koray, are we, are we really friends? Did you really mean it?” 

…Yeah, he was a dork. 
A smart and cute dork, but dork nonetheless. 

》:✦:《

“So, the red souls are supposed to be of Determination?” I raised a brow as I looked at the blackboard, “But didn't you say all human souls have some in them anyway? What makes the red souls special enough to have that huge amount in them?” 

Benetton Gaster looked at me in surprise before nodding with a smile, “Good question, Koray. What do you think Wingdings, can you answer that?” 

“Um, is it because humans also have other traits but those are also in very small amounts?” 

The proud grin he gave his son definitely couldn't be mistaken, “Close enough, but no.” He turned to the blackboard as he drew another heart to represent a human soul. “Just like how we monsters have all the traits mixed in with love, hope and compassion, humans also have a small dosage of all the other traits — they have love, hope and compassion too but their traits are much stronger than ours. Do you know why?” 

“Because we are made up of magic and they are not?” It was weird talking about humans like that when I was one before. 

“Correct!” Benetton wrote it on the board, “Our magic circulation is better because of our simpler bodies but that also makes the concentration of magic in our souls weaker. Humans, on the other hand, have more flesh and biology that makes it harder for magic circulation but better for concentration in their soul.” 

“But,” Wingdings raised his hand this time, “Doesn't it make magic more difficult for them to use?” 

“Yes but wouldn't it be like how one glass of water is easier to drink at once than a whole bottle of it?” I threw out, making both skeletons look at me, “You know, the usage of concentration is always easier when it's more diluted and loose?” 

“Exactly, Koray,” Benetton grinned as his eyelights shined through his dark skull, “Very apt analogy indeed! Yes, Wingdings, humans do find it difficult to use magic but those who do, like the mages, are very, very strong.” 

“How strong exactly, Mister Gaster?” 

“Stronger than the whole underground, little one,” his voice was sombre as he admitted, “Even one human soul is 1000x times stronger than a monster's soul. If they know how to properly wield it, there's no one better at magic than them.” 

I hummed as I looked at their bummed out expressions, “I doubt it?” 

“You… doubt it?” Benetton looked at me in disbelief and curiosity, “Why so?” 

“Because magic needs practice and expertise,” I sat up straighter as I pointed at the board, “We monsters are more adept at both since we are made of it. But humans only have it concentrated in their souls. That means they need to be taught and anything that needs effort makes it difficult to control.” 

“But their magic is stronger,” Wingdings protested weakly, “Won't that make up for it?” 

“I don't think so,” I shake my head, “I think it'll just make it much harder to learn and control magic for them.” 

“That's… true,” Benetton sounded strangely breathless as he said that, “The war we had with humans had mages at the frontline. However, they were very limited in numbers in comparison to non-mage humans.” 

“Then why did we lose, Dad?” 

“Because even without magic, son, they had intent,” he wrote the word on the board and circled it twice, “And intent is strong enough to affect us monsters, who are more in-tune with our souls and magic.” 

“Does intent harm humans too?” I asked curiously, knowing well that physically it doesn't.

“Not like us, no,” Benetton tilted his head, “Though, it does affect them when it's strong enough and from someone close to them. It will harm their soul as well, leaving them prone to death from grief, pain and suffering.” 

Huh, so depression? 

“What about Monsters?” I threw out, “Are we prone to die from grief too?” 

“Not death per se, but yes,” his answer surprised me, “You'll lose your HP rapidly when you start feeling hopeless and your will to live decreases. It won't kill you, but it will leave you so close to death that even one small act of malicious intent can finish you off.”  He paused before looking back at us, “Well, that also includes your own malicious thoughts or actions towards yourself.”

A beat of silence followed his words as we processed what was just discussed. 

“So, Determination souls have other human traits too?” I asked back to our first question, not quite comfortable with what we just discussed. That was a lot to unpack and I didn’t quite have the mental capacity to do it at the moment, even scientifically.  

“Oh yes, that one,” Benetton wrote down on the board again, “Every human soul has other traits as well, but they don't show up as the main trait does because of their concentrated magic. Each SOUL trait has their own magic and sometimes, those traits overpower the other ones. This is the case with Red souls as well. Their concentration of determination is higher than any other human soul and that's why it overpowers all the other traits.” 

“How much higher, Mister Gaster?” 

“Enough to change the laws of the world, little one,” he joked, not knowing how fucking right he was, “Though, it's still very rare to have Red souls that bright to be able to do magic.” 

“Wait,” my brain reeled back at his words, “Determination souls are not susceptible to magic?” 

“Not really,” he admitted casually, “Not only are Red souls rare but they also need to have a lot of concentration of determination to pull off any magic. Instead, other souls like the Green ones are much more susceptible to magic even while being rare.” 

“Which are the most common souls in humans?” Wingdings asked curiously as he leaned on his notebook.

“Hm, patience and bravery,” Benetton replied back after a moment, “At least, those were the ones before and during the War.” 

“You fought in the war?” I asked in surprise, despite how I really shouldn't be. The smile he gave me in reply conveyed the same as well. 

Funnily enough, as it came to be, apparently Wingdings’ both parents (Benetton and Morta Gaster) played a key role in the war between Monsters and Humans. 

Benetton, the current royal scientist, was the head of innovation and science while his wife (mate?) Morta was the head of defense and magic weaponry — which was cool as shit, if you asked me. She was supposed to be the one who taught monsters how to develop their magic into an attack to keep humans far enough from slicing them through, especially given how weak monsters are to intent. 

But intent was useless if it couldn't get anywhere close enough to do the harm. 

“So!” Benetton rubbed the blackboard clean as we kids closed our notebooks and gathered our stuff, “How did you like our lesson today?” 

“It was very interesting!” Wingdings piped up, his body jumping with excitement as his eyelights twinkled, “Souls are very interesting and complex, Dad. Thank you for teaching us!” 

“They indeed are and you're welcome,” his smile widened as he turned to me, “And what about you, Koray? How did you like it?” 

“It's certainly enlu, uh, enlightening, yes,” Ugh, I hate how words fail me still, “Thank you for today's lesson, Mister Gaster!” 

“You're welcome, little one,” his skeletal hand rubbed my head gingerly, “And don't worry about your speech — you're doing much better than anyone of your age, alright? Just give yourself some time.” 

Something in me softened at his words, calming down as I realised that yes, maybe I was doing better than I thought. Maybe in regard to time and preparation too.

I knew I was in a game but that also means that I had the knowledge that others didn't. I could change things, make things better. Maybe I could somehow even stop the timeline mess that'd come to be. 

And maybe I do have time for that too — I mean, Sans and Papyrus weren't even born yet (or made yet?), given how their father was still a child. That means I still have over a generation to plan and work on, even if I refuse to accept some of the more outlandish theories. 

Now, all I needed to do was increase my knowledge and build my skill set. Maybe also confirm my theories, base a plan around them and start working on it! Yes. That’s it.

》:✦:《

You gotta be motherfucking kidding me! 

“Isn't my brother cute?!” Wingdings gushed as he showed me the photograph, “I never knew skeletons could be this chubby! Do you think Sans will still be like this when he grows up?” 

“Honestly? Maybe,” I said it partially because I could and a whole lot of because I was pissed at the universe, “I bet he'll be a short, chubby skeleton who loves to annoy everyone just because he can.” 

“Wait, why?” He looked at me in a part offence and part curiosity, “How do you know that?” 

“Because you are like that too, Dingus.” 

“Hey!”

Chapter Text

Koray was a weird monster. 
At least, to Wingdings she was. 

She was smart, observant and had a tongue as sharp as a whip — something that both he and his dad enjoyed bringing out of her whenever they could. Or else she’d be too quiet and lost in a corner she claimed for herself. 

She was very bright and could easily keep up with the father-son duo even when they gave her no context for the subject. She easily picked up the clues from the conversations or their surroundings and joined in whenever invited. 

The only thing that was troublesome about her was that she needed to be invited, or rather, dragged out.

“It's like she's in a shell, Mom,” Wingdings confessed to his mother one day, after his brother fell asleep in his bed, “Unless we pry it open out of her, she never lets it out. She always hides behind words that mean nothing.” 

And it was true. 
She talked a lot but rarely ever said anything about herself or what interested her. 

Instead, she always listened and observed, as if she wasn't part of the story. 

She always made herself small and scarce like that too, like she was afraid of being seen or heard. Or at least, like she thought no one was interested in listening or talking to her.

“She's a good girl,” his dad agreed when they were in the labs alone, “Maybe a bit shy, but she doesn't have a bad heart.” 

“I know, Dad, I know.” 

“Is that why you want to be her friend?” 

He nodded and answered honestly, “She called me her friend once and I want to continue that. I want her to feel better with me, open with me like mom is with you.” 

His dad gave him a curious look as his smile turned mischievous, “Like mom? Do you want what your mom and I have with Koray?” 

Wingdings paused, giving it a thought before shaking his head, “Not exactly, I think.” 

“Mm, too bad,” his dad teased him back, “And here I thought you finally found your soulmate!” 

The look Wingdings gave his dad only made the older skeleton laugh more that day.

》:✦:《

“Mom,” Wingdings pinched his baby brother's cheeks as he called out, “Do you think Sans will stay chubby like this when he grows up?” 

“We are skeletons, my dear,” his mom said with much amusement, “I don't think we can retain the initial ‘chubbiness’ even if we want.” 

“Even with magic?” 

“Mm, maybe with magic,” she admitted offhandedly, “Though, that'll take a lot of it unless we have a large pool of innate magic.” 

“Don't we all do?” 

“Not everyone, my dear,” her hand gently caressed her elder son's head, “Not everyone has two boss monsters like us as parents, you know?” 

“Is that why they don't have any last names?” 

His mom chuckled at his random but very relevant question, “Oh dear, you really are sharp, my boy.” She pressed a kiss gingerly over his head before planting another one on his baby brother's head, “Our family has last names because your dad and I are boss monsters and because of our achievements during the War.” 

“What about Koray?” He suddenly asked, “She doesn't have a last name.” 

“Her parents are given titles very recently, my dear,” she explained patiently, “Her mom Dara wasn't a Royal Advisor during the War, same with her dad, who is currently the Royal Healer.” 

Wingdings hummed, leaning back onto the sofa while his brother stared at him blankly, “What if I want to give her a last name?” 

His mom looked at him with a concealed smile. “And how would you do that? You're not the King.” She paused before suppressing another one, “Would you like to soulbond with her instead?” 

His sour expression made her burst out laughing. 

“No!” He denied for what would be the n-th time, “I don't like her that way! She is, she is,” he mused as he thought of the word, “Yes, she's like the baby!” 

“Oh? Your baby brother? You mean sister?” 

“Yes!” Wingdings nodded excitedly, making Sans giggle in his lap as he copied him, “She's like my sister and I, I, uh, want to adopt her! We can give her our name if she is in our family, right?” 

“Well,” mischief dripped from her every word, “Why not ask her parents first, hm?” 

With that thought in mind, Wingdings wrote it down in his register to remind himself to ask this when the time came. 

That was a very different thing that when the time did come, the answer was nothing short of hilarity at his expense, with lots of teasing for the next few decades or so. 

》:✦:《

“Koraaaaaaaaaaay!” Wingdings’ yell echoed through the labs in Hotland as he called for his best friend right as he entered, “Where are you?!” 

“Stop screaming, you dingus,” Koray yelled back from deeper into the lab, “I'm right here.” 

“Cool,” he ran towards her before skidding on the floor and stumbling over her body. The look she gave was so exasperated that it made him grin, “So, where's dad?” 

“Went out to get some materials for the machine he is building,” her voice sounded disinterested as always, and yet he knew how untrue that was. “Apparently, he has an idea for the magical electricity system you guys were talking about with the King.” 

“Wait, really?!”

“Yep,” she pushed him off her shoulder and into the tiles of the lab, “Remember when he said the geothermal energy of the mountain is really strong in Hotland? Well, he's planning to base the electrical system on it, possibly.” 

“Then we won't have to exhaust our magical energy to create light or fire!” Wingdings added enthusiastically from the floor, his grin a tad bit maniac, “That's AWESOME! How do you think we'll do that?” He got up and immediately jumped onto the nearby table with papers that most likely had the draft blueprints his dad was working on, “Wood or bricks definitely won't work on it, so maybe metal? But even then lava can melt through it — maybe we can infuse cold magic in it? What do you think?” 

“How about other types of metal? Or maybe go with some alloy?” She hummed as if she wasn't just suggesting something groundbreaking, “We can experiment with all the steel we have left from the human weapons rotting in the New Home. Oh, and maybe make an alloy out of it with, I don't know, the less relative metals we have?” 

“Platinum or Titanium?” 

“Eh, why not both?” 

“Would the alloy even be stable?” he asked just to test out how much thought she actually gave to it. 

“Should be,” Koray tilted her head back to look at him, “Or we can just make the base and the shell from those metals and make the inside with steel alloy. We have the latter in abundance though, so maybe that'll be better…” 

“That'll be, I agree,” Wingdings agreed as he plopped down on his friend again, despite her disgruntled murmurs at his action, “But that wouldn't stop the heating problem we're gonna have because of it. Many monsters live here too, you know?” 

“I know and that's actually a very big concern, yes,” Koray hummed as she gently rubbed his cranium just like his mother did, just hers felt more scratchy and good due to her scales. “What about infusing the metal with ice magic while making the alloy? Or maybe bring ice from Snowdin, if that doesn’t work out permanently?” 

“...how?” 

“Honestly? I don't know. Let's leave that to the adults.” 

“You know that's not how it goes—”

》:✦:《

“I'm sorry.” 

Wingdings looked up from his mother's dust spread across the Waterfall flowers, none of its traces visible anymore. 

“How many times do I have to say, Koray,” he couldn't help the small smile that twitched on his face, “It wasn't your fault.” 

“And how many times do I have to say, Dings,” her hands gently rubbed his shoulders, relaxing him from a stiff posture he didn't know he had, “I'm sorry this happened to you. I understand your pain,” her voice hitched as she said so, “And I regret it, just as you do. I… I'm sorry it happened to you, I'm sorry you have to face it like this. I'm sorry that's all I can say.” 

“Don't be like that,” Wingdings laughed, his eye sockets watering as his laughs slowly turned into sobs, “You're… you're suffering too. We are… I…” 

Words failed him as he fell down to his knees, crying in his silent best friend's arms.

That day, Wingdings cried for hours. 

He cried for his lost parents. 
He cried for his two younger siblings — one barely out of stripes and one just born into it. 

He cried for Koray and her baby sister.
He cried for her lost parents. 

And finally, he cried for himself.

He cried because of how the idea of CORE he built with his father ultimately took his life. He cried because of how his mother grieved while pregnant with his baby brother and lived just long enough to give birth. 

He cried because of Koray's parents' demise, who had followed his father for the inspection. He cried because he knew she was now left with a toddler sister he had no idea how to help with. 

He cried because he knew she couldn't. 
Because she had to be strong for him, his brothers and her sister. 

He cried because he genuinely loved his best friend for that and had no way to repay her, even with words. 

The only thing that soothed him was Koray's voice that day, giving him enough strength to face Sans and his new baby brother, Papyrus.

And he will always be indebted to her for that. 

Chapter Text

Time passed strangely as a monster. 
Or maybe it was just the reincarnated human in me talking. 

Since the first time I met Wingdings when I was almost 4 years old, all I've been doing is roaming around Hotland and sitting in labs for our ‘classes’, which were nothing but sessions on whatever we asked about. Not to mention, even the labs were different from what the game showed to be.

Anyway, we got our own registers and books from the library to study with, but the rest was always so random that I sometimes wondered if I was even studying at all. 

Then came the geothermal project that Benetton was so excited about. 

Since electricity was still not quite available in the underground, most of us operated with magically induced lights and fires that Asgore had helped establish just after the war. Its design was very close to the lanterns I used to see in old movies but the fire itself was made out of magic and was very hard to extinguish. 

The CORE, as Benetton started calling it after a discussion with Asgore, was supposed to be the ultimate source of electricity in the underground, along with fresh oxygen and clean water if his plans were anything to go by. Thus, the ‘core’ of the underground. 

Wingdings, obviously, was very much invested in this project, just like his father was. Not that his father wasn't carrying him around everywhere to involve him too. In fact, Benetton was crazy enough to ask me to accompany them as well until I denied them over a dozen times and clearly stated that engineering wasn't one of my interests. 

Wingdings, obviously, took it the hardest. 

“But Koray—” 

“Get out,” I scowled at the lanky but tall idiot who made weird faces at me while begging, “I have no interest in engineering, I already told you.” 

“But you were the one who suggested to us what materials to use! Don't you want to see it to the end?” 

I gave him a blank look, “No.” 

Unfortunately, that only made him whine even more. 

Putting Wingdings’ whining aside, the CORE building project took years to even begin. I was 13 years old when the blueprints were finalised and Wingdings was almost out of his stripes too by the time that came to be.

Not to mention, he was already starting his PhD by the next year to join his father in his labs, not that he needed it, but still. He was that brilliant and honestly, it wasn't a big surprise to anyone. 

“What subject are you thinking about studying?” Wingdings asked one day while we were having our lunch break at Muffet's, “Biology?” 

“Sure,” I shrugged, “Since psychology ain't that developed here anyway, I'll go with that.” 

“I don't quite see the point of psychology,” he admitted honestly, his eyelights dimming as if afraid of my reaction, “I mean, I know it's interesting to learn what makes people tick but we as monsters already know that. We can feel souls and magic unlike humans.” 

Eh, he wasn’t wrong. As a monster, it was very easy to understand others’ feelings and intentions if you just paid enough attention to their magic fluctuation and soul frequency. Went even better for those with whom you were close with, like family and friends. 

“I mean, yes, but it's not just about understanding the mindset or behaviour, Dings. It's about the why and the how behind the actions — and don't tell me soul traits are enough to explain that.” 

“But they are!” 

“They are not,” I argued back, “They are one of reason but not whole. They only show the driving force behind the mindset but not how their mindset came to be.” 

“I still don't see any use of it, though.” 

“There's none if you don't know how to use it,” I scowled at him as he stole a spider donut from me, “I want to learn because I think many monsters need someone to help them sit down and sort through everything they've experienced. And I'm talking especially about those who went through the War.” 

That was something I'd always had in mind, even when I was a human watching the playthrough. This only solidified further when I became a monster. 

“Anyway,” I sighed as I took a sip of his cider while he gave me a stink eye, “Since that isn't an option, magical biology it is!” I paused as I leaned back on my chair, “Eh, maybe microbiology too, depending on whether they give double majors or not.” 

“Just do microbiology next instead of putting both of them together,” Wingdings suggested casually as he yawned before downing his cider in own long gulp, “It barely takes what, 4-8 years? That's it.” 

I didn't say anything but the past-human in me really felt the disbelief that was uncommon to monsterkind. To be fair, monsters had a completely different lifespan than humans, so that was understandable. 

An average monster in the underground was estimated to live for 200 years. That was literally the age most monsters would live up to if they were to die by natural causes or ageing. And even then, it was an estimated average number. 

Some monster species, like skeletons, lizards and turtles, were on the higher end of that lifespan, with many living up to 3000 years without dusting. Again, this was a fairly generous estimation given the… current circumstances and the post-war crisis but it still stood ground. 

Gerson was the best example of it, after all. 
That old monster was already crossing 2200 in the upcoming few years. 

As for me — well, it depended. My father was a bird, who had an average lifespan of 900 years, and my mother was a lizard. So, somewhere in between 1000-1500 years? That was how long I was supposed to live. Unless, of course, I soulbonded with someone who had a higher lifespan than me.

And that was a very long time for anyone to be alive. 

“Still better than being a boss monster though,” I said out loud when I had first learned about our lifespans during one of the classes with Benetton, “Can't imagine living that long with all my friends and family passing away before me.” 

“That's a…” Benetton looked very uncomfortable yet surprised at my words, “Very realistic way of seeing it, Koray. Didn't know you felt like that about immortality.” 

“It's not actual immortality, is it, Dad?” Wingdings asked from his position on the laboratory floor, “It's just that they can't die from ageing or natural causes.” 

“That means they're immortal till killed… or reproduced,” I replied instead, “My point remains the same. Though,” I looked back at his father, “I wonder how that came to be. Is it because of their magic? Do boss monsters have a different type of magic that sustains their lifespan differently than the rest?” 

“Close, but not exactly,” Benetton answered patiently, “Boss monsters originate from humans, well, more like human and monster relationships. The children resulting from such relations are usually always monsters but with stronger souls than the rest. That's why they are known as boss monsters.” 

“Oh,” that was new information the game never explored, “What about the next generation? Would the boss monster's kids have the same lifespan?” 

“Nope,” this time, Wingdings answered me, “Mom said we'll have long lifespans, maybe even longer than our general species, but not the immortal-till-killed stuff.” 

“Wait, what?” I sat up straighter as I looked at the lanky skeleton beside me, “We? Your mother—” I looked at Benetton, who looked back at me with an amused look, “—is a boss monster!?” 

“I am too, dear Koray,” his amused grin made sense with his words, “Both my wife and I had one human parent who perished long ago. That's also why our body structure looks as humanoid as it does.” 

“Oh.” I felt breathless at this new information, “I, that's, wow.” I paused, processing it a bit more, “Does that mean your magic reserves are more than other monsters? Is that why Mrs Gaster was so strong against the humans? Do you think she would show me her attacks if I asked her nicely?” 

The only reply to several questions was a long laughing fit by both the father-son duo, who were more amused than offended. 

Though, Benetton later questioned why I didn't ask him to show his magic. 
My reply that there was a reason he was only the royal scientist did not make him happy at all. 

That was the day I realised where exactly Wingdings got his whining habit from.

》:✦:《

Sans was a very round baby. 
At least, that was the thought I had when I first met him. 

“So,” Wingdings asked as he carried his baby brother in his arms, “What do you think? Quite chubby for a skeleton, isn't he?” 

“He is,” I agreed softly, my eyes meeting Sans' eyelights as he blinked at me in wonder, “Cute.” Even though skeletons blinking still felt like a novelty to me. 

His older brother giggled in agreement as he tried to get Sans’ attention but to no avail. Somehow, those little white eyelights of his kept staring at me as if trying to read my face. 

“What happened, little guy?” I asked curiously, my voice gentle as I leaned towards him while his eyelights followed me religiously, “Have something to ask me?” 

He kept staring at me silently for a few moments before babbling loudly, as if answering my previous question. Wingdings and I shared a look over this before dissolving into laughter ourselves as Sans joined in. 

That wasn't quite how I imagined my first meeting with Sans would go — at least, not when I first realised I was in Undertale. I thought I would meet Sans as he was in the game — the whole prankster version of him, and definitely an adult. 

That changed when I met Wingdings.
He made me think I'll meet Sans as a baby either in a test tube in the lab or… or. 

I really did buy into all that fanon bullshit, huh? Damn. 
That was also the biggest reason I was unprepared to see Sans as Wingdings’ brother too, instead of a son. 

Oh well, no use crying over spilt milk. 

I looked at Sans as he looked back at me eye to eye. He barely weighed anything in my arms, despite me being barely 4 years older than him. 

…he wasn't just a character anymore, after all. 
He was a living, breathing person who shared the same space and reality as me. 

“What you thinking, little one?” I asked softly, almost in a whisper, as Sans kept staring at me silently, “Do you always stare like this at anyone new?” 

“Not usually,” his mother answered with an adoring smile, “This is the first time he's been serious like this actually!” Her eyelights slid up to meet mine before twinkling brightly, “Maybe he likes you!” 

“Not more than me!” Wingdings protested from the couch, making me roll my eyes while Sans babbled incoherently. 

It was later that I got to know that Sans was a very active baby who loved to babble a lot — something which he eventually started doing around me too. His intense stares never really went away, but they did transform into small tugs on my clothes and requests to carry him up later down the road. 

Well, it developed much further than that but it was much, much later that I realised that. 

Chapter Text

Body dysmorphia was one of the strangest experiences I had in both my lives, and that was saying something given that magic was real now. 

“You feeling alright, sweetie?” Mother asked me softly, which I just nodded to as I ate my breakfast because there was nothing I could say at the moment that would actually sound remotely fine. 

My skin felt too dry, scratchy. 
My head felt strangely naked, as if I was missing something despite never actually being born with hair in this life. 

I felt strange. 
As if I weren't in my own body. 
As if the body I was in wasn't my own and I possessed a weird… flesh carrier. 

My hands felt weird, hard and pointy as their ends curled into dull nail-like claws. Even though I had this body for almost a decade now, it still felt…

It was weird.
It was… it didn't feel like me even when I knew it was. 

And it wasn't the first time I felt like this but today was the first time I felt it this intensely. Maybe it was because of the dream I had last night of my human life. 

I dreamt that I was back in the hospital. My little sister was yapping beside me as she talked about what happened in her college while I worked remotely on my laptop. It was a day I remembered clearly because my mother brought in a cake to celebrate my sister's first paid internship. She even got special permission for me to eat it too, which was so unexpected that I almost cried. 

