Archive of Our Own

The call came on a bright Sunday morning when Donghyuck just arrived at his apartment after running an errand at the supermarket nearby. It was truly unexpected and almost felt as if he was dreaming when he received it because he didn’t think that it was possible to happen. He nearly dropped his phone when he saw the name of the old staff from SM Entertainment flashed on the screen. 

Donghyuck immediately knew it must have been something important and just like that, his seemingly perfectly balanced life had once again turned upside down as he stood unmoving in the living room. His face went blank after the phone call had ended and he struggled to comprehend the new reality he’s facing. It took him a while to gain his sense of surrounding back and when he did, he dragged his feet to the couch and plopped down without resistance as if all of his energy had been sucked out of him. He drew in shaky breaths, his chest pounding rapidly as if someone just punched him in the gut.

This couldn’t be happening.

This couldn’t be real.

A reunion concert for NCT Dream after seven years since their official disbandment.

Donghyuck did not expect for this to happen this soon. He never entertained the idea but deep down, he knew it would eventually happen because the members had discussed the possibility of it before the news of their disbandment was announced to the public. NCT Dream decided to disband nearly 18 years after their debut. Their contract had ended and all of them agreed that it was the time to try something new, something they couldn’t do when they were still on the team. They dedicated their childhood and their adolescence to the group wholeheartedly and earnestly and at that time, it only made sense when they decided that it was the right time to taste life and venture out of their comfort zone, see another part of the world and explore the outside world they haven’t gotten chance to see in their youth.  

Each seven of them went on a different path. 

Renjun flew back to Beijing and went back to study art at university to pursue a professional career as a painter. Painting was no longer his escape and it grew in him as something he was passionate about. Chenle also went back to China. His love for music had never died down but his family needed an heir to continue their business and he finally stepped up as he realized that his parents were getting older. Jisung opened his own dance studio where he also gave regular classes to the students. He traveled a few times in a year, going from one country to another, and lived a particularly slow life as he’d always preferred. Meanwhile Jeno and Jaemin decided to get married only a month after their disbandment. It was an intimate wedding, only with close friends and families and the preparation was rather quick because they wanted all the members to be present because they knew that if they took longer than that, the members wouldn’t have made it. Perhaps to outsiders, Jeno and Jaemin’s decision seemed like a sudden, drastic leap. Some were skeptical and viewed it as recklessness but to those who had always understood them, it was only a matter of time. To the members, it was one of the best decisions they had ever made.  

Donghyuck kept in touch with his members or else Na Jaemin would have his precious head. He went to Seoul regularly to visit his family and his members. His last tour ended almost two years ago and he went back to Jeju to rest and take a break from the entertainment world. He initially wanted to take a longer break and he was planning to talk about it with his manager next month during his next visit in Seoul but the reunion concert has successfully ruined his plans. 

Going back to Seoul to meet his other members was not a problem. Going back to Seoul to meet this particular member was the major problem. Donghyuck couldn’t even bring himself to say his name as his throat constricted, suffocating him.  

Closing his eyes tightly, Donghyuck tried to control his breathing. He convinced himself that he would be fine. He was the Lee Donghyuck and there was nothing he couldn’t do. It was just a reunion concert. The staff mentioned that there won’t be any additional promotion until further discussion. So for now, it was safe to say that after it ended, he could come back to Jeju again to continue his mundane life and never see him again. 

It was just a temporary meeting. It won’t change anything. Donghyuck was determined not to let the walls that he’d built up for so long crumble down once he saw him again. He did not go to therapy–as per Renjun’s suggestion–to repeat the same mistake. 

After Donghyuck could finally get a grip of himself, he got up from his seat and went to his room to pack his things with a shuddering breath and trembling heart. 

Two days later, Donghyuck arrived in Seoul around nine in the morning. The city hummed with quiet energy, the air fresh with blooming flowers, the sky a soft pastel blue, the lingering chill faded with the promise of spring. Donghyuck had to force himself to swallow the lump down his throat as he could feel the churn in his chest. The world was moving forward, bright and hopeful, but all he could feel was the cold grip of loss and a storm only he could see and feel. 

Their old manager was assigned to be with them during the reunion concert and he’d told Donghyuck to go straight to their old dorm. For some reason, the company left it empty after the members moved out and re-arranged some rooms once they knew that the Dream was coming. 

Donghyuck liked to believe he had everything under control and he kept convincing himself the only reason he grew restless as he approached the dorm was because it had been a while since he’d last been there. But deep down, he knew better. He knew his members could read him like the back of their hands. And he knew that Jaemin and Renjun, of all people, wouldn’t hesitate to open their big mouths and call out exactly what he was trying so hard to ignore. 

He hadn’t read the group chat, telling himself he was simply too busy packing to check it. He had deliberately brushed off his therapist’s advice about avoiding conflict and instead, he chose to go on with his day as if nothing had happened. As if pretending hard enough would make his fear go away. He knew it was stupid. Jaemin and Renjun would soon vouch for him, even without him saying the word. But people always told him to put himself first, to be kinder to himself and that’s exactly what he was doing. 

What he did was self-care. This was him being kind and considerate of his own well-being. 

The lie tasted as bad as Jisung’s cooking but Donghyuck wasn’t ready to think too hard about it just yet.

When the car finally pulled into the familiar driveway, Donghyuck took a moment to steady himself before stepping out. His feet felt heavier than usual as he made his way inside the building, choosing the stairs over the elevator. At this point, he would do anything to buy himself a little more time. 

When he finally stood in front of the door, he exhaled slowly and counted to ten before knocking. The response was immediate. Within seconds, he heard rustling from inside, as if someone had been waiting for him all along.

A moment later, Jaemin appeared in front of him, as lively as ever with his signature broad smile stretching across his face. His eyes, warm and bright with excitement, crinkled at the corners, and his presence never failed to radiate an energy that instantly filled the space around them. People used to say that Jaemin was too much and that his boundless energy was overwhelming and impossible to handle. But Donghyuck had always believed otherwise. Jaemin wasn’t meant for just anyone. He was meant for those with hearts big enough to embrace his endless affection, his unwavering care, and the way he loved without limits.

Dressed in a simple hoodie and sweatpants, he looked effortlessly at ease, as if he had been waiting for this very moment. The second his gaze landed on Donghyuck, he lunged forward, wrapping him in an almost bone-crushing hug.

Donghyuck let out a playful scoff but hugged him back just as tightly. It wasn’t until his body started trembling slightly that he realized how unsteady his breathing had become.

“Lee Haechan! Oh my god!”

Jaemin’s voice was high-pitched with glee as he swung their bodies from side to side. Donghyuck made a half-hearted attempt to wriggle out of his grip but the warmth of Jaemin’s embrace and the familiarity of his presence washed over him, filling him with an unexpected sense of relief. 

“You made it!” Jaemin leaned in, aiming to plant a playful smooch on Donghyuck’s cheek but the latter expertly dodged it, pulling away with practiced ease. “I thought you wouldn’t have enough guts to come here.” 

Donghyuck genuinely wanted to strangle Jaemin, right here and right now. 

“What a warm welcome,” Donghyuck responded dryly, fixing his best friend with a deadpan stare. Jaemin’s grin stretched wider, mischief glinting in his eyes. 

“You should be thankful that I even made the effort to welcome you like this. Try showing a little gratitude, will you?” 

Donghyuck scoffed. Jaemin let out a dramatic gasp. 

“Ungrateful!” he huffed, though there was no real heat in it. “Anyway, he’s not here yet.” 

“Shut the fuck up, Na Jaemin.” 

“Ah!” Jaemin bounced on his feet, his face glowing with pure joy as he shamelessly clapped. “There you are. Gloomy face does not suit you. Also, it’s Lee Jaemin, you dipshit.”

A beat passed before Donghyuck realized that Jaemin had acted that way to ease the tension. Na Jaemin or Lee Jaemin as the latter have stated did not change the slightest. His knack for reading others was as strong as always. Donghyuck would never admit it but having someone steady, unchanged, and familiar in the chaos of his world was truly comforting.

“Whatever,” Donghyuck let out an exaggerated sigh, rolling his eyes. “Move. You’re blocking my way. I’ve got things to unpack.” 

“Say please.” 

“Say please.” 

“You’re annoying.”

“You’re a menace.” 

Donghyuck shoved his way into the dorm, deliberately knocking his shoulder into Jaemin and sending him stumbling back.

Jaemin let out a surprised shriek, his high-pitched voice echoing through the room. 

“Lee Haechan, you absolute jerk”  

The laughter bubbled out of Donghyuck before he could stop it and the sound shocked him. For the first time in what felt like forever, it didn’t sound hollow. It was genuine, so effortlessly him that he almost didn’t believe it was his own. It sounded so light and so young that for a brief moment, he felt like he was fourteen again; unshaken, brave, and bold. 

Donghyuck cleared his throat, a weak attempt to mask his emotions, and ignored Jaemin’s gaze searing into the back of his head. He didn’t need to turn around to know his best friend was smiling. 

As he stepped into the living room, a wave of nostalgia instantly hit him and the first thing he noticed was how much bigger and more open the dorm felt compared to their old setup. It was a duplex apartment. It was big with five rooms, a kitchen, a living room, and six bathrooms. 

Donghyuck let out a deep breath, steadying himself. 

“Oh, wow. I didn’t think you would be the first one to arrive.” 

Lee Jeno walked out of the kitchen in all his glory, looking like he had just stepped straight out of a romance manhwa, carrying his sleeping five-year-old son, Lee Yushi, in his arms. He was clad in a plain, wrinkled white shirt stained with milk and a pair of black sweatpants. His hair was a tousled mess and his eyes heavy with sleep. It was the perfect image of exhaustion that for some people might paint him as just another father with an ordinary job, living a monotonous, dull life. But to Donghyuck, no matter how many times he witnessed it, the sight never failed to send a wave of warmth through his chest. Looking at Jaemin and Jeno with their son felt like witnessing something sacred. Yushi was the tangible proof of their love and unwavering commitment.

Jeno and Jaemin were the first among them to get married, the first to have a child. And now, they were living the life they had always dreamed of. 

Jaemin appeared a moment later and gently took Yushi into his arms. His entire demeanor completely shifted. All of sudden, gone was the boundless energy, replaced by a softness that only surfaced when he was with his son. He moved with careful precision, cradling Yushi like he was the most precious thing in the world. 

The way he looked at Jeno and Yushi made something inside Donghyuck twitch. Jaemin looked like he would hand the world over just for his family. He was a fighter—a strong and fierce one. If you ever hurt his loved ones, he would never hesitate to burn down the whole world for them. 

Sometimes, Donghyuck wondered how it felt to have a life like that. 

“I will take Yushi to our room. You two can talk first.” 

Jeno nodded before leaning down to cradle Jaemin’s face, his touch impossibly gentle, as if Jaemin might shatter under too much pressure. He pressed a soft kiss to his forehead, then turned to Yushi, placing another tender kiss on his son.

Seeing the three of them this close, Donghyuck could easily spot the resemblance. Yushi was the perfect blend of both his parents. His fair skin, nose, and lips mirrored Jeno’s, while his jawline and eyes were evidently Jaemin’s. Yushi was a bundle of joy—sweet, lovable, and effortlessly charming. He had a way of stealing hearts and everyone who met him couldn’t help but dote on him. 

“Can I kiss Yushi first?” 

Jaemin walked over to Donghyuck and the latter instinctively leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of Yushi’s head. 

“Sleep well, little one,” he murmured, his voice soft with fondness. 

“Mark hyung will arrive late.” 

And just like that, Jeno dropped the bomb casually. His expression was neutral and flat as if what he had just said was the most ordinary thing in the world. He completely ignored the way Donghyuck visibly flinched at the mention of his name and the way he said it nonchalantly made Donghyuck want nothing but to smack him. 

“I know you didn’t check the group chat so I’m telling you now.” 

“Lee Jeno, you…” Donghyuck stopped, at a loss of words. His face turned red, his breath coming a little bit haggard. 

“Shut the fuck up,” Donghyuck hissed through gritted teeth, glaring at him. 

Jeno’s facial expression didn’t waver. 

“You’re welcome.” 

Donghyuck didn’t even bother hiding his annoyance, rolling his eyes with a huff. 

“Whatever.” 

Jeno easily blocked his path, towering over him. It wasn’t until Donghyuck had to tilt his head back to meet his eyes that he realized that Jeno could be this tall. Jeno stared at him with an unreadable expression but his eyes spoke volumes. After nearly three decades of friendship, they never needed long conversations because this was how they communicated. 

Always straight to the point. 

“Don’t go into captain mode on me, Lee Jeno,” Donghyuck warned, holding his gaze firm so Jeno would know he meant it. “Save it for tomorrow when everyone’s here.”

Jeno tsked loudly, clearly unimpressed. 

They held each other’s gaze for a few moments before Donghyuck finally let out a defeated sigh. 

“Alright, fine,” he straightened his back in surrender, fully aware that there was no escaping this. Not when Jeno was being dead serious. “I consulted with your husband. We talked. Renjun joined our call too. I promised them that I would tell them if I couldn’t take it.” 

“You need to promise that you’ll tell yourself when you can’t take it.” 

Jeno punctuated each word with a fixed gaze and firm tone. Donghyuck held back a groan. 

This was the difference between Dream and 127. In 127, no matter how much time had passed, Donghyuck would always be the youngest. His older brothers coddled him and their approach had always been soft, gentle, and never pressed further than necessary. 

In Dream, they were equals. Their voices carried the same weight and their arguments were open battlegrounds. When they fought, it was real and raw. They were relentless with each other. No one backed down until the winner emerged. Their approach was harsh, direct, yet at the same time, it was brutally honest. But the intensity of their fights matched the depth of their love.

That was how they stayed close-knit. That was how they stayed balanced.

“I promise,” Donghyuck finally said after a long beat of silence. Jeno held his gaze for a moment, assessing before nodding in approval.

“Alright.” 

Donghyuck deliberately inhaled loudly. 

“Can I go upstairs now?” 

The members have agreed to discuss room arrangement tomorrow so today whoever arrives first got to pick any room.

Jeno stepped aside to give him a way. 

“I will call you when the food is ready.” 

Later that night, after tucking himself to bed, Donghyuck lay on his back and blinked at the ceiling with a blank expression. He became uneasy as his mind wandered and he couldn't sleep thinking about tomorrow. He still didn’t know what he would do when he saw him again. Running away was no longer an option. Sooner or later, he had to face him. There was no changing that. 

Donghyuck could feel that something was coming. Instinctively, he put his hand over his heart as if he could keep its content from spilling out.

That night, he fell asleep with a heavy heart and an image of a certain Canadian boy hunted him down in his dream.

The first time Donghyuck woke up, it was just after dawn. He could hear muffled voices outside, followed by the clang of pots and pans. Jaemin was probably in the kitchen, busy with breakfast. Feeling cold and still tired, he pulled the blanket up to his chin and tried to go back to sleep again.

The second time Donghyuck woke up, it was to someone yelling—a familiar high-pitched voice he hadn’t heard in almost a year. Before he could even process it, his door flew open with a loud bang. 

A very jumpy and overjoyed Zhong Chenle appeared, practically launching himself at Donghyuck, knocking the breath out of him.

“Haechan hyung, my baby, I missed you so much!” 

Donghyuck’s arms opened instinctively, catching Chenle just in time as the latter crashed into him. Chenle let out his signature giggle, loud and cheerful, as he wrapped his arms tightly around Donghyuck, burying his face into the crook of his neck. 

Donghyuck barely had time to register the warmth, the weight, the sheer energy that Chenle carried with him before he sighed, half-exasperated, half-fond.

“You’re sooooo warm and I like it!”

Donghyuck held the back of Chenle’s head and tightened his arms around him. After their disbandment, he could only meet Renjun and Chenle a few times due to the distance and unmatched schedules. He inhaled his smell and it hit him just how much he missed him. He could feel his eyes welled up with fresh tears as he placed a small kiss on top of his head, relishing in the feeling of having him in his arms again. 

Back in the day, when they were feeling down or things were too hard to carry alone, they sometimes would spend the nights hugging each other without saying anything. Donghyuck tried to get rid of the image of another person in his mind, of their moments together, and he could feel his chest constricted as he tried to suppress the unwanted nostalgic feelings that threatened to drown him. 

“Hyung, I missed you.” 

Donghyuck leaned down to kiss his forehead. 

“I missed you too. You’re no longer a boy now.” 

“Nonsense!” Chenle squeezed him. “I will always be your boy, Mama.” 

At that, Donghyuck’s motherly instinct instantly kicked in. With Chenle, it had always been second nature; holding, comforting, protecting.

At that moment, Donghyuck realized that he could easily conceal his emotions around the others but it was different with Chenle. This boy used to and still called him ‘ Mama ’ to get away with things and somehow he would always let him. There had always been something gentle between them, a tenderness he never had to question. 

Chenle was incredibly perceptive. He had a way of reading between the lines, picking up on emotions that others missed. He wouldn’t always call it out directly but he’d let you know in the way he lingered a little longer, the way his teasing softened when he knew you weren’t okay. The weight of Chenle in his arms suddenly felt heavier, pressing down on something raw inside him. Donghyuck swallowed hard, his throat tightening as bile threatened to rise. He blinked rapidly, staring at the ceiling. 

The way Chenle treated him mirrored the way a certain someone used to treat him. 

People could come and go. 

World could turn upside down. 

The one he loved with his whole being could suddenly change and leave him.

He would take it all. He could take it. 

But not for this little one. He had to keep this boy who had grown into a man by his side. For the love he had for him and for his own sanity. 

“Please don’t change. Please always be like this.” 

“You will always have me, Mama.” Chenle whispered and Donghyuck knew that his words meant more than that. 

“Always?” 

“Always.” 

For a moment, they wrapped their arms around each other, feeling the weight of years between them. 

It was until a soft, deep voice broke the moment. 

“Uh, I didn’t mean to interrupt,” Park Jisung said, his tone still carrying that familiar trace of timidness he had never quite outgrown. “Renjun hyung said that if you two don’t go down in less than ten minutes, he’s coming up here.” 

Jisung just visited Donghyuck in Jeju last month so they didn’t need formal greetings. As Donghyuck looked at him casually leaning against the wall with his hands tucked into his pocket, he marveled at the knowledge that Jisung wasn’t as loud or chaotic as the others, but his presence was steady, like an anchor that kept them grounded. 

Jisung didn’t look at him as if he needed help. He didn’t talk to him as if he would break if he knew more than he should. He didn’t treat him as if he would crumble down just with a single touch. There was no pity in Jisung’s eyes, no careful tiptoeing around the subject of the return of a certain someone. Just quiet understanding, steady presence, and a deep trust that Donghyuck was still the same person he had always been; strong, stubborn, and capable of standing tall no matter what storms came his way.

In that moment, it struck Donghyuck with how much Jisung was confident in him. Even after the latter had witnessed him at his lowest where he could barely hold himself together, he still thought that he was one of the strongest people he knew and never once did he underestimate him. 

It was comforting in a way he hadn’t realized he needed and for that, Donghyuck was grateful. 

“You two coming or not?” Jisung finally asked, raising an eyebrow. 

Chenle groaned dramatically, still clinging to Donghyuck like a koala. 

“Do we have to? I was enjoying our reunion. You ruined the moment, Park Jisung.”

Jisung let out a small chuckle, pushing himself off the doorway. 

“Unless you want Renjun hyung storming in here and dragging you both downstairs, yeah, you have to.”

Donghyuck huffed, shaking his head with a fond smile. 

“Yeah, yeah, we’re coming.”

Huang Renjun was waiting at the bottom of the stairs with hands on his hips, his foot tapping the floor impatiently. The first thing Donghyuck noticed was that his once strikingly blonde hair had now turned into a perfect jet black. His face had a perfectly sculpted V-shape, his sharp eyes still held the same intensity, and his frame appeared leaner than the last time they met. He looked exactly like he had in their early twenties. 

As Donghyuck walked over to him, he noticed not just how sharp his eyes were, but also how they burned with a newfound fire, brighter than ever before. A wave of relief washed over him, knowing just how much his best friend had struggled in the past. 

Huang Renjun looked like someone who had been destined to be reborn and ready to live a more fulfilling and meaningful life. He seemed like a man who had conquered his demons and emerged as the best version of himself. Better than he’s ever been in the last ten years. 

Renjun looked at him with a look that screamed Donghyuck as nothing less than a menace to the society. The familiar stare was so deliberating that instead of feeling annoyed, a grin spread across Donghyuck’s face, his eyes twinkling with playfulness.

“Are you Queen Elizabeth? Why on earth should we wait for you just to have breakfast?” 

Donghyuck didn’t even try to stop himself now. Laughter burst from his lips, echoing through the room and bouncing off the walls. It was unrestrained, sincere, and almost childlike. 

Undoubtedly, it was him. And he let it out as if it were the most natural thing in the world. 

The thing was, despite the misadventure of the past few years, life hadn’t completely defeated him. Some days it was easier to look away and pretend nothing happened so life seemed to go on without a hitch. Other days he had to acknowledge that losing someone important in his life was devastating but it didn’t necessarily mean that life wasn’t worth living. 

