Work Text:
CATFISH are hanging out at the playground—Kai lying upside-down on the slide, and Rei on the swings, phone in hand.
Kai looks up at Rei, watching him lazily kick the ground and shuffling pieces of park mulch around. As he was just about to break the silence, Rei beat him to it.
"This pmo." He groaned.
Kai raised his eyebrow at him, not understanding the letters uttered from his friend's mouth.
"Huh?" He questioned—hoping for a translation.
"This dude is out here operating on 1%, commenting shit like this 💀" Rei turned his phone around and showed to Kai, but all he understood were upside-down hieroglyphics.
"Can I get a transcript? I have no clue what you're talking about."
Rei sighed. "Nothing, just some walking L not understanding that the video is satire."
Kai slid down, sitting right-side-up at the end of the slide. "The person not understanding here is me. What language are you speaking in—Pee-em-oh, L, 1%??? I'm so confused."
"Lmao what are you yapping about"
Kai stared at the lilac haired fellow, who looked completely out of it.
"Rei, are you high?"
"Nah, I'm vibing"
"What."
"VIVIAN HELP ME HE'S COMPLETELY LOST HIS MIND" Kai pleaded, dropping to his knees in front of his friend's roommate.
"I can't help you, he's been like this all week—just talking in tiktok." She shrugged him off, stepping back and flopping onto her bed.
"Talking in tiktok??" He repeated.
"Well, yeah. Surely you've heard of it, every person our age knows what tiktok is."
"Of course I know what tiktok is! I just—what does tiktok have to do with Rei speaking in alien?" He interrogated.
"Why are you acting like a single-celled organism, he gets the vocabulary from tiktok, a bit obvious, don't you think?"
"Oh zip it, how do I fix him??"
"I don't know, he's probably completely lost to the brainrot by now."
"Whatsup skibidi rizzler."
Kai rolled his eyes and ignored him, snatching the phone out of his hands.
"Bro!" He protested. "What the freak ru doing,"
"I'm not giving it back until you stop talking like that, no one here understands you, and I'm not sure I want to know what 'sybau' means."
"NAH ts pmo… sybau fr… like bffr i’m js tryna yk?? be me?? nd u gon snatch MY phone??? on 2025 Earth??? negative aura rizzmaster."
Kai's jaw fell open.
"u gagged?? LMAOOO not u stunned by my sigma brainrot rizz… like girl b calm it’s not that deep i’m js built glitchy."
"REIIII!!!" he smacked him on the arm.
"Owch, I'm just playing with you, no need to be aggressive."
Sigh.