It was a bittersweet memory. 
Maybe more bitter than sweet since it made me realise how much I lost in both my lives. 

And now, as I was, I felt like my own body wasn't my own. 

My skin wasn't right, my hair was missing, my fingers were foreign — I wasn't how I was supposed to be. Even my heartbeat was absent and I just… 

“...I just don't belong here,” I whispered to myself as my eyes looked down at the lava underneath the hotland bridge, “I don't even know why I'm here.” 

“It's because I need you!” 

I jumped when I heard the unexpected voice, just turning to see Wingdings walking towards me with Sans in his arms. 

“Yeah!” Sans agreed loudly in that sweet childish voice of his, “We need you, ‘ray!” 

“I, uh,” I didn't know how to reply as the brothers just came up to me and hugged me tight, “...thanks, you two.” 

Wingdings was tall enough to already tower over me, his 13-year-old self was almost double my height — which wasn't quite surprising given how tall his father was. 

However, that didn't justify Sans’ height at all, who came almost to my shoulders despite only being 5 years old. What the hell. 

…if only I were in my past body, where I was taller and more slender than my current body now—

“You think too much,” Sans suddenly piped up, breaking me from my spiralling thoughts, “Don't think alone, please.” He said so sweetly, his permanent grin looking soft and sad around the edges as he pressed it against my shoulder. 

“I… can't, my dear,” I gently caressed his head while Wingdings gave me a soft look before patting my head.

“It's okay,” the older skeleton said with a similar smile to his brother, “We'll be here anyway. Just talk to us whenever you feel bad.” 

“Yes!” Sans enthusiastically nodded from his position squished between me and Wingdings, “You belong with me!” 

“You?” The older brother gave the toddler an affronted look, “Shouldn't it be us? You're trying to steal my best friend, little Sans?” 

“Yes,” Sans said with such conviction that Wingdings started sputtering. 

“Wha, that's, that's not how—!” 

Laughter bubbled from my lips as I bursted out in the humour of the whole situation. My body quivered with laughter as both brothers held me in their arms and joined in my laughter after a few moments. 

It felt good to be wanted like this. 
It felt… 

It felt like I had a space to return to. Like I was theirs. 
Like they were my place to be. 

》:✦:《

“My mother's pregnant.” 

“What the fuck—” 

“Sans, language,” Wingdings didn't even look up from his thesis as he said that, “And Koray, please don't throw out news like that as if you're talking about what's in your coffee.” 

I shrugged as my grin widened at Sans’ unimpressed look at both of us, “Well, my coffee definitely doesn't have a baby in it!” 

“Stars, can you be serious?” Sans gave me a look that only made me grin more, “You're gonna be a big sister? When's Aunt Dara due? Isn't the pregnancy for lizard monsters different from the usual process?” 

“Yep,” I sipped my coffee as I leaned on my desk, the white table of the lab reflecting my pink scales brilliantly, “She's supposed to lay an egg in a few weeks and then we'll take turns taking care of it since it's the prime time to bond with the baby now rather than later when they're here.” 

“How long does the egg stage last?” 

“One year,” Wingdings answered, adjusting the tape over his glasses as his eyelights skimmed over the document, “Give or take a few weeks.” 

“Yep.” 

“And how are you feeling about that?” Sans asked tentatively, his eyelights focused on my face in a similar fashion to how he used to do when he was much younger, “You okay with it?” 

“Why wouldn't I be?” I asked curiously, “I'm not that mentally unstable, please.” 

“No one said that,” Wingdings finally looked up from his paper to give me a look. “He's just worried because of how you feel sometimes. You know, your ‘I don't belong here’ bullshit.” 

I hummed as I mused how to reply, “And you don't worry about me?” 

“Nope,” his answer made both Sans and I look at him in disbelief, “I'll be there when you feel like that anyway. I'll just keep annoying you until you one day stop feeling that way.” 

I rolled my eyes as my lips quirked into an involuntary smile. 

“Dingus.” 

“Knucklehead.” 

“Goober.” 

“Birdbrain.” 

I gave him a look at that one, “Shut up, you fart noodle.” 

Sans choked on his donut. 

“Where did that even come from?” Wingdings looked as if he was contemplating whether to laugh or cry. 

“Oh, don't worry, I have even more of those,” I gave him a devious grin, “You turd burglar.” 

Sans laughed so hard that he almost fell out of his chair before I grabbed him by his lab coat's collar and dragged him back. 

“O-Oh Angel,” he wheezed again at Wingdings' face, “That can't get better.” 

“Really? What about this,” I grinned, “Bonehead, numbskull, buttmuncher, dickweed—” 

“Oh my Angel, stop,” Wingdings genuinely sounded concerned even if his face gave away his amusement, “Where did you even, how do you even know all these? Who taught you these?!” 

“Your face just inspired me, Butthead.” 

“I don't even have those to begin with—” 

That was the day Sans almost dusted between my list of ridiculous insults and Wingdings’ existential crisis over my foul vocabulary. 

》:✦:《

“Wow,” Sans leaned in to look at the egg in my lap, “They're beautiful. I didn't know eggs could be this big.” 

“Monster eggs can be,” I hummed as I caressed the yellow and brown spotted egg in my lap, “Though, she did start barely the size of my hand, the first day.” 

“She?” 

“But it's been barely a week?” 

I gave both brothers an amused grin, “Yes, she,” I decided to reply to Sans first, “I have a feeling it's a girl, don’t ask me why. I just do. And yes, she's grown this big in a week.” 

“Is that normal for lizards?” Wingdings asked as he leaned in beside Sans, both brothers now kneeling and leaning in towards the egg in my lap, “Or is it because of the mix magic?” 

“It's normal for lizards and mix magic doesn't quite affect the growth much at this stage,” I hummed as I tilted my head, “In fact, as far as Papa told me, her growth will only be affected once she's out of the egg. And it'll be in the nature of height and stature and all that.” 

Both hummed as they looked at the egg before turning to look at each other and then at me. 

“Were you like this too?” Sans asked hesitantly, almost looking shy, “I mean, an egg? Before you were… uh.” 

“Yep,” I replied to spare him the embarrassment, “Mamma said I was a blue and yellow egg, for some reason.” 

“Sounds pretty.” 

“Anything blue sounds pretty to you, Sans.” 

“Or maybe it's just you,” he said absentmindedly before his head caught up with his words and his whole skull blushed a pretty pink, “Uh…” 

I could only laugh as Wingdings raised an eyebrow ridge towards his younger brother, my whole body quivering at Sans' usual awkward humour.

Poor guy was still developing humour as a 14-year-old teenager and it was quite unfortunate that it somehow came out awkwardly like this about 80% of the time. His unease around anyone who wasn't his family and of the opposite sex only added to the dilemma he was facing. 

“Sans,” Wingdings started as seriously as he could, “You need to up your game if you ever want to—” 

“Stop it, Dings.” 

We both cackled as Sans looked like he was ready to either hit his brother with a bone attack or just dig a hole in the house and bury himself in it. 

“Moving on,” Sans decided enough was enough, “Would you lay an egg when you have kids too?” 

“When I have kids?” I decided to pull his leg a bit, “Who said I wanted any?” 

He looked startled at my answer as his eyelights looked at the egg in my lap before looking back up at me, “But, but you love kids?” 

Huh? I blinked at his answer.
“How did you know, Sans?” 

“Anyone with functioning eyes or even eyelights can see that, Koray,” Wingdings rolled his said eyelights as he finally got up, “Even your voice becomes softer when you talk to and about kids. Don't pretend now that you don't.” 

“Eh,” I shrugged as I looked back at Sans, “Yes, I'll lay eggs too if I have kids.” I paused, before tilting my head, “At least, that's what I've been told. There's still a low chance that I might have to carry the child instead if my partner's magic is much different and complicated than mine.” 

“There are very few monsters like that,” Sans replied, his eyelights back to those intense gaze I was too familiar with at this point, “But what if that happens?” 

I shrug again, “I don't mind carrying them. Though, why are you asking?” 

Sans immediately looked away, his face flushed as his eyelights met his brother's, who looked strangely smug about something. 

“Oh, it's just—” 
Unfortunately, Wingdings was interrupted as my mother took that exact moment to come back home.

I didn't quite notice the relieved look Sans had at that moment but whenever this incident was recited in the future, it always came up one way or another.

》:✦:《

“Congratulations on your pregnancy, Mrs Gaster!” I grinned as I hugged the older skeleton, her hugs as warm as always, “Can't wait to meet the little one already!” 

Morta chuckled as she cupped my face in her hands, “Such a flatterer, I swear!” She hugged me again, “And I can't wait for you to help me with this one too.” 

Laughter echoed through the room at her words as I generously pointed out I didn't do shit when Sans was born. At most, I hung around and carried him whenever I visited but nothing else.

“Oh please,” Morta disagreed, however, “Your visits were always such a welcoming break for me! You were the only one who could make Sans calm down and sleep instantly.” 

“Oh, with those lullabies, I remember,” Wingdings added with bright eyelights, “Will you sing them again for our new sibling? Stars, do I miss them.” 

I couldn't help but blush at his honest praise as I mustered my best glare to shoot at him. 

“And remember the way Koray used to call Sans little when she was a teeny tiny baby herself?” Benetton added unhelpfully, making me glare at him instead.

“Hey!” 

“Where's that ‘little’ one now?” Benetton ignored me, looking around to find Sans, who ran away the moment this conversation started. Smart bastard. 

“Ran and hid away,” Wingdings answered after a moment, “He had the foresight to know he'll be teased mercilessly if he stayed when Koray came.” 

There was something in the way he said that that made me feel like I was missing some context. Even the mischievous looks and smiles they shared made me question it but I wasn't quite able to verbalise it before they changed the topic on Papyrus’ inevitable arrival.

And honestly? I was actually really excited about it. 

Papyrus was my favourite character back in my last life and Stars, had I waited to meet him. 

And to think he'll be 2 years younger than Alphys…

Oh, the surprise. 
Though, not as big as the day I learned what my parents were planning to name my baby sibling — ‘Alphys’. 

The same Alphys who was to become the royal scientist in the future after Wingdings… well. 

Now, she was my sister. 
My baby sister, who was a ball of yellow chubbiness with nothing but adorable energy and sweet babbles. 

Stars, was she cute. 
She was the most adorable little shit I'd ever seen and somehow she adored me back and I couldn't just not love her. The fact that she sought me even more than our parents had nothing to do with it. 

“What? Thinking about your sister?” Sans asked once his family was distracted enough to not tease him to hell and back.

“...am I that easy to read?” 

He chuckled before shaking his head, “Nah. You just get this look on your face when you think about Alphys.” 

“Oh? What look?” 

“Like you'll give your life for her,” his answer was so blunt that it stunned me but he just shrugged at my reaction, “Don't look at me. You just get a very… loving but fierce look in your eyes when you talk or think about her.” 

I hummed as I processed this information, knowing damn well that he was right. 

I'd always been an elder sister. 
Let it be my past life as a human or this one as a monster. 

It was ingrained in me to act like an older sibling and I still did it even when I didn't have one for 19 years in this life. And now that I do, I know it'll only just increase. 

“Of course I do,” I agreed without a fight, “I love her.” I smiled at the soft look Sans gave me, “She's my baby sister after all. And you'll know how that feels soon enough, now that you're gonna be an elder brother too.” 

“Sure,” he agreed back easily, “I bet my little sibling will be the brightest and coolest.” 

“Oh, he will,” I said without much thought until Sans gave me a knowing look.

“Got a feeling about it?” 

My only reply to him was a weak smile and shrug, “Maybe,” I looked away first, “Stars, you're mad observant, Sans.” 

“Well,” his voice sounded lower and heavier than before as he continued, “You've gotta be when your friend is as worrying as you are.” 

Unfortunately, by the time I turned to question him about it, he had already joined his family in a conversation about the nursery. 

》:✦:《

Fate was a shitty thing. 
Especially when it didn't even leave you with your parents' dust in the end. 

Life just took away my parents from me and my sister completely. 
Without any traces left except in their home and others' condolences. 

Even worse was to see my friends’ lives crumble, with their mother losing herself to grief after her soulmate's untimely demise. 

“Koray,” Wingdings looked so tired as he stared at the blueprints of the very project that resulted in his father's death, “I… Was there anything I could've done to stop it? To save them?” 

“No,” I replied delicately, making sure to keep my emotions out of my voice, “There was nothing you could do, Dings.” 

“Even to save your parents?” 

“Even to save my parents.” 

“And… and my mother?” He whispered, as if praying to me for forgiveness, “Can I… do you think there's anything I can do to stop her? To stop from losing her?” 

The only thing I could do was to grip his shoulder in answer. 

“...can I really not?” He begged again, his eyelights already telling me he knew the answer to his own question, “Can I really not stop her from falling down?” 

“No,” I gave him the honest and frankly the hardest answer,  “No, you can't, Dings. No one can. The only reason she hasn't perished yet is because of the baby and,” I took a deep breath to stabilise my emotions, “And we have time to make a plan around it. To, to save the baby, at least.” 

And so we did. 
We made a plan, we arranged the funerals and… we prepared for an upcoming birth and another funeral. 

It was hard. 
Scratch that, it was torturous. 

I thought Papyrus’ birth would be the hardest part but no, it was Morta's last request. 

Her request was to visit Waterfall, a place she loved to visit with her soulmate. Bringing her there and accidentally finding an echo flower with a conversation with Benetton broke them down, making it even harder than I ever thought it would. 

The way her light faded, the way she… turned into dust. Right in front of us.

It would always affect me till the end of my time.
I knew it would affect Sans the same way too, especially when he looked ahead with nothing but a blank look. 

And when Wingdings cried, all I could do was hold him and sit with him for hours. Silent and useless with words, as he mourned for everything he and his brothers lost. 

Sans joined us too somewhere in the middle, his own eye sockets watering as he mourned with us, within our arms. 

His cries were somehow even more haunting than Wingdings, mostly because of how silent they were. Not a sound of sorrow, but still filled with endless and wordless dripping pain. 

I never cried — I couldn't cry. 

And yet, they never judged me for it. 

They cried beside me and trusted me with their tears. 
And for that, I'd always love and protect their trust in me. 

Chapter Text

“Koray,” Sans’ voice was the quietest I'd ever heard him be, “Do you… Do you think this will get better?” 

He didn't clarify what ‘this’ meant, but there wasn't any need for it either. 

“I don't know,” I answered honestly, “I know it'll get… less painful because we'll get used to it but I don't think the pain ever stops.” I looked around their home, each corner of it layered with memories of the whole family of skeletons I came to know and love, “And eventually, one day, we'll get better too.” 

“Will we really?” His eyelights met mine. 

“I hope we will,” I said softly, despite knowing that a pain like this, losing both your parents together is just… it's beyond difficult to ever move on from it. 

I hated how it was coming from my own personal experience too, let it be my past life's father or this life's parents.

“You should stay,” Sans gently offered, his expression begging without the words, “I, you… no, none of us should stay alone at this moment. After what happened with mom.” 

I reached out, meeting his hand halfway as I engulfed his gloved hand in both of mine, “I can't,” I let my voice and expression show my unfiltered emotions, “Alphys… she's at my neighbours’ house and I—” 

“Stay with us,” Sans begged outright this time, “Bring Alphys with you and just… we can live together, and the school will be nearer too—” 

“Sans,” I squeezed his bony hands, making him look at me with the saddest look I've ever seen on anyone, “I… we can't. You know we can't. There's no space here.” 

“We can move to a bigger house—” 

“Sans, you can't just—” 

“Please,” his voice wavered, “Please, Koray. I… I can't be alone right now. And Wingdings… he just. Papyrus is also just born and I can't. I can't see him right now, not alone.” 

The pain in his voice echoed in a way that left me feeling hollow. I knew he was asking me to stay for Papyrus but I also knew it was more than that. 

“...I can handle myself, Sans,” I admitted softly, seeing his attempts for what it was, “You don't have to always look out for me.” 

“I want to,” he didn't even deny it as he removed his gloves and intertwined his hand with mine, his slightly cold bony hands grounding me to reality, “Please, stay with me tonight.” 

And I did. 
I didn't have enough energy to say no, despite seeing the reason behind it.

Or maybe because of it. 

It kept my mind off unsavoury thoughts, especially when I held little Papyrus in my arms. He was one fussy child with big eyes and loud babbling. And even as a newborn, he was big enough to make him look at least a few months old. 

He was like a little Sun: bright, cheery and loud. 

His presence kept me preoccupied enough before the actual morning started and I had to leave. 

Even so, Sans refused to let me leave alone. He took me home, followed me through to bring Alphys back home, before staying to play with her too. 

He was tired too, and I could see it. 
But somehow, he still had a spark of something (worry? hope?) that kept him there with me till Wingdings finally called him back. 

It wasn't even a few minutes after he left that his messages came in, making me smile for the first time in a while and reply back to him just as religiously. 

Maybe it was this care that kept me afloat in that time of crisis. He kept my sanity preserved one text at a time and I genuinely couldn't be more grateful than that. 

》:✦:《

“Are you thinking about relocation?” 

I shook my head as I closed the book on my table, “No, Alphys likes living in New Home and honestly? The school is there too, so it's just easier to continue living there.” 

“Even with… all the memories?” Wingdings asked softly, as if asking the question to himself too. 

I smiled at him as I patted his arm, “Running away is not going to help anyone, Dings. Shifting away will not erase what happened. It'll just make it harder to cope with their loss while also adjusting to everything new.”  

He stayed quiet before nodding, “Yes,  you're right,” his voice was more resigned than I'd ever heard, “I… we need to move on together, as a family.” He smiled at me, “And moving away from you would be counterproductive to that.” 

His words made my eyes water as I gave a weak laugh, “Don't be like that.” 

“Denying the truth doesn't change its status, Koray.” His voice was low but held strong conviction, “You're my family, just as Sans and Papyrus are. Alphys is too, so don't hesitate to come to us.” He paused, hesitating before finally saying, “I know Sans already asked and your reply to his request but, well, we wouldn't mind if you moved in with us.” 

“You know I can't.” 

“Why not?” 

“Because,” My voice wavered as I wondered what I should even say. That our future wasn't supposed to be like this because I saw it in a game? That I was still unsure how to change it and not fuck it up to make it worse? 

“Because we both need space to grieve,” I opted to tell the half-truth instead, “To heal, to grow and to be ourselves.” His hand found my head when I looked away, “It's not like we live far away anyway or I'm going anywhere from your lives.” 

And that was the truth. 
I'd always be there for them, even if it kills me. 

Even if I had to erase everything as I knew it. 

And my first step to that was taking the mantle of Royal Healer that my father left behind — a figurehead position with no real work aside from minor healing here and there. 

Wingdings also succeeded his father as the new Royal Scientist, his first project the CORE itself for which his father perished while working on. However, unlike his father, he was cautious, eager and almost hasty.

There was a desperation in his actions, as if he couldn't wait to get this project off his hands. 

I never questioned him, though. 
How could I? I already knew why. 

We both knew why. 
And we both were still healing from it. 

Our only solace in all this was our younger siblings and their very existence. And maybe each other too. That's what gave us the hope for something better. Something to look forward to.

》:✦:《

What I hate the most about changes was when they came suddenly. 

Sudden enough to uproot your life and leave you comparing the stark difference between the before and after that didn't exist until recently. 

For me, those were the worst kind of changes. 

Because I could see how much it affected Wingdings — how he wasn't the same, sweet and awkward skeleton anymore. 

To be fair, he was still awkward, but now he was also obsessed with work. There was an edge of desperation to every project he worked on, as if he was trying to find something in them. 

“What are you trying to find?” I asked one day when we were alone in the labs.

“What?” His voice relayed his confusion while his eyelights still focused on the test tubes in his hand.

“Your projects,” I pointed out patiently, “Working hard is good but you just, you work as if that's the only purpose you have left.” 

Maybe there was something in my voice, or maybe it was my words themselves, that made Wingdings pause before he set aside the test tubes to their respective stands. 

“I,” he frowned as he hesitated, “It's not like I don't have any other purpose. That'll be untrue of me to say that but,” he looked at me directly, “I just have a main objective now. One that is… different from Dad's.” 

I let the silence fall when he didn't continue, letting him process his thoughts before he continued again after a while.

“You know how he wanted to build the CORE, right?” He pointed at the blueprints on the wall, “Center of Reusable Energy. We've already figured out how to work that one and its building is going smoothly too. In fact, if my calculations are right, we'll have the entire system connected by the end of this year!” He said with a cheerfulness that only reached his voice, “And yet, when I was done with that, all I felt was… dread, you know? Dread of not knowing what to do next. Like, like I was only the royal scientist in name and I… had no objective of my own.” 

“Did you find your own one now?” 

“Yes,” he immediately smiled, “And you know what it is?” Wingdings smiled as he looked right into my eyes, “To see the stars.” 

“Huh?” I looked at him confused, “Wait, you mean getting out of the Underground?” 

“Yes, but no,” he chuckled as he leaned back on his chair, “I meant what I said. To see the stars — for Sans to see the stars,” the adoration in his voice was undeniable as he talked about his brother, “We have the whole celling in Waterfall fixed with similar structure to mimic the stars but I know how unsatisfied Sans feels with them still. I've seen how longingly he looks at them and I, I want to give him that. At least, in my lifetime, I do.” 

“Don't speak like that, idiot,” I scolded him weakly, making the said idiot chuckle, “Don't you dare insinuate something negative like that.” 

“Death is inevitable, Koray. I'm just insinuating the inevitable.” 

And Stars, didn't I know that. 
Yet, still, it ached to think about it or even hear it like that.

Especially since this was exactly how he was supposed to die. Working till he fell into his own invention. 

“Just, just don't.” Was the only thing I could weakly say. 

The expression Wingdings made let me know exactly how much my words affected him, and how he knew I felt it too. 

Maybe we still need more time to heal.

》:✦:《

“Sans, tell your brother to properly wear his tie or else I'm not letting him leave the house,” I threatened as I fed Papyrus his bottle. “You are not going out like that to meet King Asgore!” 

“Sans, tell Korey to tie it herself if it bothers her so much!” 

The only thing the traitor Sans did was snort at his brother's horrendous joke before noticing the face I was making.

“What?” He asked with twinkling eyelights, “Did you knot like the joke? It left me in stitches.” 

“Oh, Stars, off with it, the two of you!” I swatted both the brothers on their craniums one by one, watching in dissatisfaction as the two idiots still giggled.

“Why,” Wingdings looked at me with a mischievous look, “Are our jokes too knotty for you?” 

“Oh my Angel.”

“Maybe you should stop Dings, or else she'll never hang around us again.” 

“Stop it, you two!” I swatted them on the head again, almost jolting Papyrus in my arms. Fortunately, he didn't mind much since he was done with his bottle. 

Though, he did mind when they started punning again. 

“Looks like our dear Koray couldn’t handle the tie-dye drama,” Wingdings looked at me before chuckling at the deadpan look I gave them. 

However, before I could say anything, Papyrus babbled very loudly in my arms. It startled me enough to make me jump before looking at the disgruntled face of the babybones.

“Aww, baby bro, no need to be so strung up, we are just tying our best!” 

Papyrus started babbling again with a frown on his face, his arms flailing around as if scolding his elder brothers for their disgraceful jokes. Though, both his brothers looked more amused than anything. I knew I did too. 

“Yes, tell them!” I encouraged with no less amusement, “Tell these two rascals how bad their repetitive jokes are!” 

“Aww, don't say that. Our jokes really are tie-riffic if you just—” Sans punned again when Papyrus loudly interrupted him, his voice filled with righteous anger that made everyone stop and listen to his incoherent babbles that looked particularly targeted towards Sans. 

By Stars did the two brothers look absolutely delighted at his reactions too, especially Sans, who couldn’t stop grinning ear ot ear (if he were to have any). 

Unfortunately, as I’d come to realise later, that was the day the two elder Gaster brothers unanimously decided that tormenting me and Payrus with their equally horrible puns was their go-to pastime and guilty pleasure that they should definitely feel very guilty about.

Chapter Text

How can you adjust to someone's loss when your whole life was based around them? I wondered that daily when I lost my parents in this life. 

I never thought I'd lose them this early, especially given our lifespans. That's why I never even bothered to imagine the ‘what if's. 

Not like I wanted to, either. 
Nor was I too used to wondering about such things. 

In my past life, I was expected to be the one to die first. That was what I was told and I had accepted it long before I even made any formative memories. 

To outlive my father was the biggest surprise and most tragic memory of my past life. Never thought it would happen to me again in this life, with both parents this time. 

“Ko-Koray,” a gentle tug on my apron grabbed my attention as I looked away from the pan, “Wh-What are you ma-making?” 

“Hamburger steak with water sausages, my dear,” I reached out to pat the small head of my baby sister, “Want to help me cook?” 