Donghyuck still loved life with his whole heart. No matter how broken, crushed, and incomplete it was. 

“Huang Renjun!” 

Donghyuck jumped right into his arms and Renjun caught him just in time. He promptly screamed in his ears as a payback, unleashing his favorite Chinese curses in perfect tone and facial expression. Donghyuck laughed harder, partly because he understood every word perfectly and partly because he hadn’t felt this free, this light, in a long time.

It felt so much like coming back home that he chose to ignore the way Chenle and Jisung froze in their tracks the moment they heard him laugh. From the corner of his eye, he caught Jaemin and Jeno poking their heads out from the kitchen, making no effort to hide their curiosity.

They were truly something else. 

“Stop yelling! Yushi is still sleeping. You will wake him up.”

“ You will wake him up with how loud your voice is.” 

Donghyuck retorted, utterly satisfied to see the way Renjun’s face turned red, his irritation practically radiating off him.

“Lee Haechan, you–” 

“Can you two call it quit? You are not Queen Elizabeth and Princess Diana. Why should we wait for you two to have breakfast?” 

“Na Jaemin, you little shit!” 

“I told you that you should’ve gone upstairs and smack his flat ass to wake him up so we didn’t need to wait like this!” 

“How many times do I have to tell you that it’s Lee Jaemin now, you little minx! Say it correctly!” 

“If you stop being annoying I will start addressing you properly.” 

“Oh my god, you guys are supposed to be grown ups. How come you still fight like a kid?” 

“Hyung, you already have Yushi too.” 

“Shut it, Park Jisung. One more word and I will never cook for you again.” 

“HEY! That’s not fair!” 

“Park Jisung, you do not raise your voice at my husband like that.” 

“Ugh, can you two stop being gross for a second? It’s still too early and I’ve had enough.” 

A lot of things happened simultaneously after that. 

Donghyuck were bickering with Renjun and Jaemin, while Chenle and Jisung eagerly joined. Jeno quietly listened, occasionally tossing in snarky remarks. The room was buzzing with lively energy as they slipped into their usual banter naturally.

Then, the front door pushed open, and a startled silence settled over the room. 

Donghyuck turned, his breath hitching as his bright, carefree smile vanished in an instant. The happiness he felt was replaced with a wave of dread and anxiety, his heart wavering between fear and abrupt longing. Even after seven years, Donghyuck would recognize that back everywhere. 

He was there, his back facing him. 

Donghyuck had a sudden urge to turn around and run away but then the latter turned around and their eyes locked again for the first time after seven years.

Mark Lee was standing several feet away from him, unmoving as well. Donghyuck noticed how his head jerked slightly, like something had brushed his ear, like he didn’t expect to see him at all. With his shirt tucked loosely into ripped jeans, he could see the same broad shoulders he remembered, tapering down to narrow hips and a flat stomach. He was even taller now and his skin was fairer than he remembered. It was obvious that he just arrived. But above all, he looked just the same and something deep inside Donghyuck twisted painfully.

Donghyuck stared at Mark. 

Mark stared back at Donghyuck.

The air between them felt heavy, thick with unspoken words and years of distance. 

There was a safe space between them but it still managed to make Donghyuck feel suffocated with the proximity. He wanted to move, to say something, but he couldn’t. All he could do was staring at him, brain short circuited and breaths ragged. He stood frozen, his gut knotting. A heavy sense of dread had his heart racing and cold sweat started to coat his skin.

After what seemed like forever, Donghyuck did not expect Mark to speak first. 

“ Donghyuck .”

Donghyuck’s throat instantly closed. The way he said his name felt so foreign as if it was the very first time he said that. But what hurt the most was the quiet reminder that no one else called him that anymore. Only him.

Donghyuck had prepared himself for everything but despite that, he still had to force a small smile, out of casual formality and one that didn’t reach his eyes.

“Mark.” he said back but it came out as a choked whisper.

Mark swallowed thickly, his adam apple bobbing up and down. He looked as if he wanted to say more but held back, pressing his lips together. Donghyuck watched as he pushed the hair back from his eyes, a gesture he knew so well and for a moment he saw a young boy that he was and remembered the day he first met him at the practice room over twenty years ago. 

The years they spent together flashed through his mind—their trainee days, the years as babies Shinki, the years as 127 and Dream member, the years as lovers, and then the years they had spent apart. 

Everything was colliding, past and present. Suddenly it was just too much for Donghyuck to take and he quickly looked away, a new sob rising in his throat.

“I...” he said, voice wobbling slightly. “I have to go to the bathroom.”

Donghyuck caught the worried looks from his members and Chenle looked as if he wanted to reach out. But before anyone could do anything, Donghyuck turned away first, knowing that if he stayed a second longer, he would break. He could feel Mark’s heavy gaze on his back but he ignored it and quickly went to his room and locked the door behind it. Slumping against it, he squeezed his eyes shut, swallowing hard as he fought back the tears.

Everything was coming back to him in full force. Their first encounter after seven years made Donghyuck realize that Mark still had the same effect on him. The way his presence alone could unravel him, how just hearing his voice sent a tremor through his chest. The emotions he had spent years burying threatened to rise to the surface; longing, resentment, nostalgia, and something deeper, something he wasn’t ready to name. No matter how much he had convinced himself that he had moved on, that he had outgrown the pain, standing in front of Mark again proved otherwise.

Donghyuck hated how he had reacted. Hated how weak he appeared. He needed to toughen up because he was going to spend time with him for the next few months and this was only the beginning.

For now, Donghyuck needed to clear his mind before facing the reality. He couldn’t afford to lose himself again. Not when he had spent years putting the pieces back together. 

Jaemin: lee haechan, permission to invade your personal space and please say yes because yushi is going to school in 30 minutes and it's my turn to drive him to school. i cannot possibly leave this house unless you let me check on you first and make sure that you’re not going to jump off out the windows 

Renjun: i’m already outside. open the door now

Renjun: please

Jaemin: oh, we’re using this approach? I thought you said we should be gentle 

Renjun : yeah and then i remember that it usually doesn’t work with haechan so here we go 

Jaemin: you’re right 

Jaemin : lee haechan, either you let us handle this or jeno will be the one who knocks on your door

Donghyuck: fuck off

Jaemin: well duh not a chance princess

Renjun: over my dead body 

Donghyuck: UGH FINE 

That was how Donghyuck found himself sitting on the edge of the bed with Jaemin and Renjun standing in front of him, looking like the typical Asian mom who’s going to interrogate their daughter who just experienced heartbreak for the first time. They tried to play it cool but they were not Donghyuck’s mom and he could read his best friends just as well as they did. 

Donghyuck let out a sigh, his shoulders dropping. He knew that the members were perfectly aware that at some points, things would be awkward between him and Mark. How could they not be? They knew the couple had ended things right after their disbandment. None of them believed it at first because they have been together longer than they were with anyone. 

It was so abrupt. So unexpected that Jeno almost called for a group meeting just to check on them but decided against it because it was too personal to be discussed openly. They also knew it didn’t end well even though they didn’t know why it was like that. Donghyuck couldn’t bring himself to explain as he was still struggling to understand it himself. Even now, after all these years, he still felt like Mark owed him a proper explanation.

The first few months after the break-up, Jaemin and Renjun tried to get him to talk. They prodded gently, hoping he would open up. It wasn’t until they witnessed just how broken Donghyuck was that they decided that it was more important to prioritize his well-being than their curiosity. They concluded that Donghyuck and Mark were mature enough to decide what’s best for their own lives. 

Some things, no matter how much they wanted to help, weren’t theirs to fix.

Donghyuck let out another sigh, louder this time, impatient. 

“I thought you’re going to send Yushi to school soon? Why aren’t you talking then?” 

“Shut up,” Jaemin’s face contorted, his eyebrows drawing together in concern. “I’m trying to find the right words.” 

Donghyuck’s face turned blank, dumbfounded. 

Then, he unexpectedly burst out into a laughter, startling the other two. 

“Why are you laughing?” Renjun squawked. “We’re trying, okay?”

Donghyuck rolled his eyes, unimpressed. 

“Being polite and careful does not suit you. Just ask the damn questions and leave me alone.” 

Jaemin placed his hands on his hips, scowling hard. Meanwhile Renjun looked torn between strangling him or hurling him out the window.

“Okay, fine,” Jaemin started. “Try not to kill each other. That’s the first.” 

“At least not until the comeback is done,” Renjun added smoothly. “After that, I’ll pretend I didn’t see anything.” 

Donghyuck let out a snort, sighing in irritation. 

“Seriously? We’re not five.” 

Renjun and Jaemin exchanged a glance before turning to him, their eyebrows arching in silent question.

Donghyuck exhaled sharply, frustration evident.

“I’m not going to kill him, okay? I will be civil,” a brief pause, and Donghyuck slowly mumbled. “I will try to be civil. No promises, though.” 

“That’s better,” Jaemin nodded in relief. “That’s more like you.” 

“Fantastic,” Donghyuck deadpanned. “Now please go be annoying somewhere else.” 

“You haven’t moved on.” 

“You still love him.”

“ What the actual fuck ?”

The statement was so sudden that it caught Donghyuck off guard. He instantly stiffened, completely unprepared. Jaemin and Renjun looked at him dead in the eyes with their unwavering and unrelenting look.

Donghyuck scowled back at them, hissing, but didn’t utter a single word. He neither confirmed nor denied it, yet his silence spoke volumes to his best friends.

“Oh, sweetheart,” 

Jaemin’s face softened into a quiet understanding, one that didn’t make Donghyuck feel small or pitied for being honest. Donghyuck looked away, swallowing hard. It was something he learned after finally gathering the courage to go to therapy. In the first few years after his separation with Mark, he was full of resentment and unable to see things from any perspective but his own. He didn’t want to deal with his feelings and never once sat down to have a real conversation with himself. Never asking the most important questions.

Grief found him, unexpectedly and deeply staggering, on one bright Friday morning when he was about to head out to the nearby bakery to get his favorite sourdough. He was about to leave when his eyes landed on a little boy who’s walking past him, chatting animatedly with his mother as he munched on a half-eaten watermelon. 

Something about the scene pierced through his carefully built bubble, rattling him in a way he hadn’t expected.

Donghyuck halted his steps as his breath stuttered, his chest heaving. Pressing both hands against it, he hastily turned around, knowing that he no longer could keep its contents from spilling out. He ended up having a full-blown breakdown the moment he stepped back into his house—crying, hollering, bawling, screaming. Every emotion he had suppressed for years came pouring out in an unstoppable flood. 

It was only an hour later when the storm had finally settled and he regained his composure that he finally had the courage to ask for professional help. Many appointments later,  Donghyuck had finally moved past his phase of denial but as he still couldn’t express his feelings properly, he’d learned not to answer questions he wasn’t certain of to help him distinguish reality from the tangled mess of his thoughts, helping him to stay grounded.

“It’s okay. We can get ice cream after this. No diet for this comeback.”

Donghyuck huffed. “I don’t need ice cream. I need alcohol.” 

This time, Renjun actually reached out to smack the back of his head for real. Donghyuck recoiled with a yelp, looking betrayed.

“What the hell was that for?” 

Renjun glowered. 

“Have you seriously not learned? Alcohol doesn’t fix feelings. It amplifies the stupid.”

“I’m not heartbroken, you ass!” 

“You literally just admitted that you haven’t moved on and that you still love him.” 

“I didn’t say any of those things!” 

Jaemin sighed like a parent dealing with toddlers.

“Keep yelling at each other like that so the others can hear and eventually Mark hyung will be coming here too.” 

That shut Donghyuck up real fast.  

“We’re not picking sides,” Renjun exhaled as if he was the one who had it harder than Donghyuck. “I know you’ve both been hurting. You’re miserable and Mark hyung looks like a ghost. You don’t smile the way you used to and Mark hyung didn’t even laugh at Jisung’s dumb joke. That says everything.” 

For a moment, Donghyuck was stunned. Back then, his fights with Mark were never really their own fights. In a way, they had taken on the role of parents within the group and when they had problems, no matter how hard they tried to keep them private, eventually the other members would be able to sense the tension between them. And now, with this comeback, Donghyuck realized that it had put them in a very difficult situation where they had to walk on thin ice around them, even though it was never his intention. The reason why he did this was for the team. They wanted to do it and he wanted what they wanted. 

Donghyuck opened his mouth as if about to say something but Jaemin already held out his finger in a warning way. 

“No, none of that bullshit,” he declared, knowing exactly what was on Donghyuck’s mind. “We agreed this wouldn’t turn into some dramatic mess.” 

“Besides, Mark hyung gave us a whole pep talk after you left.” 

Donghyuck raised his eyebrows, looking back and forth between Jaemin and Renjun suspiciously. 

“What did he say?” 

Renjun shrugged, playing it cool. 

“He basically told us to back off and let you do anything you want. He said to give you space.” 

Donghyuck let out a dry laugh.

“So you’re telling me you’ll just sit back and watch while Mark and I go for each other’s throats?” 

Jaemin and Renjun responded in unison. “Yes.”

Donghyuck gave them an incredulous look. Jaemin made a show of rolling his eyes, even adding a little sigh for effect. 

“Please. This isn’t new. We’ve been through this before. Think back to how intense your fights with Mark hyung were during our early debut days. It got so bad that Chenle didn’t even want to sleep in the same room as either of you.” 

“So in conclusion, we can handle it.” 

Before Donghyuck could say something in return, Jaemin clapped his hands as if signaling that the time was over. 

“Okay, timeout. I’ve got to take Yushi to school,” Jaemin patted Donghyuck’s head two times, grinning from ear to ear. “Good job behaving for once” 

Donghyuck hissed, grabbing the first pillow he could reach and hurling it at Jaemin, who dodged the attack smoothly as if he could predict his move and bolted out of the room, leaving the door open with a triumphant laugh.

Renjun shook his head, letting out a long, exasperated sigh.

“Don’t skip your breakfast,” Renjun reminded as he walked to the door. Before he left, he turned around once more and added, “On a serious note. If things get out of hand, before the manager steps in, you and Mark hyung will have to deal with Jeno first. So, yeah. Good luck with that.” 

Groaning, Donghyuck flopped onto his back, staring at the ceiling as he began questioning all of his life decisions.

When Donghyuck walked into the kitchen, he wasn’t surprised to find Mark was the only one on the table. He noticed the way Mark’s ears subtly perked up like he always knew when it was Donghyuck. But he didn’t look up right away and Donghyuck wasn’t sure whether to be impressed or to cry, knowing that Mark had never gotten rid of that one old habit. It was almost as if he had his own signal to locate Donghyuck and to sense his presence even before he saw him. Back then, he had joked that it was like Spider-Man’s tingles and only activated exclusively for Donghyuck.

Donghyuck swallowed, squashing down the sudden wave of misery and grief that came with remembering the past. He finally checked the group chat. He ignored hundreds of old chats and went straight to the newest ones so he knew that Jaemin was driving Yushi to the school and would do the grocery shopping right after that. Jeno was in the gym and Renjun had announced he’d be sleeping for the next few hours, threatening anyone who dared to disturb him. Meanwhile, Chenle and Jisung were watching the latest NBA re-run in the living room, their figures could be spotted from where he stood. 

Donghyuck caught Mark stealing discreet glances at him, his face flushing when their eyes met. It had been a long time since he’d seen that familiar awkwardness. Unexpectedly, that sent a thrill through Donghyuck. A sense of power washed over him and suddenly he was fourteen again, cocky and overbearing, and his one goal was to get under Mark’s skin. 

And the best part of it all, he always had the upper hand.

That was all the encouragement he needed to boldly plop down right across Mark Lee who promptly choked on his breakfast, fumbling blindly for a glass of water. Donghyuck rolled his eyes at his clumsiness. 

Typical Mark Lee. 

“Do I look like a ghost or are you just that jumpy?” 

“No, I was just surprised,” Mark said after a brief pause. Despite the obvious awkwardness, his voice remained steady and calm. He still avoided Donghyuck’s gaze and that drove Donghyuck mad.

“Relax, Mark,” he drawled, testing the name on his own tongue and wasn’t surprised to find that it was still the same—bitter and laced with resentment. “I’m not a ghost. Unless you’re feeling guilty about something.”

That made Mark look up, finally meeting Donghyuck’s gaze. For a moment, silence stretched between them, thick and heavy with tension. There was a knowing look on Mark’s face, as if he understood exactly what Donghyuck was trying to do and as always he was willing to play along.

Donghyuck glared at him openly, not appreciating the sentiment. Mark inhaled, gathering the courage to speak but Donghyuck spoke first, unwilling to let him take control of the moment.

“There is no need for casual formality between us,” Donghyuck said flatly, his tone laced with hostility, making sure Mark felt every ounce of resentment behind the words. “You have no right to ask me anything. Not after everything I went through because of you. I know we can be professional, so let’s make sure it stays that way until the end.”

“Am I not even allowed to ask how you are?”

Donghyuck’s nostrils flared, his anger surging and he didn’t try to stop it. He didn’t want to conceal anything. Stepping back into this territory felt a lot like going to war. This was war—his war, their war. Donghyuck didn’t care. He only cared to show Mark how much he despised him and being in the same room as him. 

Seeing his face felt like a slap, a sharp reminder of everything he’d buried. Donghyuck wanted Mark to feel it too. He needed him to know that no apology, no shame, no regret would ever be enough.

“You lost the privilege the moment you stepped out of my life.” he spat; harsh, hurtful, and merciless. And he knew they struck deep, straight into Mark’s heart, as his face twisted in pain.

Donghyuck didn’t look away, uncompromising and resolute. Mark didn’t get to ask anything about him. He didn’t get to try to walk back into his life after leaving without looking back. Mark never returned to Seoul again after he flew back to the States. He never came to the group’s regular meet-ups even though Donghyuck knew that Mark visited the members separately. How the company even managed to convince him to join the reunion concert was beyond Donghyuck.

They never talked again after their break up. What was there to talk about? Too many, too much, and none of it seemed to matter anymore. 

Mark had built a successful solo career, producing his own albums and winning multiple awards just like how he’d always dreamed of. No matter how hard Donghyuck tried, he couldn’t escape him. Mark’s name was everywhere, popping up in headlines, in music charts, in conversations he wished he wasn’t part of. And every time, it stung to see him thriving, smiling, and living without him. 

Then, one day, Mark announced his hiatus. And just like that, he disappeared.

It had been three years and not that Donghyuck was counting. He just had a good memory. No releases, no updates, and just dead silence. A part of him wanted to ask why. Mark had never gone this long without music but that wasn’t his place to ask anymore. They had gone their separate ways and Donghyuck wanted nothing to do with him now.

Or at least, that’s what he told himself.

But this was the reality. 

Mark had moved on and Donghyuck had learnt how to let go. 

Since they were going to start as a group again, Donghyuck had decided that he would try to be civil and treated him like a mere acquaintance. It was impossible for him to act as if nothing happened between them because those years they’ve spent together were something he treasured the most, no matter how badly things ended between them. Their unbalanced dynamic could affect the group and it was the last thing he wanted. This reunion concert was not just about him and Mark. It was about the seven of them and Donghyuck would never mess it up just because he couldn’t stand Mark. What happened between them was in the past and Donghyuck was a grown up now. He won’t let personal feelings get in the way.

“Alright,” Mark finally relented, his voice and his face void of emotions. Donghyuck recognized it as his act of detachment. He retreated for Donghyuck’s sake, willing to do anything for his comfort but Donghyuck would never acknowledge his sacrifice. 

Not when he was hurt everywhere and didn’t know how to soothe his own pain. 

“I’m done. I’ll get going first.” 

“Go ahead. No one’s stopping you.” 

Mark cleared his throat, the words catching in his mouth. Donghyuck didn’t look at him. Just stared past him like he wasn’t even there.

“Right,” Mark muttered, more to himself than anyone else.

“Right.” Donghyuck echoed it in a flat tone, emotionless. 

Then, Mark left first, leaving Donghyuck behind with his own thoughts and the unspoken words between them. 

The first official meeting to discuss the comeback unexpectedly stretched for hours. It wasn’t until it was time for dinner that they finally called it a day. They carefully planned out everything, making sure that all members’ opinions would be taken into account. Besides the concert in Seoul, the company proposed filming a short variety program for the fans, though they didn’t push for it. The members decided to set that discussion aside, choosing to focus on the main plan first. 

The official news would be released next week and by then, they were expected to finalize at least the concept and the title track. There won’t be a lot of press conferences and interviews to attend like it used to be because their time was limited. It would take approximately three to four months to wrap up everything and Donghyuck’s shoulders invisibly slumped as he took in the information. It took way longer than he expected but he didn’t voice it out. 

Chenle suggested they eat outside and all of them agreed. They didn’t have to worry about Yushi as he would stay at Jaemin’s parents' house for the next few weeks because they would be busy with intense practice and recording. 

They arrived at the dorm around twelve, stomach full but exhausted. Now they had to talk about who’s going to room with whom. Donghyuck felt his stomach flipped as he dreaded what was about to come but he knew he couldn’t avoid this. They could have roomed with their old roommate but the members agreed to try something new and did it fairly—funny how fair was never on their top 10 list in their dictionary before. 

