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“Did you see? That douche bag is back again tonight.”
Levi looked up as a couple of the wait staff walked by. He had just come from the restroom and was making his way back to the table where his family was seated, celebrating his niece’s birthday. What eight year old wanted to celebrate in an upscale restaurant? Mikasa apparently.
“You mean that guy who shows up a half hour before the date starts just so he can see how early the other guy is.”
Oh, now Levi was curious.
“I’ve never seen him with the same guy twice. I sat him beside that table with the kid’s birthday, just to piss him off,” the hostess bragged.
“Ymir, you’re awful. His poor date. Maybe we should slip the guy a warning on a napkin or something.”
It seemed like Levi was in for dinner and a show. He walked back to the table and made sure he had a clear view of what was going down. The guy at the table across from him looked attractive enough in that generic social media sort of way, hair just so, the trendiest clothes…hell, the fucker looked like he had a skin routine. This had to be the guy. He was nervously checking his surroundings, adjusting his sitting posture, checking his teeth using his phone camera. Classic signs of a first date.
“Right this way, sir. Your party is waiting.”
Levi turned to see what poor sod would be subjected to Captain Douche for the evening.
“Damn,” Levi cursed under his breath as the date came into view. Tall, Blond, and Dreamy walked confidently over to the table with a warm, friendly smile that was all white teeth and dimples. The width of his shoulders were accented by the cut of his tailored dress shirt, while its dark teal color brought attention to his unbelievably gorgeous eyes. The fit of his charcoal slacks really highlighted the length of his long legs and tight ass. He was the type of man that turned heads, and almost every head in the place had turned just to observe him.
“Poor bastard,” the nearby waiter whispered to the hostess as she passed.
“Yeah,” she said. “He seems like a really nice guy, too.”
“You must be Drew,” Blondie greeted, with a voice so deep and sexy that Levi wanted to melt.
“Erwin, right?” Douche said without bothering to stand to welcome his date.
“I hope I didn’t keep you waiting too long. I was actually a little embarrassed to be close to 15 minutes early, but the hostess said you were already waiting.” The blond, Erwin, said as he took his seat.
“Well, I guess that just means I was more eager than you, then,” Douchey Drew said with a sarcastic smile.
Levi tried to look like he wasn’t watching, so he glanced at his mother who just looked back at him and tried not to smile. It seemed like she was enjoying the show, too. His uncle, Kenny, snorted in his water glass before yelping because Kuchel kicked him under the table.
“More eager? I don’t know about—“
“So, Erwin, do you often leave your dates waiting? I mean is this something we will have to work on for next time?”
“I am 15 minutes early for the time you designated for us to meet. If you arrived too early, that is poor planning on your part.” Oh, Blondie was a sassy one.
“I heard it was someone’s birthday today!” The chipper waitress that had been serving Levi’s table came out with a crowd of other servers around her. They were clapping before singing the birthday song, encouraging nearby tables to join in. Which, most of them did…even the big, beautiful blond, much to his date's consternation.
“I cannot believe you right now,” the nutsack spat angrily.
“Excuse me?”
“We are on a date,” Dick-Drip Drew sighed and collected himself. “I see that I am going to have to teach you about my expectations going forward.”
“Listen, Drew—“
“Erwin, when we are on a date, my expectation is that the entirety of your attention is on me. I’m sure most men would agree with me on this.”
Levi fought not to laugh as the blond stared at his date in horrified confusion.
“Levi, should we say something?” Kuchel leaned over and asked.
“Give them a minute,” he waved off his mother.
“Are you upset that I sang Happy Birthday to a child?” the blond finally managed to ask.
“Yes! It was embarrassing and drew too much attention to you. Not to mention your focus was not on our date.” Dick-for-brains studied Blondie for a moment. “And don’t get me started on how you are dressed.”
Erwin looked down at himself and back up at his date, mouth opening and closing as if he wasn’t quite sure how to respond.
“The way I’m dressed—“
“Yes. It’s obvious that you wanted attention, and not just from me. That’s not very appropriate for a first date. The shirt is too fitted and the slacks leave nothing to the imagination…”
Both Erwin and Levi seemed to tune him out at this point. Erwin flagged down a waitress.
“Can I get a scotch, neat, please?” The blond requested with a strained smile and a clenched jaw. The waitress just smiled knowingly and nodded, but not before Dickwad grabbed her wrist.
“No, he won’t be needing that drink.”
“Excuse me? I wasn’t asking permission. And do not touch the staff.” Erwin swept his hand off the waitress and apologized.
“Listen, I can see that you’re probably not used to real men in your life. But you’re mine—“
“I beg your pardon!”
“Well, you’re going to be mine and you need to learn how to behave!”
“Levi, don’t make a scene.” Levi hadn’t even realized that he had stood until his mother pulled on his sleeve with a whispered warning.
“Let him go,” Kenny snorted. “Better him handle it than me.”