Her quick nod made me chuckle as I quickly covered the sizzling steaks in the pan and lifted Alphys in one arm. Her giggles made me laugh too as I gently placed her on the kitchen counter and asked her to help me make the ‘special’ sauce for our steaks.

Alphys was an adorable child. 
Her laugh, her tail, her little snout — everything about her was just so perfect and adorable that I couldn't help but gush over her. 

She looked so much like our mother that it just made me love her even more. Unlike me, she had our mother’s tail, her head shape and even the body structure that I had skipped somehow. 

Not to mention, she was the cutest and smartest kid I'd ever seen and I wasn't saying it just cause I was her sister. 

Even Wingdings agreed with my assessment about her intelligence. 

“Now, stir it gently to avoid getting it on yourself,” I guided her gently, letting her do the mixing herself as I flipped the steaks in the pan. 

She followed my instructions carefully, her face lighting up when we taste-tested the sauce as it came out great.

“Mm, tasty, right?” I grinned as she nodded again, “See? You cook so well, Alphys sweetie. Good job!” 

Her face turned red as she shyly grinned at me, her arms coming to hug me naturally as I returned it after placing the bowl away from our sign of affection. Better safe than sorry, after all. 

It's funny how Alphys was just as shy as her game counterpart, especially since every other canon character I met yet were very different from whatever I remember from Undertale. 

Especially Sans and Asgore. 

Like, for Asgore, he was as gentle as I expected him to be, but he was just as stubborn, if not more. Not to mention, he also was strict where he wanted to be — not at all the doormat Undertale had led me to believe. Or maybe it was just Undyne's rants in the game that made me believe that, I don't know anymore. 

As for Sans, well, he existed just to defy my expectations at this point. 

He wasn’t exactly lazy — well, at least not at the level he was in the game. He didn't bother with unnecessary tasks but he wasn't lazy enough to not pick up after himself. 

In fact, he was relatively cleaner than Wingdings, who created a giant mess wherever he worked. Papers scribbled with his shit handwriting trailed after him whenever he went out. Many times, Sans even helped me clean after that big dingus. 

Don't get me started on the other things I noticed about him, especially the way he talked. I know all three brothers (and maybe their parents too? I don't know) were named after fonts (unknowingly maybe??) but Sans held none of that lowercase feeling the game depicted. 

Well, to be fair, talking was much different here in real life than in the game. 

Unlike the game, or my previous life in fact, we didn't quite speak English or any human language. No. We spoke in what we called ‘monster speak’ or ‘soul speak’, in its direct translation, which was nothing but intent and magic produced at certain frequency to give the tone and voice. 

In other words, it wasn't as much of a spoken language as it was a magic frequency felt through its intent. The most anyone could hear was different types of humming that were comparable to the game's ‘sounds’ each character was given, as far as I could remember. 

That's why it took me a good few years to learn how to pronounce or ‘broadcast’ my intent properly without messing up. The accents, in fact, were mostly different frequencies of magical humming or shortened intents, which were very interesting to observe. 

As for Sans, he didn't have anything that could portray his iconic ‘lowercase’ way of speaking. And I couldn't quite observe Papyrus on the same since he hadn't started talking yet. 

Wingdings, on the other hand (no pun intended, please), had a very strange frequency that made him sound gibberish half the time if you weren't used to him already. The number of times he had to slow himself down for the other person to even understand him was hilarious. 

Another thing that I found weird about the skeletons (or rather, Sans) was their blushing. 

Sans blushed red. 
Or rather, pink but my point still stands. 

I distinctly remember seeing fanarts of him having blue blushes (found them very unique too, at the time). But those came out to be very inaccurate, which wasn't surprising at all, seeing my luck with those fan theories so far. 

I remember asking Wingdings about it once and all I got was that his whole family blushed red and it wasn't affected by the colour of their magic.

“I really don't know why,” he had said with amusement at my sour expression, “We don't have any other skeleton monsters to confirm, so I can't even say if it's just characteristic of my family or not.”

“Do you guys have blood too?” 

“What? No,” he gave me a look, “We're not humans, Koray. Just because our ancestors were, doesn't mean we are too.” 

“It was literally your grandparents, please.” 

“One in each set. Not all four of them.” 

To be fair, I know it was a dumb question but I distinctly remember reading something about Sans bleeding in the genocide route and I couldn't help but ask about it. Or maybe it was ketchup? 

I really should've just sucked it up and watched the genocide route while I was at it. Jacksepticeye had even uploaded the route in the same playlist too, if I remember it correctly. 

Well, what's done was done. 

All I could do now was make food for my baby sister and drop the leftovers at the skeletons’ house because Stars know how well Wingdings knows how to cook. Which was absolutely none. And all Sans could make was quiches stuffed with whatever leftovers were with them at the time. 

Better not risk any one of them burning the house down even before Papyrus was old enough to do it himself. 

》:✦:《

Time passed just as it always did.
One day at a time, before it was a whole week, following a month I never knew we could go without them. 

Time trudged on, regardless of those it left behind.
And so did we, to avoid drowning in the flow. 

“You alright there, ‘Ray?” Sans placed a cup of coffee in front of me, his eyelights looking at the mess around us gingerly.

“Why, doesn't it look like it?” 

“Not with the mess, no,” he answered back with much more concern than was necessary, “You sure you doin' well, bud?” 

I placed my head on the table, feeling it's cool surface on my forehead, “I am, don't worry,” I sighed, knowing damn well my words weren't much of an assurance, “It's just, the exams, you know? Not to mention, Alphys is going to start school this year too and I just, I don't know what to do about it.” 

Sans gave me an understanding look as he sat down on the floor of my room, making me giggle before I joined him too. 

My room was one of the bigger ones in the two-storey house, its one side covered with closets to the wall that had both my and (for now) Alphys’ clothes. The other side had my bed against the wall, while the adjacent walls had the balcony leading to my room. 

Only my study table was right beside the door to my room, making it hard to sit on the table when someone was already in the chair. 

“She'll be skipping grades too, I bet,” I smiled wryly as Sans gave me a look, “And it's going to be so difficult for her to study at a higher grade without any peers her age. You know how that feels, right?” 

Among the three of us, Sans was the one who went to school despite skipping quite a few grades. He didn't want to do homeschool, not to mention that his father didn’t have the time to do so either. And, unfortunately, while Wingdings and I could technically help him with that, neither of us had our degrees yet to really do so either. 

Sans nodded as his hand gently grabbed mine, his phalanges slowly rubbing my scaly hands in familiar circular motions. 

“How about homeschooling?” He suggested, “Dings got his PhD and you got your bachelor's in magical biology too. What about it?” 

“Dings is the royal scientist now, Sans,” I sighed as I leaned towards him subconsciously, “He has more things to do than entertain my sister.” I gave him a look as I continued, “Same with you. Don't you pretend I don't see how much lurking around the labs you're doing nowadays. And I know it's not just because you came to share lunch with Dings too.” 

“You got me there,” His grin raised at one corner to give it more of a slant, “Playing the scientist like my big bro, y’know.”

“Which field? Astrophysics only or are you planning on adding another bachelor's before the master's?” 

“Heh, I think one bachelor’s enough for me,” he gave me a look that looked somewhere between pride and disbelief, “Not everyone wants to study two fields like you do.” 

“Hey,” I shoved him lightly in mock offence, “Microbiology is interesting too! Even if there isn't much we have figured out about it yet.” 

And that was true. 
Unlike my past life, the underground had limited knowledge in some subjects, including biology — mostly when it came to humans and microbes. We had some idea of the singular cellular organisms, but not as extensively or detailed I vaguely remember studying back when I was a human. 

Though, that just meant I had the opportunity to test and develop that field here instead. 

Sans gave me his signature dopey look, his eyes hooded as he put his chin on his hand, “Nah, I know you'll figure more ‘bout it.” His grin widened, “Then you can write a book and increase the syllabus for everyone else.” 

I snorted at his words and how similar they were actually to my own plan, “Sure. You'll be the first one I'll ask to proofread.” 

“Anything for you, ‘Ray,” he said in an utmost serious tone, making something in me stir that I wasn't quite sure of yet, “But you really didn't answer me — what about you? Why ain't you jumping into homeschooling your sister?” 

“Well,” I hesitated, wondering if I should tell him.

Sans raised an eyebrow ridge at me, “Are your duties as royal healer troubling you?” 

“No, no,” I sighed, “I, I'm actually thinking about changing my career.” I looked at Sans, who was looking back at me with interest and curiosity, “I just, I know the title royal healer pays well but it's just that — a title. A figurative head that doesn't feel fulfilling. I loved my father, I still do, but I just can't continue at the job only because he had it before me.” 

“Has the council been treating you unfairly?” 

“No, no, no,” I shake my head at his blank look, his eyelights gauging my expressions for any speck of lie, “They treat me nicely. Maybe a little too nicely, like I'm some victim or damsel in distress.” I sighed again, rubbing my face with my hands, “I just, I want a new beginning, Sans. A clean slate where I can stand on my own capabilities and not out of pity for my parents' death.” 

“And what are you planning for that?” He asked casually, as if I didn't just say something that could uproot my family's financial stability. 

“I'm thinking about teaching,” I admitted hesitantly, “As you said, microbiology is still not explored much and I already got my degree in magical biology. I'm thinking about wrapping up my bachelor's quickly and applying for a master's so that I can teach at the school for a while.” I paused as I suddenly realised, “Huh, maybe I can teach my sister there too and keep an eye on her, how about that?” 

“You sure on that?” Sans asked tentatively, “Studying and teaching, then coming home and handling the food too — it can get hectic for you.” 

“Nothing a new routine won't resolve,” I admitted honestly, tilting my head as I mused out loud “All I need to do is plan and then execute. That's it.” 

He tilted his head too, as if to mimic me, “You can ask for help too, you know?” 

“I… but Papyrus—” 

“Is still young, I know, but between the three of us, he's growing great,” he cupped my hand in his own again, “You'd been an invaluable help in that, Koray. Let us return the favour, ‘kay?” 

“I just, I can handle it, Sans.” 

“Sure, no one said you can't. I'm just saying we're too indebted to just stand and do nothing.” 

“I did nothing—” 

“You fed Papyrus for a month,” Sans interrupted me again, his eyes staring at me with that intense gaze again, “When we weren't home, you even substituted with your own magic. Even when you had to feed Alphys too. And then you cooked us food — you still do, by the way. Those ‘leftovers’ are always hot and fresh, don't think we don't notice.” His hands rubbed circles on mine, “We’re genuinely indebted to you, ‘Ray. At least let us help a little bit.” 

“...you don't have to.” 

“Just like you didn't have to?” His grin turned mischievous, “Ray, you know us better than that, c'mon.” 

I sighed dramatically, finally relenting since I had no actual fight left in me. 
How could I? After the way he refuted everything and just… looked at me like that. 

It should be illegal to look so… cute. That kicked puppy kind of cute, what the fuck. 

Did I just think that about a skeleton? For Sans, of all people? 

I shook my head as I started another topic to distract myself — oh yes, exams. Excellent topic to rant about. 

That is, until Sans started with his puns related to microbiology. The mock pain on my face was enough for him to continue it despite a smack over his head. 

“This is exactly why Papyrus bit you last time, you know that, right?” 

“You sure that wasn't the pasta he was after?”

I paused, genuinely musing on it since it really could be. He was obsessed with spaghetti in the game but… 

My eyes met Sans’, who was grinning the most shit-eating grin he could. We both cracked up for no real reason, laughter bouncing between us like a shared secret. 

“Stars, you are such a little shit, I swear.” 

“Thanks for your poop-tacular review, ‘Ray.”

“Sans!” 

》:✦:《

Changing careers wasn't as difficult as I thought.

Asgore was understanding, if not very amiable, about it. His only worry was about me and my sister until I told him my plans for the future, which he wholeheartedly agreed with. 

In fact, he even offered to fund my education, which I disagreed with. I had enough funds saved, not to mention my parents had their own savings too, which was currently our emergency money left untouched for any unfortunate circumstances. 

Now, all I had to do was speedrun my education and somehow convince the principal of the school that I was worth hiring.

…which happened quite easily too. 

“I, I got hired?” I opened the letter during my lunch with the skeleton brothers in the lab, “Just like that?” 

“What do you mean by that?” Wingdings looked at me like I was a joke, “You gave a test, even passed the interviews. What do you mean ‘just like that'?” 

“I mean, I just thought they wouldn't hire someone who has no teaching experience…”

“You have the background, ‘Ray,” Sans replied before stuffing his mouth with the burger, “That's why they hired you.” 

“But I never taught in a school??” 

“Do you know how many monsters even go to college?” Wingdings pointed out as he bit into a fry, “And even that for two degrees.” 

That, he was right about. 
I was lucky enough to not only be able to study but also have the funds to pursue at a much higher level than many of the monsters out there could. But still— 

“I ain't listening to any of that from an experimental physicist like you who got two PhDs himself.” 

The look I received from both brothers was one of amusement and one of annoyance as the daily banter started at its ritualistic pace. 

Honestly, it was a part of our routine now, one that none of us wanted to change even when we didn't have lunch together because of our hectic schedules. In those days, either one of those two would drop by my house and drag me to theirs just to talk and complete our daily quota for bantering. 

And when they didn't, I dropped in with leftovers along with Alphys, staying at least a few hours to either clean their house or feed the two elder skeletons while verbally sparring with them as usual. Sometimes it was both, if both brothers were especially tired from working on the CORE.

One of the more memorable times of those impromptu visits was when Papyrus started to float himself off the stairs — something that left both me and Sans with a near soul attack. 

“Isn't it supposed to be too early for magical manifestations?” I asked Sans once Papyrus was down and safe within his arms, “Even you didn't start using gravity magic until you were like, four!” 

And Papyrus was barely 3 years old at this point. 

“Well, guess we have a genius at hand,” Sans grinned at my own amused yet worried look, “Isn't my brother cool?” 

“The coolest,” I agreed immediately, a soft smile spreading on my face, “Though, you do know what this means, right?” 

“That my bro is a prodigy?” 

“And that we need to child-proof the high shelves and cabinets,” I raised an eyebrow at him, “Unless, of course, you want him to hurt himself or get stuck in there.” 

The sheepish look he gave me made me laugh. 

“Come, let's tell Wingdings the good news—” 

“—or,” Sans’ grin widened, “Papyrus can show his big bro how he can fly in his room, right, Papyrus?” 

“Yesh, Sans!” Papyrus pumped his fist in the air, excited as ever. 

I chuckled as I followed the chaos duo over their plan for the prank, adding a few pointers here and there to make it better (or worse, as Dings would point out later). 

That was the day Wingdings almost cracked his skull open trying to ‘save’ Papyrus from falling down a high shelf in his room. That was also the day we got a long and rather painful lecture on why pranks involving babies weren’t exactly a wise idea.

Chapter Text

Blue wasn't Sans’ favourite colour, despite what everyone thought. 

Yes, he wore blue and white a lot but that was mostly because his blue jacket was a gift from his mom and his dad used to love it when both his sons went around the labs with the white coat on like him. It made the three of them look very alike and everyone kinda digged it. 

Koray did too, even if she never mentioned it. But her eyes always did, especially the fond amusement that shone through them every time she watched the three of them work together in the labs. 

But honestly, Sans’ favourite colour had always been pink — that cotton candy pink that was both soft and bright and always attracted his attention whenever he passed by it. Like Koray. 

He liked yellow too, specifically that amber shade of it that made them shine like gold under the right lighting. Like Koray's eyes.

Heh, his favourite everything almost always traced back to her in one way or another — Koray's colours, Koray's love for water sausages or how Koray's magic tasted tangy yet sweet in a way that it made him crave it even more. 

It sounded obsessive and maybe it was. But Sans couldn't help it, not when his soul literally tugged at her very existence.

Because, as far as Sans remembered, he always knew. She was his resonance, his match for the soul. 

Even when he was young, he felt it — the calmness she brought to him soothed him a lot. Koray made him feel safe, heard and settled in a way nothing else did. 

Unfortunately, his family noticed it too. While he didn't quite have a name for it back then, he knew his family's teasing grins were going to create some problems in the future. And they sure did. 

“Aw, Sans literally found his soulmate right after he was born,” his Dad teased him with his ridiculous grin, “What a lucky rascal you are!” 

“Are you sure it's soul resonance you feel, Sans?” Dings asked for what sounded like an infinite time, his tone always dubious.

“Of course, I do, big bro,” Sans tried his best not to sound clipped as he explained again, “I know what it means and how serious it is. I'm not saying it just because she's pretty and my eyelights look for her every time I enter any room.” 

The silence that followed his words made Sans realise just how bad he sounded.

His mother, cooing from the kitchen at her 12-year-old son's confession, told him even more so.

Honestly, Sans really disliked how transparent his apparent affections for Koray was — all but to the object of his desire and love. Almost everyone but her knew somehow that he was sweet on her and he still didn't know how until that one day. 

“It's your eyes,” One of his school friends, Ulupi, clarified after she watched him greet Koray after school, “Or eyelights. Whatever you call them. They always keep following her and when they do, they're always bigger and fuzzier than usual.” 

She chuckled when Sans made a face at her unwanted but much-needed clarification, “Dude, you should look at your face. You're so whipped for her that it isn't even funny anymore.” 

“No need to tell me about it.” 

“No, you should tell her about it,” Ulupi replied jokingly, “Don't tell me our Sansy boy here is shy of telling his brother's best friend that he has the hots for her since like, forever. Or are you not telling it cause she's his girlfriend or something?” 

Sans immediately sat up straight on that, “She's not Dings’ girlfriend,” he stressed on it harshly, “She's not his.” 

“O-Oh, gotcha,” Ulupi looked more spooked than he expected her to, maybe because of his blank eye sockets. 

Then again, he couldn't really blame her either, especially when it wasn't the first time Koray and Dings’ friendship was confused for something more. Hell, even his parents had such thoughts at one point. 

But that doesn't mean he hated it any less — not just the implications but also the fact that his name was never attached to Koray's like Dings was. And those two didn't even know about all this at all!

It was already troublesome enough that he was the only one aware of the soul resonance between the two of them and Dings’ friendship with Koray literally complicated things at a more social standpoint since people kept making assumptions. Sans almost wished he could somehow insert himself enough that his name started to appear with Koray instead, to at least maybe gain some momentum on his love life. 

Though, he never blamed his brother for any of this. To be honest with himself, he knew Dings was socially inept — something their Dad kept reminding Sans a lot many times, telling him to take care of his big bro since he was the more observant one. 

“Not just observant,” his Dad had said once, “You’ve a really uncanny ability, Sans. The ability to read people like a book through their expressions. It's a really good ability to have in war but even outside it, this ability has its benefits,” he gently patted Sans’ head as he continued, “Use it to protect yourself and the ones you love. And please, take care of Wingdings. That boy definitely got the smarts but not in the social department, unfortunately.” 

The only reply Sans ever gave to that kind of requests was either a joke or a nod. And the reply was always the same from their Dad — that he wasn't alone in the job, as he may have expected. 

It took Sans very little time to figure out that their Dad had also counted Koray in their little equation, something he didn't quite agree with but was forced to after his parents passed away. 

Because after that, Koray had become much more to Sans than just a resonance to his soul. 

She became their rock, the compass that guided them to the path of moving forward. She was the fixture in his life he couldn't even imagine living without. Koray was much more than a so-called destiny for him and it kinda comforted him to know that she chose them despite not realising anything about the resonance. That they were her choice. 

Now, if only she chose him as her partner too…

“Soul resonance are the faint connections of souls woven through innate magic of the monsters,” Sans hummed as he read the book he got his hands on from the royal library as a perk of being royal scientist's brother, “It's the sign of compatibility shown through a quiet but undeniable pull that links one soul to another.” He chuckled as he kept the book on his desk and laid his head on it unceremoniously, “Fuck, Koray really is my soulmate, wait no, soul resonance.” 

He hadn't bonded with her yet to become soulmates — even if his soul did hum in excitement at the idea. 

Sans groaned as he rubbed his flushed face at the thought of bonding with Koray. Stars, wasn't that his dream. To bond with her, to see her soul, to know things about her no one knew. He wanted to know her best — he wanted to know what she dreamed of, what she thought that she didn't always speak up about, he wanted to know every little thing about her. 

And he wanted her to know him best too. He wanted to tell her how much he loved pink because it was her colour, how much he hated blushing, yet never the way he looked when he blushed because her colour was on his cheeks. 

He wanted to show how much she meant to him, how much she changed the lives of his brothers and him and how much he just wanted to care for her. 

“Why don't you tell her then, Sans?” His mom had asked him once, her voice curious unlike his brother's demanding one, “Wouldn't it be better if she knew? I know she doesn't realise it, but maybe it's because she's still too young.” 

“I don't mind,” Sans admitted hesitantly, “I mean, I don't mind the wait. I… I don't want to force her, to make her feel obligated to be with me just ‘cause our souls resonate. She doesn't even feel it like I do, so.” 

“Oh dearie,” he closed his eyes as her warmth engulfed him, “You know she's not like that. She would never think of you as a burden!” 

“I know.” 

And that made it worse. Because he knew Koray's first reaction to their resonance would be to apologise for not realising it beforehand. Even before the celebration, she'd feel guilty and he doesn't want that to happen. 

Rather, he'd wait for her like the patient soul he was. 
He'd wait for her to realise their resonance while he enjoyed her company like he always did. 

He’d wait and hum the songs with her as they worked together in silence. He'd wait and listen to her sweet hums and whistles to unknown tunes and familiarise himself with them to join her later on.

He'd wait and enjoy reading her messages, exchanging pictures and ridiculous texts even late at night. Even when he would stay awake for the rest of the night, rereading their every conversation, their every joke. 

He knew he was down bad, but he didn't mind because he knew it was for Koray. 

》:✦:《

“I love how history books always say how monsters rose from the dust of the Earth while humans did from the flesh of the beasts,” Koray mused idly, after helping Papyrus to bed with a long story reading session.

“Why love it?” Sans asked softly as they went down the stairs, just to stall her a bit more — keep her at his home a little longer and talk with her more if he could. 

“Because it's funny,” her amber eyes twinkled so beautifully, “We monsters rose from the Earth and Humans go back to Earth after their death. A strange cycle, isn't it?” 

“We also go back to Earth after we fall down,” he pointed out curiously.

“Yeah, but rarely our does dust actually convert into sustenance for plants.” 

The look he gave her was one of horror and bewilderment that made her crack up completely — so much so that she gasped for air as she leaned on him while laughing. 

Stars, did he want to reach out and pull her into his arms. 

“You sure know how to be dark, Ray,” Sans said jokingly, “Talking about such a grave topic so lightly.” 

Koray immediately groaned at his timely pun, smacking him lightly on his shoulder despite her bright grin, “Sans! Stop it!” 

He only grinned as he continued on with more puns about death and dirt, watching keenly as the corner of her eyes wrinkled with laughter while she still ‘scolded’ him for his ‘bad sense of humour’. 

Sans observed her quietly, never telling her how he loved the way she pronounced his name. The way she stretched the 'a' so delicately that it almost sounded like she sang his name every time she said it. 

Or maybe he was just biased and loved hearing his name from her lips.

Eventually, it came time for her to leave — though, not before she pestered Dings back home and made him eat and go to sleep. It amused Sans to no end, even if he was secretly glad she cared enough to pester the brothers like this.

It also gave him the chance to enjoy her company longer, despite knowing full well he’d be meeting her tomorrow too. 

It's just… tomorrow still didn't sound soon enough. 
Especially when he had to say goodbye to her like that. 

“Stars, you're whipped,” Dings groaned when he noticed Sans pace around the lab as lunch time came closer, “Just tell her, Sans. Waiting is just going to hurt you both.” 

“I don't want to make her feel—” 

“—like she's obligated, I know,” the taller skeleton rolled his eyelights at him, “But this is just getting ridiculous. Have you thought about what would happen if she starts dating? Not everyone has resonance, Sans. In fact, barely any monsters do. It's common to date and match.” he gave him a pointed look, “What if she starts doing it too?” 

“I,” Sans felt like he couldn't breathe as he thought about that, “I-I'll ask her to start with m-me?” 

Dings gave him a look that called him stupid in 5 different ways, “And you’re sure she even sees you in that way?” 

Now, wasn't that food for thought? 
One that Sans didn't even want to entertain and maybe just throw it in the back of his mind so it could starve and die? 

Unfortunately, he wasn't quite as such lucky with it because he soon got a glimpse of it in reality and he absolutely fucking hated it. 

》:✦:《

“Heya Grillby!” Koray greeted the fire elemental as if she knew him for years, “This here is Sans, my best friend's brother, and that over there,” she pointed out at Dings, who was lagging behind in the worst posture possible, “Is my fucking dumbass of a best friend.” 

Best friend's brother. Oof. 

The elemental monster's fire flared, making noises that Sans could hesitantly compare to startled laughs.