Jisung suggested they write their name on slips of paper and draw them randomly. Only three would have names and the rest would be blank. Jaemin teasingly scribbled his name down too, only for Jeno to snatch it away with a stern look and pull his husband into his lap.

The rest of the group let out exaggerated gagging noises, dramatically cringing at the shameless display of affection.

“You are out of question, little one,” Jeno said, pinching Jaemin’s nose playfully and earning a soft giggle in return.

Chenle’s nose wrinkled in mock disgust. “Gross. Get a room please.”

Jaemin stuck out his tongue, grinning from ear to ear like the cheeky minx he was. 

“You’re just being petty and jealous.”

Chenle sent him a glare but Jisung didn’t even bat an eye at the couple. He’d seen scenes like this countless times. With his workplace so close to their house, Jisung dropped by often for meals with the family. Even after Yushi was born, he remained their forever baby.

“Let’s make it quick,” Renjun cut in. “I need a shower and sleep. I’m dead tired.”

“Does anyone want to go first?” 

Mark asked, glancing around, but he didn’t let his face linger on Donghyuck who stood before him. He extended his hand, a few folded papers resting on his palm.

“Me,” 

Donghyuck stepped up. He didn’t want to prolong it and he just wanted to get it done. He ignored the sudden thud of his heartbeat as he approached Mark and took a slip of paper from his outstretched palm, careful not to let their skin touch. Without a word, he stepped back, and the others followed suit, taking their turns.

One of them would be alone and Donghyuck desperately wished it would be him. 

“Remember the rules, kids. Fair play and no switching. Open up now!” Jaemin instructed, still comfortably folded in Jeno’s lap. The pair watched with gleeful anticipation as the members unfolded their slips one by one.

Chenle was the first to scream, his voice cutting through the silence as he launched himself into Jisung’s arms. Jisung caught him just in time, arms instinctively opening wide. From across the room, Donghyuck caught Renjun’s panicked expression. His eyes widened in pure horror and Donghyuck didn’t even need to look at his paper to know whose name he’d picked.

Renjun, without a doubt, got his own name. He would get the room alone.

Chenle would be with Jisung. 

That left him and Mark. Together. 

Donghyuck’s new roommate would be Mark. 

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. 

Oh, fuck.

Donghyuck closed his eyes shut, clenching his teeth together. 

Of course. 

Of course he’d end up in the same room as Mark. Out of everyone, out of all the possible names, and he got his name. It almost felt scripted and it was as if the universe had decided he hadn’t suffered enough. As if being haunted by the past wasn’t already hard enough without having to share four walls and a bed with him.

Donghyuck stared at the slip in his hand, dread and disbelief swirling in his gut. He heard muffled gasps and when he opened his eyes again, he saw Jaemin clutched Jeno’s torso rather painfully, eyes wide and lips slightly parted in shock. Renjun was staring at him, worry and panic were evident on his face. Jisung looked worried for the first time since this morning and Chenle looked like he was ready to break the rules for him. So far, they had done a good job masking their facial expression and acted normal around them. But now their masks had slipped and it made Donghyuck feel even worse. Meanwhile Mark had stood frozen in places, unmoving. He looked somehow guilty even though it wasn’t his fault that Donghyuck got his name. 

Donghyuck watched him and cataloged every flinch, every flick of his eyes, and tried to figure out what they meant. He used to pride himself for knowing Mark like the back of his hand. Sometimes he even knew him better than the latter knew himself. But it was when they were still together, when things were good between them and they were very much in love. Again and again, Donghyuck realized with a gaping bleeding heart that things weren’t the same anymore. It was really hard to read him now because his thoughts didn’t play across his face, not anymore. His face was blank and his eyes were void of all emotions. Or maybe it was just Donghyuck who had lost the ability to read him.

“Well,” Jeno said after a heavy stretch of silence. His calm, easy voice cut through the tension and softened the atmosphere. Somehow, he was already standing between Donghyuck and Mark, tall and solid like a wall. Donghyuck hadn’t even seen him move.

“The roommate has been decided then. Any objection?” Jeno asked, though his eyes flicked meaningfully between Mark and Donghyuck.

“Please don’t start killing each other,”  Jisung quipped, ignoring the annoyed groans that followed. Sensing the crack in the tension, he added with a grin. “But if you do plan to fight, give me a heads-up so I can place a bet with Renjun hyung.” 

“Yeah, right,” Renjun said, playing along. “But please make it into a proper performance. Go all the way or nothing.” 

“We’re adults,” Mark replied, letting out an exasperated sigh as his signature sarcastic tone slipped back into place. For the first time since he arrived, he actually sounded like himself. “We can manage.” 

“Perfect!” Jaemin threw in and then his eyes narrowed threateningly. “The killing part can be done after this comeback is over. Do whatever you want but don’t do it in front of Yushi.” 

“Excuse me,” Donghyuck objected, clearly offended. “I’ve never slipped up and said a bad word around Yushi. That was all Renjun.” 

Renjun spluttered, letting out an indignant squeak as he whipped around to glare at Donghyuck. 

“That was one time! One fucking time !” 

“Point is,” Donghyuck said with a dramatic wave of his hand. “There’s nothing to be worried about. I’m a great role model.”

“So, no yelling and screaming and killing each other?” 

Donghyuck snorted, his patience wearing thin. He was about to open his mouth to answer Jaemin but Mark beat him to it. 

“No,” Mark said, his voice sharp, confident, and effortlessly in control. There was no room for discussion, just the quiet authority that demanded attention. His back straightened and the whole room fell into a gradual silence as they realized Mark was in his leader mode. 

“Jaemin, call your mom and inform her when you can take Yushi to the dorm. Jeno, meet me on the balcony in ten minutes. I need to talk to you about our roles. Renjun, go to your room and take a rest. Jisung, take out the trash first. You promised Jaemin this morning. Chenle, you can go back to your room first. You can choose which room you want. Donghyuck and I will take the remaining room.” 

They followed Mark in unison, doing exactly what Mark had instructed in silence. No one dared to question him. They left, one by one, but Chenle stayed. It wasn’t until Donghyuck saw his expression that he realized Chenle had been quiet during their argument, which was very unlike him. 

Now, it was only the three of them. 

“Chenle, xiao baobao, what’s wrong?” 

Mark asked as he approached Chenle, his voice laced with worry. Donghyuck’s heart gave a painful tug at that. There was an unspoken rule that Mark and Donghyuck took the parent role in the group and Chenle was their child. That was why when it was just them, Chenle called them Diedie and Mama . Instinctively, they coddled him, always handling him with care. Just as Jeno and Jaemin never fought in front of Yushi, they made sure to do the same for Chenle.

Mark was no longer in his leader mode. He was in his father mode now. 

Chenle reached out, fingers curling into the hem of Mark’s hoodie, the movement small but telling. Donghyuck, watching from just a few steps away, caught the shift instantly. Without a word, he walked over, closing the space between them until he was standing shoulder to shoulder with Mark.

“Hey,” Donghyuck reached out and ruffled his hair gently. “It’s okay, xiao baobao. We’re gonna be fine.” 

“Diedie, Mama,” Chenle called and Donghyuck had to physically hold himself together not to crumble. His stomach twisted, his chest tightening with intense, overwhelming emotion. “I can switch rooms if you want. I can sleep with Diedie or Mama. Whichever’s fine. I don’t mind.” 

“No,” Mark didn’t miss a beat to answer. His voice was soft yet resolute and it still held the same authority. “Xiao baobao, don’t worry about us. Do you still remember what Diedie told you before you went back home?” 

Donghyuck’s eyebrows furrowed, confused. This was new. He didn’t know that Mark met Chenle before the latter went back to China, let alone having a deep talk. 

Chenle nodded weakly. 

“I do. You told me that no matter what happened, Diedie and Mama will never let anything change between us.” 

Mark smiled gently, the corners of his eyes softening.

“That’s right. You heard your Mama too. We will be fine, xiao baobao. We can handle this.” 

Chenle looked at Mark with his big, hopeful eyes. With unshaken trust he had for the man before him. 

“Diedie promise?” he asked.  

“Diedie promise.” Mark answered. 

Donghyuck swallowed back the tears, blinking rapidly as they threatened to spill. It just dawned on him that he and Mark never really explained what happened with their relationship. Even before, when Chenle first heard about it, his reaction was different from everyone else’s. He didn’t know what went wrong but he didn’t demand anything. He was surprised but he didn’t push. Instead, he offered comfort and visited Mark and Donghyuck whenever he could. 

Now, as Donghyuck looked at him, he realized that maybe Chenle had acted that way because he didn’t want them to worry about him. The thought made Donghyuck feel like a bad parent because he had unintentionally overlooked Chenle’s feelings. 

“Xiao baobao, come here,” Donghyuck opened his arms and Chenle went straight into him, burying his face in his neck. He held him tightly, feeling the weight of guilt and shame settle in. “Mama and Diedie are sorry this has to happen this way. But we promise you that we will be okay. You will always have us. Always.” 

Chenle held him back just as tightly. “Okay.” 

“Okay,” Donghyuck echoed, barely above a whisper. “Okay.”   

When Donghyuck’s eyes met Mark’s, he immediately knew that despite everything that had changed, this one thing hadn’t. They still shared the same vision and the same promise.

And no matter where they stood now, they both intended to keep it that way.

As Donghyuck stood at the sink brushing his teeth, he shot a glare at the mirror, as if it offended him and was personally responsible for ruining his night. He was going to be in the same room and the same bed with Mark. The man he used to love, who broke him and left him bleeding, was going to sleep three feet away from him tonight.

This was happening for real. 

Donghyuck wasn’t sure whether to scream or laugh along because life always had a way of laughing in his face. 

He lifted a hand to his collarbone, tugging gently at the chain around his neck. The ring slipped out from beneath his hoodie, cool against his skin. He felt something tug at his heart, feeling the void and the emptiness. The ring was supposed to be on his third finger but after he broke up with Mark, he couldn’t bear the thought of wearing it again. Turning it into a necklace was the only way he could keep it close without having to see it. He didn’t want the memories. He just needed the feeling.

It wasn’t an expensive ring. Mark told him that it was actually his mother’s wedding ring that had been in her family for years and bought over by her mother. It was a simple silver band without any diamond. When Mark gave it to him, Donghyuck remembered he broke down in tears because it represented the highest forms of a commitment, a sign that they belonged to each other. It was something he treasured the most. It was a constant reminder of his past and he hated himself for never being able to take it off. He just couldn’t bring himself to do it.

Tucking the ring back beneath his hoodie, Donghyuck leaned over the sink and splashed cold water on his face, chasing away any trace of tears. He patted his skin dry with a towel, drawing a steady breath before stepping out of the bathroom.

When Donghyuck emerged from the bathroom, he was surprised to find Mark was already standing next to the bed, waiting for him. He stood there awkwardly, shifting from one foot to another, a gesture Donghyuck knew so well and for a moment he could see through his façade. The careful distance, the blank look, the way his eyes darted to the floor—it was like watching the past flicker to life in front of him. 

“There’s only one bed here,” he said, breaking the silence. Donghyuck just blinked, not quite comprehending his meaning. “We have to share the bed.”

Donghyuck didn’t bother reacting. He had already accepted the sleeping arrangement the moment he stepped out of the bathroom. It was already late. He was exhausted and there were no alternatives. He would lie down, sleep, and that would be it. He was in no mood to entertain old emotions. 

Donghyuck would just think that Mark was just another presence in the room and nothing more. He didn’t have the capacity to feel anything else.

It didn’t matter anymore. 

“Then we’re sharing the bed,” Donghyuck said flatly, moving to the other side without another glance. 

Mark swallowed loudly. “But—“

“What? You actually think one of us should sleep on the floor?” Donghyuck said, barely hiding his annoyance. “I’m not sleeping on the floor. If you want then be my guest. I don’t care.” 

“I just don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.” 

For a split second, Donghyuck’s heart stilled. That voice, soft and unguarded, wasn’t for show. It was real, and he hated how easily he recognized it.

Donghyuck clenched his jaw, digging his nails into his palm. 

“We’re not starring in a rom-com where one of us nobly sacrifices comfort for the other. Get in bed and get over it. Don’t worry. I have self-control,” Donghyuck said, voice laced with dry amusement. 

Mark blinked at him, more caught off guard by the fact that Donghyuck actually looked at him than by what he said. As if he hadn’t expected to be acknowledged. 

“Unless, you don’t.” 

There was silence after that. 

Mark didn’t say a word and Donghyuck didn’t bother waiting for one. He climbed onto the bed in silence, turning his back to where Mark stood; a clear line drawn without words. A beat passed before the mattress dipped with added weight and Donghyuck’s breath caught despite himself. 

Mark was there. 

Close enough that he could feel the heat of another body but still far enough that they couldn’t touch.

The uncomfortable silence that filled the room was dreadful. Donghyuck heard some rustling before the room turned pitch black. The last thing he remembered before sleep finally took him was a whisper of his name, so tender and soft, but he was too tired to realize that it wasn’t a dream.

Falling back into their routine was surprisingly easy. Their bodies still remembered the dance moves, instinctively reacting to the beat. Muscle memory kicked in effortlessly. They just needed a little time to adjust. It had been years since they’d danced together and they weren’t the same as they had been. Their bodies weren’t as quick and their stamina wasn’t what it once was. They could still feel the exhaustion creeping in faster than they’d like to admit. 

Less than an hour into practice, they were all sprawled on the floor, gasping for breath and  drenched in sweat. There was no quick recovery, no bouncing back like they used to. Every breath felt heavy and every muscle seemed to protest but they didn’t mind. The joy of dancing together, despite the fatigue, was worth every second. 

“I feel like I’m going to die.” Jaemin whined, sweat trickling down his temple. “My legs are numb.”

“My back aches,” Renjun groaned. He gestured for Jisung to come closer to him. “Park Jisung, crack my back, please.”

Jisung, still standing tall and not breaking a sweat like it was just another day and another routine, shook his head in amusement but still obliged. 

“You’re such an old man.” 

“You make us suffer for fun. You don’t get to judge my back pain.”

“Me too, please,” Chenle added from where he was sprawled on his back on the floor, gasping for air. “I don’t think I can get up tomorrow.” 

"Princess, straighten your legs," Jeno instructed as he approached Jaemin, who hadn’t moved from his spot, lying there like a dead fish. "I’ll help you cool down." 

Donghyuck, who had been listening quietly, blinked up at the ceiling, trying to steady his breath. It had been a while since he’d last stepped into the practice room and danced. He could feel his joints creaking and his back starting to ache, but somehow, the discomfort felt comforting like an old, familiar friend. It was exhausting yet there was a strange satisfaction in returning to the routine again. He missed this sensation. 

Donghyuck rolled onto his side, his head jerking when he realized Mark was lying right next to him. He quickly pushed himself back, his breath quickening once more. How had he not noticed Mark’s presence right next to him? 

Mark must have felt his gaze because he turned to face him almost immediately and their eyes met again. The sharp jolt that shot through him made him freeze, unable to move. 

The world seemed to stop moving. 

This was the very first time he was this close to Mark and now that he got a chance to properly look at him, Donghyuck could finally see the changes he hadn’t noticed before.

Mark’s face had lost the softness of youth. The faint lines around his eyes had deepened, making him look older, less innocent, more cautious and more guarded. It added an unexpected maturity to his features. He looked different, not just older but changed. There was a weight in his expression that hadn’t been there before. He also looked clean, his jaw freshly shaved, and he looked like he’d just gotten a haircut and somehow it made him look more polished and more grown-up. 

Donghyuck stared before he realized he was doing it, blinking as if waking up from a dream. His breath caught in his throat, a quiet hitch that no one would notice unless they were listening closely. There was a heaviness pressing down on his chest, a tight pull behind his ribs that he couldn’t shake. 

It was hard to look into his eyes. Those deep black eyes used to be so familiar but now they seemed heavier, full of things Donghyuck couldn’t quite place. They were drilling into him as if trying to communicate something unspoken, something that Donghyuck didn’t want to understand.

Their small moment broke when they heard a throat-clearing sound. Donghyuck quickly sat up straight, his heart racing as he quickly scanned the room. His members were already on their feet and he couldn’t help but feel the weight of the silence that hung between them. The air suddenly felt thick with unsettled tension and Donghyuck knew they were all acutely aware of what had just passed between him and Mark. 

Donghyuck pointedly ignored that and acted as if nothing had happened at all. 

“All right, kids,” Jeno said, his voice echoing through the whole room. “Let’s get started again.”

It has been a busy week. 

As soon as the news of their comeback was announced, their schedule filled up instantly. Multiple interview requests followed, each requiring them to share insights about their new album, the creative process, and what fans could expect. Some members were even invited to popular variety shows where they entertained audiences while discussing their comeback journey. Every day was packed with activities, leaving little time to rest. Despite the demanding schedule, everyone remained dedicated, constantly on the move, and giving their best to make this comeback a success.

It was already midnight when Donghyuck finally pulled into the driveway. He just finished filming an interview with Jeno and Jaemin but the couple decided to go back home tonight to spend their time with Yushi. 

He slid out of the car, thanking his manager for driving him home. The dorm was very tranquil and silent when he stepped inside. Everyone was probably asleep. He took off his shoes and entered quietly, slightly tiptoeing. The whole room was dark and Donghyuck was careful not to bump into anything or make a noise. He padded over to the kitchen and turned on the lights. He dropped his phone and bag onto the coffee table and wandered around. He checked the fridge and sighed in relief when the plate of kimchi stir-fry that Jaemin made this morning was still in there. He hadn’t had dinner and his stomach was growling now. He took it out and heated it up, drumming his fingers on the counter while waiting for it to be ready. 

After three minutes, Donghyuck grabbed a spoon and brought it to the table. He was halfway through finishing his food when he heard a loud bump and then someone cursing out loud. A moment later, a very sleepy Mark appeared. He was wearing pajama pants and a white T-shirt. His hair was sticking out from everywhere and his eyes weren’t completely open. It was clear he just woke up from his slumber.

“Oh, Donghyuck,” Mark mumbled in surprise, still disoriented, as he finally noticed his presence. He blinked and looked more awake now. “You’re home.”

Donghyuck didn’t answer him, silently continued eating.

Mark took a tentative step toward him. 

“Did you just get home?” 

Donghyuck hummed. 

“Oh.” he said. 

And then he didn’t say anything else.

Mark wordlessly walked to the counter. Donghyuck didn’t know what he was doing, probably getting some water to drink. He didn’t want to turn around and quickly stuffed the food into his mouth, chewing quickly and nearly choked. When he was about to stand up, a hand reached out to settle a cup next to his plate. He stared at it in confusion and then looked up at Mark.

“For you,” Mark said in a low voice. He probably knew that Donghyuck was going to reject it so he quickly added, “It will help you get a good sleep.” 

Donghyuck looked down and his stomach dropped as he realized that it was filled with warm chocolate, his favorite beverage.

Donghyuck closed his eyes, exhaling slowly. He was fine before this. The packed schedules had been a welcome distraction, keeping his mind occupied and giving him no time to dwell on things he wanted to forget. He had almost managed to erase Mark’s existence, playing his part perfectly and keeping their distance intact. 

But, of course, Mark had to ruin everything. 

“I don’t want this,” Donghyuck said, his voice sharper than he intended. “I can make this myself.” 

“I know,” Mark muttered, tone gentle yet firm. “I want to give this to you.” 

Donghyuck narrowed his eyes at Mark, sharp and intense. When he spoke again, his voice was cold and cut deep.

“And I don’t want anything from you.” 

Donghyuck rose from his seat and stormed out of the kitchen without another word. 

He didn’t need him pretending to care. He didn’t want Mark’s concern and he certainly didn’t need the way his presence made everything more complicated. It would be so much easier if Mark would just leave him alone and act like he didn’t exist. Because then, maybe it wouldn’t hurt this much. 

Screw Mark Lee and screw the loud thumps of his heart.

On a particularly bright Sunday, Jisung suggested they all go for a run. The other members were reluctant at first but with one word from Jeno and a gentle push from Mark, everyone was set to go at 6 a.m. Morning exercise wasn’t something Donghyuck enjoyed the most. It was just something he had to do to maintain their health. 

They could only run around the block since Yushi was in the dorm and neither Jaemin nor Jeno wanted to leave him alone for too long. The weather was pleasant and the air smelled fresh. After ten minutes of running, the members looked more awake and energized. Donghyuck trailed at the back, keeping a slow pace. He was bopping his head to the music in his AirPods when he sensed someone beside him. He didn’t need to turn to know that it was Mark. Lately, Mark had developed a strange habit of appearing beside him without warning. Donghyuck didn’t understand why but he’d grown used to it. Still, he always made sure never to acknowledge his presence. 

Donghyuck kept looking straight ahead, refusing to acknowledge his presence. He was just about to quicken his pace when a warm hand landed on his shoulder, gently but firmly bringing him to a stop. 

“What...” 

Donghyuck’s breath caught in his throat. The touch sent a jolt through his body and his expression instantly went blank. 

“You’ll fall if you keep running like that,” Mark said with a low voice, motioning with his hand. “Stay still. I’ll take care of it.”

Donghyuck blinked and suddenly Mark was crouched at his feet. 