So, Levi made up his mind and approached the table. He passed the scared waitress on the way and asked her to deliver the blond’s drink to the bar, where Levi would bring him in just a moment…if he didn’t get kicked out for inciting violence.
“Erwin? Oh, hey, I’m so glad I ran into you here,” he said loud enough to gain the attention of both men. Erwin turned sharply, clearly confused by a voice he had never heard before, but Levi hoped that he understood his intentions enough to play along. The blond must have, for he smiled widely.
It was a pretty smile.
“I didn’t expect you to be here today. Small world.” It was believable…good.
“Yeah, I have to play the doting Uncle Levi today. I saw you when they were singing Happy Birthday and I just had to come talk to you. I’ve been kicking myself since last week when I rushed out, forgetting to get your number.” Levi made sure to lay it on thick. Not that Levi would have ever forgotten to get this guy’s number if he had ever had a chance to get it.
“Oh, I thought maybe…maybe it was me. That you weren’t—“
“Don’t you dare think that. It was one of the best nights of my life, and I would really like a second chance.” It may have been the lighting, but Levi could almost swear that the blond blushed.
“Excuse me, but can’t you see we’re on a date and you’re interrupting,” Dick-sneeze Drew interjected.
“I really don’t care,” Levi snarked before turning to Erwin with a grin. “I’m not talking to you. I’m talking to Erwin. Erwin, do you think I’m interrupting?”
“Of course he thinks you’re-“
“No, Levi, you’re not interrupting anything.”
“Great!” Levi held out his hand. “Why don’t we go to the bar and pick up where we left off the other night?”
“Are you going to ask me for my number this time?” Erwin asked, taking Levi’s hand.
“Blondie, I’m going to do more than ask for your number,” Levi teased, honestly. There was no way he was leaving this restaurant without a phone number and a plan for a date, especially, when Erwin stood and towered over him by almost a foot. Damn, he loved tall men.
“Erwin, you leave with him now, you can forget about ever hearing from me again,” Derpy Drew squawked.
“I can live with that,” Erwin said without letting go of Levi’s hand. “I guess we just didn’t really click. Good luck. I hope you find what you’re looking for.”
Levi tugged on Erwin’s hand and led him to the bar where a fresh scotch was placed in front of Erwin. Levi ordered himself a draft.
“Thanks for that. I was puzzling out how to bow out gracefully without losing my temper or making a scene.” Erwin looked a little embarrassed, but grateful.
“Yeah, I overheard the wait staff plotting to save you before the date even started. Apparently, he’s a frequent flyer.”
Erwin sighed. “I’m so bad at this. I’ve been out of the dating scene for too long.” Erwin leaned and tapped his shoulder to Levi’s. “This was my first attempt at online dating.”
“Delete the app. You’re a terrible judge of character. You’re not allowed to use dating apps,” Levi half-joked.
Erwin laughed. “That hopeless, huh?”
“Just how long have you been out of circulation?”
“This is embarrassing…um…about 15 years? “. Erwin’s very prominent eyebrows knit in concentration. “Yeah, that sounds about right. It’s been five years since my last relationship.”
“Fifteen — wait, what? So, you’re divorced?”
“Widower.” Erwin’s smile was bittersweet. “He died five years ago. It took me a while to decide I was ready. To tell the truth, I’m scared shitless right now. It’s…a lot. But I never dreamed I would fail so spectacularly.”
Levi watched as Erwin’s smile turned sad and self-deprecating. He leaned closer and made sure to meet Erwin’s eyes. “Well, I think you’re doing just fine. I’m still sitting here, and I’m still determined to get your number before we walk out that door.”
“Really? You weren’t just using that as an excuse—“
“Nah, Blondie.” Levi reached over and gently ran his fingertips over the back of Erwin’s hand and up under the cuff of his shirt, where he gently caressed the warm skin of Erwin’s wrist. “First, I’m going to get your number. Then—“
“Then?” Erwin swallowed before his lips parted with a gentle, shallow breath.
“Then, I take you on a real date, where you can sing whatever you want, and wear whatever you want. And, maybe if I’m lucky, I can get to first base by the end of the night.” Levi grinned as he watched Erwin’s blue eyes darken.
“Oh, that sounds nice.”
“You keep looking at me like that, I’m gonna want to go further than first base,” Levi teased with a wink and sat back up straight, digging his phone from his pocket.
“You’re really good at this,” Erwin commented as he got out his phone as well. They exchanged numbers and made dinner plans for the upcoming weekend before Levi called Erwin an Uber.
“Nah. I’m just the kind of guy who goes after what he wants. Have a good night, Erwin.”
“You, too, Levi. I look forward to seeing you Saturday,” Erwin said honestly as the car pulled up the curb.
“Talk to you tomorrow, Blondie. And remember — stay away from the apps.”
Erwin chuckled and shook his head. He waved out the car window as the car drove away.
Yeah, Levi had a feeling that Erwin wouldn’t be seeing anyone else for the foreseeable future.