This was the first time Sans ever visited Snowdin — it was rather far away from New Home and honestly, quite cold. While he didn't mind the temperature much per se, he knew how much it must bother Koray. 

But for her to invite them to Snowdin herself willingly was a surprise to both brothers, to say the least.

Even more so when they realised it was to meet someone. 

“Hi,” Sans decided to keep it cool despite the way his soul was quivering in worry in his chest, “Name's Sans Gaster. You can call me Sans the skeleton too.” 

“And I am Wingdings Gaster,” his brother introduced himself rather formally, “Please refer to me by my last name, if it's comfortable with you.” 

Grillby looked at both curiously, if the flickering of his flames was something to go by, before turning to Koray, who looked at him and giggled. 

“I know right?” She suddenly said, making both brothers look at her in confusion, “They both are crazy smart though, like, on absolute nerd levels. So are their jokes, honestly.” Koray then turned to them with a sheepish look, “Grillby here has selective mutism — his magic isn't quite adept for speaking, so he instead just communicates with gestures. I'm still teaching him sign language though, so it's a work in progress.” 

“Fascinating,” Dings replied first, his eyelights checking out Grillby with interest, “Is it because you're an elemental monster? Your magical biology does seem more malleable than others.” 

Grillby shrugged as Koray started walking, encouraging the three of them to follow as they walked through the snow of Snowdin. 

“Doesn't the snow bother you?” Dings asked, making Grillby shake his head, “What about when it's snowing? Does it affect your flames in any manner? What are your magic attacks? Have you ever—” 

“Chill, bro,” Sans punned, making Dings snort while Grillby looked at them with a bright flicker, “Let the ice poor guy speak at least.” 

Koray groaned from ahead before turning backwards mid-walk to glare at them. Stars, he loved how vivid her eyes always were. And how he hoped those looked at him more — even if they were to glare at him quite so often.

Dings laughed as he continued with his questions, making one-sided conversation with Grillby while Koray gave her input here and there to keep the conversation going. 

As far as Sans realised from the whole conversation, she didn't actually look interested in Grillby. At least not in the way he assumed at first. But then why were they here? Was it really his wishful thinking—? 

“Yep! He's opening his own joint, actually,” Koray's voice made him snap back into the conversation, “Today's his opening and I promise you, it'll be worth all the travel.” 

“Damn, a promise from Ray?” Sans’ grin widened as his soul settled over the last puzzle piece, “You sure must have some real delicious burg, Grillbz.” He couldn't help the way his voice lit up in the end as he realised he was being worried for nothing. 

The elemental monster gave Sans a look before shrugging, his fire flickering a bit as if saying something that no one understood. 

“Yeah, it is,” Koray replied as if speaking for him, “He's even prepared something special for ya two!” 

Grillby immediately turned towards her, making her look at him confused. He gently pointed at her before nodding. 

“Oh, for me too?” She teased, “Am I your favourite customer then, G?” 

The way Grillby simply started walking faster made Sans laugh and tease Koray while they followed the fire elemental down to his (still) closed pub and diner. And Stars, was that the start of something beautiful. 

At that moment, Sans didn't realise how much that place would mean for him some day — how he would keep coming back here even when he was on the surface and how Grillby would end up being his best friend and best man in the wedding. 

》:✦:《

Drunk Koray was the cutest version of Koray Sans ever had the pleasure of knowing. And that was saying something since he already knew sleepy Koray and damn, was she adorable then too. 

“Mm, I donwanna…” she mumbled with her head against the bartop.

“Just one sip, Ray,” Sans barely kept the smile off his voice, “That'll help ya feel better, I promise.” 

His resonance whined a bit more before finally getting up and drinking the water Grillby so graciously brought them in. The elemental monster was quite used to their antics by now to know what to do too.

Sans softly rubbed Koray's head, his gentle motions making her lean towards him more as she closed her eyes in bliss, “Keep doing that, please,” she moaned, her head pressing against his hands even more, “Please, Sans.” 

Sans had to suppress the urge to tremble and lean down to kiss her — fuck, she was so beautiful and hot and by Stars, did he want to just… 

He quietly pulled the hoodie over his head to hide his blush, knowing damn well Grillby still noticed it. Thankfully enough, he knew the elemental monster was kind enough to never mention it to anyone else. Though, Sans knew he was in for another lecture (on how he should just come clean to Koray about the resonance) but he didn't mind sitting down through it. Again. 

How could he, when he knew how his friends and family accepted him and his resonance as they did.

Sans simply kept rubbing Koray's head, letting the lizard monster sigh and enjoy his touches. She even scooted in to lean on him, giving him the best opportunity to gather her in his arms — one of the actions he never stopped craving. 

Unfortunately, it was already late and he knew it was past Alphys and Papyrus’ bedtime. Dings must have put them in bed but who knew how well that worked out.

“Let's go,” Sans softly whispered in her eyes, watching warmly as she nodded before leaning back on him, “Heh, always so demanding,” He joked, silently loving her drunk clinginess as he gathered her in his arms and carried her out of Grillby's. 

It's been a few years since Grillby's opening, all of which flew by him so fast that he wasn't even sure time had passed that fast. 

They had healed much more than they thought they ever would. And Koray was one of the biggest reasons for that — her silent support and warm presence helping the leftover Gaster family at every step of the way. 

Don't get him started on how much she was loved by his youngest brother. 

Sometimes he thought if Papyrus really was their brother and not secretly Koray's, with the way he kept following her everywhere and looking at her with stars in his eyes. Both of them were ridiculously adorable and Stars, did Sans’ grin widen whenever he thought about them. 

“Your grin's cute,” Koray mumbled as he looked down at her in his arms, her amber eyes blinking slowly and in a half-lidded manner, “‘m really lobe it.” 

Sans blushed as he leaned in to press his teeth against her forehead, “I love the reason for the smile more,” he mumbled softly, knowing damn well she'll forget all this ever happening the next day, “I wish you knew how much you mean to me.” 

“Mm,” she nuzzled into his jacket that he had wrapped around her, “How mu’?” 

“More than you'll ever know,” he admitted honestly. 

Sans fell first when he met Koray as a child. But with each passing day, he just feels like he keeps falling for her more and more. 

He loved her when she made him three bookmarks for his academic book, jokes book and novels just because she noticed Sans dog-earing his pages once. He loved her when she teased him about his difficulty tying a tie but stepped up to help him every time still. He loved her when she gifted him pink slippers clearly as a joke that he absolutely loved. 

He absolutely adored it when she came to them running when Papyrus accidentally called her. Or when she brought special gloves for Wingdings just so he could work better in the labs than suffer holding objects awkwardly because of the holes in his hands like their Dad had. 

Koray's every action was so genuine and sweet that he just, he couldn't not love her. 

“And I know you don't see me that way,” he admitted softly once he noticed she fell asleep in his arms as he carried her to New Home, “But I'll always wait for you and keep loving you even if you never do.” 

He realised it very recently that he didn't mind if Koray never felt the resonance on her end.
He was happy with being her choice, rather than a mere destiny's obligation. 

Even if that choice led to them staying only as friends. 
He’d be happy as long as he was with her, beside her. 

Who knew, maybe one day she’d start seeing him differently, too.

Chapter Text

Puberty was different for monsterkind, just like almost everything else.

While the age of majority was still 18 years (surprisingly?), the concept of puberty was much different from what I once knew as a human. 

Unlike humans, monsters didn't have any menstrual cycle (thank Stars for that ) or even awkward voice cracks or sudden growth of hair everywhere. 

Instead, it was a steady stream of changes, including magic manifestations between the ages of 6 to 9 and growth of height throughout their teenage years. Monsters always changed their voices by the end of their teenhood, mostly either deepening or becoming more high-pitched as we got used to our soul frequency and magic. 

It was so different and subtle that I didn't quite recognise it as puberty until my parents had mentioned it offhandedly when they noticed Wingdings’ voice had deepened from the last time they had heard it months ago. How I missed that was beyond me. 

For Alphys, puberty was very subtle but noticeable nonetheless, as I kept a close eye on my baby sister. 

The first sign of it came in the form of her growth spurt — one moment she was barely reaching my shoulders and the next she was a few inches taller than me. Which was another thing that surprised me since I was exactly Sans’ height and I thought he and Alphys had the same height? 

But apparently not? 
Was that another thing I misremembered? 

“Whatcha thinking?” Sans whispered right beside my ear, making a shiver go down my body as I jumped away in surprise. 

“Sans!” My hand automatically smacked his arm, making the mischief snicker, “What the fuck?! When did you come in?” 

Another thing that I found different from the game was how Sans didn't teleport at all — or rather, he couldn't . That was not something within the scope of his magic apparently and that confused the hell outta me since I knew his shortcuts were definitely a part of the canon.

Was I born in some kind of AU of the main timeline or something??? 

I bantered with Sans like always, giving him a stink eye when he stole a muffin from me despite the three I had already given him. Greedy bastard. 

“Hands off, Bones, or else I'll bite your it off ,” I warned jokingly, doing a few biting motions just to show my so-called conviction. 

The way Sans’ eyes fixed on my mouth and traced every motion of it for a good few moments flustered me a bit, especially given how intensely he looked while doing it, too. 

“Sure,” he finally replied, his grin relaxing as he looked at me, “Go ahead.” 

“...what?” 

“Go ahead,” his smile widened as his eyes twinkled, “Satisfy your craving for bones if you want to, sweetheart.” 

Oh fuck. 

Sans looked at my stunned expression, his brain catching up to his words as his skull flushed completely red. Maybe that came out much dirtier than he intended, given how his tone was rather joking than flirty. 

“...I ain't a dog, Sans,” I replied to somehow disperse the embarrassment, “If you so wanna get your bones licked, maybe I can ask Doggo—” 

“ Nope ,” Sans looked so disgusted that it made me snort, “Absolutely not!” 

“Aww, and here I thought you were finally interested in dating!” 

“Nope,” Sans gave me a look that looked as if he knew something I didn’t, “Never with Doggo. I'd rather you chew me out than be a bitch about it.” 

I groaned as his puns registered, our banter easily sliding back to the regular routine of him punning and me smacking him for it. 

It wasn't until centuries later that I realised that it wasn't unintentional flirting. Oh no, it was all intentional but Sans was a complete dork about it. Not that I was any less idiot or dense about it either.

At least it took me comparatively less time to realise that the age of majority, as we knew about it for humans, came to be from monsters first. That was an interesting and, honestly, a less embarrassing realisation than the former one. 

》:✦:《

Alphys was the cutest baby I'd ever seen. 

No, I won’t stop repeating that and yes, that included baby Papyrus, who was the best boy I'd ever seen in either of my lifespans. 

“And his bone attacks are so adorable!” Wingdings gushed as we shared lunch in (now) his laboratory after quite a few weeks, “I wish you could've seen it!” 

“Yeah,” Sans’s wide grin greeted me as I turned to him, “He was all excited and jumpy over it. Almost tumbled into his own attack in that excitement too.” 

I chuckled at the imagery of the sweet babybones skidding into his own bone attacks after jumping around to show them. Awwie, such an adorable dork! 

“Now I really wish I were there too!” I propped my elbow on the table before leaning my face on my open palm. “But you know what Alphys did yesterday?” I grinned as I continued, “She grabbed her tail while playing and turned into this sweet little ball! Like, literally! She almost even rolled off the bed when she did it—” 

We exchanged stories about our respective siblings, bonding over how cute those two were before bantering again about who was the coolest. 

The only real solution came when we divided the coolness based on gender — Alphys was the sweetest, coolest baby sister but Papyrus was the bestest, coolest baby brother! 

“Don't forget tallest too,” Sans added jokingly, “The way he's growing, he'll outgrow me at 9.” 

“Aww, don't remind me,” I groaned as I dramatically flopped on the table, “Alphys is growing up too fast too and looks like she's gonna cross me soon too! Such a tragedy.” 

“Don't worry, I'll always be here for you,” Sans offered his fist to me, “Short height gang forever.” 

“Ugh,” I groaned dramatically as I bumped my fist with his, “Do you think there's any hope for some growth spurt left in us?” 

Wingdings directed the most shit eating grin at me, “Why, who do you wanna reach out to, huh?” 

The next groan I let out was more real than dramatic. 

》:✦:《

I loved cats a lot in my last life. 
They were calm, sweet and didn't slobber me in their saliva that I was previously deathly scared of due to my autoimmune disorder.

But maybe it was more because of my health than any actual dislike that I didn't like the four-footed cuddle bugs.

“Careful now, sweetie!” I chuckled as Annoying Dog jumped directly from a disgruntled Wingdings’ head to my arms, “Here there, little guy,” I greeted the little menace with a grin, “How's ya doing?” 

“Don't welcome him, Koray!”  

“Why shouldn't I? He's so cute and well-mannered!” 

“Well-mannered?! From what angle—” 

I giggled as Annoying Dog started licking my face, his wagging tail hitting my arm like a cute feather duster. I hugged the little bugger in my arms as I kissed him all over his face, making him let out small barks before he rolled over. 

“Okay, okay, I'm done,” I placed him down on the floor, smiling when he looked back at me while I rubbed his belly, “What a good boy, you are!” 

When I looked up, both Sans and Wingdings were giving me indescribable looks — well, maybe Wingdings more than Sans, cause the younger of the two looked at Annoying Dog as if he was a thief. 

“Guess you lost to a dog, huh?” Wingdings suddenly said out loud, making me look at him in confusion, “What a joke.” 

“What?” 

“How is he ,” Sans jabbed a finger at the dog with a look that made it seem like he was questioning his sanity, “A good boy? You know he keeps stealing Paps’ bone attacks, right?” 

“Wait, he does?!” I turned to the fluffy white dog, who looked at Sans with a smug look, “A.D., is he telling the truth?” 

Sans sputtered as I kept petting Annoying Dog and explaining how it was bad to steal others' bones. 

And while that was a funny incident in hindsight, it really didn't put much of a dent in that dog's antics anyway. 

Though, it did help me realise that I actually liked dogs, which was later reinforced when I met the Canine unit too. They were the most adorable little team that I watched grow one by one after I joined the royal council again. 

》:✦:《

The concept of undergarments in the underground also included socks, out of all things, at least for some monsters. Don't ask me why, since I still wasn't that clear on it. 

Apparently, monsters were good without socks (or even shoes for some of them), so they considered all this extra clothing as decorative or undergarments. At least, for skeletons, it was undergarments, given how scandalised Sans looked the first time when I washed it for him and his brother. 

He metaphorically turned into a tomato before yelling at his older brother for letting me do chores like that at their house. It only got worse when I said it was fine and I did it before. 

“You don't get it,” Sans pinched the ridge of his nose, “So-Socks are… they're like, they're very private — at least for us skeleton monsters.” He rubbed his cheeks, the sound of bone on bone echoing in the room a bit, “It's, um, it's li-like undergarments for us, okay?” 

“Wait, really?” 

“Heh, yes,” Wingdings laughed again, adjusting his round glasses over her face with the tape, “Since we don’t have anything else inside for undergarments to cover for, socks it is.” 

“But why socks?” 

“They cover our feet and all, so,” Wingdings shrugged, “I don't understand either anyway.” 

“You dingus,” Sans groaned as he looked at us like we were two idiots, which we were, “Socks are, well, they're,” he stumbled upon his words before just sighing loudly, “They are like sexy undergarments, alright? The decorative or lacy ones, specifically. They, uh, even humans have those and… you know.” 

“Wait, you mean lingerie?” I couldn't help the amusement that slipped into my voice, “Don't tell me it's a foot fetish thing?” 

Sans, honest to Stars, squawked at my words, “How do you know what fetish is but not that socks are intimate?!” 

“Because they aren't for the rest of us!” I defended myself as seriously before chuckling, “I mean, seriously, what the fuck? Don't tell me it's the same for gloves?” 

“No?” Sans gave me a look like he couldn't believe what he was hearing or talking about, “Why would they even be?” 

“I don't know! Why would socks be lingerie?” I pointed out honestly, “Maybe it really is a foot fetish thing.” 

“It's not— it's a cultural thing for us skeletons, alright?” 

“Generational fetish, then.” 

Sans just gave up and planted his face in his hands, making me giggle as I enjoyed his misery.

“What…” Wingdings finally spoke up as he looked mighty confused, “What's a fetish?” 

“...” 

The look I and Sans shared was more of an awkward fear than actual amusement as we realised we'd have to give a grown ass monster the advanced Sex-Ed. 

Ironically enough, it was much more embarrassing for the eldest skeleton than us two when he actually realised what it meant and how he was interested in none of it — a funny way for one to start their journey on discovering their asexuality, but can't judge him on that. 

Especially not after I explained monster sex and kinks to him in a way that was the most unsexy and confusing way possible, given it was more medically accurate than real life. 

At least now I had practice for when I'd have to give Alphys the birds and the bees talk. 

》:✦:《

My guilty pleasure was my songs, always.

Let it be my past life or this one, I'd always been addicted to music and had always been encouraged for the same by both sets of parents I had. 

In my past life, my father shared my love for music and always bought me new records, CDs and later on an iPod to listen to music whenever I wanted. He also brought me to my first concert when I turned 18 years old and made sure I had whatever artists’ merch I ever wanted, even when I rarely wanted any. 

In this life, both my mother and father were musically inclined, with my mother being a beautiful flute player while my father with his piano. Stars, were they beautiful together in music, too. 

Unfortunately, I didn't quite get their musical inclination towards the instruments but I did have a decent enough voice that got me praised when I was younger. I kinda stopped singing once I got older and that streak never really broke, even after my parents passed away. 

Well, that would be a lie actually, now that I think about it.

I did use to sing for Alphys and Papyrus — more for the former than the latter, since Alphys loved songs more while Papyrus was more into stories. That was also why I kind of started working on short stories and songs for those two, my writing habit evolving with time along with their tastes and entertainment. 

Both overlapped a lot too, once I started working on songs for the stories I spun — mostly reimaginings of stories I already knew or incidents I remember reading in my past. I glorified them, made the message clear and wrote them down for the two baby monsters. Then came the short poems-turned-into-hummings-and-songs. 

It wasn't that good, but it was decent enough as always — no matter what anyone says. 

“oh…” I stopped my humming as I heard a soft echoing voice, my eyes looking round to find the source before I found him — Napstablook . 

“Hey there?” My voice came out softer and more uncertain than I expected.

“oh… sorry,” he looked down from his position near the echo flower, “i disturbed you… didn't i? …i'm sorry.” 

“No, no, it's fine!” I immediately assured him, taking the moment to observe the little ghost in front of me. Well, not as little as I'd like, since he was almost my height if he didn't slouch — how can a ghost even slouch? 

With great effort (and some awkwardness on both ends), I eased the ghost into a conversation about music. It was completely coincidental but a very good type of coincidence, given how open he was when it came to music. 

And that was how our unexpected friendship started, too — with Blooky dearest apparently interrupting me unintentionally when he heard me humming a really catchy tune. It was a happy mistake, as he would later admit to me while he showed me some of the music he remixed specifically for me to listen to. 

Stars, he was such a dork. 
A very talented dork too, if his melodies were anything to go by.

“Thank you, Blooky,” I thanked him as we laid on the floor of his house, “Stars, I missed songs with flutes so much.” 

“oh… it's alright,” he said before pausing when I gave him a look, “i mean… oh… you're welcome…” 

I smiled at him approvingly as we started to hum the songs again, its calming melody really making me sleepy.

My friendship with Napstablook was a strange one. It was chill and somewhat reclusive but I really enjoyed it both because of the original beats to obsess over and because his presence was almost therapeutic. He was calm and didn't speak much — letting me sort out my thoughts in peace as we spent time listening to the songs he made.

He sometimes even shared the songs he made with his cousin and his friend Shyren, both of whom were quite sweet too. Shyren was particularly shy and had low self-esteem like Napstablook too but Hapstablook had enough confidence to cover for all three of them. He had good vocals too, so it wasn't like his arrogance was unjustified. 

It was a small band, but a good enough one that needed more practice for better coordination. 

I sometimes joined them in the vocals too, helping Shyren a bit to resolve her tone deaf tendencies but it only went so far. 

The only one who remotely had a good voice was Hapstablook, so a duet it was. 

“You joined a band ?” Sans asked me when he joined me one day on his day off.

“Oh no, I didn't join it,” I clarified as we walked through the Waterfall, “Just… listen to them, you know? Like their first fan, yes.” 

“Why not?” 

“Because I don't have any talent in music. No need to give me that look, Sans, I'm not lying.” 

I liked Napstablook and his friends, really. They were sweet and made a good enough band — one that very slowly gained popularity, especially after I wrote a short song for them.

Though, at the time, I thought it was a one-time thing. And it was too, given how they broke off after Hapstablook became Mettaton but that's a different story altogether. 

For the while, they were my musical obsession, my friends who shared my thoughts and tastes and hummed and sang with me. 

Sans joined me when I went to visit them too and surprisingly picked up some music as well. Though, as it later came to be, it was more to troll and pun with his trombone than anything else.

Funnily enough, he had a good voice too but rarely did he ever use it to sing in public. It was only when we were alone or when I hummed did he sang or hummed back. He was adorably shy, even if he didn't show it much after getting out of his stripes. 

“I love your voice,” I admitted to him one day after as we cleaned the dishes together, “Especially when you sing.” 

“Heh, yeah?” 

“Yep,” I answered sincerely, “You have such a smooth baritone and it just sounds incredible when you hum — especially slowly or softly.” 

Sans flushed as he looked away, saying something I wasn't quite able to hear. Unfortunately, I was unable to ask him either, since the kids came running into the kitchen, asking for something sweet. 

If I'd been able to ask, maybe I would've gotten to know a bit earlier why he loved singing around me only. Or maybe why I was the only one he preferred to sing for. 

Then again, these were all wishful thoughts to my dense self, who ignored more of the obvious signs just because she never thought romance was an option.

How foolish of me.

Chapter Text

My first job as a monster was under the Royal Council as the Royal Healer. 

It was a figurative title that passed down from my father to me after his… well, untimely demise. It kept us afloat for a while, both financially and mentally, since I was able to divert my energy to helping others and working alongside my studies. 

Though, honestly? The most I did as a healer was to heal minor injuries here and there (some sick monsters, if there were any) and create different flavours of monster candies. As I said, figurative head.

It wasn't until I asked to leave the position to shift into teaching that I was informed about my mother's position in the Royal Council — and it wasn't just Royal Advisor as I thought, no. 

She was also the Royal Judge . 

“I… what?” I felt breathless and faint as the fact slowly registered in my brain, “Mum was, she was also the Judge ? Was this after the War or just…?” 

“After the War,” Asgore explained patiently as he handed me a cup of golden flower tea, “Your mother was very young during the War. And by the time she was out of her stripes, we were already underground.” 

“Oh, okay,” I took a deep breath as I tried to arrange my thoughts, “Okay. So, uh, why wasn't this public knowledge? Wasn't the role of the Judge a crucial one for monsters, given how they collected humans and brought… to you…” the realisation hit me harder than I expected as my eyes met Asgore's sympathetic ones. 

“A Judge's role is to enact rules and law,” he started gently, as if not to startle me, “Your mother was the best in that — even Gerson agreed to it.” 

“Gerson?” 

“Yes, Gerson,” he called out his name like an old friend did, “He has the strongest justice trait amongst us monsters — so strong that he was given the moniker ‘Hammer of Justice’ during the War.” His maroon eyes looked down at the teacup in his hands, “It wasn't until he retired that we realised we needed someone else to fill his role, though a more permanent one in the Council. That was when your mother joined, with the justice in her soul so bright that her attacks glowed golden .” 

“...Why wasn't it public knowledge then? Her position as the Judge?” 

“Because of the burden it carries,” Asgore looked pained as he admitted it, “Your mother… She was responsible for the collection of human souls. Her role led her to do things she was forever burdened by. Please do not think too harshly of her.” 

“I don't,” I said honestly, hating how I actually understood her position, “I, I understand how it is for us and how the humans were… I just…” 

“Only one human perished by her hands, if that's any consolation.”

How… just how could he just—

“No, your Majesty, it isn't ,” I hissed as my soul ached at the thought, “Six humans have already fallen underground and perished, your Majesty. All of them were young , even by human standards — barely out of stripes by ours . To know that my mother killed one of them too, is just—” I cut myself off, closing my eyes as I tried not to let the panic I was feeling slip into my voice. 

“...We don't have any choice, Koray.” 

“No, we do ,” I replied stubbornly, “Humans have much shorter lifespans than us, Your Majesty. We can always wait it out and—” 

“—and let monsters stifle underground because of humans again?” Asgore's voice was calm but not unkind as he patiently explained to me with a mournful gaze, “Koray, I understand your conflict but it's not fair to monsters to be on humans' whims — not again. Many monsters still suffer from living underground as we do.” 

As much as I would like to deny him, I knew he was right. I had firsthand seen monsters fall down because of the unfavourable conditions of the underground. 