“Wait—” he started, but Mark had already grabbed his ankle to keep him steady. He tried to pull his foot away, startled, but Mark’s hand was gentle yet firm, keeping it in place. In a few swift movements, the laces were tied. 

Mark stood up again before Donghyuck could even begin to make sense of what had just happened.

“Be careful. You might fall.” 

Mark gave him a smile and it was the kind of smile Donghyuck knew was meant just for him. It was tender, warm, and genuine. Then, without a word, Mark turned and continued running as if what he’d just done meant nothing at all. 

Donghyuck stood there, watching his back fade into the distance and suddenly his thoughts drifted back to when they were sixteen. They had already debuted then. He and Mark used to run together before practice along the Han River. Five to eight miles a day, sometimes more on weekends. Mark would wake him up at dawn, dragging him out of bed despite his groaning protests. Donghyuck wasn’t really fond of running but he’d run with Mark if that meant spending more time with him. 

Mark had always smelled amazing in the mornings. And somehow, even now, he still did. He smelled like mint toothpaste with a hint of black coffee and something else—something warm, something familiar, and undeniably him. 

Donghyuck shook the memory off and started running again, his pace steady but his mind racing. He wasn’t going to let old feelings or Mark’s sudden tenderness throw him off. He didn’t know what Mark’s intentions were but he wouldn’t let it mess with his head. Not again.

After running for almost an hour, the boys made a pit stop at a nearby supermarket for some snacks and drinks. Jeno and Jaemin went back early since Yushi would be waking up soon. Renjun pulled Donghyuck and Mark inside with him, leaving the rest to wait outside. He brought Donghyuck because he was reliable when it came to groceries. He was the kind of person who checked expiration dates, ingredients, and sugar content like his life depended on it. Mark came along for one simple reason: he was the one who would pay for everything.

Donghyuck was scanning the energy drinks, trying to decide which one to grab, when a conversation behind him caught his attention. 

“Hyung, are you getting those?” 

“Yeah. Why?” 

“What do you mean why? Since when did you eat jelly?” 

“Donghyuck and Chenle do.” 

Donghyuck didn’t want to turn around but his body betrayed him and he immediately regretted it when he found that Mark was blatantly staring at him from across the aisle. He looked at him as if he knew that Donghyuck would do it and when he did, Mark didn't do anything else and just kept staring at him. 

What broke the sudden silence between them was a muffled giggle and a quiet hush behind him. Donghyuck squinted past Mark and noticed a small group of girls, probably in their mid-twenties, shamelessly ogling him. They were checking him out from head to toe, no attempt at subtlety. 

It wasn’t new. It happened more than Donghyuck wanted to admit. Mark had always had that effect. He was popular before debut and even more popular after. He’d always drawn people’s attention effortlessly. People noticed him. Always had. And now, even in his thirties, nothing has changed. 

Mark had always been lean. He wasn’t too big or bulge with muscles but he wasn’t small either. He had a perfect proportion. He had lost his baby fat as soon as he hit twenty and he’d never had a soft belly or a hint of a double chin. Unlike Donghyuck who had always been a little softer around the edges. 

Just a few days ago, Donghyuck had seen him carry Yushi in one arm while holding three grocery bags in the other with practiced ease. Donghyuck could never do that. These days, even getting through a jog drained him. He barely had the motivation to hit the gym and morning runs felt more like punishment than routine. When they were still dating, every time they went out in public places, there would always be people who stopped for a while to turn at Mark.

If Donghyuck were to be honest, he didn’t think that Mark was as spectacular as people always said about him. He’d never describe him as spectacular or unbelievably handsome. Among all of the members of NCT, he thought that the closest members to fit those titles were Jaehyun and Taeyong. Because they also had this princely feature and it suited them perfectly. 

For Donghyuck, Mark had the kind of feature that made people want to see him because it was easy to stare at him. He might not be breathtaking, not in the same way as Taeyong and Jaehyun, but he was attractive and just normal. Donghyuck didn’t quite know how to phrase it. It was just that he liked to look at him. He liked his dark hair. It wasn’t silky because of the amount of times he’d dyed his hair and the damage from all of the bleaching. Sometimes when Donghyuck ran his fingers through his hair, his finger would get stuck in between the strands. His skin was so pale, clean, but dry. And his lips were chapped but really pink. He wasn’t tall like Johnny or Jaehyun but he had the best shoulders ever; wide and broad. Donghyuck had never described Mark in a disgustingly romantic way, and he preferred it that way. It made Mark more real to Donghyuck and that somehow he could always reach him.

Donghyuck didn’t know how long he’d been staring. He hadn’t even noticed the faint frown pulling at his brows until it was already there. That familiar green monster prickled beneath his skin and he immediately felt ridiculous. He knew he had no right to feel this way. He didn’t want to feel that way but there were some things he just couldn’t stop. 

When he finally blinked back to reality, Mark was standing right in front of him.

The sudden closeness made him jump.

“You startled me!” Donghyuck said, his hand flew over his heart, feeling its erratic heartbeats. Mark smiled sheepishly but there was a glint in his eyes. He looked somehow pleased. 

“Sorry. I just want to put this on the trolley.” 

Mark said as he put two big packages of jellies into the trolley, his voice light but his expression giving him away. That smirk, that knowing glint in his eyes. Donghyuck recognized it instantly and it made him pause. 

They had always been competitive, constantly testing each other’s limits. Donghyuck was usually the one to start it, teasing and provoking, and most of the time Mark would let him. Donghyuck usually had the upper hand, teasing first, pushing just far enough to get a reaction. But when Mark finally decided to fight back, he didn’t just return the favor. But he made sure to win. 

And he always did.

“I checked the fridge before we left and I noticed that we’re running out of your favorite jelly. You can share it with Chenle and Yushi because he likes it too.”

“Do I look like I can’t buy them myself?” Donghyuck snapped, narrowing his eyes at him disapprovingly. And somehow, that amused Mark even more. 

Mark let out a chuckle. 

“I know you can but I also want to stock up for Chenle too. Our xiao baobao likes them, doesn’t he?”

Donghyuck hissed, shooting a death glare at Mark, who remained completely unfazed. It was almost infuriating how this was exactly this was the exact reaction Mark had been waiting for. And for a split second, Donghyuck nearly lost it, right then and there. But he lifted his chin, refusing to back down, determined to have the last word even if he knew that he was already losing. 

“You have no right to drag Chenle into this. Have some dignity, Mark.” 

Donghyuck’s words were blunt, his glare unwavering.

Mark remained composed, his expression calm. 

“I’m not dragging him into anything. I always buy him jelly too and you know that. And he’s still our xiao baobao. That hasn’t changed, has it?”

Donghyuck’s face burned red, his temper spiking. He clenched his fists, barely holding himself back.

“You are absolutely shameless. Do you know that, Mark Lee?”

Donghyuck expected Mark to snap back. Back then, their playful banter had a way of escalating. It would turn sharp and ugly real quick because neither of them ever wanted to back down. And when Mark decided to fight, he was ruthless. Even Donghyuck couldn’t always keep up.

But Mark didn’t fire back.

Instead, he just smiled and it was soft and almost wistful. And this time, it wasn’t the usual cocky grin or teasing smirk. It was different. It was warm as if just looking at Donghyuck was enough to make him happy. Real happy. 

The raw emotion in his eyes hit Donghyuck like a wave, leaving him completely taken aback.

Mark didn’t say another word. He just turned and walked away, leaving the tension hanging thick in the air. Donghyuck’s grip on the trolley tightened, knuckles turning white. He exhaled sharply, forcing himself to steady the sudden, unsettling weight in his chest. 

What was Mark trying to do? What was he supposed to take from this? 

Donghyuck let out another deep breath, his heart faltered, and for the first time in a long while, he was afraid of what came next.

Waking up to a very quiet dorm wasn’t what Donghyuck expected. It felt so strange not having Jaemin and Renjun yelling in the morning, nagging at everyone. Ever since the members started preparing for the concert and learning to live in the same roof again, the dorm was never quiet.

Still dazed and disoriented, Donghyuck blinked to adjust his vision. When he looked around the room, as expected Mark was already gone. Mark always got up way earlier than Donghyuck. The smaller never saw him when he woke up and he supposed he should be thankful for that. 

Today was their day off. Everyone worked hard for the last three weeks and the manager decided to give them a day off to take a rest. After brushing his teeth real quick, he came downstairs and found Jeno in the kitchen. He was alone and already fully dressed, packing the lunch box for Yushi. 

“Jeno, where’s everyone?”

“You’re awake,” he said. “Renjun, Chenle, and Jisung are running some errands. Jaeminie is taking care of some work at our restaurant. Mark hyung is out for his morning run.”

Donghyuck let out a small  ‘ ah’ as he plopped down on the chair. He poured himself some water, gulping it down slowly. 

“Do you have a plan today?” 

Donghyuck stretched his arms above his head, wincing slightly as his bones cracked. A deep, satisfied sigh escaped his lips before he finally replied. 

“No. I would probably rest and play some video games.”

“Great. I need a favor.” 

“Lee Jeno, I don’t think you get it. My schedule is packed for the day.” 

Jeno purposely ignored it. 

“There’s a problem in our restaurant in Gangnam. Jaeminie and I have to go there right now. Can you get Yushi ready for school and take him there?”

“Oh!” Donghyuck’s voice shifted instantly at the mention of Yushi, his face lighting up. Jeno sighed, exasperated. “You should’ve told me earlier.” 

“So, you can do it?” 

“Of course! I will do anything for my cute nephew.” 

Jeno nodded as he quickly packed the lunch box and put them inside Yushi’s school bag.

“Yushi’s still asleep. You can wake him up now. His breakfast is ready, so don’t worry about cooking.”

Donghyuck waved him off. “Yeah, yeah. Just go. I’ll handle him.”

“Thanks! I’ll bring you kimchijjigae tonight”

Donghyuck grinned. “You better or I’m holding a grudge.”

After Jeno was gone, Donghyuck padded over to their room and opened the door slowly, careful not to make any sound. He found Yushi still sound asleep, sprawling out on his back with his mouth slightly opened. A fond smile made its way to his face as he took in the sight. Sometimes when the couple were busy or had schedules overseas, they always asked Donghyuck to babysit Yushi. He was so busy with practices these past few weeks that he hadn’t been spending that much time with Yushi. He missed the baby.

Walking up to the bed, Donghyuck bent down and shook Yushi’s body gently, smiling when the baby let out a whine. He was such a light sleeper like Jeno.

“Yushi-chan, sunshine,” Donghyuck said softly. “It’s time for you to wake up.” 

Yushi whined again, curling up into a ball. 

“Now?”

Donghyuck chuckled. “Yes, sunshine. You have to wake up now and get ready for school.”

Yushi slowly opened his eyes, blinking up at Donghyuck. He didn’t need to be told twice to sit up. He listened to others very well and rarely made a fuss. He was very well-behaved, unlike other kids his age and that made him easily adored by others. With his half-lidded eyes and hair sticking out in every direction, Yushi held out his arms to Donghyuck and the smaller quickly hoisted him up. Yushi hid his face in Donghyuck’s neck as the smaller made their way to the bathroom.

“Where are Papa and Daddy?”

“They had to go to work early,” Donghyuck replied, ruffling his messy hair. “You’re going to school with Uncle today. That’s okay with you, right?”

Yushi didn't protest and simply nodded, just like how Donghyuck had predicted. This little baby was truly an angel. 

It didn’t take long to bathe Yushi. After taking him out of the bathtub, Donghyuck wrapped him with a thick towel and led him outside. He nearly tripped over his own feet when he spotted Mark standing by the bed, Yushi’s uniform already in hand. He hadn’t expected him back so soon. His grip on Yushi’s towel tightened slightly. 

Before Donghyuck could say something, Mark beat him first.

“I’ll get Yushi dressed. You can get a quick shower before we drive him to the school.”

“I can take him to the school alone.” Donghyuck said defensively. He couldn’t help it. It was just his automatic response when he was with Mark. “You don’t have to go with us.”

“I know,” Mark said, not meeting his eyes. “But Jeno asked me to drive you and Yushi.”

Donghyuck opened his mouth, ready to argue but shut it just as fast. His eyes narrowed in suspicion. Was Mark messing with him or was he actually telling the truth? From what he knew, Jeno had always quietly supported him. He wasn’t the type to meddle but his silent concern was always there. Donghyuck was sure Jeno wouldn’t deliberately put him in a situation where he had to spend unnecessary time with Mark outside of work. 

But then it hit him. Jeno had always been insistent about one thing: driving. He knew Donghyuck hated it because he knew that the latter was more of a passenger princess. 

Knowing he had no choice but to go along with it, Donghyuck wordlessly nodded and let Mark take Yushi into his arms. Without another word, he slipped out of the room for a quick shower.

Fifteen minutes later, he found Yushi and Mark in the kitchen, already eating the breakfast Jaemin had prepared earlier.

“Uncle Haechanie, come and eat breakfast with us!”

Donghyuck smiled and shook his head. “I’ll eat later, sunshine. Finish yours, okay?” 

“Why are you skipping breakfast?”

If Donghyuck was surprised to hear Mark sound so curious—was that a hint of concern he heard? maybe it was just his imagination—, he didn't show it on his face. He didn’t even spare him a glance as he nonchalantly answered, “Just because.” 

“Uncle Haechanie is not hungry?” 

Yushi asked, his wide eyes brimming with concern as he looked at Donghyuck. He looked so much like his parents at that moment that Donghyuck’s heart melted instantly. 

“I will eat after I drop you off at school, sweetheart.” 

Yushi seemed satisfied with that and went back to eating. Donghyuck, on the other hand, could still feel Mark’s gaze burning into him, but he was getting better at pretending not to notice.

Thankfully, Yushi was as chatty as ever, filling the silence with stories about school. His excitement helped ease the tension between the adults as he animatedly shared what he had learned. Both Donghyuck and Mark listened attentively, laughing at the right moments and making sure to praise him for how smart he was.

After Yushi finished eating, Mark silently cleaned the table while Donghyuck adjusted the straps of his backpack. They stepped outside together, unconsciously positioning themselves on either side of Yushi.

Then, like it was the most natural thing in the world, Yushi reached for their hands and swung them happily.

A lump formed in Donghyuck’s throat. The image was too familiar. Too easy. Too much. And when he risked a glance at Mark, the look in his eyes confirmed that he felt it too.

The weight in Donghyuck’s chest grew heavier with each step. They looked too much like a family, too much like something he had no right to want that it made his heart ache, sharp and unrelenting. Yushi’s small hand on his own, the warmth of Mark just within reach felt too easy and too natural. And maybe that was the cruelest part. Because things like this weren’t meant to last and he knew better than to hope otherwise.

When they finally arrived at the kindergarten, Donghyuck and Mark walked Yushi to the gate and crouched down before the kid.

“Be a good boy, okay?” Donghyuck ruffled his hair gently. “Don’t forget to eat your lunch.” 

“Study well, baby.” Mark added, reaching out to straighten his uniform.

Yushi beamed at them.

“Yes, uncles! Don’t worry. I will! Thank you for driving me to school today!” 

Donghyuck and Mark smiled affectionately at the kid, pressing a quick goodbye kiss to his head before sending him off. They stood side by side, watching as Yushi ran ahead, seamlessly blending into the crowd of his classmates, his laughter carried by the morning breeze.

The scene before Donghyuck struck something deep inside him, something he hadn’t let himself think about in a long time. It reminded him of the old dream. 

The dream he used to share with someone he wished to forget. The one he used to hold onto so tightly. The one he used to share with the person standing right next to him.

There was a time a very long time ago when Donghyuck and Mark would lie on their backs and talk about their future together. Their shoulders touched, fingers intertwined, and legs entangled. They dreamed about a lot of things and some of their dreams were already fulfilled; being a singer and debuting together. It was their biggest dream and as a teenager, they felt very lucky because it felt like the world was on their sides. But they also dreamed about other things. They dreamed of having something solid, something old-fashioned, and something traditional. They wanted what Jeno and Jaemin had; marriage, kids, and home together. It was so easy to dream about them back then. Donghyuck always believed that his dreams would eventually come true. He just had to wait.

But fate has its way and Donghyuck had to accept the cruel reality. One moment, it was his to hold, warm and real. And the next, it was gone, slipping through his fingers like grains of sand. No matter how tightly he tried to cling to it, his small hands were never strong enough to keep it from falling apart.

Jeno, Jaemin, and Yushi were living proof of everything Donghyuck had lost and even though he never admitted it even to himself, part of him still clung to the old dreams, the promises they once shared. And that somehow, even though things weren’t the same anymore, it still could happen. But then again, who was he kidding? Donghyuck might have been stubborn but he wasn’t delusional. The moment Mark left, his dreams shattered and he knew with a finality that burned in his chest that he could never dream the same way again. 

The loud ring of the bell jerked Donghyuck back to the present. He blinked, completely unaware that he got carried away. He knew he was in trouble when he turned to Mark and saw the same unspoken pain, the same heavy emotions lingering in his eyes. Donghyuck’s breath caught. He looked away immediately, his heart hammering. 

He couldn’t do this now. 

Not wanting to wallow in self-pity, Donghyuck just walked past Mark and made his way to the car.

They drove back to the dorm in complete silence. There was traffic and Donghyuck wished there wasn’t because that meant he had to spend time with Mark longer than necessary. He wanted to go home and curl up on the couch or cuddle up with whoever was willing to give him some physical affection. Anyone, really. He didn’t dare to glance at Mark. He didn’t have the courage to do that.

Time seemed to pass by painfully slow. After what seemed like forever, the silence was broken when Donghyuck heard a sudden sharp intake of breath and then Mark stepped on the brake and the car stopped with a jerk. Donghyuck gasped in surprise and quickly turned to Mark in confusion and shock, wondering what might’ve happened to make the latter suddenly stop the car. But Mark was already turning to him, face as pale as ghost and his mouth slightly opened. His eyes weren’t on Donghyuck's face. He stared at his chest, his gaze boring into something. Donghyuck followed his gaze and sucked in a shaky breath as he realized that his necklace was out of his clothes. God, how come he didn’t notice it?

“You…” Mark stuttered but then he abruptly stopped. He stared at the ring with a completely blown expression and it made Donghyuck feel extremely vulnerable. It made him more naked than he’d ever been. He quickly tucked it back under his hoodie again, clutching it with a trembling hand.

“You still have it,” Marik said in a choked whisper, voice rough with emotions. Donghyuck didn’t answer him. 

“Donghyuck, you’re still wearing it.” he repeated, more desperate and frustrated at the same time.

“That’s none of your business, Mark,” Donghyuck hissed, trying so hard to stay composed. No, he wasn’t going to lose it today. It was supposed to be just like another day where he and Mark pretended that nothing happened between them and continued with their life. They weren’t supposed to have the conversation that could trigger their past.

Donghyuck’s chest heaved as he tried to suppress the need to sob. His eyes were stinging but he didn’t want to appear weak. He didn’t want to cry right now.

Especially not in front of Mark Lee. 

“I thought you already threw it away.”

“Well, I’m not like you who could easily leave everything behind.” Donghyuck snapped and he knew he had crossed the line the moment he saw hurt and anger flash through Mark’s face and eyes. Mark clenched his fists, his nostrils flared on a sharply indrawn breath.

“It’s not like that.”

“It is exactly like that.” Donghyuck spat, glaring at him.

They held each other’s gaze, eyes burning with fire. Back in the day, once they were fired up for a fight, it was almost impossible to stop. It would turn into something very ugly and nasty. They would say something they didn’t mean. Something hurtful and terrible. It was so easy to lose their places when they were arguing. It would shift into something more dangerous and they wouldn’t even realize it. More often than not, the conversations ended in silence or with one of them walking away. Anything to keep the wreckage from spreading further.

“It was hard for me too.” Mark said again, his voice trembled, cracking under the weight of the unresolved past between them. “I never meant to hurt you, Donghyuck. That was never what I wanted. I don’t want to hurt you. Not then, not now.”

Donghyuck let out a laugh, hollow and sharp, emotionless.

“Yeah? It was hard for you? Then what about me, Mark? Did you ever stop to think about how I felt when you just ended things and walked out of my life like everything we had meant nothing to you? Can you even imagine how fucking hurt and broken I was when you did that to me?”

Donghyuck’s sudden outburst hit Mark like a slap to the face. He jerked back, completely stunned. The truth knocked the breath out of him. His lips pressed into a tight line, his jaw clenched, and his eyes flickered with something between guilt and sorrow. 

But now that Donghyuck had finally cracked the dam open, the words came pouring out before he could stop himself. Years of silence, confusion, and betrayal surged forward in a flood of words he no longer had the strength and will to contain. 

“I’ve never got a chance to ask why,” he continued, chest heaving. “Why did you start pulling away? Why couldn’t you look me in the eye anymore? Why did you never touch me again? Why were you so sick of me? I’ve never had a proper explanation before you suddenly decided to break up with me and I was left wondering. What went wrong? What did I do wrong, Mark?”

A drop of tear escaped Donghyuck’s eyes and just like that, the carefully maintained fighter façade crumbled. Mark’s mask instantly slipped, revealing a flare of panic. He tried to reach out for his hand but the smaller quickly slapped it away.