“Was that something my mother agreed with?” I asked curtly, “What about the rest of the monsterkind?” 

“Dara was the first to explain that to me like that,” he admitted. 

“I,” I felt like my whole world crumbled while I watched and let it happen, “This is not the right solution, your Majesty. Not in the long run. A war with humans is what got us here in the first place — killing their children would only bring another one the moment we get out.” 

Asgore paused as he processed my words, his head lower than I'd ever seen. 

And honestly, that was one of the only things I remember happening from that day. The rest was a blur of words, colours, chores and just… just. 

I hated how I got to know this side of Mother after she died. After I lost my chance to ask her why she did what she did, even when I kinda understood her desperation. 

But as a Royal Advisor and Judge, she should know that this wouldn't work! That humans wouldn't just take it lying down.

Was she that young to not remember the War? Or was she so desperate to get out of the Underground? If so, then why? 

“Because you were born,” Gerson explained when I went to his shop the next day to seek my answers, “You were a teeny thing, y'know? Both your parents were worried you'd dust with how weak you were born. They wanted you to be born in a better place, under the sunlight and the wind. Can't blame them for wanting the best for their kids, eh?” 

I didn't have any reply to his words at that. 

All I felt was a heavy burden, like I had something over my shoulders I couldn't see but felt all the way to my soul. 

“Ray?” Sans called my name softly, his hand gently wrapping around my arm in the barest of touch, “You alright?” 

“I, I'm not sure,” I admitted as I sat down beside him on the couch, barely noticing that I was back in my house, given how the couch was a blue colour rather than his green one. 

“Wanna talk ‘bout it?” His hand gently rubbed my arm, “Or would ya just like to sit and talk ‘bout something else. I can distract ya fine if ya want. Or maybe we can sit in silence? With some songs?” 

My lips quirked into a smile as I leaned on his shoulder, letting my head slide over the soft lining of his jacket as I closed my eyes. The familiarity of his smell calmed me down slowly, his presence helping me a lot in grounding back to reality. 

“Okay,” he said after a few minutes when I didn't quite answer him back, his gloveless, bare phalanges now gently rubbing against my head, “Okay, let's just sit a little more comfortably, yeah?” Sans gently adjusted his position before cradling my head in the gentlest manner possible. 

I opened my eyes to look at him, only realising belatedly that he didn't know that I was still awake. 

I closed my eyes to continue the illusion, letting him adjust me beside him before my head was over a pillow on his part of the couch and I was covered in what felt like his jacket, given the soft hood that was tickling my face. 

He even adjusted the jacket over me when he realised it was bothering me. 

What really made me fall asleep was his slow ministrations over my head, his hands gentle and soft as his care bled through his actions. 

The rest helped me a lot, really. 
But what helped me the most was Sans’s presence that day. 

His sweet presence, lousy jokes and wordless handling of the chores and Alphys were just what I needed. 

Maybe it was just him that I needed for a long time. And it was only reinforced in the future as we both remained the only ones who remembered. 

》:✦:《

The transition from Royal Healer to a school teacher was honestly quite strange — in a good way too, if I had to be honest. 

There were only two schools in the underground, with the first one in lower Snowdin and the second one in upper New Home. Both schools had a maximum capacity of 500 children, which was very small and yet still managed to just… stay half empty most of the time.

It was a painful reminder of the situation monsterkind was going through, one which I wasn't yet ready to face just after hearing about my mother. Thankfully, I didn't get enough time to think too much about it since I got buried in schoolwork almost as soon as I started.  

“Miss Koko, Miss Koko!” I caught the little bundle of energy that crashed into me with a fond sigh, “Momma said you worked with Mister King! Did you really work with him? How tall is he? Did he really—” 

“There, there, Maare, let's take a breather, shall we?” I petted the hyperactive young monster as he looked at me with the brightest eyes I'd seen in a while, “What did I teach you, hm? One question at a time so that the other person can also talk, yes? What are one-sided conversations, hm?” 

“Boring lectures…” 

“Good! And what do we do to avoid them?” 

“Breathe and let others participate.”

“Good, now, give me a minute to enter the classroom and then I'll tell you all about Your Majesty, King Asgore, yes?”

I laughed as Maare jumped in excitement and followed after me to the class; the classroom was still pretty bare despite everyone already present there. After all, there were only 10-15 students in each batch. 

I smiled wryly as I answered the curious questions of each student, nurturing their curiosity that I once extinguished in myself as a human. I hated the education system in my past life, so I made it a mission to do better and give my all in this one.

And thankfully? I was given full support to do so as well, especially when it came to practical subjects like science.

In the New Home Senior Secondary School, we had grades from elementary to high school all in one building. The system was quite different from humans, given how we only had six grades rather than the twelve I was used to, but eh.

Beyond that, the number of students was low, and so were the teachers, making the quality of education really dubious. Any and all students who joined mostly studied on their own anyway, with teachers acting more as a guide to answer questions than as actual teachers. 

My first step to change that was requesting a proper schedule to be made for the students. 

While I was hired as a science teacher, I was also given the freedom to teach and answer questions of any student, regardless of the subject. This led to me being one of the primary teachers for the classes once the schedule was properly set. 

It took me a couple of years to refine the education system, especially with some extra funding from Asgore and even the parents of the kids who were attending. That helped me a lot in setting a simple but exciting syllabus with vocational activities and subjects like skating, knitting, theatre and even cooking. 

The changes I had introduced had soon become so popular that Asgore asked me to help him frame a policy for the education system of the underground — both for schools and colleges, especially since I was doing my Master's at that point.

It was funny changing the system while still being in it but it also led to a lot many monsters taking interest in education and its quality getting better despite the low numbers. 

Teachers who were hired for vocational subjects also got a job and the rest of the subjects too soon got taught by more qualified teachers as the reputation became better. It was a very unexpected change but welcomed nonetheless.

As for my job, I worked as a teacher for quite a few years — especially with Alphys as one of my students, despite her skipping grades as I knew she would. 

The best thing about it was that I could literally see her interest in biology and chemistry develop in real time. 

“Maybe she'll be a scientist like us,” Wingdings joked when I mentioned my observations to him, “Working to make the future of monsterkind brighter.” 

“Don't add me to your ‘us’. I'm only a teacher, please.” 

He rolled his eyelights at me, “Please, you're also going for a doctorate. You'll end up in the lab with us one day or another.” 

“Nope! Not happening,” I denied immediately, “I'm perfectly happy with my teaching job. I ain't gonna leave that even when Alphys graduates.” 

“Who said anything about leaving? You can join after your school hours.” 

“Still no, it's hard enough being a teacher as it is.” 

The look Wingdings gave me was one of disbelief, “You say that now because you uprooted the whole education system to make a new one,” he pointed out bluntly, “That's why there's a whole lot to do. But once it settles down, you'll start getting bored again.” 

“Bored again ? What do you think of me, huh?” Did Wingdings think I was a dopamine-chasing addict or something? 

“I'm telling you what I know will happen.” He didn't rise to my bait to change the topic, “You've always been a busybody, Koray. If you think teaching alone will fulfil you — no, it won't. Not in the long run or even in our long lifespans.” 

That… was something to think about.
I kept forgetting that I had more than a millennium of living to look forward to, which was a very weird thing to even get used to.

Especially when in my last one, I was diagnosed to die before even reaching adulthood — a diagnosis I very much defied and yet still not by too much of a margin. And now, I get to live over 1000 years? Damn.

“Maybe I won't live that long,” I mused gently, as if trying to soothe that sudden sting of pain and confusion in my soul, “Maybe I'll be one of those monsters who dust after 200 years—” 

“Koray, Shut up .” Wingdings’ sharp tone made me flinch as I turned to him frowning at me, “You're not dying before me. So, just shut up and leave those thoughts behind. 200 is too young for anyone to die.” 

His words amused me as I thought of my past self, “It isn't for humans.” 

“And we aren't humans,” his voice still sounded clipped as he looked away, “And we never will be. So, perish that thought and start preparing for your long life. I don't want you moping around after 500 years, saying you've done everything and are now feeling bored.” 

A breathless laughter built up in my throat as I imagined living for that long. Strangely enough, it didn't seem as daunting when I started thinking about Alphys and the Gaster brothers there with me. 

“You're right,” I chuckled as I got up from my seat and leaned on Wingdings’ back, smiling when I noticed him looking away from me as an act of rebellion.

“I know I am,” he replied petulantly, which actually made him sound like the adorable child he was. An overgrown child without the stripes, but still.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, grinning as he looked away from me again, “I'm sorry,” I apologised, trying to look at him while he kept looking away, “Aww, come on, Dings! I'm sorry for talking about my death all willy-nilly like that. I'll try my best to never do that again.” 

“Please never talk like that about yourself,” his voice sounded more vulnerable than I realised as he gently wrapped his hands around my wrists, “I, I can't imagine living without you, Koray. I don't want to and I don't think I even can,” his voice wavered as he took a deep breath, “I can't lose you too, Koray. Not you, please.” 

“Oh, Dings…” I immediately detached myself from him and kneeled down in front of the depressed lunk of a skeleton, “I'm so sorry , Dings. I didn't realise I… I'm sorry for my tasteless joke. Please forgive me?” 

Wingdings looked up at me, his eyelights dim and surrounded with pale-purplish tears. Fuck. 

“I'm so sorry,” I said as it hit me how much the thought of it must have hurt him, especially after losing his parents just a few years ago, fuck , “I, I didn't think—” 

“Please don't think like that again,” his voice was gentle but his words slashed through my soul, “I know you don't like the idea of living long but I can't even think of you not being with us. I know, I know it's selfish but I just, please don't take away the time we have. Promise me I won't have to learn to live without you, too?” 

“You won't,” I answered immediately, my soul aching at the pain I caused him, “You won't — I promise you I'll always be there for you, wherever you are. I, you'll always have a home in me, I promise.” 

I didn't quite realise until then how much I really mattered to the monsters around me. 

I was used to sitting in the hospital bed, waiting for my family daily, despite knowing they had their own life too. I was too used to the idea of death — mine as well as others, after losing so many of my friends in the hospital. 

I was expected to die. 
I expected to die. And I was okay with that.

That's why I never expected others to grieve for me, because I'd seen them grieve for me even when I was alive. 

I… Stars , I had a lot to unpack and unlearn, huh? 

“Wingdings,” I called the skeleton softly as he looked down at me with his full attention. “Thank you,” I smiled, as I took his holed hands and placed my forehead on them. “Thank you for caring for me and reminding me.” 

“Wh-What—” 

“I promise I'll always be there for you and your brothers,” I repeated my promise, as if to imprint it in my soul, “I'll follow you all the way to the graveyard if I have to, you have my word on that.” 

I heard Wingdings chuckling at my unintentional pun as I looked up to see his watery smile directed at me, “Don't be stupid, we won't have any body to bury after we dust!” 

I made a face at him, knowing there was a pun in there somewhere that my mind was too preoccupied to catch right now, “I meant figuratively, doofus. Don't pretend you don't know that.” 

“I know, I was just trying to lift up your spirits !” 

“Ugh, Dings , you ruined the heartfelt moment we had!” 

“You know you dig it—”

“Shut up before I crack your skull open!”

》:✦:《

To live more than a thousand years was a concept that was difficult for me to grasp, despite my promise to Wingdings. 

Stars, I still remember the day I turned 100 years old, looking no older than the day I turned 20 years yet feeling just so… out of place. Out of time. Out of everything. 

My only saving grace was the skeletons and my baby sister, all of whom were there to celebrate more than even I wanted to. 

Their unadulterated happiness at my existence was what reminded me of whom I was doing all this for. 

Thankfully, this feeling faded away with time — the very thing I was quite wary of. But, then again, how wary can I be when centuries pass by me drop by drop in the underground? I'd have to get used to it anyway, even if it felt unnatural for a while.

Once time and long life lost their incredulity, all that was left was monotony. 

And that was infinitely worse. 

“Heya, G, what's up?” I grinned at Grillby as I sat down at the bar, his flames flickering as if to welcome me, “Glad to see you're doing good, buddy.” 

“Aye, Koray!” Bridder, or the Red Bird as some liked to call her, greeted me as soon as she got her ass down on the bar stool near me, “Been a while since I last saw you! How's the kids doing?” 

I smacked her winged arm as she gave me a shit-eating grin, “Stop phrasing it that way, Brid! You make it sound like they are my offspring rather than my siblings.” 

“Siblings, she says,” Bridder grinned, “You do remember you only have one or did you really marry into the Gaster family without inviting me?” 

“ Stars , Bridder—”

Laughter echoed in the establishment as everyone talked with everyone, and loudly at that, too. That's how Grillby's was more than half the time and no one would have it any other way.

“Aww, I wanted to ask you for a date,” Ugly Fish started as he flopped on the bartop dramatically, “But you already got married, Koray?” 

There was a collective eyeroll in the establishment as I replied to him with a poorly concealed smile, “Gylfush, I would've rejected you regardless of my marital status if you did.” 

“Oh snap! She used his full name !” 

“Poor Ugly Fish, such harsh rejection… not that he didn't deserve it.” 

“Hey!” 

Bridder grinned as she added fuel to the fire, “So, you agree to your change in marital status, huh?” She leaned on me before asking me loudly, “So, which brother is it?” 

I smacked her upside the head, not even bothering to check on her as Grillby brought me my regular drink with some fries.

“Thanks, G,” I pointedly ignored the annoying bird laughing beside me as I ate a fry, “You're the only decent monster here, I swear. The rest are brats and hooligans.” I said the last line loudly, making everyone laugh as they grinned at me teasingly. 

It's been almost a decade since Grillby's opened and became the staple go-to place for many monsters, though more specifically for those who lived in Snowdin. 

I think me and the Gaster brothers were the only ones who came this far to visit, making us both popular and unusual for the crowd here. Though that didn't mean we weren't welcomed here warmly either. It just meant that people paid more attention to us than the other regulars. 

That could also be because of our backgrounds too, to be fair. 

Like me, for instance. It was no secret who my parents were and that made people ask me a lot of stuff about Asgore and the royal council. Obviously, there were some questions about my late parents too, but most avoided the topic given their early demise.

Not Bridder, though.
That red bird immediately went for the kill and asked me if the late royal healer was my father. Once confirmed, she declared me as part of her family since I was technically a half-bird monster and drank the night away with her arm on my shoulder. 

For the Gaster brothers, though, it was a bit different, especially once the CORE was established and started working throughout the underground.

“Sans ain't here with you today?” Humpsternak, our resident hamster monster asked.

“Nope,” I leaned my elbows on the bartop as I took a sip of my drink, “I think he and Dings are busy with the new project they started. No idea what it's about.” 

It was funny how Sans was still more popular amongst the public than Wingdings, who literally was the Royal Scientist who made the CORE powering the underground right now. It was still a novelty amongst the monsters and loved beyond words for its convenience. 

And yet, somehow, Wingdings was always treated as… I don't know, someone unapproachable? That wouldn't be the right word. No, maybe revered? Awkward? 

Or maybe it was just Wingdings himself who made it that way? 

Eh, I can't blame the public either on that. Wingdings was one socially awkward guy who was very reclusive too, unless we dragged him out by force or blackmail. 

But whenever we did, he was still awkward around people and answered things in the most awkwardly confusing manner possible. Just like the dork he was and looked. 

Yes, I still haven't gotten him to wear his tie correctly. And yes, I'm still salty about it. 

“Aw, are they ignoring our poor Koray and not giving her attention?” My unimpressed expression only egged on Bridder, “Should I scold Sans for you?” 

“Keep that up and I'll tape your beak the next time we meet, Brid.” I threatened earnestly, making Gylfush giggle as he agreed with my threat since ‘it'll give the town a much-needed break’. 

That started a whole new banter with others chipping in who was the bigger menace of Snowdin before it came to Grillby to give his vote in. 

“...” he gave everyone a blank look before turning to me and tilting his head, “...Koray… when she's… without… Sans… or Wingdings.”

“What?!” I said incredulously as everyone bursted out in laughter and chatters, “I, you, Grillby! You liar! How am I a menace?! And why when I'm alone?” 

He simply looked at me, then looked around and then turned around. That bitch. 

“Answer meeeeeee!” I whined, mostly for comedic purposes to make everyone laugh but also to actually maybe get some answer.

Unfortunately, that flaming cheeky bitch refused to answer when it actually mattered.

“Now he suddenly doesn't speak again,” I grumbled again as Bridder kept laughing beside me, “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up!” 

It was one of the most chaotic evenings I had in the Grillby's and it only got more chaotic later on when Grillby, for who knows what reason, decided it really was a great idea letting me get behind the bar. 

“First you speak and now you let me in behind the bar?” I gave the fire monster a crazed grin due to all the alcohol in my system, “Damn G, you in a cheeky mood today, eh?” 

“I wanna in too,” Bridder teased, her and the other patron's eyes following our every movement as Grillby handed me an apron and cloth. 

“Get in line then,” I answered cheekily, “It's my turn to learn how to mix drinks first.” 

“Ooh, teaching the teacher? I like it.” 

The way Grillby looked at us at that comment made both of us laugh. 

It was an interesting experience, learning how to make alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks. Since Grillby was a fire elemental, he was the best at mixing drinks with a slight smoky and warm texture. 

He showed me how he made those, helping me make a few myself but to no avail.

“I don't have fire magic like you, G,” I teased him before taking the metal cocktail shaker from his hand. “How about I try some other ones? Maybe make specials off your menu?” 

And that was how Sans found me that evening — standing behind the bar, handling drinks for the patrons as everyone gathered their chairs around the bar like an audience to a concert. 

“Holy shit, this one’s so fucking good!” 

I grinned at the praise, “Told you cranberry juice goes well with orange juice. You just need a splash of vodka and green magic to help with that.” 

“Me next, me next!” Bridder giggled as she leaned in on the bartop, “I want, I want a colourful one!” 

“Mm, what colours and what flavours?” I asked as Grillby came through the fire exit with everyone's food one by one, his flames flickering as he kept an eye on me and everyone else. 

“Oh, I want like, mmm, like the hotland!” She was definitely drunk, “And for flavour… Maybe fruit?” 

“Sure,” I paused, as I thought what flavour profiles would go together, “A yellow, red and maybe orange tone, right? Coming right up!” 

Grillby joined me as I poured ice into the glass along with some lemon-lime soda. He handed me some vodka and orange juice before I thanked him and asked if he had some more grenadine syrup in the back. 

By the time he handed me the grenadine, I had chilled the glass with the ice by slushing it around before adding the soda, vodka and orange juice one by one. The grenadine came in last, poured slowly through the spoon as Grillby observed and learned what I was doing. 

“Whoa,” someone in the crowd whistled, “That's so pretty.” And that was true, especially since the yellow to orange to red ombre effect came out pretty nicely due to the cold glass.

“I know, right?” I finished it off with a mint leaf on the top and gently passed it over to the red bird, who looked like I had handed her Queen Victoria's crown.

“The trick is to pour the drinks slowly in a cold glass or container,” I explained when Grillby looked at me, “The ombre effect of the drink stays until it's mixed. And when it is, it looks like Hotland's orange hues.” 

Grillby nodded as he looked at the drink again, before turning to me. 

“Hm?” I raised an eyebrow, “Want me to teach you?” 

“Nah,” My soul jumped as I heard the familiar voice, “He wants ya’ to work for him.” 

I grinned as I turned towards Sans, who looked mighty amused at what he was seeing, “And you'd know that how?” 

“I recognise the look he's giving ya,” he winked at me, his grin widening as everyone greeted him warmly and even gave him a seat at the ‘front row’ of my alcohol mixing show.

“Make one,” Gylfush hiccuped as he continued, “Make one for Sans too!” 

“Yessssss…!” The crowd started chanting his name, making the said skeleton blush lightly as he turned to me. 

“Sure,” he proposed his elbow on the bartop and gave me a wink, “Gimme whatever the best you have.” 

“Colour, flavour and whether you'll like it alcoholic or not?” I asked with a grin, “Oh, and warm or cold?” 

His eyelights looked at everyone's drink around him with genuine amazement and humour, “You're serious, eh?” 

“You got no idea, bud.” 

And that he didn't, especially when he just shrugged and asked me to make whatever I thought was the best for him — in pink for some odd reason. Though, knowing him, he definitely must have done it to troll with a ‘girly drink’ in hand. Sans and his aesthetic choices.

Anyway, so I did. I made him my best attempt at a pink fruity drink with vodka, cranberry juice, soda, grenadine and some lemon. It came out with a beautiful reddish-pink ombre, especially after I added the splash of lemon juice. 

“Damn,” Bridder commented as she stared at the drink in my hand before I placed it in front of Sans with some ice on top, “That's such a pretty shade of pink. You think your magic's like that, too?” 

I gave a strange look at her strange question, “No?” I turned to Sans, whose eyelights widened as he took his first sip, “Mine's green, my dear. Not pink.” 

That's how the conversation devolved to my magic and my choice of attack (which was none, really) before Sans derailed that as usual, with his awful puns. 

Though, it seemed like he liked his drink since he kept ordering that for the rest of the night till Grillby had enough of our ruckus and decided to kick me back to the barstool, where I belonged. 

“That was really amazing, Koray!” One of the newer regulars called out as he left with his brother, both fish monsters, “Please call us when Grillby lets you do this again!” 

“Better yet,” Bridder gave her own two cents, “Make a town-wide announcement. Can't miss this for, hic, the world!” 

I huffed a laugh as Sans agreed beside me, “It wasn't that much of a big deal,” I replied honestly, “It's simple chemistry with a little knowledge about flavour profiles and largely the ability to hold ice without melting it.” Given how used to making monster candies in different flavours I was, this was nothing. 

Grillby shook his head at the indirect call out as he gave Sans a glass of water.

“Grillbz's right,” Sans downed the water in one go before continuing, “Cold ain't the only thing that made the drinks good. You sure your Pops’ never taught ya how to make cocktails?” 

I chuckled before shaking my head, “Please, I didn't even know my father drank until like, this evening,” I huffed as I gave Grillby a mock hurt look, “Can't believe you knew my father and never told me too, G. Such a meanie.” 

Grillby simply shrugged as he went in and brought me another plate of fries.

“Oh? I didn't order any, though?” He just shook his head and pushed it towards me. 

I raised an eyebrow at him before giving him a mischievous smile, “How generous of you, G, giving me free food~” 

That fire bitch didn't even give me a reaction except a simple nod before starting to clean the bartop again.

“Wait, it's really free?” I looked at him and then at Sans, who was already stealing fries from my plate like always, “Grillby?” 

And, as it came to be, everything I had that evening was on the house cause I apparently made great sales for Grillby??? 

“What? When was that?” My voice made that high-pitched squeak it did every time I was surprised, “All I did was make a nuisance of myself cause you said you and father went way back as drinking buddies.” 

“Wait, they did?” One of the other patrons asked in surprise, “Ain't you still in your 200s, Grillbz?” 

“That doesn't mean he couldn't drink with my father. There's a good period of overlap there where he wasn't in his stripes and I wasn't born yet.” I replied offhandedly before turning back to Grillby, “Okay, back to the topic at hand. Be honest G, you giving me stuff on the house cause I'm your favourite, right? It's okay to admit it.”

There was a weird glance exchanged between Sans and Grillby, as if they were sharing an inside joke I wasn't part of, before Grillby flicked my forehead and fled to the kitchen through his ‘fire exit’. 

What the…

“Come back here and answer me, you coward! Grillby!” 

》:✦:《

My list of jobs underground was a lot longer than I would like to admit, actually.  

Like that one time I accidentally became a radio anchor or when I was suddenly asked to publish some of the bedtime stories I used to read to Papyrus and Alphys when they were young, because apparently they were so good that others wanted to read them too. 

I have a lot of these experiences that are a little less than stories and much more than just my memories. Living for almost 300 years did that to you.

But the one that left the biggest mark on me was when I got my job as the Royal Advisor. Or, well, how I got it would be more accurate to say so. 

After all, it wasn't common to get a job after having someone die in your arms. Much less a child still in their stripes. 

Then again, I should’ve guessed the tone that was set for the whole thing from the beginning. Alas, it was always my last and longest job to be, nothing much I could do about it. 

Chapter Text

Waterfall was my favourite place in the underground, despite all the memories I had of the place. 

There was a calm in those fluorescent tones, a type that made me feel at ease with myself. The chill of the air from all the dripping water also made me unknowingly feel… Present. Calm. Alive. 

This was something I had in common with Mrs Gaster, hence all those trips here with her in the name of casual strolls. 

Not to mention, the echo flowers never failed to fascinate me — their unnatural glow giving tone and voice to the whole Waterfall. The way they echoed the words of the residents, bits and pieces of their conversation to paint an image of the past for you. 

It was beautiful, poetic and just something about it I couldn't help but love.

I loved their concept in my past life as a human and I still do as a monster who had the actual chance to see and test them. 

As someone who was pursuing a doctorate in magical biology, echo flowers were my prime testing subjects when it came to the effects of magic on our natural surroundings. These plants were the first of their type to absorb and be affected by the magic we monsters so naturally produced. 

They absorbed, adapted and became something so otherworldly yet divine. 

“What about you, Mrs Gaster, what do you like about the Waterfall?” I remember asking her once when I was still in my stripes. 

She had answered with a simple smile, “Something calls to my soul there, or maybe it’s because that was the first place everything started for me.” 

It was a weird way of seeing things, but it still fascinated me.

Even now, as I stood there, feeling exactly the opposite of what Mrs Gaster did, I could somewhat see what she meant. For her, Waterfall reminded her of her soulmate, their dates and other pleasant memories. 

For me, however, it was… different. 

I love Waterfall because of what it stood for — resilience, adaptability, hope, especially if you visited the wish room. But it was also layered with painful memories for me, like Mrs Gaster's death.

…and how I met Ailya. 

“It's interesting how you echo after me even after being plucked,” I joked as the echo flower in my arm echoed the words back to me, its sound lower than the ones still rooted in the ground. My running theory for that was that echo flowers absorbed all the nutrients and magic from the ground and water and that's what they used as energy to echo back.

After being plucked, that decreased until it came to another source of magic. 

Funnily enough though, the most likely reason why they even started to echo sounds like this was to get more magic and attract their natural pollinators — monsters. 

Specifically, the monsters who loved to talk to the echo flowers. 

I still remember the day I theorised that and told Wingdings about it. He wasn't only fascinated but also dumbfounded at the adaptability of Mother Nature. Fascinating at its core, as always. 

I roamed around Waterfall a little more, as I always did, enjoying the serenity of the place along with its remoteness in comparison to the capital. 

…maybe we should move here? 
What are the chances I'll accidentally make Undyne and Alphys meet earlier than their game counterparts?

Something like a soft whisper reached my ears, making me pause immediately as I strained to hear what was being said. I knew it wasn't from the echo flowers — they had a different undertone than the natural one we monsters had, but the voice I heard… 

It didn't feel like a monster either, since I felt no magic frequency. 
Because if I did, I would've heard it clearly — I was quite sensitive to magic, after all. 

As quietly as I could, I started walking towards the perceived sound, trying my best to hear more and see where it was coming from. 

It wasn't until I was farther into one of the rooms that I heard it again.

“Somebody, anybody…!”

My soul thundered as the voice registered in my brain. It sounded like a child — a human child because they spoke verbally and not by magic. 

“Who's there?” I spoke verbally too, disliking how difficult it came to me, unlike monster speak. Not to mention, my voice sounded infinitely different from my past life; a fact that made something in me stir and I hated it even more.

“He-Hello!” The voice echoed back, making me speed up towards the room at the corner, “Is anybody the-there? Ca-Can you he-hear me?” 

“Yes, I can,” I replied softly as I entered a room that had some grass growing in the middle of it, out of which someone peeked at me. 

Fuck, it was a human.
A human who was clearly a child and scared of me, if the clear hesitance reflected in their eyes was anything to go by. 

“Hello, my child,” I continued speaking softly to her as I lowered myself and opened my arms to show my hands, “I, I am Koray. Who are you, if it's alright to ask?” 

“...Ailya,” deep blue eyes peered at me, their colour a stark contrast with her pale skin and dark hair.

Wait, last I knew, humans aren't supposed to be that pale—

“Hello, Ailya,” the urgency in my voice was audible as I asked, “Are you alright? You look very pale, more pale than it should be normal for any living being. Are you hurt anywhere?” 

There was a hesitant pause from her end as her eyes darted towards the grass where the lower half of her body was lying, or rather hiding in a way. 

“Yes,” her voice was quiet and quivering, “My, my legs — they won't move. I can't feel them anymore.” 

I took a deep breath to calm the riding panic in me, “Okay, okay,” I slowly approached her, dropping the echo flower in my hand somewhere on the side, “Is it okay if I come check it? I'm a healer and I can help you heal whatever injury you've on your legs.” 

Only after Ailya agreed did I approach her, taking my time to make sure I was within her scope of visibility and completely relaxed to not freak her out more than she already was. 

Things looked even worse up close as I gently checked her body for injuries without jolting too much. 

“Your left ankle is broken,” I stated the obvious, avoiding to touch her in case she wasn't comfortable with the same, “Looks like a compound fracture that needs to be set before any healing,” I paused before continuing again, “Your other leg seems to have some minor scraps and wounds. Would you like me to heal you here and carry you somewhere be—” 

“N-No!” Her yell startled both me and her as we looked at each other for a few moments, “Um, just, can you please heal me he-here? I, I really don't want to go out and fight a-again.” 

“...No one will fight you,” I gently reassured as I proceeded to do what she requested, “I promise. I will stop them, Ailya.” I didn't push her any further as she looked at me with doubt and fear, the expression making my soul ache as I silently observed her and her body language. 

Ailya looked barely older than 14 years old with her short, dark brown hair and deep blue eyes. The tear stains on her face were very much visible up close, along with the dirt on her hands and clothes. She seemed to be wearing a pink sweater with blue stripes, making me wonder if Toriel gave it to her or if she always had it. 

The pink tutu gave me the answer as I realised that it was a full matching outfit with her blue leggings and pale pink ballet shoes — both of which had tears and dirt smeared on them as if from running.

Which would most likely be the case if her words were anything to go by. 

The healing took more time than I would like, mostly because of the place and how I didn't quite have the equipment I needed to set the ankle. So, instead of forcing an awkward healing that could impair her from walking, I healed all her cuts and bruises and the bare minimum of the fracture. 

“We'll need to set it first,” I added after I explained everything I had healed to her, “And then heal it slowly over time. Maybe bit by bit over the week.” 

Ailya's big blue eyes looked at me with indescribable emotions before looking down at her feet. “I,” her voice quivered, “Can you really heal me?” 

“I can try,” I replied honestly, “Healing is usually nothing but magic aiding and accelerating your body's natural healing ability.” 

“What about diseases?” 

This time, I hesitated before answering, “Healing cannot make diseases or disorders better, I'm afraid.”

“Okay,” I hated the fact that she looked deflated, “I, I don't know what to do anymore. Where to go or where to even… I just, I, I just want to see mom. I want to go home.” 

I didn't say anything as I sat down beside her on the ground, listening to her quietly as Ailya slowly started talking about how she felt and sobbing by the end of it. The only thing I could offer to her at that point was my company and a gentle hand on her head. 

“Ailya,” I gently called her attention, “This place, it's not a good place to stay. You're not only injured but also in a bad shape health-wise. Would you like me to carry you over to my house and treat you there?” 

“...will you really do that?” 

Fuck, I hated how she even had to ask such a question with so much fear and uncertainty. 

“Yes, absolutely,” I didn't let my true emotions show as I gently coaxed her to let me carry her to my home, my words soon taking effect as she let me do so after a while. 

“Let me cover you first,” I wrapped my lab coat around her, noticing how she was almost the same height as me, if not taller, “Then we'll move.” I gently tucked her into my scarf and covered her face with the same before gently carrying her over in my arms, princess style.

“Are you comfortable in this position?” I adjusted her slightly as she nodded her head, “Good, great. Now, do a thing — keep your face hidden in the crook of my neck, alright? Use that scarf to cover whatever face you aren't able to hide and stuff the rest in my shoulders or tank top. Also, can you please pick up the umbrella as I kneel down? The water dripping may get us wet if we don't use it.” 

“I-I can open and hold it for you, um, us?” 

“Yes, please.” I did as I said, allowing Ailya to grab the umbrella I had discarded alongside the echo flower. When I looked at her in question, she simply pointed out that I had brought that with me, too.

“You sure you comfortable carrying it?” 

“It's only a, a flower. It's not that heavy,” she shivered before squishing herself further against my body and the lab coat wrapped around her.

“Thank you,” I smiled as I felt her nuzzle her cold face on my shoulder, “Now, let's get moving. Whisper to me if you feel pain anywhere or if your leg jolts too much, okay?” 

The journey from the Waterfall was a silent but quite anxious one as Ailya gripped me tightly whenever anyone passed by, making it painful for me at times while downright worrisome when she shivered at random intervals. 

I'll be honest, I didn't know what I was doing, at all. I know we needed human souls to break the barrier and we already had 5 of them. I also knew that 6 human children (minus Chara) were to die before Frisk ever fell to the underground — this was a canon fact that was unchangeable.

…or at least, it was previously. 

What if I could change it? What if… what if I protected Ailya? Saved her and housed her with us till… till Frisk fell? Or if she expired from old age instead? 

Would it be wise? Would she really stay with me, when she didn't even do so with Toriel? 

“Here's my home,” I said so quietly, knowing she'd be easily able to hear me given how close she was to me, “Would you mind sharing the room with me? My bed is big enough for two, unless you'd like me—” 

“Wi-Will you really stay with me?” There was a strange hopefulness in her voice that tugged at my soul.  

“Sure,” I breathed out, “If it's alright with you, of course.” And as I guessed, it really was. 

“Okay, let's first set your bone and then do everything else,” I said as I placed her on the bed gently, already calculating how I'll have to change the covers after I helped her shower and maybe after I fed her, since she might be hungry. Hm, let's see. 

The process was quick but a daunting one since Ailya felt the pain this time due to all the adrenaline flushed out of her system. Her screams made my soul ache but I still pushed it through because that's all I could do at the moment. 

“I'm so sorry, my dear,” I brushed the hair out of her eyes as she hiccuped while crying, “We don't quite have painkillers underground, at least, not for humans. I'm so sorry.” 

Ailya shook her head, as if to say it was alright, before leaning on me. Her body shook from her crying still, making me automatically caress her head just like I did when Alphys cried on my shoulder. That seemed to be the right move too, as she leaned further into my touch, her eyes closing as she sniffled while trying her best to stop crying. 

By the time she did stop crying, her eyes were drooping from mental and physical exhaustion, one I understood and didn't discourage her from. 

It didn't hit me until I had gently cleaned her previously-wounded-and-now-healed areas with a wet cloth — Ailya was young. She was as young as my baby sister Alphys and barely taller than my sister in my past life. 

Something about that thought made my throat close up. 

…was this the price of our freedom? The suffering and death of 7 children? The pain and fear of barely independent humans? 

My thumb gently rubbed her head, making her lean into my touch further.

“I'm sorry,” I apologised to her sleeping figure as I tucked her hair away from her face, “I'm so sorry for what happened to you, Ailya. You did so well on your own. You don't have to do it alone anymore, not if I have anything to say about it.” 

And that was one of the only promises I ever made to myself. 

》:✦:《

In my experience, split-second decisions always lead to either the most memorable moments or harsh lessons etched into the soul. 

Ailya was somehow both for me.

“Ailya, dear, would you like me to make spicy oats or the sweeter kind?” 

Deep blue eyes greeted me from the table, “What is Alphys having?” 

“Sp-Spicy oatmeal!” Alphys replied herself as she came downstairs with her college books, “I hope it's o-okay?” 

“Of course it is,” Ailya smiled as Alphys pulled the chair beside her and sat down on the dining table, “What's that book about? What are you studying? Can you explain it to me too, please?” 

I laughed as Alphys shuffled with nervous excitement to explain magical biology to Ailya, her stuttering becoming less and less as she dived into the thesis topic she was planning to work on. 

It's been barely two days since Ailya had started living with us and she already meshed so well with Alphys that they both feel more like sisters than me and Alphys. 

“That's why o-our soul is weaker than human so-souls!” She explained as she showed the diagram in her book, “The output and usage matter a lot for magic concentration.” 

“And that's also why all monsters have magic but not all humans do,” I added as I brought two plates of oats and placed them in front of them, “Because we are used to producing and living in magic.” 

“That's amazing,” Ailya said breathlessly as she peeked into Alphys's book, “But, why are monsters' souls like, inverted hearts?” 

Hm, maybe cause of Toby Fox's aesthetic choice? 

Alphys shrugged, “I-It just is.” 

I smiled as I sat down with my own plate, all three of us talking about magical biology before moving onto how the surface was and everything Ailya knew. She was a bit awkward still about disclosing any info about her own life, but she had no issues discussing human technology and organisations aboveground. 

That's also how I got to know that we were currently in the year 1828 — something that left me quite breathless in disbelief. 

1828. 
That means we are about 200 years away from Frisk falling and the main plotline and game of resets to start. 

It was much longer than I expected. Or maybe it was just the human in me who was used to counting everything under 100 years because of the previously short lifespan. 

Regardless, it was nice knowing where I was in the timeline. And how much time I had on my hands. 

I smiled as I helped carry Ailya to my room, her legs dangling from my arms as I listened to her musing about magic and how beautifully bright they were. 

In my past life, I had Multiple Sclerosis — an autoimmune disorder that was caused due to my own immune system attacking my brain and nerve cells. It sometimes left me unable to walk or even feel in a majority of my body, along with other issues. 

Never had I ever thought I'd meet that disorder again in this life, specifically in someone else. 

Though, while it was easy for me to recognise the symptoms for what it was, that wasn't the case for Ailya, who was a young child from the 1800s. 

“Doctors didn't know what was wrong with me, so Mamma took me to new ones. Medicines didn't work well but the pain… it went away. But slowly Mamma couldn't pay for them anymore,” Ailya quietly confessed in the middle of the night as sleep slowly overcame her, “She, she worked and worked but couldn't… and Papa hated when she wasn't home and just…” 

Her slurred words painted an image of a lonely home with busy parents and neglected children. 

She relayed how she was a sickly child since she was born — so unlike her younger brother that her father hated her. He hated how she was ‘defective’ and ‘unable to accomplish anything on her own.’

And while her mother tried to protect her from the abuse, it wasn't enough. 
It wasn't enough when she had to be out all day to get money for her treatment, which the father refused to help with. 

“Papa didn't like when Mamma went to work,” her voice was small and quiet, just like her cries, “He…” 

“Did he hit her? Hit you?” 

“...Not me,” she shifted in the bed, before moving closer to me as if to seek comfort. 

The things she spoke about her family made me feel rage against a person I had never met — and a society that never accommodated her. Her tales of her broken home and bullying neighbours made me feel unfiltered rage, especially when I could hear the unfiltered pain in her voice. 

But that couldn't compare with the sheer horror that overtook me when she told me how she had to start doing ballet to make money to help and how she loved dancing... but hated "catering" to the patrons there. 

She was forced to be a prostitute, making her earnings backstage just like the other ballerinas. 

…I’d never had the urge to kill as strong as I did at that moment, with Ailya curled in my arms like she was afraid I’d leave. 

“How did you fall down here, Ailya?” I asked softly after a beat of silence, my mind and breath a mess of emotions before I realised maybe she had fallen asleep, “...Ailya?” 

“One of the patrons asked me for dinner and I… he just…” Oh… 

I didn't say anything as Ailya curled in further, her body quivering as she cried silently. 

I hated it. 
I hated her fucking trash of a father who rejected her only because of her disability. 

I hated how society not only fucking failed her but pushed her into selling her body despite how her condition deteriorated because of all that abuse. 

I hated to think about how she was most likely dumped here in the mountains after… everything that vile creature did to her.

I hated how Ailya still framed the whole thing as if it was her fault — as if she deserved it and should have seen it coming. How even her father hated her and maybe that was because of how 'dirty' she was and how poor she made them.

“I, I just wanted him to care for me,” she hiccuped into my arms as she sniffled, “All my friends ha-had their dads pick them up and, and bring them outside to play and, and…” 

“It's not your fault, sweetie,” I hugged her tighter, “It never was, it never will be.” 

“Then wh-why…?” 

“Because he was an angry, bitter man,” I controlled my emotions with an iron grip so as not to cuss out loud, “Your father was the one who failed to love you. It was the society that failed you, my dear. It was never your fault, Ailya, never.”

“...even if I'm always sick?” 

“Even when you're always sick.” Her arms tightened around me, “You deserve love because of who you are, my dear, not because your existence benefits someone. You deserve all the hugs and love you want.” 

I hated how familiar she was with crying silently, even when she was completely breaking down. 

》:✦:《

“You didn’t have to come all the way to Hotland to pick up the paper, Koray, Sans could've dropped it off,” Wingdings immediately pointed out as he handed me the said papers, “Let that lazybones walk around a bit, please. He's gathering dust in the corner of the lab anyway.” 

“Hey,” Sans gave his older brother a look as I suppressed a smile, “At least I don’ go ‘round and create a mess for others to clean. The only reason you can even walk here is ‘cause I cleaned it up, bucko.” 

“Please, it was as much of my mess as it was yours—” 

“Don't you dare pin any of it on me—” 

“Okay, okay, stop it! Both of you!” I immediately interjected, giving the two brothers a look as they looked back at me sheepishly, “Stop fighting like toddlers and go home to get some sleep. You both look like you’ve seen better days, especially with those dark indents under your eyes.”

“We're fine, Koray—” 

“Fine? Fine? Dings, you guys are made up of bones. And even that didn't stop those dark circles from showing up! Just, for the love of Stars, go the fuck to sleep, please.” 

That started a completely new tangent as the science-addict brothers kept arguing against me for my whole visit there until I threatened to throw them off the bridge and into the lava. 

Well, to be fair, that didn't quite deter them either — rather, it was me leaving and closing the door behind me that stopped it. That threat was just the last of what I said to make them at least take my words seriously. 

…which I was almost 100% sure they wouldn't. 

Stars, I wish I could just sit and nag at them like I used to. Unfortunately, I now had a job and two kids to look after — one of whom was a human and very much needed my medical assistance, despite how limited it was.

“It's alright, it's alright,” I reassured Ailya after she suddenly collapsed in the middle of the kitchen, “It happens, it's okay.” 

“I-I, I'm not going to-o die?” 

“Nope, you won't,” I rubbed circles on her back, helping her ground and stabilise her breathing as I sat down beside her, “It's just… your nerves failed to register the needed stimulus and now you're all outta whack.” 

“Wh-What are nerves, Miss Koko?” 

I smiled as I explained what nerves were, drawing with my dull, clawed fingers across her arms to show what they did and how subtle yet essential they were. I enjoyed the curiosity in her eyes as she drank in every word I gave her, learning things at a pace that made the teacher in me giddy with joy. 

Stars, I loved teaching. 

“What do these little hairs on my arm do?” Ailya looked at her arms in amazement, “Do they protect me from the cold? Like, like they do for dogs?” 

“I mean, yes, but not exactly,” I answered honestly as I got up from the floor and gently scooped her up in my arms. 

Her questions were curious, bright and vibrant in a way only a kid's could be. She reminded me of Alphys when she was young — well, younger. Now, her questions were much higher grade than before and sometimes out of my scope of knowledge too.

That's where Sans and Wingdings came in, so at least it was still covered. 

“Miss Koko.” 

“Yes, my dear?” 

“Why do you take care of me?” 

I hummed as I gently placed her on the couch, “Why shouldn't I?” 

Ailya looked at me hesitantly before turning away, “Won't my soul help you get out?” 

I froze at her words, realising that she knew, “Who told you that?” 

“...other monsters did,” she confessed softly, “Miss Toriel also said how monsters would always pull me into an encounter even if I just met them because that's what they were trained to do. Why didn't you fight me?” 

I sighed as I placed my head on her hands, “Because I didn't want to,” I admitted honestly, “Not all monsters want to fight and rarely do any monster actually want to kill. We…” I wondered how much I should tell her, “We were sealed here, underground, after the war ended. Most of the monsters right now are the next generation of those who fought in the war centuries ago. But we still were taught how to defend… or fight in case we ever needed.” 

“Did humans put you guys here?” 

“...yes.” 

“Would my soul help you guys to get out?” 

I sighed, “Yes, but you don't need to worry about it.” 

“Why?” 

“Because it's not your responsibility,” I paused before explaining a bit, “It's not your responsibility to get us out, Ailya. You didn't do anything to us.” 

“But wouldn't it be the right thing to do?” She asked softly, her hands gripping mine as she sought non-verbal reassurance, “To help the monsters leave? I don't have much to live for anyway.” 

“Ailya—” 

“I know my body, Miss Koko,” she interrupted for the first time, “I, I know that my body is weak and I'm not healing well. I… I know.” 

I stayed silent as I knew there was nothing I could say at that point. 

Ailya… was not well. 
Her Multiple Sclerosis was, for some reason, getting worse day by day at a speed I know shouldn't be possible. And if that wasn't enough, then her body was slowly weakening more and more each day. 

Why? Because she wasn't getting enough of anything — sunlight, fresh air… human food. A lot of the micronutrients I knew were essential for the human body weren't available underground, and healing could only do so much. 

She had been underground for months now too, if what she told about her time with Toriel was anything to go by. 

“Wouldn't it be easier if I just gave up—” 

“No,” I barely held back the growl rising in my throat, “No. You don't owe us anything, Ailya. Not after we attacked you, not after you spent hours running away and almost dying alone in Waterfall.” 

“But you came,” her eyes were so bright, so soft, as if she wasn't just talking about killing herself for our freedom, “You came when I called. You helped me when I needed.” 

“And that's the least I could do,” I stressed, my soul aching, “You're young, my dear. Barely out of stripes, just like my younger sister. You shouldn't be worried about these things.” 

“Even if I could help you solve it?” 

“You can't, sweetie,” I said as gently as possible, “We need seven souls. And even if we take yours, it'll only be six. So, stop worrying. Just, just live as healthily as you can. Fight it, stand against it and don't give up, please.” 

I hated how the look in her eyes never changed at my words. 
How those deep blues reflected exactly what she knew. 

She reminded me of myself when I was in the hospital in my past life. 

…never thought I'd be on the other side of the bed, holding the patient's hand as I prayed for another day with them. Is this how my family always felt for me? 

Then again, what did I know? 

“Koray…” Wingdings froze as he stood at the door of my house, that he entered with the spare key I forgot I gave him, his eyelights extinguished from his sockets, “Wh-What are you—” 

“Don't,” I couldn't keep the panic out of my voice as my soul thundered in my chest, “Wingdings, I can explain, I promise I can.” 

“A human?!” his eyelights came back as he roared at me, his face twisted in the deepest frown I'd ever seen him, “That's what you were hiding from us? That's why you didn't let us come in and, and, left us because of it?!” 

“She,” I growled before stopping when I realised Ailya looked scared at everything happening at the moment, “Don't you dare treat her like an object, Wingdings.” 

“I-I’m not—” he shook his head as he entered properly and closed the door behind him, pacing around the living room as he kept glaring at Ailya on the couch, “Why didn't you tell us? Does the council know? Does Asgore know of this? Isn't it, uh, she the sixth—” 

“For the love of Angel, shut up, Windings!” I hated how all he saw Ailya as her soul and nothing else, “Just, just leave, now! ” 
 
His glare shifted to me from Ailya, “And then what, Koray? You gonna play the little hero to your little human at the expense of our future?”

I glared back, “That's what you think I'm doing?” 

“If not, then what?” He yelled, his hand rubbing his face roughly, “What should I take it as, Koray?” 

I didn't bother to reply to him. Instead, I focused on reassuring Ailya as I gently gathered her in my arms to move from the couch to my room. 

“Koray, answer me!” Apparently, Wingdings didn't like that as he followed after me, his voice low and accentuated in a manner I had never heard before. However, he crossed a line when he grabbed my elbow, almost making me slip and drop Ailya before I turned to him and growled. 

“Don't you fucking touch me again,” I snarled, baring all my teeth as I felt Ailya bury her face against my chest, “Use your fucking mouth!” 

I didn't notice at that time but my words deeply wounded Wingdings, leaving him there in the hallway, standing in both shock and disbelief. 

It wasn't until I finally came out of my room and shut the door did I realise Wingdings was still standing there, looking at me with a blank face. 

“...” I looked right back at him, taking the moment to properly observe him. He looked tired, though not as tired as earlier — his eyesockets still had rings of dark indent underneath them, but looked much lighter than before. 

Overall, he looked better if not for his unnaturally blank expression. 

I moved past him to go downstairs to the kitchen, knowing well that he'd follow me, which he did.

“Who's that human?” 

“Ailya,” I answered gently, much calmer than before now that she was safe in my room, “Found her in the Waterfall in one of the more remote rooms in the back. She's 13 years old; she was… left on the mountain in the dark before she tripped and fell her way over here.” I didn't look at him as I focused on making tea for both of us, keeping myself busy in a way to not look like I was avoiding looking at him. 

“And her soul trait?” 

I scoffed, “I don't know, nor do I want to.” 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” he hissed, “Do you have any idea what you are doing? This is treason, Koray, treason. They'll put you on trial if they find out you're housing a human without permission. You'll be charged for obstruction of justice and—” 

“You think I don't know?” 

“Your actions don't fucking look like you do!” He yelled as he started pacing around in the kitchen now, “Koray, what are you doing?” 