Donghyuck bit his lower lips, trying to muffle a sob. He felt as if someone just stabbed his heart with a dull knife, reopening the old wounds. As long as he could remember, their relationship was fine. They were madly in love with each other and incredibly happy. They’ve been dating for five years but they were together longer than that. 

Donghyuck didn’t remember when things started to grow wrong. But then, suddenly a lot was wrong between them. Mark started to become distant. He stopped meeting Donghyuck’s eyes and stopped reaching for his hand. His touches turned cold, his kisses colder like winter settling between them. He was unhappy about something and Donghyuck always thought that it was his fault. He made him unhappy, undoubtedly. 

They started drifting. Each time Donghyuck tried to talk about it, to reach out and pull them back together, Mark shut him down. The more Mark withdrew, the more desperate Donghyuck became. It pushed him to say things he didn’t mean just to get a reaction, just to feel something from him. But his desperation only pushed Mark further away. Still, Donghyuck liked to believe that things would get better and he was determined to fix things between them, even though he didn’t know what exactly was wrong in their relationship. He just knew he wasn’t ready to give up. 

But before Donghyuck could fix things, Mark decided to break things up between them. He didn’t give him a proper explanation. He just said that he couldn’t and then he disappeared from Donghyuck’s life. Donghyuck couldn’t even describe how hurt it felt after Mark left him. He had spent almost half of his life with the same person; loved him and dreamed the same dream with him. He’d known him better than he’d even known himself. To suddenly be left alone was the hardest thing Donghyuck had ever been through.

The painful memory hit him like a physical blow, sending a sharp pain through his chest and suddenly he couldn’t breathe. That hurt so much more than he could imagine. After years trying to forget it, Donghyuck had to accept the fact that his feelings for Mark had never changed at all. 

And it made everything hurt twice as much.

“Donghyuck...”

“I wanted to fix things. I really did,” he said as he looked out of the windows, leaning his head against it. He didn’t look at Mark. He couldn’t. “I thought you weren’t happy with me and our relationship. I thought maybe I did something wrong to make you grow so distant and cold. That I wasn’t enough to make you happy. I kept going over everything in my head. Every conversation, every touch, every moment. I tried to find the one where it all started to go wrong. You started pulling away and I thought maybe I was too much or not enough. Maybe I loved you too loudly. Or maybe I didn’t say the right things at the right time. I thought I should try harder and be better so I could make you happy again.” 

His voice wavered as he blinked quickly, trying to push back the burn behind his eyes. When he finally turned to Mark, his eyes were raw and rimmed with hurt that hadn’t healed.

Mark looked like he was unraveling. Like he’d been burning in hell and Donghyuck’s words had dragged him deeper into the flames. He looked like someone just twisted a sharp knife on his wound, right where it hurt. His face contorted with anguish, lips parting as if he wanted to say something but no words came. His jaw clenched, a muscle twitching as he fought to hold himself together.

His eyes, glassy and bloodshot, were brimming with unshed tears.  

“I wanted you to be happy, Mark. I really do,” Donghyuck continued, his voice was trembling now and barely audible, but the words kept pouring out. “I knew that things weren’t always good and all rainbows. It wasn’t always smooth or happy between us. But I thought it was just another phase, you know? That somehow things would get back to normal after a while. That’s until you ended thing and disappeared like a fucking coward.” 

A bitter breath escaped his lips. He saw the way Mark’s lips parted, the way his eyes flickered with the urge to say something but Donghyuck didn’t let him.

“I’m...I’m tired.” Donghyuck said in a small voice. All the rampant energy inside him vanished, leaving him feeling drained and extremely exhausted. His hand moved instinctively to his chest, curling into a fist over the spot where the ring still hung. His fingers gripped the fabric tightly as if trying to anchor himself to something.  “I want to go home. Now.”

There was nothing Mark could do in that moment but to oblige. Words felt useless—too late, too empty. So he said nothing. He glanced at Donghyuck one last time, looking at the way he sat curled in on himself, fragile and worn out. Then he turned away and started the engine, the keys trembling slightly in his grip. He felt like the cruelest person on earth and it felt so much like he had broken something irreparable, something he had no right to touch again.

And in that moment, he knew he didn’t deserve forgiveness. Not from Donghyuck. 

Not even from himself.

Donghyuck avoided Mark at all costs after that night. Despite sharing the same house and the same bed, he managed to treat Mark like a ghost. A presence he could sense but he refused to acknowledge him. Every time Mark looked like he wanted to say something or take a step toward him, Donghyuck was already turning away. He couldn’t face him. Not after pouring everything out, leaving himself more exposed than he’d ever been before.

All he wanted was space; a space to breathe, to think, to stop feeling like he was on the verge of crumbling all over again.

Thankfully, after a week of tensed silence and one-sided distance, Mark seemed to get the message. He stopped trying. He kept his distance. And for a while, that silence was the only thing holding them together.

Their silent fight didn’t go unnoticed by the other members. It was clear something serious had happened when Donghyuck and Mark began acting like strangers. It wasn’t as if they had been particularly close lately but at least before this, they could still manage a level of civility and cooperation when it came to work. Now, it was as if they didn’t even recognize each other’s existence.

And that, to everyone, was the worst-case scenario.

None of the members dared to confront them outright. So instead, they gave them space like they always did and as much as they could. They watched from afar, hoping the silence would eventually turn into something softer. Something less painful.

Donghyuck threw himself into practice harder than ever. He welcomed the burn in his muscles and the ache in his bones. Anything that could drown out the noise in his head. Pushing his body past its limits became his escape. The more he worked, the more numb he felt. And maybe that was exactly what he needed.

Numbness.

Because anything was better than the ache in his chest. Better than the heaviness he carried every time he saw Mark across the room. He didn’t want to feel anything. Not when everything still hurt this much.

The concert was approaching and there was almost no time to rest. With rehearsals running long and packed schedules every day, they barely managed two or three hours of sleep a night. And due to the busy schedules, two weeks before the concert kicked off, Jeno and Jaemin took Yushi to their parents’ house. The kid would stay there until their concert in Seoul ended.

Today marked their first studio recording for the upcoming concert. Right after breakfast, the members filed out of the dorm, tired but focused. By the time they arrived at the studio, the producer was already there, waiting for them. He greeted them with a nod and gave them fifteen minutes to warm up their voices before they began.

While the others scattered around the room to stretch and hum quietly, the producer glanced around then called out to Donghyuck and Mark, who sat silently across from each other.

“Can I talk to you guys for a second?”

Donghyuck and Mark made a brief eye contact for the first time since their fight but quickly averted their gazes away as if the simple connection was too much to bear.

The air between them still felt thick but neither said a word.

“Yeah, sure.” Mark replied, his voice almost too quiet. Slowly, he stood from his seat and followed the producer into the recording room. He was tempted to turn around to check if Donghyuck was following them but held himself back. Instead he walked ever so slowly so he could hear Donghyuck’s footsteps and felt strangely at ease knowing the smaller was right behind him.

Once they were inside, Mark and Donghyuck took a seat next to each other but the space between them was too big to ignore.

“So, I know that you guys have released a duet song before and I think it would be good if you guys can sing it together again in the concert. Fans will like it for sure. What do you guys think?” 

Donghyuck instantly stiffened, his face went blank as he stared at the producer’s face. He knew he should say something; an answer, a response, anything. But he couldn’t think of any of it. His brain began to short-circuit. How was he supposed to respond to that? A comeback with a whole group was bearable but a duet song with Mark? Just the two of them? 

Donghyuck didn’t think he could handle it. But before he could say something, Mark beat him to it. 

“I think it’s a great idea, hyung,” Mark replied after an awkward moment of silence and his unexpected answer startled Donghyuck. “Like you said, fans would definitely like it.”

The producer looked very pleased with the answer.

“Great. So I suppose the two of you can stay behind after the group’s recording finishes to practice the song?”

Mark nodded his head firmly. “Yeah, sure.”

“How about you, Haechan? Is it okay for you, too?”

Donghyuck spluttered when all the attention was on him. He knew he couldn’t say no to this, not when the group was involved. So he put aside his own feelings like he always did and settled with a nod because he wasn’t able to utter a word at the moment. Nevertheless his answer was enough to seal the deal.

It was a couple of hours later when all the members had finished recording their parts and left Donghyuck and Mark alone in the studio that it finally occurred to Donghyuck that he was going to sing a song with Mark, just the two of them. Their song, on top of that. +82 Pressin’ was their very first duet song. It was part of Mark’s solo album and he still remembered how Mark had insisted on having Donghyuck featured on it. Donghyuck remembered the lyrics, each word and rhymes, by heart despite not hearing it for years now. 

Donghyuck hated the song because he could never listen to it without thinking about Mark and their past. After they broke up, he couldn’t even bring himself to listen to it, let alone sing it. But once again fate played with him and put him into another torture. 

Great. 

Fuck.

Now Donghyuck and Mark were stuck in the studio together, sitting awkwardly across from each other. The producer had gone to give them a few minutes break before they started recording again. 

The whole room was very quiet and still. And after a few minutes of painfully uncomfortable silence, Mark was the first one to break it.

“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice barely a whisper but it still managed to surprise Donghyuck. “I know you really didn’t want to do the duet.”

“Doesn’t matter now,” Donghyuck said, sharper than he meant to. “I just have to deal with it like always.” 

Mark swallowed loudly. 

“Donghyuck—” 

“I’ll survive, Mark,” Donghyuck cut him off, his voice sharp as a blade, leaving no room for further discussion. “I always do.” 

The words landed like a gut punch. For the first time since their last confrontation, Donghyuck caught a glimpse of emotion in Mark’s eyes. It was a mix of despair, torment, and deep regret. It was real and undeniable.

But Donghyuck was hurting too. His chest ached, his mind throbbed, and his entire being felt bruised. Everything had been hurting since Mark came back. He had no space left for self-pity. Not for himself, and certainly not for Mark.

So they could just suffer together.

“Alright,” Mark relented, his voice hollow and his expression back to being distant. “Do you want to practice now?”

Donghyuck just nodded woodenly. It actually didn’t surprise them when they could easily harmonize and sing the verses without having to look at the lyric sheet. The song lived in their memory and etched in their hearts. By the time they finished singing the whole song, the producer came in just in time, saving them from drifting to the past.

The recording went very well. They did it fast and clean, only repeating certain parts that could be improved. Donghyuck was the last one to record his part and when he stepped out of the recording room, he didn’t even bat an eyelash when he saw Mark leaning against the wall, clearly waiting for him.

“Let’s go home?” he asked, voice soft but uncertain. Donghyuck nodded again without saying anything. 

“Renjun just texted me,” Mark said once they stepped out of the building, walking to the parking lot. “The others are at the restaurant nearby. They’re waiting for us to have dinner together.”

Donghyuck gave a simple, curt nod as an answer. 

Twenty minutes later, they arrived at the restaurant. Donghyuck slid out of the car and walked ahead first. He didn’t wait for Mark because the latter was still talking to the manager. And because he was eager to escape from him and craved the safety from his members.

Donghyuck was walking to the entrance and didn't really pay attention to his surroundings until he bumped into someone’s chest, making him stumble backward. The apology was already on the tip of his tongue but when he looked up, he saw a man towering over him. That man looked down on him with an obvious interest, his pupils dilated and unfocused, cheeks bright red and he could smell alcohol from his breath. It was obvious that the stranger was heavily drunk. The man couldn’t even properly stand and his eyes were hazy. His lips curved into a suggestive smirk and Donghyuk froze, his horrified eyes widened.

“Are you alone, pretty boy? Do you want some company?”

The man took a step forward and managed to grab his wrist in a tight grip that would most definitely bruise tomorrow. Donghyuck gasped loudly as he tried to get free from that stranger’s hold, his body shuddering in fear. The look on that stranger made him feel sick.

“Let me go or I will yell. People will come and beat the shit out of you.” 

Donghyuck threatened even though his voice wavered. There were actually some people who were watching them but they didn’t make an attempt to approach him. 

Well, bad luck.

The stranger let out a loud laugh and Donghyuck nearly gagged from the overpowering stench of alcohol. He leaned in, and Donghyuck let out a small, pained whimper when the man’s hand managed to touch the side of his face. Before he could say something, a loud territorial roar was heard and suddenly Donghyuck was freed from the stranger. A hand settled on his waist and squeezed firmly. Donghyuck gasped as Mark spun him around and pulled him into his chest. He looked up, trembling, and his breath hitching when he saw the look on Mark’s face.

Mark stood rigid, absolutely livid. His nostrils flared, lips pressed in a hard line. He seemed composed enough but Donghyuck knew better than that.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Mark's voice was cold as ice and sharp as a razor. Donghyuck could sense the intense anger vibrating beneath that calm surface. Out of impulse—it was more like a habit that never died—he wrapped his arms around his waist to keep him grounded.

Mark’s body tensed for a split second before his shoulders dropped and he instinctively pulled Donghyuck closer, shielding him from the world. 

That stranger had the audacity to laugh and his loud voice made Donghyuck flinch. Mark tightened his arms around Donghyuck, almost squeezing the air out of him. Donghyuck shuddered, but this time, it wasn’t from fear. It was from the raw possessiveness and fierce protectiveness in Mark’s embrace.

“Oh, is this pretty boy yours?”

A low yet dangerous growl rumbled deep in Mark’s throat. The stranger may have been bigger and buffer but in that moment, Mark looked ten times more terrifying. It made Donghyuck tighten his hold, preventing him from moving.

He wasn’t afraid of what the man might do to him. 

He was afraid of what Mark might do to the man. 

They were practically making a scene now and more people were staring at them.

“Do not call him that with your filthy mouth. And yes, he is mine . Fuck off, asshole.”

The words were a snarl through his gritted teeth. And it must have been the absolute possessiveness in his voice that made the stranger finally stop his confrontation, stumbling backwards in fear. 

Mark’s grip on his waist was tight, his nails digging into his skin as he practically dragged Donghyuck inside, searching for the members. Donghyuck was pliant in his hold. His mind was hazy and suddenly he felt physically ill. He still couldn’t comprehend the whole situation. His ears were ringing and he couldn’t hear anything but he could feel Mark’s body was still trembling with anger. 

The world moved around him, making him dizzy. And then there were gasps and shrieks. People sounded shocked and terrified. At the back of his mind, Donghyuck recognized Jaemin and Renjun loud cries of panic but he couldn’t bear himself to think further. The anxiety from before surged back, making his entire body shake. His breath hitched and his vision blurred with tears. He would’ve fallen onto the ground if it weren’t for strong arms wrapped around his waist and his entire back.

“Breathe, Donghyuck. Breathe.”

Mark’s voice sounded so far but Donghyuck could see his face only inches apart from his, he could feel his warm touch, holding his face ever so gently and it made the sobs burst through his lips.

“Ssh, pup,” Mark whispered, the endearing nickname slipped so easily from his lips without him realizing it. “It’s okay. I’m here, pup.”

Mark leaned his forehead against his, stroking his face gently as he whispered sweet nothings over and over again. Donghyuck clung to him, needing the physical contact to calm his wild heartbeat. He needed this and he knew that Mark also needed it too.

Just a moment ago he wanted to escape from him but now as Mark leaned his head a little and pressed his cold lips against his sweaty temple while stroking the side of his face, Donghyuck felt a huge surge of relief flooded him. He clutched his shirt so hard his knuckles went numb. He shifted a little and it was when he realized that he was straddling Mark’s lap, both of his legs dangling on his sides. In normal circumstances, Donghyuck would have pushed him. But right now Donghyuck couldn’t find it in himself to pull away because he felt safe in his arms. One of Mark’s hands travelled down to the small of his back, wrapping around it securely.

Feeling exhausted, Donghyuck leaned his head to Mark’s shoulder, dazed and disoriented.

“What…” Jaemin’s voice was strained. His face was pale and white as paper, his lower lips trembled as he took in the sight of Donghyuck. “What happened?”

Mark finally lifted his face from the smaller and realized that the other members were crowding around them, worry and panic were written on their faces. Mark forced himself to recount the story and instinctively tightened his grip around the smaller when he felt him twitch in his arms. 

Once he finished the story, the whole table went quiet and their faces went even paler.

Jaemin’s entire face turned red, bristling, and Jeno looked clearly livid. Chenle let out a series of cursing words, ready to get up from his seat and fight. Renjun looked absolutely pissed and fuming. His jaw clenched and his face scrunched up in anger. He made an attempt to get up but Jisung who sat next to him pulled him back down, digging his nails into his elbow to keep him in place. 

“Who is that fucktard? I’m going to fucking kill him.” Renjun seethed, body shaking with fury.

“You’re not going to kill anyone, hyung,” Jisung said firmly, gripping his bicep in a tight grip. “You’re going to be here for Haechanie hyung.”

As if they just woke up from a trance, Jaemin rose from his seat to approach Donghyuck. Chenle and Jeno followed him from behind.

“We’re going home,” Jaemin said as he stood before him, reaching out to stroke Donghyuck’s hair gently. “We’ll take you home now. Do you want to be carried, sweetheart?”

Donghyuck didn’t answer verbally but his hand reached out for Jaemin who was ready with his arms wide open. Jaemin crouched down and Jeno helped Donghyuck into Jaemin’s back. Mark let the smaller go, already missing the familiar heat against his body. 

Jeno went to the cashier to pay for their food meanwhile the others left the table, ignoring whispers and looks from people around them. Once everyone was settled in a van, Jaemin and Renjun made Donghyuck sit between them. The smaller curled up into a ball against Jaemin’s chest and eventually fell asleep because Jaemin didn’t stop stroking his head. Mark sat at the back, longing for the smaller but he knew it wasn’t his place to interfere.

When they finally arrived at the dorm, Jeno who sat next to the driver seat slid out of the car first. He silently took the smaller into his arms, careful not to shift him. Everyone followed close behind him. As Jeno brought Donghyuck upstairs, Mark lingered at the back, unsure of what to do. It was Chenle who silently encouraged him by wrapping an arm around his arms, leading him upstairs with a very fussing Renjun ahead of them.

“It’s fine, Diedie,” he said, tightening his hold. “You can be there for Mama, too.”

Mark swallowed thickly and held Chenle closer to him, trying to seek comfort from his presence. Jaemin and Jisung were downstairs preparing the food for Donghyuck in case the smaller woke up and craved something. 

Once everyone was inside the room, Renjun and Jisung helped make the bed. Jeno settled Donghyuck in the middle of the bed as gently as he could. Chenle helped take off his shoes and socks, placing them on the floor.

“Are you comfortable enough, bub?” Renjun asked as he sat at the edge of the bed, his motherly tone made Donghyuck feel slightly better. The smaller could only nod as an answer.

“We’ll let you get some rest. If you need anything, just tell Mark hyung and he will get you everything. All right?”

“Thank you,” Donghyuck managed to say it even though his voice came out almost inaudible but they still caught it. 

Before closing the door, Chenle looked at Mark with a pleading look.

“Take care of Mama?”

Mark swallowed thickly and nodded. “I will, xiao baobao.”

Mark and Donghyuck were left alone now. It suddenly became really quiet and Mark wasn’t sure what to do. He didn’t know if Donghyuck wanted to be near him. Even though they were practically glued against each other just a few moments ago, that was only because Donghyuck wasn’t completely conscious of his surroundings. Now that he was sober enough, Mark didn’t want to push his luck. But he also couldn’t bring himself to leave, not after everything that had happened. He needed to stay close, to watch over the smaller but he decided that it would be wise to sleep on the floor instead, giving Donghyuck the space he needed.

Mark was about to grab his blanket when Donghyuck called him. 

“Mark?”

Mark’s movement froze but he quickly responded to him. 

“Yes, Donghyuck? Do you need something?”

Donghyuck was quiet for a moment. After a few heartbeats, he slowly turned his body so he was facing the latter now. He blinked and hesitantly patted the space next to him. Mark got the message right away but he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to do it. Donghyuck was very vulnerable right now and he didn’t want to take advantage of his current state.

“It’s okay,” he croaked, eyes fixed on him. “Please?”

Donghyuck knew what he did was risky. He was vulnerable and still couldn’t think straight. But he was sober enough to know what he wanted. He needed to feel safe and as much as he hated to admit it, only Mark could give him that at the moment.

Mark must have sensed his distress because he quickly climbed on the bed and lay down next to him.

There was still a big space between them. It was Donghyuck who moved first but Mark immediately met him halfway. He caught him by the waist and pulled him impossibly closer.

Mark held Donghyuck close as the smaller buried his face against his chest. Leaning down, Mark pressed his cheek to the top of Donghyuck’s head. Everything around them was still and quiet, the world fading into the background. The only sound Donghyuck heard was just the thud of his own heart, hammering against his chest, and the steady rhythm of his breath. He blinked and slowly lifted his head. He found Mark’s eyes were open too, staring at his face. 

The look on Mark’s face knocked the breath out of Donghyuck’s lungs. The emotions that he showed were raw and bluntly honest. Even after years, it still made no sense how Mark looked at him like he was the precious thing in the world.

Mark exhaled sharply through his nose and tightened his hold around his body. He still could feel the dread through him. The image of someone else touching Donghyuck set fire inside him. His body trembled as he lifted his hand and touched the side of his face, holding it tenderly.

“I was so scared.” Mark confessed, his voice broken with heavy emotions. Donghyuck scooted closer to him, feeling the warmth radiating from his strong body. He placed his hand against Mark’s chest and he could feel the erratic pounding of his heartbeat beneath his palm.

“I’m okay now. It’s okay.”

The steady rise of Donghyuck’s chest pressing close against Mark slowly made the latter’s body go relaxed. They didn’t say anything else after that, basking in each other’s warm embrace. More tired and exhausted than he thought, Donghyuck eventually fell asleep, head still tucking under his chin and body wrapped around his strong and safe arms. 

That night, for the first time in years, Mark could sleep in peace knowing that he had the smaller in his arms again, even though it was only temporary.

Donghyuck woke up feeling like he had been set on fire from the inside out. His skin was clammy, his body heavy, His throat burned, raw and scratchy. His head pounded and the world tilted every time he shifted.

Somewhere between the hazy edges of reality and dream, Donghyuck felt a familiar presence around him. It was warm against his trembling body, safe in a way that made his chest ache. A voice whispered something close to his ear, low and soothing, but he couldn’t make out the words. 

Was it real? He couldn’t tell.

But the touch—firm and grounding—felt so real.

The second time, he was cocooned in warmth, strong arms wrapping around him like a childhood blanket, pulling him in, holding him tight. 

“Ssst, go back to sleep, pup,” 

The soft, gentle voice that often came only in his dreams was enough to lull him back to sleep. 

The next time Donghyuck woke up, the room was quiet, the world around him dim and serene. His body ached and his head spun as he blinked slowly into consciousness. When he finally managed to open his eyes, his breath hitched at the sight before him. 

Mark was fast asleep on the floor, his face turned toward him. The soft glow from the nightstand bathed his features in yellow light, highlighting the mess of his hair and the deep shadows beneath his eyes. His body curled in an uncomfortable position and yet he looked like he had been exactly where he needed to be.

Donghyuck swallowed hard. Even without asking, he knew that Mark had stayed by his side. 

Then it hit him. Flashes of last night filtering through his clouded mind. He remembered his feverish desperation and the way he had let his guard slip. He had reached for Mark. Even after telling himself, over and over again, that he wouldn’t, that he shouldn’t, that he had more pride than this. 

But last night, he was weak and frail. He had asked him to stay and Mark had stayed. And now he didn’t know what to do with himself and his feelings. 

As if sensing Donghyuck’s inner turmoil, Mark suddenly jerked awake, inhaling sharply. His eyes widened in startled confusion, like he couldn’t believe he had let himself fall asleep when he wasn’t supposed to. 

“Hey, you’re awake,” Mark said, still a little bit disoriented. He straightened his back, brushing his hair as he rapidly blinked to gain back his consciousness. “Do you need something?” 

“Water,” Donghyuck croaked out and in a smaller voice, he added, “Please.” 

“Yeah, sure.” 

Without hesitation, Mark reached for the glass of water he had set aside earlier, anticipating Donghyuck’s need before he could even voice it. Then, to Donghyuck’s surprise, he climbed onto the bed. 

Without a word, Mark eased Donghyuck up with deliberate gentleness. When Donghyuck reached for the glass, Mark didn’t hand it over. Instead, he held it himself, lifting it to Donghyuck’s lips.

Donghyuck could have snapped at him, could have resisted, but instead, he took a sip, letting the silence between them speak louder than words. 

Donghyuck knew that Mark could take a lot. His sharp words, his endless teasing, even the way he always tried to take the upper hand. But even back then when they were still together, Mark had his limits. There was one thing he would never let slide; Donghyuck’s well-being. And the shift in his expression told Donghyuck that this was one of those moments.

Donghyuck knew that Mark had been careful around him after he came back, like he was afraid of crossing the line. He had been avoiding, holding back, and walking on eggshells. 

But now, that line has blurred. 

And Donghyuck wasn’t sure whether to draw it back or let it disappear. 

“What time is it?” 

“Still early in the morning,” Mark murmured as he gently eased Donghyuck back onto the bed, tucking the blanket around him. “We don’t have practice today. You can go back to sleep.” 

“But—” 

“Lee Haechan, go back to sleep.” Mark repeated, his voice low with unrelenting authority. 

Under normal circumstances, Donghyuck would have had a sharp retort ready for Mark’s tone. But he could feel another headache coming and his emotions were still all over the place, overwhelming and consuming. So he closed his eyes again, letting the exhaustion pull him under, where dreams and reality blended into something softer, something safer.

That day, he dreamed of clear summer skies, green trees and lilies, happy laughter, and a soft wave hitting the shore. In his dream, he was running, breathless with joy, and his fingers laced with another’s. In his dream, everything he’d wished for was within his reach, waiting for him with open arms, as if it had never left him in the first place.

It was so beautiful that his heart swelled with longing and without even knowing it, he wept quietly in his sleep.

Donghyuck woke up feeling so much better. His headache was gone, his temperature was close to normal, and his breathing was light and easy. He didn’t know how much time had passed but he was pleasantly surprised to find Jeno sitting at the edge of the bed. 

“Jeno? Why are you here?” 

Donghyuck asked, blinking in confusion. 

“Oh, you’re finally awake,” 

Donghyuck slowly sat up and Jeno immediately handed him a glass of water. 

“If you’re looking for Mark hyung, he’s having dinner downstairs. He didn’t want to leave your side so Jaemin had to threaten him just to make him go.” 

“Yeah? I don’t need to know.” 

“Don’t you? You looked pretty surprised to see me instead of Mark hyung.” 

Donghyuck let out a soft breath.

With Jaemin and Renjun, things were always easy. Their conversations were light, full of playful jabs and teasing, never pressing too hard. He only had to show a hint of honesty, a little bit of vulnerability, and that was enough to reassure them. It was their agreement; they wouldn’t push but Donghyuck had come to them when he needed to. It was their way of being there for him. 

Jeno was different. He didn’t speak much and didn’t insert himself unless he had to. But when he wanted the truth, he didn’t waste time with small talk. He had always been blunt and straight to the point. And somehow, that was exactly what made people open up to him. 

“It’s complicated,” Donghyuck started, his voice catching as he swallowed hard. Jeno met his gaze with patient eyes, calm but silently insistent. “I still don’t know how to explain it. I thought I already moved on but look at me now. Look at us.” 

Donghyuck exhaled. The truth came out easier than he thought. He didn’t elaborate but he knew that Jeno understood. 

“Do you know that Jaemin and I had a big fight before I proposed to him?” 

Donghyuck’s eyes widened in pure surprise. This was new and almost strange. Jaemin told him everything but he had never heard his best friend mention this. 

“What?” he gasped in disbelief. “What happened?” 

Jeno let out a deep sigh and he looked like he was in a deep sorrow just to recall it. 

“It was mostly my fault,” he began. “At the time, we had already agreed not to renew our contract with the company. Everyone seemed to have a plan for what came next. I did too but I was torn. I started doubting myself whether I could really keep Jaemin happy by my side. Without realizing it, I began to pull away. I got so caught up in my own thoughts that I didn’t notice how much I was hurting him. When he finally confronted me, he called me selfish. I wasn’t in the right headspace and his words hit my ego. I lashed out and I ended up saying something I didn’t mean. After that we didn’t speak for a whole week.” 

Donghyuck stared at Jeno, completely dumbfounded. He was at a loss of words. Jeno and Jaemin bickered often but a serious fight was rare. Donghyuck always saw Jeno and Jaemin as something solid, like nothing could really come between them. But from the way Jeno spoke, it sounded like they’d almost broken up. And that hit too close to home because he knew exactly what that felt like.

And he couldn’t imagine them going through the same thing. 

“So, did Jaemin manage to knock some sense into your head?” 

Jeno let out a small chuckle, amused. 

“He did,” he said. “After our fight, I went back to my old apartment because I thought we needed space for a while. But then the next day, Jaemin stormed in. He didn’t cry. He just screamed. He let everything out until I finally heard him. Until I understand. It was ugly and messy. But that was a huge wake-up call for me. If Jaemin hadn’t come that night, if I let things go on without doing anything, I wouldn’t be here today.” 

Donghyuck pressed his lips together as a lump rose in his throat. Bitterness crept in before he could stop it. He was genuinely glad that his best friends had found a way through and that they managed to fix things before everything fell apart.

But he knew that the same thing couldn’t happen to all people and he didn’t get that chance.

The silence between them suddenly became heavy. 

“What happened with you and Mark hyung couldn’t be fixed. We couldn’t fix the past,” Jeno added, his face softened as he looked at Donghyuck. “But you still have today and tomorrow. You lost the chance in the past but there’s still a chance now.” 

Donghyuck shook his head, his eyes brimming with tears. His lips trembled as emotions threatened to spill. Jeno reached out and held his hands, squeezing them gently. 

“You don’t need to explain it,” Jeno reassured. “This might sound old-fashioned but sometimes you just need to follow your heart.” 

What Jeno said unlocked something in Donghyuck. The fear and doubt were still there, lingering in the corners of his mind but somehow, what lay ahead didn’t feel quite as terrifying and scary anymore. It didn’t magically make him ready to take a leap of faith but it was enough to calm the storm inside him.

For the first time in a while, things began to feel clearer. Maybe it wasn’t as complicated as he’d always believed. 

“You’ve really grown up, huh?” Donghyuck teased, the corners of his mouth lifting. Jeno rolled his eyes and gently pulled his hands away.

“I’ve always been wiser than you.” 

“Cocky,” Donghyuck replied without a real heat. “Thanks for the advice, Mr. Wise, but you don’t have to worry about me. You should be more worried about what happens if Yushi ever finds out that’s how he was conceived.” 

“Don’t worry about that. My husband is very imaginative and he can turn a basic story into a spectacular one.” 

Donghyuck laughed, loud and real. His heart was finally at ease. 

“Jeno?” 

Donghyuck called out before Jeno reached the door. The latter paused, turning back with a raised brow.

“Do you think we can make it?” 

Jeno smiled, caring and reassuring. 

“I think you already know the answer. It’s there, right in front of you. You just need to admit it, Haechan.” 

Something shifted between them after that night. Things slowly returned to normal. They stopped ignoring each other and no longer avoided shared spaces or shared glances. They weren’t exactly going back to how they used to be but the silence between them no longer felt strained. They weren’t talking much but the heavy tension was gone. That alone was enough to bring quiet relief, not just to them but to the others too. 

After months of intense preparation, the concert was only a week away. Every member was pushing themselves past the edge of exhaustion. They’d poured everything into this moment. And the night before the concert, after wrapping up their final practice, the seven of them found themselves gathered in the living room. They talked about how far they’d come, the challenges they’d faced, and the moments they almost gave up. 

The bond between them had always been strong, but that night, it felt unbreakable. 

The long awaited concert had lasted for three whole hours and it went by without a hitch. By the time the lights faded to black and it was the time to step down the stage, no one could hold back anymore and burst into tears together. They still couldn’t believe that this moment was really happening but at the same time, they were glad and happy that it went successfully. When they came back to the dressing room, eyes red and cheeks wet from the fresh tears, they cried again when their families and friends congratulated them, telling them how proud they were of their achievements.

After the chatter had died down and it was the time for them to attend the after party, Donghyuck who was packing his thing into the bag stopped his movement when he felt something was missing. He lifted his hand and brought it to his neck, gasping in shock as he finally realized that his necklace wasn’t there. He frantically roamed his hand around his upper body, desperately trying to convince himself that maybe the necklace was stuck on his clothes. But after a few minutes, he still couldn’t find it. His eyes stung with fresh tears as the thought of losing something very precious for him started to fill his mind. He must have looked so lost and distressed because the members started to notice it.

“Haechan, are you okay?”

Renjun, who stood close to him, put his arm around his shoulder, looking at him worriedly. Donghyuck couldn’t bring himself to answer him. His mind went completely blank. 

His necklace was gone and Donghyuck had to find it. 

He couldn’t afford to lose it.

Renjun’s grip on his shoulder tightened and he became alarmed as he saw tears spilling out of Donghyuck’s eyes, rolling down his cheeks.

“Haechan, hey, what’s wrong? Talk to me.” 

“I—I have to go.”

Donghyuck shrugged Renjun’s grip and ran out of the room, ignoring the startled scream of his name from the others. He ran back to the venue, passing some staff who were currently cleaning up the arena and some were packing up the equipment. He still had a little hope and kept convincing himself that his necklace probably fell off when he was on the stage.

Donghyuck was so used to never taking it off that it didn’t occur to him that it might fall after dancing and bouncing crazily on the stage earlier. He didn’t know how he managed to ask the staff to let him get inside the venue again. His mind was a jumbled mess as he ran over to the stage and searched frantically, his eyes blurred with tears as he kept on looking for the necklace. It was the only thing he had after Mark left him and he treasured it more than anything.

Donghyuck kept searching and running around the stage and he even went down in case it got thrown away. His head hurt. His heart hurt. And his legs finally gave up as he fell down on the ground. Tears streamed down his face as he let out a strangled sob. His stomach dropped as the reality slowly sank in. 

He couldn’t believe that he lost his necklace. And it was gone now. Donghyuck would never see it again. Forever. He cried harder as he clutched his chest. It felt so wrong and empty not having it there. Like something important was missing from his life, leaving a deep hole inside his heart.

Donghyuck didn’t know how long he’d been sitting on the ground and crying his heart out. It was when he heard footsteps approaching that he finally lifted his head and another wave of emotion hit him at the sight of Mark, his heart tightening excruciatingly. 

Why did he have to show up right now when Donghyuck felt like he had been torn in two and when he was feeling utterly lost after losing the most precious thing in his life?

Why? Why? Why? 

Mark knelt on one knee before him. He was breathless, face still thick with make-up, small beads of sweat formed on his face, and his damp hair stuck to his forehead. He looked worried and alarmed as he took in the sight of a crying Donghyuck.

“Donghyuck, what’s wrong? Are you hurt everywhere? Please, tell me what’s wrong so I can help you. Don’t cry, please.”

Donghyuck wished he could tell him directly that a lot was wrong. The past seven years weren’t easy at all for him. He wished he could forget his past with Mark but deep down he knew he couldn’t let go. He was aware that no one could ever be connected to him in any way like how he was with Mark. The second their eyes met after seven long years, the spark inside him came back to life, burning brighter than ever, and suddenly, he felt alive again.

Donghyuck wanted him more than he wanted to hate him.

He could finally admit it and that was the problem. Before this, it was easier to stay mad and to stay distant than to admit how badly he still wanted Mark. But right now, he gave up. He no longer had the energy to lie to himself. 

Donghyuck loved Mark. 

He still loved him. 

After all these years, his feelings hadn’t changed. It was still the same.  

Donghyuck’s throat instantly closed. More fresh tears spilled out from his eyes. There was no way he could tell him that the necklace was gone now. They might not be together anymore but Donghyuck wasn’t the only one who treasured the ring. Mark trusted him to keep it. It would break him too if he knew that Donghyuck had lost it.

“M-Mark—“ he said, but stopped himself. He didn’t know what to say. 

What should he do now?

Things were never certain between them ever since they met again. They tried to walk on a safe path because they knew what it felt like to fall off a cliff once and wouldn’t want the second time to happen. But at this moment, losing his necklace felt so much like he’d almost fallen off a cliff again and he needed something to hold on. 

Someone. 

Mark. 

Donghyuck needed Mark. 

So Donghyuck reached out for him and held him close, so close their chest pressed together and their wild heartbeats beating rhythmically. Mark sucked in a sharp breath, not expecting Donghyuck’s sudden action, but he cradled his head against his chest as gently as he could as if he was afraid that Donghyuck might leap away.

No, not again. 

Donghyuck could feel something was almost over. 

He squeezed Mark. 

I’m afraid .

And Mark squeezed him back. 

I’m here.

Mark had texted the others to go without them because he needed to take Donghyuck home. He didn’t exactly tell them what happened and told them not to worry. Jaemin almost cancelled the after party but Mark told him not to do it. He knew everyone was worried about them but he was also aware that Donghyuck needed some time alone.

After Donghyuck’s cry subsided into small sobs, Mark helped him up and Donghyuck didn’t let any protest when he held him by the waist, making sure he didn’t fall because the smaller could barely walk.

It felt like forever when they were finally pulled into the driveway. Mark opened the door for Donghyuck and let him walk first. He followed right behind him, watching his steps carefully because he was afraid the smaller might trip over something.

Donghyuck’s head was pounding so hard and he barely had energy left. He just wanted to go inside and go to sleep. He almost made it to the front door when suddenly a broad chest pressed against his back and strong hands wrapped around his waist.

He gasped loudly. “ Mark .”

Mark nuzzled his neck, breathing in his scent. Donghyuck’s body responded to the proximity of the familiar warm heat almost immediately and his chest expanded on a ragged breath as he tried to get free but Mark wouldn’t let him. Mark pressed their bodies harder, tightening his grip around the smaller. There was a strong urge to put his hand on top of Mark’s, to sink even deeper into his warm embrace, the place where he secretly and desperately wanted to be but Donghyuck still fought it. 

Instead he froze, his mind numbing.

“Let me go, Mark,” Donghyuck’s voice surprisingly came out steady but inside he was anything but calm and steady.

“I’m sorry,” he said, voice trembling with a wave of emotions. “I’m sorry, pup.”

Donghyuck’s chest instantly tightened. He opened his mouth to say something but found his voice was too gravelly and decided to stop. Mark slowly spun him around to face him but Donghyuck refused to look at him. 

Mark’s hand hesitantly reached up to tilt Donghyuck’s chin up.

“Donghyuck, please look at me?” 

Donghyuck still refused to look at him. 

“Please?”

It was the desperation in his voice that made Donghyuck finally lift his eyes to meet his. Mark looked at him, his soul bared to those deep eyes that didn’t let him hide anything. For the first time since they met again, Donghyuck could finally see the same eyes that used to look at him. There was so much regret, doubt, shame, and guilt in the look he gave him. 

But there was also the same love and affection that hadn’t been there for so long. It reminded him so much of what they had in the past. It was a look Donghyuck had never expected to see again. 

An aching pain stabbed him in the heart. The hidden truth made his eyes welled with fresh tears. He just lost his necklace and now Mark was looking at him like that. His eyes told him things that were hard to believe. Things he’d never really prepared for and it was just too much to take in.

Mark lifted one of his hands and brought it to Donghyuck’s face, holding the side of his face with careful and tender touch as if he was afraid he might break him again. Ever since he saw him again that day, he wanted so badly to catch him by shoulders and tuck his head into his neck because the smaller had always looked so fragile and close to falling apart. With each day that passed by, it was getting hard for Mark to maintain his distance. 

It killed Mark when Donghyuck was there, within his reach, yet he didn’t have enough guts to reach out. He had done enough damage before. He knew that. The memory of it gnawed at him constantly and the guilt never really left. The last thing he wanted was to hurt him again. So, he held back. He bit his tongue. He forced himself to stay still while his heart screamed at him to just reach out and fix whatever he could. 

But right now, Mark had had enough and he didn’t want to waste more time. He did it once and he didn’t want to make the same mistake again. He would rather risk everything than never move at all. 

It was now or never. 

“It was my fault,” Mark whispered, his face twisted with intense pain and Donghyuck was slightly taken aback to see it. “You didn’t do anything wrong. You are more than enough. I’m the one who should try harder and be better. And you’re right, Donghyuck. I’m a fucking coward and for the last seven years I’ve never stop hating myself for what I did to you. I’m so, so sorry.”

There was an open honesty in his eyes and Donghyuck didn’t know what to think or do right now. He just stared at him and when Mark leaned down to press his forehead to his, he didn’t flinch or try to get away. 

He closed his eyes, feeling their breath mingled.

“I just... I don’t understand,” he whispered, completely worn out, both mentally and physically. “And I’m hurt.”

“I know, pup. I’m so sorry for everything,” Mark replied, his words came out in a hushed murmur. His fingers brushed the hair from Donghyuck’s face. “I will explain everything to you. But right now, please let me fix things between us. Please give me another chance.”

Donghyuck exhaled roughly and his eyes squeezed shut. The back of his throat burned. He was shaking, overwhelmed by the knowledge of how much he needed this, how much he needed him. Donghyuck couldn’t even lie to himself. He’d been dreaming about this for as long as he could remember. He dreamt to be in his arms again and felt his body against his. He dreamt of hearing the truth directly from him. 

Everything seemed unreal for him. It didn’t feel real but Donghyuck didn’t know why he just couldn’t give in even though he wanted so badly to. The damage of their broken relationship was too painful to ignore and forget. On the other hand, he knew there were too many untold stories between them and he needed to know.

But one thing for sure, he was ready to listen now. 

“I know you probably won’t ever trust me again,” Mark spoke again, his voice full of sorrow. “I deserve it and I know that it’s the price I have to pay. But please let me try again, Donghyuck.”

Donghyuck wasn’t able to answer him verbally but he didn’t push Mark when the latter pulled him into his chest, holding him so tight that he almost squeezed the air out of his lungs. It felt so right that there was no way for Donghyuck to stop more tears from spilling out. They came in a hot flood, blurring his vision and closing his throat. 