“The right thing, Dings, the right fucking thing,” I gritted my teeth as I turned the stove off, “Ailya there is a child, Dings, a 13 year old kid who still has years to get out of her stripes! She's even younger than Alphys and barely a year older than Pa—” 

“Don't go there,” Wingdings warned as he stepped towards me, “That human is nothing like our siblings. Stop drawing parallels where there are none.” 

The disbelief I felt at his words left me breathless, “What?” I looked at his agitated figure, “Is this what you really think of humans? Nothing but a means to free monsters?” 

“No,” his answer was firm but honest, “But unlike you, I don't compare them with my brothers.” 

“I'm not comparing them—” 

“Oh no, you're replacing, then?” 

“Dings.” 

“What?” He looked at me as if I was the one who offended him, “Did that hurt? Do you finally feel how I do after realising what you've been hiding from us? Ignoring us for?” 

“I haven't been,” I took a deep breath to calm myself as I leaned against the kitchen slab, “I haven't been ignoring you guys. I just, Ailya needed some time to recover—” 

“And you couldn’t bother to tell us that?” Wingdings hissed as glared back at me, “I'm the fucking royal scientist, Koray. Royal. Scientist. I work under Asgore to help monsterkind and that includes breaking the barrier. The same barrier that humans,” he pointed towards the general direction of my bedroom, “Built to keep us in. The very humans you are trying to protect.” 

“She's a child, Dings.” 

“So is a lot of our population!” he roared again, “You can't be selective about your empathy, Koray! Don't be a fucking hypocrite.” 

“I'm not—” I stopped as my voice cracked, hating how much his words were affecting me, “I know what I'm doing, Dings.” 

“Are you?” He challenged openly. 

“Yes,” I replied without hesitation, “Yes I fucking am. I know Ailya is a human, I know we need seven souls to break the barrier. What I also know is that she's the sixth soul and there's no guarantee the seventh soul will be coming in any time soon. Do you really want to sacrifice the human child instead of letting them live their full course just in hopes that another fucking human falls down? What if they don't? What if they take another century to fall? Then what? You'll cut short such a young life frivolously like that?” 

That finally shut up Wingdings as a beat of silence passed between us. 

“I know you are the royal scientist,” I started slowly, trying my best to ignore that sharp pain still left in my chest alongside the panic nestled in my lower abdomen, “Not for one second did I forget that, Wingdings. Why else do you think I kept you out of my mess?” The hurt that flashed on his face made me laugh, “What? Didn't you just say you were worried about your job? That I'll jeopardise it?” 

“I, I didn't mean it like that—” 

“Then what do you mean it like, Wingdings?” I hated how my voice cracked at the end, not used to calling him by his full name at all, “What should I take everything you said as? If you think I'll be scared of your words or won't stand by my ideals, you're wrong, Royal Scientist.” I looked him dead in his eyelights, “If you want to go report to Asgore about it, go ahead.” 

Wingdings looked at me in disbelief and some emotion I wasn't quite certain about, “I would never…” his face twisted to another frown, “Do you even know what you're talking about? Do you think you'll be able to take the consequences of your action? Alone?” 

“Yes,” I didn't have any doubt about that, “I knew what could happen when I took Ailya in. And I'll be ready for it — let it be a fight or an execution.” 

“You won't be executed—” 

“Just like the five human children?” 

“Their case was different, Koray! Why don't you understand!” 

“Because no one is explaining that to me, Wingdings!” I yelled back, “All these years — years, Wingdings — I was taught we monsters are made up of love, hope and magic and then I come to find out what? That my own mother killed a human child? That we monsters were opting to kill instead of waiting for the children to end with their natural lifespan?!” 

He looked at me as if I had hit him, “We, Koray, not all humans are harmless.” 

“Nor are all humans dangerous,” I stressed again, “You and Asgore are just stereotyping them in a box to make yourself feel better about your decisions and expect everyone else to follow suit. I'm not like that.” 

Wingdings sighed as he plopped down on the dining table chair, “Koray… not all humans who fell down were pacifists. Some of them killed monsters.”

“I agree, but tell me this: how many of them were out of self-defence?” I threw back, “How many of those fights were started by monsters?” 

He didn't say anything as he looked away, knowing damn well what was the answer to that question. 

“If you think that breeding violence like this is going to bring us anything but violence back, then you're wrong,” I closed my eyes, finally turning back to focusing on making tea, “War is what got us here and if we continue the way we did, another will greet us when we get out. And we won’t be surviving that this time.” 

“The way things are going, we won't be getting out in our lifetimes, Koray.” 

“Then I'd rather do it for our next generation,” my grip on the mug tightened, “We are the reason there are already 5 coffins in the palace. We have to take responsibility or else the whole monsterkind will.” I turned around, “And the first step to that is treating the humans that now fall right.” 

Wingdings looked much more tired than he did before, “It's… it's easier said than done, Koray.” 

“Nothing worth doing is ever easy,” I breathed out softly, my voice equally tired and wary, “Wingdings, please, just listen to me. For one second, just one, forget that we are monsters and Ailya is a human. Just focus on us, our names and our beings and tell me — are what we doing right?” 

Several beats of silence followed my question before Wingdings got up and just… left. Not just the kitchen but the house entirely. 

It wasn't until the next day that I got an answer to my question, and in the form of three skeletons at my doorstep.

“Yo-You're not—” 

“Alphys, let them in,” I sighed as Alphys turned to me, all nervous with magic sweat dripping off her neck, “They know.” 

“Oh! You finally told them, sister?” 

I hated to break her bright expression like that but, “No, Wingdings ambushed me yesterday. That's why they know.” 

The said skeleton grimaced as they entered and locked the door behind themselves. Sans looked at both of them with a look of worry as even his permanent grin looked down today. 

Meanwhile, Papyrus didn't hesitate to jump up to hug me, his arms wrapped around me in a gentle grip as he started talking 1000 words per minute. 

“Slow down, Sunshine,” I couldn't help but laugh as I patted the now slightly taller skeleton, “Remember what I taught you? Conversation is a two-way activity, my dear.” 

Papyrus nodded as he finally slowed down and let me go, “I KNOW SISTER! I'LL REMEMBER TO FOLLOW IT.” He loudly ‘cleared’ his non-existent throat, “I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT I SUPPORT YOU, KOKO!” He turned to look at his two elder brothers, giving them a look, “IN FACT, ALL THREE OF US DO! AND, WE APOLOGISE FOR WHAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY — IT WASN'T KIND OF DING-DING TO AMBUSH YOU LIKE THAT!” 

I silently listened as Papyrus continued speaking for the three of them, apologising expertly by pointing out what he thought was what they did wrong and laying out how they'll do better — just the way I taught him. He even made Wingdings apologise with his vigour. Though, to be fair to him, the eldest did look ashamed and willing to apologise on his own too. 

“You were right, Koray,” Wingdings admitted and he looked down at his hands, “I… I was so used to what Dad taught us that I didn't… I forgot that life includes all organisms, not just a certain species. It was very narrow-minded and rude of me, I apologise.” He finally looked up at me, “I, I'll apologise to the hu, uh, Alia as well, if you're okay with it?” 

“Ailya,” I corrected him softly, “Her name is Ailya. Her mother named her after their Turkish relative with whom her mother grew up.” 

“Oh,” he looked surprised at my words, “Turkish? What's that?” 

“It's an adjective used for anything that originates from the country Turkey,” I smiled as I noticed Sans and Papyrus perked up at the new information. “Come on, sit down and have some tea. There's a lot I need to catch you guys up to.” 

“So, we-we're forgiven?” 

“I was never angry at any of you, Sans,” I admitted softly, my eyes trailing from the second eldest to the eldest skeleton, “Not even you, Dings. I just… I'm sorry for the way I treated you yesterday. You didn't deserve to get the brunt of my panic and fear. I'm really sorry.” 

“No, I understand.” Wingdings fidgeted as they sat down on the dining table while Papyrus looked around the house, “I just, it was my fault for not asking you properly and just barging in.” 

“I was indeed surprised at you using the spare key so suddenly.” 

“I…” he hesitated before continuing, “I, we knew you were hiding something — something that was worrying you enough to be stressed and working all the time. You weren't even spending time with us and you never did that before, so I got worried and just… I shouldn't have done it like that. I'm sorry.” 

I didn't reply as I digested the words just said. “I didn't say anything because I wasn't sure what to say,” I admitted slowly, not looking at any of them, “I didn't want to drag you boys into it as well, especially given how it was illegal in the highest order too.” 

Alphys joined us at the table, opting to stand beside me and squeeze my shoulder before I grabbed her hand in mine. 

“WHAT ABOUT ALPHYS?” Surprisingly, Papyrus piped up, “WHEN DID SHE KNOW ABOUT IT?” 

“...right from the start,” I grimaced as the three skeletons gave me identical unimpressed looks, “Look, I was already dooming Alphys by association, so—” 

“You weren't dooming me, Koko!” 

“BUT WE ARE ASSOCIATED WITH YOU TOO!” Papyrus interjected, “WHY DON'T YOU DOOM US TO? LET US SHARE THE RESPONSIBILITY!” 

“Yes, don't do it alone, Ray,” Sans took my other hand, rubbing circles on it like always. “We… we can help, trust in us, why don't ya?” 

“Even if that means every single one of you can be tried for treason if this gets out?” 

“Sure,” Sans didn't even hesitate a second to reply, “The right thing's important, isn't it? That's what we're doing. And it's not like Asgore never took in a human child and treated ‘em like his own.” 

“THAT INDEED WILL BE HYPOCRITICAL OF OUR KING IF HE GOES AGAINST HIS OWN ACTIONS!” 

I laughed as my throat itched with emotions. Stars, I loved these idiots. 

My idiots. 

From then onwards, the conversation slowly devolved to the morals behind King's declaration against humans before finally coming back to Ailya and where she was. 

“She's been sick since la-last night, “ Alphys relayed as we walked upstairs towards my room, “Her condition… it's getting worse. We don't know what it is, though.” 

“NOT ENOUGH HUMAN MEDICAL KNOWLEDGE?” 

“Not nearly enough medicines to treat anything either,” I shook my head, sighing as we reached the door, “Now, please talk slowly and softly for her, okay? Let her come to you and don't crowd her too much, if possible.” 

With that, I opened the door and let them in — my first step to integrating my two worlds. And honestly, I was glad I did. 

Especially when I got to see how happy Ailya was at her new friends — Papyrus setting her at ease right from the start, while Sans smoothed out the awkwardness and Wingdings did his best to apologise and talk with the little girl. 

It was a beautiful sight, one that gave me the hope that yes, maybe I could change things. I could change the timeline and what was to come. I just needed to find a way, be more active. 

Be more… me. 

“It's more than enough, what you're doing,” Sans told me when he came down to the kitchen to help me prepare food for Ailya.

“That's the least I could do, Sans…”

“No, the least you could do was nothing,” squeezed my hand in his, “What you're doing nowadays is proving what we monsters are at our core.” 

I stood there in the kitchen for a few moments, basking in his words as I looked at him with everything I had.

“...Even if I don't feel it's enough?” I whispered, as if afraid the universe would hear me, “Even if I, I can't stop her from dying?” 

“It's not your fault,” he nuzzled my face, making me lean in at his sudden sweet and comforting gesture, “You're doing your best, and that is enough.” 

The logical part of me knew he was right, knew that there was very little I could do to help her despite what I already wasn't doing. But the emotional side of me? It refused to accept it. 

It refused to accept that her death wasn't on my hands, until the day I dusted. Or, well, almost dusted. But that wasn't a thing until decades later. 

》:✦:《

To me, the worst way to die was slowly wasting away due to a disease, leaving nothing but a shell of the person you previously were. 

I didn't realise it was the worst way to see someone die too — to see your loved one waste away till barely anything of them was left.

It was almost a month later that Ailya couldn't get out of bed on her own anymore. 
Her legs had finally given up working as her body slowly shut down limb by limb. 

It was scary, confusing and more devastating than it would feel despite knowing what was coming. 

Everything I did, from sea tea to healing magic to even feeding her my diluted green magic — everything stopped working after a while. Her body stopped accepting magic at all and left her at the mercy of her own compromised immune system. 

It didn't help that it was the 1800s and she didn't have any prominent vaccine either, leaving her vulnerable to the weather that she fell victim to soon after. Her fever was continuous, with only short respites that barely broke the temperature. 

The only positive side to all of this was that Ailya seemed very positive about everything around her and wasn't as anxious as… well, she should be. She knew the full depth of her condition and yet, somehow, she still enjoyed every day without counting any of them as her possible last. 

I don't know if it was because of Papyrus’ influence or her own bright view of things, but I was glad her last days weren't ones spent in dread and sadness. 

“You would like to go back to Waterfall?” I asked as I set down the bowl of soup at her bedside, “Are you sure about that?” 

“Yes!” She laughed as she leaned on my body, almost curling in on my shoulder, “I wanna see the beautiful echo flowers again and Sans promised me to show the wishing room too!” 

I sighed fondly at her childish glee before agreeing because what could I say anyway? The twinkling in her eyes was hard to resist — especially when they continued on all the way there.

I sat back and watched Papyrus and Sans acting as the tour guides for us, describing each corner of the Waterfall excitedly. It was beautiful and quiet, with a slight feeling of something that I could only describe as the serenity of wishes and memories. 

The wishing room especially radiated that feeling, along with a sense of melancholic hope that always lingered around monsters. 

Ailya found that room the most fascinating, especially when she watched the ‘stars’ there with the telescope that Sans brought. Papyrus even recited the stories he heard about stars from his school, asking how they really looked and if they really were uncountable. 

I exchanged a grin with Sans as the two kids yapped around together, their voices hushed with wonder and excitement, while we sat down on the picnic blanket so prepared by our little Papyrus. 

It wasn't long after that Wingdings found us with Alphys in tow, whom he picked up from the school on his way. 

“It's beautiful, isn't it?” Sans asked softly as he leaned in towards me on the blanket, his eyelights never straying from Wingdings and Papyrus as they ran around the field with Alphys in tow and Ailya in arms. 

“Yes,” I sighed fondly, “Yes, they really are.” 

Sans huffed as he adjusted his position to face me, his face beaming with fond amusement, “I meant the scenery, Ray.” 

“Oh, that is too.” I grinned sheepishly, looking towards the dark but subtle bluish-green glow of the echo flowers and water around us. “This whole place gives me a type of peace that just makes me feel safe, you know? Safe and sleepy.” 

His grin widened at my words as he agreed as well, before pulling off some awful puns about sleep and flowers. The smack I gave him upside his head did nothing but encourage him more. 

That was one of the days of my life I'd always remember back fondly. 

The day that reminded me why I continued living and why my second life was no less worth it than my first one. 

“Dance with me?” I asked softly, watching Ailya's eyes widen before she looked down at her legs, “Don't worry about them, just tell me — would you like to have a dance with me?” 

“Yes, yes, please!” 

I smiled as I gently picked her up from the picnic blanket, balancing her in a way that all her weight was on my arms while the soles of her feet lay on top of mine. 

Our dance was slow with barely any movement — it was a simple coordinated waltz that I once learned from my friend in my past life and tried to do it for the first time in this one. 

I hummed the tune of a song I no longer remembered the lyrics of, reflecting on a time that only I had memories of. And yet, the memories I made right now were no less precious as Ailya placed her head over my shoulders and whole trust in my hands while we ‘danced’ slowly one last time. 

I didn't say anything when I felt her eyes glisten with tears, nor did I point out the wet spots on my shirt as I simply led her through the dance with a gentle but firm hand. 

“...thank you,” her voice was barely above a whisper, “Thank you, for taking care of me. For, for helping me dance one last time.” 

“It's the least I could do,” I whispered back, “Thank you for trusting me with your presence, Ailya. It's been a joy knowing you.” 

Ailya's watery chuckle was all I heard for the next few moments until she stopped slowly and nuzzled my shirt, “I wish you all were my real family. Especially you Miss Koko. I wish you were my elder sister.” She sighed as she closed her eyes, “I, I hope when I'm born again, I can be born as your family.” 

Those words affected me more than I’d ever be able to admit. 

“I wish you would do so too, my dear Ailya.” 

》:✦:《

Ailya passed away peacefully in her sleep. 

The first one to notice it, of course, was me since she slept in my bed, beside me. 

It wasn't a… harrowing discovery. No.
It was just… that. 

I mourned her, yes, but there was a strange acceptance to it that I didn't realise I'd have. It was like when my parents died — it happened, it affected me but it didn't… It didn't make me cry. 

It did, however, make me wonder if I was that heartless, though, beyond other things. 

“Koray…” 

“I'm fine, Alphys,” I assured her, my voice stable and eerily calm, “It's… fine. Just, go and grab that soul container. We need to preserve the soul before it disintegrates.” 

I watched the peaceful expression on Ailya's face as I gently brushed her hair away from her face. Stars, she was so young. 

So young and so bright.
And… dead.  

She deserved so much more and yet, I could barely give her anything. 

“Koray?” 

“Hm?” I looked back, “Oh, yes, the container, yes, thank you, my dear.” 

I gently took the container from her hand and grabbed the integrity soul floating in front of me. Its light was so bright and iridescent that it didn't look real for a second. 

It was just like her. 

The hours after that were a bit of a blur for me. 

All I vaguely remember was carrying Ailya's body in my arms before walking through New Home to the palace — an ordeal that was much more public than I realised, apparently. At least, enough to make Sans and Wingdings run all the way from Hotland to me in worry and grief. 

They took Alphys’ responsibility of carrying the soul and sent her back home — something I was immensely glad for. 

Once we were in front of the King, we kneeled and presented our… findings. 

All Asgore did was to mournfully accept them and thank the three of us for our duty to the monsterkind. 

“For your contribution, what would you like me to reward you?” 

“Please let me say a final goodbye to her,” I said softly, not bothering to hide my attachment to Ailya, “I'll be much obliged if you let me do so.” 

And so he did. 
He let me place her in the coffin marked for her to her exact height.

Oh. He knew. 
He knew she was in the underground and even the fact that her soul was the blue of integrity. 

My mind reeled with thoughts on that particular revelation before they halted at the face of the young child who called me her elder sister just a few days prior. 

Ailya. 

I leaned in and kissed her forehead before placing mine on hers, “May our paths cross again, my dear sister.” 

I don't remember how long I was with her, saying my goodbyes.

All I knew was when I met Asgore outside, all I could ask was one thing: why. 

Why allow Ailya to stay with me for all those weeks? Why not arrest me for treason? Why grant my wish so readily? 

“Because what you told me wasn't wrong,” Asgore replied honestly, his tired maroon eyes looking into my ember ones, “And I'm glad I listened to you.” 

I don't remember what I replied back to him, if I even did. 

All I knew was that I was back home that night. 

And my room felt the quietest it ever did, while my bed felt bigger than I ever remember it being. 

Chapter Text

Ailya was the second tipping point in my life.

Time after her felt different. 
Maybe it was because of her absence or maybe it was just because I was suddenly trusted with new responsibilities as a consequence of everything that happened. 

“You want me to be your Royal Advisor?” I asked incredulously as I stared at the large goat monster in front of me, “Despite what I did?” 

“You didn't do anything wrong, Young Koray.” Asgore repeated with a sigh, “You did what you felt was right and you were, if I must admit.” 

“I undermined your authority.” 

“No, you didn't. You didn't follow my orders to fight the human, but you did capture them.” 

I stared at Asgore for longer than necessary, so much so that he started squirming under the table where we were drinking tea. 

“Koray?” 

“Why?” I finally asked, breaking the stare as I looked down at the teacup he placed in front of me, “Why are you doing this? Why me?” 

“Because you're capable,” he looked at me with a sad look, as if he understood what was going on in my mind, “There is no one better than you to guide us, Koray. Your work with the education system was a prime example of it, so was your action with the human.”

“...why now? Because the council asked for it?” 

“No,” he shook his head, “I wanted to ask you for this post years ago. But never really found the right time to do so, especially after the… last chat we had about your mother's responsibility as the Royal Advisor.” 

“I'm not willing to act like my mother did.” 

“And I wouldn't ask you to,” he reassured me, “All I ask you to do is help me structure the underground's system for a better future of monsterkind.” He handed me a biscuit before going back to stirring his own tea, “Your advice is more valuable than anything else, Koray. And I only wish for your help with that. Please give it some thought, alright?” 

And so I did.
I gave it some thought — maybe a lot more than I had to. 

Ailya was dead. 
She was dead because of a combination of her own health complications and the consequences of living underground. 

The only thing I changed was the circumstances of her death — but even that must amount to something, right? 

I changed some parts of the story despite not actively trying to. Would that mean I could change a lot if I did? 

Would I be able to stop Wingdings from falling into the void? Would I be able to avoid any resets from happening? What about Frisk? And Flowey? 

Oh Stars, Flowey.
He was another can of worms I hadn't opened yet, but was due for the same.

Would I be able to change his destiny? Stop Alphys from awakening him? What would that mean for the timeline? For Frisk? 

…would I doom the timeline if I did so?
Would it even affect anything if I did it? 

Honestly, I don't know. But I couldn't bring myself to care either when I thought about protecting Wingdings from the void and Sans from the resets. 

And the only way that would ever be possible was if I got involved with the timeline, heavily unlike how I'd been until now. 

And the only way to do it? Become the Royal Advisor that my Mum once was. 

“It's a good opportunity,” Sans admitted when I met him that day at the Grillby's, “But if yo’ don’ wanna, ya don' hafta.” 

“You're not gonna judge me for being so hesitant? Or even ask anything about it?” 

“No,” he shrugged as he gently brushed his gloved hand against mine, his expression tired but accepting, “I trust yer judgment, Ray. I believe in ya.” 

I huffed as I closed my eyes and soaked in his words — the exact words that I wanted, and maybe even needed, to hear. 

“Thank you, Sans,” I softly whispered.

“Anythin’ for ya, Ray,” he whispered back just as softly before falling asleep on the bartop, much to Grillby’s chagrin. 

》:✦:《

The role of Royal Advisor was broader and, quite honestly, vaguer than I anticipated. But that didn't mean I didn't have my work cut out for me.

“...you don't have any documentation on the same, your Majesty?” I stared at him incredulously, “How do you allocate funds then? Simple verbal agreement?” 

“We put out announcements—” 

“Those are simple declarations, offers at most.” I pointed out, “Not proper agreements on where and how the funds would be used and allocated. While I do understand that monsters aren't usually of the disposition to commit fraud, most monsters certainly aren't financially literate enough to know how to plan their usage efficiently. Why, in the name of Delta Rune and the saving grace of our Angel, are we not doing that?”

The shuffling looks many of the council members exchanged with each other and Asgore gave me a feeling. A very bad one, at that. 

“Won't they know how to spend it better?”

“Have you sat down and discussed the same with them before the allocation? Or even after it?” 

“...No.” 

Yep, my work sure was cut out for me — a fucking large portion at that, too. 

And that belief only kept solidifying with each day as I went through every single sector and business of the Underground, especially those directly under the Royal Family. 

It was, for lack of a better term, a mess. A complete pile of verbal mess since hardly anything was in proper documentation or records, and even the ones that were hadn't been maintained well, at all. 

It took me two whole years to document everything and organise all the old books and scrolls into a proper record. Almost 800 years of history all crammed into one room (library?) that I arranged year by year, section by section. 

Stars, was I ready to burn Asgore down by the end of the whole thing. 

“Unbelievable,” Asgore praised me as he easily found the record of 70 years back for the agricultural produce in the underground, “These, these all are accurate details? All of them?” 

“As far as I could go, yes,” I admitted bitterly, “Every official document and record from departments or sectors are now stored here or copied here as per your order, your Majesty. Though, of course, some are lost to time — specifically those when we used to live in the Ruins.” 

And that amounted to a good 150 to 200 years of our initial confinement. Almost none of the documentation from that time survived or was recoverable. Most monsters around that time dusted due to unfavourable conditions underground as well, so that's that too.

“And you've managed to arrange them this efficiently and quickly?” His voice still held that awestruck tone to it as he turned to me, “Unbelievable, young Koray. You're unbelievably exceptional.” 

“I'd like to use the term stubborn but I'll take that as well, why not,” I said back wryly, loving the way that made Asgore laugh right from his belly, “Now, let's hope we can keep the streak up and not get lost midway through again, yeah?” 

Asgore laughed some more, his eyes bright with mirth as he couldn't stop looking at me like he had just realised something delightful. 

Though what that was, I didn't get to know at that point — not when I was all wrapped up with cleaning up and organising for the Royal Council. 

If only I didn't have that itchy need to categorise everything and organise them… or even that good pay, for the matter of fact. It was a ridiculously high amount too, which was almost double my teaching job that I still hadn't left. 

Why, many wondered and even asked, but the answer was simple — I loved teaching. I loved children asking me questions and learning with that sparkle in their eyes. I loved it when they repeated after me in afterthought or even turned back to ‘teach’ me stuff their parents taught them, like how to close the door or wash their hands. 

Stars, I loved kids.

“SISTER KOKO, SISTER KOKO!” 