Mark nuzzled his hair, whispering a faint ‘I’m sorry’ over and over again like a broken record. Donghyuck didn’t reciprocate the hug, his hands were on both of his sides but he buried his face in the crook of his neck, willing himself to sink deeper into his embrace.

And both of them knew it was enough of an answer. 

Mark didn’t seem to have any intention of letting go, even though they’d been standing there for minutes. And the reason why he didn’t move was because the smaller one actually fell asleep in his arms while standing. He must have been exhausted that he was out within seconds and it made Mark’s heart swell with affection because it reminded him of young Donghyuck who could sleep everywhere and anywhere. He just needed someone or something to lean on to fall asleep. 

Today Mark learned that it has always been a small thing. But as it turned out, it meant everything. 

With careful hands, Mark gathered Donghyuck into his arms and made his way to the couch. He lay back and drew Donghyuck against him, holding him tight. He held him as if he didn’t want to let go and he kept him as close as he could as if letting go wasn’t even an option. 

Mark looked down at him and his stomach knotted. Donghyuck looked so tired. The bags under his eyes were prominent and under the bright light of the room, Mark just noticed that Donghyuck’s cheeks had sunken. His mochi, plumpy cheeks were gone. He wasn’t glowing like how he used to be and Mark knew that it was part of his fault for making the younger look like that. 

It made him hate himself even more but this time the familiar resentment was followed with newfound determination. No more excuses. No more running. He couldn’t undo the past but he could fight to make the future different. He was going to make things right.

The silence between them broke abruptly when someone gasped—loud and dramatic. Mark turned, only to see Jaemin and Renjun standing a few steps away, eyes wide, jaws slack.

Their gaze dropped to Donghyuck lying across Mark’s chest, and then back up, clearly trying to process the scene. Behind them, the rest of the Dream members showed up in time to witness the moment, their shocked faces mirroring those  of Jaemin and Renjun. 

Before anyone could say something, Mark beat them to it. 

“Lower your tone,” Mark said quietly, without looking up. His hand unconsciously tightened around Donghyuck’s shoulder, making sure that Donghyuck was safe and sound. “Don’t wake him. He just fell asleep.”

“Uh,” Jisung said, cutting through the tension. “Did you two just have a full blown Mr. and Mrs. Smith moment or something?”

He glanced around the room dramatically, pretending to inspect for damage, as if expecting to find shattered furniture or a broken lamp. 

“No broken vases? Impressive.” 

Without warning, Chenle elbowed him in the stomach. The taller one doubled over slightly with a grunt, glaring at him in mild betrayal.

“Stop joking,” Chenle hissed, half-serious half-joking. He still looked a little lost about what exactly had happened but the sight of Mark and Donghyuck holding onto each other, firm and unwilling to part, put him at ease. 

That was already a good sign. 

“I don’t know what to say!” Jisung hissed back. 

Mark let out a deep sigh. 

Jaemin, who seemed to have just regained his sense of the situation, crossed his arms tightly over his chest, slipping into a defensive stance as he narrowed his eyes at Mark. But before he could speak, Renjun stepped forward first, his expression sharp and threatening.

“Are you two getting back together?”

“We know something has happened. We’re not blind, hyung,” Jaemin added. “We can see through your façade but we don’t say anything because we respect both of you.”

Jeno moved to stand just behind Jaemin, offering silent support without needing to speak. Jisung and Chenle stood off to the side, their expressions attentive. They understood this wasn’t their moment. It was the hyungs’ time to talk and they were here to listen. 

“No, we’re not getting back together,” Mark replied in a careful tone. “Not yet. And yes, I understand, Jaemin. Thank you for being very considerate of us.”

Jaemin let out a huff. 

“Then you must understand that I love you both but if you hurt Donghyuck again, I might punch you for real this time, hyung.” 

Mark didn’t seem surprised with the thread. He expected nothing less from a protective Jaemin. So he went along with it.

“Yes, I understand.” 

Renjun pinched the bridge of his nose. 

“Did you guys finally talk?” 

“Yes, but we still have a lot to talk about. At least now he’s willing to listen to me.” 

Donghyuck made a soft sound in his sleep, his face twisting ever so slightly. Mark instinctively tightened his hold, gently running his hand up and down Donghyuck’s back. 

The others exchanged glances. Something about the familiar intimacy in that moment made their faces soften, the weight in the room easing just a little.

Jeno finally stepped in. 

“I know you two are not happy for a very long time. We just want you guys to be happy. I think it’s time for you to make it right again, hyung.”

Mark’s throat tightened and he gave a silent nod. Sensing the heaviness in the air, Jeno stepped in, gently nudging the others to head to bed. One by one, they left the room, except for Chenle who stayed behind. 

Mark extended his hand with a soft smile. “Come here, xiao baobao.” 

Chenle walked over and stopped in front of them. He lowered himself onto the floor, sitting cross-legged as he faced the two figures who had always felt like parents to him.

“Is Mama okay?” 

“Yeah, he’s just exhausted,” Mark replied, his voice gentle. He reached out to stroke Chenle’s hair. “I’m sorry for making you worried.” 

Chenle shook his head slowly. “I just want Diedie and Mama to be happy. That’s enough for me.” 

Mark felt his heart squeeze. He looked at Chenle—really looked—and saw more than the usual mischief or clever remarks. This was the boy who had grown up watching them love each other, laugh together, and eventually fall apart. After the breakup, Chenle had been nothing but supportive. He never showed sides but Mark noticed the little things: how Chenle made sure to talk to both of them equally, how he never brought up the past, how he always acted like nothing had changed. 

Mark suddenly realized how hard it must’ve been for Chenle too. To watch his ‘parents’ drift apart. To pretend he didn’t notice the silence, the cold glances, the space between them that used to be filled with love and warmth. 

And still, here he was. Sitting on the floor with unending hope in his eyes, asking for nothing but their happiness.

Mark reached out and gently touched the top of Chenle’s head. 

“You’ve been too good to us,” he murmured. “Thank you for always being good for us.”

Chenle smiled, pure and child-like. 

“I’ll fix this,” Mark said, his voice firm and steady. Then, with a certainty that surprised even himself, he added, “We’ll find our way back to each other again. I know we will. We always do.”

Donghyuck woke up feeling groggy and dazed. He didn’t know what time it was because the room was dark and he could barely see. He shifted a little and that was when he realized a familiar heat behind him. His body stiffened as he could feel Mark’s breathing on his neck, his broad chest pressed against Donghyuck’s back, and his hands wrapped securely around his waist. Donghyuck could tell from his breathing that Mark was sleeping.

Donghyuck tried to stay still and control his breathing. He was still grieving over his necklace and he was still confused about what to do. He had a lot of reasons why this was supposed to be wrong and that he should quickly slip out of his embrace. There was nothing between them. They were just ex-boyfriends and now co-workers. Yes, they talked and Mark had asked for another chance, but it didn’t make things magically okay. They still needed time. Their relationship won’t be fixed immediately, not right now, not right away. But at the same time, having Mark’s heat enveloping him like a warm blanket made something twitch inside him, something deep and old. He still couldn’t believe this sometimes; being here, seeing him. Yet the feeling went on and for a brief moment he felt sixteen again. Felt as he hadn’t in years. Being close with each other again felt very easy and natural as breathing. 

A long time passed before Mark finally shifted a little and Donghyuck was aware that he was awake now.

“Are you going to punch me?” Mark asked in a low voice, his warm breathing hitting his skin, making shivers moved through him.

“What for?”

“For being such a dick. For making you miserable. For shamelessly asking for another chance. And for spooning you now.”

A pause. 

“Should I?” 

“You should.”

“If I punch you, will you let me go?”

Mark instantly tightened his hold around his waist, pulling him flush against him. He nuzzled his neck as he whispered, “Never again.”

Donghyuck sighed tiredly. He knew that they couldn’t talk right now. Today was more than enough. They couldn’t take more than this. They needed time and space. But there was something in the very back of his head that he’d been dying to ask for years now. He kept thinking about it and he couldn’t hold it anymore.

“Was it because of someone else? The reason why you left me?” he blurted out, feeling his heart clenched painfully just by thinking of the possibility. 

“God, no, Donghyuck,” Mark replied, his tone was high and hysterical. “I would never cheat on you.”

Mark carefully turned Donghyuck’s body on his back and almost instantly climbed on top of him, his strong arms trapped his small figure. Donghyuck’s blood was rushing and for a moment he couldn’t find his strength to push him, too stunned with the sudden intimacy.

“Donghyuck,” Mark said in a deep and firm voice. His lips twitched and his eyebrows knitted. He was clearly unhappy and upset at himself. But the way he looked into Donghyuck’s eyes showed his determination and sincerity. “I know what I did to you was awful. I have a lot to explain to you. It was my fault. Not yours. But never ever think that the reason why I left was because of someone else. It was anything but that. There’s no one else who could make me love them the way I love you. It’s still you, it has always been you, and it will always be you.”

Donghyuck felt as if something  had come undone, like a knot pulled free after being held too tight for too long. The pain pressed in from every direction. And up close, Mark was warm and smelled so much like their old days when things were good and they were still in each other’s arms. 

Mark was still more alive than everything in his life. He still smelled like home and it made Donghyuck burst into tears.

“Pup.”

Donghyuck sobbed his heart out until he couldn’t breathe. Mark didn't say anything, gently wiping the tears away from his cheeks. He held his face carefully and tenderly as if he was touching something that might fall apart in his hands, as if he was holding the most precious thing in the world. Donghyuck’s mind was fuzzy as Mark nuzzled the side of his face and then, just like that, their mouths fell together, already soft and open. 

The moment Mark’s lips touched Donghyuck’s, something inside him came apart. His lips were firm yet soft and gentle against his and his teeth scraped across his lower lip. The taste of Mark, a hint of rich black coffee, toothpaste, and aftershave, flooded Donghyuck’s senses. His whole body quivered in familiar pleasure. He clutched his hair and pressed himself closer. When Mark pulled away slightly, Donghyuck made a noise like it hurt.

“Pup,” Mark whispered, holding his face tenderly. Their foreheads touched and their breath mingled. “I missed you. Missed you so much.” 

Mark started to kiss his nose, his cheeks, the corner of his mouth, and his jaw. At that moment, Donghyuck realized with finality that nothing really changed. Mark was still the only one he wanted and needed in life. He still wanted him to be the only person who was going to drive on those overnight road trips. He was still the one who was going to stand next to him on stage. The one he wanted to see when he woke up. The one he wanted to share everything with. 

And he was still the one he needed to be happy.

Donghyuck sobbed. 

Mark, Mark, Mark. 

He was here. 

“Mark,”

Donghyuck reached up and touched his shoulders, the back of his hair, then the top of his ear, rubbing them between his finger and thumb. And then he touched his face too, cupping his jaw.

“Mark.” he said again and felt relief blowing through him like a ghost.

Donghyuck whispered his name over and over again and it sounded so right. He couldn’t think of anything else. He could only call his name. He had been denying his feelings for so long now that it felt as if the heavy weight on his heart was slowly disappearing just by calling his name. 

Mark was here, right there with him.

“I’m here, pup,” he pressed a tender kiss to the corner of his lips, voice thick with emotions. “I’m here now.”

Donghyuck’s chest tightened and more tears rolled down his cheeks. 

“You’re here now.”

Mark repeated what he said before leaning down again to capture his lips with his. He kissed him like he knew exactly who he was. He kissed him like he’d been waiting for him his entire life, his grip angling the smaller just the way he wanted. 

Donghyuck felt alive. Mark made him feel alive again.

Donghyuck held him by the face so he couldn’t pull away as he silently told him that he was ready to give him a chance.

Mark kissed him even harder. 

He got the message; loud and clear.

The next morning, Donghyuck woke up thinking that he couldn’t remember the last time he felt so warm, secure, safe, and so in love. It felt like he’d been dreaming of something good, something unreal, and it might go away when fell back to sleep again. But the broad chest that pressed against his back emitting a familiar warmth and the hands that wrapped securely around his waist were real. He was aware of Mark’s breath brushing against his nape, sending whispers of electricity through him. Mark was being the big spoon and Donghyuck was too comfortable to even move. 

So, it wasn’t a dream, even though it almost seemed too real to be true. He opened his eyes and blinked to see a clear yellow light streaming through the window.

“Good morning, pup,”

Mark’s voice was deep and rough from sleep. He inhaled Donghyuck’s scent, his lips pressed against his skin, trailing kisses on his shoulder. His fingers slipped underneath Donghyuck’s loose t-shirt and he carefully pressed his palm over his soft tummy, tracing patterns on his skin.

Donghyuck couldn’t help but shudder. Mark’s touches were featherlight and attentive. It had always been his habit to touch Donghyuck like that: gentle fingertips trailing along his skin, like he was memorizing every inch of him. Mark never rushed and it was as if he was trying to study Donghyuck all over again. 

Mark’s lips were on Donghyuck’s hair now, breathing him in and the smaller couldn’t help but blush because it felt so intimate. It had been years since the last time he was this intimate with someone else.

“How was your sleep, pup?”

Donghyuck let out a deep sigh and hummed, absorbing Mark’s touches that made his skin tingled. It had been awhile since he woke up feeling giddy and simply happy with Mark’s arms around him. He almost forgot how it felt like to be pressed closely against his, feeling his chest moved with every breath that he’d taken. He listened to his heartbeat that mixed with his and it made him think that they were somehow connected. It made him feel at ease and easy.

“It was good,” he said. "How’s yours?”

“Perfect,” he replied, his lips moving to Donghyuck’s ear, kissing it lightly. The smaller squirmed, giggling. Mark slowly turned Donghyuck around so he could see his face. 

They were so close now, their breath mixed. Donghyuck was gazing at him. Mark looked so peaceful with a smile decorated on his face. It was unguarded, relaxed, and sated. Donghyuck reached out and placed his hand in his face, making Mark let out a soft sigh as Donghyuck’s palm made contact with his skin. Mark closed his eyes as Donghyuck traced his sharp jaw, feeling strangely giddy as he could feel his stubbles scraping his skin. There was an unexpected electricity that flowed through him, amazed that even after years, he still got the fluttery sensation in his stomach when he touched him. He stroked his face and it nearly overwhelmed him. He didn’t know why but for some reason he felt the need to make sure everything was real.

“Is this okay?” Donghyuck asked, his voice was barely audible but it was loud enough for Mark to hear. The latter had both of his eyes closed, basking in Donghyuck’s touches.

“More than okay,” he replied without opening his eyes. “Keep going, pup.”

Donghyuck swiftly brushed the length of his cheekbone with his fingertips and realized that it was more prominent than before. His lips pursed slightly at that. Mark had gotten bigger and buffer but it was clear that he needed to eat more. He had lost some weight and Donghyuck made a mental note to make sure he ate enough. He lightly trailed his finger to the corner of his lips, brushing it with a feather-light touch that made Mark shudder slightly. 

Donghyuck stared at Mark and caught him in a happy and unguarded moment, a state of being he hadn’t seen for a while now. And it made him happy to see him happy. Donghyuck wanted to stay like this forever. He wanted to hear his voice, to feel his arms around him, keeping him safe and grounded. Donghyuck stopped touching him and after a heartbeat or two, Mark opened his eyes and stared back at him, his gaze warm and tender.

“Can I touch you, too?”

Donghyuck’s heart hammered in his chest as he nodded, not trusting himself to utter a single word. Mark slowly pushed him to his back and climbed on top of him. The smaller spread his legs so Mark could settle in between his thighs and it felt like the most natural thing in the world. 

Donghyuck wrapped his hands around Mark’s neck, playing with the back of his hair. Mark dipped his head down to kiss his forehead, the space between his eyebrows, the tip of his nose, his cheeks, down to the corner of his mouth. Donghyuck sighed happily as he slid his fingers into his hair, cradling the back of his head.

“Your skin is still soft like a baby,”

Donghyuck wrinkled his nose. 

“It’s not. I’m getting old.” 

Mark chuckled.

“You’re not that old, pup. And you always look beautiful to me.” 

Donghyuck let out a whine.

“It’s still too early for this kind of conversation.” 

“Yeah? You like it though.”

Donghyuck laughed and Mark kissed everything that moved. He pecked his lips, down to his chin, and then his neck, nuzzling his nose against his throat. Mark’s hair tickled Donghyuck's jaw and he leaned down to kiss the top of his head the way he always kissed him. His hair didn’t smell like shampoo. 

It just smelled like Mark, his Mark. And Donghyuck loved it.

“Your tummy is so fluffy, too. Like a marshmallow.”

“Are you insulting me for not having abs like you?”

This time, it was Mark who laughed. Donghyuck hadn’t heard him laugh for years now and he didn’t think twice as he pulled him up and sealed their lips together. Mark let out a gasp of surprise but it didn’t take long for him to take over the control. His firm lips moving insistently, his tongue dipping into his mouth, lightly touching and teasing with velvet licks. Donghyuck groaned into Mark’s mouth, deepening their kiss. Their tongues stroking, their breaths quickening. The kiss was overwhelming and it made Donghyuck gasp, completely swept away by Mark’s passion and the beloved feel of his weight pressing into him into the soft mattress.

A knock on the door broke their kiss and Mark made a noise as if he was hurt as he pulled away, panting slightly. He buried his face in Donghyuck’s neck, trying to calm his wild heartbeats.

Another knock on the door.

“Hyung, it’s time for breakfast!” 

The voice echoing from outside the door was undoubtedly Jisung. 

“I’m not going inside. Spare my eyes and get down here, please.” 

Mark let out a loud groan of protest. 

“Go away, Park Jisung!” 

“I’m not risking my life for you!” Jisung cried, still banging on the door. “If you don’t come down, Jaemin hyung will kill me and Renjun hyung will drag you down himself!” 

Mark laughed under his breath and looked down at Donghyuck, who was still nestled peacefully against his chest, happy and glowing. His eyes were bright and clear like the Indian summer skies. 

Donghyuck looked like the weight he’d been carrying had finally lifted, even if just for a little while. His skin caught the soft morning light peeking through the curtains, giving him a gentle glow that made Mark’s chest ache in the best way. He giggled softly, and just like that, Mark felt that life was worth living again and the world burst into vibrant color and golden lights. 

Donghyuck looked a lot like he belonged there, in his arms and right by his side, and Mark fell in love all over again.  

“Hello?? Are you two even listening to me? Get your ass down, please!” 

Donghyuck let out a scandalous gasp. 

“Language, Park Jisung!” 

“Get down, please! Now!” 

“Yes, yes, okay. Now go away.” 

They waited until Jisung stepped out and his footsteps faded into the distance. Mark tightened his embrace around Donghyuck, still unwilling to let go.

“Come on, Mark,” he coaxed the big baby. “We need to get up.” 

“Can we just stay here?”

“The others must be really worried about us. We need to tell them about us, too.”

Us . 

The word tumbled out of Donghyuck’s mouth before he even realized it. He paused, surprised by how easy and how right it felt after a very long time. Mark looked up, his grin dazzling. 

Donghyuck’s heart fluttered. His lips tugged into a smile before he could stop them. It wasn’t just the word that had slipped out. It was a feeling, a truth he hadn’t been ready to face until now. But looking at Mark, smiling like that, it didn’t seem so scary anymore. 

He was ready now. 

“Okay,” Mark obliged, leaning down to peck Donghyuck’s lips once. Twice. “Let’s go.”

When they were finally downstairs, everyone was already there. And the reaction was exactly how they predicted. 

The first to notice their presence was Jisung. He stopped mid-bite, eyes catching on their linked hands. For a moment, he just stared, processing what it meant. Then, with a satisfied nod of approval, his shoulders visibly relaxed, like he’d been holding his breath for far too long. A faint smile tugged at his lips, subtle but genuine, speaking volumes without a word.

Chenle was next. For a split second, he looked like he might launch himself across the room and tackle them both in a hug. But he held himself back, vibrating with excitement, and instead offered them his brightest, most radiant smile either of them had ever seen for a while now. It was full of pride, joy, and blinding. Mark and Donghyuck felt their hearts swell, so full of love for their loud, expressive, golden-hearted baby.

Jeno, ever composed, didn’t react with surprise as they expected. Instead, he looked up at them with quiet confidence, his gaze calm and steady. There was a soft, knowing smile on his lips as if he’d seen this moment coming long before they had and he’d just been waiting for them to finally catch up and make things right.

Jaemin and Renjun, however, were an entirely different story.

They noticed it almost simultaneously. One sharp glance at Mark and Donghyuck tightly intertwined hands and the realization finally hit them. In perfect chaotic harmony, they both screamed. Loud and shrill. The kind of scream that could shatter glass or at least eardrums.

Jaemin’s eyes went impossibly wide as he stumbled back a step, clutching his chest like he’d just witnessed the most shocking plot twist of the century. 

“Oh my god!” he shrieked, voice cracking at the peak of disbelief and delight. “Finally! Took you guys long enough!” 

“Fucking finally!” Renjun shouted. His jaw dropped, arms flailing in the air as he pointed accusingly at their joined hands like it was the most scandalous thing he’d ever seen. “You two owe me so much. Do you have any idea how much stress you’ve caused me? I’m going to get gray hairs before I turn forty and it’s gonna be your fault!” 

The room erupted into  a chorus of happy laughter. It was loud, ridiculous, and chaotic but it was also perfect. It was the kind of noise only love could make. And beneath all the noise, Mark and Donghyuck could see the genuine happiness, the relief, and the immense support shining in their friends’ eyes. 

“Thank you,” Donghyuck whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “We wouldn’t have made it through without all of you.” 

“Well, duh . Of course you can’t,” Jaemin shot back with his usual sass, a smirk playing on his lips. Donghyuck recognized it immediately; it was his way of keeping things light, of stopping the moment from getting too heavy. Because if it did, Jaemin would most definitely cry. 

“What would you two do without us?” 

“I seriously deserve a medal for putting up with everything.” 

“Park Jisung, You’re being dramatic.” 

“Can you at least for once support me and not your parents?” 

“I’ve been carrying the emotional burden of this unresolved tension for years!” Renjun let out a dramatic sigh but then in a more serious tone he added. “Whatever. Just don’t break up and make me go through all this again.”

“No, we will not break up again.” Mark said, his tone firm and left no room for argument. Donghyuck could tell that it wasn’t just a promise. It was a confidence he’d carried since he was still young. Mark said it as if he knew that he would make it. 

This time, Donghyuck believed that there would always be a way for them. No matter what happened in the future, they were in this together. They would get through this. 

“So, lunch is on you two,” Jeno said casually, leaning back in his seat with a smug little grin. 

Mark and Donghyuck laughed, light and happy and easy. It felt as if the last piece of a puzzle was finally clicking into place.

They were home.

Finally. 

“Yeah, sure. We can go to the mall after that. I will buy everyone whatever they want. Yushi can come too.” 

“YES! I WILL BUY THE MOST EXPENSIVE THINGS BECAUSE I DESERVE IT! 

“OH MY GOD! YOU’RE UNBELIEVABLE!” 

The conversation carried on around them, so full of life. Mark and Donghyuck exchanged a glance, hearts full, and in that moment, they both knew that they were incredibly, endlessly lucky to have these people in their lives.

Everything went back to normal after that and today marked their last day living in the dorm. Tomorrow, they will go back to their usual routines.

Chenle and Mark would be heading to Jeju with Donghyuck. They planned to have a short trip together for a few days to breathe and rest. Renjun, too, would be flying back to Beijing, finally returning home for a much-needed break. 

That day, Donghyuck and Mark offered to help with lunch. Jaemin narrowed his eyes the moment Mark stepped into the kitchen because his trust issues with Mark and cooking ran deep. A few moments later, Renjun showed up in the kitchen with a bag of groceries in his hand. He didn’t immediately step in, his expression was unreadable but heavy enough to shift the mood.

Jaemin paused mid-chop, knife hovering over the cutting board. He frowned, eyes locked on his best friend. 

Something was off.

“Renjunie, what’s wrong?”

Renjun didn’t answer him but he looked at Mark, his lips pressed into a tight line and his jaw tight. 

“There’s someone who wants to meet Mark hyung and she insists to come in—“

Before Renjun could even finish his sentence, a bright, cheery voice rang through the hallway, cutting him off mid-sentence. Everyone turned in unison as a woman—probably in her mid-twenties—stepped into the kitchen like she owned the place. She didn’t acknowledge anyone else in the room. Not Jaemin, who had gone completely rigid, his jaw dropping. Not Donghyuck, who was watching her with narrowed eyes and a growing knot in his stomach. Not even Renjun, whose warning had died on his tongue. Her eyes were fixed on Mark as she walked straight toward him, heels clicking softly against the floor. 

Mark looked like he had seen a ghost. He stood frozen in place, eyes wide, mouth slightly parted. The color drained from his face as if the world had stopped turning for a moment.

It was the kind of silence that made time stretch—thick, tense, expectant.

Then, without warning, she threw himself at him and pulled him into a kiss.

Right in front of everyone.

And all hell broke loose. 

Jaemin dropped the knife with a loud clatter, nearly slicing his finger. He let out a high-pitched shriek and it echoed through the hall. Renjun swore loudly in Mandarin, furious and full of wrath. 

Mark pushed her so hard she let out a yelp as she stumbled backward. He turned to Donghyuck who just stood there, watching it happen motionlessly. Watching her kissing his Mark. 

His heart plummeted so fast it hurt. 

“Pup—” 

Mark reached out and that was when Donghyuck snapped back into reality. 

Donghyuck didn’t spare Mark a glance. His chest tightened like it couldn’t contain everything he was feeling; shock, betrayal, confusion, hurt. 

He did the only thing he could do at that moment.

He turned around and run . 

Donghyuck’s first instinct when he saw Mark being kissed by a gorgeous woman was to run. He wasn’t the type to get jealous easily but he was still vulnerable. He still hadn’t recovered from the loss of his necklace and his relationship with Mark was still shaky. For him to witness such a scene made his chest twisted in pain. There was a dull roaring in his ears. He felt dizzy. Disoriented. Furious. But he was too tired to cry.

Donghyuck kept his head down as he pushed himself through the throng of people and walked on. He was walking with no direction or destination in mind. He didn’t know how long he’d been walking aimlessly. With every step he took, he began to calm down and started to look around. He didn’t know where he was right now but his legs hurt after walking for so long. He decided to walk over to the park nearby and settled himself on the swing. There weren’t many people right now and Donghyuck was relieved. The last thing he wanted was to deal with people and unwanted attention. It was risky enough to go out without a mask or a cap. He unintentionally had exposed himself to the public and someone might recognize him but he couldn’t bring himself to care. Not when the aching pain in his chest made him feel physically sick.

It felt like forever when Donghyuck felt his phone vibrate against him. He took the device out of his pocket and wasn’t surprised to see Mark’s name flashed on the screen. As much as he wanted to ignore him, he knew they needed to talk. The urge to run was there but he knew that they couldn’t go back to the way they used to, not after they agreed to try again. 

“Hello?” 

“ Pup .”

Mark’s voice didn’t sound like him. He sounded anxious and his voice wavered. But it was clear that he was relieved to hear Donghyuck’s voice.

“ Pup, I need to find you. Can you share your location and send it to me ?”

Donghyuck exhaled slowly. When he spoke again, his voice was surprisingly steady and it didn’t give away what he’s feeling, which made him somehow proud of himself for keeping his composure.

“Okay.”

“ I'll find you and I'll explain everything. I promise. Wait for me, pup, please? ”

It took Donghyuck for a moment before he finally replied, “Okay.”

Donghyuck hung up the phone and sat there, staring ahead. He knew Mark would come and find him. He always did. 

All he had to do was wait for him.

Mark halted his steps, his heart was pounding as he took in the sight of Donghyuck. He heard nothing. Not even a sound of the busy streets or people around him, just the beat of his own heart. There Donghyuck was, sitting on the swing, staring back at him. He didn't cry, which was good news for Mark. But he looked so lost and fragile that it hurt Mark's heart to see him like that. 

Why did he always end up hurting the one he loved the most?

Mark took a step forward. Another. And another again. His breath quickened as he was getting closer to Donghyuck. And then he stopped. His mouth was open, breathing heavily. He dropped on one knee, looking up at Donghyuck desperately.

“Donghyuck,” he whispered and felt relief flooded through him just by saying his name again. “I found you.”

Donghyuck just blinked at him. If his heart leaped at the sight of Mark, he didn’t show it on his face. He stayed impassive even when his mind was so loud. There were so many questions and now that the moment had finally come, Donghyuck couldn’t stop himself.

“You didn’t leave me because of another person.” it came out as a statement rather than a question. Donghyuck hadn’t planned it to be the first thing that escaped his lips but it just felt so unsettling after he witnessed the earlier event.

Mark shook his head firmly.

“No,” he said, his voice held an absolute certainty. “She is my co-worker. She likes me and she has been trying to hit on me for years but I never gave in. Before I flew back to Seoul, I had a party with my friends. I was drunk and we kissed but I passed out after that. She thought I finally gave her a chance. The next morning I explained to her that it meant nothing. I wasn’t in the right state of mind at that time. It wasn’t my intention to lead her on like that. I’ve apologized to her, too. I never expected her to come here and jump on me like that.”

Mark stopped to look up at the smaller, gauging his reaction. Now that the adrenaline from his anger had burned away, Donghyuck’s mind was getting clear and he knew he wasn’t lying. He might be hurt right now but he knew him long enough to know his gestures. There was honesty in there. 

It was blunt, raw, and open for him to see.

“Then, why?” he asked, his voice cracking at the end. The wall of control that he had carefully maintained dropped from his face, and the familiar pain, hurt, anger, and sorrow showed in it. He felt fresh tears building in the back of his throat as he looked back at Mark.

“Why do you leave me? Please just tell me the truth. I don’t think I can’t handle this anymore, Mark.”

Mark swallowed thickly, his eyes stung with unshed tears. He wanted to reach out for his hand but he felt like he wasn’t allowed to—not before he gave him what he deserved. He hadn’t told him the truth. There were so many things he needed to say. Mark hadn’t told him just how much he loved him. He hadn’t told him that the only thing that mattered the most in his life was him. He hadn’t told him that he was sorry for everything. He was a coward before and he wanted to fix it. 

He wanted to fix things. Fix him. Fix them. He’d caused enough pain, misery, and tears for Donghyuck and he didn’t want to do it again. He didn’t want to go through the same pain and he didn’t want them to walk on this path again. Once was enough.

“I was scared,” Mark started, his voice throbbed with emotions. “Things just went downhill after our contract was about to end. Suddenly I was afraid of the uncertainty. I had no idea who I was, what I wanted, what I dreamed about. I was unhappy, confused, and scared. And then suddenly we grew apart and I didn't know how to reach out to you. I should have told you instead of ending things like that.”

“It wasn’t fair,” Donghyuck choked out, his eyes brimming with tears. “You didn’t think I was scared, too? I was fucking terrified. One thing that kept me going was the fact that I had you by my side. But then you were gone. What am I supposed to do, Mark?”

“I'm sorry,” Mark said, moving closer but still not touching him. “I didn’t make it easy for you. For us. I screwed up and I could never forgive myself for what I did to you.”

“Were you planning to come back? After you left?”

“Every time,” he replied without missing a single beat, sinking his eyes into his as deeply as he could. “I’ve lost count how many plane tickets I’ve booked but every time I was at the airport, I always chickened out. I just couldn’t handle the thought of you hating me. You probably didn’t want to see me again. But then the reunion concert happened and I didn’t have another choice but to face you again. You didn’t know how happy I was when I saw you again. I’ve never stopped loving you and I never really tried to forget you. I’m so sorry it took me seven years to man up and tell you the truth. I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner and I’m so, so sorry for making you wait this long.”

By the time Mark stopped talking, he was breathless. Bile rose in his throat and he forced down a sob. He finally could let everything out. There were so many things he regretted but he knew he couldn’t go back to the past and fix it. What was ahead of him was the present and the future. And as he stared at Donghyuck, everything became clear. 

Things wouldn’t always be good. He could never predict the next five minutes with Donghyuck. It would always be unpredictable. He could never guess the ending and he’d failed to see that it was one of the things that kept him alive. It made him anticipate the next day because he knew there was always something new to discover. Something new to learn. It could be bad or good but at the end of the day, Donghyuck was there. He was the only person Mark could think of when he pictured his future. It was everything he’d ever wanted in life. 

And it was perfect. 

He was perfect.

“Why did you stop making music?” 

For a moment, Mark was taken aback by the question. But when he looked at Donghyuck, he knew that the latter could already guess the answer. He just needed him to say it. 

He needed to say something. 

Back then he unintentionally let things go wrong because he didn’t want to admit that something was wrong and it was easier to pretend that everything was fine. He should have said something, anything, and let Donghyuck know. He thought he could handle it. He thought he was strong enough to do it alone. He forgot that communication and understanding came in handy. He forgot that that was how they kept their relationship grounded for so long. 

Mark didn’t want things to go wrong again. He didn’t want to go off the trail again. So far that his loved one couldn’t reach him. 

“I couldn’t,” Mark said, recalling the past few years he’d spent in his studio and no matter how hard he tried, words didn’t come out. Rhythm didn’t flow. And he was stuck; alone and miserable. “I just couldn’t get it out of myself. It was like I was lost and I couldn’t find my way back. I missed you the most at that time and music no longer gave me the safety and comfort I needed. And the hardest part was realizing that no matter how much I tried to force it, it wouldn’t come back. You wouldn’t come back. So I stopped trying.”

Donghyuck blinked at Mark. His lips wobbled and not being able to hold it anymore, a loud sob burst through his lips. Mark reached out for Donghyuck’s hand and felt a rush of relief when he met him halfway. He felt settled as he gripped his hand firmly, afraid to let go again. 

“I was grieving, “ Mark met Donghyuck's eyes then, his gaze soft yet raw. “It wasn’t just the loss of the music. It was losing you and it felt so much like I lost everything.” 

Mark lifted his free hand to hold Donghyuck’s face, wiping his tears away from his cheeks. 

“I’m sorry,” Mark whispered, a tear rolled down his cheek. “I’m sorry I couldn’t turn back time and fix the past. I wish I could but what I can offer right now are the present and the future. I will try harder and be better for you. I will do anything to make up for the past. I’ll give you everything you deserve.”

Mark let go of Donghyuck’s hand to take something out from his pocket. And then after a heartbeat or two, he held out his hand and Donghyuck’s hand flew to his mouth as he stared at the ring—his lost ring. It nestled safely on Mark’s palm. The chain was gone and it was just the ring now, blinking at him. 

Donghyuck couldn’t believe that he could see it again. He thought he’d lost it forever. But there it was. 

Mark had found the ring.

“You dropped it right before we got off the stage. I stepped on it actually and I couldn’t believe it when I found it. It was like a sign. I didn’t tell you right away because I wanted to give it back to you when the time was right. I guess, it’s now.”

Donghyuck dropped his gaze to the ring and something inside him sparked just thinking about having it on his finger again. The ring shone under the bright light of the sun, silently telling him what exactly he needed. Exactly what he wanted. 

The past was already in the past but the future was going to happen. Donghyuck didn’t know if he was ever ready for it but at least he could make sure he was with the right person. Because that was the point of life. 

To find someone to share everything with.

“Do you want to see if it fits? It’s been seven years since I had it on my finger.”

It wasn’t exactly an open acceptance but it was an invitation to another chance, to start over again. Mark’s heart thumped loudly as he took Donghyuck’s left hand in his ever so gently and slid the ring into place on his third finger. 

The moment Donghyuck had it back there, he knew that he did the right thing. He knew that he and Mark had made some mistakes and did some things they wished they could change. It already happened and it would pass too. 

As Donghyuck stared at his finger, he knew they would be fine now.

“A perfect fit,” Mark said softly. “It looks very good on you.”

Donghyuck held out his palm and Mark immediately intertwined their hands. He gripped it fiercely and felt a rush of relief flooded through him. 

Finally. 

Finally .

“From now on, you have to tell me everything. What you’re thinking. What you’re worried about. What you want. Everything. Say something. Anything.”

“Can I tell you what I want for dinner tonight?”

A small laugh escaped Donghyuck’s lips. He looked so beautiful and he was glowing like the sun. Mark stretched on his toes and touched his forehead against Donghyuck’s, their noses bumped.

“Did you miss my kimchijiggae ?”

“I missed everything about you. I couldn’t get enough of you.” 

Donghyuck held his face tenderly. 

“I’m here now.”

“We’re gonna be okay.”

“I believe you, papa.”

The nickname made Mark’s heart stutter, warmth started spreading through him. His breath caught in his throat and for a moment, time seemed to slow down. Happiness bloomed inside his chest because he hadn’t heard it in a very, very long time. 

Mark tightened his hold around Donghyuck’s waist. 

“Can I kiss you, pup?” 

“Yes, please.”

Mark dipped his head down to kiss Donghyuck, his mouth moving gently. This time, their kiss tasted like a ray of sunshine with a hint of hope and a new beginning. It would take time to heal and amend the already broken hearts and crushed dreams, but it was the start.

Until then, they had each other. And it was enough.

EPILOG

“Papa, what happened to your lips? Why is it bruised?” 

“Uhm, Jaeminie punched me?”

Donghyuck’s eyes widened in shock. He cradled Mark’s face, carefully brushing the corner of his swollen lips with his fingers. He felt bad for not realizing it before.

“I’m going to punch him back.”

Mark shook his head. 

“No, it’s okay, pup. I totally understand why he did that. I deserved it.” 

“Well, maybe you do. But if anyone has to punish you, it’s me. Not anyone else.”

“I know, pup,” Mark said, and he was smiling. He smiled a lot now. And Donghyuck liked to watch him looking so happy like that. “Both of us know that Jaemin is just worried about you. He probably had been waiting for the right time to punch me on the face. We’re good now.”

“Fine. I’ll forgive what he did to you. Only because I love him so much and understand where he is coming from.”

Mark took one of Donghyuck’s hands and kissed each of his fingers gently, his lips brushing where the ring settled safely on Donghyuck’s third finger and smiled.

“I can’t believe I almost missed this.”

“But you didn’t miss it. That’s what matters now.” Donghyuck said, smiling back at him. 

“I almost did.”

“Don’t,” he stopped him with a gentle tone, brushing the hair back from his eyes. “We’ve been through it. Enough for now.”

“I’m not going to leave you. Even if I have to face Jaemin’s wrath later.”

“He might punch you again,” he teased. “You can’t take another punch.”

“I can. For you, I will take as much punch as I can. If that’s what it takes to be with you, then I will do it.” 

“You’re going to make me cry again,” he choked, eyes brimming with new fresh tears. 

“No, don’t cry, pup. Enough for now.”

Mark wiped the tears away from his cheeks, leaning forward to drop a kiss to the tip of his cute button nose, something he always did when they were still together. He then took his hand in his much larger one and squeezed. 

There was a silent inquiry in the touch, and the smaller looked down into his eyes.

Mark searched his gaze for a long moment, and then brought their joined fingers up to his mouth. His eyes were intense, never flinching, never leaving his face as he said, “If I can gain your trust again, if we are finally ready to take another step forward, would you let me marry you?”

“ What? ”

Donghyuck’s heart stopped. 

Had he heard him correctly? 

Donghyuck stared at Mark and Mark didn’t even blink. His eyes were burning with determination. 

Oh, God. He was dead serious.

“I’ll invade your personal space.” Donghyuck said, trying to give him an out. Or maybe he did himself a favor.

“I’ve been sharing it with you for half of my life. And that’s one of the things I missed the most when we were apart. I don’t mind sharing it with you for another half of my life.”

Mark shrugged and gave him an easy smile meanwhile Donghyuck was so ready to burst. But the smaller couldn’t deny the spark inside him. 

Lost hope kindled and ignited.

“I’ll drive you crazy.” he whispered.

Mark’s lips curled into a small, knowing smile, and he leaned in a little closer. 

“Already done,” he said, his voice barely above a murmur. “In the best possible way.” 

The air between them seemed to crackle with an unspoken understanding, the kind that only time and familiarity could forge.

Mark ran a finger over his temple, gently pushing back a strand of hair. 

“I don’t think I could handle another night coming home to an empty house and even colder bed. I want to come home to you every night, Donghyuck.”

Donghyuck stared at him, knowing that he never wanted anything so much in his entire life like he wanted Mark. Which made it simple, really.

“It'll take some time for me to be ready.”

“For you,” he said, “I believe I’d wait for as long as you want.” 

“And if it takes forever?”

“Then forever will I wait for you, pup.”

Donghyuck didn’t doubt him. His knees were wobbling and it was a good thing that he was still sitting on the swing. Or else he would’ve already fallen on the ground. But even if he did, he knew that this time Mark would be there to catch him.

Donghyuck leaned down to wrap his arms around his broad shoulders, pressing his face to his throat, and kissed him there. The position was slightly uncomfortable but he loved how Mark’s arms tightened around him.

“Yes.”

“Yes to what?”

Donghyuck lifted his face and smiled. 

“Yes. To everything.”

ADDITIONAL SCENE 

On a crisp Spring morning

“Sakuya, baby! Please don’t walk too fast. Baba is afraid you might fall.” 

“Sakuya, sweetheart. Listen to your Baba, please.”

“Diedie! Baba! Catch me!” 

One warm Summer day

“Diedie, when will Chenle gege arrive?”

“In a few minutes, baobao. Baba is picking gege up from the airport.” 

“I miss gege soooooo much!” 

“Yeah, Diedie misses him too.” 

“Can we sleep together again?” 

“Yes, of course. Anything you want, baobao.” 

On a quiet Autumn night 

“Sakuya, baobao. Why are you still up, baby?” 

“Diedie, Baba. Can we sleep together tonight?” 

“Come here, baobao.” 

A rustling. 

Legs entangled. Bodies pressed together. 

Close and warm. 

“This is very comfortable. Now I’m sleepy.” 

“Sleep tight, baobao. Diedie and Baba will always be here with you.” 

“We will always keep you safe.” 

On a stormy Winter afternoon 

“Ugh, I am soooo full! Baba’s cooking is sooooo good! I love it so much! Thank you for cooking for us, Baba!” 

“You’re welcome, love.” 

“My husband is amazing, right, xiao baobao?” 

“My Baba!” 

“My husband too!”