My grin automatically widened as Papyrus came barrelling onto me, “Hello there, Sunshine, how can I help you?” 

Papyrus, for all intents and purposes, was the cutest child I'd ever had the pleasure of meeting. From his round face to his fluffy red jacket with little bones for buttons — everything about him was the epitome of adorableness, even though he stood a good few inches taller than me for quite a while now.

“DING-DING TOLD ME TO CALL YOU AND ALPHYS FOR DINNER!” He announced as majestically as always, “THEY ARE PREPARING SOMETHING SPECIAL TONIGHT, NYEH-HEH HEH!” 

“Oh? And why is that?” I asked him offhandedly as we started walking back towards the teacher's lounge, “Did they finally crack the mystery behind echo flowers?” 

“NYEH,” Papyrus fidgeted as he looked around, “NO… IT'S JUST…” The booming sound of his voice lowered down as he whispered, “I, The Great Papyrus, Made A New Friend. And, Um, I Wanted You And Alphys To Meet Her, If You Weren't Too Terribly Busy?” 

“Of course not,” I answered back immediately, “At least I am not. Though I'll have to check with Alphys once.” 

He nodded patiently as he looked down at his gloved hands, “It's Alright If She Isn't Able To Make It. We Can Just Change The Timi—” 

“Oh, don't be ridiculous,” I waved him off, “Sure, we can make it, we're family after all. And it would be really rude to turn down your friend after already inviting them, wouldn't it? I mean, you already invited them, right?” 

“Oh,” Papyrus sweated magic as he shuffled over his feet, a habit he shared with both his older brothers, “I, Um, I Didn't Have To!” 

I gave him a look, silently observing him as he became more and more nervous under my watchful gaze, “You… didn't have to?” Papyrus looked away as he sweated some more, “Papyrus, what aren't you telling me? Come on, spit it out.” 

“MY NEW FRIEND, SHE…” he hesitated before continuing, “She, Um, Doesn't Have A Home. So, She Has Been Living With Us For The Past Few Days.” 

“Oh…” 

That… was news to me. And honestly, a surprising one — not because the skeletons wouldn't do something like this, but more because I didn't get to know about it the very first day it happened. 

I felt oddly… hurt. Maybe even betrayed, which I knew was a stupid thing to feel. 

Was this how Wingdings felt when he got to know about Ailya? 

“SHE IS A GOOD MONSTER, I PROMISE!” Papyrus took my silence as disapproval, “UNDYNE IS VERY PASSIONATE AND KIND!”

Oh, shit. 

》:✦:《

The thing about remembering your past life is that all the knowledge you used to have slowly faded away with time. 

Some things stayed, but a majority of them gently mixed up with the mesh of your current life's history. 

And that was exactly what was happening with me.
The only benefit I had against it was that most of my past life was spent in the hospital, so even the little memories I had of the outside world were special to me and thus, retained longer.

That also included my knowledge of Undertale, of course.

Well, I mused as I slowly cooked the onions to caramelise them, Undertale wasn't exactly the only game I watched the playthrough of but it was the one that stuck with me the most. Its mechanics, the way it was meta and even its comically silly way of pushing pacifism were something I absolutely adored. 

Not to mention how its ending had made me cry — someone who was constantly at the door of death and was used to anything life could put against her. That person cried because we couldn't save Asriel, no matter how hard we tried. Because the game chose realism. 

Because even in the face of magic and fantasy, it showed consequences. 

That's why I used to love Undertale — well, that and the creative fans who had such interesting theories that they blew me away. In fact, I think I was much longer in the fandom instead of jumping ships because of them too, especially with their posts on Tumblr. 

I huffed a laugh when I remembered my current experience with the said fan theories. Right. 

I checked the onions once again before closing the lid and focusing back on shaping the dough for the bread. 

Ironically enough though, there was one thing I was sure of because of the said fan theories: Alphys and Undyne weren't supposed to meet like this. Absolutely not. 

In fact, if I remember reading right, they were canonically meant to meet in the garbage dump or something, which was currently still in its forming stage, actually. Like, literally that space wasn't yet the ‘dump’ the game showed it as and was just a normal space filled with water as of now. 

Not to mention, they both were still in their stripes. 

That was too young to date! 

I mean, I do get that Alphys was already 16 years old and almost out of stripes but it was still too young! We lizards (dinosaurs?) lived way past 3000 — I refuse to allow her to date at least she was older than 25 years, please. 

Not to mention, she needs to complete her doctorate too… which she would be applying for a year or two later. Dammit.

…why did I have to worry about all this now, again?

“It's all Dings and Rus’ fault,” I grumbled as I added cream to the pan, “They had to go and pick up an orphaned Undyne off the streets, those bleeding idiots.” 

Would I have done the same thing if I were in their place? Without question.
Would I still blame them for my predicament? Absolutely. 

Especially given how Alphys and Undyne were supposed to have that love at first sight thing too, dammit.

I festered in my own thoughts as I continued cooking the two dishes I knew the skeletons adored and wouldn't mind me bringing — French onion soup and freshly baked bread with cherry tomato dip. Papyrus and Wingdings’ sweet tooth absolutely adored the soup while Sans couldn't get enough of the dip and freshly baked bread. 

Though, Wingdings was partial to the bread I baked too, so that was that. 

“Koko?” 

“Yes, my dear?” I hummed back as Alphys stuck her head through the kitchen door, “Anything I can help you with?” 

“N-No, I just wanted to talk,” Alphys shook her head as she entered the kitchen and helped me clean up a bit, my years of teaching showing through her experience, while she talked with me about her day. 

I liked having these quiet moments with Alphys, with nothing but words to fill between us as we worked like two cogs fitted together in the machine. It was mundane, calm and everything I could ever ask for. 

Alphys made a sound of approval when she tasted the soup, her snout twitching in obvious delight, while I chuckled at her adorable behaviour. 

God, I loved her. 
And I loved spending time with my coolest and smartest baby sister.

“I love you, you know that, right?” I suddenly said out loud, making her stutter loudly as she looked at me blushing, “I really, really adore you, my baby sister. And I always will — remember that, alright?” 

“I-I love you too, Koray,” she blushed brighter as she immediately leaned in to hug me, “I, I adore yo-you too! E-Even more than the Gasters!” 

I snorted at her last statement while petting the back of her head, “That sure is a bold claim you're making there!” I joked, laughing harder when Alphy huffed and launched into an age-old rant of how she had the rights first.

“Wingdings and Sans m-may know you longer bu-but I am your sister!” She ranted passionately while washing the dishes, “Living with you, ta-taking care of you is my birthright!”

“And annoying you is my right from your birth,” I added like a ritual, laughing loudly when Alphys smacked my arm with the judgmental look she always reserved for me.

“Yo-You are ridiculous,” she complained good-naturedly as she finally washed off the sink and her hands, “You should hang out with Sans a little less, Koko!” 

“Aww, why?” I teased back as I checked the status of the bread in the oven, “You jealous he'll steal your big sissy away, hm?” 

“Wi-With how he looks at you? M-Maybe,” she muttered loudly enough for me to hear.

“Look? What look?” 

Alphys gave me a look that should've made me feel offended if I wasn't as curious as I was for the answer.

“You know, th-that continuous st-stare without blinking. Th-That one.” 

“What? He always did that! Don't make something out of it just because he likes to stare at everything.” 

Now Alphys really looked at me as if I was a joke, “You know what? Forget about it. Or as Sans would say: forghedaboudit.” 

I snorted at her spot-on mimicry. 
And well, apparently that made Alphys so proud of herself that she continued doing that until we were out of the house.

Unfortunately for both of us, it was Sans who opened the door and greeted us with his usual bone pun, leaving me and Alphys in stitches as we realised how fucking accurate she was about his accent. 

“SANS! STOP CORRUPTING KOKO AND ALPHYS WITH YOUR PUN DISEASE!” 

“Aww, baby bro, look at them, they're hardly even sick of it.” 

“NYEH!” 

“Well, I sure am SICK OF IT, you comedian!” a new voice joined in, making me straighten up immediately as my shoulders still quivered from laughter. 

The girl standing in front of me was nothing like I imagined and yet everything like I expected.

“What?” Undyne looked mildly uncomfortable at my gaze as she looked away, “Got any problem with me, punk?” 

“UNDYNE! DON'T CALL SISTER KOKO NAMES!” 

I ignored their antics as I took the moment of their distraction to observe the blue-skinned monster. 

Undyne was tall, almost as much as Papyrus, in fact, which was almost a head taller than me and Alphys. Her two sharp front teeth peeked in from her lips like bunny teeth but I knew better. It was because of the species of fish she was, which I didn't quite remember the name of but knew was part of an ancient predatory armour fish. 

Funnily enough, it matched with her dusty golden eyes, giving her a much contrasting look — especially with her vibrant red hair, gills and (surprisingly) eyelids. 

“What happened to your left eye, sweetie?” The question came out before I could stop it, “Is it alright? Would you like me to look at it?” 

Undyne immediately quietened down, her good eye avoiding looking into mine, “N-Nah, I'm fine! I ain't a weenie who needs help from people like you!” 

“People like me?” I asked her with a raised eyebrow as Sans took the soup from my hand. If I weren't so focused on Undyne, I would've noticed the swift and intense glare Sans gave the young monster from beside me. 

“I, I, uh,” she stumbled over her words as she almost curled back into herself, her words coming out much softer than before, “I… I meant a healer.” 

“Ah,” I nodded as I gently patted her shoulder, “That makes sense. Though, why do you think healing makes you weak? Who taught you that?” 

Well, didn't that open a can of worms that only snowballed from there. 

As it came to be, Undyne was apparently living alone in Waterfall after her father's demise a few years back. It was old enough for her to be over the grief, but definitely recent enough that she didn't want to divulge any further information about it.

Of course, except that she kinda learned how to fight from him, the same techniques he used back in the War and wanted to become a guardsman under Asgore, a department which was quite a limited and selective one in its recruitment at the moment. 

And, ironically, handled by me as the Royal Advisor too. 

“So, fight me!” Undyne challenged me with the metal spear she somehow brought in from inside, its end all rusty and bent, “Or are you a coward, huh?!” 

“I'll take being a coward over a killer any day, kid,” My reply came darker and sadder than I intended it to be. “Anyway, fighting everyone and anyone you see ain't going to help you join the Royal Guards, dear. You'll need to have the necessary education and practice before you can be presented before the King.” 

“Education?” Undyne looked almost heartbroken as she asked that, “Do I really need that?” 

That question was indicative of a lot of issues and I sure as hell didn't let it pass — not before learning that Undyne had apparently dropped out of school four years ago and had been living all alone on the mere rations her elderly neighbour shared with her until they passed away. 

Well, shit. 

The only solace I had in all this knowledge was that Sans and Wingdings looked just as alarmed as I did and exchanged glances of mutual agreement at once when all three of us were done processing the information.

Yep, Undyne was not going anywhere, and yes, we'll be adopting her into our little disjointed family. 

》:✦:《

“No, we aren't going to meet Asgore for a fight, Undyne,” I sighed as the said girl hopped beside me in excitement, “Don't you dare and go ask for a fight, girl. I'll honestly disown you if you do.” 

“You haven't adopted me yet, grandma,” she rolled her eyes like the rebellious spirit she was, “And I'm outta my stripes anyway! So I can do whatever the hell I want.” 

Well, that was true, at least partially. 
Undyne was 17 years old already — a year older than my sister and three than Papyrus. Though, the way she acted barely showed that: a fact that she repeatedly reinforced for the past few days I came to know her.

She was still as headstrong as her game counterpart, but much more energetic, hyperactive and uncontrollable than I think she should be.

“No, not yet you don't,” Sans piped up, his permanent grin looking tight and sharp, “And talk respectfully to Ray, gotcha?” 

Thank Stars I at least had Sans with me at all times to help handle the little firecracker when things got too insane. 

“Ugh,” Undyne dramatically moaned as she slouched forward, “You both ain't my mom and dad, so stop acting like it! Take your old married couple act somewhere else.” 

I shook my head while Sans rolled his eyelights. 

Yeah, this wasn't the first time she brushed us off like that, and I knew it wouldn't be the last. Though, at least her insults were a little funny, if it weren't at our expense. 

“Keep that up and Papyrus and Alphys would be very disappointed in you, Undyne,” I hummed teasingly, enjoying her twitch at my words, “You wouldn't want to upset them now, would you?” 

That did the trick and made her quiet down as we passed through the busy street.. 

Ironically enough, Undyne's dynamics with Papyrus and Alphys were much different than what I think was in the game. And at the same time, it wasn't. 

The first glaring difference being with Alphys — it wasn't love at first sight. Which I was very glad for, thank Stars. Though, it'll be stupid of me to ignore that something was developing there; something soft, sweet and definitely a very queeromantic thing which was known for its infamous confusion with queerplatonic feelings. 

With Papyrus, on the other hand, Undyne was much more gentle than I expected — though, still handsy enough that they could pass off as siblings. Sans, of course, didn't like that their quarrels turned physical half the time.

Well, so didn't Wingdings, but more because of the aftermath of their squabble than the injuries themselves, since I always came up to heal them. 

Though, Undyne resisted me on that too, until Alphys started accompanying me for the visits. Then it was all fine and dandy and chatty as hell. 

“So, this is where he lives, huh?” Undyne looked up at the palace, her eye scanning it in what sounded like disbelief, “Too big…” 

“Don't worry, Your Majesty thinks the same,” I joked as I entered directly, leading the two after me, “Just don't wander off. It's hard enough to find Your Majesty here. I'd rather not run after you too.” 

“Why, Asgore giving you trouble again?” Sans’ teasing tone made me huff a laugh.

“As if he doesn't always. Do you have any idea how bad his whole record system was? Don't get me started on budgeting and mining rights for gold. I swear, one day I'll tie him down to his seat and make him redo everything himself.” 

Sans laughed while Undyne looked particularly spooked. Though, before she could say anything, some of the council members met us right at the front of the golden hallway. 

“Oh, Koray!” Alden, the royal treasurer who was also a bear monster, immediately called out my name as he rushed towards us, “Thank Stars you are here! Asgore was actually waiting for your arrival.” 

“Mine?” I looked around at the other members, “What happened? Any issues with the records?” I gave Alden a look, “Or did my budget suggestions offend him?” 

“Oh no, absolutely not,” Alden shook his head, his smile betraying the humour he felt, “Angel knows we needed that. Not to mention, I prefer the structure you suggested to the system we had before. Anyway, it's not that. It's the old turtle, Gerson.” 

“Gerson? What's he doing here? Is he alright—?” 

“He's here with his War Hammer!” Eyja, the Royal Steward and another bird monster, chirped, “He was asking for you to get the initiation done today! If you're selected by his Hammer, then you can change your position to the Judge! Or maybe even Royal Guardsmen!” 

I avoided saying anything as I gave them a polite smile, listening to their chattering excitement in silence as I internally refused to be a judge. 

I was not my mother.
The Judge was not my role nor my position, regardless of how much I wanted to change the original plot. That was one role I refused to touch. 

And that was something Asgore knew too — the same reason why he called Gerson for the ‘initiation’. To get it out of the way and define my role once and for all.

…Though, I didn't know it would fall today, out of all days. Just when I brought Sans and Undyne with me to discuss her situation too, huh?

“We greet your Majesty, King Asgore,” I bowed respectfully as I gave the shortened version of the greeting as per his own request, “Would it be a good time for us to enter, your Majesty?” 

“Oh,” Asgore sighed as he signalled for us to enter, “Always so formal, Koray. You don't need to greet or bow to me like that, child.” 

I didn't reply as I didn't get to — the bloody 5-foot hammer (with a… curved end?) in front of us started glowing golden, making everyone in the room flinch with its brightness. 

“Oh.” 

Gerson started cackling before he turned to me, “Buckle up, kid! Looks like we got more than one justice soul in this room! And I ain't talking about my old shell.” 

Ah, so that's how it was going to go. 

Oddly enough, it was quite straightforward yet astonishing at the same time; the Hammer of Justice, Gerson's weapon, was one of the first Monster weapons to be forged with magic. It was made in a way to react to the Justice trait by reflecting the strength of its user's trait. 

With a bit of tinkering, it could also be used as a great tool to identify the justice trait in monsters. 

“Monsters have all seven traits in their soul,” I explained to Undyne when she looked at me confused, “The Hammer of Justice simply amplifies the physical manifestation of those monsters who have justice as one of their main traits.” 

“We can have more than one soul trait?” 

“Yes, but it's rare in monsters,” Asgore answered this time, his eyes following me as I stepped ahead to touch the Hammer, “Humans, on the other hand, develop many as they grow older.” 

The Hammer glowed bright and steady — thankfully not as bright as before though, so that's a good thing. 

“Wait,” I turned to Gerson, “You mean to tell me I have justice too? But I can heal…?” 

“Dual trait,” Asgore looked at me amused as I stared down at my hand in disbelief, “Not a surprise. Your previous actions speak well for your kind justice.” 

“Sounds like an oxymoron to me,” I muttered as Gerson beckoned Undyne to come forward and try too. 

Which she did.
And made the Hammer shine much brighter than I ever did.

“Oh ho,” Gerson grinned at her, “This one's a bright, promising one, I see! How old are you, kid?” 

“I'm not a kid,” was her offhanded reply before a sharp, toothy grin came over her lips, “I'm 17! Almost outta my stripes.” 

“You can join the guardsmen then,” The old turtle suggested immediately with a gleam in his eyes, “That'll suit ya’ more than the Judge, I can tell.” 

“Huh? What's that supposed to mean?!” 

I shook my head with a smile as chaos erupted again, with the expected level of shouting from Undyne and a few challenges of fighting her thrown at both the turtle and goat monster. 

Yeah, should've disowned her while I had the time. 

“You too,” Gerson pointed at Sans, who was standing beside me in silent amusement, “Come on it, Gaster boy. Don't make me call you twice!” 

“Me?” Sans exchanged a look with Asgore, who had an encouraging expression, “I, uh, I'm fine. I ain't got any interest in the council—” 

“Oh, c'mere!” Gerson jumped in and pulled the skeleton in by his arm, making Sans and me yelp in surprise as he was jerked away from his position.

And wouldn't you know it — the Hammer glowed again: brighter and lasting much longer than any of the earlier ones, even after Sans stopped touching it.

“Oh,” was the collective sentiment. 

“I've never seen such a strong reaction from the Hammer.” Asgore looked fascinated as he stared at Sans in wonder, “You have such a strong affinity towards Justice, young Sans. Maybe even more than Gerson—”

“Don't you dare compare me to the rookie here, Fluffybuns,” The said monster huffed before turning to us, “My attacks glowed more at my peak! Though, I gotta admit, you got some very nice recruits for your council this time around.” 

“I don't want—” 

“Don't be ridiculous, of course you do,” Gerson interrupted Sans shamelessly, “With your justice as bright as that, you not being the Judge would be treason, kid.” 

Sans genuinely looked baffled as he looked at me and started saying something before he was interrupted again. 

“You, King! Fight me now if you're not a coward!” 

“Undyne, no—” 

》:✦:《

“Please remind me, why do I have to train again?” 

Sans gave me the most shit eating grin as he handed me the water bottle, “Because you're the Advisor who still somehow doesn't have a developed attack move?” 

I made a face back at him, “Because I don't need to. I have green magic, remember? My attack is shit anyway.” 

“You have justice in you too.” Sans pointed out without missing a beat as Undyne rummaged through something in the background, “Use that.” 

“I don't wanna!” 

“What a weenie!” That brat called out without even looking at us, making me scowl.

“Oh, hush you, Red.” 

“On a serious note, it really is important,” Sans hummed as he looked at the other end of the palace garden, waiting for Asgore as we all were, “I can't believe Aunt Dara let you out without an attack move even after you got outta your stripes.” 

“I don't have any attack power, Sans,” I sighed as I sat down on the ground, “Like, it's literally zero. Don't blame my mother for that.” 

And that was true. 
My ATTACK as a monster was literally zero. 

My DEFENSE, on the other hand, was 37 — very high for someone not formally trained at all but still not unusual for someone with Kindness as one of the main traits. 

“Still,” Sans insisted, his face twisted in a worried frown, “She coulda taught you something with the defense. Make you learn the barriers, something you Kindness traits can do innately.” 

“Why are you so insistent on it, Sans?” I asked him honestly, “Worried a human could've killed me? Like Ailya?” 

His wince somewhat soothed that growing pit in my stomach, “No, fuck, not like that.” 

“Then like what?” 

“I just want you to be safe,” His sigh sounded more tired than he looked. “Ray, not everyone's a good egg. Stop treating the world like you are.” 

“I don't—” 

“You do. It's not a bad thing, no, but it wouldn't fly if we were in a war.” 

“And we're not,” I hissed out, “Yet somehow people keep forgetting that! Preparing for a war that we are going to start, if we keep these antics up.” 

The sound of the gate opening made our conversation fall apart, though quarrel would be a more accurate term to describe it, maybe. 

“Attack moves are not merely for fighting others, Koray,” was the first thing Asgore said as he and Gerson entered the palace gardens, “They are our defense against the humans. Our attempt to keep a distance to avoid any attack they come with.” 

“And that is based on the assumption that humans will always attack us,” I pointed out neutrally, feeling worn out from our age-old disagreement. “Look, I understand that attack moves are like, good defence system for monsters since anything can happen but it's not needed for me. I already have a good DEFENSE stat.” 

“Then why not train it more?” Gerson raised an eyebrow at me, his grin relaxed but cheeky, “Make yourself actually invincible like you believe yourself to be!” 

I frowned at his wording, “I don't—” 

“Oh? You don't? Then you think you're better than other monsters who defend themselves, eh?” 

The heated glare I gave him made him laugh, “Is that what you think of me, Mr. Hammer?” 

“Of course not!” He grinned maniacally, “I'm just trying to see what's working in that little head of yours, Missy. You act like you've seen the war but I know for sure your mother didn't remember much of it either. So, where's your fear coming from, huh?” 

“Gerson—” Asgore started but I interrupted him.

“I'm not afraid,” My voice sounded much calmer than my body language, “I'm cautious. My dislike of violence doesn't translate to my incapability of it. However, unlike all the other monsters in the underground, I understand the consequences of the attacks — the pain, the blood, the death that can accompany it.” I looked him in the eye, “Don't tell me you're not aware of it, despite being in the war. Or are you still looking for more red in your ledger, Mr Hammer?” 

“Koray!” Asgore roared, his maroon eyes bright with anger and… was that horror? 

“Nah, I'm not,” Gerson, on the other hand, looked mildly impressed and a whole lot more interested. “Looks like your justice aligns more with pacifism. Maybe we should train ya with the magic first rather than any moves. You can decide your own moves when you wanna develop them.” 

“Gerson,” Asgore looked remorseful as he continued, “You don't have to if you don't want to.” 

“And leave behind the free entertainment, no way?” He laughed before turning to me again, “You're not wrong, Koray, I'll give you that. But pacifism doesn't mean sacrificing yourself. Martyrs are only good for once, remember that. If you're planning on dying, make it worth it or continue your life fighting the never-ending battle.” 

“No one is dying,” Sans’ grin looked tight as he gave everyone in the garden a look, “Let's not go for the worst, yeah? No one's dead and no one's going to war. We're going to train cause developing our magic harms no one. Just cause we know how to attack doesn't mean we gotta.” 

“Right,” Asgore readily agreed, his eyes looking between me and Gerson with hesitation, “This is just training for a possibility. Isn't that what you say we should do, Koray? Hope for the best and prepare for the worst.” 

I simply nodded, avoiding saying anything further as my throat closed up from the memory of Ailya's bruised body in Waterfall.  

I refused to be like that. 
Especially not when they didn't deserve it or did anything to warrant it.

I had seen enough death in my past life to not want to see anymore in this one — spent enough in its presence that I knew its weight. 

I would rather die than contribute to it.

“I want my weapon to be spears!” Undyne declared loudly as the conversation moved on, “Big, shiny, spears!”

I closed my eyes as I remembered Genocide Route's fight with Undyne. Or rather, how she was supposed to melt with determination in her attempts to protect and defend. 

“I don't want to attack,” I admitted when my turn came, my eyes still concentrated on my hands. “Let me rephrase it, I can't attack. I don't have any stats for that.”

“Then what do you want to do?” 

“Barriers and defence,” I showed them my green glowing magic, “I can heal myself fine too, so my defense will be my offense.” 

“Then it shall be!” Gerson laughed with excitement, “You'll be the most difficult to fight and incite, I see.” 

“I doubt that,” Undyne sneered, “I'll be the hardest to beat! Just you wait! I'll be Undyne the undying!” 

“Sounds gilliant,” Sans’ grin widened as two unimpressed looks were directed his way while the other two laughed, “Any-fin is possible if you put your mind to it, kiddo.” 

“Ugh, stop with your horrendous puns!” 

“How can I, when you give me such an amazing oppor-tuna-ty—”